Transcript
Attention, attention. All the things you've been swooning after on the lady Gamescom, all of our clothing and beautiful merch, there's a huge warehouse sale happening right now. It's not going to last long, but go over to shop Dot the lady Gamescom and you're going to find some epic things like you can get a velvet dress for $39. You can get a hat for 10. The swag kit is 99. Head over there. There's so much greatness. And you know what? You're welcome. It's time for good game PodcastOne presents the LadyGang The Hollywood Girl Posse with LadyGang Quickie. Here's Keltie Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jac Vantiq. Let's make this quick. Oh my gosh, you know this isn't Becca. This is Jac. And that's Beccause we have a very, very, very special episode for you. And guess what? It's all of our favorite good week. Bad weeks from the past six years, there has been some hilarious, disgusting, crazy things that have happened to us over the years, and you're going to hear about him a collective bad week. We got in a little bit of trouble. We started the vampire podcast and got really excited and did a photoshoot and did a logo and got it up on iTunes, and we worked our butts off. We worked so hard to get this podcast up then. Out of the internet abyss came someone who actually legally owns the name vampire. Now we were confused by this Beccause she hadn't really done a whole lot like the brand wasn't out there. It wasn't like Nike where you were like, Yeah, someone obviously already started Nike. Like, it was like a little bit of a disarray, so we weren't sure what's going on. So then the vampire Beccame very popular, and it's awesome, and you guys listened and you loved it and you shared it. And it's everywhere. And we've like over 4000 social media followers already on Instagram, like in just a few weeks, which is just mind blowing. The bad news is, is that we are going to have to change the name of the podcast so that we don't get sued Beccause we want to continue to buy bags and shoes and lap dances. I want to I want to be able to afford. Yes. And so you have one week to change everything and become best friends with everyone at iTunes and figure out what we're going to do that quickly. Preamble this if you're new to leading a podcast and you haven't listened to all of our episodes, there has been no list. It's really more of its if you haven't prefaced, did OK, I want to. So it seemed right now I want to preface preface. Yes, like prefects preface, whatever you. You're a journalist. I hate you both preface OK. I want to preface this by saying to all of you, Lady Gaga's who are loving and supportive of me. For many years, I've been talking about this guy who works out at the gym, at my work, and we call him Jeans Man, and he works. He's incredibly hot. He went through a stage of ugly. He's back to doing what he came in first, a bedazzled gene, which is what first drew me to attention. Then he had a skinny jean. Now he is. Then he had a dark denim, then he went to cargo pants and I was like, It's over. But then I've seen him recently. He's back into a skinny. Which brings me to today. Genes man was on The Bachelor, excuse me, I know which one. Oh my God. So one of the assistants at work was like, you know, genes, man, and then wrote me this and said he was on The Bachelor. Let me see whose reason. Here he is. Full Bachelor Pad cast revealed Jessie back. He was an actor. And then he was on Bachelor in Paradise. What is he doing on the show? Not on Bachelor in Paradise? He was. Let me see him. No Bachelor pad. That was before my time for something in their past. I don't know. Wait, what does he do now on the CBS? I don't know. I've never talked to him. I'm scared of him to take a look at his IMDb. So I drink red wine before I go to bed. Like every night, Allison wine. I get really chill. So good, it's good for you. It helps with weight loss and then I don't go to the gym, whatever. So the other night I was doing my thing watched Curb to go to bed and I forgot to brush my teeth. So I woke up like an hour after I went to bed and like a half awake sort of haze and I'm like, Oh, OK, you got to go brush my teeth, so don't put my glasses on. It's dark and I'm like walking to the bathroom. I like, get my toothbrush and I go to put the toothpaste on. I start brushing my teeth, not your toothbrush. I brush my teeth with Monastir. Why? Why? Why did you have monocyte? Oh, so readily available my you know what? That is the best ever so far it was. It was in the history reality gang. It was sour, to say the least Beccause I was cleaning out my bathroom and I was like getting rid of some stuff. And I just like, put them on a spot next to a couple of other tubes of stuff. And it looks like a toothpaste tube. It does. And I just had it like on my my counter, and I was having these like like sour, sour and a little bit like how many seconds before you noticed? I mean, pretty. It was pretty quickly. Wow. But it's still entered my mouth and it was disgusting. Congratulations today. This is so good. Today we came in and we had a lot of meetings prior to, you know, recording this. We met some important people. Kelly and Jac are both wearing leggings today. Oh no, this is a good ringer, but this is my good week. And at one point one of our meetings, I noticed that the person was staring at both Keltie and Jac's vaginas Beccause you both are sporting the most aggressive camel today. And I love you guys are very revealing. Know I can't even tell you like I could draw on your vagina right now. And so I have a small vagina, but really nice. It doesn't look that small today. You both have the words camel toes I've ever seen. And if I waited this long to tell you Beccause I wanted it to be like this, but I felt like that friend who doesn't tell your friend when there's something in there to you. So it felt like all day today, you're such a b***h. But like, what do you do about it? I can't tell you. Maybe put a barrier now on my sweatshirt in the car, so give yourself back up. I can't change it. That's OK. There's a rule on the LadyGang in the Facebook group Beccause they're talking about some girl. She's like, Do I tell my friend this or that? Some girl said, If it's something that you can't change in five minutes, you can't tell your pants out of your vagina. I have nothing to come right where it's like you had a Jacet with me. You could say Jac put on the Jacet, but I don't adjust it like it's literally like your vaginas eating dinner right now. They're also really shiny and that I, you know, I thought about this and I put them on, but was already in the car and I was already leaving my apartment that I was like, You know, Oh, well, it is what it is. Everybody can see what my vagina looks like. Life is a camel toes, so this is amazes me at all. I'm like, You're welcome, world. Enjoy the best camel toe you've ever seen. It is not just the biggest camel toe you've seen Mecca of all time. It's the best g*****n camel toe in the world. I'm very competitive. It's the number one cow. Look exactly what you guys said was going to happen happened. Your husband has left you. Yeah, no. So listen, my husband, who I love so dearly, it's my birthday yesterday and I always have the worst birthdays. There's something about Christmas is amazing. Valentine's Day is also my anniversary is always delicious. Something bad happens on my birthday every year. Like, it's just a crappy time. And I don't know if it's I bring it into my universe Beccause I'm like manifesting IMO. Whatever, anyway. Somers was on a work trip. I could not even sleep for two days. He's in New York and he was in Miami and is all over the place with one of his clients and like, they're on a private jet and I'm pretty sure they were like w***es around anyway. So I couldn't sleep for two days and I was like, I don't know what's happening. And one of the nights I was so restless, I took a NyQuil and I still couldn't sleep. So I got up and I walked down the street on Santa Monica Boulevard, which is like, I don't feel safe at all of the night. Yes. And I got four doughnuts, a Boston cream. Where did you go, donut time? You know, that place is like a drug, literally where you go to buy drugs? Yes. And doughnuts. So I had a Boston Cream Ideologies Drugs classic. I had a chocolate donut. I ate them all at one time. Then I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning, my makeup artist. It's like your face is really puffy. I'm like, Yeah, Beccause donuts at 3:00 in the morning, I can't see my husband's out of town. You want some drugs in there? Herbs comes home and he he's like, How was your week? Oh, good. My week was good to Gregory and he's like, OK, well, I'm in a shower and I'm like, OK. He goes, turns water off in terms of water, and he comes, he sits on the under the bed and he goes, I have something to tell you, Oh, my whole self is like, Oh God. Anyway, long story short, we thought this was terrifying thing you've ever done. It was horrendous, and I just couldn't even breathe anyway. So I'm thinking like, it's over. We're divorced, like, I'm so confused. Anyway, he was like, Listen, I was in New York. I went to the strip club and I was with like other guys and everyone was doing it and I got a lap dance and I feel really guilty. So I'm like, Tell you right now? And I said, You know, I said, I'm so cool with this. I'm totally fine night. Just kidding. I cried for like a whole day and I was like, Oh my God, all the things that the girls told me are true. Like, I'm not sexy enough and I'm not hot enough. And now he's going to find another woman name like Bunny. I don't know what is the donut? Have to do this. I just knew in my gut that like, someone's shenanigans were going on carb, you know? Anyway, so here's the thing. So I ended up everything. Listen, here's what you want in a husband. You want someone that's going to come and say, Yo, some shenanigans happened. Like, It's cool. I love you. It wasn't like the shenanigans like champagne room shenanigans. Yes, like you probably got like a job. Oh, no, no, no. I don't think so. I don't think it probably was. Just I don't know what happened in a private room. No, no, no. And it's fine. It's fine, private. And then maybe you can do it. I used to work at one, so I'm just getting it in anyway. So the good thing is Bunny Kitty, Ambrosia, Ambrosia. Anyway, so I realize that I really am lucky Beccause I do have a good husband and I really do love him so much. But the best part this goes into my good week, which was like, that was really horrible and kind of like, Oh, in my heart. But then for my birthday, I woke up the next morning after this conversation, there was a card on the table and I opened the card and it was like the most beautiful card, like, you're my whole world. I love you so much. And then it had all these little spa services and he had made little check marks and he's like, I'm taking you for a spot on Saturday, check which one you want. And I was like, Oh, you cheated? No, no. I was like, I was like, Your shenanigans caused me to eat for donuts. I'm going after Tracy Anderson every day this week to fit into my Grammy dress. So I checked every single box except the Cairo therapy, Beccause that's just way too cold for me. So anyway, so you basically are taking your husband to the cleaners. You kind of. Yeah. Hey, that sounds good to me. Then it's fine. He went to the strip club. And yeah, it's kind of odd. Is it OK for guys to go to a strip club? 100 percent? Yeah. I think. Listen, but you know what? Here's the thing. You can let them go to the strip club when they're with, like their clothes and stuff. Yeah, but like you can tell if your husband or boyfriend is going to go into the champagne room, depending on what guy he's going to the strip club with. Yeah. So I will say, you know, it's a real thing like the champagne room and like some sexual acts being done. But I feel like when most guys go, especially your husband who's like so sweet, you know he's not going to do anything weird, like felt so bad for just being total record that he probably felt like grossed out. Yeah, for sure. I think it's totally fine. I mean, I would probably be like, Hey, can you give me a heads up if you're going, Yeah, Beccause then I'll send someone in disguise to like, videotape you 100 percent right away like glasses. But, you know, a heads up would have been nice, but but you know, it's it's fine. It's not like I'm just always torn between like, I'm not a regular wife. I'm a cool wife, but I'm not. I'm you're a total psycho. No, no, no. I don't care what your husband is a music manager. I mean, you have to be cool to hang out traveling with. Like some of the biggest artists in the world, it's that requires a lot of trust on your end, anyway. If you guys are wondering why, I guess I'm feeling puffy. It's the four donuts. Thanks, husband. When we come back more of our favorite good week. Bad weeks. This episode of LadyGang is brought to you by Zen Be plant fueled pasta. You guys have to try this. We have a code for you. We're so excited to offer our LadyGang listeners a special 20 percent off discount on your first purchase by going to Zen Beat.com/ Lady Z and B.com/ l a DIY for 20 percent off. I have been enjoying this Beccause it's made of yellow piece, so it's gluten free and it's honestly a great way to get your nutrition in. It's made with one ingredient whole yellow piece. It's packed with protein 17 grams per serving and it's non-GMO, dairy free and gluten free. So we're so excited to offer our LadyGang listeners a special 20 percent off discount on your first purchase by going to Zen beat Gqom slash lady that is Z n b.com/ l a DIY for 20 percent off. Terms and conditions apply. So these days, it seems like life forces us to be on all the time, but every now and then it's important to stop and reset. And that's when you reached for a Coors Light. It is mountain cold refreshment made to chill. There's only one beer out there that's literally made a chill, and that's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when the beer is cold. And that way, you know when it's time to chill, when you need to hit reset, just open a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment made to chill. We love that Coors Light is cold lager, cold filtered and cold packaged, and it's crisp and refreshing as the Colorado Rockies. I just love Coors Light. It takes me back to the days of just sitting in the sun. They're coming up there so soon we're going to be in the sun by the pool, drinking a crisp and refreshing Coors Light. So Coors Light is the one we choose when we need to unwind. So when you want to hit reset reach for the beer that's made to choke at Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to Coors Light Gqom Flash Lady. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company Golden Colorado LadyGang is brought to you by Progressive. So what's one thing you'd purchase with a little extra savings? 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Discounts vary and are not available in all states in situations. The Lady Gaga. So my life kind of revolves around food, I don't know if anybody has realized that, but my good week, my high of my week is I had a sandwich named after me. But you're famous. I'm I know I've made it when I had a sandwich named after me. Now, my friend opened up a deli in downtown called called Mel's Deli. Yeah, and he named a sandwich after me, called the Jac attack. And it is turkey, lettuce, tomato, avocado, mayonnaise and whatever and crushed up potato chips. Ooh. And I think it's it's going to be a banger. Now, did you have any part of the creation? Is this your sandwich? Yeah, I came up with this idea after I had about nine glasses of wine on Saturday night. I forgot that I came up with the idea. Yeah. And I woke up on Sunday morning realizing that I had a sandwich. Well, Jac, don't forget the little people know that you're such a big star. Well, I really feel like I'm one step closer to becoming Larry David, which is like my one goal in life. Oh my god, I love him. I do, too. Oh my God, he is my everything. Should we get him on the show? I would die. You'd be sitting on top. We can get his daughter and I'd be playing footsie with him. Well, it can't all the kind of freaks me out, but I don't know. I was in Georgia staying with my future sister in law and her family. And Zach and we went to visit and we were hanging out. It was really fun. They have this beautiful house. I get out of the shower and I am like drying my hair and I feel myself like, loosen up one of my earrings. But it's like not really a big deal. So then I go and I need to go to the bathroom. No. Two, of course I go number two and then I, I flush and I left, you know, some, some remnant. Yeah. And like her spotless bathroom and I'm like, Oh my God, I have to like, What do you know? What do you do? So anytime this happens, what I'll do is I'll flush the toilets really quickly and then scrape it out and then get it out with toilet paper like as little water that can possibly be in the bowl. So I like lean over and I'm inspecting, you know what I should do. Taking an evaluation, if you will. And I go to put my hair behind my ear and I hear, Oh, my earring in the toilet. Did it live in the water? A diamond earring in the water? And I was like, her diamonds come from the right pill. Yeah, or some do that. Essentially, it's like just carbon pressed together. But so soon after all of that snow. So I'm like, Oh my god. And then I sat there with myself and I was like, This is not my house, so I can't run out and get any kind of prop, any kind of like tool. It has to just happen right here in this moment. And it wasn't flushing down the toilet. I didn't. I had yet to flush it again, so it did not flow and I was sitting there like negotiating with myself. Like, how much did these earrings cost? And am I willing to flush it? So I was like, Absolutely not. So basically, what I'm doing is for $400, will you stick your hand in a poopy toilet? That was my no Allen. That was my number. And I was like, I guess I will. There I go and I go. I did it. How is it in your ear now? It's in my ear. It's disgusting. Have you gotten a reaction on your area? I haven't. Any remnants? No, no. My good week. We're on sex with Emily's podcast a couple of weeks ago. Yes. And every time we're on, she always gives us some goodies. Yes. And they're always amazing. And there is like a lube that I put on my lips accidentally once and then another loop that I accidentally put into my SodaStream. But anyways, she was this amazing. Is it a vibrator? It's a vibrator vibrator called the womanizer. It's advanced and this is not an ad, but I wish it would be Beccause it's the best thing I've ever used in my entire life. How does it work? So it has like air suction. It's like a suction and you put it on your clit. It vibrates and it sucks. It simulates oral sex. And so I would always say to people that have a hard time like giving themselves an orgasm, I'm like, Use a magic wand, Beccause if you don't orgasm from that, you're screwed, but you're dead, but you're literally a corpse. But the womanizer is like the it's the best thing I've ever done. It's great. It's amazing. I highly recommend it to everybody. So I haven't used mine yet. You got to. You need. I went away on a work trip and I left it under Chris's pillow as like a fun thing for when we got back, but we haven't seen each other again. I feel like maybe hard for somebody to use on you Beccause it's so specific. We can, like, hold it right. You do get it together. You hold it for you. We did both, but it worked better if I held it Beccause it's like very spot. Yeah, it's like you have to get it. There's there's a light that comes out of it that just points in your. The tourist, yeah, hold it on, it's so I help my mother in law's listening. Yeah, yeah. Amazing. Wow. Yay for our vagina. Yeah. Everybody should get my dad. Oh, gross. I just really feel listens to everyone. Sorry, dad. Hey, dad. It's OK, dad. I found mom's back massager many times growing up. You guys are a*****es. Yeah, we know both of you in your career and spa adventures on this podcast, but you met just for that. Yeah, you do. Well, we are. OK, so much. Over the last two years you've been like Korean spot that I went to the Korean Spa, you and your little Leia Michele posting photos about all of my terrible experience, the staph infection that go on in the shower. I'm sorry, I haven't exactly been afraid, but you made it sanitary, made it seem so interesting. And I was like, You know what? I'm going to go to Korean Spa Beccause I'm not the kind of person that would go to a Korean spa. I'm more of a covered up kind of gal. You know who they are in for a rude awakening? No, listen to this. So I got snowed in in New York City and I was like, You know what? There's an I do not have to work today. I'm going to go to the Korean Spa. So I sign up for the Korean Spa and I'm so excited and I'm like, Yes, yes, yes. And then I'm like, Oh, I'm going to be naked. I go naked. No one else in the entire. Where were you in New York? Oh, at Spa Palace. No one else in the entire Korean spa was naked. Yes, but here's how I found out. So I like tiptoe over and I'm like in the dip pool and I'm just like, live in the Jacuzzi life. I mean, if someone came over to you and tells you to put on a bathing suit? No, and I'm naked coed one. No, I was in girls. I'm like, OK, so I'm naked. And I was the only one in the area at that time, like other people. So then people start walking in, like it starts to get busier and there's like two friends and they take their towels off. They have a swimsuit on next to it. So literally like the four hot tub section and walk to the steam room, there's like, I would say, 10 to 12 girls there. Every single one of those b***hes is wearing a swimsuit. I got water and I. And I chose over there now, and I'm like, I had a meeting. But as naked Schneider with my bad tramp stamp over again, towel in all nakedness and every other single girl there at like some the room one pieces, it was not OK to say something. No, but I was like, I cannot believe the amount of rules being broken right now. It is unacceptable. I will say every Korean spot in L.A., you have to be naked in like you cannot wear a bathing suit. Also, while you know, they didn't give me a slipper. Yeah, they don't do that. Are no frills and we do have not a slipper. It's like a plastic surgeon couldn't bring your own flip-flops. No personal flip-flops. So you just have to get your leads. Yeah, I was just naked with no shoes on, and it was horrible. Anyway, I'm sorry. How did those girls make funny cases? Are you? Well, I was trying to look them in the eye and I was just like, just slither out of there, but feel like I just sort of had to sit and claimer before getting out. And then it's like, So my friends told me I needed to be naked anyway. Apologies if you have to see my pussy right now. You got my voluptuous vagina. No, it'd be more like, take a picture one last forever. You know, I will not last forever. Well, I hope you enjoy that as much as I did. Wow. It feels good to reminisce about all the good, the bad and the diarrhea. We will see you next week for a regular episode of Lady Gaga. Thanks for listening ! The Lady Gaga is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delamater and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate and review our podcast. And if you love it, share with your friends on social media like, Oh my god, I just listen. Lady Gaga. This upsets so great guy Bob to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do. Please follow us on Social at Keltie at back at Jac Vanek and at the LadyGang. Sign up for our newsletter at the Lady Inc.com and join our Secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday. This February on Pluto TV, we're putting the spotlight on iconic black tower. Watch your favorite movies like Top five, 48 hours and more than a Game and drop in to binge black TV classics like The Bernie Mac Show and Holy s**t, Pluto TV has hundreds of channels and thousands more movies and TV shows, all for free, so download the Pluto TV app on your favorite streaming device and start watching today. Pluto TV drop in. Watch Free.
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