Ryan Tedder

Transcript

Pick your perk at Cork's quintessential hotel, the four star Metropole Hotel in the heart of the city enjoy a two night stay with breakfast on each morning, dinner on an evening of your choice and tickets to one of Cork's top tourist attractions. Prices from just 219 euro per person sharing. See the Metropole Hotel dossier to book. OK, that's on. OK. Check Check was actually going to be recording now. Tom, just so you know. All right, Tom. OK, three one. Know what you're going to. You want to get out somewhere. You want me to know? Well, I'm ready. Three, two one. So three two one two. OK. We are in New York City. So first time doing our podcast abroad. Yes, we are with Jackson Britney when reality hits. How's everybody doing? We have a very special guest on today. Mr. Tom Schwartz, who he loves so much. Jackson's man of what's it called best man in our plane? Hello, Tom. Thanks for being here today. I love you both. It's an honor to be here. I love New York City. Shout out in New York City, my favorite city on the planet. I know you told me you're coming here Friday. I think we leave on Thursday. So we're going to we're going to be crossing each other in the sky, I think. Yes. And Tom, thank you so much for doing this with us. I know everybody is dying to hear a little bit of your side of the story and I'm sure you're so tired are talking about it just like everyone else. So we appreciate you. I owe him a big stake coming in steak dinner. Yeah, yeah. Just just looking what I've gleaned from the internet and being in the bars with everybody who watches the show every night as people are a little fatigued, but also they're just like this thing sort of just captivated the nation. It's so bizarre and stop. And it's like, Oh, by the way, should I get my fish sauce so I can mix up a nice little world word salad for you guys? Oh, please, no, no jacks are not the ones for that. We're not. We're not. We're not very wordy. Remember, I'm a country girl. Yeah, and I'm just I got a comedian at a community college education here. So I feel that if that's that spread everyone listening, there'll be no grand eloquence. And also, this will not be a journey into talking a lot without saying a little, without saying anything. But I'll do my best to be concise and not ramble. You got it wrong on our part. No touched words. We just love you. So, guys, why do you think that this did get so big? Like what? We're getting right into it? Yeah, I just it's crazy how big it got. Before we dive in, can I can I plug myself stars on Mars up? Oh yeah, I was going to ask you about that, but we were going to get into that. But go ahead. No, we don't have to get into it. Just like I just want to say, there was such a strange, wonderful, bizarre experience. I'm so grateful I got to do it. We filmed and Coober Pedy, which is the opal mining capital of the world in Australia, but it really felt like Mars. And I just want to say I'm so grateful for the opportunity. Like it was so weird waking up to Lance Armstrong every morning and like, you know, I have Marshawn Lynch walking into the room, roasting me about Richard Sherman, Adam Rippon, Christopher Mintz was my bunkmate. I got top bunk. By the way, Jackson, I know you love top banks. Oh, okay, what's your favorite cast member? Oh, I hit it off. This is such a Schwartz answer, but I really kind of hit it off with everybody. Ronda Rousey, Tinashe Ariel Winter Winter was on there. You know that was Jax is like, It's my crush for a long time. I was like, I did know. I did know that. I did know that. But it was so fun. And I'm just I'm grateful that I got to do it. It's a soup. Like the budget and the production value is insane. It really it looks like the Martian when you watch it back, really? So what's the premise of it? It's like, so it's a simulation. We all go to Mars and William Shatner is the host, and he sort of beams in our missions for the day and we have to complete those. And at the end of it, the the bottom three are deemed mission noncritical or potentially mission noncritical. And then one, there's one elimination each day because, you know, we don't have enough rations for everyone to stay there. Oh, that's great. That's a hell of a rule. How cool that William Shatner did it like. That's perfect. I mean, I know you can't say anything about it. Obviously, I know how these shows work. But were you happy with the outcome? I'll just say that, Michael, I honestly, I went up there to sort of like just reset my mind and I and I accomplished that. And it was just it was awesome, man. It was impossible to do that because I know everybody on the cast has been so stressed. Yeah, I mean, it's like before. Yeah. And I want to preface like before I tell you what you couldn't, you couldn't have picked a better place to go to Australia to clear your head. That's for sure. Dude, I'm in love with Sydney, by the way. I'm in my honeymoon phase with Sydney. It's awesome al a day like like Aussies in general. Shout out to Australia. My God, I love it and I'm so warm and welcoming. And yeah, before we. Yeah, I was gonna say before we dive into this, I wanted to say, I hope I don't sound like I'm like ever rationalizing or justifying this whole affair because it's indefensible. Yeah, OK, it's indispensable. And I just wanted to add like a little bit of, you know, a little bit of like background, context or nuance to see where my mindset was, you know, and unfortunately for Sandoval, when you have a full blown affair with one of your closest friends, you, you forgo the benefit or the luxury of nuance and context and. I know I know Tom is itching to tell more of his side of the story, but like when you have a full blown affair, I'm going to say it again, your side of the story becomes obsolete. Yes, 100 percent I agree with you becomes obsolete. That's and I listen. I don't. Tom will never listen to this. But like, he needs to lose the ego. Yes, he needs a brain part humility and just say, I'm sorry, not I'm sorry. But exactly. I know you said this a million times like you got to stop the. But after in the like in just just say, Hey, you know what? I left up, I left up. I'm sorry, I screwed up. I'm a human being, you know, and move on. I'm glad to hear this from you, though, Tom, because I know you guys were super close and I know this has affected your life and your businesses and everything like that as well. So, you know, and we know you're a good guy, and we also felt like you were put in a hard, really hard position. But we also wanted to give you the space to talk freely without being, like, talked over or anything like that to where you can, like, say, your piece. And because I know that you love Ariana too, and I'm sure that you did not want anything to happen to her like this? No, I mean, I just feel terrible about the whole, the whole thing, the way it played out. I feel, you know, everyone's like, you're complicit, you're just as guilty as him. And I'm like, But you're not. You're not his father, though you can't. You can. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. And I know that. I know you said something. I know you said, Hey, listen, you need to come clean, but you can only do so much. And at the end of the day, it's not really your job, but we need to let it. We need to hear it from Tucker because he hasn't had a chance to to say that's okay. And I feel like, Yeah, and that's OK. But Jax, I'm going to piggyback off what you just said and like just to give people a little context. Like I was going through the most intense year of my entire life. My father fell, hit his head. He had a brain bleed him pulmonary embolisms. Yeah, he ended up having Graham's tracheotomy. At one point, he had a five percent chance of living. He was in three different hospitals for seven months, and it was just it. Honestly, it was one of the most intense experiences of my life, all while trying to open the bar. You know, like we went way over budget. We're behind schedule. My brother got diagnosed with testicular cancer. So he's doing chemotherapy. My other brother is in rehab. Some other stuff that I am not comfortable talking about in my family. But I get the reason. The reason I'm saying this right now is not to try to evoke sympathy if anyone's listening. It's just to try to give you a little idea of how little bandwidth I had. I was just like like my my, my adrenal glands were f**king fried. I felt like I was in constant flight or fight. And maybe, maybe, maybe selfishly, I was self-involved by necessity. Like, opening a bar is f**king intense. And when you couple that with what Tom Sandoval, the narrative that he had told me, you know this whole, he sold me a s**t bill of goods, apparently, because, you know, Ariana's side of the story is completely different. He was telling me that he had been trying to break up with her over the course of many months. He tried, I think, said three times he had this whole. By the way, I'm not breathing life into this narrative of Ariana ever hears this because I don't want to do that. But you know, his version of the story is that she treats them like s**t. She belittles him. They have no intimacy and that there are more or less just roommates now, you know. And there you go. But as a family, I will say as somebody who was viewing it because we weren't on the show, so we were actually like on the other side of it this year. So we have a little bit of a different perspective. But as somebody who was viewing it, it just looked like he only started saying this stuff because he was like trying, like he was like trying to blame Ariana for what was happening. Like, that's what it looks like. You know what I mean? It looks like he was trying to blame her for him doing this whole affair, which is insane. I'm Bret. I'm glad you said that because it's really messed up when people when people try to shift the blame in a situation. Yes. You know, you know, like to to do it to imply, like you should have known, all the signs were there. That's vile, you know? And that was really hard to watch. And I've talked with Ariana and I know that that like upset her having like, see this stuff because she, you know, after finding out that you did know about things, you know, she kind of felt like you were like involved more so then. Yeah, I mean, if you watched the show, it looks like my world revolves around Tom Sandoval. Everyone outside of this little world, you know, the show's very authentic and the editors do a f**king awesome job. But like you would think, my life revolves around Tom Sandoval and Raquel. And like, it could not be further from the truth. Like, I'm Tom Schwartz. I did not have an affair with Ariana, right? I mean, you know, like, like, this is not my life. But yes, I'm an unfortunate confidant. And yeah, man, it's like, you know, I don't, you know, I don't. Every time I try to, like, recount the whole timeline, I end up looking like a bigger idiot because it's not my story to. Hell, and no matter what they show on the show, whatever Tom or Rachel says, no one's going to ever know that full story, except for Tom Sandoval and Raquel, you know? All right, we all know as parents that it can be hard to find creative ways to keep your kids busy challenge and off their screens. Luckily, Kiwi Co does this legwork for you so you can spend quality time tackling projects together. Kimiko is super cool subscription box for your kids that offers multiple lines of fun and enriching projects that are designed to spark creativity, innovation and learning. They have developmentally appropriate projects for every child and interest level, from newborn to teens. Kiwi Co has developed over 2000 projects in STEM Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and math. Cruise absolutely loves that he's got this little koala bear that he got, and he loves it. It's so great for him. We want to teach him as much as we can, and we love keeping him off the iPad. 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Like people think Tom Sandoval was like coaching me on what to say, which could not be further from the truth. You know what I mean? I'm off my little Tom Schwartz bubble, but from what I know is that they hug. By the way, I threw out a random date just because everyone's like, You better get your story straight. We're coming for you. You better get your timeline straight. I'm like, you guys. I did not mark this on my calendar, OK? I'm absolutely consumed with my own life, and I'll tell you what I know, but I threw out a random date. I have no idea when he told me, but it was around sometime in like late August ish. I don't know, sometime in the summer after the wedding. Oh, so 100 percent. You found out after the wedding, not before the wedding. Yes, we had theories that Tom Sandoval like was encouraging you to make out because now our viewers. OK, so we got a different view of everything. So we had we had we were thinking that maybe Sandoval was like trying to have you like, kiss her to throw off the scent from what was going on between them, too? Yeah, no, that's not true. And by the way, I mean, we could even a little bit if it's not true now, it's even a little bit more weird. Why would he do that? Oh, no, it's not true. We didn't mean Raquel. Like, listen, we never had real chemistry. It was never going anywhere. But like, I guess I was, I was like, kind of a sad little sack of s**t. And it was like, I guess it was convenient. It just was such an innocent kiss. And had I known like it would have hurt Katie so much, I would have never done that. You know, I, she said, it really was sad to see. Honestly, I know and I know and you know, you know, my knee jerk reaction was like, discount her feelings and minimize it. Because like, I was thinking from my perspective, if I had divorced Katie and then five months later, she kissed someone in our friend group, even in spite of our informal agreement not to hook up with like people in the friend group, I would be like, You know what? Good for you. Hell yeah. Well, I really think you would be like that because I don't think you one hundred percent if I don't think so. If I divorced her and it was like five months later and I had been dating other girls and everything like. But anyways, I don't want to continue to, like, minimize it because it really hurt Katie's feelings. Yes, I and I'm sorry for that. But but like sometime around that time, I still don't know where or when. The first time they hooked up is apparently it was in a car outside on like outside of Tom's house or something. And then he went out the door to get in the house and she had to answer. Right? Yes, it's OK. I know, I know. I did know about. I knew that they had a one night stand and he told me this, apparently. Listen, I don't know what's going to come out, but it's looking like it now. It's like starting to look like it just never stopped. You know, I like. Is that going to be the big news? I mean, we haven't seen the final reunion just yet. Obviously, this is going to come out tomorrow. Tomorrow night of the reunion. So we're so like wondering what it is that you know what going to be, do you know at the beginning? I have no idea, and I don't want to spoil it. But if I had to guess, it would probably just be that they'd never stopped hooking up. Or maybe they hooked up even earlier than they first. I guess that was my guess, too. Yeah. Yeah, it's nothing that I didn't think it was already going to happen. So it's OK, it's OK. But everybody in the world is speculating is that it's going to be like that. They were hooking up even when she was with James. That's what a lot of people are thinking I've seen on the internet. I just had a piggyback after the Katy situation. I'm sorry because this is a question I had. What is your current situation with Katie right now? Just because we were just talking about that? How is everything going with you? Two? Well, I still love her. I mean, respectfully, not like in love with her, but you know, I still love her and care about her a lot. And we're cordial. But she's so busy opening up our sandwich shop, which looks f**king awesome. So props to Rihanna and Katie because I know how hard it is and how many moving pieces and how much time, energy, sweat, blood love goes into that. So, so loads of them. So we're cordial, but you know, it's not like we're BFFs. We're not like going out and getting dinner, but we're cool. And yeah, that's. I don't know. That was one thing that made me really sad. It's like because we had you guys know, you know, we were together 12 years and we had this. Yeah, I know complex. We were both in your old wedding and, you know, we loved it, guys, and we always want the best for both of you, no matter what. So I know, I know you also went through the divorce, how to sell your house, and I know that that was hard on both of you guys. Yeah, that's another thing. It's like, Yeah, so I'm starting to jump all over the place. But yeah, so I was like, Yeah, getting the divorce. Even though it was amicable, it's been stressful to get divorced and move all of your s**t out of your house and do a little sad bachelor pad. And it's like that with my family completely stop and it just opening the bar and being like four months behind schedule overleverage. Ourselves, financially, it's like it was just very intense. And again, the reason I bring this up is just to so people can get an idea of how, like, how consumed I was in my own little world. And maybe, maybe that's one of my regrets is that I just I was so kind of like nonchalant about this, and I just I just accepted everything that Sandoval told me about it. You know, why would I? Why would I not believe him, you know? So to make things clear, really fast, Tom, because you said that he did tell you he had a one night stand. So did he tell you about the one night stand before Sheen as well as I've been told it was after the what it was, it was after the wedding. And then and then we had like this moment where we sat down and he's like, Dude, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm losing. I feel like me and Arianna are inevitably going to break up. Maybe I'm naive for saying this and people are going to gag. But from my point of view, with all the s**t going on in my life, the little bandwidth I had to assign to his life, it just seemed like things kind of went back to normal for a while. It didn't feel weird around them, you know? And like, yeah, we did. We all hung out. But they were good. They always they always had people around them as buffers. In hindsight, like, I feel like I kind of got used a little bit. I really do feel like I got that. He feels like he got, I dunno, I was just trying to tap into that. I fully. I believe that because I feel like and I'm not just saying this because I'm your friend, but I do feel like Tom Sandoval does take advantage of you, of your kindness and you are he. He 100 percent does. You can tell me that I'm lying, but I 100 percent believe and I'm never wrong. You know that I'm never. I honestly thinks he takes a little bit of advantage of your kindness with not only just that, I think with the bar, with the scheduling, with him going on tour and you guys are in the middle of opening a bar. And just I think with a lot of things, not just this in general, but I'm talking about this goes back 12 years with a lot of different things. I think he kind of takes your kindness, you know, and kind of uses it a little bit. I mean, do you agree or you disagree? I do. I in this in this case in particular, I really feel like he exploited me because, you know, I do love Tom and I. I took to heart everything he told me about like Ariana, like I. And now, now that I've heard her side of the story, yeah, I'm just she is, like, vehemently denied all of this stuff. Oh yeah. You insinuated that I there's certain things I don't want to say anymore. I don't want to say what what you're comfortable with. Yeah, say what you're going to call it. But I definitely think that he is saying a whole different side of what she was saying. I mean, she was like, we were he was talking about that. They broke up on Valentine's Day. That was not true. Like, she completely denies all of that. And I believe Ariana, I think that's an open relationship and a hot tub. I think that saying of all was trying to just make himself look better for the things that he did to her. And that's my honest opinion because he is like one of the most hated people right now because this went so crazy. So I think that he might be trying to use all anything he can to make her look bad. And that's so terrible because she was the one that was so hurt in this situation. And I do I do think he he does the coaching thing because we were watching the reunion on the way here from the airport and how mad he got at the cameras for not wanting to film him with her by himself for one minute workouts. Like, why couldn't? Yeah, he was wanted to film. He wanted to hang out with Raquel during the lunch break without them while you were doing pushups. I want to know our joke is that we'll get into that a second while joking that he wanted to be with Raquel for a good five minutes, and he's telling the producers this Can I just be alone? Why do you need the cameras not to be there unless you're coaching her on what to say? There's no reason for the cameras to go away because you should be able to say whatever you want in front of everybody, because that's the show we signed up for. Well, and they said, Raquel said something like, I can't remember word for word, what she said, but it was so embarrassing to watch. She says something like we haven't lied about anything other than the affair. Oh, like, oh my gosh. That's like everything. So what do you have to do? That's a dude. That's a big one. That's I mean, that's that's a big one. Well, no. But listen, I agree with everything you guys are saying. I mean, I know we started talking about the timeline and then I guess in hindsight, even when I didn't know, I knew because I listen, even if they didn't, even if they did stop hooking up until, you know, around like January, he came to me and told me that he's in love and it's like a real deal. And he's going to, you know, he's 100 percent is breaking up with Ariana. He's already tried before, but like, this is not like just like a fling. He's in love. And then, you know, and in in hindsight, you know, thinking back, I mean, at the very last minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I don't mean to cut you off. But what about like you didn't even like, think it was like you didn't feel I know you and I know you get uncomfortable. And in weird situations, you going to tell me that you are not uncomfortable at all during Big Bear when you guys are all for you? Oh yeah, yeah. By the way, so uncomfortable for you, I think. Thanks. Actually, thanks for bringing that up, because that is the perfect example of Tom being incredibly selfish and almost in his like, almost like rabid dog in pursuit of pleasure with this affair. He put a lot of his friends, not just me. A lot of his friends in very uncomfortable situations, we had a trip planned for a long time. We were hyped about it. The bar's open, we're going snowboarding. And then last second, he's like, By the way, you know, I want to bring you know who. And yeah, it made me feel super uncomfortable. I barely saw it. I barely saw her. So I don't. It's like she came out with us snowboarding. She was like, in hiding. It's just right. It's dude, that's he really, really just like, got lost in the sauce and was like, you know, it's that whole trip up there. Did you guys go together? Did you drive up there together all for you? Yeah, me and Tom did not recall that or she came separately. Me and Tom growing up there. And that's just, yeah, that. And like, you know, at any time, did you at any time say, Hey, after a couple drinks be like, Hey, what are you doing? Just what are you doing, man? What are you doing? By that point? By that point that that's when I really started to listen. Relatively speaking, Schwartz styles like, Dude, you have to f**king tell Ariana, he's like, I know, like, I'm going to I'm going to and end, and I'm like, I'm pretty much I've pretty much broken up with her. I'm like, Well, what does that mean? Yeah. That's why all we do. Yeah. Don't try to break up with someone. Well, like you said, I was sorry. I don't. I want you to keep talking to. I'm sorry, I don't have so many questions for you. Please jump in at any time. But around that time is like, Yeah, we're like that for me. From my point of view, that's that's when things really like the tide turn. I was like, Oh my God, this is like a full blown affair. Like, how did we not know that she was up there with Tom? So she didn't know if I go check the Mail Britney and I'm longer than five minutes. Britney's called the cops she didn't know. I don't think there was any like photos posted with her there, and I don't think that Ariana thought anything was going on to even like, worry about that, you know what I mean? But I know she wasn't worried about that, but they went out to dinner, right? The all for you guys went out to dinner. I'm sure somebody saw you guys out there. I'm sure somebody saw you out there that you know that. Yeah, so it was probably like, What the hell are these four doing together? Whether you're trying to drink more water or less soda, hint is here to help. Let me just tell you that I love hint water so much. We got like three cases and we've already went through them all. I bring them every time we record our podcast. I put them in Cruz's water bottles and everything because they are so good for you. They're all natural flavors. We literally went through three cases in like two days. Yeah, they don't have all that extra like fake sweeteners and all that stuff in there. 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It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule, which is also amazing because you can pick whenever it's right for you. You don't have to go on someone else's schedule, and that's awesome. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential with better help. Visit BetterHelp.com/ reality hits today to get 10 percent off your first month. That's better help h e l p.com/ reality hits. By the way, I know I don't have just just for everybody knows I don't, I'm not dating anyone. I don't have a secret girlfriend that lives with me. OK, I'm single and not ready to mingle. Hey, that's cool. All right. It's not right. I like that. Yeah, OK. Yeah, because a lot of people think that you are dating Joe and you're not going to talk bad about her anything. But I just I just want you to be able to clear it up that you are not in a relationship. And I've told people that ask me that I always say Tom is not in a relationship. Does that Joe girl hang around? Yes. Is he in or? Yeah, no. There's he's allowed to have female friends. You can do whatever he wants, but they're not in a relationship. And I've said that many times. Thanks. Thanks. By the way, I think she's hilarious. Beautiful, talented. Joe's the s**t. I just don't want to go for it. I just got out of a 12 year relationship. But, but going back, going back to what we were talking about, I think you know that that trip. It makes me feel rotten because I am guilty of just being too complacent and just almost like turning a blind eye. But it was. I'm not going to lie in my defense based on the information that Tom Sandoval had given me about his relationship. Like, you know, he's one of my closest friends and I thought about what he was selling with the little bandwidth and attention span I had to like, you know, give to this whole situation. I believed him and like I said before it. And from what Arianna saying, it's all bulls**t. He sold me a s**t bill of goods and I and I just, I don't know. Maybe that's one of my biggest regrets is maybe I. I wish I would have done more due diligence. I don't know if maybe I should've gave him an ultimatum or not. Like, I just now. I mean, yeah, actually, that was one of my like. It shouldn't. And if he doesn't tell Arianna, were you going to? Because I know that I mean, Arianna was in your wedding on your side as well. So I know that you love her as well. And I know, of course, that was such a hard position for you to be in, but you had to just notice how terrible this was, you know, totally. And I I don't know. I try not to have regrets in life, but I wish I could have. Sorry. I mean, it's to work. Tell. That was my next question was, do you have any regrets? And I just wanted to elaborate on that. Do you have any regrets? If so, what? What are they? That's yeah, I yeah, I just know it's OK, you guys. Please jump in at any time or riff and I love you guys, but I will. Yeah, yeah, I I. I do regret kissing Raquel in Mexico because of how much I hurt Katie. It was a little selfish, but I was also falling apart. And and in regards to like this whole affair, I just my my biggest regret is how just nonchalant I was about it. You know, it looks like I was just like coconspirator, and I just wasn't. I was an unfortunate confidant and I really bought the story. He told me, you know, I bought like, I don't want to keep repeating it kind of center on your life type of person. Like I know, like I said, I know you pretty well, you got your own s**t going on. And I think it's not talked about enough about what you are going on with your personal life, your family, your father and all that. That that was a huge, huge, huge weight on you. And then you have to deal with this on the side. It's like in this and to be honest, what you do with your family, this kind of stuff is menial. When you've got all these big deal things going on with your family. But also, I wonder, do you personally know as a person, you just kind of be like, Listen, I don't have the time for this. I don't have to tell you all this because I got my dad's in the hospital, my brother's in rehab, my other brother's got cancer like I can't. I'm trying to open a bar, you know? Yeah, I understand. I swear. I, you know, I have sympathy for you a little bit on that right, of course. And I hate that your family's going through all that and I'm praying for them and I hope that they are doing better. One. Like I said, thanks, Bret, and I'm not. I'm not using that as an excuse. I'm just trying to let people inside of my mindset at the time, you know? No, honestly, I really was just so f**king consumed with my own life. And I really I really believed what Tom Sandoval told me in it. And it made me so mad at Tom of all. Like, have you talked to him about how s**tty of a person he was to even you? Yeah. Where do you guys stay? Yeah, I know you said he has apologized. He has apologized to me a lot. And by the way, I'm glad you said, I'm glad you brought that up because they got one thing. You know, I'm in the bars every single week. I'm in shorts and Santis, I'm in Tom-Tom. And one thing I've gleaned from a lot of patrons and people who like the show is, first of all, like, yeah, they're like repulsed and disgusted by this whole thing. It's vile. It's like indefensible. But like, they're like one thing they always say is, we're like, you know, from our point of view, it doesn't seem like he has like remorse or contrition, and like Riquelme in it further exacerbates the situation. Tom has apologized to me a lot. You know, I feel like he's apologized to you more than he has. The Ariana Grande lyrics in his song In His Band about how the foam fell out like he's almost making fun of this situation was like when he goes on this tour, he's changed. He's talking the songs, elaborating about how the phone fell out of his pocket about how Raquel knew and. He's almost making fun of it, like I'm just going along with it, which that's I mean, the lack of empathy and the scary part, the sociopath. Yeah. And well, in just the part that he, you know, I'm glad that he's apologized to you. But like, I just feel like there just needs to be so much more towards Arianna, because that's just this is, you know what me I went through with Jack. It wasn't near as public, but it was so hard to have to live through that publicly. You know, like whenever he cheated and all that, that was so hard for me. So I can't even I can feel for Arianna and what she had to go through during all of this. And I'm glad because she's like, thriving now. She's doing so good. I feel like she's happier. A weitzman lifted off of our shoulder and hopefully, like, she just will just be like the queen of everything now and just have the best life. That's all I want for her. She's literally booked every commercial. Yeah, she's doing. She's killing it right now. She's absolutely killing it. And I'm happy because she deserves that because this was like super public and so hard to go through publicly and then had to relive it all like months later on the show again. And you know, that's hard. That's really hard. It's what a bizarre experience you must feel like. She's in The Truman Show, Tom, too. It's like I, but I am. I am happy. It makes me happy to see her thrive. And I think her and Sheena threw out the first pitch at the Padres game was like, Oh, she's ubiquitous, man, she's going everywhere. She's yeah, and she's crushing it and. Yeah, man, I started down with those big words that I'm going through my thesaurus pick with this, the whole word is out of here like, Oh, look, yeah, exactly you, by the way. So you pick, Yes. I got I got absolutely roasted for my watch What Happens Live debacle. I was just a rambling fool, but in the moment it made sense. Sweetie, what are you? A little bit, too, but it's all out of love. You know that. Yeah, it's all farm man. I just I watch you on that reunion. Like I said, we watched the reunion because we got to recap it on the podcast. But God you I'd never seen you look is uncomfortable, as you did on that reunion. Like you were literally like deer in headlights. You are a deer in headlights. You look pale. You looked uncomfortable. You look like, get me the f out of here like you were just not wanting any part of that. I could just tell. I could tell your insides you were just like, like I said, I know you pretty well and I just you were uncomfortable as hell uncomfortable. I wanted to click my heels together and disappear so bad. I was just a sad old meat sack, sitting there with a half a Xanax in my system. Just like trying to do some sort of like transcendental meditation or be, I mean, listen, I have to we have to be present. You guys have done a ton of these reunions at the same time, like just being strategically seated right next to Tom and Raquel. I'm like, Oh my God, this is going to be imprinted in people's minds now. It's just like, Oh wow, it corroborates that we were some sort of like rumble or whatever the people think. I don't know. I hate that people think that you were, like, super involved in it. Have you talked to Ariana very much and like, tried to apologize to her for knowing or how is anything like that went down between you? Two? We had a brief moment towards the end of the season, but it was maybe like, you know, we chatted for like 30 minutes, but I just giving her space. I don't think she wants to see me and I don't blame her. You know, based on the way everything played out and all this came out, I just it looks I look like I'm, you know, Tom's and wingman or something, you know? And it's like, maybe she thinks to a little, you know, that's I guess I guess to some extent I was, you know, based on what he had told me. I really. I just really like to sustain my my trust. And this is just the confidence at the top of my head. Do you think now like today, are you? Do you think that you need to? Maybe I hate this. It's not you. Are you going to step back from your friendship at all? Are you going to play it safe now? I mean, how do you go about your friendship slash business partner? How do you move on from this? Yeah, I mean, let's heal. I guess he made a big mess and you know, he left, he left. He left for us to clean up back at the businesses. And, you know, and it's it's it's hard for me not to be resentful of him. I'm definitely I'm taking a break from time right now. I haven't seen him, but I'm glad to hear that, Tom. That makes me happy, honestly, because you just have to have that space and be able to like focus in, like, you know, have your time. And I know like how devoted you are to your bars like you are at Tom Tom, you are at Swartz and Sandy's all the time and you love talking to people and you're so good at what you do. And I feel like he just like, took off on this tour. I'm Lola and I'm Megan, and we're the host of Trust Me, got extreme belief and manipulation. We both have childhood cult experiences and we're here to debunk the myths about people who join them and show that anyone can be manipulated. Our past interviews include survivors and former members of the Manson family Nexium, Ms 13, Teal Swan, Heaven's Gate, Children of God and the Branch Davidians. Join us every week as we help you spot the red flags. Get new episodes of Trust Me every Wednesday on podcast land or wherever you get your podcasts. By the way, hold on, hold on. I'm going to tell short something because I don't think you know this. The other day, my phone got a text message and guess who it was from? Whom Tom said of all. Oh, my God, really? He texted me. We have not sent each other a text message since July 8th, 2020, whenever I said, Happy belated birthday. Sorry, I'm a day late I'm going through because it was whatever. My mom was sick in Kentucky and I was like, I hope you're doing great and had a wonderful day. He didn't respond or anything like that. Thursday, May 25th. He texted me this yo brit. Hope you're doing well. Our band is playing in Louisville, Kentucky, on six one. If any of your fans and family or friends want to come to the show, just let me know and I could put them on my list. Hey, Laura's Music Hall Thursday six one that doesn't sell, say, tone deaf or selfishness, then I don't know what does. Like that is the most tone deaf thing you can possibly say. You touched on my wife. I was just so shocked that he texted me that because, like I said, we hadn't talked in so long. I'm obviously on Ariana, sad about all of this, and I just like thought that was kind of crazy. Like, Why would I work my family and friends to go to that? You know, like, I don't know. It was just so bizarre to me, and I feel like that's kind of how he's been about this whole situation. I just can't believe that he texted me that out of nowhere, you know, and I know he was like, in his mind, probably trying to think that it was a nice thing, but I was just kind of like, Whoa, this is. I was just very bizarre to me. I know I just dropped the atomic bomb on the whole world. But but this is a total time thing to say. But do you want to come to my concert in lieu of such a move that he would do? And it's just so bizarre. And that brings me back to the lack of empathy, the tone deafness, the selfishness like, are you? Are you mad? Do you honestly think my wife would be like, Hold on, let me call my friends like, like, Are you serious? Is it bizarre? I think he's going through something. He's got to have be having a midlife crisis or whatever, because nobody in this world acts like this. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like, I'm happy for him. I know he's very passionate about the band, but like the optics of it, I'm just not it from my point of view, but people see that he's up there and he's, you know, singing his heart out. He's got his shirt off. It just looks like he has no contrition or it looks like he just doesn't. Do you have a kid who's living on his rock star dreams and good for him? But it just man. And I think that's that's one thing I've gleaned from like, I look people in the restaurant. They don't, they just don't understand, like the lack of remorse. I know he. I know he regrets it, but like, he doesn't do a good job of showing that and he just it's he's got it. I'll say it again. He's got to drop the ego man, half the military and stop. Like, I want to say this again for emphasis, man. When you have a full blown affair, your side of the story ceases to exist. It is obsolete and in just you just kind of move forward. And Raquel, like just how she like smiles and stuff. Talking about it like that almost made me throw up. I could not believe that she was just pouring in air from either ear, from ear to ear about it. I was like, What is happening right now? Every week I go back and forth, I'm like, Is she an idiot? Or she calculated, like, I can't figure her out. Like, I can't tell if she's smart or she's just really dumb. But I want to know, is it not because there's some weeks or I'm like, She's a moron, and I'm like, and then I'm like, Wait a minute, maybe she's calculated like, I can't figure it out. And I honest people, I usually can read people pretty well, and I can't read her at all. It seems like remember emotions either. Yeah, she doesn't just you guys just reminded me of what an Andy said, and I remember Andy on Watch What Happens. I was like, sorry, like, are you mad at Raquel? And I, I think I said something like, I don't. Not really, actually, which I know she's just as guilty. I mean, it's cold-blooded. Oh, yeah, what she did. But like, from my point of view, it kind of just seemed like she was along for the ride. I got to be careful what I say. I don't see. I believe that too. I don't know. And Tom was had like this dogged pursuit of pleasure. I've never, I think. Yeah. I mean, I think it is midlife crisis. He like it is. It's like, I think he kind of like he blew away a little bit of a diva mentality where you say I'm untouchable, you know you that that's how I stole sunglasses. And then it was you did a lot more than just your sunglasses. You went through a lot. You went through a lot of stupid stuff, too, but you learn and grow from it. And I just don't see anything like that happening with Tom right now. Not you, Tom. The other Tom. No, I get it. I love to see you guys. Ajax, I love your. I love your comeuppance. I love that you've reformed your great dad. You're turning your life. I mean, what has been a great person? Well, he had a big heart and a big heart. I like, well, I don't. I'm not a malicious. I do a lot of stupid stuff. But that's because I like to get a rise out of people. But I don't do anything like malicious or anything. Just ask you like one more question, Tom, because I know we've covered you for a while. It's OK, but I want to control. I want to go back to how sane of all told you that he was in love with her. I'm just wondering, just like the rest of the world, are they still in love? Are they together? Like what is happening? Because it kind of pisses me off if they're not together after they blew everybody's lives up? You know what I mean? Like, if they're not even together now, what in the world is happening? That was the last thing I said to him before we left the reunion, I was like, Dude, after all the s**t that you put me through and everyone else around you through is like, You better marry this girl. Mean, I'm I'm I'm happy to report that. I have no idea. I have no clue. And it could not make me happier. I don't want to know any. Oh, so you're that like far away from him? Like, you're not even talking to him right now about stuff? No, he's been on tour nonstop, so I haven't I haven't seen him or talked to him in a long time. I mean, he's but he's been on tour for like months, which I probably is good for his mental health. Not that anyone cares about that. And I'm certainly not going to make the mistake of advocating for hugs for Sandoval again. No, no. It's just a I just as a reminder to people out there, it's like, Oh my God, there's like I had some of the toxicity and I can't imagine the damage that they're getting and stuff. And just a reminder to people out there. It's like, what's that? A quote from that one philosopher, dude? It's like when you're when you're fighting monsters, be careful that you don't become one. It's like, Holy s**t, I get this a super stuff. And people are just like, disgusted by the whole thing in it. But like I, people are just online are scary sometimes. Holy s**t. And then through that mob mentality, even like Arianna was talking to me, like, she still can get like people. Of course, she's got so many more people in her corner that are supporting her, but she even gets like main messages about things, and it's just so crazy that people online do that to anybody. I mean, I'll post, you know, and they talk about how I look. When I do that, I took Jack's back like, people talk so much crap on Instagram, and if they come up to our faces, it's not normally like that. Like, Oh, nobody's really going to say that to your face, ever, but it just sucks on Instagram and all that kind of stuff. Bullies can just say whatever they want and think they're getting away with it. It just is so annoying to me. Keyboard warrior Brett Foley. You guys, you're so right. And listen, I don't know if we blame the algorithms or what, but like, you know, I actually I was I was watching this YouTube clip the other day with some, I think, Steve Harvey or Shannon Sharpe, and they're talking about how Denzel schooled them on the difference between like a movie star and a TV star movies. You've got to you've got to get in the car, get dressed up, go spend money on the ticket. But like people on TV like you invite them into your living rooms. It's like, you know, you're like part of the family. Yeah, especially reality TV. And I love that we have like and that's the coolest thing about the bar. Like, yes, it's a it's like a pair of social relationship until they come in the bar. And then that's s**t like transcends that. We're hugging, we're taking half shots and it's so fun. What was it? What was my point of all point being, Oh, I got it. I got to my point. The point being is, I feel like that's why, like the outpouring of like hate and disappointment has been so intense. I think I feel like these people have grown with us for 10 years. They've allowed us to be. They've allowed Tom Sandoval to be in his their living rooms for 10 years and then it's like, it's like their best friend has betrayed them and it's almost like they're losing someone. I don't know. Maybe this is all bulls**t. Can I? I don't know what I'm saying. Is that shift a little bit? How's the bar doing? How is Schwartz and San is doing? Is it? Are we still doing good or are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This weekend was absolutely slamming. You know, that's one thing. I just I got to shout out to my partners, Bret and Greg, like, they've, you know, they've had to deal with a lot of lot of harassment because of this. Yeah. You know, people like calling in and stuff like that. They think Tom Sandoval is ever going to hear these voicemails they leave. It's like he doesn't. He doesn't hear any of that. Our employees have to deal with that. And I'm just like, I get it. People are disgusted with him. That's going on with Tom. Tom, are you guys still involved with that? Yeah, yeah. Tom Tom's great was a surprise. I wasn't sure if you guys to get because I think at the reunion or something like that said that you might have sold your shares for extra money for Tom, for Schwarzenegger. It's a little involved. We took out a small percentage just to help us get to the finish line, but we're still involved. Prime Pride was awesome in West Hollywood. Shout out to West Hollywood and Sun Pharma was incredible. And yeah, happy. Proud everybody. I'm sorry. I wish that we could have been there for that, you know? But I had my brother's wedding. I had my nephew's graduation, so we weren't in town. But we love going to pride too. It's so, so much fun and such an amazing thing. Yeah, we've been part of it for every year. Yeah, we support it fully. Always fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like in closing, like I said, man, I guess I don't know. Maybe I'm a sucker. I was sold a bill of goods and I bought it and I was just so caught up in my own life. I just selfishly, I guess, I I guess I should have done more and I guess I regret that. And you know, it's just it's it's kind of sad. Well, we know you're a great guy and we just hope that you can, you know, work things out with Katie and Ariana and take this time away from Tom because you deserve it. I think that's going to be really good for you. I said one last question earlier, but I just got one more question, actually. Where do you think you go? Where do you think this show or the friend group goes from here? Oh, that's a good question, because I know a lot of people aren't wanting to film with Sandoval or Raquel, and I feel like they're just not in the friend group at all anymore. But I mean, you're you're you were actually on the show. We weren't this past couple of seasons, so just we'd love to hear what you think about all that. Oh my God. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Like, here's the thing you guys know this better than anyone. You've been in this friend group for as long as I have Bernie a little behind. But like we've we we have been through so much of s**t together, like so many like marriages, divorces, cheating, like all kinds of other stuff. We've we've we've we've bonded with baby. We've trauma bonded through all of this. But like and that part of me thinks like, you know, we'll be able to work through this. But I just, I don't know. I don't know. I think the level, from my point of view, I will say, and you can tell me what you think about this. I think the level of betrayal on this was so much worse than anything else you guys have gone through. Like I know, there's been things in the past that have sucked and have been like bad too. And I know there was things that before I was around that were bad that like Jax did to Stassi. And, you know, I don't know that all that really sucked. But this was going on for like months and months and months, and they were still hanging out right in front of your faces and like right in front of Ariana Sykes at her own home. And like, she thought that was one of her very best friends as well as her life partner. So I just think the level betrayal is just like above and beyond. So I just wonder how you feel about it. That's exactly what I was just going to finish my comment with. And you did it for me. So sorry. Well, this is this. Is this a completely different level of betrayal? And I don't know. I really don't know how it's going to play out, but I still love this group of people and I don't know. We'll see what happens, but I don't know what I want to close with. What's my close with? I just I'm glad that you're taking some time for yourself, though. I'm kind of getting away from it all, hanging out with maybe some different friends, maybe some different groups of people getting some different perspectives of life other than this traumatic Vanderpump situation, because sometimes you got to break free from it and go see your other friends. And you know, so I hope you do. I love it. Thanks, Jackson. On that note, like just a reminder, you guys. My name is Tom Schwartz. I did not have an affair. Oh, Javier, my world does not revolve around Tom Sandoval. OK, I'm not. I'm not like a character in his movie yet trying to make my own movie. And you know, man, I just it sucks. Like on the internet. It's just I've gotten absolutely roasted into oblivion and I've been reduced to like an accessory to to an affair. It's like Jesus Christ. Anyway, I can't look at that stuff. You got to take a break. Why not just turn it off? And it's just that's just keyboard warriors. That's people that have nothing to do with their lives and like to sit behind the keyboard and just type, type type because they know you're never going to respond. So they don't look at that. Yeah, don't look at that. You just keep on doing what you're doing. Like I said, relax, take some time for yourself. Meditate, do whatever you got to do, hang out with different people, go to the beach, you know, keep going to the bar and seeing people because everyone is going to Schwartz and charities, I'm sure is there to see you. No one's there to see Sandoval. Yeah, seriously. You go there all the time now. No, that's your pride and joy and your baby and you've invested everything that you have in that. So, you know, I love going there. It's fun. The food is frickin awesome. We still appreciate the three times that I've been there. I've had a great time. But in closing out, I just want to say thank you so much for coming out here too. We really, really appreciate and I know you have a lot going on in your life and I know you're not doing too many of these podcasts, but Britney and I just really, really appreciate it. You know, we love you to death, and we're always here for you. We're always going to be here for you. And I guess we'll just see when we get home. Yeah, guys, like, I want this thing like people, people I know lots of different people have experienced, you know, their friends cheating or having an affairs. Let this be a cautionary tale. Like if you're not happy, if you're not in love, don't go start king having an affair, just break up with your significant other and move on. Yeah, OK. It was the worst decision that ever. I shouldn't have never done that. I agree. 100 percent. I mean, yeah, it's incredibly. But wait, let's try to end on a positive yes. And I needed another dose of positivity rate. One thing when when does your MA show air? We never said earlier. Mondays on Fox, Mondays on Fox. OK, well, good luck with that. Everybody tune in to Mars on Mars shortly on Mondays and on Fox. See this one. Yeah. All right. Thanks so much. All right. Have fun in New York. Yeah, we love you. Thanks, everybody for listening to when reality hits with Jax and Brittany. We love you guys. All right, we'll talk to you guys next week, and we'll fill you in on the last part of the reunion. Yes. Don't, don't, don't run by Tom. By Tom. You. See what hit blockbusters are streaming free during popcorn summer movies on Pluto TV? Watch the first four Indiana Jones movies, or Minari and Maid of Honor. Plus, Pluto TV has hundreds of channels with thousands more movies available on live and on demand. Download Pluto TV on all your favorite devices for free. 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