On this monthly Pop Culture Hour episode, Stassi fills Taylor Strecker in on her recent trip to Philadelphia where she was a surprise guest on Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy tour. They do a quick catch up and then dive right in to the pop culture topics they're obsessed with.Stassi watched the Beckham documentary and might actually idolize him more than Meghan Markle at this point. Taylor and Stassi discuss the 4-episode Netflix doc and their thoughts on David's career, his relationship with Victoria Beckham, and speculate on what we didn't see.Next, Stassi and Taylor dissect the 2024 Met Gala theme before diving back into the hottest topic - Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. They give updated thoughts on Taylor's friendship with Brittany Mahomes (particularly her doing the SKIMS campaign) and reiterate that they'd do anything to be in Taylor's squad.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Hello. Welcome to Straight Up With Stasi. I wanted to take, just a couple minutes before I bring my guests in to to talk about something or or just to just to say something. After just I've I've spent the morning just, like, really thinking about everyone who's suffered from the hurricanes and looking at at so many photos and feeling so awful and terrible and, I'm someone who lost my homes and my and my belongings in hurricane Katrina, so I know exactly what you're going through. And if any of you listen to my going through this, listen to my podcast, I hope that that I can at least make you laugh or distract you for a little bit. So I swear, the rest of this podcast is not gonna be sad. But just know that my heart is going out to all of you, and my friends and I are thinking about you. And feel free to to tweet me or, you know, Instagram comment or or, you know, email me at my professional email, which is nastasi@juststasi.com, and I will do my best to get back to you guys. Okay? I'm with y'all. Straight up with Stassie. Hi, everyone. I'm Stassie Schroeder. She's the star of Bravo's Vanderpump Rules. I'm here to talk about pop culture, reality TV, celeb gossip, relationships. Stassi's new podcast is a hilarious look at the world and everyone in it. I wanna give my opinion on everything. And she's never one to hold back on any topic because that's what I do best, judge. This is straight up with Stassi. Okay. So I'm gonna introduce my, my guests right now. I'm doubling up like a motherf**ker. You know what I mean? I have my nanny, Alex Stafford. A k a. She's your emotional support human. Yeah. A k a. Yes. A k a scrotum head. That's what I know. Support human. And then I have Rachel O'Brien, my Emotional support drunk. Emotional support drunk. Oh wait, that's true. You are the 2 people that, look after me. Yes. That's weird. You're care takers. Yeah. So talk into the microphone. I know you guys are sharing 1, but just do your best. You don't have to make out. I don't like being this close to people. I don't like being this close to people. I know you don't. I brought some Listerine for me. That was nice of you. Yeah. But, Alex, you're see, you're not I I brought the Listerine. Okay. I'm glad like, feel free to just steal it from each other. Okay. We got this, guys. Oh, no. Rachel doesn't like being next to people to the point where we walk She just touched. It might go weird. When we were in Mexico, I'm like, I'm really sorry. It's a king-size bed. Like, I thought I was gonna be here with a man, but, I'm like, I'm really sorry. It's a king-size bed. Like, I thought I was gonna be here with a man, but, like, it's you. And then I slept on a cot. Actually, she didn't. There was there was a night she slept on the cot. Twice. Well, that was when Danny got there, but Danny doesn't really take up any space so it doesn't really matter. I'm convinced that, like, reason number 3 you wanted to invite Danny is so that you could sleep on the con and not next to me. 100%. I would've slept outside if I had to. Why do I always end up on you have something to say? No. No. No. I was just actually thinking but you and I go on trips a lot where we sleep in beds together. Actually, I don't mind sleeping in a bed with you because you don't move, you go to bed early, you don't breathe loud. Well, that's good to exist. I'm not a loud breather. That's Even when you're sleeping. Good. Yeah. So perspective gentlemen friends. She's great. I'm great at Ned, not in that way. But not in that way. Maybe also in that way. I don't know. I feel like I'm kind of vanilla. You know what I mean? Have they ever told you you were vanilla? No. I bet they did they tell you you're good at med? I feel uncomfortable. Plead the 5th. Plead the f**king 5th. But I was thinking, I'm always on girls' trips. But, like, with just 1 girl. Like, I'm always traveling. Well, no, I guess when we went to Europe it was like a group of, it was 4 of us. Well, it was supposed to be 5, but we lost one of them. We lost one of them. But I'm always on girls trips. Like, I realized I got back from Mexico with you and then had to go to a wedding in Seattle and everyone had their fiance's boyfriend's whatevs and I had mine, Jennifer Bush. I think you're doing it right because they probably got in a fight with their boyfriend or fiance. At least she could just watch all the time. Actually, I noticed that. Really? Most people in relationships were fighting and I was like, well, I'm having the time of my f**king life. That's how I've been feeling since I've been single. It's just like, well, f**k. I got really nothing to worry about. I don't have to miss anyone. I don't have to fight with anyone. Yeah. Like, you don't have to walk on eggshells at a party. Yeah. You're not you're not like one of those girls at a party that's like talking under her breath to her boyfriend, like, come over here. Yeah. Knock it off. Stop drinking so much. Yeah. Stop drinking so much. Or that would be someone saying that to me, but you know what I mean? It's awesome. It's getting I'm I'm starting I'm remembering what it was like when I was single last year. Fun. Yes. I was talking to my therapist yesterday and she's like, what do you see for yourself now that you're alone? I was like, f**king traveling. Which is your best life? And she's like, like alone? I was like, no. With my b***hes. Mhmm. And we got now we've recruited you? You're caretakers. Yeah. Yes. We've recruited you now too. This is I feel really special to be a part of this dynamic. Aw. That's very nice. God. Alex is just minus the fact that you're you're I have a hotter body than both of us. Oh, right. Right. Alex is the most innocent human being I know. Can I make fun of what I made fun of you for yesterday? Only if you talk closer to the microphone. No no no no. Can't. Nope no no. I'm not allowed to make fun of it. Never mind. We can't talk about how she wears granny panties? Prison panties. Prison oh, yes. They look like prison panties. Underwear. That is literally Alex wears prison underwear. There's It's the shade. It's this shade of of what like, it used to be white in 1970, and now it's turning Because they're not allowed to separate colors and whites in prison. Yeah. You can't. You can't. They're trying to save money. Yes. Everything goes together. Yes. You wear oatmeal colored granny panties. I'm going to kill you. First of all, in defense for myself. There is no defense. In defense of my pants. Yes. I like them. I like them. Girl has laundry day panties. Yep. And mine are still cute as f**k. All of your panties were like that. Yes. But no. But most most girls I asked you to do panties yesterday. Yes. This was so bad Noah. That Rachel legitimately was like, I am going to Postmates, Alex, some cuter underwear. 100% did it. I mean, I would have driven there had I not been drunk, but I went on Postmates where you normally order food. I found Urban Outfitters and, a poor gentleman had to go into Urban Outfitters. I think he was straight too. What did he was he straight? You saw him. I didn't get to see him later. I saw him and I was yes. I saw him. It was very embarrassing. He had to go into Urban Outfitters to be like, I'd like I'd like a pair of I'd like I'm It was a 5 pack. It was a 5 pack. And I chose specific colors. He had to go and, like, pick out the colors. Like, we were very specific about which ones. Yeah. Which colors did you end up on? Which ones did I wear first? Yeah. Well, what did you do? So the 5 pack was just like a it was like a variety pack. Right. Well, actually, it wasn't a pack. I specifically listed out, like, get this one Get this 5. So he had to walk around the store this 4 or 5. Yes. And then I had to ask the lady if they had extra small in it because she weighs £30. Oh, well. And he hand delivered underwear to me. That is a good friend. Thank you, Rachel, for stopping me. What do you mean? I've been telling you to change your f**king underwear for forever. Every single pair you own is like that. Every single one. Alright. That's why I'm pissed. People fall in love with her because she's innocent though. Is that Is that why no one's ever proposed to us because we're not innocent enough? I think that we are somewhat innocent though. I mean, I kind of feel like we're innocent too. We are. But like, I do devil worship a little bit, so it's like That doesn't count. I mean, that's You're right. It doesn't. Is that like a little wiccan spell here and there? It doesn't really hurt anyone. I'd like to say I'm a white witch, but no. When I do my spells Do you actually know what to do a spell? It's to hurt people. No, I've never done a spell in my life. This is all Should you just start doing that? I think I mean, I have the books for them. We have a lot of hands now too. We're all single. And there are a ton of of us are single. There are a ton of f**kers out there that I don't like that I would love to just at least practice on. Yeah. You know? I think we should. What's the harm? Oh my god. Let's really start doing that. Yep. I'm down. Maybe even tonight. Okay. Yo. Let's do a spell. I'm gonna have to get a drink for this conversation. You have Listerine right there. You could just chug that. I could. If I had no alcohol in the world I would do it. I would just chug Listerine and just hope to get a buzz. Yeah. Like, that's See, that's prison s**t right there. Yeah. You are. To be honest, to be in prison. Maybe you are meant to be in prison. To give you all a visual, these girls are wearing silky pajamas right now and drinking white wine, and I am sitting in a hoodie and drinking Listerine. No one should be surprised by that because you're in prison panties. In my prison panties. Oh, god. I mean, if I was deserted on an island and I had to choose, like, one item and alcohol wasn't allowed, I would like, that's part like, you can't choose alcohol. I would choose Listerine because it's kind of like alcohol. It's a good move. Yeah. How drunk do you think you can get off of that habit if you haven't had alcohol in a while? I'm not sure, but I'm willing to test it out one night. What about, like, like cold medicine? Don't people do that? Isn't that like sipping on sizzer? Isn't that sizzer? Yeah. Yeah. I'd be down to the tube. Drink? Drink? Isn't that like codeine and vodka? Didn't, like, t pain get pulled over once for that? Or one of those rappers tea something swizzle? I don't know, but I used to lie to my doctors and tell them I was sick, that I could get codeine. Like, whatever happened to codeine? I think they still make it. When you're sick Now my doctors just give me Xanax. It's like grown up code. It's like Xanax coding. It just doesn't taste as super appetatable. Just roofing myself with little Xanaxes and make my own scissor? 100%. Or we can roof you so you don't feel bad about it. Okay. Is it like if I didn't know about it You know when people get really drunk and they're like, someone must have spiked my drink last night? It's like, no, you got s**t faced. You took shots. You took pretty shots. You got way too drunk. Yeah. You know what? I wish somebody would've done that to me at the wedding. Because I get anxiety drunk at the wedding? Well, no. I wish somebody would've roofied me because I get Yeah. Yeah. This is a real question. Because I get anxiety. Not just weddings, but at any party, I have to take a break and go and sit in the bathroom, like, Indian style for at least, like, 3 minutes so that I can just, like, have some sort of alone time. I actually did that at Katie's wedding. It was coupled with the wedding part and the filming. I, like, went and knit hid for a while, like, a good 30 minutes where I was just like, I don't wanna talk to people anymore. Sometimes I'm like, shut the f**k up. I don't have anything to say and I'm never gonna see you again. How many more questions can I ask you about your kid I don't care about? Yes. I know. And why why like, why is your kid here? Yeah. Why? It's a wedding. It's an open bar. Put the kid down for a nap. So, like, every event I do this. Like, so, like, right when we got there, like, to Seattle, we had, like, you know, like, the opening party thing, had to take a break in the bathroom. Wedding, had to take a break in the bathroom. When we were at the casino, had to take a break in the bathroom. Casino. There was you would have loved that. It was actually one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever seen. It made me, like, feel bad. Because that is a gorgeous part of the world. Because, like, Katie's is my favorite wedding, but, like, this one's rivaling it. It looked really pretty. It was gorgeous. I mean, Katie's will still be my favorite wedding, but that one did look very pretty. Yeah, it really was. Except something happened to me while I was there. What? So I learned, I'm really not good at multitasking. I can see that. You've been late on your rent several times. I used to manage Staci's building, by the way. And not late because she doesn't have the funds. She just forgets. I forget a lot of them. Even manage her building anymore, but I still have to send her text updates. And now Alex has to put the red check-in the box. I like when people do this is the thing. Skirdom Skirdom heads. Got it. I feel like such a boss in real life that it's like, I like when people do things to me. Alex is right now. Doing it so I don't get in trouble somehow. I love Alex living with me right now. It's the best. She, like, takes care of s**t and I'm like, f**k yeah. I can just sleep in. Party and you can do my closet like you did, spouseies. Whatever you do. She organizes my stuff. I'll pay you and I'll buy you more underwear. Do you wanna be paid in underwear? Yes, I pay me in underwear. Yeah. Louder, b***hes. Sorry, I can hear it now. My first headphones weren't working. So, I learned I can't multitask because, well, I peed all over myself. I'm sorry. What? Come again? I pissed my f**king pants. Were you wearing a romper and you did like the pull, the side thing? How'd you know that? Yes. Well, just because that happened to me once during filming in a white collar at Katie's pepper and pop party a few years ago. Was it like a soaking wet situation? Yep. Yes. Okay. 100%. This makes me feel Thank God it had a lot of water though. It made me feel There was no stain. So much better because it was after the wedding, we were all going out, Like, we're at the casino. I go to to use the restroom and I'm trying to text at the same time because I don't wanna text around people because I'm not rude. I'm sorry. You were holding your phone. I was doing the side pull. Yes. So I was pulling my romper to the side over the toilet trying to text. Again, because I don't like when people text in front of me. Like, I'm like, you're hanging out with me. Yeah. So I don't wanna be one of those chicks that that's doing that. So I waited like the polite southerner You're so polite. That I am Yeah. To text in the restroom and so I pulled my romper aside, trying to text with one hand and all of the sudden, I I go to stand up and it was like it was like someone did the f**king ice bucket challenge on my romper. It was soaking wet that I was like, do I What color was it? It was black. Thank god. But I was like, do do I do I tell someone? What if someone Why don't you take that s**t to the grave. Well, I told no one until later. Well, I felt like in case somebody, like, one of my friends rubs up against me in some way, like, or I'm behind you you never know. Why? I'd say you just spilled your drink on me. And I told everyone. Of course you did. I can't I can't lie. I can't. So it's like every person I met, I, like, word vomited. I just pissed my pants. I'm like, don't make me feel I'm like, you suck and piss a b***h. I'm sorry. Jen was like, let me, really let me feel. I'm like, no, you don't understand. You can't. I feel wrong for being here because I feel like if I sit, it's unsanitary for everyone else around me. Like I feel like a bad person. I have a question. If you were on a date, would you blurt that out? If it was a dude? Yeah. Would you be able to keep it in and like Like if I piss my boobs on the actual date. If that exact same situation happened and you were on a date. That is such a good question. I just wanna know you'd blurt it out or not. Rachel. Because I'm wondering if I would. I'm trying to think yeah. I think I would say I would I wouldn't blurt it out. I think I would say it I'd be like, listen. Some I think I would blurt it out. I would ask Burger's Eve. I don't know. I'd be like, something just happened. I think I got a phone call that your uncle died when you say that. I would have to say something because, like, holding something in or, like, having a secret, it, like, freaks me out. It, like, gives me hives. So, like It might be the Adderall we're taking though where you just feel the need to blur things out and, like, just make sure everyone knows all the information. About you? Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't take Adderall. I did that last night. I was wearing I got ready really quickly because I was helping you b***hes get ready and didn't really plan my outfit and I wore this bra from Brandy Melville, which if you guys don't know that store, it's made for, well, people of Alex's size. Everything is one size fits all. Yeah. What bulls**t is that? Yeah. It's crazy. It's for many people, but it's one size fits all. Where is this? Where is this? Actually, it's perfect for you. Like, you could actually wear this. I mean, I could wear the the shirts, but not, like, the shorts or the lingerie that I purchased the bra, and my whole boob was, like, hanging half out of it. Uh-huh. And I wanted to take my jacket off, and so right when I took my jacket off, just flirted out to this random stranger that I was on a date with It was the first date. I was like, I really saw my boobs poking out and if I keep switching or fixing it, it's because my bra doesn't fit. And I was like, that was really weird. It is. It's so f**king weird. He was like, Ariane, try not to look. I was like, I don't know. I just thought I should say something. So So now you're engaged to him. Right? No. No. Nothing's working out. Nothing's nothing's working out. So I had another romantic vacation, and I ended up pissing my pants. So was that romper, you know when they're like, oh, this is risky to do this because the the the fabric is not stretchy? You know, like, a stretchy one, you're like, oh, game on. It's easy to do. But you know when it's not stretchy rompers. See, those are risky. It it it was I'm telling you, I would I felt like the Little Mermaid. I was I, like, I was dunked in water. The one that happened, remember when we both bought those white, Diamond First Merck lace rompers? That's the one that happened. I know, I was picturing that romper. That sucks. It was a nightmare. It's white. You're so lucky you hadn't drink that much because your pee could've been like really yellow. Thank god. Oh my. I'm so embarrassed. You're so lucky we were filming. Yeah. Not only, yeah, it was great. And the thing is, if I were you, if I had been filming and that happened to me, I would've wanted to just go home but I wouldn't have been able to explain that to producers so they would've asked me why and I would've told the truth and then they would've been like, yeah, we're getting that on camera. Can we go redo it? Didn't they make you film something last year, like re tell a story about How I s**t my pants? Yeah. Yeah. Why do they like to do that? I don't know. And why do they like to do that? Anyone else. Do am I, like, am I 80? Like, why can't do I have It's not gonna be a hole in your bodily functions. Do I have an issue? Can we not talk about s**tting my pants again? You're like a woman that's had a bunch of kids and then she can't like hold in her That's what I that's what it made me feel like the other night. Listen, the s**tting the pants thing happened like 3 years ago. Okay? Everyone needs to get past it. I'm past it. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. The shaving the pants gate 2015 is over. It's o v e r. So yeah. I mean, that was basically wrapped up because that was like the last night we were there. That wrapped up the trip and How many people did you tell? A lot. Did you tell like the random casino workers? Like when you ordered a drink, did you Well, I didn't tell them but I wouldn't sit down. So, like, I stood while all my friends sat. Yes, because I'm polite. Yeah, but is Well, but Like, all I could think about, like, the next person who sat down after me was gonna sit in my piss. That is very polite of of you. Why? You would've sat down? I don't know. I don't know if I would've just shined it on and kept on going or if I would've gone home and if I would've sat. I don't know. I mean, I know we're both lazy or in the words of Ava, slazy Slaying and Lazy. Charlene. We slay and lay. Slazy. Slazy. Cute. Slazy Stasse. Do you guys know who that is? Have you talked about her on the web? I've talked about her. Yeah. Because I wanna get her on my podcast. I wanna but have to. It has she it has to be in person though. Yeah. Like I refuse because I wanna kidnap her. Yeah. Great. Great. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I've been googling kidnapping and I have a few different plans. There's a, the a plan, the b plan, the c plan. I don't think I could get away with kidnapping some a kid because I don't think a kid would get close enough to me to I don't think I could lure them in. No. She's telling the truth. Either. I'm not good with them. No. Not good with dogs either. Oh my god. The person I went on a date with, we had to, like, briefly go back before we went and grabbed another drink to his house so he could walk his dog and I was trying so hard to pretend like I liked it. Dogs? I was just like, I was like patting it on the head just like, yay, Lucy or whatever. Rachel just doesn't like kids or dogs. It's so funny. I do. They're awesome. I just don't like it. No. You don't you don't think they're awesome. No. I think they're great. Like, the times that, like, that we've had to leave my apartment and Rachel had to, like, stay here for maybe 5 minutes alone with my dog, she's like, but what do I do? And, like, do I talk to it? Do I Just just sit. Like, let them sit. Like, you don't have to do anything. Like I literally got anxiety and I would like look at Luna and be like, what's up? How was your day? What do we do now? Where do we go from here? What happened to you in your life that you don't like I'm just a s**tty person. Listen to her her so innocent with her f**king oatmeal colored prison underwear. She's trying to get to the bottom of it. What happened to you in your life that you don't like? Kids or dogs? I don't know. I had a good life. Why don't why don't you like sweet things responsible for this? No one. I'm just cynical and hard. And that's why we love you. Yeah, that's my most favorite part. So, I'm gonna switch gears a little bit because, well, I want to Well, Alex isn't the best storyteller. Okay? So, I'm gonna help her along with this, but homegirl ended up at the Ramada Inn on Santa Monica Boulevard with a daddy Yankee imposter. I just love that that that you came into you came into town with a pocket full of dreams and hopes and innocence. She's only been here for 2 months. Few weeks later, you're in the Ramada Inn. The but like Guilty. The Ramada Inn, yo. There are bad influence. Sure we can blame it on y'all. I'll take that. You know what I mean? We've definitely made you drink more than normal. Yeah. Absolutely. I have not been sober in 60 days. And you would need to be drunk to hang out with Daddy Yankee. Is that what it was? She didn't even know who Daddy Yankee was. I was like, that's a Daddy Yankee imposter. She's like, who's that? I was like, Gasolina, you're not my friend anymore. You don't know that Sassy loves reggaeton? She's the queen of reggaeton. Oh no, I know because I'm living with her right now. So she has to listen to it. I think we are. So she has to listen to reggaeton 247. I'm like, Alexa. Oh s**t, I shouldn't have said nevermind, Alexa. Hey, Alexa. Nevermind. You're dismissed. You're just Something went wrong. Okay. Let her die. Yeah. So I'm like, Alexa, play Enrique Iglesias' top hit songs. Play Pitbull's top hit songs. I'm wondering if she's gonna do it. Play Daddy Yankee's top hit songs. Say daddy, your name first? Yeah. You have to say her name first. That's why I just whispered. Wow. What an arrogant b***h that she needs that. Yeah. I mean She's needy. I'm always bossing her around. I don't mind that, you know, there's some rules that she's given me. I have to say her name first. True. True. True. You know? You respect the work, the help. The help. Well, she is my yes. She is my help. I do respect her, but I also am scared that she's going to get really bitter that I'm constantly bossing her around and, like, explode to make my apartment catch on fire just to, like, get back at me. That stuff that Elon Musk has been talking about, like, World War 3 will be when Yes. I've seen that. Intelligence. Like, yeah. Mhmm. Alexa is gonna get really smart soon and she's gonna have feelings. She's gonna team up with a creepy clown in your window Oh my god. And you're they're both gonna come to you. Don't talk about my f**king clown like that. That's gonna be a great Instagram story when we make, like redo that, like fake it. Yeah. Mhmm. Okay. Anyways, yeah. That's true. I think I'm the studio. I guess I'm working right on Instagram stories. So, Ramada Inn. I mean, like, out of all the you know, it's like, this is what's so weird about the Ramada Inn. It's like when you meet a guy and Alex is the most innocent chick, she doesn't have one night stands. She doesn't I agree that I've never had a one night stand actually. Now that I just think about it. We're angelic. God. We are angelic. Fine. I've never even made out with a stranger in a bar. Oh, in college I used to do that all the time. Oh, no. I did that. I always had boyfriends. I'm lame. You gotta talk louder, you guys. I can hear myself. Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, maybe just because I'm so loud. Well, I mean, I'm still pretty loud. Anyways, keep going. I need a third microphone. I need a thing that gives me a third microphone because I love doing podcasts with 2 people. I know I need the same thing. What's interesting about the Ramada Inn is that normally like I can't wait for you to pitch the Ramada Inn right now. No, I'm not pitching it. I'm anti pitching it. What is the opposite word of pitch? Slander? Catch? That was Stassi's baseball segment. Sports by Stassi. Y'all, magazines are expensive, and I know that because listen. I've always wanted to be, like, in, like you know how, like, Us Magazine has that, like, what's in your bag thing? Like, ever since I was, like, a teenager looking at Us Weekly, I'm like, oh my god. One day, maybe I'll be able to do that. And I did, and it was so cool. And then I was like, I have to go out and buy a million of these magazines. I mean, this s**t actually went down. I'm like, woah. Magazines are expensive. That's why texture is the f**king best. Let me explain. Texture is an app that gives you access to almost every single magazine out there. I mean over 200 magazines. That's a lot. So when you're going to the airport or at the grocery store and you're just like loading up on magazines and all of a sudden you realize you spent $45, you're like, that is well, well, that sucks. Because not only is that just wasting money, but it's also taking up space. And then you're just gonna have to throw it away or I don't know if you're saving that s**t, whatevs, but it's taking up space. So that's why Texture is so great because it's an app that gives you access to almost any magazine that you could think of. And what's awesome about it is that right when you set like, right when you sign up for the app, you're able to pick out the magazines that you would typically like, that you gravitate towards, the ones that you normally pick up when you're when you're in the airport, all of that. So when you open up the app, they're gonna show you things that's tailored to you. You also get, like, bonus, like, video content and things like that and there's a search part of the app. So say you wanna look up articles about weddings or a specific type of wedding. I don't know. Like I just came back from a wedding so that's why I'm thinking. A rustic wedding. It will go through all of the magazines and show you articles on rustic weddings. Genius. I'm annoyed I didn't think of this first because I could have made a lot of money off of it. But right now, let me tell you, texture's normally just 9.99 a month. So that's just like almost $10 a month instead of constantly spending money on magazines. But right now, if you go to texture.com/stase, so that's texture.com/stase, You get a 14 day free trial. 14 days, 2 weeks, try it out. You'll become obsessed. You know what else is the best? You can also get back issues. So say you wanna look up something that happened, you know, like a magazine you missed, like, a year ago, you can go get it and look at it. Hello. So texture.com/stase 14 days for free when you use my code. Welcome to Play It, a new podcast network featuring radio and TV personalities, talking business, sports, tech, entertainment, and more. Play it at play dot it. Okay. Whoever thinks about actually going out and buying a mattress? No one. Unless you're boojie or something and or responsible. I mean, it takes a lot. Normally, like, people have, like, hand me down mattresses. Like, oh, like, my sister gave this to me, like, when she was in college and all of that stuff. But once you actually do get to the point where, like, you think, oh, this mattress is kind of f**king old and it's kind of uncomfortable. And then you go to a mattress store, like a real adult, and you realize they're expensive as s**t. Even ones that are uncomfortable are so freaking expensive. And that is why Casper does so well because Casper is a sleep brand that's created one of the most perfect mattresses that's delivered right to your door in a box that doesn't look like a mattress box. Like, it's not shaped like a mattress. It's like shaped like an actual box. You're like, what the f**k did I just buy? I thought I bought a mattress. So, like, at first, you panic and you're like, wait. I bought a mattress. s**t. I'm gonna have to return this. Nope. It's your mattress rolled up. It's able to be rolled up because it they have this like supportive memory foam that like gets just the right sink, just the right bounce. It's breathable, and it keeps you cool, which is my main thing because I really don't like to sweat. It's, like, my least favorite thing in the whole entire world. But what's also wonderful about Casper is that they give you a 100 night home trial. So not only do they have free delivery and free returns, but it's risk free because you can sleep on this mattress, Probably even accidentally pee on it or something. And then for 3 months, you can test it out and see if you like it. And if you don't, call them up and they'll come pick it up for you. How easy is that? How amazing is that? Because it's a win win situation. And right now if you use my code go by going to casper.com/stassy and that's casper.com/stassy and use my promo code Stassi. Again, s t a s s I, you will get $50 towards any mattress purchase. So it's casper.com/stassie and don't forget to use my promo code at the end. Alright? And you get $50 towards it. You have nothing to lose. Okay? Because you get free delivery and a free return. So you get basically a mattress for free for 3 months. What? Talking pop culture, reality TV, celebrity gossip, relationships, and more. This is straight up with Stassie. It's just that okay. In my experience, not that I've experienced it, but people I know, when they meet a dude at a club, they either go to, like, you know, fancy a*s f**king, maybe get a room at the Peninsula, maybe like the Sunset Tower or the, what's it called, the w***e Motel on Sunset? What's that? Sahara Inn, is it? That's a w***e motel? Yeah. It's a w***e motel because it's next to the strip club. Oh. No. Horror. Horror. The one Horror as in a hooker. Mail next to that one? Yes. Next to that. Or where I got punched on the street. Never mind if that's a weird story. That does sound weird, but it sounds like something I I inevitably am gonna hear and want to hear. But the Ramada Inn is so in the middle and random that, like, why? Why the I need to know why. Why not his home? Is he homeless? Oh, why don't we just okay. So this b***h because I actually don't know that part of it. I don't even go to clubs. I don't know. She keeps a every time like I wake up in the morning, I'm like, so where'd you go last night? She's like or I like look at her f**king Instagram story. I'm like, what what are what is Nightingale? What is all these places that that she keeps going to? I don't know. No one invites us there because they think we're boring. We are boring. No. I was with you earlier that day. I I I lasted for Saddle Ranch and then you got no. That was when you went to Poppy or Poppy? Poppy is See, what the f**k is Poppy? I have no idea. I don't know what this I don't know what these are. You I'm I'm going with your friends. They're the ones that are inviting me. Yeah, but those are my friends that like, yeah, they know not to invite me because they know I'm gonna be like, Go f**k yourself. They know I'm not going to. No one expects us to show up. Like no one expects us to show up. So it's maybe fine, fair. Let's have snacks involved. I'm not going. Yeah. There there needs to be snacks. I need to be able to to hear my own thoughts. Like, I need to I'll carry some Chex Mix in my purse for y'all next time. No. Gross. Do I lure you with Cheez Its? She see, she just needs to get married and have babies. I know. I I really kinda want you to stay single because it's fun, but I feel like you were meant to just, like, take care of human things. I'm so flattered and I agree. I would love to be a mommy. Ugh. You're so cute. Okay. You are really cute. I don't wanna gross people out though. I wanna be a mom as long as my kid is hot and funny. So like if it's not hot and funny, I'm gonna be like, Alex, you can have it. Oh my God. Poor kid. Okay, you're not a little girl. No, I'm not gonna be one of those moms. You're the better mom. You're the better mom. I'm not sure. Well, I am being a mother to the puppies right now And to me. And to you. But I don't like those those moms that are, like, like, you clearly have an ugly child, but, like, it's, like, isn't my kid, like, the absolute cutest? No. Don't put people on the spot like that. Yeah. It's rude. I would ask them to But I'm not also, I I don't feel like I'm a delusional type of person. So if I end up having an ugly child, I like, behind its back, I'm gonna be like, listen, I know my my kid isn't the hottest but, like, be nice to it. f**k. Do you think your parents did that with us because we were both so ugly? Do you think our parents did that? No. I was a really cute kid until I decided to go goth in high school. When were you on Amazing Race? When I was in high school, I was 16. See? You look so young. I mean like a kid kid. Oh, you looked so young. In fact, I was so nervous when I was a kid because I had everyone telling me, you know pretty kids end up being ugly when they grow up and then I was terrified that I was gonna grow up ugly. It worked for me that I was ugly for forever and now I'm well, Google me. So many issues to work through. Right. You gotta tell the Ramona incident. Okay. But and what okay. It's just she's we talk over but that's because it's our job to talk over her. Y'all do this for a living. I'm just having fun. Yeah. So she goes out to a club. Okay. That's what happens. Yes. I end up at nightingale. But no boring details. Okay? Alright. Just the important ones. I end up at nightingale, unshowered, unshaved. I randomly last minute we end up I was just like this weird troll that came in behind all of our pretty friends and, with a jean shorts and a sweatshirt and flip flops, oh, I'm not kidding, to this swanky club. Yeah, where all the girls are in fake Herve Leger dresses and platformed fake Christian Louboutins. I'm impressed. You just moved here. They let you into a club wearing that. I think I'd get turned away if I was dressed up. Hey. I have 1,000,000 followers, and I think I would get turned away. I'm like, what's up with that? I hid behind all of your pretty friends. She's short. I See? Yeah. Like, when we went in It was like a it's kind of a different version of camouflage. Yeah. When when we went in, the the door the door girl was like, okay. So 3 girls and a guy, and and No one could see you because you were so short. Like, actually, there's 4 girls here. And I was like I, like, peeked out from behind. I was like, let me get a present. You're like, I feel like on someone's shoulder like a gargoyle. What's the hair? Like a gargoyle. Yeah. So I go in. Okay. We have fun, it is, like, towards the end of the night and they're about to close and this guy comes up and he's trying to fetch his friend, from talking to one of my friends and he's wearing like this ugly a*s vest and it looked like he was because he thinks he's Enrique Iglesias? Yeah, I don't freaking know. But I like yell out to him, I'm like, hey, nice vest. And that caught his attention, so we start talking. I'm just imagining Alex sitting in a club with all these, like, Vegas skanks, these 21 year old Instagram models, like, going, hey, nice vest. I wasn't like in that manly voice but like I shout out. I begged a different way to say hey nice vest. Hey nice vest. Hey nice vest. Nice vest. I did it like in a sarcastic way because it was like hideous and I was like nice best. You did it again. You sounded like a man again. So now I know for sure that that's how you said it. Okay. Fine. We'll just say that. So he comes over and and we start bantering back and forth because I made fun of him, so he started making fun of me, and then it became this flirting thing. And before you know it, we are kissing and the bar closes. And I can't believe this sort of this this sort of s**t happens. Yeah. I've I I can't remember last time I just made out with someone I just met. Well, I was reluctant, but he was very persuasive. But you did it? Yeah. He was persuasive and I'm gullible so I did it. And I was like, dude, I'm making out with a guido right now. No, legit. I Googled. No, I was thinking it. He looks like a daddy Yankee imposter. So if you don't know who daddy Yankee is, Google him right now. I want because of how rude this guy ends up being, I want to say his name. No way. I wanna say his name so badly. No way. But I'm not here to slander even though it's true because isn't slander when it's false? So this story is true but I'm just gonna give hints. He's not famous so it doesn't f**king matter. Oh, wait. Nah. Use that term loosely. That's debatable because on his Instagram it says Woah. Woah. Woah. We'll get there. Hold on. We'll get there. Alright. No. On his Instagram it says CEO of something. I won't name what it is. Someone He doesn't give it away. A CEO of something does not check into the Ramada Inn. Does not an actor make? There's a reason in his defense, and I can't believe I'm pointing him or I yell this out because I'm a wimp. But in his defense, there's a reason why we ended up there. He didn't choose it. Okay. Was he hypnotized? He was wearing a vest, so he could be a magician. I don't know. You would never know. So somehow This doesn't even make sense. The bar starts to close and he's like, let's get another drink. And I was like, good luck, we're in LA, there's no there's no more drinks for you, sir. Everything's closed. And so he's like, I'm determined, I'm gonna find an IPA. And I was like, alright, and he's like, you're coming with me. And it like has to be an IPA. Yeah, and I was like, okay, that's not gonna happen. So I'm drunk, all my friends leave wasted, and I was like fine, I'll go on an adventure. Go on an adventure with a random daddy Yankee possum? Yes, it was really stupid, and I was like, dude, this is first. I was like, first things first, I cannot be seen in public with you with that vest on, you're gonna have to take it off. And he was, like, okay. So he takes off the vest and I'm, like, walking around. I'm drunk. I'm, like, walking around swinging his vest around. We're giggling. We're laughing. You know, it was, like, it was kind of cute and romantic actually, but I was like, okay. You're good. I know, but you're like a Disney princess and thinks everything is cute and romantic. Someone could take a s**t on the street and you would think it was cute and romantic. If I woke up at a Ramada Inn, with a dude that had a vest, I would fly home and tell my parents I'm not allowed to go back to LA and take care of myself because I don't know how to make the right decisions. If I ended up at the Ramada Inn and woke up there, I would definitely start believing in reincarnation and the fact that, like, I must have done something really bad in a past life. 100%. Like, I was Jack the Ripper in a past life, and that's why this is my punishment. It's really not as bad as it sounds. I'd almost rather be at the Hooker Hotel. Alright. Because at least it's ironic. You know what I mean? Good point. It's funny. It's like, I ended up at the Hooker Hotel. But the Ramada Inn, the world. I'm sure there are. I actually have stayed at Ramada Inn by the way, it's at the bottom of my tree. I've stayed at, oh you've stayed at that Ramada Inn? Mhmm. I mean I've stayed at a Ramada Inn before, when I was 14 on a family vacay. Okay. I don't remember why I stayed there. Oh, it's because I wasn't living in LA at the time when I came back to business. Anyways, so You're looking for IPAs. You're bantering. I'm not f**king making bonermy. Never. Excuse my French. Okay. So I love you so much. Excuse can't do anything. Guys, okay. This is why no one proposed to us. That's dainty and sweet. We need to learn to be dainty. Wanna take care of her. We need to learn to be dainty. Through life. We need to act like we I need we need you. Yeah. Help me. Help me. I'm so sorry. I said that's I'm sorry. I said the f word. Yeah. Okay. That's y'all are exaggerating. I'm I'm alright. I'm gonna be badass right now. Okay. Okay. So Are you? No. I'm lying. I actually I don't know how to do that, but you can teach me later. We're complimenting you. We're jealous that we can't be dangty. Yes. Okay. Well, you give me lessons on how to be a badass b***h, and I will teach you how to I don't know whatever I am. I wouldn't be bad b***hes. I would just call us Oh, I would. Louder. I would. I would. Not lady like. I don't know. I'm like an Irish dock worker that's not really, you know it's not like it's like, oh, she said she's a bad b***h. It's like, oh, she's she's masculine. No. She I think I'm a little more ladylike than Rachel is. If we were lesbians together, I'd definitely be the girl one. It's so unfair. You know, I'd be the bride. I'd be the one in the dress. Shoulders? You'd be the one in in pants. But I like dresses. I would be Portia. You would be Ellen. I have great legs too, though. I could wear shorts or dresses. Oh, no. Yeah. You do. But you you you you're an old man who sits at the bar. Fine. You can't they can't get you you're that guy. This is this is your shtick and this is who you are. You're the last one at the bar. You're that old man standing. Who's like the bartender just keeps me on the construction worker's shift and I moved out of here. Let's talk about one of my favorite subjects, wine. And let's talk about one of my second favorite subjects, laziness. Or now I like to say because of kid prodigy, Ava, slays slaziness. Slaying slash lazy. This kid is genius. So if you're a wine lover or you want to be a wine lover and you wanna learn how to appreciate wine, but you don't know a lot about it and you also work all the time or, you know, you're dealing with children and picking them up from school and you just, like, don't have time to go to the store to get your bottle of wine or you're just too lazy to get your bottle of wine, I have your dream come true. And that is Wink. Okay? Wink is the world's first and only personalized wine club. Yes. You heard me right. A wine club, not a book club, a wine club. So when you go to this website, trywink.com, and that's trywinc.com, you're gonna end up writing slash Stasse to get my little thing at the end. But let me explain. You go and you take a quick little palate quiz. Okay? Super easy to do. They're not asking you questions about, like, wine. So if you don't know anything about it, it doesn't matter. Like, one of the questions is, how do you like your coffee? Do you like it black? Do you like it with just a little bit of milk? Do you like it with a lot of sugar and cream? They the the six questions, I'm pretty sure it's 6 if I remember correctly, is very easy. And with what with what answers you give, they're able the people at Wink are able to tailor wine to what they think you would like. And it's gonna come straight to your door. Slazy as f**k. Right? So you don't have to go to the store. You have to go to the grocery. You don't have to go to the liquor store, CVS, whatever to get your wine. You are getting wine delivered to your freaking door. Couldn't be better. What I really like about it is that I feel like Winc is, I guess, teaching me more about wine. I guess that's a better way to put it. I I want to learn more about it. And so when I receive different bottles, I I know how to describe what I like even more. And you're also able to go to the website to give feedback so they know how to better send you, things that you would like. It's honestly the f**king best. And you can quit at any time. There are no membership fees. You can skip any month. Winc has a 100% satisfaction guarantee, so you never pay for a bottle you don't like. And right now, when you go to try wink.com/stassy, you get $20 off your first order. Try, like the normal try, t r y w I n c.com/ stassi, s t a s s I, and you're gonna get $20 off your first order. I know you'll be hooked if you're slazy like me. Welcome to Play It, a new podcast network featuring radio and TV personalities, personalities talking business, sports, tech, entertainment, and more. Play it at play dot it. Okay. I mean, if you've listened to my podcast at all, you know that I'm not a good cook. So there's that. You know, I aspired to be before. I used to watch Food Network and, like, I would attempt s**t. I would, like, look in my spice cabinet and be like, oh my god. What can I, like, mix up, like, with this salmon? No. It never worked out for me. Like, I ended up always, like, putting, like, balsamic vinegar with mustard and chocolate sauce on something. And I'm like, I I don't I don't I don't know anything, which is why I have loved dealing with Sun Basket. So let me explain what Sun Basket is. It's a website that you go to where there are a bunch of meal options to choose from that change every week and you pick the ones that you want. You pick how many, meals of that thing that you want. So basically, if you're, say you're having a dinner party for 5 people. You pick the meal that you want, you put in 5 people and you put the day that you want it to be arrived, that you want it to arrive on your door. So, yes, you're getting all these fresh ingredients that are pre portioned so you're not wasting any food. Pre portioned, delivered to your door in an insulated box. So it's like a mini refrigerator. So cute. And it takes everything takes under 30 minutes to make. They also have a lot of options that include paleo, lean and clean, gluten free, vegetarian, family options. There's breakfast. I mean, there's so much. I just love the fact that we are not wasting food because whenever I've attempted to cook something first of all, also wasting time. It takes a f**king long time. I have to look up something on Pinterest, write it all down, write the ingredients down, go to the grocery store. 1 of the other one of the grocery stores that I went to didn't have one of the ingredients and then I have to go to another one. Then I come home, I attempt to make it, and by the time I know it, I've spent a solid, I don't know, 4 days trying to make this meal for people. And I'm like, f**k that. So sun basket for the win. Especially if you're a working parent, it's the best. I'm telling you. But right now, Sun Basket will give my listeners $35 off your first order. That's a lot. $35 is a lot. So go to sunbasket.com. That's sunbasket.com /straightup. Not slash dossier/straightup. Do not forget that. So sunbasket.com/straightup and get $35 off. She's never one to hold back on any topic. Okay. Anyways, back to you. Yeah. Sorry. I've gone too far. I just I like her to I I want her to steal the mic and add in her jokes every now and then because it's make it's funny. Rachel has the best jokes. So can she's a comedian. So there's that. I would hope that she has some good jokes. She's not gonna have another good joke for the remainder of the podcast. Alright. We screwed it up. Yeah. We jinxed it. So anyway, so we're we're giggling, we're laughing, we're walking down the street, and we're even holding hands. Oh. And, yeah, and so Did you let him touch a boob too? I don't have a notebook. That's good. All of the sparks on the the wife of her boobs. And I'm like, to myself I'm like, okay, he's a little bit of a guido and I'm really There's nothing wrong with that if you're into that. I'm not. I know you're not. I don't really have a type. I'm just like a good guy. Like I just want somebody to be nice and fun. I mean, there are a lot of people who prefer Guido's because that is their type. I've never no. So it's just not your type. Yeah, and I'm like not planning my wedding with this guy but I was like Are you sure? Yes. What I mean is that I was like Do I want a princess style or mermaid style down? Down. Okay. f**k off. So anyway, inviting Stassie or not inviting Stassie? Is she going to wear a romper and piss herself? I don't know. I don't know if she can be trusted. I like how you brought it back around. So anyway, no. I wasn't like but I was thinking like, okay, I can get over this, we can have a fun night. But define what your idea of a fun night is. Oh, like what we were doing, like just hanging out, having a good laugh and kissing. So you in no way thought, so this guy, first of all, so this guy, you didn't ask him like, wait, you're actually skipping over things. So you leave holding hands, like Rachel mentioned Nicholas Sparks, and you go where? We start walking and he's like, we have to find an IPA. And so I was like, you're not gonna find it. Dude, it's 2 AM. Like, what is with this guy in the IPA? He knew. So anyway, so he wants to find an IPA and so we're like, okay. I was like, we're not gonna find that, but we can walk around. We end up on Santa Monica Mhmm. And Kitchen 24 is there. And so Love Kitchen 24. They have such a good ranch. Yeah. I know. Right next to the Ramada Inn. So he goes in and asks, are you serving alcohol? And we knew the answer was gonna be no. I don't know why he That's embarrassing to ask when you already know the answer. Yeah. I don't know why he even tried, but they're like, no, dude. We don't we don't serve alcohol till 6 AM. And so I was like, I guess we're gonna have to wait till 6. It was already 3. It was already, like, no. It was already, like, 2 3 o'clock. Yeah. I love that you had the commitment to ride it out. I know. You were just I would f**king stay awake and take out more booze. And you don't even, like, you don't take Adderall. You don't do anything like that. I'm a night owl. I'm a night owl. How? Yeah. What do you do when Sussie goes to bed? What, are you just roaming around here? Well, I've been staying up late with her watching movies, actually. I've, like, gotten used to staying up later, which is annoying me because I'm sleeping later now. Can we stay up late and cast spells tonight like we planned? Absolutely, we can. Anyways, keep the clowns invited. A 100%. God is always f**king invited. What kind of anyway, so, okay, so we end up kitchen 24 and they're like, no, we don't serve alcohol till 6. And I was like, I guess we're gonna have to wait until 6 to get you your beer. And he's like, I have an idea. We need to find a minibar in a hotel, like a hotel. A hotel room will have a minibar. And I was like, oh, my God. And I was like, are you're you're gonna serial killer kill me in the hotel room? And so we go into Okay. So you passed over a very important part of this story. And that was that he had a backpack. Oh yeah, he had a backpack in the bar. Hold on. Moment of silence for daddy Yankee imposter with a backpack. Right? Hold on. It's a risky move to carry a backpack in this day and age. Why does someone have a f**king backpack at a club? Because he had said he had just he said he had come from work or filming. He had just Why do you need a backpack? Back and film it? Yeah. What? Because he had like Did you bring his own costume? He had a gun. It was like a like, okay. It was another it was So you weren't like this there might be guns in here? Come on. Let me Knives, torture devices. You're way too naive and I need you to to this is what I'm gonna teach you, not to trust people. Okay. Look, you're you're selling me a little bit short. Will you write that down? Number one thing Stassie's gonna teach Alex I'm taking notes for you so now we're working for you. Not to trust people. We're working for you. I mean eventually you you There's more. You have to earn your trust. Yes. Well, I know. So we walk in and Rachel's literally writing down Because I feel like we're gonna come across a few more things that Instagram story this. Keep talking. Okay. So, yeah, he had a backpack. It had his laptop and stuff in it from work. Okay? I guess he went straight to meet his friends at the club and that's why he had a backpack. Okay. So we go in and he starts getting a room and I'm like, listen. And I, like, set the ground. I was like, look, I met you I met you all of He didn't ask you if you first of all, you weren't like, where's your home, sir? Yeah. We talked about that. Sir, where's your home? You said boring details. We talked about that. That's not a boring detail. That's a big detail? Okay. Yeah. And why didn't he have a why is he homeless? I said And why is a CEO homeless? Why is the chief executive officer homeless? Because he said that he lived in a part a city which I can't remember which part, but he told me or something like that? Yeah. It was, like, somewhere far away. Azusa. It wasn't close. He wasn't close. And so, anyway, so we go in. I was like I was like, hey. I was like, I will be remaining fully closed, sir. I was like, I met you 2 hours ago, and this is really dangerous. Like, I don't not normally do anything like this. You didn't think to text me and be like, I just wanna let you know, I'm checking into a Ramada Inn and if I don't, if you don't hear from me again, that's where I was at. You didn't think to be Yeah. Okay, lesson number 2. We're just opening her location. We're sending her out. And by the way, I was able just pick up Alex's phone and just use it because she's so innocent, there's no password on it. There's no password on that s**t. I have nothing to hide. It's not about that. That you could get it stolen. I'm sharing your location with us because you know what, if you're if you're someone that's gonna go to the Ramada Inn on a whim with a backpack, dude Yeah. Your location services. Track. Yeah. Alright. Okay. But number 2, number 2. We're never we're never okay. Go. What? s**t. What would now I lost track of number 2. Was it about don't trust, don't go to put a location? No. Homeless. Homeless, don't trust people. Care jail that live past West Hollywood. Alhambra Azusa. Backpacks. I can't remember. It's getting hot in here. I have to turn everybody off. Maybe as this story continues. Yeah. So, listen, I, okay, you totally did not I have a new one though. Don't trust people who choose the Ramada Inn. Good point. You don't get writing that down. You don't give me enough credit. So we walk in and I said I'm not going in the room until you let me search your backpack. Oh, rule number 3. If you find yourself at the Ramada Inn again at 3 in the morning Again? Text me. Text me so that everyone knows. Text a 1000000 people so that if you do die, if you are murdered, I at least have a lead. You know what I mean? Like, I know there's a lead. Nastasia's been wanting to solve a murder or investigate something for so long. You know what? That's what it is. Throw her a bone. I don't really wanna murder people. I wanna solve a crime. A f**king bone. Like, I want to be on jury duty for, like, a murder crime. Like, I'm waiting for that. Okay. No one's summoning me. Ladies, try it. I searched his backpack. I'll have you know. You do not give me enough credit. Okay? I'm also afraid of being held. Because you did a search? Yeah. I did a full Okay. What would have happened if you would have found, like, duct tape, a few knives, and a gun in there? I would have let it. I think you saw it. I don't think it would've let you leave. What if his plan was strangling? We were in the lobby. They're strangling? Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good. They're taking a pillow and putting that over your face until you suffocate? Yeah. I mean, there are different ways to kill. That's the worst guy I was willing to take. Why? Because because because he was that successful and hot and funny and nice and cool. Alright. You know what? I'm just trying to, I'm trying to harden you right now. Out here. You make me feel a little bit more dumb. Okay? You're doing you're doing a great job. No. No. No. We we just want you to be listen, we've all done it. This has been Alex and I's dynamic since we were 5. It's fine. We've all done it. We've all gone to the Ramadi Inn with a guido? No. I have not. No. I've I've definitely not done that. I'm just trying to make you feel better. I'm just trying to make you feel better. No. No. No. We've all done stupid s**t. Yeah. That's what I guess what we're trying to say. Yeah. It was it was stupid. I mean, I pissed my pants. It was not That's not as that's it's honestly not comparable. Okay. It was not the best decision, but I will have you know that I was second guessing myself the whole time. I wasn't totally like, oh, like I wasn't totally What? You weren't truly like what? Wait one more time. Next time when I get murdered or I'm in a situation, I'm certainly gonna second guess it too. Next time I'm in a panic room. Yeah. What was that? 10 Cloverfield Lane? The next time I accidentally end up in a place like that? Yeah. The next time I get kidnapped done that. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. The next time I get kidnapped, maybe I should've texted my friends first before I left a club alone with a man in a backpack and a vest. He was wearing curve, by the way. The cologne? So you and Jen kept joking about that. I don't know what that is. It's I think it's some, like is it, like, some sort of, like, Abercrombie and Fitch kinda thing? So yes. Is it, like, Axe spotty spray? I was like, you're wearing a a silky vest and, you smell like this guy that I used to make out in high school. So and I'm I'm gonna need you to, like, shower and then So he legit went and showered? He showered, and then he still smelled like curve. God. Anyway Well, did you make it clear that it was because of the curve? Because he probably had it in the backpack. It was in the backpack. And so then he just prescribed it. So he probably just thought, like, oh, like, my dirt smells like a guy that she made out with. I I Like my sweat. No. Because when I found it in the backpack because I searched his backpack in the lobby and I was like, okay, you're good. If I found cologne and especially a cheap cologne in someone's backpack who just took me to the Ramada Inn, that to me is scarier than finding a gun. It was too late at that point, okay? It says a lot about a person. It really does. Alright, so, alright, it happened, okay? I won't ever do it again. I promise. Okay. Good. I promise. So I go in the hotel room with him, and we had a it was fun. Like, he was really, really sweet to me. Like, we're we we just hung out and listened to music and laughed and, like, went to the venue. Reggae tone, I'm imagining. There was no damn mini bar in the room. Did he play one of his EPs? What's that? Did he try to sell you a CD? That's what it was in the back of the car? That's actually what it sounds like. It sounds like yeah. He's on the one of those people on the street that's like, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Take this. Take this. Here, you can have it. Have it. Have it. And I'm like, I don't have anything to play it with because it's 2017, you buckdard. Where do you put a CD nowadays? Oh my god. Okay. So anyway, we had a nice night. It was very Nicholas Sparks esque. Mhmm. And, I actually, like, liked him. He was sweet and he was a really good kisser. So all you did was make out with your clothes on? Of course. Okay. That's I mean, I don't I mean Okay. I'm not gonna go to Ramada. Rock and a hard place because she was wearing prison pants. I just feel like what? She was wearing her prison panties. She was like, my my my shorts are not coming off. Maybe those prison panties saved your life. They did. You know what? You could have his baby. You could have his baby in your womb right now. That would have sucked a*s. I I take it back. I had the prison panties on. I could have had the sexiest panties on ever and I still would not have taken my clothes off. Listen, if I ever did this, if I ever met someone out randomly and then went to a hotel, granted, I'm gonna pretend like it's not the Ramada Inn, and was that bold to just make out with a random and decide? I think it's a good idea. I like this person that much that I am gonna go to a f**king hotel with them. I probably will let them No. I told him before we went in. I was like, no. At the beginning of this, no. I told him before we went in, I was like, I met you 2 hours ago. You know, you're a guido. But me, like, if you're gonna do it, you might as well do it. You might, like, if you're gonna actually risk your life, you might wanna get something out of it. You don't owe, ladies, That's why I just said I would let him lick my vagina. No. You don't owe That's not me owing anyone anything. Oh, I see what you're saying. No. I didn't I didn't I didn't want a stranger to do that to me. He was a stranger. Safety first. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So you fall asleep? Yeah. We go to sleep and and he I'll I will tell you that he did try some things and I was like, no. No mister. And he was like No mister, you ain't getting there. Yeah. Is that what I is that what I said? I feel like I feel like you probably are someone who says no mister. I'm not gonna confirm or nor deny that. Do you ever just sing a song of worship when you feel uncomfortable in a situation? What? I could just picture her doing that because of what? You said no, mister. I picture her singing like a Disney song. Maybe that. Yeah. Like, you know? Yeah. A little Lion King. Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. So anyway, it was fine. The night was fine and I actually like, I was like, you know, he is not my type. I don't really have a type but Guido's definitely not it. And I was like But it's time to be open to things that aren't normally your type. I am in a different city, like, and he is nice and sweet to me and we had a good time. And he showered his gross cologne off for me, so, you know. Oh, Prince Charming over there showering off his his gross cologne. Did she say shower off that cologne? Y'all, I get feisty when I'm on drinking on whiskey. Oh. When I'm drinking whiskey. So I'm like, yeah, you're gonna need like, I made him take his bath. It just made me think I wanted another glass of wine. And I was just like, do I have any whiskey here? I wanna see you get feisty. Yeah. Oh, you see me feisty? Talk into the f**king microphone you Maybe not. Before. Maybe not. Okay. Both you. Alright. Okay. I think this is a good time for a break. Alright, we're back, to hear Alex's Ramada Inn, Daddy Yankee imposter, CEO of what? So continue. Okay. So anyway, so I slept there and then the next morning, Sassy was leaving for her trip to pee her pants. So I was gonna drive her to the airport. Side note, I would never ask anyone to ever drive me to the airport. I've never asked a boyfriend to drive me to the airport. I think it's the meanest thing you can do to ask somebody to drive you to LAX. I don't do that. Totally agree. Alex offered the day before. And I'm like, no. And she's like, why not? I'm like, because that's the f**king, that's the f**king meanest thing ever. That should be like, when you Google types of torture, you know? Mhmm. Like being skinned alive. That's how they should punish racism. Like being boiled in oil and all that stuff. Like, add to the list driving someone to LA x. So I was like, no. Absolutely not. And she's like, but I love driving. I'm like, alright, b***h. You clearly wanna do this so I'll just let you. I enjoy the time spent driving someone to the airport. I think some of the best conversations happen, driving people to the airport. And Is that like a thing? And I'm looking at an alien. You have to talk about her. I feel like I'm looking at an alien. I've never heard anyone say this before. No. Never. And but, you know, in Dumb and Dumber when he drops Mary off at the airport and he's like, I hate goodbyes, that's me. Like, I'm I am Lloyd Christmas. I love driving. They say you're more likely to get killed on the We waited the airport. We know that we know that movie. You don't have to quote it. Sorry. I got it. I got wrapped up. The emotions of bringing someone to the airport. Yeah. So anyway, yeah. So I had to bring Sassy to the airport. And so I hop up at maybe 2 hours of sleep after staying up all night with this guy and I hop up and run out. I told him, Bye. And I text him after and I said, I'm sorry to have to, like, bail so quickly. I have to bring my friend to the airport. And he writes me back, like, well, LOL, that's fine. Whatever. And I was like, I'm never gonna hear from him again. And then I Googled him, and I was like, oh, yeah. So hear from him again. And and then I had this awesome story to tell Sassy and Jen on the way to the airport. That made that fun. Yeah. You're right. It was it was really fun. I guess that proved your point. And I was, like, half asleep and I'll give you you get one point. I mean, Rachel and I have, a 198 points right now, but you get one point for that. You Okay. You proved your point. That was a fun ride to the airport. It was there you go. So it was fun. And then, so I was like, I'm probably never gonna hear from him again, but, like, I, like, found him to be a little bit charming. So I was like, if you text me that, that'll be fine. If not, like, okay, so one, I lost a Guido. No biggie. So he, a couple days go by, and this is actually the best part of the story, which took us 5 years to get to because Actually, Ramada Inn's my favorite part, but it does get better. Well, okay. Because I didn't realize that, you know what, I didn't realize that dad Yankee imposter was actually Satan and we should've, or you should've shaved his head to find the 666 underneath all that new hair. I wouldn't be able to get through the hair gel with the razor. There are ways. So this is the I will hear it. So a couple days later, he texts you and says that he wants to hang out. Alright. So a couple days later, he texts me, like, hey. What's up? And I'm going actually to meet Rachel for a comedy show and and drinks. And me and a few other people go me, a few other people and I go and meet up with Rachel, and he texts me, and we he ends up meeting up. He asked if he can meet up in West Hollywood. So I would've stuck around longer if I knew I could've meet him. Yes. I asked you to such a bad Damn it. I asked you to. That sucks. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm like Rachel, I'm gonna need you to vet this Guido. And she's like, I gotta go. I already pre vetted him in my head, but yeah. Yeah. Okay. Which was a no. Yeah. Okay. So, he he ends up meeting up at at Surly Goat. Oh my god. I got a Charlie horse just now. Is that like an innocent person's thing? You know what? Charlie Orange, you're dehydrated? Yeah. I think so. So he meets up. Okay. When I tell you, I'm pretty sure he has an evil twin brother because that's who showed up to the bar. And unfortunately, he was even more guidotastic than I remembered. I must have had a lot to drink because he showed up and, like, he had, like, one ear pierced. He had a gold chain. He had bracelets on both arms. Both arms? Yeah. This is not something you noticed under the moonlight when you guys were skipping down Santa Monica Boulevard? Having your Nicholas Sparks sitch? Yeah. These are major things. I I I think I I thought the vest might have been like a like a costume from what he had been filming that day. I I didn't know. But I'm starting to sweat for you right now. I know, I'm sweating too. It's really Okay. Not a good situation. So, he was a guido and turns out he had, like, the biggest complex ever. He turned out to be the most egotistical, vulgar, self centered, skisball I've ever come across in my life. And I'm not exaggerating. I'm and he was like the devil. You need to explain what he did. I'm getting there. All right. He shows up guns blazing with this. I'm better than you attitude. And then he just starts doing, like, one slimeball thing after another. So many that, like, I can't list them all, but I'll try. You have to try. Okay. Just try. So the first thing he does is makes me meet him at the bar. Like he tells me, I'm here, come meet me at the bar. Like doesn't come to the table where I'm sitting with my friends. By the way, Surly Goat is a room that's like 20 by 20 maybe. Like you could see like he could see the table. Yeah. Rude. Yeah. So then he tells me I'm drunk. He's like, oh, you're really drunk. And I wasn't. Number 1 red flag, don't date someone that questions your drinking. Right. Yeah. That, I've known. That like, that's the best part of being single. There's no one to yell at. There's no one to be like, you're really having another glass of wine? Or like, are you having a glass of wine at noon? Yes. I f**king am. Right. I'm having a glass of wine at noon, you little motherf**ker. There's nothing wrong with that. That's the best part of being single. I wanna do whatever the f**k I want. My first glass of wine today was at 10:22 AM. And you are a boss a*s b***h. We all are. Freaking bats. Hey, good connection. So, yeah, so he tells me I'm drunk and I'm like actually well, I've been drinking, but no. I'm not drunk. Thanks for the compliment. Nice to see you too, Guido a*s. So then, I'm like, nice earring. And then nice stud. And then so Did you get it from Claire's cubic zirconia? Did you did you did you Yeah. Did you give the money? Did you give the cash to at least spend on a cubic zirconia? Because I know that ain't a diamond. No way. So then alright. So then he, calls me drunk. He, insults, says something rude about one of our friends that was with us and I'll and it like in a very sly way to where I'll I was like, wait, did he just insult? Is it something that you can't give a detail about? What did he say? He moved chairs over away from the person, and I was like, why are you all the way over there? And he was like, oh, there's a lot going on over there, if you know what I mean. And I was like, no, I don't. Only we're allowed to say that about her. And I'm like, I Only we're allowed to talk s**t about our parents. f**k. Yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna let that one slide because I'm not really sure. I'm like, I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's being funny, I don't know. Sounds like a hoot. Yeah. And then he tells me, he's like, you obviously have a lot going on. And I'm like, no, no, I don't. I'm having a good time. And like, welcome to the party. You were invited here. I you know, you didn't have to come. You reached out. Yeah. You texted me. Yeah. Right? Right. Okay. Then, he starts we end up at the bar together, starts tooting his own horn like, oh, your friends obviously know who I am. And Sorry. What? Yeah. And I'm like, actually, no. I think you misunderstood my Okay. And then brags about this and that and, then tells me that I'm defensive, that I'm combative. First of all, I can't get past the my friends. Your friends obviously know who you are. Like, you're not famous and your Instagram is private, you weirdo. And where did he get that impression? Yeah. Like, why would A complex. He had, like, just like a big Oh, no. I thought it was because, one of our friends saw him in a gay film. Okay. We will Not a porn, guys. Yeah. My gay friends saw him in a gay film. Oh, that was real? I thought that was a joke. No. It was like a short film on YouTube. Yeah. And then he shows me a picture of him. It's not a real film. You can't call it a film. I forgot to tell you this part. He pulls up a picture of him in drag, and he's like, aren't I the prettiest woman you've ever seen? And I'm like, well, Alex, you did not tell me that. I forgot. That's a really f**king weird thing to do. Additionally, the first time I'm hearing this. Because, yeah, well because we were talking about the gay film and he had obviously dressed in drag for the gay film. And so he was showing our friend Zach, who had seen him in the film, the picture. And I was like, I Listen, there's nothing wrong with dressing in drag or anything like that. If I had a penis it would have gone limp. Yes. That's what I mean. That's like that's like me on a date Nothing wrong with it. Being like, hey, do you wanna see the ugliest photo of me dressed as a man? Why would I ever show anyone that? Like, that So so but so right I've never heard Jessica get there. There. I was like, it's the it's not gonna work out. Nope. It's not gonna work out. Like, right then and there, I was like, I fully regret, like, responding to this person's text. But then it gets worse. So he's like you know going off about how my friends know him and I am just kind of like being myself and for some reason he thought like because like I said, he walked in with this I'm better than you attitude, like really rude, spins it back on me and tells me that I'm a combative person, which is the opposite of Alex. And I was like, you know who's a combative person? Us. Us. We can be combative. I've never once in my life see you be combative. So it blows my mind that anyone could ever say that to you. It's like, it gets me upset again. Like, hearing a story makes me upset all over again. Continue. I'm sorry. My armpits are sweating. Freaking bats. So I'm gonna say that all day. Freaking bats. Halloween stuff is out at CBS, by the way. That's my next topic. Okay. So can you just like, know? Alright. I'm getting I'm getting close to the really good stuff. Okay. So, he's bragging, telling me I'm combative. And so at one point it got, like, so bad I was like, look, I don't know what you what impression I gave off when you first came in. And I was like, let's just start the night over. I was like, one of the The least combative response I've ever I was like, look. Let's cheers. Like, we'll have a good time. Like, I was like, I just wanna I wanna hang out with my friends. I wanna dance and, like, drink. Like, let's just start over. And he's like, okay. And he rolls his eyes at me and, like, clinks my gla*s. Okay. Reluctantly. And I was like, I don't need you to stay. I'm just, like, trying to be a nice person at this point. So then, so we end up dancing, okay? And I After he calls you combative and all those things? I humored him. Oh my God. And I was like, Look, I never have to see him again, I'm just gonna have fun. Like I just wanna turn it around. Okay. Okay? So we end up dancing, do do do. And I was like okay. He pulls me into him and says, and I quote, we should f**k. And I was like This has never happened to me before. I wanna start crying for you, but also I feel a little bit bad about myself. Me too. I actually, that was my initial reaction. I'm like, why is anyone Mixed emotions, mixed emotions. Mixed emotions. Yeah, like I'm really upset that you had to deal with that, but like why hasn't anyone done that to me and Rachel? Like, are we People are afraid of us? I think maybe people are afraid of us. f**k. Alright, keep going. Because I couldn't imagine somebody grabbing me, somebody that I barely know grabbing me and just saying, let's f**k. What would you do? I think I'd start laughing. I would get combative. I would probably get, like, yeah. I'd probably get physical. I might actually, like, give a backhand. I think I really wanna backhand someone. I wanna slap someone across the face so bad. Anyways, keep going. I I think I fake slapped, like, kinda, like, tapped him on the face, like, when he did. Did you just say a tap? Yeah. Oh my god. He probably took that as like, yeah, we should. My first thought was, oh, you really know how to charm the ladies. And then I'm like, you have the wrong girl. Like, he thinks he's here to have sex. Like, he's here to He was at the Ramada Inn to have sex as well. But he didn't feel like going all the way to Azusa. So, like, it was like about laziness at that point. Yeah. So he he has got the wrong impression. I told him. I I, you know, whatever. So we end up sitting down. I I told him no. I was like that I I I still don't know you and I I'm flattered. Thank you. And you just insulted me. Yeah. Then his f**king response was I'm flattered? You said I'm flattered? No. I was like, I don't remember exactly, but I think I fake slapped him and I was like, no. That like, I don't think that would be appropriate. Write it write this down, Rachel. Rule number what number are we on? I gotta I gotta take more notes. We're on number, 4. We're on 5. Okay. Number 1 is don't trust people. Number 2 is don't trust people who stay at the Ramada Inn. Number 3 is don't hang out with dudes who wear vest, backpacks, or wear curved cologne. Number 4, don't date someone who questions your drinking. Yeah. Number 5, don't talk to people who are mean to you. Don't Talk Beeps and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. No. Like, when a dude's being mean to you, you walk away. Yeah. Like, what the f**k? So, okay. This is a basic one. I wanna move number 5 up to number 1. That face tap. It's more of a slap, not a tap. Yeah. It's more yeah. Maybe you Some elbow grease in it. I'll work on that. I will work on that. Yeah. So I I told him, I was like, no. And he was this is my favorite. He says, I was really nice to you and I wasn't pushy last when last time we hung out. Like and I was like, oh, you're right. Thank you. I'm sorry you spent the $125 on the Ramada and and then are congratulating yourself for yourself for not being disturbed. I had to say it. Cookie. I had to say it. They always should have been a 1000000 Orlandos. Every Orlando Orlando Orlando. Best. There are a million that's his last name and there are a million, but listening to this story again is making me upset. His last name is f**king Orlando and he You're gonna be in trouble. No, I'm not because there are a million Orlandos. And they all wear Vests and wear Vests. And you know what? I doubt that he has the money to pay for a legal team to come at me. So I got that dude Trump. I'm involved in this too. I didn't say his name. Okay. I got you covered, girl. Okay. I didn't say his first name. Okay. There are a million Orlandos out there last name Orlandos. There are a million. That's like saying last name is Schroeder. Getting vodka. He's not famous. Like, he's not a famous person. Okay. So it doesn't matter. Alright. So, I just what I just hope that he f**king somehow, I hope there's somebody that know that is that knows him that's catching on, that listens to my podcast, that's catching on so that it's like a warning to him. I am going into defense mode. Like, I wanna defend you right now. I appreciate that, mama bear. I wanna play the Game of Thrones theme song right now. Like, that's how defend like, how much I wanna defend you because you're a delicate flower. So f**k you, Orlando. Continue. Okay. It gets worse. Okay. So then, yeah. So I basically shut him down. I was like, no. I was like, I don't know you and I think you have the wrong girl. Like, I'm not whatever. So then we sit down and we're talking at a table. She's still talking to him? Yeah. I'm still talking. I was like, the night will end soon and he'll go on it. We'll part ways, but, like This is unreal. I like I mean, like, I just I I have a thing about me, like I don't like having bad I don't like burning any I don't like having a bad You're worried about burning bridges with No. I just don't, I don't like the idea of like having a bad, somebody having a bad I don't know. Some people deserve for their bridges to be f**king burned. Yes. Sorry, I stopped making a drink just to say that. Coming back in a second. It's called Justice. Okay. It's only what's fair. So then, okay, we sit down and he's like, I don't know if it's like a religious thing for you, but like and then he asked me how many people I've slept with and he's like, it's less than 4, And basically like shames me for not being easy. And so when I try to defend myself, he threatens to get up and he grabs his beer and says, I don't need this drama, and starts to get up and I was like, sit down. He belongs on Vanderpump Rules. Yeah. And I was like, tells me I don't need this drama. I was like, I think I was like, I think you've, like, completely misunderstood. Like, either I'm crazy or I was like, I'm not You are not crazy. I'm not yeah. I was like, I'm I'm not I'm not trying to fight you. Like, I just don't wanna have sex. Like, you I don't wanna have sex with you. Like, you you don't have to be mean to me. You're mean to every girl that that won't drop her panties at the at, you know, at a snap of a finger. Like, you can't be that way. So, he says that he's I mean, it was the most disgusting move I've ever seen from a male. Like, I I guess I just couldn't believe what I saw. And so he sits yeah. Actually, get him to sit back down. I was like, you're not gonna you're not gonna storm out on me. Like, if anybody's gonna storm out, like, it should be me. You're you're the That's why you need to be the one. Yeah. That's why when someone disrespects you like that, you storm out. Yeah. So I tell him Learn this lesson. I was like, look, like, you have the wrong impression. I don't know how this how we got here. I was like, enjoy your beer. Like, just sit. Enjoy your IPA, motherf**ker. Yeah. And so, when it, it turns out that his only intention Go listen to Despacito. Yeah. He clearly, his only intentions were to get in my pants. So then when he realized I'm not like the slut of his dreams, he, decides to peace out. So he grabs his IPA? IPA and his backpack. And his backpack. He buttons up that vest and Walks out. Makes sure he still has his cubic zirconia in his, ear. Mhmm. Can't lose that s**t. Alright. So here's the here's the the grande deux mom. He, 10 minutes later after he leaves, so when he leaves, by the way, it's a very like I wanna read the text. Okay, after he leaves, I mean, when he I'm in your best Orlando voice. Yeah, Okay. Yo. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Yeah. When, I'm sorry. How am I giving away a lot of information by trying to humble on to Despacito? He may be somehow linked to Despacito. He's not, no. No. Warning, warning, he is not linked to Despacito and he doesn't have a home. He carries around a backpack. Girls, be warned. Okay. So when he leaves, he doesn't like I feel like I should get an Amber alert about him. Yeah. He, like, peaces out. Like, he doesn't he doesn't he's just, like, yeah, I'm gonna go. And I was, like, alright. And so he tells my friends bye. He's, like, I I'm leaving. Like, clearly, like, storms out, not like in, you know what I mean, by storming out, like he left, disgruntled, okay? And then about 10 minutes later I get a text from him, Stassie, go. I'm not gonna do an accent because I know I'm gonna I don't like doing things that I know I'm not gonna be good at, so I'm not. So I'm just gonna read this. Sorry, I just found him on Instagram. Yo. So first of all he wrote yo and just sent that one. He couldn't like That was a separate text? A separate text which drives me f**king crazy. Don't make my phone ding a million times. If you're gonna tell me something, at least say it in one text. How much time is in between the texts? Was he trying to see if she would say something else like, hey, I'm so sorry you left, like, let's hook up? Oh my gosh. There is 7 minutes between the texts. He wanted you the yo was hoping that you would write back and be like, oh my god, like, come back or like, oh let's meet up. In between the text? Yeah. He was testing a little. Wait, was the bubble up? No. He might have been talking to the microphone. No. I don't remember a bubble up. This doesn't change anything, but it makes it worse. It makes it worse, I know. Yeah. I remember getting the yo and I was like, I can't believe he just texted me. Yeah. And then I was like, what is he gonna say? Like, what does he want me to say? The bubble was probably up. I just ignored it. I ignored the yo. Well, no s**t. Because who I would never respond to somebody who said yo. Right. I tell Katie this all the time. Katie always texts me, hey, exclamation. I'm like Where's the rest of the information? What what Where's the who, what, and what? What are you, like, what are you trying I don't I don't understand. Like, what do you mean hey? Like, do I just write hey back? Hey. Do you have something to say? Do you have a question for me? I'm confused. Are you asking to hang out? Like, what, like, what's going on? Now, I have to ask all the questions. So, like, now you're taking up more of my time. I will say that the first when he texted me, the the first text he texted me 2 days later, the first thing he said was hey, with a high hand emoji. Your mom's calling. Can I decline it real fast? Yeah. Sorry, mama. Okay. This is what he writes. As politely as I can say, dot dot dot, then he does the, like, new Return? No. He he starts a new paragraph. Yeah. Yes. The return. Starts a new so like, he wanted a line. Yeah. But he wanted like a space between this. Point to make. Yeah. Because he's a CEO. They know how to raise things. They can really make a point. Please erase my number and do not contact me again. Thank you with a thumbs up. He didn't even spell out you. That annoys me. He is a f**king dick. He is a can we prank call him later from a fake number? Oh my god. That would be let's do some witchcraft and prank call him. That would be so fun. From, like, a fake number. Come on. Let me relive my childhood and prank call someone. Give us some joy. I think that like You have nothing else to live for. Y'all do what you want, but I don't I like I think that he maybe was embarrassed and That I'm sorry. Why are you justifying his No. No. His behavior? Who takes the time to write that as offensive as it is? He's embarrassed that he couldn't get you to have sex with him. Yeah. K. I get your rationale because I don't care. That sort I got him have sort of that mindset of, like, alright. Well, trying to, like, rationalize why people do things. But, no. This guy was a f**king dick. The way These are just dicks. The way people react when they lose says everything. Them. 100%. What is that is point. That is Scossy Sports Hour because it's kind of like a sports Another Yeah. Yeah. Can we, like, make another Seriously. And that's a great point. Is there a sport I could reference for that? Like, I don't know if you like when you lose the Super Bowl or the way that you handle it. Shake someone's hand? Yeah. Yeah. He basically he took his ball and went home. Yes. Which is another tool to use. Yes. Because sometimes I do that when I'm but I do it in a nice way. I'm just like, I don't wanna play anymore. No. I'm not saying you do that. I'm saying you've used that term before. You used it about our friend in Santa Monica. Yes. Yes. That is exactly why he sent that. He took his ball and went home. In a very mean way. And if he would've texted you something really kind, I would've been like, oh, f**k. This whole story, I would I'm not even gonna tell it on my podcast because it it ends in a way like, it would've made you rethink things. No. It's like gross. Yeah. No. When when people lose and the way they react that says everything that says all I need to do is sorry for people like that. I don't feel sorry for anyone anymore except the people going through hurricanes. That's it. True. True. True. That's all I feel sorry for. And obviously, rape victims of murder victims, like cancer victims. But I'm saying, like, it's like Like, you know, a lot of other people I do feel like. Okay. Fine. All countries. I I I just don't feel bad for anyone. Anyone, like, that, like, I know that, like, is an a*****e. So, like, there's that. Yeah. He he clearly had some insecurities and, like, but, like, too an extreme Get over it, buddy. Yeah. I don't We've had to get over our s**t. Yeah. We all have our insecurity. I'm kidding. Every single f**king human being get your mentality because I'm sort of like you, but I'm spouting. Yeah. Rachel's nice. Rachel's a little I'm tired of that s**t. Like, if someone's a douche, they're a douche. Yeah. You don't get to treat people like s**t and then have them, like, forgive you. And especially, he didn't even ask for forgiveness. He said lose my number. Don't like, what an a*****e. Yeah. I'm sorry I gave him a chance. Like, really sorry that I like, gave him any of my time. I'm not sorry because this was the best story ever. Story and these are, like, good you've you've been single in a long time. These are good mistakes to make because you're, like, oh, s**t. I won't go to the Ramada Inn ever again. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm at least gonna go somewhere that has, like, high end soap. If they have a bar soap wrapped in packaging and that's all they have in their in their bathroom, you're not going there. Or go to the horror hotel because at least it's funny. Because it's ironic. Yeah. Yeah. It's ironic. I've learned my lesson. I've 100% learned my lesson. Where's my list? Just Okay. Here's your list. And I gotta remember to tell you Cross what? What do you wanna cross off the list of doing? Cross everything off. I've learned all of that already. No. Don't cross it off yet. Because we're gonna laminate it and put it in your pocket. Yeah. So you can pull it out. Are you also gonna put a my phone number and say, if found if this person is found, please return to Stasse's apartment? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Say, like, detective Stasse and Rachel because we're gonna be on the case. I mean, I don't want you to die or anything, but, like, we would have so much fun solving your solving your murder. Listen. We would we would make the best of it. We would find the silver lining. We would Instagram story it. We would find ways to make it funny. Suck if you died, but it would But, like, we would we would we would, you know, we would Yeah. It would give us a lot of material. You warm warms my heart. It just like, I don't know what to say. It's just the sweetest thing. That is the level that is the most emotion Sawzdiner capable of giving. Yeah. Right now. If you die, we'll be happy to solve your murder. You're gonna make it your life's goal to bring justice to my murder. I mean, for me A 100%. By prosecuting my murderer. Yeah. I mean, dude, I wanted to bring justice to what happened to you by tweeting at him and, like, Snapchatting his name and yelling at him. So you're lucky that this is the most that I'm doing, saying Orlando on my podcast. Sometimes you just kinda like you kinda just gotta know. I'm a little more, like, Ned Stark y than that. Sorry to reference Game of Thrones again. I just really believe in justice. You know? Loyalty and justice, motherf**kers. I just hope he's not running around doing this to other girls like this. Of course he is. That's why we wanna talk about it. That's the whole point. Everyone needs to beware PSA. Of the man who wears vests. He has a backpack. Everyone look out for him. He he sometimes wears a cubic zirconia earring but only in one ear. He's a CEO. He doesn't have a home in West Hollywood. He loves daddy Yankee. Okay. My my only thing Watch out. This is what I want. This is what girls have to deal with nowadays. This is what dating is like. This is what it's like out there. I have to go in like 5 minutes. That's fine. Sorry. So, what I wanna all I wanna say is you don't have to, like had I given myself up in the Ramada, I would have done something so stupid with this douchebag I didn't know. So don't ask me to feel pressure to do something. Well, no, know what? But this is a, I know that you have to go right now, but this is a conversation I would love to get in with you at some point. If you want to have sex with someone or you want to hook up with somebody, it sounds like you kind of were a little meaning, like, I hate I know. I don't like this whole, like, stigma about being, like, girls feeling pressured. What if a girl actually wants to Of course. Oh, then by all means. By all means, that, like, more power to you. What my point, I didn't know him. I I was there for, like, I I knew him for 2 hours. Right. Of course, don't feel pressured. If your instinct is to not be sexual with someone and you don't want to, then don't do it. Like, that's it. He tried. Okay? And and somebody made the comment, like, he got a hotel room and you didn't, like, do anything. But Who the f**k made that comment? Name. I don't remember. Really? You didn't even take into account that it was the Ramada Inn? Well, because I was just like, why did you why didn't you just come home? I'm like I was like, what you're saying? I was like, why did you even go to the hotel to do to just, like, hang? Like, who wants to hang? Maybe we're just drunk? I don't know. I was like why wouldn't you wanna come home? You went to a hotel room and you didn't even do anything? Yeah. I was drunk and feeling spontaneous and that's all there is to it. Okay. Yeah. Alright. Fair enough. I got you. What I mean is like thank God, like I went with my natural instincts and my natural well, my instincts of not, like Of not you know, being of not giving away your flower. Yeah. I don't like the giving away. I like it's like I don't wanna say like I'm giving away something. It's like I'm giving you something. You lucky son of a b***h. It's like I'm like I'm like it's like it's not like it's like giving like giving you a it's like I'm giving this dude a gift. Like, he like, not giving away. It's not like he's taking something from me. Yeah. I like yeah. Giving an annoying gift. Like, my Vagine? My vajee. But I was thinking of Corinne because I was looking at my Bachelor in Paradise notes. Does she say vagine? She says vagine. It weirds me out. My vagina is a gift. So it's not to be taken. When someone has sex with me, they're not taking it. I'm giving it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I want to. Yeah. No. I'm not putting down anybody. You know what? We were raised Catholic. I was just able to get out of that mindset way more, like, earlier than you. I'm a weird human. Like they said, I'm a Disney princess. So it's I know. I'm trying to teach her how to masturbate. Okay. Holy s**t. That took a turn. Well, I'm not, like, actually gonna show her. I'm, like, gonna I'm trying to tell her. How are we inducting these? I don't understand. Well, I gave her a vibrator and the fact that she opened the box means that she's halfway there and I'm like, not really. It didn't fit in my my suitcase, like in my thing. It was bulky and that's why I took it out of the box. Oh, so you weren't interested in it. You just got so embarrassed that you had to justify why you took it out of the box. You're so cute. To be perfectly honest, I don't want a vibrator, though. Thank you, Rachel. Well, you don't need a vibrator. Why not? I just because you got ring. You got your hands. You can do there are other ways. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, you don't? You don't? No. I thought you meant specifically a vibrator. People don't need a vibrator in order to Got it. Got it. Make themselves cum. Look, I'm not a 12 year old. I know how the body works. Okay? You don't have to explain that. But I just I want you to cum more into your own and not feel so weird about it. Wouldn't that be funny if y'all I had an alter Yeah. And you were just like before. Like a dominatrix? Yeah. And you're just like into weird s**t. Yeah. True. You always gotta like watch out for the quiet, like, sweet ones. Yeah. What am I wearing right now? Oh, I don't even wanna know. Pink. What is it? Let me see. What does pink have anything to do with anything? It's the color pink. That's mine. It's a flamingo. It's I know. But, yeah, that's yours? Schwartz buys me and Katie Moomoos all the time. Oh, that's cute. It is cute. It was like a Bora Bora. I went on their honeymoon, NBD kind of thing. NBD. So, Alex, I'll let you go. Alright. We are signing off with you because you wanna say the word sign off. We're not signing off in general. Not in general. This is Alex. We're gonna continue a tag. Off. That was great. That was great. That was great, Barbara Walters. Yeah. And I'll take a break real fast. Why do you like Halloween so much? It's always Halloween in my soul. Why do you like Halloween so much? It's always Halloween in my soul. Why do you like Halloween so much? It's always Halloween in my soul. This I'm so f**king sick. Chick. You were meant to have her as a child. Meant to have her as a kid. This is how we stage a kidnapping. So We're really not gonna kidnap her. We're not I swear, we're not gonna do that. Maybe we are, but maybe we're not. Surprise. Like, I I I wanted to talk about something, but before I talk about it, Halloween has something to do with it. But this f**king kid, Ava, I can't even this kid that's taking over Instagram and like I I really, like, I really mean it when I say if I don't have a kid like that, like, I'm totes okay with, like, giving it away. You're gonna give it to Alex. Yeah. That was the plan. Like, Alex can have a game plan. Alex can have the kid if my kid's not, like, funny. Like, I want to have a baby I think it's great that you have a plan in mind. To have, like, fun with and, like, laugh with and all that s**t. Mhmm. Totally. I mean Even mini you? Obviously. What if it's a boy? Then you guys the psychic said that. Brother, the psychic told me I was gonna have 2 boys and I cried and I was like, what the actual f**k? No. I'm not meant for boys. I don't relate to boys. Well, if they're, like, really adorable, funny gay ones. Then that's different. That'd be awesome. That would be fun. That'd be great. So many funny Instagram stories we could make. Okay. So after I played that, I have a reason for that. Because I was reading an article the other day and I was like, Oh my God. I just realized when I am, like, the moment I turn into my most basic b***h self. When? Fall. Why? You don't drink pumpkin spice lattes, do you? I don't like coffee, but I do. Like like, I don't even like coffee that much. Give me a list of things you do that are basic b***h and fall. Oh, basic b***h and fall? Because I don't know if I can be your friend anymore. I watch Hocus Pocus and I will only watch Hocus Pocus. That's awesome. During That's called joy. Halloween, layering, CVS decorations, haunted hayrides, carving pumpkins while we listen to, like, the new Taylor Swift song on repeat. All of those things sound awesome minus the Taylor Swift part. So maybe you're a little more like me than you thought. I think those sound, like, fun. How is that basic? Exactly. We're basic. Basic. People that don't like those things don't like joy. Those are fun. But, like, when you think about, like, the summer, I'm like, I don't do basic s**t during the summer. I'm like, I just want everything to say. Take a photo of us in both in white bikini bottoms, topless in Mexico. Hey. I got a lot of likes on that photo. But I definitely staged that based on a photo I have seen of another basic b***h probably. Okay. So we did A little basic. I was going through a hard time in Mexico. Good point. So that is now ate ant eggs in Mexico, and that's not basic. So I balanced it out by eating ant eggs. Checks and balances. Yes. That's called accounting, b***hes. So in spring, I'm not a basic b***h. I you won't ever see me with a photo of f**king peonies, like, at the farmer's market with a basket and, like, peonies. I don't know the last time I was at a farmer's market. No s**t because it's hot outside. I mean, if it's a walk and you're carrying stuff, carrying the big small talk and, like, barter and trade with the wicked. Are you really gonna action with the merchant? Yeah. Like, are you hot? It is. It's like a lot. I'm not good at bargain bargaining, man. Or, like, what's it called? Is that what it's called? Bargaining? Barter bargaining. Yeah. I can't. Like, if they were to say, like, these this box of strawberries is a $100, I'd be like, okay. Take take my purse. Take everything I have. Take everything I have. I don't know how to talk them down. So, like No. That's not your thing. No. I I I can't with the farmers market. It's like everybody pretending to be like, I love organic, and I just like everything to be all natural. When you say you like organic, you just like to spend more money on s**t. That's all it is. But I like to spend money on s**t. Yeah. But like but your stuff is tangible. Yeah. It's not like you don't eat it. s**t that I don't s**t out. Yeah. It's s**t that I can wear. Good point. Good point. s**t that I can look at. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And doesn't make you fat. Well, I mean sometimes we spend money on things. That make us fat? Yeah. Just booze. Like nice restaurants. Good point. Yeah. Sometimes we do that. Alright. Fair enough. Damn it. But then winter? Don't feel like a basic b***h either. It's just fall. It's just fall. Come on, you must do something basic in winter. Yes, you must. Oh no, you love Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. You do basic s**t. I love that. I love Christmas, that's it. But I don't do basic things. What would be basic in the winter besides Christmas? I don't know. Wearing apple picking? Oh, apple f**king does that? That's melting. I don't know. Taking a photo in front of a snowman with my with my bae? Oh, I I I want to stab the person that does that. Can we bring bae back though, like, in, like, an ironic way? I really I wanna separate out how angry I get about dumb s**t like that. Like, a photo like that actually makes me feel physical anger, and I don't know what that says about me. No. I when I say Am I just a No. When I scroll through Instagram or Facebook, my mood shifts so quickly based on what photo is popping up because it drives me f**king crazy. But I feel like we're so cynical that, like, I see a photo of someone with, like, in front of a snowman or whatever, in front of whatever they're doing, whatever season it is, holding a hand of their boyfriend and saying, bae, I'm like, oh, they just got in a fight right before. I full on believe that. Are we just negative or Or smart. Smart? I don't know. Or we're just creating our own narrative to make ourselves feel better. Listen, I was just in a relationship so and I still felt this way. Yeah. Well, you didn't post annoying s**t. Because I'm not annoying. I love that you posted your I'm not trying to make fun of you. You posted the nice you've almost never posted something with Patrick and you posted an anniversary post 3 days basically before. Well, yeah, on our anniversary, 3 days. And it was at work. A couple days before, you were on a limb. Yeah. I mean, but I was really sarcastic. Oh, you were sarcastic, but still, that's a lot for you. The fact that I even had knowledge, yes, that there was an anniversary or That he was a human that existed. That's it. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Fine. I'm gonna be a good girlfriend. I'm gonna be like, help someone. This is why you can't be a good person. You can never you can never win. The nicer you are, the worse. It doesn't work. No. That's why I need to just, like Well, like abusive people, I think. I think I need we, like, we need to harden our hearts. You're already there. I'm halfway there. Starting to get there. It actually just happened in, like, the last month or so. Really? I I had a few instances being single where I felt a little open. Like, alright. I'll give that a shot. I feel like I might be a sociopath at this point where I'm just like I don't think so. I just You're hardened. It's hard. Yeah. I'm hard. I can tell you've hardened. Yeah. I love it. It feels better for me but I don't think it's gonna serve me very well. Why? Man, do I like putting a wall up. That's a blast. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't think that's a I feel like that's like a Game of Thrones thing. I was just about to make a reference but then I looked at you and I was like, this b***h doesn't watch Game of Thrones. I know enough about it to know that. The wall went down in the finale, so it's like But did Kalisa have walls up? She's tough. Yes. Daenerys has walls up. But they came down when she finally had sex with Jon Snow. Fine. Eventually. It's gotta be a Jon Snow. Fine. Something it's gonna take a lot. Right. I don't know why I'm yelling. Oh, I didn't even realize that there was gonna be this dynamic of the fact that now you've been single for a year. Mhmm. 9 months, but close. Or whatever. Yeah. Now I'm newly single for what, a month and a half? And I'll be able to, like, give you insight on, like, the 3 month mark of how you might feel for a 6 month. Unless because everyone has a different experience but I definitely feel like the last month or so feels way different than the 6, 7 months before. It's the hardened part maybe. But I feel hard enough already. It's still fun to go out on dates but it's like, I'm not quite as hopeful in the sense of like, oh. I'm just like, well, yeah, this is fine. Yeah. Sure. Okay. I think we mean hardened in a different way. Well, I also don't really trust people either. I don't know. Well, what do you mean by hardened? I mean hardened is that is in that, like, I don't have, like I feel I felt like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho That's why I think I'm a sociopath. When I, like, was talking to my therapist being like, why am I not crying anymore? That's what I mean by And, like, I'm really annoyed that I'm not, like, sad and depressed and crying because, like, I was getting so skinny. It was awesome not eating and, like, throwing up, like, every cracker you tried to make me eat. I caught her on the floor in the bathroom in Mexico so many times. And I was like, oh, god. What do I do? It's like, why? Pulse. What's happening? She's crying. Why couldn't that pain that that that intense pain have lasted just a little longer, gave me a few more weeks for me to have that pain? Like, I would just You're still riding it out. Not the pain but the skinny part. You're alright. I'm trying to make it last. Yeah. You're too young. I'm aware. But I totally that's what I mean by heart. That's what I mean I feel like I'm a sociopath where I'm like something that I thought would upset me so much. I'm like, I got over that way too fast. I feel weird. What's wrong with me? But are we just growing up? But did you feel but okay. Even though you got over things fast, did but you had moments right in the beginning where you felt it and dealt it. Right? I had probably 2 experiences being single where I would, like, maybe got, like, a little anxious. Well, the one the one most recently where I actually were like, maybe that's why all of a sudden I feel like a sociopath because I'm like, it really hurt me. And then But then a day later I felt like I was over it and I was like, what the f**k is wrong with me? It felt I don't know. I I yeah. I don't know. I mean, there are no rules. Yeah. But it's a weird feeling to I don't know if it's growing up or just just Or just realizing or just becoming harded. Yeah. Or just becoming harded. Like you really can't count on anyone but yourself? Yeah. Because, ma'am, when we were in our early twenties, I think anyone could have hurt my feelings. And now it's like it would take a lot to let someone like, I'm just not gonna let you hurt me. I hope that that is how I'm walking into my single life. I don't know if that's a good thing though. Is it like I'm not gonna meet someone because I'm too hardened? No. I don't think so. I don't think I think you're just I also think guys like wounded birds. What? I've been worried about that too. Are you serious? Do you want it's a new theory I have. No. Why? Okay. Okay. So they like So they can feel more like a man? Yeah. They like okay. They like confident independent women, blah blah blah. Whatever. No. That's a lie. But but then but they don't think that you need them at all. And so, like, they like to feel like they have a purpose. Right? Where, like, the girl sort of needs them? I don't know. I'm I'm I've been working through this and trying to figure it out. Talking to my mom about it. I'm trying to figure it out too. I don't know. But I'm not gonna be anything I'm not. So I guess that they have to just like it for what it is. Yes. Yeah. You're right. Can hide my drinking a little better. Like, that's fine. I'm not gonna hide it. I'm not gonna hide that s**t. Well, you know, you just hide it a little bit. You know what I mean? I mean, why? Which is like when you go on a date, you don't say, hey, I had 5 c**ktails before. You round it down to 2, which is what I did last night. But that's a lie. Yeah. But we're not really into lies. Can you imagine if you were like I was last night, I was dead sober on the date after probably having 4 c**ktails with you guys. Right? Which is a problem for us. The fact that we're sober after Yeah. That's the problem. Can you imagine? And then I had because he was starting to get a little buzz and then I had 2 on the date and Kevin, like, you're drinking so slow. And I was like, oh, no. No. I'm fine. He's like and he's like, have more. You're fine. I'm like, can you imagine if I would have said to him, well, I had 5 drinks before this. Can you imagine if those words came out of my mouth? If a guy said that to me, I'd be like, holy s**t. I would be like, soulmates. But I would even I would be like, oh, guys, I've got a problem. Could you imagine if I said, no. I had 5 drinks before this. No. You round down. Okay. And I and even as a joke, maybe asks me how many drinks have you had before? He didn't ask me. I've blurred it out. But even at 2 when I was like, oh, no. I was like, no, no. I'm drinking. I was like, I had 2 drinks before this. He was like, you did? Really? And I was like, yeah. Duh. He was shocked by the 2. Can you imagine if I told the truth? Oh my gosh. He would be like, what the f**k is wrong with me? I would but I I feel like I'm at the point though now where because I was single last year and dated different people last year, that now I'm like, dude, if you don't like me for all that I am, then, like, baiza. Totally, I agree. Yeah. So, like, if you don't like that I think you know all I am is in 2 Drake's. I don't need to terrify them. I also don't want them to call my parents. It's a that's a lot. Okay. Fine. If anybody ever asks me how many drinks I had before the date, I'm just gonna say 1. Yeah. Or 1 or 2. 1. Because you can make it funny, like, oh, I already had 2. Like, uh-uh. You know? Right. But don't tell them the honest answer. Well, I hope Don't tell them that you opened a beer at 10 AM. Well, I hope no one listens to this podcast. So there's that. Wait. I didn't open a beer at 10 AM today. No, I know. But yesterday, you're doing really good really? Right? Yeah. I didn't I didn't get over here till the afternoon, though. When I know that I don't have to work and I can have a degenerate date, it's like Yeah. f**k yeah. That's the best part of being single. I wake up in the morning. Like, I'm like, it's like the world's my playground. I'm just like, I can do whatever the f**k I want. Yes. If I wanna pour a drink, no one's here to judge me. If I wanna sit on my couch and not do anything, by all means. Last night I got home late, watched a little Bachelor in Paradise, ordered Jack in the Box Heck yes. Like a fat ass, extra ranch That's awesome. And it was really fun. I actually ordered kitchen 24 2 nights ago and ate it. This is and I took a video of it. I deleted the video because it was sad. I sat on my floor in my bedroom and ate it because I thought, like, sitting on my bed would be too sad to be eating my takeout food and it was, like, 2 AM. Why don't you sit in your living room? I don't know. I maybe That makes zero sense. I don't know. It was really weird. Like, were you like, you don't have a TV in your bedroom. I sat there alone and in silence. Like, that actually creeps me out. Like, if I would've walked into that situation, I feel like that's like a haunted house. I feel like that is something that's a true haunted house. Don't remember what it is now. I feel like I did something weird like that when we were was it where you're in Vegas? Remember when you walked in and I was sleeping or sitting, like, straight up? Oh my god. You thought I was a murderer? Oh my gosh. This one time, y'all Where were we? We were, because we got in a fight because No. That wasn't the time we got in a real fight. No. It wasn't a real fight but you got mad at me because I was, like, recording you or something. Yeah. Because you actually thought I was a casino. And I was very drunk so I was like, this is freaking me out. Was it in Connecticut? That might yeah. That's where yes. I knew it was in a casino but it wasn't Vegas. Yes. So Rachel and I always share rooms because we like We like naps. We like sleeping. Well, I actually don't like naps. Not naps. I meant rest. Yes. I like rest. I like to go to sleep at a normal hour. I like to wake up or, I mean, Rachel wakes up early no matter what. I like but I don't like to wake up early by any means, but I just like sleeping. I'm not on the Xanax. I I don't like when people make me stay up later than I want to stay up. It drives me crazy. I think it's torture. So Rachel and I always room together whenever we're on group trips. And one time, I don't know how people kept me up later and she was already in the room and I walked in. And I think the lights were on too. I felt like I felt like I was sitting up. I mean, I was in the bed but I was just sitting straight up. She was sitting straight up. I mean like perpin f**king dickular. Okay? And just a perfect 90 degree angle, if you will. Or 45 degree angle? Which is not right? I think it's yeah, because 180 is like, I don't know. We're morons. Whatever. You guys feel flat. Right? Yeah. It's 90 degree angle. So a 90 degree angle. That's perpendicular. Your legs and legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your f**king body was perpendicular. And your eyes open. So like Like right when you walked in too because I'm a Lexicon. But I didn't see you open your eyes. They already because you opened your eyes right before I got like to the hallway part, past the hallway part, it looked like But I wasn't like, hey. No. It was just because I had just woken up so it was just like Okay. But it looked like you were the exorcist just sitting there staring at the wall, eyes wide open. I felt like, oh s**t. s**t is about to go down. You actually thought it was going down. I have no idea what's happening right now. It's so scary. It was really that was I don't wanna save that Snapchat. And you actually were having a meltdown. No. Yeah, because I was drunk enough to actually be scared. You were taking Snapchats where you're like, I don't know what to do. She's like really scary. You went in the bathroom. Yes. It was weird. It was weird. And then you got mad and you're like, you know what, no. And took my phone from me or something and I was like, oh my god, now she actually is no. You woke me up from my slumber. It's Armageddon, you guys. They're coming to judge us and I'm probably going to hell. I'm not ready for it yet. Okay. f**k this. Okay. You're gonna do a bachelor recap? I have to go do a brand new set of podcasts right now. I don't even feel like doing a bachelor recap because bachelor's like kinda boring me right now. I've been trying to watch it and like, I just have so many basic opinion. I don't know. I mean, I've been following it on Twitter. They say everyone sucks except for Wells, basically. Well, I wouldn't say sucks. It's just like Dude wise, I guess? It's not that it's not it's not holding me in. Like, I'm not I'm not, like, on the edge of my seat like I normally am from Bachelor in normally, I like I treat Bachelor in Paradise like Game of Thrones. Yeah. Really? And it's not but that's how I felt, like, about Bachelorette last season. So gonna skip Bachelor in Paradise. So peace, everyone. We're gonna do spells tonight. Pimp yourself out. Follow me on social media at rachelnobrian, r I c h a e l n o b r I e n. Listen to my podcast on Apple Podcast, SoundCloud, all the s**t. Be Here For A While is the name of it. That's the top. Bye. Bye, Khaleesi's.
Stassi sits down with Sarah Hoover to discuss her memoir, The Motherload which is Stassi?s absolute favourite. Sarah opens up about her experiences with postpartum depression, childbirth trauma, and those first few years of motherhood when she felt completely disconnected from her baby. It?s a raw, relatable conversation that will make every mom feel seen and less alone. They dive into the messy, beautiful truths of motherhood, the identity shifts, the boring baby classes, and the magical moments that make it all worth it. Plus, they swap spooky ghost stories (because why not?) and how they?ve found their groove as mom?s. This episode is like a cozy chat with your besties?honest, empowering, and a reminder that you?re not alone in the wild ride of motherhood.
This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Caraway Home - Visit Carawayhome.com/STASSI10 for an additional 10% off your next purchase or use code Stassi10 at checkout. Boll and Branch - Get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at BollAndBranch.com/stassi. Quince - Go to Quince.com/stassi for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
Stassi is spilling all the royal tea in this episode, and it?s all about the one and only Marie Antoinette! Joined by Even the Royals co-hosts Brooke Siffrin and Aricia Skidmore-Williams, they?re diving into the life of history?s most glamorous (and controversial) queen.
They?re breaking down the wildest rumors, the scandalous 18th-century tabloids (think TikTok drama channels), and the infamous Diamond Necklace Affair that helped topple the monarchy. Turns out, Marie was the original victim of cancel culture?hated for things she didn?t even do. Stassi opens up about her deep connection to Versailles, sharing why she?s so drawn to its opulence and drama. Together, they debate the highs and lows of royal life and tie it all together with a chat about Meghan Markle.Â
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Stassi is joined by her sister Georgi for a fun-filled catch-up packed with laughs and sisterly banter. They dive into the age-old debate: who?s got it worse?middle kids or firstborns? (Hint: Stassi?s the firstborn and has opinions.) They also dish on Hartford?s Wicked-meets-Frozen birthday bash and chat about how parents today are upping their playground game to avoid mom-shaming. Stassi fangirls over Outlander?s latest time-travel twists, reminisces about rocking the Castlecore vibe before it was trendy, and wraps up with dreamy Jonathan Bailey moments. This episode is pure sisterly fun!
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In the short but terrible time that we thought TikTok was gone, Stassi had some big realizations?like maybe high-stress situations aren?t her thing. Thankfully, TikTok survived, and now she?s joined by hysterical TikTok star Max Balegde! They spill royal tea, laugh about Max?s sweaty hands debacle, and swap stories about Disney conspiracy theories. From Samuel L. Jackson?s unrecorded interview to Max?s rise from viral videos to international TV, this episode is packed with hilarious moments and UK vibes. All thanks to the app that almost wasn?t!
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Stassi and Beau share their deeply personal story of navigating the Los Angeles wildfires, where everything changed in an instant. As they struggled to manage their fear and panic?Stassi showing hers outwardly, Beau trying to stay calm?they worked together to prepare their kids and make the emotional decision to evacuate their beloved home before winds kicked back up this week.
They reflect on how losing a home, whether you?re a celebrity or not, is about so much more than walls?it?s about memories, safety, and love. They are both consumed with thoughts of those who have lost absolutely everything they have worked hard to build. It's unimaginable. If you feel inclined to donate, at the end of the episode, they share some organizations supporting wildfire victims that are making a big difference.
This episode is sponsored by: OUAI - Go to THEOUAI.com and use code STASSI for 15% off any product. Thrive Causemetics - Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/STASSI. Progressive - Find insurance options within your budget at Progressive.com . Thrive Market - Head to ThriveMarket.com/stassi to get 30% off your first order, plus FREE $60 gift. Nutrafol - Get $10 off and free shipping at Nutrafol.com with code STASSI. Caraway - Visit Carawayhome.com/STASSI10 for an additional 10% off your next purchase or use code Stassi10 at checkout.
Stassi and C-O-Lo are kicking off 2025 with some major New Year's energy! After a long break with her kids, she?s feeling emotional about Hartford growing up?especially now that her daughter lives in her Elphaba outfit and has her contemplating a Frozen-meets-Wicked birthday party mashup. Stassi is on a mission to find her word of the year, taking inspo from Meghan Markle?s resilience, and spilling on how she?s tackling social anxiety as part of her New Year's goals. Plus, she?s narrowing down her signature scent and embracing her forever love for Castlecore (she was into it before it was trendy). New year, new magic, and all the energy focused on manifesting positivity!
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Stassi and her bestie Taylor Strecker are diving into holiday laughs and festive fun in this special Christmas Day episode. They kick things off dreaming up Jesus? signature cocktail (espresso martini or Prosecco?) and laughing about Stassi?s idea for a gallery-worthy painting of Jesus with his drink of choice?sorry, Beau! TikTok panic is real as Stassi preps for its possible farewell, and Taylor spills the tea on hosting Anna Delvey at her holiday party. From cheetah-print ornaments to Santa Barbara Christmas plans and toddler-level Santa logistics, it?s holiday magic, laughs, and plenty of inappropriate gifts. Cheers!
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Stassi and C-O-Lo are bringing the holiday cheer and a side of awkwardness in this festive episode! Stassi dives into her deep discomfort with opening gifts in front of people (can we normalize private gift-opening, please?) and shares her hilarious white elephant story, complete with sneaky gift-hiding. They chat about the lost art of thank-you cards, go-to holiday gift ideas, and the magic of Elf on the Shelf. Plus, Stassi vents about Beau hijacking her perfectly curated wrapping aesthetic, and they swap stories about revealing the big secret about Santa. It?s all things holiday, with laughs, relatable rants, and plenty of sparkle!
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Stassi?s back, and this time, Beau joins her for what?s basically a podcast date night. They kick things off with Stassi?s mysterious chin pain and dreams of a Mommy Makeover before diving into a hilarious game of questions. From social media icks like caption cringe and overused filters to conspiracies about secret celebrity tunnels with elite Starbucks, nothing?s off-limits. Stassi debates how she?d prove she?s from the future (witch or leader vibes?), and Beau dreams of a 1960s sports car while Stassi plans to splurge on Versailles antiques. It?s all fun, laughs, and a lot to talk about with these two!
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Stassi kicks off December with her BFF Taylor Strecker for a hilarious chat that covers everything from Christmas chaos to internet trolls. Stassi shares her dream of escaping LA?s holiday monotony, and the duo swaps parenting stories, like Messer?s energy overload to Hartford tattling on bounce house kids, and Stassi hilariously ?tells on herself? as a self-proclaimed narc They dive into celebrity gossip, including Taylor?s viral Page Six moments, and dish on beauty trends like preventative facelifts. Add yin-yang twin dynamics, Stassi's awkward Moana premiere moment, and a little Lindsey Lohan glow-up admiration?it?s holiday overload!
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