Transcript
So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready. One, two three. Think clap, yes, right? There were passengers, OK? Welcome to I've had it. This is probably going to be one of the most humiliating episodes of our entire life we have ever recorded, simply because about six, eight months ago, my son calls me and he's like, Mom isn't pikers talking about you on his stream. And I'm like, Who is Hassan Piker? And what is his dream, right? What is all this? So we find out. And then I watch it and I'm like, He loves us. Therefore, I love him, right? We love was just it was that transactional for us. And so then it's like, we're inviting the I've had it ladies because we're ladies to L.A., they're going to be on our podcast. We love these people. And then we were ghosted. Yes, we got broken up with we got better and we instituted the white girl breakup. Yes. And we placed a ban on the fear and podcast. This is a temporary lift of the band, the band. It is a trial run to see how this goes. We'll have to have a meeting afterwards when we get back to Oklahoma City to see if the ban will be lifted forever. But before we introduce our guests, I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. And we have with us Hasan. Well, in Austin. Yes. And these guys do this thing called Twitch for our listeners that don't know. I have been paying Twitch a lot of money for many years because my children play video games. Yeah. For his son literally paying me, which I did not know. Thank you basically for our listeners that don't know, these fellows engage in major indoctrination of young minds. And I appreciate it so much because there are so many kids that live in states like ours in Oklahoma City or rural America, and all they know is what their parents tell them and what their schools tell them and the church other world view. And I think it's incredibly, incredibly helpful what you all do. Yes. Well, thank you. We appreciate it. I don't want to be too positive, though, because that's not the premise of this podcast. So perhaps why don't you tell us what you've had it with? OK, what I've had it with, and it just happened when we landed in L.A. This woman gets on, you know, you have to leave the terminal, you get on a bus and you ride to get your baggage claim to your car. This f**kin woman had her face time out with her like two and three year old kids, and she is baby talking, which I'm fine with the baby, talk to a kid and she starts kissing. I found her face time. All these people f**king stop here. Stop. A. Wait to get in your car. Wait till you're by yourself. Go in the bathroom like nobody wants to see that in the bathroom. So I've had it with these people. I've had it with toddlers. Kind up with everything. I love that. You know, one thing we've noticed in L.A. is we really haven't seen children with them for four days, which is cool, right? It's fantastic. It's awesome. It makes it much better for them all. But be for everyone. Happy coffee. OK, let me tell you guys that I've had it with. OK. OK. Slow walkers are an especially egregious gripe of mine. OK, but when you have slow walkers that are a pair and they're holding hands and they're blocking the sidewalk, this is fatal. This is a this is a massive violation if you're going to be a slow walking couple. You have to go single file. You cannot hold hands and snail's pace down the sidewalk. That is not part of the social contract. I've got things to do. You make it Molly Jagger. I don't want a pussy foot. I want to steamroll down the sidewalk as quickly as I can. We were behind these old people at the hotel. Yes. And they decide to hold hands with each other. That's interesting that they've been together that long and they want to hold hands, whatever that might be heartwarming to. I was somewhat annoyed by it. I was irritated. Exactly why are you bragging where they like each other that you're so they've been married to me? They're slow walking, and I'm just, I'm in. You're trying to dart to get around them. And it was just like, I hate old people and these people not to be ages, but in those moments, you know, you can just really hate. Get the f**k out of the way. Yes. You know, all people know toddlers, correct, is that that is the California dream. It is. You guys would love it here. But I would absolutely love it here. OK, I want to go down. Roll Call has Oh, you want to go first? I think I'm ready for it and I'm going to make them at ease by jumping in. OK. I've had it with NFL fans because recently they've been pretty f**king gatekeeping. Oh yeah. Taylor Swift has brought a lot of new fans amazing to the NFL. And I remember being a new NFL fan, my uncle played in the NFL and it was very scary for me because if you've never watched football before, there are a lot of f**king stupid rules like a safety or offensive pass interference that take a while to adjust to. And I like the new fans coming in. We got fresh blood right? Right, right. And they've been very gatekeeping. And I've seen a lot of people on X or Twitter say like, Oh, I can't even watch football games anymore because all these Swifties are enjoying football. f**k you. Hmm. They're watching the same dumb sport. Erewash, right? Right. Let them have fun. Let them enjoy it. Yes, I think that's interesting. I'm going to dovetail off of that because I've had it with Twitter or ex. Oh, absolutely. It is something that I have finally said, Oh my god, I can't stand this anymore to this week where I think since Elon Musk took over. I mean, this is a bit of a cliche at this point, but like is it almost took over. The website has been forcibly like by Air Force turned into this like right wing forum. Agreed. Yeah, and it's just not even good content overall. Like I am someone who's fascinated with right wing commentary. I love looking at hogs in the wild, you know? And that's what I call it. Hogwash. Like, I love dressing up like a right wing guy and, you know, laughing. Live action, role play. But it's it's it's just awful. If it's the dominant narrative all the time. Everything on the timeline is just like CCTV footage of fight videos. And then like, I generated content from like the historian that is just basically like a video that they found and repurposed. They're just, you know, fake information. And then so much racism. I don't even use so much racism. It's unbelievable. I have the phobia. Oh yeah, it's awful. It's unusable. Like it used to be gay porn. Now it's just homophobia. I just thought out the other day, you can watch porn on Twitter. Wow, yeah, I I've no idea you could always go to Ted Cruz's liked tweets. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ed Cruz, I realized something. And this is amazing. Factoid men our age right around, I would say around 35 is the cutoff now 36. The percentage under that age that have googled the word boobs at one time in their life is almost a solid 100. Even I've Googled boobs and I'm gay. Yeah, one of my passwords is boobs. Yeah, right? Did you reveal that? You know what? You. We are just like, yeah, password. One of my passwords is boobs. You have to figure it out for the first time, I told my kids back my passwords for stuff. It was a humiliating day that that they were there. All disgusting sex acts. That's wild. I'ma tell you guys what I've had it with. OK, what it. I travel a lot. Almost every week, I'm on a plane, mostly coming to this podcast for petrol. I've had it with motherf**kers. Can I curse on this podcast lately? c**k suckers? OK, don't celebrate. Yeah, they don't know how to exit an airplane in an orderly fashion factory. It is row by row. You wait patiently. People grab their bags. You exit like a like a like a normal human being, not like an animal. I was in the first row of a plane last night. I got up to grab my bag and was steamrolled by three people behind me that could not exit the plane. It is the most annoying thing I have. I'm so I can't stand it. I have shoulder checked people. Oh, really, you like that? Yeah, that old couple that you saw. Yeah, actually, speaking of, Oh, this was an elderly woman who was struggling to get her bag down shoulder chin, you know, she was struggling to get her bag and people were trying to go past her. So I shoulda checked the person, the person that was trying to go past her and I helped her get her bag and then I body. I was a body shield as she walked up the gate because that's how we should respect our elders. I've had it with people that don't know how to exit a plane in an orderly fashion. It's awful, it's awful and it's a problem. It's a huge. We need to make it a problem. Where are you going? Exactly. You're in the back of the bus? Yeah. Wait, where are you going? That is true with air travel. There is a lot of pre-boarding fraud going on where there's no oversight. Oh yeah. Nobody is checking. It's like families with small children. And then you see, like teenagers boarding with their parents. Yeah, and people that need special assistance. And you see some like Royd guy, you know, who just snorted a bunch of creatine in the bathroom prior pre-board. And I'm like, Is there any oversight in this? Are we just he might be military? Yeah, he might be a veteran. That's right. We accidentally, which also, I don't think they should get priority either. I'll say that. I think I think it's I think they should. I think it's wheelchair. And that's it. Yeah. Same with parking. I think we're getting too many carve outs for people. If you are sincerely disabled, then you should have a preferred parking spot and preferred boarding to the plane. Yeah, beyond that. But here's something fascinating we found out in doing this podcast and you all need to start checking this OK, so as you watch the pre boarders count the wheelchairs on and then when you get off that jet bridge, how many are waiting? It's always less. They call it the jet bridge Jesus phenomenon. Yeah, people are faking being disabled to pre-board and getting pushed on to a plane. They get in their seat and then miraculously, they walk off the jet bridge. God and I, a lady, told us that came to our live show. That's a pilot. She told us this. So I've been doing it. The first flight after you take, you're faking it. Disability? Yeah. No. Yes. So I counted seven wheelchairs on our flight after this show. Seven disabled people go on. When I got off the jet bridge, three wheelchairs were waiting. Yeah, you see, four people were scamming the system. You need to confront one of these people with a hidden camera. It's a great idea. Where's your wheelchair, b***h? The problem is like Gandalf. The problem is that you do run into the to the issue that, like, you know, they could actually be the same, right? That would be my I'd go do that to somebody that really like has an amputated leg or something, and that would be the biggest a*s. But I mean, I if they but if they do them, they would probably need a wheelchair on the way out, right? Yeah, but how do you now? But you know who's who you don't know who's taking the wheelchairs? No oversight in this we need. There needs to be a regulation. This is where your impulses flirtation with currency could come in handy. Jesus, see you check mark to people. Yes, you do that for stolen valor. I'm like, if you're a vet like, I need to see your credentials. I'm sorry, you're veteran. OK, which wars did you fight in? And even then, I'm like, You shouldn't get pre-boarding. Can I post something about the unloading and loading of a plane? Yeah. Why don't we f**king board from the back to the front? I agree idea, because I paid more. Oh my god, just kidding. I'm sure. Actually, no, no. The reason is they want to give First Class the time to give them an extra incentive. Yes, they want to give people number one, the incentive number two, they want to give people there's limited bin space to. They want to give those people, but I agree with you. And also, it makes a lot more sense, is a lot more efficient, the airlines are probably saved money, too. I'm curious with a cost analysis of the efficiency that they would, the efficiencies that they would have boarding that way and how much they're getting through the loyalty program. I'm sure they've thought it through, but they probably they they cut corners on everything. I'm going to tell you why they want the stowage to walk through first class and see that piece of life so that they're like, I want that for myself. Yeah, and then I'll do it next time. Well, to aspire to. Yes, that's right. Pinching everything, though every. It's getting worse. You know, warm nuts. And no, that's not hot towels. You're in the hot towel, torso, no plastic cups. What the f**k? Yeah. Yeah, I want some crystal barbecue. You know what I mean? See, we're the same. Do your podcast viewers know that you're a Karen or you may do what I want. I want to inform them you're a white hat doing it for the good of humanity. Yeah, because you stand up for you. Stand that we we band together and we find those people that make a change. Some people say Che Guevara was a white hat. Karen. Yeah, yeah. You're regulators, yes. What do you expect? OK, I went and fought. It was exactly, you know, in Africa to liberate African nations like, that's what he was doing. That's almost what we're doing with. Yeah. I want you all to explain to us. I have no idea what this is. Perhaps we'll have no idea what this. What is a self sucking incident? Oh my god. Oh, OK. Oh, OK, fine. So I think I can't. Do you want to tackle this or you want me to tell you you're the one that doesn't mean you're OK? Yeah, you are the most selfish. You got to say that I died in one of those when I left. Yes. We said about three to five months is a long. This is a long running joke where we we have many guests of the pod. And part of the reason we do that is so that we have the flexibility to miss episodes. A long time ago, though, we we were talking about sucking your own c**k and various members of the podcast admitted that they have tried or succeeded. All men have tried, by the way. Yes, we're really, really strong. Cos if you if your husband has said no, yes, he's lying. Ask him. Ask him when you get home. I will. I'm going to call you back on this call calling. But I was the first member of the Pod to miss an episode and the the the reason that they gave. I immediately started lying and said was that I had sucked my own c**k to death and and someone on the internet posted it in memorial to me that my 93 year old father fell and he reached out to me was like, We are you OK? I'm seeing this. And I was like, Wait, someone saying, I'm dead? And he's like, Yeah, and they're saying that you suck from God. Yeah. So this became our go to excuse for somebody in the pod. They've passed away in a tragic self. Right, right. Yes. Which it started with Will. But evidently all of us. Hassan has never missed a podcast. I've never because I don't die. When self sucking, he's able to survive. Yes, you're by yourself. You know, I have to say, I don't know that that is a thing with women. Do you know anybody who's tried to shoot their own of match? No, I don't know any self-made Charles, and I'm going to look this up. Is there any way I would have to be tough? You'd have to be a contortionist, right? There's nothing coming back at you or Gene Simmons ask with. Right? Yeah, I've never even thought about it. You'd have to definitely take out a couple of ribs like Marilyn Manson. Yeah, yeah. Which is it's a lot more sophisticated. I I don't know what it's like to eat. Pussy. He doesn't know anything about vagina. I don't really know much about it, but I imagine it's a lot more intricate and sophisticated, so it takes a little bit more. Not only is it hard to stretch that far, but the detail or the orientation, you know, pinpoint accuracy. I think this would make you like strange bedfellows with like Speaker of the House Mike Johnson. Yes, Ted Cruz. I don't think these men know they don't know anything about just how much in common I have with straight men is my lack of understanding of a vagina. That's right. But you know, the difference between us is between me and straight men, as if I were to have to be with a woman. I would put forth the effort to dedicate some effort to yourself. He's a liar. He doesn't. He's a liar. You wouldn't. I would. Totally. I'm a real service. Stop. You are. Oh, I like that. Yeah. So for all the viewers here, this is my gay friend Hassan Baker. He loves men. I actually hear whatever. Nancy. Yeah, so confident in his sexuality. But you said your dad was ninety three? Yeah. How old was he when you were born? Sixty. God, math got a ma*s. Were you an accident? No, I wasn't an accident. I call myself a half court shot. Oh, I had. I had two older brothers from a different marriage, and then my mom was much younger than my dad, and they met on a plane and they had a 20 year whirlwind romance and so cute. You think that you were a Viagra baby? I know my dad is my dad up until he broke his femur recently, but right up until then reports that he had a diamond cutter. He was really, yeah, he was just a real congressman, virile man. So respectfully, how do you get that information? An IRA when you have a different relationship? We're very young. My mom and my mom and I, too. So I get it. I understand. I don't think my I think my dad is one of those like Ivy Leaguers who would just have too much pride to take Viagra. So he does feel he would use, will it? Yeah, he just he'd watch eight women, eight hours of week. He just limited women's volleyball. What do they call that when you just limp and squeeze their socks? And thousands of that said, Oh, it's the word, Oh, it's a sea of experiences. Yes. Oh, I guess husband was some short on air. Oh my god. So there's this great story. When she's married, they've been divorced for a long time now, but she calls me God, and he always wants to have like all my children. Days of our lives hacks. It's so ridiculous. We have to start what is all my children days like where you start French kissing, kissing and making out, and it's soap opera sex that you don't like the foreplay. I don't want a French kiss my ex-husband ever. So he was your ex at this point. No current has. She's telling, OK? She's telling me that she's having the French kissing and they're having sex, and he just can't really keep soft serving after soft serve. And she's like, This is going to have to end. So she says, Why don't we just do it from behind? Oh, so he flips her over, seals the deal. Lift off, right? Yeah. So then for about 36 hours, we'll get insane. We get 36 six hours later and he's like victory lap telling her for the next day and a half. Boy, you really love it from behind. Don't yet. So this was like 20 years ago. So now, all the time, any time sex comes up, I'm always like, Yeah, I'm really like sex where it's really it was just an efficiency. It was an efficient way to break it down. She wanted to raw Doggett to land the plane. She knew that that would probably make it. So take it over the top. So was it never enjoyable? Maybe in the beginning, I think. Thank God, I got pregnant really fast. Really? Yeah. Before we got married, I think it's always better before you get married. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe this doesn't sound great. No, no. Is it? I'm not a fan of my. I love my husband. We we've been through a lot because of his addiction, and there are times where I hated him, like massively. Yeah, but I love him and he's great. He's pretty gay, like you all are. For me, like total metro, super progressive, he's awesome and I enjoy him so much. We like to do the same s**t. We're both really shallow. And so he I. My marriage to him right now is great. But marriage is one of those things, like with anything where you go through like peaks and valleys. And here's the thing that is not advertised about marriage that really f**king pisses me off. If you're fortunate enough to grow up and you have your own bedroom, you have your own bedroom from like zero to 18 and you have your own bedroom, maybe you have a Jack and Jill, you're only sharing it with one person. Or maybe you have your own ensuite bathroom and then you go on and you have some college roommates and then you're independent again and you have to live by yourself and then you're forced to share a bed, a bathroom. Typekit, was it with somebody in that really pushes what I think human beings are able to tolerate that you are spitting bats, my girlfriend streams out of our bedroom. So there are so many times I have to get ready, like a like a f**king prison inmate in the back of her leg. She'll be on camera and I have like a towel and I have to put on underpants. Yeah, I feel disgusting. Well, you just need to buy a new house now. Yeah. If I get yeah, every room, it's you sharing so much. And then sometimes you go, I remember, like, how in love you are in the beginning. You're f**king like rabbits. Right? And then like a couple of years into marriage, you look over and you're like thinking, if this person reads, yes, you don't want to use oxygen. But then a couple of weeks later, you're madly in love again. It's really it's like, it's frightening, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And you have periods where you're not. It's the same thing with kids. You see the secret, would you say life partners? Yeah, we can avoid that. Well, yeah, we're going to we're going to get heterosexually married. I love you. I was going to say that. I think, do you think the secret is like maybe having like a sense of privacy, which is like virtually impossible after knowing someone for ten years, but still, like, you know, maybe not farting in front of your partner or something for as long as you hold it? Absolutely. Yeah. No, no. But it's just like I keep those sorts of things private because I think, you know, as a heterosexual female that men are, you always kind of have to keep an allure of what to keep that kind of spice like. I don't want to just rip in front of Josh.. Yeah. And ever up in front of you. Sometimes because I was kind of I mean, yeah, sometimes he does. But I would say the secret is this like for Josh and me, he is an atheist. I'm an atheist. He's incredibly progressive. I'm incredibly impressive. We both live in Oklahoma City, so the pickings were very thin to find that type of person. Yeah. And so we like kind of clung on to each other. But then we both I mean, we like the same s**t. We like to hate the same s**t. We like to love the same s**t. So those common things in the sex can kind of weave in and out of it. You know where sometimes you're really attracted to each other, and that's not what you're going to go through a dry spell, but having things in common, like where when we go on a trip, I'm like, we like to do all of the exact same s**t, whereas perhaps if we get married, she wants to watch MSNBC 24-7 365. Oh my goodness, which is to the Midas touch. And she thinks Ben might say this is her boyfriend. She notices when he gets his haircut and like, we're in Vancouver on the hot s**t to her and I'm like, We're in Vancouver, let's go walk around, let's go shopping. And she's like, I know I got to watch Ben, but if Josh were with me, like would be at Prada doing totally shallow s**t together, my god, he would feel like, you know, awesome. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, well, that's amazing. We played tennis together, pickleball. So. Oh my God. A pickleball. And I guess I'm I'm about becoming popular. So I'm a racquet sportsman. I played squash in college. I was really good. My dad was actually a national champion at one point in his last year. We all went to Cornell with a scholarship. Wow. And then I played. I was also a tennis pro. Growing up, I played tennis. What are you like a five and five or nine more? But pickleball, you know, I kind of like my friends were playing at creators. I was like, Oh, this is fun, I'll get up and I start beating a*s. Yeah, yeah, like chi. OK, so this story I don't think I've ever told you, I forget who you played pickleball with, but I remember someone telling me that they had no idea that you were like a racquet Smith, I guess. Yeah. And and they were like, Yeah, we were just like, we play pickleball pretty competitively. And then we asked, will never to come join us one time? And he apparently brought his little dog, Farley, with him. Yeah. And I played like I played a one voice who said, Yeah, he plays guys who thought they're good. And I held my dog the entire time and I just and his man what he was. They were like, It's insane. I just held his dog. Whoa. One of be chewing both, though. That is abusive. Yeah, I got it right there. You like one the pickleball court and chose violence. Yeah, I mean that there wasn't a dry seat in the House. It was so it's so funny that they just they had no idea. And I was like, Yeah, he's like a racquetball pro. None of this surprises me, though Will is one of the most incredible athletes. He's anything you could put well enough in. He'll be the best at it. But he would be like if he was gay, I wouldn't. There would not. I was shocked me under the table. Do you say that about Will? But you still think that I couldn't out? f**k you if I'm not forced out, you throw out a hypocrite to say that he so you. That is on. You can imagine about your love for this is. You have an experience you've been talking for too long. You were raised. You have no idea. You are afraid. Will backs me up on this anyway. You're afraid of what I would do. Also, you are. You exceed the weight limits of most twinks in West. This does not matter. They are very fragile, you would snap multiple in two weeks. This is not we have a lot of tweets, we have a lot of tweets, Boeing airplanes and which. The reason why he gets this defensive is because he is afraid. He is afraid. This is not our God. We love it because we love it. So what do you think? They're afraid of your gayness. You're lot like, if I was one day, if I took the magic homicidal pill that we are trying to invent, that brings you gay. OK, that that allowed me to enjoy having sex with men and find men sexually attractive. I would out, f**k him. I would f**k him onto the table. And he is genuinely afraid when he's so worried now that like, you're so worried that every time I post a photo, this is something that maybe you ladies don't know about gay men, but apparently they're fascinated with armpit. Yes. Do you really like armpits? No. Oh, he's a big guy. I love him. I mean, we were recently in Salt Lake City. We did a live show there, and there were all these ex Mormons that came to like our meet and greet. And they said, you know, because Mormons are constantly trying to not have vaginal sex, their, you know, their down rocket. So well, this E.R. nurse said that this they would get like STDs in their armpits and like behind their legs. That's where they were. f**king Jesus. Yeah. Tell them the story about the city in the first place with so many different. Exactly. Yeah. You go back to. Yeah, I was going to say, how do you we need to find this person somebody. But let's say this to the best part. So she tells us that one night at amulets comes to the E.R. and it's a guy that had been talking, which is no movement. You're just like looking at each other. And the girl sneezed. So he had an orgasm. He called an ambulance and called the police, accusing rape and demanded a rape kit. The guy did the guy say he was joking and he was just talking about rock, and she sneezed. And I guess it made her kind of do an involuntary cackle. He orgasms immediately, and he's so freaked out by it that he lost his virginity that he calls 9-1-1, goes to the E.R. in an ambulance and demands a rape kit. So what made you badgered that ambulance, right? This guy just sitting there playing and I was right. You want like a foil towel was like, What a court of law would that work? Is she been in prison? But she was immediately arrested and ma'am in jail? Yeah. You would have to institute like some Mormon like Sharia law style situation where, like the only the only punishment can be dished out by God at that point. Right? But can you imagine this guy like for the. I mean, how big of a pussy? Yeah, yeah. I would feel like the remainder of your life. That guy is never going to enjoy an orgasm. Never. He's never going to jail forever. Anytime somebody sneezes, he's like, Oh, you got to remember the key. He loves to be sneezed on. Yes. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. I think it would have created up maybe a suction. Yeah, it's yeah. I think it was a Kaggle. I think she did an involuntary cagle. Interesting. Yeah. And it pinched his penis. What does a Kaggle? Is that where they did that? I gather you're doing how you can do a**l cagle. So we're going to squeeze our pelvic area squeeze. Five six seven eight one two I releasing now. Now you just kind of squeeze and release to release. All right. I'm doing you. Can you dick giggles do. How do you do that, really? I can do them right now. Same Cagle. Zahavi did Cagney. Yeah, there's a muscle that you can go boing, boing, boing, boing. Yeah, I have the same thing that you use to like, stop the flow of pee, I guess. And it's like the same muscle and you can do. Ever heard of that? I'm doing right now? Yeah, I'm doing them too. Do you suffer from having a para social relationship with two barely competent middle aged women? If so, please go to. I've had it podcast dot com or to any social media site I'm talking x formerly Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, etc. and click the link in Bio and come see us at the Hot s**t tour. Make your Paris social relationship real at the hot s**t to her right pumps. Tell him it's so fun we hope to see their. Listener, this episode is proudly brought to you by Lullaby Levy, an award winning haircare line founded by the fabulous Jennifer Aniston. You know, hair so iconic it needs no introduction, you know, perhaps Jen, a.k.a. Jennifer Aniston, she got tired of the same old struggle we all face choosing between hair products that work and ones that are actually good for us. Willow Levy. That dilemma is history. Don't you use their detangler? I love their detangler makes a huge difference when I styled my hair. I also love the perfecting leaving conditioner. Those are two of my favorite products as well. And here's a treat for you, our listener. For a limited time, you can get 15 percent off your entire order at Lola Viacom. Just use the code, had it at checkout. I mean, if you're taking haircare advice, why not listen to the woman who introduced us to the Rachel cut and then just recently introduced us? Hello, full circle moment. Unlike Jennifer Aniston approved hair at Lola VidCon as our loyal listener, you'll get an exclusive 15 percent off your entire order. When you use the code had it at checkout, that's 15 percent off your order at L-O-L, a VIP dot com. Be sure to use that promo code had it. Please note you can only use one promo code per order and discounts cannot be combined after you purchase. They'll ask where you've heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. You know, perhaps when you get cornered by that awkward family member, we really can't tell them the exact truth about your life because they're so judgmental. Absolutely everyone has a few in their family. It's so miserable. But you know what? That should never happen. That awkwardness when you go to visit a doctor. Enter ZocDoc, the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Once you find the doc you want, you can book them immediately. No more waiting awkwardly on hold with the receptionist, and these docs all have verified reviews from actual real patients. I use this and you should to go to ZocDoc.com/. I've had it and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find an ebook. Top rated doctors today. That's Zozi D.O.C..com/. I've had it zacks.com slash. I've had it. So Austin is there, I was just thinking about, you know, like one of the smartest things I think about Uber is it's the last test of where the customer is rated back. You know, like we all worry about our Uber rating because that's really a window to like, how you're performing. And I'd like to see your and Pam says, considering you're both parents. Oh, in the gay sex world, is there any sort of like rating thing on Grindr? You know, there's no reviews. There's not that be interesting, but to my knowledge, there's not. I mean, I feel like that would get catty. There, definitely there. Definitely. I think in small circles, people get reputations. Certainly what's worse? I hope. I think it's covered up. No, no. Not to get too vulgar here, but I love to me like in all seriousness, he jokes, because he knows I'm a service to I. It is so important to me that my partner is having pleasure to a point where if they're not, I'm out. That's a that's how I know you're gay, right? That's how I immediately know you're gay. Because for men, her husband performed horribly soft served time after time again. She had to create a scenario to get, you know, to make him take it over the finish line because we know she likes it from behind. And then he took a victory lap, right for 36 hours. That's crazy. Sorry, my one time. Yeah, yeah, because I know you and I are both service rates. I love that. OK, we're going to play a game called Had It or hit it or hit it. OK, OK. Oh my god. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it at it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right. Nicotine gum. Hit it. I hit it. Had it, never had it. Never going to have it. Have you ever smoked? Never indifferent. Because I've never had Nicorette. Really? Have you ever smoked? Yeah. And you just cold turkey. Quit it. I'm just like, if I'll have a few beers, I'll go outside and smoke a diet. A delicious cigarettes have to get together every day. And those types of habits and I were smoke like two packs a day problem serious about our allies and the people like you who could just I'm a serial killer, like, have a beer or two, have three or four cigarettes. That is insane. I don't care. My girlfriend gets really mad at me because she vapes. And when the vape is gone, ah, I live my life, I'm fine. And she's like, How are you not thinking about buying another vapor? It's very frustrating. I have a totally A. You know what is? I don't want to be disrespectful, but you guys, I feel like in order to like you guys would be sexy smokers. Thank you. I'm serious like you. We thought we were just we were like, we crashed. No, I'm seriously crushed. Marvel needs to hire you guys for an ad campaign over the next sex like you guys are like. Not all people look sexy when they smoke, but we thought we did. I used to make fun of vapers. I was like, I only smoked. I was just like vaping. It's not cool smoking. It's what the cause is. They're still not cool. Not very cool. You're the reason why smoking was cool, I think. Yeah, no. All that I get. I went to her house. Our kids were super young and she had the flu, and she's like, I need you to come over and bring me sent that. So I brought her something. I meet her on the side of her house and she's got this huge fur coat on in the suburbs of Oklahoma City, and she has like a hundred and three fever. She can barely talk and she just whips out this sick and I go, Why are you smoking? And she goes, Well, I can't get non addicted. I didn't want to get stopped smoking while I was sick. Now I was first thing in the morning coffee and a smoke. Yes, coffee. That's it. That's the deal. OK, I had it or hid it. Stanley Cups. Hmm. Had it hit it, you were the same person. Yes, I don't. I love Stanley 'cause I love a good. I like the good Yeti Cup unless it's a controversial thing you can't like both. I like a great Stanley, good yeti. I think we're perpetually as a society dehydrated and I think it's hydration theatre you think is the ultimate thirst trapping. I've had it to carry around a g*****n receptacle. Like this piece of s**t right here? Yeah. What's your podcast like? This March is right. That is a Stanley Cup. I know I love it. Yeah, I've had it. They drive me f**king crazy. Everybody going bananas at target, acting like g*****n vultures and then schlepping around these caps all the time. Like how hydrated I am. But they are though, right? They're hydrated. People are drinking too much. We're paying for being clean, clear always. I would say water theatre. You're right. I don't think they're drinking all that. I would say hit it. But I would say it because Stanley Cup is just a receptacle for a new. Niche in the population. Right. Hippies have now jeans. f**kin Brose, have Yeti's they everybody now has their receptacle, and I'm on board with women having Hydro Flask and Stanley. This is their corner of the market. I have a stake. Come on. Yeah, I think my with the women's like the gays, I think I think Stanley Cup and I saw this on Twitter. But I think Stanley Cup is a signifier that America has no walkable cities because no, like it is literally about one. Totally. It is literally a party designed for the suburbs, like because it's so massive that like, there is no way like think about when we go to Europe and we have to like, you know, walk around a lot, take public transit all the time when we're like doing stuff. I wasn't at my desk, so I'm not sure what I mean because it's a kind of Uber to your sink. Our houses are huge like this. The point I'm trying to make is that, yes, it is a indoor receptacle. You cannot have a Stanley Cup if you are on the go. If you live in New York, it's a very difficult thing to just like. That is true. And I think also underestimating, though, the mouthfeel of the straw. I think that was the first thing that drew thing. People to Hydro Flask is like the water tastes better. Mm hmm. It's like a Mexican coke. There's something about that glass level that sets it off. Yeah, there's something about Stanley Water. Well, Mexican coke is because it's not high fructose corn syrup and really helps as well. The bottle the bottle does help. Yeah, I agree with that. There's something about the mouthfeel of that Stanley straw. It is a great straw, is a great it's a stress reliever where you take one or which one of you listen. I learned a lot. I took him to West Hollywood and he taught him everything he knows about being gay. He took me to West Hollywood. He took me to the Abbey. He went to the ATM, slapped down $100 in one dollar bills, and he guided me through tipping my first stripper. You also had a good friend. Yeah, it was great. Thank you. He hasn't been with me since, but bulls**t bulls**t once or twice. No, I came for about five and he's he's a will has been a better ally than his, I think, you know, a better ally because I always try to tell you that like there are better upscale gay institutions that you could frequent and not like the entry level that all the bachelorette parties are held at because it's like you're going to like the Disneyland version of gay. Yeah, I love. Yeah, I love Disneyland. No, that's what I mean. It just sucks. Like, I don't like it. He won't go. I don't like it because it's like it's me on my birthday. I did go on your last birthday. Sorry, OK, I had it or hid it. That's how I did it. I. You are gay. Yes, I are you. Have you had it? I had a cat. Yeah, I had a cat breaking up s**t. We're going to break out your work. Three. We can work through this. Yeah. Have you worked through this? Had it. 100 percent hit it. I'm a massive dog person. I think I talk about this quite a bit, obviously. Like, Look, I am left this and there's a thing with left this in cats. I don't know my community. Everyone's a cat guy. Vladimir Lenin cat guy. OK, so that's the thing. People love cats in the space that I frequent. I think cats are. They're too hot and cold. I don't want a s**tty roommate. You know, I don't want to. I don't want a s**tty roommate that I that like I can't pet all the time or like the s**tty roommate comes over and is like, pet me. And then I start petting and then it's like, OK, I've decided that this is no longer fun and I'm going to go zero to one hundred and start clawing you. I'm like, what? It's an abusive relationship. I have an abusive relationship with their pets. OK, last one. So I think we're all obviously left leaning. Yes, sure. We all obviously know the pitfalls of capitalism. Yes, I think everybody in this room has been able to excel at capitalism. When you can excel at capitalism, you get to buy nice things. Yes. So had it or hit it, designer drip had it really had it? I don't care. I've never really care about. See, I don't care either. I don't care as long as it. I think designers, this is maybe controversial, especially amongst these two I think I went to. Every time I go shopping, I see designer drip. It looks ridiculous. People look ridiculous and I look ridiculous when I wear designer things. There are certain pieces like, is Gucci designer? Yeah. So I've got like a Gucci necklace. Sorry, I don't know. See, I don't know. But I think certain pieces are nice. But like some people, they look ridiculous. I've had it. I don't care. As long as it looks good, I don't care what brand it is. Great. You do like to fly first cla*s. I do. OK, well, the star hotel. He he's internship. He's a movie. Love the journalist. Minute Boal who are essential. No, no, no. What you read that and we've only known each other for an hour. Hey. I mean, you spot you like that, though. I can. Yeah. We're all going to get along. We're hotel snobs, big time. We got to talk about it. But oh, OK, has this hard right? Had it or hit it? Designer drip? Oh, I hate it. When I was younger, when I was younger, I loved like all of the brands and fashion, and I would like even sometimes like design my own like jackets and stuff because I used to draw a lot when I was younger. And you know, all of these brands like I would always want to acquire them when my parents were like. Of course not. Like what? That's crazy. You're not getting it. I remember like getting like fake hand-me-down Nike's and everyone making fun of me, even though, like my family was very affluent growing up. Obviously, I went through a period of independence where I was, you know, financially very unstable. But in the beginning, my family was very affluent and they still would not spoil me. So I've always been fascinated. I think like fashion is an important way of expressing yourself. You absolutely don't need designer drip at all. However, I do like it. I like the the craftsmanship that goes into it. I like the effort that goes into it. The seams? Yeah. Exact art. And there are definitely like a lot of fashion brands that, in my opinion, will have much like your favorite musician. Not all of the songs are going to be bangers in the album. Some of them you listen to, some of them you're like, Oh, this sucks. A lot of fashion houses, especially if they're following trends or if they're rebranding, will go through a period where they have a lot of misses. Right? But when you find that one piece that you've been looking for and it fits you perfectly and it makes you feel awesome and you can respect the craftsmanship that went into it. And all of the materials that were sourced and you just envision it. I'm basically describing commodity fetishism, by the way. But I mean, it literally is, and it makes me feel good and I hit it. I love it. OK, well, for myself, I've had it, but. But hear me out for myself. I've had it just because I can emulate most of the trends that I want to more affordably. Almost everything I'm wearing right now is amazing. D-backs, he was wearing Steve earlier, which is a relatively affordable brand. So a lot of the designer stuff on men, I don't love it right now, but hit it for women. I don't know what happened to me, but I love shopping for my girlfriend now because she's not big on designer, but I f**king love it. Like, I recently got her an Alexander McQueen bag with Brown, with the clothes on. I have that one. I saw it and I couldn't put it down in my mind. I was like, That's so f**king hot. And all I could think about was like me carrying it. But then I bought it for my girlfriend because it's next best friend. I love you cross-dressing by proxy. You get upset. Do you get upset that, like men's, even designer stuff is so entirely limited? And then you look at the women's section, you like to get some stuff. Hello, I'm talking to you. f**k you. Women's s**t is so awesome. And your guys s**t looks like divorced dad trash. Yeah, I every time I go shopping with my girlfriend, I'm like, Oh my God, there's no guilt on my own. There's no gain. And then I go to myself, it's like, it's all gray. It's all great. It's bad. It's so f**k you. Sucks. I have. We need more variety in menswear. It's so awful having a dress. This is the man I want to dress like, right? That's it. I want feathers, can't do sequins. And just I experienced this when I have two sons, when they were little and I love to shop and I love like Hassan. I love the artistry behind it. I imagine it starting as a sketch and then they source the fabric and all other, you know, knockoffs are made from those big fashion houses. And then it comes down to different brands. H&M, one like devil's product, Zara. Yeah, exactly. But when my kids were really little, I'd go shopping for them and I'd walk into like the baby gap or something, and that girl's clothes would be so cute and they're all on one side and then look over to the boys. And I was just like, trash. Total garbage. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. I think that's it, guys. Well, I could do one more had it or hid it. Let's just do one more. One more. All right. Last one had it or hid it. Taylor Swift two controversial hit it will as a people pleaser. So he's going to give you the most people pleaser answer. I will be the honest one. OK, OK. I've had it. I've had it with Taylor Swift every time she's not here. I've had it with Taylor Swift as a person who doesn't even consume it. And I think a lot more people are going to have it with Taylor Swift eventually because there's overexposure. There's too much overexposure right now. It happens with every trend, you know? Taylor Swift sneezes in the in the direction of something, and it becomes a trend, partially because she has the most powerful constituency on. Planet, yeah, white women, especially white women and some gay men, but definitely white women and women are, I think, responsible for 85 percent of everything that we consume. They purchase 85 percent of the things purchased in the United States of America women. I didn't know that. Yeah, like an insane number, right? That's crazy. Very powerful constituency. Yeah. Taylor Swift. It has. Has it locked down? I appreciate everything she's doing. It's great. I love it. However, I think the overexposure has gotten a bit much. I don't mind the NFL's stuff. Like you said, she brings a new audience to the NFL. That's wonderful. But I do think that that overexposure is going to inevitably start tanking her brand. I think he's right. I don't. I'd hate it. I don't really have any strong opinions, though I'll give it to perhaps what's yours? Hit it, Taylor Swift. OK? Had it Swifties. Excellent answer point. Excellent nuance there. Taylor Swift in and of herself. She buys into this to a certain degree, but like at a certain point, who doesn't want to be a billionaire? So OK. There we go. Now, the second part of it is Swifties, and I think particularly young people right now that the fanatical nature of them is almost like the same level of buying that you give to a psychic. Right? A lot of Taylor Swift's music has elements of a cold read where they are life moments that are like, non-specific to anyone. And so they are specifically everyone. Right? And so many young women hear this music and they go, This is my story. The minutia of my life is important. That breakup is important. My sweater, my I feel s**tty about my first relationship, too. And I would urge those women it's OK to have those security blankets and to want to feel seen, but at the same time. Write your own 1989. Get out and don't live fanatically through someone else's life. Have interesting stories about yourself that make people want to gravitate to you in the same way. I think, yeah, they live by Carrie. That was brilliant. That was brilliant. Sally inside Typekit cold. Read that as that is exactly what it is. Yeah. Here's the hot one. He's the gay one. I need to be the interesting part. You can be the smart one. Hey, you know what? I've never been known for my brains, that's for sure. I kind of agree that may shock you. It doesn't matter. Well, because I'm not. I don't know. I'm not the brainiac. I don't know, honestly. This doesn't shock you. No, not at all, really. Well, I think all of you all are very, very, very smart. Oh, really? Thank you. That's the first time I've heard that in a while. I'm not mad at Taylor Swift because she is energizing Gen-Xers register. Hmm. So I'm in. Oh, I like all the help we can get. I'm with, I'm with, I'm with you. I think our take away today is the bedding lesbian relationship right between Pops and I think we're going to go. I think we're going to phone being together for. I think that's what we're going to do. We might lift the ban permanently. MM if fear and came to Oklahoma will take you to a Thunder game. Yeah, I mean, you go look at these pothole covers, OK, us like an icy story. There was a method to our madness, right? We knew what white women love the most being ignored completely. Exactly right? That's that is. It works like a charm that looked like normie. You played us like a f**king fit. You wanted this bad a*s. You had to come in. We had to be effortlessly cool and like, not caring too. Yeah, that's how it was. You pulled it off. We did things lately. OK, listener, what we're going to do is I think we started a cult on our patron. It's called the cult of the titty mamas or the city mom. And I think I'm already in that members, the members of the culture, the titty baby. So we'll talk to them about where this is just been a temporary lift. This temporary, we'll report back and let you know what the results. You'll be crying continue. And right now we're going to talk to the teddy babies where the teddy mamas. But thank you guys so much. Thank you so much. I'm fine. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for hosting us here in your house anytime. Oh, this is your house, but anytime, anytime. All right. How can our how can our listeners that don't know about Twitch don't know about all this crazy s**t that they'll do? How can they find you? I'm live every day, often from 11 a.m. Pacific. Uh, at Twitch.tv. I'll Abby. It's like YouTube. But for live streaming, I do a news broadcast for around eight to 10 hours every day. Psychotic? Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I never see him. Hassan Abby is the is the is my username on most platforms except for on Twitter. It's Hassan the Hun. And that's it. That's where you can find me about you guys. I host shows sometimes on Twitch. I'm coming out with a new show coming out with a new show called In the Tub with the Austin Show Where It's Me in a bathtub. I haven't worked out the details yet, but it'll it's going to expand into a traveling show where I go to other people's baths. You can. Yeah, it's going to be tough with, by the way, you're doing that show with me, and so are you where we're in your bathtub and you're doing a show in your back like I like know I'm will. I'm a former comic and now I do like a film class and kind of a little of my which every night at 7:00 p.m. West Coast time. OK, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah. And we're going to the Fear and podcast. We're three out of four of us. You can find us on YouTube Fear, and that's where we were missing our lovely, beautiful kudi Cinderella. Yeah. And female energy. Yeah, yeah. Three to three. It would have been. It would have been, too. She didn't make the cut misogynist. Yeah, we are talking about misogyny. Yes, absolutely. And homophobia. That's right. Which which makes it uncomfortable for her and myself, comfortable in the limelight, to be content, to be gay bashing. It's my favorite. OK, so we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. You guys are amazing. With tear, I've had it with that.
Comments