Transcript
Dracara. Dracara. The dress. Welcome to straight up with Stasi with my OG, Christina Kelly. Hi. Round number 5 plus. So I haven't had Christina on in a while. It's been a good, I feel like, 4 months. I've been booked up. I've been so busy. Honestly, like Just so much s**t on me. Believe I made it here today. I've missed you. I have a bunch of questions. I felt like listen. People like or I read on my Facebook group when people are like, who are Stas who are our favorite guests of Stasi's on her podcast? Wait. I don't know about this Facebook group. Should I be joining this? Do you go on Facebook? Send me a link. Yeah. Do you go on Facebook? Yeah. To see, like I do it to relatives. I I do it to stalk people in high school who I'm never gonna talk to again. Yeah. Like I have a few of those. I have a few of those. That. Like, sometimes I'll just, like if I'm bored at night and done googling Meghan Markle or whatever s**t I like to Google, it's like I'm like, okay. Let's think of a random person I went to high school with, type in their name, stalk them, then click on another one through their page. Yeah. Just stalk the s**t. There's probably, like, a good 11 people Yeah. That have been rotated that I stalk, and it's just fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. I do the same thing. That's basically what Facebook is for. I I'll go on it. Okay. So I'll I'll send you Especially for that. I'll send you Wait. Are people saying nice things? Yeah. People love you. Okay. And they're just like I just like hearing them talk because they're best friends. So it's like, I just Oh, okay. So I do have a lot of questions that I got from my listeners just mainly in terms of dating and relationships and stuff, and we can just talk about them. Okay. But before that, you Me? I'm proud of you. You are? Yeah. You guys. What happened? So if you know who Christina Kelly is or you've listened to this podcast, you know that Christina owns her own company, a Heartspring, where she makes all of her all natural lip balms, face sprays, and a body scrub, and it's so good for your skin. It's so good for you. She literally quit all of her other jobs to just start this company, and now you're just doing this. And it's so amazing. But I'm extra proud of you because you finally f**king listened to me. I have been asking her for years When I when I first started the lip balm, if you ask for years to do a tinted lip balm because this is the thing. There is this lip balm that Burt's Bees does. It's like red dahlia or some s**t, and I love the color of it, but it dries out my lips so much. So, like, if I want some color, it's like the only one where, like, the shade is is cute, but, like, I'm literally just, like, ripping the skin off of my lips all day long. And so I gave her my Burt's Bees color once, and I was like, make this. Make this color. And she has now just made one called tinted rose, and it is literally the exact same color as the one that I use. So I can throw out all my Burt's Bees and only use this. Because I just like to what I like to do is just line my lips with lip liner. Like, I'll use Whirl a lot Yeah. From MAC, or I'll use, like, Edward Bess, like, and Like a nice natural A natural color. Yeah. That matches. Yeah. That blends in. Yeah. And then I'll just put ChapStick over it because I don't like really the feeling of gloss. I don't like the feeling of lipstick. I just it's just too much. Well, this also looks more it makes it look really natural. Like, you just Yeah. It just looks like I have Yeah. Cool, full, plump lips. And so now all I'm gonna do, line my lips, put this on Yeah. And I won't have the Burt's Bees chopped lips anymore. I do the same exact thing. I'll put on, like, a small liner, and then I put that over top of it now. And I'm really happy with the color. I'm so glad you like it. I love it. And I think that you should go I think you that you should just start doing lots of different colors. I think it's gonna be a good one for me because the lip balm was obviously my first product I came out with and was so proud of it. And, man, it was it just did so well. And now I'm like, okay. It's basically that, but with a tint. Who wouldn't want that? It's like this buttery, soft with a little tint of, like, a red it makes it your lips look like they just Like, you just had sex. Or the ex or the or that. It's like you just had sex. You know, after you just have sex and you look in the mirror? Yeah. I'm like, oh, I look great. This is what I looked like during this. Cool. Fantastic. That's what it looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm so happy that you love it. And you're selling these right now? Yeah. They're so they just came out. I've I've been it's I wasn't sure if you were selling them. Yeah. They're you can you can buy them now at heart spring, heartspring.co or my Instagram that has links and everything at heartspring.co. But, yeah, it's now it's now ready to buy, but it keeps selling out. And I've been trying, guys, to keep I'm working hard for you. So You need to hire an assistant. I know, but it does. My products keep selling out. So I love you guys for supporting me, but you're yeah. I'm working really hard. So I will make sure You could maybe be the next Kylie Jenner and sell it and make a $1,000,000,000, and then I'm gonna be coming to you for money. Be like, I don't feel like doing Vanscom rolls anymore. Take care of me. It's been the plan all along. Could you imagine? That's like goals. That's like real like, goals is to make a product that's so good that you can just sell it and then live in your compound for the rest of your life and never leave. Yeah. I'm trying. I'm I'm getting there. I'm getting there. So Well, you know what? I have a question for you because a lot of people ask me this. Yeah. And I think you'd honestly be better to answer this. So many people, they have their normal jobs that they do. Right. Like, their normal careers or things that they either went to school for or something like that. And then they get to a point in their lives where they realize, like, I'm actually not passionate about this. Like, there's something else. Like, I wanna start this company, or I wanna start this blog or this podcast, or, like, I want to do that, but I don't it's like, I don't know how. And, also, it's like, how do you balance the time between because there was a lot of there was a a long time when you were still working and doing this on the side. Like, it doesn't just happen overnight. You can't just, like, quit your job, start a business, and hope that it works. Yeah. Absolutely not. And so it's like, what would you like, if some if someone was asking you, like, saying, hey. I wanna start doing this. It's like, do you have any advice for that? Like, because lots of people wanna start doing something else. And I feel like my advice to people is always, like, just make it a hobby at first. Yeah. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah. A 100%. Do not quit your day job until you can fully support yourself and then some. Yeah. But a lot of times, for years, I everything I was making off of Heartspring so I was working at SIR, and then everything I made off Heartspring, I was putting back into the company. Yeah. So I didn't feel comfortable leaving SIR until about it's been, like, a year and a half. So how long how long did it take you when you first started making it and selling it to when you quit SIR? And you were modeling too. So, like, I did have a I did have a lot of side I did have a lot of, like, side hustles. Yeah. But you have to in LA, as you know. There's like it's so expensive to live here, but it took years. I mean, how long was that that I it took years. Trying to remember exactly when you started selling. I mean and I also wasn't again, the problem is, though, is that it does get in the way of pushing yourself. So if you have a backup, like, I always knew I had SIR or modeling or other little gigs that would not push me with Heartspring, and I knew that. So as soon as I quit, sir, I sort of did go into this mode of, like, I have to do this has to do well. Like, I need to pay my rent. But you also you can't just do that right away. No. It takes I mean, it took, I wanna say, like, maybe 3 years. That's I think that's something that people need to, like, hear and know. Yeah. But that also was me that was I in a very slow I mean, I took forever to have products come out because I was so obsessed with making sure they were perfect. Yeah. So I was always putting so I mean, it took, like, a year for every project. I mean, look at this tinted lip balm. Took for a f**king year. Long were you, like, when are you doing that? When are you doing that? I didn't think you were doing that. Also have. I'm like such a Virgo. It's like I'm a perfectionist. So if something's gonna come out, it better be good. Like, it better be the best thing you've ever had because I don't wanna put my name on something that people are like, no. This is s**t. Trash. Yeah. So I if you don't do it that way, it could you could things could happen quicker if you're just sort of pumping things out. But, Google was a big friend of mine. I mean, you literally look up, like, where to find certain supplies, how to get, you know You literally Googled that? Well, like I can't Google anything. I'm a terrible Googler. There was one time that I had a bunch of orders, and I ran out of lip balm tubes, and I needed them, like, that day. I had, like, a huge order that needed to be out that morning, and I was freaking out. I don't know would you know if someone else was like right. So I went online, and I googled where, like, in LA can I buy you know, it was a lot of lip balm tubes? Like, I think I needed, like, 500 or something, like a big bulk of them. And I found a place downtown that had, lo and behold, every kind of container you could think of, every spray container, every jar, every it was like a jar glass company, the whole entire place. Okay. Yeah. But so so if you look up things, research it, there's so much on the Internet that you can learn from. God. I'm really I am bad at Google. I try and find things out, and I just, like, I type in the wrong thing. Like, Beau will look at me and be like, hey. Can you Google that? And I'll Google it. He's like, that's what you typed in? Don't you ever no. I guess you're good. Googled something before this, well, our conversation. I did, but I can't remember what it was. Even Google that. You just Googled that. I didn't even think to Google that yet. What that was? Amazon sellers. I but I couldn't I couldn't find I couldn't find any answers. You the first thing you said was let's look this up. So you do do it? Okay. Yeah. No. I do use Google. I just feel like I can never find answers, which is what I just you just proved to be right. But I don't have to spell something. I Google it, and the right spelling will come up. So do I. Do you know how many times I use thesaurus.com during the day? Millions. Yeah. So I'm just saying a lot the Internet. That's what's so great, though, about, like, even Instagram. Like, I've I I would follow all these, like, companies I was obsessed with, and I would they would post to, like, the process of what they do and packaging and I don't know. Just everything's online these days, which is such a cool thing that we have that. I know. It's like Well, I always think what did they do before? What did they do? What did they do? How did people drive how did people drive their cars places? Like, when you had a business meeting I remember this. Where did you use your map? Yes. I printed out MapQuest. Oh, I used to do yeah. You're right. What what did people then do before MapQuest? Literal maps? Yeah. They would they would have to know. Like We at least started driving when MapQuest was a thing. We don't know what it's like to drive even without printing out MapQuest. Like, imagine going on an audition or a meeting or meeting someone for f**king dinner, and you've just never been to that restaurant. You had to open up a map. Like, that's wild. I'm still thinking of me printing out, like, 4 pages of MapQuest and driving and, like, flipping the pages and, like Yeah. That's weird too. I mean, like, turn okay. Turn right in okay. Like, looking on a piece of paper that I printed out. Yeah. I don't know. I wouldn't drive. I I wouldn't go anywhere. Times must have been really tough. You would have such good excuses, like, legit, like, sorry I got lost. Yes. Like You know what? I was born too late. I wish that I was born back in the day. Oh my god. When we didn't have phones and people had to, like, f**king send a carrier person to just, like, send a letter or something, people yell at me for not texting them back. I'd be like, I didn't get your letter. Oh, that would be good. That would it would be amazing. I did write you back. I wrote you a 4 page letter back. You didn't get it? I'm like, fair enough. The person would be like, okay. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Yeah. Oh, do I love Liquid IV. Oh my gosh. Liquid IV's hydration multiplier. I have been using this forever. Beau has been using this forever because we don't get hydrated enough. Think about it. When you use one of the packets of Liquid IV and they're so small, like, you can put them in a clutch. I keep them everywhere. You put it in a bottle of water, and it's the equivalent of drinking 2 to 3 bottles of water. So whether you're someone who works out all the time or you're on a plane and you have jet lag or, I don't know, if you're hungover like me, then it is the absolute best. Beau actually likes to make c**ktails with his Liquid IV because he feels like he's hydrating while he's dehydrating. They have a bunch of different flavors to choose from. It's awesome. It helps fight fatigue without the crash. It's all great. They also have a new one. Let me just tell you this. It's an energy multiplier. So for people who are a little like, caffeine, caffeine, it makes me feel weird. This is perfect for you. It's a great replacement for your morning coffee, a great alternative to processed energy drinks. And right now, get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Stasi at checkout. That's 25% off anything you order on Liquid IV's website. So just go to liquid iv.com and enter promo code Stasse to save 25% and get better hydration and energy. That's liquidiv.com, promo code Stasse. Don't wait. Start fueling your adventures today. I love what I do, and I I love to the creative side of it and branding and coming up with ideas and packaging and my Instagram. I love my heartspring Instagram and for talking to me. Thank you. It really is. I wanna give off that, like, calming vibe. You know? I don't want any of my products to smell like bubblegum. You know? I want them to smell like a refreshing spa or something that's gonna just, like, want you to just relax and lay down. Saying that, if you keep the sprays in the fridge and spray them, it's a good pick me up. It's like, let's go. Let's go. Oh, you do have one in the fridge. b***h. Well done. I have 2 in here, actually. Have heartspring everywhere. I know. Because I have and I found so many as I've been packing at my apartment, I found so much more because how many layers has it been? No. I'm just staying. In different spots. Same. So I found so many of them that I was like, f**k. I'm gonna need, like, just an extra pouch Yeah. Like, like, something. Do you have the scrub? Because I brought you a scrub too. I will take another one. My little tip with the scrub is to exfoliate your body or your legs. Mainly, I exfoliate my legs. And then You know what? Shave. Oh, really? And your legs will feel like butter. Okay. It's like a secret. Because you know how sometimes with After you so it's like after my when my spray tan's wearing off. Scrub. Yeah. And then shave. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. But it's because because sometimes after you shave, do you know how even when you, like you'll use a really nice shaving cream and then you'll a really nice shaver, and then you get out and you're like, why do I still have, like it doesn't feel smooth. Yeah. And it feels dry or just like dead skin. You need to scrub off the dead skin, then shave, and you'll get out of the shower. I'm I'm not kidding. Your legs will feel the smoothest they've ever felt. That's, like, my little pro tip for that. Do you know who's talking about this the other day? And I'm literally not joking. This like, I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass, but we were in Utah. Last meet, Katie, Britney, and La la last month, and I literally came upstairs. And Katie and La la were talking about your scrub and how much they loved it without me even being there. So, like, I was downstairs, and I walked upstairs. And I was like, oh my god. I wish I could have recorded this conversation for her. That's so sweet. That's so funny because, who was one of my friends somebody was oh, it was Tracy was doing her hair, and she was like, oh my god. La la could not stop talking about your scrub. Yeah. Like, that's so sweet. Mhmm. Yeah. It's it's a it's a great sounded like Rose Byrne in bridesmaids just now. Too much bridesmaids? Have you ever seen bridesmaids? Who you know Rose Byrne? That would be bad if I've never seen bridesmaids. Oh, so sweet. Oh, you're poor. Oh, La la, you're poor. Oh, La la, you're poor. Where is my scrub? Anyway, definitely do that, though. Your legs will feel insane. So yeah. Okay. Very proud of you, Christina. Thank you. I have some relationship questions from my listeners so we can just listen. I am not a f**king expert at all. I actually don't know s**t about dating and relationships now that I think about it. I mean, do you even you've been in a 10 year relationship, so, like, how much could you possibly know? So much. But not about about relationships, but about dating? No. I don't know much about dating. Like, my this first question that I see, I don't think that we're gonna be able to answer. Okay. Let's go. Melanie w is like, how many dates does it take to know if it could actually work out? No f**king idea. I actually think a lot of dates because everyone that I've been in serious relationships with that I, like, just got into a relationship immediately after the first couple of dates ended up being horrible partners for me. See, I disagree. Like, it took Beau and I a while. I think that you know right away. I think yeah. I think that with Jax, Frank, and Patrick. You had just bad bad taste. So you just have to trust that you have right away because you that was your type. Cool. But it it's true. I don't know, though. I I didn't know right away with Beau. I didn't know. I was just like, okay. We're just having fun. It is what it is. I think this guy is interesting and hot and funny. But Beau was a little bit different than your normal type. So that's what made you, I think, question it. It's it's what you needed. It's it's exactly what I've always wanted for you, but you just had this, like you almost went for guys that how do I just say this politely? Or dicks? You know? And I feel like Beau probably, like, threw you because you were like, wait. He's funny. He's cute. He's supportive. Like, what? Yeah. So I think that's what threw you. But I think that you usually kind of know right away if you have chemistry with somebody. Chemistry is different than knowing that someone's good for you. I'm pretty sure I had chemistry with all of my ex boyfriends. Like I can be on a date with a guy the first date, and if he just says kind of one weird red flag thing, I would be like, oh, this isn't gonna work out. I, like, have always ignored all the red flags. That's what I'm trying to say. It's your first date. There's probably if I was a fly on the wall on one of your first dates with your ex boyfriends, I would be like, red flag, red flag. Get out. Get out now. Get out now. And you would be like, this guy is so cute. He probably like they all gonna move in with him tomorrow. Yes. Literally. Should we start looking at apartments tonight? Yes. That's exact like, he'd like, all my ex boyfriends probably just sat me down. A red flag is a guy who wants to move in with you right away. I think. That is a really good point. But then is it a red flag about me too, or was it a red flag out on the girl too? Well no. See, we always kind of right away are like, I love you. Let's move in. It's we almost need to pick a guy who sort of is like, let's do this the healthy way. Beau always says steps. I hate when now it's an inside joke. Steps. Now it's an inside joke. So if he says the word steps, he'll just look at me and laugh. And I'm like, oh my god. If I hear steps one more time he's like, steps, like, enjoy moving in together and then enjoy getting engaged or whatever comes first. That's what Max would say. Let's just enjoy what we have right now. Like, f**k the steps, bro. You know what, though? It's healthy. The steps are healthy. I agree because then I'm enjoy you really are getting to know someone in such a different way with each step. It's like Yes. Giving each other a key to your apartment. That's such an exciting time just to have that. Yeah. Then, like, saying I love you, then enjoying that moment Yeah. Of when that first starts happening. The moments where you first start talking about the future, that's so exciting. Then moving in together or getting engaged or whatever the f**k the next step is. Like, those are such specific moments that you learn so much about each other that it's like, oh my god. I skated all of all like, I skated over all of that in all my previous relationships. Yep. Yeah. So, I mean, I guess it could go, but that's a hard question. I know. I see. Because it's like, I think right away, you sort of know. But you have to be confident in yourself too to, like, know what you want going into a date. And then if a guy is not responding well to questions or just in general his vibe, I feel like it's like, get out. Don't waste time. But I think it's also hard to, like you have to recognize if you are somebody who chooses incorrectly. Like, that took me a really long time to learn. Yeah. You know? Like, how do you even teach somebody that they're choosing incorrectly? Here's the thing. I think, Melanie Melanie. Melanie, I think that I don't know if we can give you an a number. We're not just busy today. There isn't a number. But if you come home from that date and you're like, I really had a good time, and I liked him. I don't know him. I just met him. We went on one date, but I think I wanna get to know him more. And you go on another date. Right? And I feel like if you keep coming home and you're like, I wanna get to know him more and more and more, then I feel like it's a no brainer. Right? You're just but if you come home and you're, like, questioning little things, like, I don't know. He kinda did this weird this or that. It's like maybe go on 1 or 2 more dates just to, like, validate those weird things or the red flags. And if it furthermore does, like, okay. Yeah. This guy's a little weird or this guy's not into the same thing as me. This guy doesn't respond to my f**king text messages. I sent him 79 last night, and I haven't heard a word. Oh, man. Dating sucks. I that I said that Max was my boyfriend before he was my boyfriend. No. You guys used to call each other Valentine. Oh, no. But I'm saying oh, that was him. Those were steps, Stasi. Those were part of his steps, and he he wanted to enjoy because we met around Valentine's Day. He wanted to enjoy that. Yeah. That's cute. What do you mean? You called me? Did for, like, a year. Literally a year. So this is my Valentine. And then he called me his girlfriend. No. I do think taking things slow and enjoying all of those is really, really healthy. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Okay. Hannah w, I've been hooking up with this guy for a while. We've been really close friends for a long time, risky, and we've been hooking up the past few months. I don't know where it's going, and I don't wanna just keep hooking up casually. How do I ask him where this is going? God. It sucks. It sucks. You would think that if you're really good friends first and then the line is crossed and you get sexual, then it means, like, you're gonna have a boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah. Because it's like we know that we get along and like each other, and now now we know that the sexual part is all that's been lacking. So now it's like a no brainer that you guys are together, that you wanna be together. Yeah. But then you guys if you guys are friends, I feel like you should be able to just ask him and talk about that. Maybe this is just a drunken hookup thing that happened. Say a few times? She says we've been hooking up the past few months. Oh, see. But is it always when you're wasted and you guys are out at a bar and then, like, he just comes out, do you sleep over at his house? Does he sleep over at yours, or is it, like, hook up and get out? Like, there are so many different factors that go into that. Well, if it's hook up and get out, then I think that's obvious that it's not gonna be a thing. But if it's like they went out to dinner and had a fun night and came home and Yeah. You know, hooked up, then I feel like, yeah, just I think just ask. Just I if I could talk back to my old cell, like, years years, just say it. Just say how you feel. Just what's that what's it gonna do? I mean, you guys are already hooking up. It's not like it's gonna ruin your friendship. You're already hooking up. Yeah. And I feel like the not knowing is worse than the no. Just the wondering to me is, like, worse than somebody turning me down. I'd honestly rather just be turned down and, like, have to get over it. Get over it. Yeah. I think it's just do it lightheartedly. Don't, like, sit them down and be like, what is this? What are we doing? Just say say it in a way where it's like April. No. Like, yeah. Like What's going on here? Like, what are we doing? Like, I'm having fun, but, like, what are we doing? Like, don't make it seem like you're pressuring or that you need to know or that you don't wanna keep doing it. Just be super cash about it. That's so much easier said than done. It's so much easier said than done. I know. You have not been in the dating game for a while. You don't even know what it's like to use dating apps, Christina. It's scary out there. It's so scary out there. I have never swiped right. You don't have you ever looked on your friend's apps? Kind of. I yeah. Raya? I looked on there's, like, a song that plays in the background. Yeah. They kicked me off twice. Remember? Oh, right. Right. Yeah. I I looked on one of my friends. You know what's a new one? It's actually one of my sponsors, but it's really fun. I've used this for one of my friends. It's it is literally one of my sponsors. I'm not getting into the breed right now, but I'm gonna tell you about it. It's called Ship. And so what Oh, I've heard it. I listen to your podcast. Okay. So it's really f**king fun where you could look for your friends. Yes. I wonder if you could have it in is it in Austin? Because we should get, Kelly on that. It's everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. It's That would be kinda fun. Because that's what you do on apps. You just want you wanna like, you screenshot s**t, send it to your friends. Yeah. Screenshot something. You'd be like, how should I respond to this? What do you think of this dude's profile? All of that crap. Ew. Remember making a profile? It's like, no. You've never done this. I wrote like, you never know. Space or because I remember making a profile. Oh, okay. I like this question from Lauren p. How to deal with everyone and their dog, not or actually dogs. I mean, like, everyone and their mother. Do you know what I mean by that? Like, their pet? No. Just okay. How would that actually would have been a good question, though. How to deal with everyone? I'm just gonna leave it at everyone. On social media, reaching these life goals, getting engaged, getting married, having children, etcetera, affect your relationship, like, to the point where you feel like you may not be where you should be or on the same page? Lauren, I Same with you. I that's a great one. And I I actually I can talk about that. Talk about it. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We got obviously together young because I'm still so young. You know? And we are not married. We don't have children, and it's really difficult because I feel so much pressure when I tell people this. They look at me like, what's wrong? And that's so sad that social media and just tradition in general has done that, where it's like, well, nothing's wrong. What makes you think because we're not married, something's wrong? Like, no offense, but you've been married for 5 years, and I probably have a healthier relationship than you do. You know? Like, what's just because we don't have a piece of paper, like, we're committed. We live together. I love him. Well, it's not even just that because there are people who, okay, their boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't want to move in, and then you, like, see everyone else taking these steps. Social media sucks for that. I it's also not real because what happens is those people are posting these lovey dovey, and it's like, yeah. Okay. They're moving in together, and they just bought a house, and they're getting married, and they have the cutest little baby. But, like, what's really going on behind those, like, doors? You know? So you're saying that my posts are fake? Okay, guys. 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Go to grove.c0/stasse to get this exclusive sustainable swaps offer. Grove.c0/stasse. I think of this in terms of, like, I don't get relationship, insecurity when I go on about it. Like, I'm not seeing obviously, because I'm engaged, so then it's, like, it's there. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I feel this way when I look online at, like, people's businesses or, like, people traveling or what people are wearing. And I'm just saying with, like, other people's podcasts? I mean, I don't really follow podcasts on Instagram. Or not on Instagram, but I'm saying in general, when you know about other people's podcasts and, like, guests that they've had or, like, maybe something they're doing that you're not, do you ever feel like, oh, man. Yeah. I feel like I could be doing more. Like, I feel like, oh, I could be working more. I could be hustling more. I should be doing this. I should be better at that. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. But it's like, I'm I don't I'm spread too thin. Yeah. But I get that insecurity. Or, like, if I see, like, okay. Like, oh, this one's tough. And I know Taylor Strecker gets insecure about this too. Not to call her out, but I am. When she sees, like, funny influencers, like people who either have podcasts or talk shows or funny Instagrams or that like, that's their brand. Taylor is always like, they're so much funnier than me. I hate that like, I hate their Instagram, but, you know, she secretly loves it. But, like, she says that, and I'm like, I feel that way sometimes too. I'm like, I'm not entertaining enough or I'm not funny enough. My caption's not good enough. Oh my god. I'm feeling I'm so f**king boring. I haven't posted in this long, and, look, this person is just funny 247. I get really insecure about that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean, what was the actual question, though? Because I Well, it's like how do how Is it how do we deal with that? How so how to keep it from, like, affecting your relationship? Because there were times, like and it wasn't because I saw it on social media, but before Bo and I got engaged, it's like we weren't living together. Weren't engaged. I know that you guys got that a lot. You got the, like, how like, you guys aren't living together, and you would have to kinda justify, like, we like having ours, like, we like having separate spaces, but we're always together, but it's not like And he's my neighbor. But it also just again, that it just put why do you have to like, why is that I don't know. It's it's tradition. It's what's been instilled in us over and over and over, and that's what's normal. Yeah. So anything different is gonna make people feel like, oh, they must not be they must you know, that's that's gonna be hard when they move in together. Like, what it's just like, no. Well, I think it's also figuring out what it is that you personally want. Like, in my next book right now, I'm working on a chapter about having it all because I hate that phrase. Oh my god. Can you have it all? Can she have it all? I'm like, why is that even a question that people ask? Like, no one asks dudes that. And so what I'm trying to write about a little bit is just that, like, well, everyone's version of having it all is different. Like, there are a lot of girls I know that don't want kids. Yeah. So they that's not their having at all. You know? There are a lot of people who don't wanna own a home, and they wanna be able to travel all the time. Gosh. I don't even know what having it all look would be. I don't even know what It's different for everyone. Right? But I don't know. I don't know what you in your head, are you like, I know what it would be like. Yeah. I mean, I don't like that term, so I'm trying not to. But, like, I Because in my head, I'm thinking, what if I did, like, have that house on the beach? And what if I did have, like, the you know? And then I'm like, but what I don't know if I would be like, got it all. That's what I'm saying. Do you ever wake like, do you think Kylie Jenner wakes up and is like, I have it all? Right? Do you think she's like, alright. I can just, like, relax now? No. I feel like even she did did her and her guy break up a while ago? But, like No. But I'm just saying her baby daddy. I know. But just there you go. Like, waking up. I don't know. I just feel like nobody has it all. Yeah. Yes. I'm so over having it all. So over people asking that, I'm over, like literally, have you ever heard anyone ask a dude, do you think you can have it all? Ever? Ever. In any interview with any guy, a reporter, no one has ever said, do you think you can have it all? Wait. I don't know why, but I just thought of this. Jim Carrey did an interview where the the interviewer was like, is there anything you haven't done? And he was like, you. He got in so much trouble for that. I thought it was He got in so much trouble for that. I was like, is she really gonna bring this up right now? I'm like, wow. And you're laughing hysterically. I didn't watch it. I just I just Because he's a comedian, so it's like Totally. It just related with what you just said. Like, has anyone ever asked? And I feel like that was like she was like, is there anything you haven't done? I feel like it was just one of those quick, like, that's what she said. You know? And he Totally. Mean it. Jim Carrey is such a goofball. I mean yeah. Listen. I I know. It's like half the people are gonna be like, that's disgusting. Half the people will be like, that's Jim Carrey. He's a goofball. Disgusting, but he's a goofball. So it's like, I don't think he meant I don't think he meant any harm by it. But it is I mean, but Jim Carrey is disgusting. I feel like he said other stuff is, like, disgusting. Remember when he did an interview on the red carpet? It was with Kat Sadler, and she was, like, asking him, like, about he was like, are you, like, excited to be here or something like that? And he's like, this is all bulls**t. None of this is cool. This is all f**king fake. These are a bunch of losers, and she just is, like, didn't know what to say. Yeah. That's what he he makes people feel uncomfortable. I feel like he, like, jumps up on desks, and he, like, makes weird faces and, like, all these different characters. Like comedians they make. Yeah. Comedians are supposed to make people feel uncomfortable. That's what I guess I'm trying to say is that he is disgusting, and he also is goofy, and he's just Yeah. He's all of it. Jim Carey. He's Jim Carey. Anyway, it just reminded me of that. Like, have but do you have it all? Okay. Nick Nick d. Nick d. How to deal with a partner who want f**k this. Who wants to explore an open relationship, but you don't want to. How to communicate that you're uninterested. What's a middle ground to agree on. Is this a guy asking this question? Yeah. Unless a girl's name is Nick. Should be should the relationship just be ended altogether? If you don't want that, then you should probably end the relationship altogether because it'll then always be in the back of your mind that your partner wants that. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm just a 100%. Do you know that someone said this to me before? Do you remember my boyfriend in LA, Chris? Yes. Yes. We'll give last names. Okay. I was surprised you gave the first. You can't look him up. I don't follow him on anything. There's it's impossible to Okay. To look him up. Yeah. When I was, what, 20? I remember this. And he he said, yeah, and he put on Facebook that we were in an open relationship, and my stepmom at the time called me, asked asking me about it. That was people think the relationships on Vanderpump Rules that I've had were bad. This one was so much worse. Why when I was on Vanderpump Rules, I would always be like, she has the worst taste in men. Like, you don't understand. We're not just starting with Jax, guys. Like, I've known her previously before this. Like, I've been through it. Yeah. That was a that was really hard for you in that relationship. You were like, what do I do? I mean that was, like, peak depression time. Yeah. And remember on Christmas Day, I'd driven back from Lake Arrowhead back to our apartment in LA because I felt bad that he was by himself. And it turned and he slept the whole entire day and didn't wake up. And then I found out later that night because he had been using my computer to sex chat with someone on Facebook, a porn star, in my apartment. And I still stayed in that relationship for a while. That's what I mean. I can't give advice. Like, I every relationship that I've got locked in, it's felt like there's no escape. You know? I've always felt like there's just, like, no escape from being treated. Like, I guess this is what people do to you. I guess this is what guys do to you. Like, I guess this is what boyfriends are like. Yeah. That's I'm on I'm thankful that I experienced that because I think that if I didn't have all those s**tty relationships, I think I'd walk all over Beau. Yeah. I don't think I would appreciate Yeah. His kindness and the way that he handles me. I think I would just be like, whatever. This is just like you're supposed to, but now I'm just I'm so appreciative of the way he treats me because I'm like, oh, s**t. I know what that I know what's out there. Yeah. I mean, hey. I feel like I experienced all these relationships with you. Yeah. You said you were I have part of that too where I look at Max, and I'm like, I'm so thankful for how nice you are. And, like Yeah. Nick, I'm gonna go ahead and say a 100%, maybe get out of that relationship if the person doesn't want that. You don't want this, Nick, it's time to say bye because it'll just always be in the back of your head. Doesn't want it. And he's saying, how do you deal with a partner who wants that? Nick, are you asking for a friend? Or I I think maybe his part or I don't know. That's what I'm saying. So the girl if this is a guy, Nick's a guy, the girl wants to be it's a gay couple, or that's what I thought. I didn't I think I think that that has to that feels so sad to say end your relationship. But it but I just feel like it will always be in the back of your head that you know that that's what your partner wants. It's like Also do be able to forget it. Just I definitely do not try it thinking it's gonna, like you'll like it or it's gonna save you. God. I'm like my stomach's starting to Like, please do nothing about this. I know. Like, I could and there listen. There are people out there who want to do that. What I'm saying. There are people who want open relationships, and great. Good for them. I the thought of watching Bo with somebody else or knowing that he's with somebody like, I I feel physically ill right now. Like, I'm sweating. I'm my stomach's turning. You know what? If I ever needed to go on a diet, I should just think about Beau with another person the next time I wanna eat Yeah. Food. Yep. Because right now, I feel like I could never eat food ever again. Yeah. And that's usually, I think, the reaction usually when you think of that. Who knows? But if this couple is exploring and Nick is uncomfortable, I think don't don't even say, like, well, let me just try and see how I feel. Because I could I could hear the other partner saying, how do you know you don't want that, or how do you know you don't you know? Because you've never done oh, f**k that. I'm sorry. Your instincts your instincts kick in. You're like, because I feel like I'm gonna vomit right now. Feel sick. Yeah. I literally am gonna go puke. Watch me. Well, I guess I'm saying that because the the fact that this person wrote in and is even thinking, like, what do I do? It's like I don't know. I feel like that this person could compromise, and I'm saying maybe don't in this situation. We prefaced this by saying we're not experts. You don't have to take our advice, but take it. Okay. Oh, this is a good one. Sorry. There's really no correct answer to this. How often does the average couple have sex? Oh. I want you to answer this first because you are I feel like you're still in the honeymoon phase. We're not in the honeymoon phase, but Well I'll say this. It depends on the week. Like, some and in our schedules. Like, sometimes, I'm like, wow. We had sex almost every day this week. And then sometimes, I'll be like, it's been, like, over a week and a half, and we haven't. And then it's like, we'll literally discuss it and be like, why haven't we had sex? And it's like, well, okay. I was on my period and I felt gross, then I got sick, and then I had to go work and then I'm like like he brings it up more of why we have why haven't we like, does he acknowledge it? Oh, it's equal. Very equal. We're I feel like we're gonna have 2 very not different answers, but I've been in a 10 year relationship and you're in I think you I look at your relationship as still really, like like, it will yeah. Compared to 10 years. Yeah. Okay. So this is good because we both have yeah. So you think okay. So I mean, and ideally for me, 3 times a week is good for me. That's that's, like, ideal. That's like if you could consistently have sex, like, 3 times a week, that's great. I would agree with you on that. Is that doable for everyone? I don't know. Like, I'm not sure. And I think, honestly, it's every couple's different. Like, Katie and Tom talk about this all the time. They're just like, we don't have sex that like, 3 times a week like that. They're like, but we're also we feel feel happy and fulfilled in the amount of times that we do together. It's enough for them. It's enough. It's, like, enough for them. Can I ask you? Are you do you feel like you're more of the aggressor, like or is Beau? Do you feel like you initiate it more, or does he No. I feel like he does more. He does. I mean, it yeah. He does more. Yeah. But, like, we've also gotten to the point, and I had a talk with him yesterday because I had just taken a Xanax to go sleep, washed my face. We ordered. We had eaten sushi, and I'm like, ugh. I feel full. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to sleep night. And he's like, wait. He's like, so we're we're not having sex? And I'm like, seriously? I was like, that's that's how you feel. Like, we just finished an episode of lost, bro. Like, I just took my Xanax. I we just ate. Like, couldn't you you've been over like, you were here for, like, 3 hours. You couldn't have just, like, wooed me a little bit. And I was like, tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning. And then this morning, when he initiated it, he was just like, I'm gonna make more of an effort to be romantic. I'm like, just stop talking. Do you like morning sex? Yeah. I do. Because it's just it's I'm not tired. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like at night, I just, like I'm like, the day has just, like, worn me out, and I'm just like and I'm so regimented in the way I go to sleep. Like, I have to take my vitamins and then my Xanax, and then I know that'll kick in in, like, a half an hour and, like, wash my face. Everything needs to be, like, perfect, and then I go to sleep before he does normally. And so it's just like there's no, like, spontaneity to anything late at night to me unless we're, like, wasted and come back from a dinner like, a night out together. Then that's fun. I've talked about Ritual, multivitamins for so long. This is a multivitamin that was created for women. The founders of Ritual literally went to one of the top leading scientists and said, if you could create the perfect vitamin for your wife that she only had to take for the rest of her life, what would it be? And this is what he created. 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Go to ritual.com/stassy to start your ritual today. That's 10% off during your 1st 3 months at ritual.com/stassy. I'm doing all the talking. Let's talk about your sex life. I well okay. First off, yeah, been in a very long relationship, and I agree. I think 3, I like that we're actually giving a number, not just like, we're like 3. Well, 3 for me. That's a good I think that I would be really happy with that. 3 is is I think that's like a Like, solid. Really, really good about my, like, sex life. I was like, yeah. We have 3. You know? But, again, it also depends on the week, and, you know, we also have that time of the month, and that's never ever a good time in the month when we're like, do you remember in the beginning in the beginning of my relationship? It didn't matter. Max brings this up. It didn't, and he says it to me. Says it too. Because when I now say, like, oh, I'm, you know like, sorry. I'm on my period. He said like, that didn't stop you when we first met. Bo says the same thing, and I'm like, yeah. Cool. That's because we, like, just first, like, got together, and it was, like, really exciting. And it was like, let's get on each other whenever we can. I'm like, but now I feel disgusting. I think back, and I'm like, why did I do that? Was I, like, desperate? Like, lay a towel down. I I think he one time told me, like, I think you're I think you're still on your period. I now wait, like, an extra few days. Oh, me too. I'm like to feel clean. Yeah. But I'm like, well, you would think in the beginning that we're really trying to make that impression. You think it's the opposite. You think at the beginning that we would be like, oh, no. Like, uh-uh. Like, that you're not going anywhere near because you want a good impression. And Yeah. And now we'd be like Yeah. Who cares? No. It's the opposite. It's the opposite. Back in the beginning, I did we would literally just lay a towel down. Yeah. And now I'm like, you joking? If he tries to touch him, like, you know I'm off my period, you dork. It's like I I'm like, I can't even believe you're even trying right now. Like, what the f**k? Yeah. So it that's a huge factor. And then, yeah, there it just, it just depends because we actually, we're just talking about this before we did the podcast. It's like, it definitely I think sex brings you together as a couple. So, like, if you've been fighting a lot or you've both been grumpy or even if you're both going through something, I feel like when you are intimate with each other, it sort of reconnects the relationship, and it's like I've It's so healthy. So when Yeah. I've had friends who are like, like, like, we're not doing well or this, and I'm like, well, are you guys having sex? Go. Like sex? Yeah. And then I've had this friend say, I just am, like, not in the mood ever, and I feel like I just don't ever want to. And I'm like, you need to get in the mood or just like Just do it. Go go, Just force yourself. Also too, just, like, go down on them a little bit. Like, if you don't want anything, just pop those in every now and then, a little you know? I could do that more. Right? I feel like everybody just like, there you go. I've gotten lazy. But it's like, if you're on your period and, like, you're not you're feeling like you need that reconnect and you're you know, it's like, maybe throw one of those out there. Yeah. I I completely agree with you that it it keeps me feeling like it keeps a closeness Yeah. There. A 100%. And every time when that happens, like, say it's been a while and we do have sex, we both look at each other, like, halfway through and laugh, and we're like, we should totally do this more. No. I know. Right? And then after Why don't we do why don't we do this every single day? Why don't feel so good. You're like, oh, it's like, whew. Yeah. Accomplish anything tomorrow. It's maintenance. It's maintenance on your body. It's maintenance on your relationship. It's like maintenance on your mind and your emotions. It's just like Yeah. It's like people who exercise. They're maintaining their body. It's like that's what sex is like too. It's maintaining. Yeah. Well, I so, yeah, I think that that's a huge part of it. So being together for so long, I feel like that's also been a huge role to, like, yeah, maintain the relationship. And, but I get it. Also it's also hard especially I will definitely keep not track, but kind of. Like, I will be like track? Wait. Well, I mean, I'm not like, okay. Thursday, Saturday. Like, I I know it's been a minute. Like, I'll be like, oof, like, it's definitely and don't get me wrong. We are not, like, 3 days a week going at it. It's just that sometimes it can be like that, but then there are times where it's been a little while, and I'm like, shoot. Like, I traveled, then I got back. Yeah. Something this, something that. And then you think back and you're like, oh, s**t kept getting in the way. Definitely been a minute. And you have to just make an effort. And that's when you make an effort, and that's when you really need to be like, okay. This is this is gotta go down. Yeah. Like, I don't understand. But I am a little bit more of the aggressor. You you are? Yeah. So I'm more of the the one who makes the initiative. Good for you. But yeah. I mean and I kind of like that. I think I've learned that I like so you're in control of your own No. I'm definitely in control. Calendar. Yeah. I'm definitely in control. And it makes me feel better too because I don't have to, like, turn anyone down. Yeah. Not tonight. Like, I don't have to be that. It's just like, if I'm not going for it, he knows it's not gonna be tonight. I love that. I've created that for myself, which I'm pretty proud of. This is, like, the only part of my life I feel like I'm not in control of. I'm such a controlling freak that I'm like, well, this part isn't really. But, yeah, sex, everyone. Cool. Let's talk about sex. Whoop whoop. Oh, what do you do when your significant other doesn't like hanging out with your friends? Well, I was in a 4 year on and off relationship where my boyfriend ex boyfriend wouldn't even be around or do anything with me, And I stayed in that one for way too long too. I don't know. You do a lot of stuff alone. Yeah. I was just gonna say, I I think it's healthy to have, like, a separate thing. You have a different situation because I feel like you guys your friends are each other's friends and you I don't know. Beau does have, like, a separate group of his buddies. Right? Yeah. He does. But more and more, my friends become his friends. Yeah. See, Max and I, we definitely have, like, a separate not that he has separate friends, but he's also a DJ, and he's got such a surf community that he he has so many friends that it's like they're not friends that maybe come over every day, but, like, I I could walk down the street with him and he could say hi to 3 people, and I have no idea who they are. What is that like? I have, like, 3 friends. Yeah. Well, I don't have as many friends, but I definitely have a separate thing going where I do travel. I do kinda have my own, like, outlets. Yeah. And he does too. I think that's really healthy Yeah. For for a couple to have kind of it's like, go hang out with your friends together every now and then. I'm not saying completely shut out each other's friends, but it's okay to have separate I think that there are no rules, honestly, again, with this. If you're happy because it's like I, like, I used to think that, like like, when I was with Patrick and stuff and I did mostly everything by myself, I used to think that that's the only way I wanted it. And because I do like having alone time so much. And now that Beau I'm with Beau and Beau is friends with all my friends, I now love the fact that he's always around. So it's like, it depends on the person, and it depends on what Especially too because your friends, it's like they all do couple things together. So it's like if there was a gathering, it wouldn't just be Kate, Britney. Like, they wouldn't ever go really anywhere to a party. We don't have girls' nights that much much anymore. It's very couple. Yeah. Like, whenever I'm around you guys, I'm always, like, feeling like, oh my gosh. Why is it Max with me? Yeah. Whereas I have other groups of friends where it's like all of us girls do stuff, and maybe there'll be a boyfriend or 2 there. But I don't ever feel like, oh, I should probably have my boyfriend here. Yeah. I should probably make more of an effort to do girls' nights. So I've kinda been looking forward to the point in your relationship where you start to kinda want to take friend trips again. I was like, what is she about to say? See me the way I delivered it. Like, What is she about to say? Because I looked down, and then I like the way. That was a great delivery. That was great delivery. You scared me for a second. So I'm like, oh my god. What is she looking forward to in my relationship? Like, what part? And I was like, oh, I know. I know. Because we travel so well together. I know. It's like, that sucks because it's like, see, I'm I'm still in that point in my in my relationship where I'm like, I keep I know. Going to Spain without Beau. I really wanted you hard for the Spain trip. I'm like going to, like, this place. Like, I want him to experience it with me. I'm not there yet. I know because I invited you. I know. Please come. Please come. And you were like, but if I go anywhere, I'd wanna go without. And I was like, okay. Well, let's I'm still there. Back in. Let's check back in. I'm still there. You gotta give me 2 more years. I know you are, so I'm looking forward to the day when I when you're like, hey. So I was thinking, like, why don't we? I'm like, yes. Yeah. I'm in. Totally. I also think, you know what? Once life settles down a little more, I'm not going on tour when I'm not going on tour or writing a book or moving or any of those things, I'll or have, like, people's weddings to plan and go to and, like, I'll just once life becomes normal again, I think that's when I'll wanna do things like that. Yeah. Because right now, like, when people are like, let's go on a trip. I'm like, I literally laugh in people's faces. Or even when my friends text me, like, Katie texted me yesterday, and she's like, hey. I'm having, like, some of the girls over tonight if you wanna join, and I, like, literally wrote LOL. I was like, no. Like, I don't have time. I literally like, I don't. Like, I'd love to. Like, in my brain, like, that sounds really fun, but I'm like, I'm moving, packing, about to leave to go on tour. Did a little trip. You did for Katie for her birthday? It was her birthday. And so it was like, okay. There's a reason. She planned it. 3 days only. Easy. You're already sick. The sickest I've ever been. How'd you know that? I know you so well. I think you said one word on, like, Instagram story or something. She had posted, and I was like, oh, Stasi's sick. I went straight from the when I got back home, Beau picked me up from the airport and dropped and brought me to the doctor. It turned out I had the flu, a bacterial infection, and some sort of virus. I could tell. Just tell. Post. Why the f**k were you in Utah? And I'm like, because it was my friend's birthday, and I couldn't just miss it. It's only 4 people. And you know if, like, when there's 4 people, if one drops out, 3 just changes it. And so I felt like I just, like, had to just, like, suck it up and go. But at least, like, it was Utah where we just, like, sat on the couch and was cold. Chatted. Well, I mean, I so cold. We barely went outside. We were just, like, in, like, a cabin pretty much. Yeah. But yeah. But I feel like once, like, life settles down, I'll be able to do fun things again. Okay. I'll I'll be I'll be checking in. Think of a location that I've already been to with Bo. Like, if you think of a location to where I'm not like, well, I haven't been here with him here. I haven't shown him that yet. Go back to Australia because he doesn't wanna go back to Australia, and we loved Australia. Yeah. So I think that we could do that. Yeah. I'm also always down for another Parisian trip. Oh, we could do that too. That's I've been with Beau. He likes Paris, but, like, there's just something about going with girls. I've never been to Paris in the, like, spring summer. Well, I don't like going anywhere in the summer because I hate sweating. Well, like the spring then. Yeah. Next year. Okay. Next year. Okay. Okay. I'll see you in Italy. See you. Well, yeah, there's that. See? So much s**t going on. Christina, thank you so much You're so very welcome. Hopping by here. This is the last time we're gonna be in my apartment. Oh my gosh. That's so sad. Yeah. So This is the last This is the last podcast in this apartment. Hold on. Wait. Let me just take a moment. Yeah. Do you know how many places we've done podcasts? Yeah. Lots of yeah. Oh my gosh. The apartment the other apartment apartment here. Yes. I love The Venice Shack. Shack, Nikki's apartment. Nikki's in so many different places. Your old apartment. And Yeah. The one on Gardner. The one on Gardner? Yeah. Up in the loft area. Yeah. That was the first one we ever did. Boyfriend's places. Yeah. Stopped by. It's this is this is the last time we're gonna do one here. Wow. Moving sucks. It's really hard, and it's, like, really made me feel like a mini depression because it's so overwhelming. You have to go through so much stuff. You really do. Ugh. I hired movers so I'm moving in 2 days. I hired movers to come pack up everything I don't feel like packing up. Good for you. I'm like, f**k this. f**k it. f**k it. And with that, talk to you guys later. This is such an honor for the last podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks for having me. Love you. I love you. Bye.
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