Transcript
Welcome to my podcast. I need a hey, girl, hey. I don't have one. I don't have one. It's welcome to me. Welcome to me. I like welcome to me. I think welcome to me should be your hey, girl, hey. You can borrow my hey, girl, hey if you want to. I mean I would never. I would never. That's yours. Welcome to me is Yes. It it does it feels right. Taylor Strecker, thanks for being with me today to finally just catch up because this is pretty much our only time for us to really, like, truly catch up. Every time I try and FaceTime you, it's impossible because my kids are around, so I can't have a normal conversation. I was gonna say, you FaceTimed me, like, a few days ago and which is, like, that's an emergency. Like, something has happened. Because Stasi, by the way, never ever I never cold FaceTimed people. Like, I I I respect human beings. I respect other people. I don't cold FaceTime anyone. If I do, yes, you know it's an emergency. This time, however, wasn't an emergency. I just realized it was Sunday morning, and I was with the kids, and I realized, oh, s**t. I forgot to ask Taylor what time and what day she could do this my podcast this week. And I'm like, s**t. Like, my Wednesday's all booked up. Thursday's Halloween. Friday, Sonia, our nanny, is leaving town, so it's like we're on our own. We're Are you okay? It's gonna be the wild, wild west for, like, 10 days. 10 days. Yeah. So, me, I've literally told Lo, like, please do not schedule anything. Like, I'm just gonna Got it. Mom Makes sense. The f**k out of life. That's that's it. Yeah. So I'm like, s**t. So as I was going to text you on Sunday, my kids were around, and then Hartford was like, what are you doing? What are you doing on the phone on the phone? I'm like, I'm texting Taylor. And she goes, I wanna talk to Taylor. So I was like, fine. I'll just I'll cold I will cold FaceTime, and I felt rude. I felt rude. First of all, there's a few people that can call FaceTime me, and you are absolutely at the top of that list. Okay? There's a very small pool of people, and you are one of them. Appreciate you. It was delightful. Both the kids were so delicious, chaotic. Stassi literally made Hartford like this. Say, love you. Bye. Sorry for the chaotic phone call. And she's sorry for the chaotic phone call. No, but just know because I respect you and human beings so much. Yeah. Before I called FaceTimed you, I did go to Teddy's Instagram stories. I don't know why I didn't go to yours. I just was, like, honestly, why would more reliable. Yeah. You're the one that would just bother. Yeah. I'm always, like, 5 days behind in my story. So, like, if I wanted I wanted to make sure you guys weren't having, like, some either romantic trip or fun trip with all your besties in New York or, like, doing something important. So I go to look at Teddy's stories, and I'm like, oh, they're building a, Porch. A giant bed fort at their house. They're doing nothing. I think I can FaceTime them. So, like, I I I did that. But sorry. Will you explain to me the 4th? I did answer topless, but I had my covers over me. But I just because I sleep I sleep topless. I sleep like like a stripper, basically. Right. So, like, underpants, nothing else. That's just so funny because, like, I sleep like a newborn baby with as many things on me as possible. Like, I just feel like being naked. Hands buttoned closed. You're, like, in a sack. That bow, like, wraps you up before you slumber. Literally. Uh-uh. I am like, if I sleep in, like, any sort of long sleeves, I will have nightmares all night long. My body temperature needs to be, like, 0. I cannot be hot. Hotness leads to nightmares. I agree with you. It's just I go to bed covered, then throughout the night, I take off all the things. Oh, it's like a sexy strip for Beau for sure while he's in REM. But what about this fort? What it Well, I am married to a child. You guys are such lesbians. It's like No. It's Literally you're really beyond. Building a fort on your Saturday afternoon. I just wanna be clear. Just to be clear, this was a Taylor Donahue adventure. Okay? It was a single woman show. I joined her because I'm a supportive partner, but I woke up on Saturday, and I was like, we're gonna do this, this, this, this, and this. And Tay was like, I'm gonna build a fort and get an ice cream cake. And I was like, okay, LOL. Hold on. Very specific. Sorry. I know. What was what was on your to do list first? Hold on. What what did you wake up Saturday fresh faced thinking that you were gonna do? You know, laundry because we just got back from Andrew Collins wedding. I really wanna go through my closets and, like, throw out s**t I don't need. There's also this fabulous secondhand store. It's not vintage. Look. I'm gonna keep it real. It's secondhand, but I'm gonna, like, drop off all my s**t that I bought that I've never worn or whatever. So I was like, I a b***h have productive things to do. Okay? Okay. And then Teddy said Fort ice cream cake. And I don't even like ice cream cake. So it's not my fave. Wait. No. Like It's really not. Like, it's Bo's favorite too. And I'm like, it's not real cake. It's just ice cream. It's ice cream with crunchies. Yes. So ice cream with crunchies. And subpar whipped faux cream that tastes like like plastic on my tongue. Agreed. Like, I'll eat it. I'm not saying I don't like it. It's just you can't call it cake. I'm with you. Just because it's shaped like a cake doesn't make it a f**king cake. It's just an it's just an excessive amount of ice cream is what it is. And when you put it back in the freezer, like, it's never the same. Like, after you, like, cut into it for the first time, it's never the same. For some reason well, yeah, because you, like, keep it out, you cut it, and then it, like, melts into, like, a weird soggy shape, and then it's gross. But you put it back in the freezer because you're like, I don't wanna throw this away or waste it. Then you take it out of the freezer, and it's frozen slop. That's not a cake. It's not a cake. It's got freezer burn all over it. Yeah. So but, like, I just want her to live her best life. You know what I mean? And also, I mean, give me a reason to not be productive. I'll I'll take it in the center of a finger. So For sure. We laid and we rotted on our air bed. And by the way well, I'm sorry. Not it was an air bed she blew up. I was just about to say. Okay. It it looks like couches. Okay. Are is an air bed comfortable? I'm under the impression they're not. Honestly, this one's pretty good. It's a it's a newer make, a newer model. I'll I'll link in story. Okay? She'll link in story. But it's, I mean, listen. It actually was pretty comfortable, and it didn't deflate that much. And, well, FYI, it's still up. And so now we live in a fort. So after you guys made this or after Teddy made this fort? Correct. It has it has feather down comforts on it. I mean, this is a f**king fort. Okay. That changes it. That changes it. Now I understand why it's why it's comfortable. What did you do? Did you watch? Did you giggle? Did you tell stories? Did you gossip? Like, what did you do? You'll be so excited. We watched, Interview with a Vampire. Soap? In honor of you. In honor of you. In honor of you. The movie? The movie? Yeah. The the movie's like, I've watched the show. I didn't finish it. It's good. But, like, the movie good? It's good. But, like, the movie is It it's it's a classic for a reason. It's turnt and it's so you, FYI. It's so So it's tossy coated? There are no words. Thank you. I mean, I've been thinking this for forever, but to have somebody else say it about me means the world. Thank you. You are so welcome. You're giving Tom Cruise, and I hope Yeah. Receive that as a compliment. No. Like, I know. So, like, this is the thing. Like, I'm a self aware queen. Okay? Do I want to be the Tom Cruise in this situation? No. No. I do not. Like, I'd like to think of myself as, like, the Brad Pitt, you know, just selfless and, you know, heroic and all that s**t. But let's call a spade a spade. I am the Tom Cruise evil mastermind controlling freak of a human being that is Lestat. Like, that is me. And I look like I look like Lestat. Let's be real. You don't look like Lestat. Yes. I do. Unless you want to. I do. I do. When I'm hungover, I do. First of all, let's just keep it 100 and say what his name is. His name is LSAT. Okay? Like, the like, the test for law school. So like that like Lestat, that's LSAT. And I could see right through it. I took the LSAT. Game recognizes game. Okay? Lestat. Lestat. No? I don't like it. No. Lestat is just I should have named Messer Lestat. No. I'm very happy. Lestat Clark. I'm very happy you didn't. So we watched that. We watched a bunch of movies, and suddenly Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I need to I need to defend Lestat one one last time. Okay? Objectly. Like, he has a lot of pressure. You know, like, there's a lot riding on his shoulders. Like, what? Torture people? No. Like, he's the one who has to, like, make sure he was the not the original vampire, but, like, the original for that household. Like, he took Brad Pitt in, showed him the ropes. He has to keep the train moving because if Lestat's not around, nothing's, like, working in the right way. The house isn't working in the right way. Like, life's not working the right way. So when Yeah. Brad Pitt goes and, like, does his own thing, you know what I mean? It's like you're you're f**king up with everything that I've built for us. Like, so if You're not you're not strong. Like, he he holds a lot of pressure. Brad Pitt would never be able to even survive. He would've he would've he would've somehow unlived himself accidentally probably if it wasn't for Tom. So or he would've just become decrepit and all because he would've never sucked the blood. Exactly. Yeah. You're right. I mean, justice for Lizat. Justice for LSAT. Justice just to justice for LSAT. When you're a parent, especially a new parent, you're like your kids get to the age where it's time to start giving them vitamins. And it's kind of confusing. You don't know where to turn because when you were a kid, or at least when I was a kid, our parents, my parents just, like, gave me vitamins that I would not give my kids now. Like, basically, just candy in disguise filled with sugar, unhealthy chemicals, or, like, gummy junk that I just don't feel was right. So when Hartford got to the age where I was supposed to be giving her vitamins, I was like, what do I do? And I was introduced to Haya, which saved me, and we never looked back. Not only is Hartford obsessed with the taste, like, she wants her vitamins, she runs around the house saying, vitamin e, vitamin e, but I know everything that's in a Haya vitamin. And it's non GMO. It's vegan, dairy free, allergy free, gelatin free, nut free, and everything else you can imagine. And on top of that, they have all of the things you need. They're blended with 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitamin d, b 12, c, zinc, folate, and all the others to help support immunity, energy, brain function, mood, concentration, teeth, bones, and more. So everything you need for your little kid to be healthy, strong, all of that. And we've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal, you must go to hiyahealth.com/stassy. This deal is not available on the regular website. So go to hiyahealt.com/stassy and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. One of my favorite parts about fall, besides everything about fall, is, like, switching up my makeup, doing like a moodier vibe, you know, inspired by, like, pumpkin spice and whatever autumn glam and all that stuff. I am a makeup girly. I try all the things. I wear makeup every day. You're not gonna see me out of the house without makeup. Never. And one of my favorite makeup companies, like, I always have them in my makeup routine or my makeup bag, I even throw a lot of the stuff in my purse, is Thrive Cosmetics. Not only do I feel good about it because they're 100% vegan, cruelty free, and have 0 parabens, sulfates, all that stuff, like, so I know it's it's good on my skin, but I just love it. I mean, I became so committed to their mascara for so long. I I was using all these different mascaras, and they would go under my eyes. I'm like, what is the deal? Then I tried their mascara, and because it's the tubing situation, stays put all day, all night. I'm never turning back. But what I also love about Thrive Cosmetics, they have this eye brightener stick. Just put them in the corners of my eyes, brightens my face. Love, love, love the eye shadow sticks. So, like, those are always in my purse, especially there's this, like, brown taupey one and this gold one, and I use them both together. And like I said, it's like I've said this before, cream eyeshadows, cream everything, that's in. And it just makes me feel glowy and dewy. Thrive Cosmetics, it's the best. So spice up your fall look with Thrive Cosmetics, luxury beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com/stasse. That's thrive cosmetics, causemetics.com/stasse for 20% off your first order. Okay. What else did you watch? You did that. A a bunch of movies that I actually want my life back from. Although, we did watch this Zoe Kravitz movie, Blink Twice. Oh. No good. That's on our your minds. Yeah. Bo and I keep saying we're gonna watch that, and then we just, like, never actually decide, like, okay. Tonight's the night we're watching Blink Twice. But now that I know you liked it. Yes. Heavy subject matter, definitely trigger warning. There actually is a trigger warning on the movie Oh. Itself. But, yeah, it's all about the patriarchy. And speaking of the patriarchy, we should mention that we are recording this ahead of the election. 100%. Yeah. This episode's coming out November 6. Okay. Yes. So, like, we don't know what's going on. The the fact that we're not talking about it isn't like a conspiracy. It's not that we don't have opinions. It's it's Yes. This was recorded ahead of time. K? And I think it's part of the at the top of the show. I know. People are gonna listen to the first 10 minutes and be like, they're not even talking about whatever. Whatever. How about if we are your you we are your escape from whatever From whatever. The results are. We don't know at this point. We do not know. But I could pray. I can't You can't. Pray. I am I am deeply and while, like, the amount of work I'm trying to, like, fit in all this week before next week, which is now this week because we're in a Yeah. A warp. I because I'm I'm scared I won't I'm gonna be catatonic. I'm scared I won't be able to function. I'm scared I'm scared. I don't wanna go in. I don't wanna I don't let's not be negative. Let's don't fear things Okay. That aren't real yet. You know? I'm a big fan of, like, crossing the bridge when I I come up to the bridge. You know? Right. Worry is point What's what's the point? All that does is make your life miserable every day and night. Like, it's not helping anything when there's nothing you can do about the situation. Correct. Correct. Correct. But just so you guys know, we don't know. We don't know. We don't know. So, about us. Yeah. Wait. Real quick. I have to ask you because, you know, I'm me, and I'm gonna make this about me. Mhmm. Are you are you still in a spiral of FOMO from my launch party? No. I haven't thought about it since, if I'm gonna be honest. Did you have any FOMO? No. Wow. That hurts. The thing is I did. I had the FOMO when I talked to you guys on the phone because for some reason, I wasn't checking social media that day or, like, I didn't see it. So I didn't get to experience the FOMO in real time. In real time. Like, I don't know. I missed it. And then when I talk to you, you're like, oh, well, I haven't really posted. And I'm like, okay. Makes sense. So I guess everybody else posted. Then you went and posted. But because it had already happened, it's like I'm like, oh, the FOMO is because but congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate. Congratulations. That is something that I should be there for. And if I didn't have children, I would have flown out for. I know you would have. Listen. It like, once kids are in play, it's a whole different set of friend roles. Give me a break. And also, you know me, I'm not very, like, like although I guess with that, I would if if you had no kids, I would have been like, b***h, come. Yes. And I've, of course, would. This is the thing. How's it gonna work when you have kids? I am so scared about this. There, like, truly are no words. Like, I I am actually worried about it. Yeah. Because you and Teddy have to be the bendy ones because you can. But, like, what happens when none of us can be bendy? I don't yeah. I I mean, like, I feel like either we're gonna be the type of parents who are, like, strap the kid in a pupus. Is that what they're called? So. And, like, let's get on a plane. Heard that word. Yeah. I think a pupusa is right. Is it? And go on a plane and just fly out to LA. You know what I mean? I'd like to think that there there is hope that we could be. If I'm living in a world of reality, I'm never getting I'm not even walking out my front door once we have a kid. See me? Never. Everyone. The only way I'll see you is if you physically come to meh. I don't know, though. I mean, listen. My parents were out and about with me, bopping and beeping me around the city. You never know. Yeah. No. That's another bridge that we shouldn't worry about until we we we walk up to it. Election day and the future of us being separated by our children. Yeah. 100%. Kids will do that. But speaking of kids, Hartford Okay. You know, a cornerstone heart, Taylor of our friendship is our mutual I wouldn't say hatred, but our mutual disdain for Carrie Bradshaw. Yeah. And, love hate relationship. Love hate? Sex and the City, one of the best shows to ever be created. Carrie Bradshaw, one of the best characters to ever be written, but she's horrible. Like I think for us, we both loved forever. Forever. And we used to I when I in high school, I was the girl who was like, I'm a Carrie. Yep. Not surprising. Yet. For sure. Okay. I always took the Charlotte also. Not not surprising. That's okay. But as out of my heart, I wanted to be Carrie. Do you know what I mean? Like Yeah. We worshiped at the false idol that is Carrie Bradshaw, and I think we both have the our our awakening, our epiphany of how awful she actually was was simultaneous. And so we are bonded forever through that. Yeah. I think that, you know, one of the ways you know you have hashtag grown is when you come to the real realization that Carrie Bradshaw is kind of the worst person. Like, that's just a part of of growing up. Yes. You know? It's like, there are all these things that, like, you you know? It's like growing up, becoming you know, realizing you need a good credit score. Yes. Realizing you need a good credit score. You know, it's it's like getting your license renewed at a time before it expires. Like, these things and also it's like realizing that Carrie Bradshaw sucks. It's just a part of life. Think sjp realizes that Carrie sucks? You think she's gonna be a blind defender for always and forever? I wonder this almost daily. Like, crosses my mind. Roman Roman empire one of my Roman empires where I'm just like, does she know? Like, does she know and does she agree? Because she's Sarah Jessica Parker is not Carrie Bradshaw. So it's like, does she does she agree? Like which is fine. You know? It's okay that Carrie Bradshaw sucks. It Right. Makes the show great. Like, it's just whatever. But because we have such strong feelings for Carrie Bradshaw, it bleeds into strong feelings for Sarah Jessica Parker. And It does. We're we're We can't separate it. We can't separate it, and we're a little hard on her. We are. Carrie. We're hard on her. Even though, like, I love Sarah Jessica Parker. Me too. If I saw her, I'd die. Like, I would never be like, holy f**k. You're amazing. Everything about you is amazing. Why am I so hard on you? Like And and and I would feel such immediate guilt for all the bad things I say. Yet I I still can't stop saying the bad things. But it's not about her. It's just about Carrie. And, unfortunately, they they're we can't separate. You know? But I I love Sarah Jessica Parker. You know, you're always hardest on the ones that are that you love the most. It's true. You know? Higher expectations. Yes. And with that came Hocus Pocus 2. Yes. It did. Hocus Pocus 1. SJP was a vibe. She was a vibe. The vibe. She was integral. She was so f**king important to that to everything she did, perfect. Hocus Pocus 2 was a near perfect film, IMO Mhmm. Except only for Sarah Jessica Parker. Couldn't agree more. Almost ruined the entire thing for me. Took me completely out of the movie with the most horrible acting on planet Earth. It's it was offensive to me. Like, it and it felt personal. Like, Sarah Jessica Parker was just like, f**k you guys. I don't care. Like, I think it was you that said this. You said that she it felt I think this was you. That it's it felt like she got the script the day before and, like, didn't really read it and then was just in the scenes like, f**k. What's my line? Yes. No. Like, literally, if you look at her because some of the times when we were watching this movie and which will I will get into why this has to do with Hartford. I will just look at her. You know? Like, I pick a different character every time, and I will just look at her. She's not there. She's looking off. She's she's thinking other things. She's not committed. And, also, to be fair, though, she had said it was either in an interview or in that, like, documentary she did about and just like that where she finished filming and just like that and literally had to hop on a plane and go film Hocus Pocus 2, like, in a matter of 24 hours. But in the same breath, she said, also, I've never seen Hocus Pocus 1, and I had to watch it for the first time right before filming, which I'm sorry. You have children and you never gave them the wondrous Halloween joy of showing them Hocus Pocus? Like, you kept that from them? Like, you've abused Excuse me? Parent. Abused it's getting abused for years. Wait. The thing though is I think that that was the I think that that ended up being the thing that ruined it all. I think her watching herself in Hocus Pocus 1 made her, like, overthink it. And I don't know exactly what she was overthinking, but I think maybe the secret sauce to SJP's skill is that she's never watched herself in anything, and then she went and did it. And now I think she ruined herself. I think it's because she hasn't been watching it religiously for the past 25 years. I'm sorry. I I I but, like, it was the worst role she's ever done in her career. She she had to go back and watch it to kind of remember, okay. What was this character? This was 25 year over 25 years ago. Now almost 30 years ago. Okay? Like, 30 oh my god. Almost 30 years ago. So you have to go back and watch it to be like, what was this character? Like, what was I doing? What what are the mannerisms? You have to go back and see. You can't just make up what the mannerisms are gonna be. But the mannerisms were sexy and stupid, and then she just became like a f**king fool, like a literal tool version of of the first one. Right. Correct. Sorry, s j p. I know we do love you. We love you, but we're hard we're hard on you because we love you. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This month is all about gratitude. Honestly, it's the season of gratitude. That's why I love this season so much. And we most of us have many people to be thankful for, but there's another person we don't get to thank enough, and that is ourselves. Okay? It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, that isn't easy. I struggle with this on my own all the time. And coming from a perspective where I have been on and off therapy, I always feel my best when I am doing therapy. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's like whether or not you feel like you're going through something or whether you're you feel like, oh, I'm great. I'm great right now. Therapy helps with everything. And it's helpful to learn positive coping skills, how to set boundaries, which I've become really good at. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. Or if it's, you know, just for those who've experienced major trauma or minor trauma and need to need to cope with it. So BetterHelp is here to help you. It's entirely online, and it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. So let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/stassy today to get 10% off your 1st month. That's betterhelphelp.com/stassy. Moms, dads of of babies, or friends of moms and dads of new babies, this is for you. Let's talk about baby sleeping through the night because a lot of them don't. But there's something that can help and that is the dreamland weighted baby sleep sack. I will never forget. When Hartford turned 6 months, it was like, okay. She doesn't need to be swaddled anymore. And then when Messer finally turned 6 months, I'm like, yes. The swaddling phase is over. Enter the weighted sleep sack. It is genius. Okay? Absolutely genius because the baby feels like it's tucked in, but it's not. You don't have to swaddle. It's an actual sack for your baby, and it provides deeper sleep. There's this cover come technology, so it's evenly distributed weight from shoulders to toes that is exclusive to Dreamland baby products. And they are so soft. They're made with the highest quality materials, and they hold up so well wash after wash. And my favorite part of it is that it's so easy to use because they have the two way zipper. So if you have to do a diaper change in the middle of the night, you don't have to take the whole sleep sack off. You can just zip from the bottom, easy diaper change, put the baby back in the crib, and voila. So if you feel like your baby isn't sleeping well through the night, I very much recommend the dreamland weighted baby sleep sack. And that's a great gift to give your friends who have new babies too. And happy early Black Friday. So go to dreamlandbabyco.com and use my code Stassi for the buy 1, get 1 free deal from my favorite baby brand, Dreamland Baby. My code Stasse will work site wide on both non weighted and weighted products, pj's and more, as long as they are of equal or lesser value. So feel free to mix and match, but note this is final sale. Use my code Stassi at checkout. This is a great way to stock up on Dreamland baby products or to give us gifts. So Taylor and I could whenever we're together. Yeah. This always comes up in conversation. It's Every time. We can't not talk about what Sarah Jessica Parker did to Hocus Pocus 2. Like, it's Yeah. It's it doesn't matter what time of year. It could be f**king April. Okay? And we still will find a way to bring the conversation back to Sarah Jessica Parker and Hocus Pocus 2, which leads me to this. I'm on the phone with I'm FaceTiming with you guys, and you asked Hartford what she's gonna be for Halloween. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, funny story because a month ago, when I ordered her Halloween costume, she said she wanted to be Darth Vader princess. So I'm like, okay. I'm gonna order this ahead of time. I'm on top of my s**t. Then a week later, she comes home and I I and says, oh, I'm gonna be hocus pocus following. I'm like, excuse me? Because she's just got into a hocus pocus phase where she, like she's like, f**k Disney movies. f**k princesses. f**k anything else I've ever seen before. I just wanna watch Hocus Pocus 1 and 2, like, whenever she's allowed to have TV time, whenever she's allowed to have the TV on, which I love. I love both those movies. So Fine by Me. Okay. That's right. That's okay. But I'm like, I Hartford, I already ordered you a Halloween costume. You're gonna be Darth Vader princess. And she's like, no. I'm gonna be the purple one, hocus pocus. And I'm like, s**t. Like, what do I do? Because this was weeks ago. Because I'm like, I don't wanna teach her that, like, she can just change her mind, and then I'll get her whatever she wants. But at the same time, I don't think she understands that I got on my phone and ordered something and bought it for her. Right. And she hasn't seen the Darth Vader princess costume in person yet. So this doesn't feel like I'm spoiling her. It feels like, oh, maybe I I bought a I I bought I bought a Hocus Pocus costume. Okay? Because she started telling everyone. Everyone. And so then it got to the point where I'm like, well, what's even her name? Like, what's her name? Now she knows. She goes, Sarah. You know? It's Sarah, which I actually didn't realize that Sarah played Sarah. Her name is Sara in the movie? Like, who would have thought? No. I didn't know. For real? Or is she sub is she calling her by her government name? Sarah Jessica Parker? No. Her name's Sara in the movie. Shut the f**k up. Yeah. That's Did you ever know that? No. I didn't know that. No. It's Winifred, Sarah, and what? Oh, exactly. I don't know. It begins with an n. It's it's something with an n and then a y. Yeah. It's something it's like you're thinking of her her her last name, Najimi. Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Last name Najimi? Anyway, I think it's wild to the point what is it? Mary. Mary. Who knew? Who knew? Who knew? But she is so obsessed with Hocus Pocus and Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus 1 and 2. She she thinks Sarah Jessica Park SJP did a great job in Hocus Pocus 2. But she's so obsessed that not only do we have to listen to the soundtrack all day and night and in the car, wherever we go, whenever we can. Like but I've been asking her, what do you wanna do for your birthday party this year? What do you want the theme to be? No. This is in January. January. Hocus f**king pocus. But not just hocus pocus. Hocus post hocus pocus SJP. SJP. Oh. So that's what so she's gonna be she's going to school as SJP, the bane of our existence. The bane of our Adam. You know what? Children will really humble you. That they like, can you believe when I told you that knowing. Without even knowing how we felt, like, a betrayal. It did. It did. It did. No. It does. It does. It's like, you don't even understand, Hartford. You're not even old enough to understand that that me and aunt Tay talk about this all the time. Like, how did you how did this happen? How What's happened? She's gonna wanna be Sarah Jessica Parker, and in Just Like That, What else do we talk about all the time? She's gonna wanna go hang out with Kate Baldinelli in New York City? That's who it was at next, Hartford. Seriously. Where does it end? She wants to go hang out with Kate Bosworth? Where does it end? Hartford? Not Kate Bosworth. I'll never let it go. I know. I'll never even after I learned my lesson this summer I know. I'll never let it go. It's what makes you, you. But I think we need to, you know, the next time you're in town, have a talk with Hartford about a little thing called loyalty. Loyalty. Oh, I don't think And how family comes first. Yes. Yes. And an enemy of my enemy is your enemy. Yeah. Like, I we need to spell it out for her. We need to teach her that that very important lesson. I said it wrong. An enemy of my enemy My enemy. No. Is a friend of mine. An no. An enemy? Yeah. Of my enemy? I don't think that's a friend of mine. But I don't think that's how the saying goes. I think it's like I f**ked it up. Yeah. I think it's like, an enemy of mine or f**k. I don't know. If I don't like somebody new to you, would you? So f**k the phrases. Yeah. That's how it goes. That's what it is. So there's that. She's a traitor. Are you dressing up for Halloween? I mean, I know this is coming out a week after Halloween, but, like, f**k it. Are you dressing up? I just don't have it in me to get it up for Halloween this year. You know? No. I I feel like I do this every year, though. Oh, no. Like, I don't. I I go hard every year, but this year, I feel yeah. No. I half assed everything. I half assed my Halloween decorations. I half assed our family costume that I don't even know how Hartford's gonna be willing to switch into because she's so obsessed with being Sarah Jessica Parker that I just it's gonna end up being costume of me, Bo, and Messer matching, and then Sarah Jessica Parker. Hocus Pocus Pocus Pocus Pocus Pocus Pocus. I love that we just we're not even saying she's Sarah from Hocus Pocus. We're like, is she Sarah Jessica Parker? I'm in the second one. In the second one. Really? Well, luckily for you, by the time this airs, you'll already have Christmas decorations. Okay. I wanna talk about that actually because well, first of all, I have just been waiting for November 1st because not only do we have to watch Hocus Pocus and listen to it all the time, but Messer is so obsessed with listening to the Halloween playlist on Alexa. Uh-huh. Okay? Yeah. You know? And, I can't I can't take it anymore. And I think because I didn't go a 100% this Halloween, I'm disgusted with myself and I just want it to be Christmas so I can commit Right. Fully to the decor, to the vibe, to the aesthetic, to the thing. Yes. And and that's why I want Halloween to be over because I'm just like, I didn't do it right, and so I'm frustrated. You know? So No. I get no. Every time you you're, like, Halloween ed, you just feel like a fit a failure. I feel like a failure. Like, I yeah. And I just don't like feeling like that. Wait. What's on the Halloween playlist on Alexa, so we say, Alexa, play a Halloween playlist, and it goes Halloween party. And it starts with Ghostbusters. Oh. Then it goes into spooky scary skeleton, which is like it's like Coachella version or something. It's it's it's disgusting. It's f**king crazy. Then it goes into thriller. Right. Like no. It's, like, a good playlist. There's, like, Lady Gaga, Bloody Mary or whatever in there. There's a it's a good playlist, but I've listened to it so many times because it's all my family wants to listen to that I need the Christmas music. And I keep warning them. I keep saying in I keep counting down. You know? In 11 days, in 7 days, in this many days, like, you're not listening to this anymore. It's nothing but Christmas tunes, motherf**kers. Can't freaking wait. Bring it on, baby. So November 1st, the Halloween decorations are going down. The Christmas decorations will slowly start to come up. I've ordered everything ahead of time. I've made my vision board. I know what I wanna do. This is the thing. You and Teddy wait until, like, December 15th to get a Christmas tree and decorate. Listen, Linda. Listen. That's a little that's a little you're that's a little much. K. I I'd say here's the thing. We don't have a fake Christmas tree. We have a real one, and that's not me trying to that that's not me trying to make you feel bad. Okay? That's not me posturing. It doesn't because it's way messier to clean up. I I am over here wanting a fake Christmas tree. Okay? Because I would like to get it up ASAP. I'm with you, girl. Okay. This b***h, this fort building b***h, she is, like, real tree or bust. So we have to we the you can only get a real tree around here. It's like the day after Thanksgiving is the earliest that you can get it. I'm gonna be real with you. I have been using the same brand of sheets for the last probably 8 years of my life. Yes. I'm talking about Boll and Branch. I have a million sets, in different colors. And I'm just never looking back because they are the absolute most comfortable and they just get softer and softer with every single wash. I take my bedroom seriously. Okay? I take my bed seriously. I want to feel like when I am getting in bed at night that I'm like getting into a hotel bed, a luxurious hotel bed. And that is what Boll and Branch has been doing for me for years years years. My favorite are just their signature sheets and they're made with the finest 100% organic cotton and, like I said, get softer with every single wash. They just feel luxurious. They feel comforting. They're breathable. Like, I'm one of those people that sweats in the middle of the night so I need my sheets to feel cool and they do just that. So if you feel like your bed needs an upgrade, if you feel like just something's off, you need to feel more comfortable when you're sleeping, highly recommend going to Boll and Branch. So gift you and your loved ones a better night sleep with Boll and Branch. And right now is their best offer of the entire year. For 25% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets, head to bollandbranch.com/stasse. That's bollandbranch, b o l l a n d, branch.com/ Stasse for 25% off. Limited time only. Exclusions apply. See site for details. Show me a person who doesn't like the sparkle of a diamond. That person does not exist. And I am just so happy that we live in a time where lab grown diamonds exist. So let's talk about Lightbox because it is a fashion forward, lab grown diamond brand that champions creativity and innovation. So it's high quality lab grown diamonds that are hand finished and set into seasonal collections and classics with character. Lightbox's carefully curated collections include essential pieces like tennis necklaces and huggy hoops that showcase the versatility of their exceptional stones. I mean, we all deserve diamonds. Okay? And now we can get them lab grown. You can get just as much sparkle. Okay? And these are grown to be gifted. Light boxes prices mean you can gift the sparkle of a lab grown diamond to more people on your holiday list. Who doesn't wanna unwrap sparkle this holiday? Okay. Lightbox has great gifting options from lab grown diamond studs to loose lab grown diamonds in different shapes and sizes that you can then set into your own custom piece. And they also have free shipping and free returns, which is absolutely major because you wanna have pieces that you absolutely love, that you love and you wanna wear every single day. So because lab grown diamonds are not rare, their price point is more accessible. Literally, prices start at just $500 a carat. So you try out a style you might not have considered before, like a tennis bracelet or create a custom piece using loose lab grown diamonds. So discover Lightbox Jewelry's lab grown diamonds for yourself on lightboxjewelry.com. Plus, all new customers will get 10% off their first order on lightboxjewelry.com using the code stassi10. That's lightboxjewelry.com with code stassi10. Okay. That's crazy. That is you know how I wanna start a world government. Right? This is our theme for today. Remind me. You know how I for you. Yeah. You know, like, I just don't because of remember, this all came about because of Epstein and the unsealed you know, they couldn't unsee they already unsealed the list or whatever in the UK and, like, prince Andrew or whatever. So, like, they couldn't reseal the documents and open them up in another country, which I'm like, that feels wrong. We need a world government to to come up ahead and say, sorry. Just because you unsealed the documents in this country doesn't mean you can't put a f**king seal on them again and unseal the like, put them on the FedEx plane over to whatever so we can unseal them over here and use them so that justice is served. Crazy logic is that? Exactly. So we need a world government to override Yeah. The each other government. You know? Governing country. Yes. You know? Yes. And there are things I'd like to do in this government, but one of the things I would like to do now hearing this that you can't get a real tree until after Thanksgiving is that real Christmas trees Thank you. Those little pop up places where you go and get them, that needs to happen November 1st. It's the law. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate. I I really yes. I I support. Lowe says they'll die. I said she'll die. They will. They will die. So dry and they'll start house fires. They will do all the postings. That's why. Everything Lowe said is absolutely accurate. Okay. So they'll die and start house fires. Okay. It sucks. Then how do you but you keep your Christmas tree up until, like, February, and it's a it's a real tree. So because we are trash people, and it's so hard to get rid of a Christmas tree. Do you I would tell you story when you're where we were so sick of the Christmas tree, we didn't know how to get it out, and it was so dry. You, like, couldn't remove it. And Tay was like, open the window. I'm gonna push it out the window onto the street. And I was like, what if you hit somebody? And she was like, like, not that far down. I was like, she was so dead ass, Dossie. I was like, you will spend the rest of your life in prison. 1 of the world government over here, and I would be like, yeah, you have to go to prison. Can't be throwing real Christmas trees out your window? No. That's, like, kind of bats**t crazy. I don't think anyone knows how crazy she is. And they'll be like, you can't you can't throw the world will see. You can't if you know, you know. Most people don't, but they will. You can't throw anything out your window. Literally. No s**t. Much like you can't throw a feather out your window, much less a Christmas tree. I'm sorry. Like, that is insane and diabolical. She was so, like, not f**king joking when she said it. I was so deeply pissed at her because I was like, first of all, I will end up getting blamed because I I give throw tree out the window energy, and she'll be in the corner like, why'd she do that? You know? You do. I know. So do I. I know. It's okay. No. It would be it would be Bo and Teddy who who pushed the Christmas trees out the window, and no matter what, we'd go to prison. 1,000,000,000 percent. You and me would go to prison because because you'd be like, obviously, it was Stasi or Taylor Strecker. It was there's no way it was cellmates. Yep. We'll be cellmates. We'll f**king rule this school, girl. Real talk. When you go to prison, if you have a friend there, are you able to switch a rooney and, like, bunk together? So I'm not sure. I feel like all I know is from what I saw in the Menendez Brother, Ryan Murphy show. Okay. But they were together. They were next to each other's cells, but then they devised a plan to escape prison. That was very silly. But regardless, they said they have to be separated. And then when they sent them to, like, prison prison, like, after they were convicted, they sent them to, like, literally different states. I cried. Sad. No. That's Horrible. Okay. So I haven't seen it. So just, like, I can't I don't it's just, like, not my it's not my feel like yeah. It's very, very, very disturbing. Talk about a trigger warning. Yes. No. No. Thank you. But if you could choose who you get to bunk with in prison Oh, we have the best time ever. We actually would. Totally. I mean, would you think you're forced to be a hermit? Not me. Getting all the well, I guess we don't get alone time if we're bunking together, but you know how to just, like, leave you alone. Pillowcase over my head. Just you wouldn't need to do that. You just, like, just don't have a Rub myself. A while. Gladly. Do you think that we would be the type to try and come up with a plan to escape, or do you think we would be the type to make it our new home? Make it our new home. Like We could build a fort. Decorate. Yeah. Build a fort. Get an arrow bed in there, like, from commissary. What do you think we would talk about all day long without no influence from the outside world? Like, there's like a parker. Just years years years upstairs. Like a parker. No. I can't. That's Yes. Accurate. It's accurate. Yep. Oh my gosh. If I knew that I would go to prison with you, I could take it if I didn't have kids. Me too. Me too. Me too. But, back to the Christmas tree situation. I'm sorry that okay. Now I understand your plight a little bit more that you can't get one after Thanksgiving. I think it's wrong, but it is what it is. I did, however, read. No. Okay. Saw TikTok, but it seemed That's the same thing. It seemed very scientific. It seemed based off data. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Everything you see on TikTok is literal fact. Collected data. Base important life decisions off 15 second videos you see on TikTok. Saying there was, like you know, they put on one of those songs that make it sound scientific. And so I'm like, this must be completely factual, researched. You know? It said that people who decorate for the holidays earlier are actually happier people in life. No way. But, like, that had to be studied groups. Could you imagine if you sign up for a study group and they're just studying, like, when you put up, like, your Christmas decorations, your holiday decorations, and then they're monitoring your overall happiness for a few years? And they're like, well, you're one of the happy ones because I mean, like, think about it. You can't actually that study oh my god. It's definitely not true because there are so many other reasons why Well, wait. Wait. I'm sorry. There are other go. Environmental factors that can that contribute to why someone is or is not happy. So, like, you can't isolate just that one thing putting up, like, holiday decorations early and then make the that assumption that No. I'm gonna cosign this because here's the thing. So because this is something I've been very bad at my whole life, Okay. Is I'm very I'm very bad at celebrating myself, like, in terms of, like, what's your stuff? What? You're bad at celebrating yourself? Yes. Like, I never make a big deal out of anything. You take your you take your birthday seriously. You're like, what trip are we gonna plan today? No. No. Teddy, we can't do that. It's my birthday on that day. Oh, really? Oh, really? You're gonna bring that fight up? I never said that I wasn't. I never said that I didn't. I never said that I didn't. I just said you don't celebrate your work wins. Fine. That's what I meant. You don't celebrate let's take your birthday out of it. Okay. Fine. Please take my birthday out of it because the thing of my birthday is I'm just like, it's my birthday and I can. Like, I'm just having a tantrum on my birthday. That's not celebration. That's an adult tantrum. Okay. Fair. Fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Okay. So I don't celebrate, like, work wins. And Tay is now because she's, like, working with me full time is, like, making me celebrate my work wins, and I feel so much happier in life. Okay? So celebrating in general is a good thing. It breeds other happy thoughts and more success in life and work in general. So if you were celebrating the celebrations and you were stretching out those celebrations, you are, like, you are you're in the celebration, so therefore, you're happier. But then also, like, allowing yourself to be celebrating when not everybody is celebrating is a good sign of self confidence. Oh, okay. I didn't realize we're gonna go to self confidence, but I'm here for it. I think that that is all completely accurate, and you could even say that, like, even the choice to which you always do, Sames, but you even take this more seriously, to drink your wine or Prosecco out of the proper glass, boom, it feels celebratory. Thank you. Feels more fun. Yes. It feels like you're letting yourself enjoy life a little more Thank you. Instead of just, like, having a regular old gla*s. You guys have 2 glasses in your house that I'm obsessed with. Oh, okay. It was like I have multiple. You have got 2 wine glasses that are my favorite. That are in the highest show. All the way up. Yeah. Mhmm. And, every time. Oh, I I I I, exert self control. But when we open that Lambrusco, baby. Okay? Shout out to Abilene Lambrusco. They don't ship it to New Jersey. It's, like, like, literally ruins my entire life. Okay? No. I know. So I've you ordered me, like, 6 more bottles after you left because Tell them why. Tell them why. You are a f**king monster. This girl, one of the the last night she was here first of all, I'm happy to share to give you all the Limbrous go. You're very generous with your Limbrosco. Generous with it. That for the record. Yes. I know you love it. I don't like when people they're like, I'll have a glass if they don't love it. It's like, no. No. You're not you don't get to have some of this unless you're just as obsessed as I am with it. Totally. I won't share a 100% of it with you because I know you love it just as much as I do. Correct. This b***h, on the last day that she was staying here, feels like alcohol I literally had an alcohol poisoning. I dragged myself into oblivion. I couldn't I couldn't do it. I I tried. First of all, I thought we had ran out, and she was like, I found 1. I found 1 in your house. Do you think I could open it? Would you mind? And I was, like, oh, no. Of course. Open it. Yeah. Yep. I didn't have any. So she she poured herself a gla*s. 1. You you guys leave one gla*s. You leave town the next day and then I'm like, oh. Like, dinner rolls around, and I'm like, oh, Taylor opened that Lambrusco. I get to have some Lambrusco wine with dinner. I open my refrigerator. Full bottle. Unf**king corked. Which means if anybody doesn't get a little bit sparkling red wine. A nice sparkling red wine. So for 24 hours, this sat turning into a flat diet Coke. You know what I mean? And I was like, this this can't be right. And I'm like, I'm not even gonna be nice to her right now. Oh, you were. Just gonna text her because she needs to know what she's done wrong. Like I will read it to everybody right now. I have it right in front of me. So it's a picture of the Abilene, okay, of of the Lambrusco. And Stassi says, I'm going to skin you alive for pouring one glass of this and not putting a cork in it. And I it didn't I literally She was on the airplane when I sent it because I kept checking to see if it was delivered because I'm like, this b***h isn't responding. She's not responding. She needs to know what she's done is so absolutely wrong. And I, like, landed, and I'm like, oh my oh, f**k. Because here's the thing. I hope your blood ran cold. It did. The the way I will I will throw Taylor Donahue out the window with her Christmas tree when this b***h doesn't cork s**t. Now in my defense, y'all have one cork. 2. We just We just In the Oh, you just got 1? No. Not not we just got 1. We've always had 2. We've always had 2. Here, I thought it was 1. I also did there's also a trick, though, that we use it in the Spousey household. And the sticky spoon. Yes. If we happen to have multiple bottles open for some reason and Yes. The 2 corks are being used, you stick a spoon in it, and that helps to keep the fizz. I know better. No. I deserved it. I know better. I had a brain fart. I had alcohol poisoning self induced, and I I forgot. And I would be mad at me too because when Tay forgets to cork the red wine or the or the Prosecco, I'm like, what is f**king wrong with you? You think money you think wine just grows on trees? I get so mad at her. Yeah. No. It it was infuriating, especially because it was the last one, and I got so excited. You know how, like, when you build yourself like, you're like Yes. You realize something, you're like, oh, there's an open bottle of Lambrusco in my refrigerator. Okay. And I wait, and I'm like, I'm so excited to have that for dinner. And I open up the refrigerator, and it's flat. And it was it hurt so much. Oh, I know. But No. I don't. I I had empathy. Yeah. But I said I'll skin myself for you. Yeah. I knew. You sent me 6 bottles I did. Which I just finally finished last night. Oh, girl. And so I quickly I went to Aveline's website, and I was like, 6 more. Like a psychopath, 6 more. It is the best. Why were we talking about that? Glasses. Oh, yes. The celebratory glasses. So I always wanna use those glasses, and I can see in Beau's eyes. He's like, this b***h. Yeah. And he's f**king because they're hard to clean. They're not they don't go in the dishwasher. Like, I get it. No. It's okay. We have them for a reason. For me. You know? For me. For you and me when we're together because there's only 2 of them. Glasses. But it makes it it makes life feel a little more fun, and this is why I don't like stemless wine glasses. I hate that. They they look cute. Like so, like, if most people love stemless wine glass, I get it. They don't break easily, whatever. They're easier to handle, but they don't feel celebratory. It doesn't feel, like, as fun. Like, there's just no feeling like a stem. Your wine deserves more. I agree. You're ruining your wine self esteem by putting it in a stemless f**king gla*s. Those are for children. For children. Be an adult and get a f**king stem. Real talk though, speaking of children and stemless glasses. Uh-oh. I'm so annoyed with Beau because I realized, Hartford only associates wine with me. So she sees wine and she's like, mommy's. Mommy loves it. But if, like, if she had to fill out one of those questionnaires at school, like, what does your mommy love? She'd write wine. She doesn't realize that Bo and I drink our wine together because Bo has those Italian jars that he drinks out of. Yes. So not me looking like the alcoholic parent where it's like, mommy loves wine. So does papa. Yes. So does papa. It's unfair. So forever and ever, until she's able to understand, she just says she sees at a restaurant a glass of wine, mommy. She doesn't say papa, doesn't say daddy, doesn't say Beau. She says mommy. I'm like, that is so unfair, and that's just because I like to celebrate my wine with a stem. Yeah. Because you you're you're getting punished. No good deed goes unpunished. No. Yeah. No. Damn. Oh, man. My kids are just gonna obliterate me, aren't they? Yes. They are. It's it's crazy just how much how much truth that they tell. You know? Wait. I have a question for you. So I was just watching a housewife episode, which I know you don't watch. But do you but you know who Heather Dubrow is, obviously. Yes. Because I did watch Orange County back in the day. Back in the day. Yeah. So there's a new housewife on, and she, like, kinda came in being, like, Heather Dubrow calls the paparazzi to get pictures taken, which is, like, a a storyline from last season that Heather was very mad about, and she denied it. And Heather even swore on her children that she never called the paparazzi on television swore on her children. Woah. Okay. Whatever. Bye. I have strong feelings about people who swear on children. It's a certain it's a certain cast member on Vanderpump Rules did that, and I will just, like, never forget it. It's kind of Yep. It's kind of it's the same energy as being willing to throw your Christmas tree out the window to hit a random person. Oh, Taylor County is totally going to swear in our children's lives with her fingers crossed behind her back. Totally. She's already doing it now. I make her swear swear in her embryos, which is so psycho of me. So really psycho. Okay. Okay. So anyway, so there's that whole thing. So this new cast member and Heather do not get along. So this new cast member has a 19 year old daughter who babysat another castmate's 8 year old twin sons. Okay? Okay. And this 19 year old daughter is all like, well, everybody knows Heather's mean. I mean, I even asked Emily's kids when I was babysitting them about, like, tell me about all that, you know, about all the mommy's friends. And which one did you like? And they said that they did not like Heather Anyway, so Heather is really upset and, like, crying. I actually felt bad for her because, like god. And so but then everybody else, even Emily is like, Mike, we do first of all, if I did talk s**t about you, it would never be in front of my kids. 2nd of all, like, I I did not say that. I did not say that in front of the kids. So, basically, my kids told me that this 19 year old, she asked them, like, isn't Heather me to your mommy? So now it's like, did the 19 year old lie? Are the 8 year old lying? What's the big did the 19 year old lead the kids into that? Because the way that you ask the question influences what if I were to ask Hartford, like, like, if someone were to ask Hartford, what's your mom what's your mommy like, she wouldn't lead with mean. But if someone were to say, does your mommy mean to you? She might, like, look at you and be like, oh, yes. Exactly. Start thinking of something where she thinks I'm being mean. Like, I've because I told her no for something. And so They're suggestible. Exactly. So so Heather said but she was upset and she said, well, let's get real. Kids repeat what their parents say at home. Like, that's just the truth. And so, like, they're trying to say, Heather, like, that's it's not how it happened. But Heather's like, well but I'll be but you said something in front of the kids. Like, I don't know. I mean, what do you say? The babysitter or the babysitter. Babysitter is also so cool. Right? It's like, oh, this cool older person who's not my parents. Yeah. Yes. But also it could it could have been the parents talking in front of their kids too. Yeah. Right? God, kids are such a tell. I'm so f**ked when I have kids. They're gonna tell all my f**king business. No. You literally have to be so careful, like, so careful what you say. Hartford picks up on everything. It's wild. You got it. Like, you got to talk in code. You have to talk in code. You know, actually, one of my friends, I was over her house and her daughter was like, we had had ups and downs over the years. And when we finally, like, started, like, on the men and hanging out with her and her husband and their kids, the daughter was like a little I could, like, tell, like, she had, like, feelings about me because I but I was okay with it because I was like, listen, Your mommy and I have not been in a good place for a while. Like, obviously, she thinks nothing's about me. But as time went on, like, she would like she warmed up to me, whatever. But it was like, I don't know. Not recently, but not that long ago. And she said something like, oh, you're the one that mom always talks about. And I was like, honestly, touche. I deserve it, but, like, also f**king busted. Wow. You really can't talk in front of your kids. Yo. Yeah. I'm trying to think of, like, any moments that where it's like, I I I think I make it a point not to say anything in front of Hartford because if she'll you guys are good. You guys are no. I I talk about stuff in front of the kids. I've I'm I'm, like, thinking even back to last trip. Well, we don't talk s**t in front of the kids. Yes. Let's finish that sentence. Yeah. Right. Right. We don't talk s**t in front of the kids. Like, that's Right. The thing. Well, but then you have me with my big a*s mouth, and I talk s**t wherever I feel like it. So I have to start being more conscious because so even in front of my nephews over the weekend, I was with them. And I said to my sister-in-law, Ashley, I was like, Ashley, you wanna know who's up my f**king butt like that? Oh, God. And the kids were like, up your butt. And they're 108 and, like, 6. And I'm like, oh, no. And they were like, up the butt. Like, these little boys. I was like, you can't say that in school. And then they're like, what does that mean? And I was like, it means somebody's obsessed with me in an annoying way. And then they were like this, mommy's up daddy's butt. And then one of them was like, I'm up daddy's butt because it's like obsessed. Who are you obsessed with? And then they were like they were like, this was obsessed with this with up and Teddy's butt. It was the funniest, but I was like, oh, no. And I was like, don't tell daddy said that. The second dad got home, dad, you're up mommy's butt. I was like, oh my god. Wait. Lessons learned. Oh my god. That's so no. I'm dealing with Hartford repeating stories right now. I know I already told this story on The Good About the Baby, but, like, different audience. Whatever. Hartford, I've been letting her come and cuddle with me in bed. Like, we'll do, like, my face routine. Like, we'll do my or my skincare. I'll wash my face. Then we'll get in bed, and she'll watch, like, a little bit of a period piece show with me. Wait. And I had my f**king limbers go with this stem, neck on my nightstand. I'm like, I get all like, I'm like, okay, Herbert. Oh, no. Get tucked in. I know how that goes. Whatever. I have my blanket over, like, on the side of my bed, like my Barefoot Dreams really soft one that I don't let anybody else touch because I want it to remain soft. So I literally fold it up immediately after usage and, like, put it over the side of my bed so no one else touches it. And so we get all tucked in, I'm like, Alexa, turn off light 1. Alexa, turn off light 2. All, like, you know, it's the candle is lit. It's a vibe. And I go to grab my blanket, and the wine glass goes flying, shatters. Red, sparkly limbers go everywhere. Hartford starts crying saying, I'm so sad. I'm so sad. Why did that happen? She can't stop staring at it. Like, it's I could it looked like I fully traumatized her. I don't know if it's because it, like, looked like blood or because I'm like, you can't step foot on the ground. Like, you cannot. And so the whole thing, she was so scared for the remainder of the night, and I'm like, Hartford, like, I'm like in my brain, like, she's she already thinks that I'm the only wine drinker in this house. Now she's gonna go to school and talk about how mommy breaks her wine glasses and that she was so sad. And so I'm like, Hartford in bed. And I'm like, Hartford, it was the blanket. Harvard, it was the blanket. And she goes, what? And I'm like, it's the the blanket. She goes, who did this? I'm like, the blanket. I'll never forget. The blanket. Beau comes to help me, and he's like, what happened? And I'm like, Hartford, what happened? And she's like, the I'm like, the blanket. The blanket did it, Hartford. So I think I've, like, got it handled and I think I've, like, drilled it in her head enough, which, honestly, it was the f**king blanket. I was just It's not funny. I was careless with the blanket. The next day, my mom comes over to the house and, she sees us pour wine and all of a or we went downstairs and we had our wine and she stops dead in her tracks No. Stares at us, and, like, you could just, like, see her wheels turning. Like, she was just like, I remember what happened. And she looks at she's like, grandma, the glass broke and had to tell her this story. And then I'm like, she definitely told her teachers. She definitely told her friends. She just told my mom, my which, like, I don't care, like, my mom, whatever, but that that was just confirmation that she's telling everyone who will listen. And so now whenever I have my wine glass with the stem in front of her, she looks at me and she goes, mommy, don't break it. Mommy, don't break it. They never forget. They're like little encyclopedias of all of your mistakes. It's so irritating. So, like, I can't ever do that again. Like, I can't ever Oh my god. I can't if I if I if if I accidentally have a wine glass break again, that that will become, like, just, like, in her brain, a part of who I am. My mom, she just walks around breaking wine glasses in her bedroom. It's such a bad without contact. It's it's bad luck. So bad. Wire hangers. It's like it's 8 o'clock in the morning. You got your martini, and you're just f**king breaking glasses all over the place. Literally. No. I'm so good. I'm concerned for myself. I'm gonna have no mom friends. Good f**ker. I love you. That's how I want it. Yes. How I wanted it. Well, hey. I gotta let you go. No. I know. I felt like we were just getting started. I know. We should just host a podcast together. Okay. It sucks that we would have to just, like, split the profits 50.50, so that means it makes what sucks. That is what sucks. If it meant less if if it wasn't about less money, I'd say, let's join our evil forces. We are gonna figure out a way to do it. So that way but we can still make the money. We have to do in a way where we we make our money separately, but then, like, we do something together where we make the money together. Right. Just like add another thing to the to do list. Right? No. It's like I just wish we could combine horses. It's just it's unfortunate. I know. Don't worry. We have a long road ahead of us. We do. We do. You guys, if you wanna go listen to Taylor on her podcast, taste of Taylor, she just did a full rebrand. Her artwork is f**king incredible. I'm so jealous of it. I love it. It is stunning. It is timeless. It is Thank you. Chic. It's giving everything that you are. Oh, thank you. And you have a daily show. If you wanna listen to Taylor every f**king day, you can. Wait. They're combined. Okay. Taste of Taylor is now the whole thing. So Taste of Taylor is now technically Monday through Friday. But, like, there are variations with, like, Patreon and stuff. So you can listen Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to a little bit of Taste of Taylor. Full episode comes out on Thursday, and then Friday is for Patreon only, but also Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday full shows also for Patreon only. You are a hardworking gal. Thank you, queen. I appreciate it. And if you wanna watch this, episode, you can go to patreon.com/stasi and watch it there or listen to it ad free. Whatevs. Yeah. Watch me blink. Watch me blink over and over. I never noticed that. I've been I'm working on it. You know what I think it is? I've I've gotten to the bottom of it. I think I have bad eye contact, which I I I know I have bad eye contact. And I think that if I can work on my eye contact, I can dissipate the blinkies. You have bad eye contact? Yeah. People have said it to you my whole life. They'll have to go like this. I'll be talking to them, like like new people, and they'll be like, what? And I'm all, what? And they're like, is something on my shirt? And I'm like, Or they'll be like, do I have something on my face? I'm like, Wait. Something weird with my hair? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like, you just keep looking over here. So I have bad eye contact. Oh, we got to work on that. Eye contact is important. You have good Taylor Donahue said you and Bo have fantastic eye contact, she said. Really? Really? She actually said that? She actually said when we got back from our last trip, and Tay was like, something I realized I have to work on is eye contact. And I was like, oh my god. I have s**tty eye contact. She said your eye contact doesn't waver ever. Like, you will always have this, like she said you have eye contact of a movie star. Okay. I thought you were gonna say serial killer, but That Oh, so sorry to insult you. No. Like, meaning because, like, when I think of, like, people with, like, crazy good eye contact, they tend to be scary. No. It's good. It's a good thing. Okay. Like, there is such a thing. There there you know, too much of a of a good thing. Like, it's Yeah. Too much eye contact is a little, you know No. It's confident, and it's connective. It's good. Thank you. I'm working on it. You're my role model. You know what? You just made my day. That just made me feel really good about myself. Well, you deserve to feel good about yourself, you blanket wine glass breaker. f**k my life. Okay. Love you. Love you. Bye. Bye.
Comments