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Stassi

Stassi is joined by her friend from New Orleans, Alex Stafford. Alex is encouraging Stassi and giving her tips on tidying up her apartment.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stassi
00:45:10 5/29/2024

Transcript

I am in the mood for a little rant. A little rant. Welcome. This is a solo ep. It's a solo episode because there's just, like, there's been some stuff on my mind. My TikTok algorithm, my Instagram algorithm, my, like, fully just, like, phone algorithm is very specific right now, and it's kind of, feeling like anti some female celebrities. I hate when that happens. You know when you're on TikTok and the like, some of the, like, the stars or celebrities are people you love the most, you accidentally the algorithm changes to, like, videos that are against them. And because you're so curious to be like, how could anyone not like this person? Then you watch it, and so then your TikTok thinks that you want more content like that. So then all of a sudden, like, you find yourself on anti Meghan Markle TikTok, and I'm like, I didn't wanna be here. It's not where I wanted to be. Anyway, I wasn't even, like, planning on talking about Meghan Markle, and I'm not talking about Meghan Markle. But before I talk about who I wanna talk about, why are we so f**king hard on people? Like, women in particular. Okay? Why are we so hard on women? Like, we always say, as women, like, we should have boundaries. We should stand up for ourselves. And then when we do, more often than not, we get torn down for it, especially with celebrities because that's who we see online. That's that's who we see on social media. We also tell women to go after their dreams. You know, we can accomplish anything a man can, that whole thing. But when they do, when they get a little too successful, when they do a little bit too much, we're all here ready to just get on our phones, start clicking away, and let them know that they're too old or that they're doing too much or that their s**t is trash. Just anything. Just tearing them down for doing too much or becoming too successful. And this isn't just, like, a celebrity thing. Like, think about it. In terms of, like, you know, your own life, if you're somebody who has boundaries and let me just say, I mean, you probably already know this unless you're a first timer listening to this podcast. But I am a huge boundaries girly. It's kind of like one of my favorite things. Boundaries are the key to my happiness. That's the key to safety, to my, you know, my family, my children's safety and and happiness. And it's just I cannot stress boundaries enough. Like, so when you have if you're someone in your life who also has boundaries with your like, say, for example, like a friend. You have a boundary with your friend. You know, more often than not, then your other friends start coming at you for, like, having that boundary. You know? So this isn't just about celebrities. This is it it's about everyone. It's about all of us. It's about women. Okay? Like, why is everyone being so hard on people for going after what they want or for having boundaries? This feels just like a really good spot to just plug my book. You Can't Have It All, you know, the basic b***h handbook to taking the pressure off. Okay? I write about all of this because I feel this on a regular basis. I watch my friends deal with this on a regular basis. I just see it everywhere. It's like, why are we putting all of this pressure on ourselves, and why are we putting this pressure on other women and tearing other women down? Everyone needs to read the book. Just, like, go get the book. It's out September 10th, and you can go pre order it, anywhere you can order things like Amazon, Barnes and Noble, whatever. Google it. Yeah. You know, I miss when the internet wasn't such a scary place and all we had to do was like take a selfie, Facetune it a bit, slide clairendon or whatever, and then post it. It didn't matter what our caption was. And then, you know, everyone just liked it or they wrote, like, cute or, like, you go girl or, like, queen. No. There's none of that anymore. The Internet is a dark, dark place. And I was just reminded of that yesterday because Chrissy Teigen put out this Instagram post. Let me just, like, bring it up. I just felt like it was really powerful. And like it I'm a fan of Chrissy Teigen. I know not everybody is. It doesn't matter what your thoughts are. This is just like what she wrote, I thought was powerful. So what she posted, she did this, like, log crossing thing a few years ago, which, like, you just, like, walk across a log up in the air. Doesn't sound fun. Like like, I just don't why? Like, why? I I don't know. It just, like, doesn't interest me. But she did it, and she talked about how it was so hard for her last time, but she was also going through a really dark time. And then she did it just now, again, And that she thought that it would be so much easier because she's not in this dark place anymore. But she wrote, so I'm like, I'm it's like a really long caption. Go look it up so I'm only gonna read the last part. She said, but I'm still so scared. Then I realized I now live my whole life so scared. I don't I don't enjoy much outside my family, my few friends, television, and crafts. I feel you. I feel you, girl. I feel like a very shrunken version of myself, and I know I am meant to be big. I'm really scared of letting you guys down, and I find myself fighting with myself all day in my brain with things I wanna say, things I want to explain, but I'm just so fearful. I miss so many parts of myself, and I hope one day I can shed some fear and accept that I will never be perfect for you guys, and that is okay. But for now, I will continue to work on it all and try to balance my brain, my with rational thoughts thoughts and try to be kind to myself and my body and mind, and I will always continue to ramble aimlessly in captions. First of all, I do not like a long caption, and I can't even believe I read this whole thing. Like, I when I see a long caption, I'm scrolling right through. Like, when I go to post things and I'll be like, god, it feels like I should, like, do a long caption here. And, like, I'll ask Lo, and Lo will be like, yeah. You should. You know, like, I like long captions. I think they're interesting. I'm like, no. Because, like, I I can't no. It's too much. If I wanna read a long caption, I'm gonna go to my Kindle and start a new book. Okay? But something came over me yesterday when I saw this post, and it's like some higher power, some spirit, or something was like, read the whole f**king caption, you dumb b***h, Stassie. Read the caption. So I read it, and I'm like, wow. That is kind of like hashtag brave to say. You know? Like, she feels like it's okay to say I'm meant to be big. I know I'm meant to be bigger than this, and why am I scared to be big? Why am I scared to, like, hide my shine or hide what makes me me? And I'm I just thought, you know, that could be picked apart so easily, and I immediately went to the comment section because, like, I wanted to see what people are saying. And everyone, for the most part, was just like, thank you so much for saying this. Thank you for being honest. Someone wrote, relatable AF. People love making women with big thoughts and opinions feel unsafe to share them. Honestly, refreshing to hear someone so big mimic my own exact thoughts. I know I meant to be so much bigger than this and all the accompanying harassment one receives from daring to be big when you know it's just a fraction of how much bigger you could be without the knowledge of those lurking to tear you down. Like right? Then someone else wrote, the Internet has made us all shells of who we are and want to be because everyone is held to their worst moments when the fact is people grow and evolve. And she goes on to explain that we feel like we have to overexplain everything so that people don't take our words out of context and make assumptions based on, like, what we said, and I'm like and it's exhausting. And it this is how it is for everyone. Like, this is just like the world we're living in, and it is so tiring that's and I feel this way that I like, sometimes I just don't even feel like posting something or putting some content out there because I'm like, do I feel like going through the motions of having it all picked apart? Do I feel like having a do I feel like adding that stress to my plate today? I'd rather just remain silent. But, like, that's not the answer. Like, when you that's not the answer to just, like, be afraid to, like, be and, like, be who you are and be your authentic self and say what you would authentically want to say. I just thought that was really important. So, like, shout out to Chrissy Teigen for inspiring this episode. That's how I got here. So let's talk about the 2 people that are just, like, being, like, fully just, like, dragged for no to for me, I feel like, for no reason. Let's start with Kelly Rowland first. So a video went viral of Kelly Rowland at the Cannes Cannes Cannes Film Festival on the red carpet, and it looked like she was snapping at one of the ushers, one of the people who are running the red carpet, this woman. And, she's, like, pointing her finger and all that. And I've watched this video so many times. Okay? So many times because I'm like, hold on. I I the way that people are coming for Kelly Rowland, it feels a little bit unfair, but, like, I want I wanna know. Okay? So then I saw that a lip reader did there's lip readers that did, like, videos about it. And so what Kelly says is don't talk to me like that. And at first, she's nice about it when she says don't talk to me like that. It's a very calm, don't talk to me like that. She's nice about it when she says, don't talk to me like that. It's a very calm, don't talk to me like that. Then the usher, the lady says something else, which we don't know what she's saying, and then Kelly gets does the whole finger pointing thing as, like, don't talk to me like that. And then she says, you're not my mother, and you don't talk to me like that. I'm not a child. Don't talk to me like that. It's the finger pointing that I think people are are all up in arms. Am I a finger pointer? Have I ever been a finger pointer when I yell at people? I don't think so. Okay. Because I don't wanna eat my words. Like, I know that, like, La la is a finger pointer when she yells, and, like, it scares me even. And I'm like, do I point my finger when I yell? I can't remember. Now I I feel like I don't because, like, I feel so scared by it. You talk with your hands, but I don't know if you point. Now I'm scared that, like, I'm gonna eat my words, and then all of a sudden this episode's gonna come out and someone's gonna deliver me a montage of all of the times I finger pointed and yelled at someone. Yeah. So I trust just, you know, a little self awareness. I don't know if I'm a finger pointer or not, but I know I'm affected by it. Okay? So I might be a hypocrite if I'm a finger pointer. Whatever. Okay? Whatever. Anyway. Okay. So that's what happened. Okay? That's what happened on the red carpet, and people were just saying, you know, she's a diva. She's awful. This is not how you treat people, especially because there's a power imbalance, you know, when you're dealing with, like, a celebrity and then somebody who's just ushering the celebrities on the red carpet. You know, people are just picking Kelly apart, and also just it didn't help that it was only, like, a couple months ago that she walked off the Today Show and never filmed because she had a bad dressing room. But I will say this. Okay? And I will defend her with this also. We have no idea what was negotiated for who to for her to go on the Today Show. Like, what if her agent had negotiated she has to have a, b, c, and d in her dressing room in order for her to go on the Today Show, and then they did not deliver. And then she said, well, you didn't hold up your end of the bargain, and I have a boundary with that. So no. Like, I'm not gonna let you treat me like this. No. Will I have to stand up for myself? No. So, like, I that's what I imagine went down on the Today Show. When I watched this video okay. Back to Con. When I watched this video, to me, it looked like they were rushing her. They were moving her along way too quickly. It was kind of giving maybe a more famous person was coming and they needed to like clear out the stairs or something. Because you know how like at the Met Gala, like when like Rihanna got there and the outfit, this wasn't this past year, it was like a few years ago, but like everyone said it looked like a pizza, like the cape or whatever. She was the only one on the stairs. Like, it was very clear that they'd, like, cleared everyone out so it could be just her. You know, sometimes, I guess, when you go to really cool events like that, you know, like, people do that. So that was the energy to me that it was giving. Also, this usher is just doing what she's told, so there's that. Like, she's obviously not the one making decisions. So, like, making the big decisions. Otherwise, she wouldn't be there ushering the people all along. Okay. So she's just following her orders, so she's just doing her job, and she was probably told, let's just say my theory is true, that, like, someone more famous was coming or whatever. So she's probably, like, when that person comes, make sure to, like, clear people out. I don't know. Giving this usher the benefit of the doubt even though I'm team Kelly on the situation or I just would like to not pick teams. We don't have to pick teams. We can see both sides. Maybe that's the point. We can see both sides. Okay? But what I think is, like, most important in this is that none of us know what the usher said to Kelly. Yet we're all so quick to be like, f**k, Kelly. She's a diva. Wait. Hold up. We don't know what was said to her. No one there there are no, like, video there's no video footage of what this person said to her. So for all the people who are are saying no one should speak like any like that to anyone. You know, Kelly shouldn't speak no one should speak like that to someone. Yes, they should when someone has said something f**ked up to you first. Like, hello? Yeah. Like, I'm not exactly, like, a full blown, like, turn the other cheek person, if you know what I mean. Like, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. And with that said, Kelly then just recently did an interview where she said, and I quote, okay, the woman knows what happened. I know what happened. I have a boundary and I stand by those boundaries and that is it. And there were other women who attended that carpet who did not quite look like me and they didn't get scolded or pushed off or told to get off. I stood my ground and she felt like she had to stand hers, but I stood my ground. Damn. That's that was a good statement. Like, I I read that and I was just like, wow. Okay. So, like, she stood up in this one very clean short statement. She is standing up for herself while also not making the other woman the bad guy. She said, she stood her ground and she felt like she had to stand hers. Like, okay. Like, there doesn't have to be a full blown villain in this situation. We're all just doing we're all just doing the best we can. And I just felt like that was just such an incredible statement to make. And you know what? You know how it is on red carpets? Like, where well, I guess not everyone's gonna know. I would never I I don't understand this level of red carpet, but I would imagine at con, so much money and time goes into this. Like, this is like the Met Gala of red carpets. So, like, not only are you spending the money on, like, glam flying there, like, travel, hotel, your team, making sure everything runs smoothly. Like, your your team has to come with you. Then you're working with a designer so that, like, the dress is, like, great. And your your job as a celebrity as her job, her mission is to get the shot, is to, like, get the photo. Otherwise, everyone who was working for this didn't get anything out of it. So if someone was, like, pushing Kelly along and Kelly realized, like, I'm not wait. You're you're standing in front of these photographers. Like, I'm not getting my shot. I haven't been able to, like, get a proper photo. Why are you rushing me? That means, like, Kelly would have failed her mission. Like, if she was double 0 7 and she had, like, double 0 7 had a mission to go and, like, assassinate some, like, bad guy, that means, like, he would have failed at that. It's, like, same thing. Her mission was to get the great photo for the designer, for her glam, for her team, for her agents, for her PR, for her manager, for herself, for the movie, whatever she was promoting, for all of it. So if someone's, like, not letting you do that, yeah, you're gonna you're gonna get a little testy. But in my opinion, I am, oh, saying you don't talk to me like that isn't that bad in this cope like, what? Why is everyone, like, all up in arms right now? So I'm, like, recording this podcast Friday because Monday is Memorial Day. So if new information comes out, that's gonna be, like, really annoying. You know, I'm gonna really wanna update. I'll I'll find a way to update this podcast. But I just felt like the whole point of the Kelly Rowland thing is is that she is, to me, like, a poster child for having boundaries and standing up for yourself. And more of us should be like her. But that would also require all of us collectively to allow each other to have those boundaries. Okay? Because why is it that when people have boundaries, like, people get, like, so up and armed up and arms. People get so offended, personal they they feel like it's a personal attack. Okay? Like, I firmly believe that you can choose what you want to accept and not accept in your own life. Like, to me, like, that is, like, my life philosophy. Like, if I don't want something in my life, I can choose that. I can choose not to be around that. I can choose not to be around this person or this person's energy or what. I can choose not to be treated poorly. Like, that's our our right. That is, like, our basic that's one of our basic human rights. Okay? Like, sleep and, like, having a place to pee and poop. Okay? Like, that goes along boundaries also. Same thing. Basic human rights. And if it's uncomfortable for someone when you have a boundary, that means that the boundary should probably definitely be there. Okay? It should that that's that's exactly why it should be there. Okay. But the because the thing about boundaries is that it is not about the other person. Like, it's about yourself. So, like, instead of, like, when people think, like, oh, you're trying to control me. Like, I think a lot of people think of boundaries as let's just say, for example, I have a boundary with somebody else. The other person is thinking that I'm saying, okay. You can't cross my line. I'm not saying you can't cross this line. I'm saying, if you decide to cross this line, then I have the right to walk away, and I will. So, like, the boundary isn't about what the other person is gonna do. It's what I'm gonna do when that person does the thing I say I don't want in my life. That's it. And if you're someone who's looking for boundary and spa, I suggest, putting Kelly Rowland on the top of your vision board. Okay. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. So whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place all on your own terms. I've talked to Lo at length about this, about Squarespace because Lo does my websites and anything that I have to do that's, like, website y, you know, like that that's her. And she's like, oh, I use Squarespace all the time. Like, you could use Squarespace. Like, it it's actually the easiest place to go and make a website. Like, if you're somebody who is starting a business or even if you're it's not about a business, you can make a wedding website on Squarespace. You can do, like, a resume, you know, website, a place to put your resume or, like, a portfolio for your photos that you just, like, wanna be public. It doesn't have to be just business. There are so many different reasons to create a website. I know it can be daunting to be like, well, how where do I even begin to start, like, to make a website? Like, you know, coding, who knows that tip? Remember when we used to code during Myspace? Crazy. How do we all collectively know how to do that? I don't know. Anyway, Squarespace makes it so easy because they have these flexible website templates just to start. This is just the starting point of Squarespace. Okay? So, basically, you can get one of their professional website templates, and they have designs for every category. And then you just customize your look and update content and add, you know, whatever features you want to fit your unique needs. So they make it so easy for you to start. But then after that, they have an online store. You can do video collection. They have email campaigns. They have blogging tools. So if you're wanting to blog, like, they have things to help you with that. Anything that you need in order to start your website, they have for you to use, and that's why Lowe says that it's, like, the best place to go for making a website. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to www. Squarespace.com/stasse to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go and start that website that you've always wanted to start. K? Just spend, like, a good few hours tomorrow morning. Squarespace, you guys. Moving on to my next lady that feel that needs defense. Like like J. Lo and Kelly Rowland have any f**king idea who I am. They did not ask for like, they're like, I am such a dumb b***h right now. But I just feel I I don't know. I, like, I just feel like I have to. J. Lo, I have been so ride or die for for like, since I was introduced to JLo. Like, there's never been a time that I I didn't like JLo. There have been times when I I root for her and, like, become a little more obsessed with her in, like, different eras of her life. But, like, for the most part, I can't ever think of a time where I'm like, I don't like you, JLo. Okay? Especially, oh my god, when she came out with the Super Bowl documentary. I know I've talked about this so many times, but it would to me, it was it was so inspiring. And I always think of J. Lo as just one of the most inspiring women. Because, again, like I said in the beginning, we are told as women that we can do anything, that we can, you know, accomplish just as much as men, that we can do it all. I mean, we can't have it all, but we can try to do it all, you know? JLo, Jennifer Lopez, is just like the perfect example of this. I was talking to Lo about Jennifer Lopez and she asked me, she was like, is there anyone, any man out there that's, like, comparable to Jennifer Lopez who, like, does the most the same way that she does the most? And we couldn't think of anyone. Like, not only is she okay. She does music. She dances. Like, she performs. She tours. She does movies. She does documentaries. She has, you know, different brand partnerships. She has her alcohol brand. She self funds a $20,000,000 passion project. She like started a website. Like, she just kind of just has her hand in am I missing something? She's a mom to twins. She's a mom to f**king twins. You know, is there a dude out there that's doing as much as Jennifer Lopez? I don't I don't know. I, like, I can't think of anyone right now. Very impressive. But JLo, I hate that I found myself in all these, like, anti Jennifer Lopez algorithm y things, okay, because love her. But what I'm seeing is just everyone turning on her for some reason. And I and it's to me, it it was like overnight. Because after the Super Bowl, if you were to say you were anti Jennifer Lopez, that's like you would have been cast out. Like, you would have been cast out. What's it called when you have to leave your country and you're not allowed to come back? Exile. Exile. Yes. You would have been exiled. Okay? It would be like saying, like it would be like someone right now saying that they don't like Taylor Swift. You'd be exiled. For real. Your full your own family would kick you out. You you would get kicked out of Wills. You know? You you can't you can't be anti Taylor Swift. That's how I feel it was back then during the Super Bowl time for Jennifer Lopez, especially when her documentary came out. Like, you couldn't be anti Jennifer Lopez because why would you? That's the point. It's like, why would you be anti Taylor Swift right now? There's she's doing quite literally nothing wrong, and she's doing everything right. Jennifer Lopez was doing everything right back then. You could not be anti her. And then all of a sudden, it feels like overnight, the discourse has changed. The conversation has changed. Every post that Jennifer Lopez posts on Instagram, I'll go to the comment section because I'm interested, I'm invested. And I just see people just s**tting on her, which I think it's like, it's kind of ageist because a lot of the comments are like, you're too old. You're too old for this. Like, get out of here. I'm like, oh, God. Hate that. Because, I'm hoping that, as a woman, I like, my fifties are gonna be like when I shine the brightest. So, like, don't do that. Don't comment that she's too old. But I tried to go back to to think, okay. Where did this come from? When did everyone start tearing her down? Because, also, did you see that Netflix just put up a billboard in Los Angeles that SimpliSafes, don't f with JLo. Bravo would never. Bravo would never. If I ever come back to TV, please let it be with a streamer or network that rides so hard for me that the second people start turning on me, they're like, we gotta put a billboard up ASAP to defend her, like, ASAP. I just felt like, wow, Netflix, way to have a backbone. Like, impressive, mad respect. Anyway, so when did JLo start having her flop era? That's what people are calling it, her flop era, which, mind you, I think is a good thing. I think people need flop eras because you can't always just be on top. You can't always just be super successful, super public, super out there at everything at all times. You need to fail a little bit. You need to take it back a little bit. You know, the best careers in life or the best stories are ones that, like, ebb and flow, highs and lows. No one wants to read a story where just, like, everyone win or the one person wins all the time. Flop errors are important because it gives you a chance to take a step back, relax, read my book, you can't have it all, enjoy some, like, chill time, maybe take a vacation, maybe pick up a hobby. You know, let the people miss you. Figure out who you are, what you value, what's important to you, what makes you happy. And then if you and then you get to be that person, and then you can work on being who you wanna be. Like, the flop era gives you the ability to take a step back and do some just, like, inner soul searching and, like, work towards being the person you wanna be. It's like, you know, this dumb saying, when one door closes, another one opens, which I don't understand because because who's opening the other f**king door? That's that one's never been explained to me, but it's it's kind of it's giving that. Okay? Like and if somebody needs to take a break and just chill the f**k out, that person is Jennifer Lopez because she is doing the most. Like, she should enjoy enjoy what you've built. You know? Jennifer Lopez, you didn't ask for it, but I'm granting you permission to chill if you want. Take a vacation. So here's where I think things started taking a turn. So there was all well, her movie came out that she self funded $20,000,000 This is Me Now, a love story. Did anyone watch this movie? Because I did, and I had so many mixed feelings about it. Okay? So the fact that this was $20,000,000, she spent her own money to make this. Like, this was like her passion project. She like, she tried to get it funded. No studios. Like, none of the students would take it. No one would take it. No one would pay for it. So she's like, I'm gonna do it myself. I respect that. Like, that's what a creative boss a*s b***h. Cool. $20,000,000 is a lot. I you know, to the out to everybody else, to us, you know, it's like, wow. Okay. You know, there are a lot of things, like, we can't afford, and, we're all suffering every lots of people are suffering right now. So to spend $20,000,000 on making your passion project, it it's it's might not be the right time for people to receive that. Okay? And when I did watch the movie, I'm like, this is f**king weird. I'm gonna be honest. This is this is it's like 4,000,000 music videos mixed with a rom com, mixed with a science fiction movie. I I I didn't under I didn't understand it, but, like, I I respected the artistry, I think. Because I'm just like, wow. Like, you really had to sometimes you wanna just be like a mad genius, and and any idea you have, just, like, throw it all out there and say, no, but it'll work. And then and you like, the mad genius, the wannabe mad genius inside of me appreciated it, but it was it it will never be a movie I watch again. And so, like, that says everything, I think. Do you think you would've respected it more if it wasn't self funded if we didn't know? That's an excellent question. Hold on. I'm gonna put myself in that mindset. Hold on. Possibly. Because it would have been a mind trick. To me, it would have said, oh, there are people who think this is a good idea. There are other people that think that this is a good idea and believe in it. This isn't just like one evil dictator who's like, no. But I know this is a good idea and that's it. Which, you know, sometimes you have to be the one to stand up for yourself and be the one to make your things happen. But I there's also something to be said for someone else's stamp of approval to be like, okay. Like, no. Other people thought this was a good idea as well. It would have been a mind trick. Mhmm. Does that make sense? And if it failed or however it did, it wasn't solely her fault. It wouldn't have solely been on her. Correct. Okay? But, you know, I will say that when I researched it after watching it, I wanted to see what everybody else is writing about it. There are a lot of great reviews. There were, like, reputable ones, like, of people saying it's kooky, it's wacky, but it's new and different, innovative. Like, so there were it was very I feel like it was very polarizing. Mhmm. The whole 20,000,000 of it all is just like oof. Yeah. Like the things that most we everyone could do with $20,000,000. You know, like, it's yes. So I think, like, that's when it started to shift. Then her documentary came out, like, a week after. Okay? And it was called the greatest love story never told. I think this is also a part of it. Okay. She's pushed her relationship so far down our throats, and it's like she's trying to convince us of it that it's like, okay. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. And this whole, like, this this movie and this documentary was supposed to be, like, kind of about her and Ben Affleck and her finding them back to each other and and her just the way that she loves herself and deals with love on her own, whatever. But this documentary, it like, while documentaries are supposed to, like, humanize the person that the documentary is about, it kind of did the opposite. There were so I I liked it. I enjoyed the documentary, and I'm like, wow. This is courageous to put out some of this because it's not really painting you in a flattering light. And and a lot of the time and but what's also great about documentaries, that's normally what humanizes people. And that's what makes you like them, to see their flaws, to see their shortcomings. But the shortcomings that she decided to show on her documentary were not it. Like, when she was asking about so on her movie, she hired, like, other celebrities to be in it. Okay. And I guess a lot of people had said no. And so she was, you know, talking with her manager or whoever's worked. I'm not sure what her role was. And they were going through the list of people, and she was like, Jennifer Coolidge. And she was like, she said no. She was listing off different celebrities, and the manager was like, she can't. She can't. And then she's like, Khloe Kardashian said she was supposed to say yes. And then, well, Khloe Kardashian pulled out. Then they said another guy, and he she said the manager said, oh, no. He can't. He's in a wedding. And J. Lo's like, what? Whose? As in like, he could he should be giving up and being in his friend's wedding to go and do J. Lo's movie. She was so put off that people would turn her down and had other things going on in their lives. And I'm like, that just we could have left that on the cutting room floor. Like, we could have it's it's a little out of touch. It's a little out of touch. And to just think that everyone that all the people that you want, that they should drop whatever it is they have going on to be there for you. So it was just like not the move. Then that whole, like, you know, thing went viral on TikTok with her documentary where she was like in her workout clothes and sitting there and, like, she took out her hair and it was, like, all curly. And she said, you know, this just, like, reminds me, you know, when I was just, like, in the growing up in the Bronx running up and down the block. And, like, everyone just tore that apart. Because they're like, if you say the block one more time, I I I can't. Like, all you talk about is running up and down the block. And, like, it's just feels like something that Jennifer Lopez says now to try and make herself relatable, whereas, like, we know that you're there isn't that connection anymore. You know? So that's where things started going downhill. Okay? Then she started a alcohol company. This was around the same time, yet she says she doesn't drink alcohol. So I already have an issue with people who start businesses that they themselves would not use. Like, why are you trying to sell me something? I see you Blake Lively. Like, don't sell me something, and I love Blake Lively too. I hate when it's the people that I love the most. I think that's why I'm talking about it. It's like, JLo, I love you the most. Like, I love you, Blake. Like, don't start an alcohol company, but then also brag about how you don't drink alcohol. Like, so what are it just doesn't it makes me feel like you're not actually passionate about this, and I want to buy into what people are passionate about. Like, I want to purchase something that the person selling it is f**king obsessed with it. Like, I convince me that this is true, that this is real. But, like, if you're selling something that you don't even yourself drink, like, how does that make sense? Make it make sense. So I think that was not a good look. Then she decided to go on a tour. Well, she released oh my god. I well, she released her music with the movie, and none of the singles, like, went anywhere. And so she decided to go on tour. Tickets weren't selling. She had to start canceling shows. Then she had to revamp the tour as a greatest hits tour, and it's still not selling well because this whole downfall of JLo thing is happening. Then the Met Gala viral the video goes viral. Okay? Of her go she hosted the Met Gala, and she's going up the stairs. And a reporter asks who she's wearing, and she looks over and seems really annoyed, rolls her eyes, and she's just like, it's Schiaparelli. Like, really dismissive. So, like, I think this is the moment where, like, in my soul, I realized I think Jennifer Lopez is going through a hard time, and I think everyone should calm down and ease up and give her some grace. Because then all I saw were more TikToks about how she was walking out of a hotel, like, a hotel the hotel double doors and, you know, she gave a mean look to the security guard. It's like videos of JLo being rude to people going viral all of a sudden because people have turned on her, and I think that it's all because she spent $20,000,000 on her own movie, and it trickled down into everything else. So now that, like, that happened, the whole Ben Affleck of it all, rumors everywhere that they're getting a divorce. There was a press conference for her new movie, Atlas. It's like, god, when did she have time when did she have time to shoot Atlas? You know, when did she have time? And someone asked her specifically about Ben Affleck, and she made a joke and then said, You know better than that. And then her co star jumped in and defended her and said, Come on, don't come in here with that. So like, she's had it. Okay? Everyone's on her about so much. Everyone's commenting on her Instagram posts, just s**tting on her, s**tting on her. Every article that I read, s**tting on her. Every TikTok, s**tting on her. How did we get here? I blame the $20,000,000 movie and hot take again. I blame Ben Affleck. That's right. I actually think that this all this is my conspiracy theory. This is why the public turned on her. Okay? This is all because of Ben Affleck. Because, visually, what we have seen of them together, the photos, the videos, the, like, paparazzi videos or them on the red carpet or them at a party or them even interacting in her documentary since they got back together years ago. Okay? We have not seen one crack of a f**king smile on that man. He literally always looks like an abused dog. And then you have J. Lo right next to him, and so, visually, what we're seeing is it looks like this man is not happy with this woman or, like, this woman is being hard on this man and making this man feel this way, when in fact, he always looks miserable. He looked miserable with Jennifer Garner. He looked miserable when he's alone. Okay? Like, this is a him thing, not a J. Lo thing. It's on him to make himself happy. Okay? It's not on her to make him un miserable. Yet when we see all this, visually, we can't help but just see the visual and then assume that that's what's going on. Like, we can't help it. So I blame Ben Affleck for not doing our girl, Jennifer Lopez, a solid and just smiling sometimes, just a little laugh, a chuckle, something. You know, he knows when he's on a red carpet or, like, at the Academy Awards. Remember that one time when, like, he just looked so f**king miserable? Well, it's like you you know where you are. You can't even, like, you can't even help her out, like, right now. Like, I understand, like, you can't be happy all the time. Like, when you're driving in your car, when you guys are going through the McDonald's f**king drive through or when you're crossing the street to get to your car, you're not always gonna be able to smile. But, like, there are moments when you can, and he chooses to never do it. He chooses he chooses violence every time. He chooses no. I'm gonna sit here and look miserable every time. And I think that has affected the way that everyone sees Jennifer Lopez. And then when she did this 20,000,000 passion project, people were like, no. And then it just trickled down into everything else. And it makes me sad because Jennifer Lopez is the goat. And as women, again, we're told we can, like, accomplish all the things, do whatever, you know, we can we can do what the men do. Yet when the women do it, the people turn on them at some point. But when are we ever turning on the men? When are we ever turning on them? Like, quite literally never. I'm waiting for everybody to turn on Taylor Swift because there's no way a woman can ride and fly this high for so long without everyone else all of the sudden just starting to, like, chip at her and, like, start bringing her down. It's just like I don't ever see a woman fly that high for too long. And I think that's what's happening to J. Lo, and I think it's unfair. And so, I'm here to say justice for J. Lo. I guess, like, I guess, like, that was my whole point. Like, it's actually the man's fault. It's Ben Affleck's fault and justice for JLo, and she's going through a hard time. So if she was, like, a little b***hy at the Met Gala or, like, she's giving some side eyes or is, like, just a little rude, maybe that's because everyone's out there giving her such a hard time, and she's just doing the best she can. Okay? Like, maybe if you guys commented on her photo, pretty, instead of, like, enough. We don't wanna see your stupid movie. You're too old. Take a break. Go spend time with your children. Just comment, cute girl, instead. Okay? Women supporting women, please. Please. With all that said, I think I should send Jennifer Lopez a copy of my book. You know? Because we can't we can't have it all. We try and we can't. And I think there's a what I wanna tell J. Lo is, like, there is a beauty and not and realizing that, like, you don't have to have it all and maybe having it all isn't actually, like, all that it's cracked up to be. Like, it's kind of a little stressful to just always trying to have it all. When you realize that, like, that's a facade, that's fake, it's a mirage, it's not real. This whole you can have it all thing, it's not real. You're then able to just, like, find joy, peace, happiness in your life. You're able to calm down. Your blood pressure, it lowers. Like, it's it's just a more beautiful way to live. And I just I just I realized that, so I wrote about it. And I think, you know, signed a copy to Jennifer Lopez. What can I say? That's what I got for you guys. Thanks for listening. Hope you agreed with everything I said. K? And if you wanna go preorder my book, you can do it. You Can't Have It All, available September 10th. Thanks for listening to me. Bye.

Past Episodes

Stassi sits down with Sarah Hoover to discuss her memoir, The Motherload which is Stassi?s absolute favourite. Sarah opens up about her experiences with postpartum depression, childbirth  trauma, and those first few years of motherhood when she felt completely disconnected from her baby. It?s a raw, relatable conversation that will make every mom feel seen and less alone. They dive into the messy, beautiful truths of motherhood, the identity shifts, the boring baby classes, and  the magical moments that make it all worth it. Plus, they swap spooky ghost stories (because why not?) and how they?ve found their groove as mom?s. This episode is like a cozy chat  with your besties?honest, empowering, and a reminder that you?re not alone in the wild ride of motherhood.

This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Caraway Home - Visit Carawayhome.com/STASSI10 for an additional 10% off your next purchase or use code Stassi10 at checkout. Boll and Branch - Get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at BollAndBranch.com/stassi. Quince - Go to Quince.com/stassi for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

01:21:38 2/12/2025

Stassi is spilling all the royal tea in this episode, and it?s all about the one and only Marie Antoinette! Joined by Even the Royals co-hosts Brooke Siffrin and Aricia Skidmore-Williams, they?re diving into the life of history?s most glamorous (and controversial) queen.

They?re breaking down the wildest rumors, the scandalous 18th-century tabloids (think TikTok drama channels), and the infamous Diamond Necklace Affair that helped topple the monarchy. Turns out, Marie was the original victim of cancel culture?hated for things she didn?t even do. Stassi opens up about her deep connection to Versailles, sharing why she?s so drawn to its opulence and drama. Together, they debate the highs and lows of royal life and tie it all together with a chat about Meghan Markle. 

This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Nutrafol - Get $10 off and free shipping at Nutrafol.com with code STASSI. Our pLace - Go to fromourplace.com and enter my code STASSI at checkout to receive 10% off sitewide. Lume -Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code Stassi at Lumedeodorant.com! #lumepod. RO - Go to RO.CO/STASSI to see if you qualify. Hiya - Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/STASSI.

01:09:46 2/5/2025

Stassi is joined by her sister Georgi for a fun-filled catch-up packed with laughs and sisterly banter. They dive into the age-old debate: who?s got it worse?middle kids or firstborns? (Hint: Stassi?s the firstborn and has opinions.) They also dish on Hartford?s Wicked-meets-Frozen birthday bash and chat about how parents today are upping their playground game to avoid mom-shaming. Stassi fangirls over Outlander?s latest time-travel twists, reminisces about rocking the Castlecore vibe before it was trendy, and wraps up with dreamy Jonathan Bailey moments. This episode is pure sisterly fun!

This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Thrive Causemetics - Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/STASSI. Rocket Money - Reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/STASSI . Cook Unity - Go to https://www.cookunity.com/STASSI for 50% off your first week. SKIMS - The Fits Everybody collection shop now at SKIMS.com and SKIMS stores. Liquid I.V. - Get 20% off your first order of Liquid I.V. when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code STASSI

01:11:54 1/29/2025

In the short but terrible time that we thought TikTok was gone, Stassi had some big realizations?like maybe high-stress situations aren?t her thing. Thankfully, TikTok survived, and now she?s joined by hysterical TikTok star Max Balegde! They spill royal tea, laugh about Max?s sweaty hands debacle, and swap stories about Disney conspiracy theories. From Samuel L. Jackson?s unrecorded interview to Max?s rise from viral videos to international TV, this episode is packed with hilarious moments and UK vibes. All thanks to the app that almost wasn?t!

This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Thrive Causemetics - Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/STASSI. Progressive - Find insurance options within your budget at Progressive.com . Chime - Learn more at chime.com/Stassi . Hiya - Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/STASSI. 

01:22:54 1/22/2025

Stassi and Beau share their deeply personal story of navigating the Los Angeles wildfires, where everything changed in an instant. As they struggled to manage their fear and panic?Stassi showing hers outwardly, Beau trying to stay calm?they worked together to prepare their kids and make the emotional decision to evacuate their beloved home before winds kicked back up this week.

They reflect on how losing a home, whether you?re a celebrity or not, is about so much more than walls?it?s about memories, safety, and love. They are both consumed with thoughts of those who have lost absolutely everything they have worked hard to build. It's unimaginable. If you feel inclined to donate, at the end of the episode, they share some organizations supporting wildfire victims that are making a big difference.

This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Thrive Causemetics - Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/STASSI. Progressive - Find insurance options within your budget at Progressive.com . Thrive Market - Head to ThriveMarket.com/stassi to get 30% off your first order, plus FREE $60 gift. Nutrafol - Get $10 off and free shipping at Nutrafol.com with code STASSI. Caraway - Visit Carawayhome.com/STASSI10 for an additional 10% off your next purchase or use code Stassi10 at checkout.

01:22:38 1/17/2025

Stassi and C-O-Lo are kicking off 2025 with some major New Year's energy! After a long break with her kids, she?s feeling emotional about Hartford growing up?especially now that her daughter lives in her Elphaba outfit and has her contemplating a Frozen-meets-Wicked birthday party mashup. Stassi is on a mission to find her word of the year, taking inspo from Meghan Markle?s resilience, and spilling on how she?s tackling social anxiety as part of her New Year's goals.  Plus, she?s narrowing down her signature scent and embracing her forever love for Castlecore (she was into it before it was trendy). New year, new magic, and all the energy focused on manifesting positivity!

This episode is sponsored by: Lume -Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code Stassi at Lumepodcast.com/Stassi ! #lumepod. OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. RO - Go to RO.CO/STASSI to see if your insurance covers GLP-1s?for free. Hiya - Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/STASSI. Our Place - Go to fromourplace.com and enter my code STASSI at checkout to receive 10% off sitewide. Progressive - Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.
 

01:14:18 1/8/2025

Stassi and her bestie Taylor Strecker are diving into holiday laughs and festive fun in this special Christmas Day episode. They kick things off dreaming up Jesus? signature cocktail (espresso martini or Prosecco?) and laughing about Stassi?s idea for a gallery-worthy painting of Jesus with his drink of choice?sorry, Beau! TikTok panic is real as Stassi preps for its possible farewell, and Taylor spills the tea on hosting Anna Delvey at her holiday party. From cheetah-print ornaments to Santa Barbara Christmas plans and toddler-level Santa logistics, it?s holiday magic, laughs, and plenty of inappropriate gifts. Cheers!

This episode is sponsored by: Nutrafol - Receive $10 off your first month?s subscription and free shipping. Go to Nutrafol.com use promo code STASSI. Lightbox Jewelry - Shop lab-grown diamonds at lightboxjewelry.com and get 10% off your first order with code STASSI10.

01:06:50 12/25/2024

Stassi and C-O-Lo are bringing the holiday cheer and a side of awkwardness in this festive episode! Stassi dives into her deep discomfort with opening gifts in front of people (can we normalize private gift-opening, please?) and shares her hilarious white elephant story, complete with sneaky gift-hiding. They chat about the lost art of thank-you cards, go-to holiday gift ideas, and the magic of Elf on the Shelf. Plus, Stassi vents about Beau hijacking her perfectly curated wrapping aesthetic, and they swap stories about revealing the big secret about Santa. It?s all things holiday, with laughs, relatable rants, and plenty of sparkle!

This episode is sponsored by:Quince - Go to Quince.com/stassi for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Hiya- Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/STASSI. Ro - Go to RO.CO/STASSI to find out if you?re covered for free. OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com for 15% off sitewide and enter promo code STASSI.

01:09:41 12/18/2024

Stassi?s back, and this time, Beau joins her for what?s basically a podcast date night. They kick things off with Stassi?s mysterious chin pain and dreams of a Mommy Makeover before diving into a hilarious game of questions. From social media icks like caption cringe and overused filters to conspiracies about secret celebrity tunnels with elite Starbucks, nothing?s off-limits. Stassi debates how she?d prove she?s from the future (witch or leader vibes?), and Beau dreams of a 1960s sports car while Stassi plans to splurge on Versailles antiques. It?s all fun, laughs, and a lot to talk about with these two!

This episode is sponsored by: Lume - Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code Stassi at Lumepodcast.com/Stassi! #lumepod. Better Help - This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/STASSI and get on your way to being your best self. Chime - Open your account in 2 minutes at chime.com/STASSI . Thrive Causemetics - Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/STASSI. Our Place - Go to fromourplace.com and enter my code STASSI at checkout to receive 10% off sitewide.

01:12:47 12/11/2024

Stassi kicks off December with her BFF Taylor Strecker for a hilarious chat that covers everything from Christmas chaos to internet trolls. Stassi shares her dream of escaping LA?s holiday monotony, and the duo swaps parenting stories, like Messer?s energy overload to Hartford tattling on bounce house kids, and Stassi hilariously ?tells on herself? as a self-proclaimed narc They dive into celebrity gossip, including Taylor?s viral Page Six moments, and dish on beauty trends like preventative facelifts. Add yin-yang twin dynamics, Stassi's awkward Moana premiere moment, and a little Lindsey Lohan glow-up admiration?it?s holiday overload!

This episode is sponsored by: Lightbox Jewelry - New customers get 10% off their first order on lightboxjewelry.com using the code STASSI10. Hiya- Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/STASSI. Nutrafol - Recieve $10 off any order! Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code STRAIGHTUPGIFT. Dreamland Baby - Go to dreamlandbabyco.com and use my code STASSI for the BUY ONE GET ONE FREE. Caraway - Visit Carawayhome.com/STASSI10 to take advantage of this limited-time offer for up to 20% off your next purchase. Thrive Market - Go to ThriveMarket.com/stassi for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

01:11:15 12/4/2024

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