Transcript
You know you can be anything, right? So go for it. Be an artist, be a dancer, be a scientist. Cool. What's next? Make a draft, write a song, solve a mystery. Doug, what's next? Discover your superpower, design a time machine, ask all the questions, do all the things, explore all of the places. Just don't forget to breathe. Breathing, check. What's next? Kids have exciting stuff to do, so we have exciting stuff to watch and listen. RTE Kids, what's next? I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowery and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. What the f**k is up? Are you okay? No. Good. I listened to Something in the Orange, and I just didn't think it was that good. And I it's you know, maybe it's one of those songs that you have to listen to a couple times before it grows on you, but I really didn't think it was that great. When it says when you place your head between my collar and jaw, I relate so hard. Like, so hard. And that's the best song ever, and I'm devastated. Well, he could be a better person, and he should be committing instead of trying to take down Dave's diss tracks or whatever he's trying to do, paying Brianna off. He could literally invest that same amount of money into therapies and being a better person. But moving on to something unrelated, I would love to play this little clip of Heather Lohmeier. She is a long, long time listener of Coffee Combos in all of our shows. And, I specifically didn't listen to it yet because I wanted to listen to the little clip on here on Coffee Combos. So, Kristen, if you don't mind playing this video for us. Hello, Kitty Gang. It's me, Heather, your die hard Kitty Gang member with you here today. And this holiday season and just in this season of my life, I wanted to share with you all why I am so thankful for Cale, Lindsay, Coffee Convos podcast, and all of you Kitty Gang members. For those of you who don't know me, I am just a true fan of Cale and Lindsey both and I have been following both of their journeys for many many years. So today I wanted to share with you all my journey on following them, why I love this group so much, some of my favorite moments from our time together, and how their reality shows, podcasts, and the kitty gang got me through some really tough times in my life. So I am going to be reading to you my story. So to give you a preview, the hardest few weeks of my entire life were in February of 2022 and honestly I just needed something to help get me through that time. And so here are a few of the titles of the Coffee Combos podcast cast that aired that month. Podcast number 207, no one deserves to be queefed on. Podcast number 208, vomiting, diarrhea, and almost blowing up my house. And then there was podcast number 209, Hey, Who Pooped in My Mud Room? So huge shout out to Bone because I think a quiff on command and s**t skid marks on Kayl's bench nearly saved my life. So for any new listeners out there or just to refresh our memories, why do we refer to ourselves as the kitty gang? And where did the name Fluffers even come from? Let's take a trip down memory lane. So I guess I'll start at the beginning of my journey following Cale and Lindsay. I was 20 years old when Teen Mom started airing and like most girls, it became my comfort show. So at the time the show started, my parents were actually going through a separation and divorce after 35 years of marriage. Unfortunately, my dad cheated on my mom with a coworker of his. So Teen Mom was definitely my comfort show in a very difficult time. It sounds silly, but sometimes it's easier just to get lost in somebody else's drama instead of dealing with your own. Out of all 8 of the girls, Cale was always my favorite and her 16 and Pregnant story stood out to me above the rest. But we gotta pause here for a minute because what was really in Roadkill Ray's locked freezer? Do we really think it was $200 worth of meat that he didn't want sticky fingers to get to? Or was that a cover story? I don't know. Kale, I need some answers definitely on that one. Anyways, moving on. She is the only one who didn't have support from her parents. Even Kate and Ty had support from Tyler's mom. But Kale's mom was more worried about getting her TV remote control returned to her or Joe's parents worried about her relationship status on Facebook. So yes, Kale's determination and drive really stood out to me. To see her go from that little apartment that she had with Isaac to the beautiful home that she provides for her children now is truly inspiring. I don't care what others say. She is not the villain of the story and she is actually the one who persevered against all odds stacked against her. We're gonna post, clips of Heather's video on socials, and we just wanna say thank you so much to Heather for always supporting all of us and just following us across the board because, obviously, she's a big supporter of the southern tea. She's also a supporter of Barely Famous because she's wearing the the hoodie. And we got a chance to meet her in person when we were in Dallas, and I thought that that was really cool that she put took her own time out to record that video. So I just wanted to say thank you, Heather, and we're just so glad that, first of all, you had those the names of episodes on hand, and I can't wait to relay that back to Bone. But we love that you're part of this community and, being a part of the kiddie gang. I also love that when we met her in Dallas, it was almost like we already knew her. But, also, she brought us gifts of, like, favorite childhood things, which I thought was really, really cool and really cute. I'm very thankful, and I can't wait to finish watching the rest of the video. And completely unrelated news, I had made a promise on Barely Famous that I would get into the will situation. It's a lifetime saga for me, short time saga for you guys, which feels like a really long time. Everyone's been following that journey over how long have we been podcasting? 7 years? 7 years, but then it went even before that on TV. I think it's a really hard situation and I I think that Kale can definitely relate to this being married. There is no breakup that is the same as a divorce in my opinion. I would agree. I have been able to navigate through breakups post divorce that still were not the same, and I don't know if it's because we share a child with each other. We basically were what each other knew for our entire adult lives. And I think just the fact of knowing that you're raising someone that is half of someone else that you were married to and thought that you were gonna do your entire life with them definitely complicates that dynamic. It's easy. I don't wanna say it's easy leaving a relationship, but it's easier leaving a relationship when you don't have a child with someone, you never lived with them, and you didn't do a whole lot of life together. Well, I think we could also say that it might be just as painful for whatever reasons there may be, but it is not the same. I will say my my breakup from Trent was the most painful thing that I've ever been through in my life relationally, but it's still very different than my divorce because I'm still raising my child. Like, I have a reminder every single day. Mhmm. And so I think that a lot of times I've come on here in, times of things going on with Will and I. And when you're co parenting with someone to the capacity that we do co parent because I know everybody's co parenting journey looks a lot different. He and I are currently not in relationships, and I think that that's where situations get sticky. When you are not with someone, I'm not with someone, he's not with someone. So I do think that that has caused some things to be, gray area, I guess, would be the best way to say it. Until I start dating someone and he starts dating someone, then it just goes back to, like, the regular co parenting with boundary thing. It's almost like when we're not dating someone, the boundaries that we have that are in a relationship do not apply when we're not. I would agree. That's sort of where Javi and I were, for a long time. It was like and then one of us would get upset if the other one got into a relationship, and then the lines were, like, we had to put up the boundaries again, and we weren't maintaining the same dynamic when one of us was in a relationship compared with when we weren't. And it's hard to keep up with because I don't come on the podcast or go on my Instagram every single time he breaks up or I break up and, like, disclose that information. Right? So I think a lot of people are getting half of the story of what's actually going on, which isn't really fair to the listenership. Right? But at the same time, I'm also processing all of this stuff in real time in my life, and there are certain things that just don't need to be said. It was said that Will was at our live shows, and I want to be clear that that absolutely was not the case at all. Actually asked for his flight records for where he was, in the event that I ever needed to prove that for whatever reason that I would need to prove. I also wanna normalize the fact that if he did come to a live show, what would it matter? Because we are such intricate parts of people's lives, and he's always been a supporter of me podcasting. Probably not as much of a supporter whenever I'm ringing him out on a podcast, but always a supporter of the podcast journey that we have been on. And so what would guaranteed if we did a show in Atlanta, he would absolutely be there just in support of the fact that I'm his child's mother. I love that about you guys, though, that you guys have the dynamic where he he would do that. I was not sleeping with Will during our live shows. Contrary to a lot of people's belief. We did play a game, and there were people who brought fat heads with I'm just gonna speak to my situation, with my ex husband's face on it. So was he there on a fathead? Yes. But was he there in real life and his person? Absolutely. He was not. You know, I got a cease and desist for that. I said I didn't bring that. That was even do it. I didn't do it. Like, don't get upset with us. She we we were just the messenger. Also, your inner your face is all over the Internet, sir, so I don't know what you're upset with me about. Your face is all over the Internet. Also, these were printed pictures of our baby dad's faces from the Internet. From the Internet. That's the crazy like, I to get sent a cease and desist as if I was getting paid to, like, sling your face around, I wish I was. I cannot. Okay, Lindsay. This holiday season is here. Give the gift that truly matters. I'm telling you this because I know that this is right up your alley. We know that our homes are more than just a place. Right? It's where your family gathers, grows, thrives, all of the things, and Branch Basics believes that creating a safe and healthy home is one of the most important things you guys can do for the people you love. These are cleaning products that are not filled with harmful chemicals, so from toxic fragrances to harsh disinfectants. Branch basics are products that won't irritate your skin and disrupt hormones like normal everyday house cleaning products. I have Branch basics all over my house. Like, I use it on my counters, I use it for my hands, I use it in my bathroom. I have the detergent as well. Branch Basics believes that your health should never be compromised by the products that you use to clean your home. I've done a ton of research on products that you use to clean your home and have just found some really wild things, and that's why Branch Basics is on a mission to educate families about these hidden dangers and provide better, safer alternatives. I started with the Branch Basic starter kit, and it is a powerful plant and mineral based solution designed to clean every room in your home from top to bottom without the harmful chemicals. With just one concentrate, you can tackle everything from your laundry to your kitchen to your counters to the bathroom grime, even gently wash fruits and vegetables. It is safe for babies, pets, and anyone with sensitive skin, and the best of it all, it keeps the air in your home free from all of those harmful chemicals. Actually, use the detergent that I use in my laundry room, on my grout, and my bathroom floors, and it has been a game changer. Get yourself and loved ones the best gift of all, the gift of clean with Branch Basics. For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and free shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code coffee atbranchbasics.comforward/coffee. That's 15% off your order atbranchbasics.comforward/coffee with the promo code coffee. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Get branch basics this holiday season because cleanliness matters. I have been talking to some of my friends, and we all decided that we are going to get back into our workout era. Peloton has everything your workouts have been missing. They have challenging classes, music, and artists that you'll love, and shared cultures with the instructors. Everything you need to push you. Peloton classes will make you want to sing and dance, but you'll still end up having the best workouts of your life. We're talking from strength classes to tread workouts. They have so many fun classes to choose from. Peloton classes are much more challenging than a lot of people think, so I need to be vibing with the right instructor in the right class, and music really, really powers me to get through it all. They also have instructors who get it, whether it's a Spanish only class or a reggaeton runs. Peloton instructors make sure you have the motivation, music, and vibes you need to get a good workout in. Truly, Peloton classes are the only classes that I have ever actually wanted to take because the vibes are just vibing. They have all different types of music, so merengue, reggaeton, salsa, Latin rock, paired with their high energy instructors. Peloton classes make you feel at home in every workout. Find your push, find your power with Peloton atonepeloton.com. So to clear up that rumor, he absolutely was not there. To also clear up the rumor of are we getting back together, we are not getting back together. And I think that anytime that you've ever gone through a divorce with someone and they are still, like, an active participant in your life, there's always this game of what if, what if, what if. I've worked really hard in therapy to remove the what if out of that situation and realized that this this happened for a reason, and we didn't go and file for divorce 2 different times, follow through with it, move on with our own lives buying other homes and creating new lives for Jackson, whether that be a new life with Will for Jackson and then a new life with me for Jackson. We didn't go through all of that just to end up back together. Like, I will always love him and always have love for him, but I'm not in love with him. I think that's fair. I think that also up until this point, there maybe has always been hope or there was hope during certain times for one of you or both of you that maybe you guys could find your way back together. But I think that, you know, at some point, you decide if that's actually a reasonable and in the best interest of all 3 of you. Well, I think in in theory, if we're just talking about theories, it's like, okay. And I'm sure you've been through this before. You had Isaac, and then you had Lincoln with Javi, and y'all became one little family unit. Right. And Hobby took on the dad role for Isaac when y'all had him. Right? Right. I think you always can miss parts of what you had while also simultaneously not wanting those parts back. And I think it that coming to that realization, that missing that or missing him or missing parts of what was is part of the grieving process, but it's not to be confused with we should get back together because we were trying to get back together on several different in several different phases of post divorce navigation. We were trying to get back together, and I think that you could say the same. But it's like, okay. I can miss you, and I can have love for you, but that doesn't mean that we need to get to get back together. And it's I'm I'm gonna bring this sort of full circle because when we talked about the v situation, it was like the first time we ended the podcast, we ended it so amicably. We were gonna end it so amicably and professionally and very directly and just, like, cohesively. But I was like, oh, well, we we should just keep the podcast then because if this is how it's gonna end, we can continue running business, but that is not necessarily what should happen. Do you know what I mean? It's sort of like the same sort of formula. It's like things can be good and you can miss them, and it doesn't mean that you guys are meant to be together. And it's something that I have definitely struggled with, and I don't know if you've had a similar struggle that people don't necessarily understand, like, the inner workings of my life with Will and the co parenting that we do have. That it has been an issue in every relationship that I've had post my divorce. In what way? I think that it has it has been said by multiple people that if we could do that that well, then we should just get back together. And it's like, no. We're doing it that well because we did not do it that well when we were together. We're able to successfully do it that well because we aren't together. Interesting. I I would also agree. I think Javier and I have our feelings about each other personally. We don't always like the other person, but when it comes to co parenting Lincoln, we always find a way. And we always make it work somehow, some way with you know, we might argue about what each other is doing or saying on a personal level. But when it comes to Lincoln, very minimal arguments. And I think I have I am fully responsible on my behalf for struggling with the fact of other people being in Jackson's life and a capacity of that person potentially being a bonus parent. I've struggled with it in my relationships, and I've struggled with Will being in other relationships knowing that that is the actual reality. But I also have had to check myself and say you signed up for this. I would also like to say this, because a lot of I've tried to follow the bouncing ball, and and you could take this or leave it. Over the last, I would say, year, maybe 18 months, I have felt a shift in that. Right? Like, the bonus parent situation because not all of my kids feel the same way about all of their step parents. So whether that be their stepdad and their stepmoms. Right? Like Mhmm. I would go out on a limb and say that all of my kids actively and respectfully really like Elijah, and they're they're good with that. But that is not how all of my kids feel about their other step parent. Mhmm. And I don't wanna single anybody out, so that is why I'm speaking vaguely. But I say that to say, I read the comments about people making comments about, oh, what if Isaac called me mom, or what if Lincoln called Lauren mom, or, you know, how does she feel about this, or imagine if, you know, so and so called them, you know, things like that. I feel so secure in my relationship with my kids. And, again, take it or leave it. My relationship with my kids is like this. I'm not f**king worried If they put their stepmoms in their phone as mom or they refer to them as a bonus mom or a stepmom or a second mom, that does not faze me, does not bother me. I do not give a f**k. Lux and Creed say, like, oh, you know, Chris' girlfriend is my other mom. Cool. Love that. Because I feel so solid in my relationship with my kids that that does not faze me. And I think once you once there's a shift there, it won't bother you as much. And I don't know that for sure, but, like, I mean, Isaac's about to be 15 and I'm just now feeling that over the last 2 years is, like, that's what that is. Do you know what I mean? Like, the security in my relationship with the child. I don't know if it's an insecurity because I feel so solid with my relationship with him. I think I don't feel so solid on certain life decisions that other people make that are involved in the situation. Okay. And there's not enough vetting in that situation for certain people to even, in my opinion, to be around my child. I understand that everything is not my decision, but it is something that I very much struggle with, and I just want it to be the right thing. Like, I don't want anything to be pressed or to be expediated for no reason. Like, I do think that timing timing is everything, and I don't want a ton of people in and out of Jackson's life. And I I think that I've also struggled seeing comments of people saying, well, you know, you dated suburban dad, and then you dated trampoline dad. Yes. I did. And if I could go back and take it back in Jackson's involvement, with one of them, I would. With one of them, I wouldn't. Wait. Why? Why with one of them, yes, and one of them, no? One of them was because the entire relationship was built off of a lie. And so that doesn't make me feel good as a mom, and that makes me very resentful towards that person because why would you put yourself in a situation to involve yourself with a single mom that has a child that is going to naturally grow a relationship, whether it be good or bad being around that person? I can relate to that. Why do that? I agree. With the second situation, it ended amicably. There was no, like, foul play necessarily in that was there foul play a little, but, like, to the capacity of the foul play in the other situation, that whole other situation was built off of a complete lie. I will say this. I want you to give yourself some grace as far as that goes, though, because you wouldn't know if you didn't do it. So, like, now that you have that and it sucks because Jackson was involved, but at the end of the day, you wouldn't know and you wouldn't be more weary moving forward if you didn't have those experiences. So I think this just gives you extra precaution moving forward. So it does suck, but at the end of the day, like, when Jackson grows up, he's gonna understand that you're his mom, you loved him, you are human, and you're not gonna make 100% of the right decisions ever. Like, neither is his dad. So I think that Jackson is gonna have some grace for you, so you need to have some grace for yourself. But tell me how you would feel about this situation. Because I do think that when you are dating as a single parent, that there is vetting that needs to be done that probably looks a lot different than dating if you're not a single parent. I I do think across the board, vetting should be done to save yourself time and heartache. Right? But when you are vetting someone and there is a child involved, there should be extra precautions that are put in place. Hypothetically, if someone that you are co parenting with was dating a person knew that that person that they were dating, they were having around your children, knowing that they did not want your your co parent did not want to have children with anyone else, but this person desired to have a child. You knew you were not giving that to them, but then you still have our child around, said person. To me, that's reckless. Just for clarity purposes, so your co parent's new partner Mhmm. Wanted a child. Mhmm. Co parent is not gonna have child around this woman. Correct. You're still having child around this new partner Mhmm. To ultimately break up because of the deal breaker of not having more children? Yeah. Because it was a deal breaker. That is reckless. I would say that's reckless. And then go on a family vacation with said person involved knowing that you were never giving them a child. Well and was that established before before Jackson was around that person? To my knowledge, yes. Okay. So that that's concerning, I would say. Right? Like, that's those things should be worked out, I think, before involve because if it's a deal breaker on either end on, you know, his end or the new partner's end, I mean, that if it's a deal breaker and you guys decide that you guys cannot be together for that reason, then Jackson doesn't need to meet the new partner. Or ever be involved in that situation, which is what bothers me a little bit about involving him so early on or the fact that those conversations aren't being had before he's being involved. To me, that's a really big deal because I don't want a 1000000 people in and out of his life. The end result could be the same. Right? Like, they could end up still breaking up or I could get in a situation and still break up. But at least it's not over something that, like, I already knew and was still making the choice to allow it to happen. Oh, you're weeding out more possibilities for the breakup later on. Right? Like, if you establish those types of things, those types of deal breakers pretty early on and it's like, okay, this is not budging, you're weeding that out. Right? So I I don't that I feel like is a little And I also get really sick and tired of seeing comments where it's like, oh, it's jealousy. It's not jealousy. It is protectiveness of my child and the situation. This year, I'm thankful for Honeylove because there's nothing worse than suffering from an uncomfortable bra or shapewear, and Honeylove has revolutionized the bra and shapewear game. You guys can say goodbye to underwire that's super uncomfortable, bulky fabrics that just trap heat and make your girl sweat. Honey loves bras feature supportive bonding that eliminates the need for underwire without sacrificing lift, and that's really important to me, especially as a bustier woman. I wear a 40 triple d, which is a lot, and they're made with fabric that is so soft that you don't wanna take it off. So you guys need to get into the Honeylove market. Give yourself the gift of comfort. Plus, for November only, Honeylove is giving up to 50% off-site wide. Visit honeylove.comforward/ coffee to shop their sale and let them know that we sent you when the survey asked. I don't know about y'all, but every time that I wear a bra and I enter the doors of my house, that is the first thing that I do. I take off my bra, but with Honeylove, you will never experience that again. I absolutely love Honeylove's best selling crossover bra. It is so comfortable. It will be your new go to. This bra gives you all the support of traditional bras without using the underwires, plus the mesh detailing adds a little touch of sexy. This is one bra that you're actually going to enjoy wearing and are not going to wanna take it off. I don't think that I've worn a bra since I found Honeylove with underwire ever since. I just can't wear underwire at all anymore, and you guys don't need to either. So treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market, and save up to 50% off-site wide at honeylove.com/coffee this month only. Inventory is limited and the sale ends soon, so don't miss their best deals of the year. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please, please, please support our show and let them know that we sent you. Elevate your comfort, elevate your style. Thanks to Honeylove. You know you can be anything. Right? So go for it. Be an artist. Be a dancer. Be a scientist. Cool. What's next? Make a draft. Write a song. Solve a mystery. Done. What's next? Discover your superpower. Design a next? Discover your super power, design a time machine, ask all the questions, do all the things, explore all of the places. Just don't forget to breathe. Breathing, check. What's next? Kids have exciting stuff to do, so we have exciting stuff to watch and listen. RTE Kids, what's next? Okay. So I'm just confused by was this recent? Are you not saying? Yeah. It it was. What what are what are, Jackson's, like, thoughts so far? Like, are does has he asked questions about people that either of you have dated or, like, have has he does he understand like, I don't think he's dumb, but, like, does he understand, like, what's going or is it introduced to him as, like, a friend? Is it in a, like, a, multiple people sort of setting, like, a group setting? Like, what is or is he aware of, like, what's going on? So anytime that I have ever introduced him to anyone, it has always, at the start, been introducing in a friend setting. So there's lots of people around and we're just all there at the same time together. And, like, I have a rule of no touching, no kissing, no, like, do not lead on as if as if this is anything. I have allowed him to get to the point to ask me, hey. Are you dating so and so? Or I think so and so likes you. And then we kinda like walk through it that way. To my knowledge on the other end, it has been solo activities that are being done not in group settings. So summer rolls around and said person is going with my ex husband and son to the pool or to football games or to family vacation or and again, it's not my choice to make because that's his life, but at the same time, just because it's not my choice to make doesn't mean that I can't have an opinion on it. It's hard because it's one of those things where Jackson is of the age where and I don't I can't speak for everybody. So please, when you guys are listening to this podcast, do not rip my head off for these opinions. I'm speaking from experience and from what I've seen with my own 2 f**king eyes. I have been around families who have had sort of similar dynamics as what you're describing and that it because the chill the child is at a certain age, they're of some level of understanding that both of their parents are single post divorce or post breakup or post whatever. And so they're sort of in the know that, oh, mom's dating, but don't necessarily know who or it's sort of, you know, very few and far between, like, they know of the person but not necessarily met them yet. And I do think depending on the child and the child's maturity and the comfort level and relationship between parent the bio parent and child, you know, some kids, like, if, for example, I was to be single and start dating again, I would feel comfortable and feel like Isaac is mature enough for me to say, hey. I'm dating. You know what I mean? Maybe even Lincoln depending on, you know, when that were when you know, if it was right now and I never met Elijah, yeah, I would feel comfortable telling Lincoln that. But I think if you know your child and if he's not ready for that, then he then he doesn't need to be introduced to anybody on a solo level. To that to that depth, I don't feel. I agree with that. Also, the people that are being introduced also don't have children, which is a little problematic to me mainly because I would hope that if the desire is not to have another child with another woman, at least they're coming to the table with their own child if a child is what they desire. Now if they're a woman who does not want any children, that could be another possible road bump because he already has a child. Right? So, you know, maybe they just don't want any children in their life at all. The the singleness of the party girls is just, like, not something that I'm behind. And when my child comes home and says, you know, dad's on Hinge or whatever, like, it's a telling situation. Also, don't be on dating apps where my son can see it. Yeah. That's I mean, because that that's a whole other conversation that I don't know that any child that is Isaac, Lincoln, Jackson's age needs to be having conversations about. And also I have been, I've never been on a dating app before. Anyone that I've ever met has been just, like, in an authentic way. And so not that I'm slamming dating apps by any means. It's just not something that I I personally would participate in. And it causes me a little bit of alarm because then we also have to worry about the dynamics of is this person seeking him out for, like, an ulterior motive? Because that's also happened where I've received screenshots of these things. Wait. I didn't even think about seeking out someone's ex husband for because all of my exes have been on TV. And so if they're gonna seek them out, they're gonna seek them out unrelated to dating apps, but I didn't even think of that for your scenario. Yeah. So when I'm receiving screenshots of certain things from these dating apps, whether it be screenshots of profile or screenshots of communications that have gone on, to me, automatically, that's a red flag. What is the line between co parents that are navigating this? Like, what is the line? Like, how much do you tell your your ex when you are co parenting a like, what is and I guess every couple could be different or every ex couple could be different, but, like, what is the line? Because I feel like it's probably like, I don't even know what that would be like. Because I know Javier and I were never honest with each other about it, which is why things got so sticky and messy and blurred and everything else is that we were never honest. So what is it? I think I've also just watched too much true crime that I'm afraid that said person on app is gonna be a serial killer. I think that, like, I know it can it could be true also if you just met that person in person. Right? Like Yeah. But for whatever reason, I'm like, that's probably a murderer. Definitely too much true crime. I don't know. I maybe maybe people will give us constructive feedback, like, after this because I truly don't know. Will and I were will forever remain friends. We will forever remain co parents for Jackson, and I don't want any beef, like, going on there, but there are intricacies of co parenting that you are always going to navigate. Regardless, it can be, like, so great, and then you hit a road bump. You work through the road bump, and then you get over it. That's just it. I was invited by my ex sister in law's mother to Santa at her house in early December. Will also was invited. Don't know if there is plans to possibly bring, like, a dating app girl there. I certainly hope not. And, like, how do I go about that to ask, like, hey, you and I were both invited to this because we both still have relationships with her. There's a reason she invited us both. I shouldn't have to not go because of another situation. Like, how how do you navigate that? Or do I even, like, say anything and then I'm just there? I don't know this for sure, but I do think you deserve to have answers. Like, if she plans to be there so that you can make your decision accordingly or or Will needs to work that out with the girl. But at the end of the day, like, you 2 are his parents. So if that woman chooses to come and and Will invites her, then he needs to be letting everything, you know, put it all out there so that neither one of you are blindsided. And, unfortunately, that is up to Will to do. It's just honesty is the best policy. Like, I don't have to like the answer to respect it. Right? But you deserve to know. The deserving to know is a a big thing to me. It's I don't have to like the situation. I don't have to cosign the situation, but I can respect it while also not liking it. I agree. Speaking of Christmas and gifts, like like, presents Mhmm. Mattel, like Barbie, Mattel is apologizing for marketing. They have a marketing mistake on their Wicked Barbies, their Wicked dolls. They were selling Barbies promoting Wicked and the link on the boxes. So if you bought one for your children for Christmas or you bought them for anyone for Christmas, Some of them have a porn site linked on the packaging. And, allegedly, this was a typo, leaving out a couple letters of the link, leading consumers to a porn site. I don't know that I actually believe that it was a typo. I think that it was probably intentional, but I just wanted to warn you guys. If you bought one for your child or for anybody, those links may be affected. So I'm gonna assume that it probably wasn't, like, an exec with Mattel, but maybe somebody who was responsible in their packaging department that intentionally did this. That's not because how what are the chances of leaving a few letters out and it going to a porn site? What are the chances of that? Usually, it would be like URL not found, link is broken, error. But to go to a porn site, that is absolutely intentional. And think about all the kids with technology now. Like, back when I was a little kid, there was no such thing as, like, a QR code or, like, you know, whatever. I get a box from a Barbie. I'm throwing that s**t away, and I'm playing with my Barbie. Now think about all the kids that have cell phones that might be scanning that s**t. They knew what they were doing. And, also, why would you put a link on a box instead of doing a QR code? Like, it's marketing 101. I have QR codes on my freaking bookmarks. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, QR codes would would have solved that problem and also probably look better on packaging. I don't wanna see a link to something. This Alani can right now, QR code. Like, nobody is typing out links. Well, Alani new.com is on the front maybe, but use a QR code to save this issue. I just, like, don't believe that it personally is my opinion that I personally believe that the QR code would have gone to the same thing. Oh, like intentionally gone to the same thing? Oh, yeah. That's true. I think there's this room for error if it was in fact an error. That's literally a PR disaster. Like, what the f**k? Coffee Convos podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Let's face it. Sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming, like, when your favorite podcast is playing and the person next to you is talking and your car fan is blasting, all while you're trying to find the perfect parking spot. But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy, like quoting with Progressive Insurance. 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Since we were talking about co parenting, this one says co parenting in the holidays. What does that look like for you, and why does it feel harder during this time of year? This is why I gave up Christmas in in the very, very, very beginning. I gave up Christmas with my kids for this reason. It's harder because people are doing family get togethers. People have higher expectations of one another. People are in relationships and wanna bring their significant others into the picture. There are a plethora of reasons, also from a financial aspect. You know, I think that there are feelings if one family, one parent, their household is more financially stable than another and who's buying more and there's resentment and sharing the child. Or maybe someone has new holiday plans or different holiday plans. I know at one point, Javi, Joe, and my family were all celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve, and we were all in 3 different areas, with hours in between to travel. So that was a really big point of contention was, you know, if someone doesn't have very specific plans on Christmas day, for example, and it's, like, tentatively between Christmas eve and Christmas day, it's like all of that is at play. I just think things can be stressful more stressful during the holidays. So in the times that we have been not angry with each other, we've been very willing to work with each other. I mean, we still work with each other whenever we're angry. It's just, like, a little bit more hostile working than not. Last year for Christmas, I had Jackson for the first. So ours is broken up by the week. So they get 2 weeks out of school. It's either parent 1 gets 1st week, parent 2 gets 2nd week, and then on the following year, it's flip flopped. Mhmm. So I had 1st week which was the week of Christmas, Will had the week of New Year's. Jackson has always from the time that we were married gone to Will's parents for Christmas day and spent that as, like, extended family. Okay. So I agreed with Will on the years that I have him that I will go ahead and be pre prepared for Christmas day, like, already have all the things ready for the breakfast that I wanna do and stuff in the morning. So Will can pick him up by 11 so they can be at Will's parents by lunchtime because they do Christmas lunch. Okay. And so he still gets to do both of those things because I never want to look back and say I was the reason that he did not get to participate in every other Christmas with his grandparents. Mhmm. I also think that it's very good to set your mind that you can still celebrate the holiday and it doesn't have to be celebrated on the day. That was a game changer for me. I still get to do all of the Christmas things even if I don't have him on Christmas day, and I still get to do all of the Thanksgiving things even if I don't have him on Thanksgiving. I think people get so attached to the actual day. Well, for me, with that, and I'm I'm speaking for us collectively, is that because our families are so far apart, like, mine's in Northeast Pennsylvania, I Havi's was in Allentown at the time. Joe was in New Jersey. Getting the entire family together for Isaac and Lincoln, that was a one time only. Do you know what I mean? So that was where it was such a point of contention for me. And it was like, well, my cousin Candice, her kids her divorce was on opposite years, like, opposite weekends and stuff like that for holidays. And so when I could make it happen, that might have been the only chance to get him together with his cousin. And so at that point, it was like it became a point of contention where I agree with you if it's, like, just you and the kids and maybe your parents or if you guys live locally, it's very different. But for us, we were all over the place in all different states. Yeah. No. That that does make it a little bit more complicated. I also, as far as, like, Christmas list and, like, gifts and stuff, just from experience, the best advice I can give, we always have Jackson make an Amazon wish list. Mhmm. And so we'll send out the Amazon wish list to Will's parents, my mom, my grandmother, and then Will and I buy off of it as well so that we make sure that we're not buying like duplicates of things. Now there are sometimes that duplicates do happen because we don't wanna like switch it between the houses. Right? But for the most part we work really well together. If Will's buying some type of advice or device then I might buy like games and accessories for said device. And we definitely communicate. We're overly communicative during the holidays when it comes to, like, the gift giving. Yeah. Just to make sure because there's nothing worse than, like, if I bought Jackson at Clemson, Jersey, and he was so excited about it at my house and he opened it up first here and then he went somewhere else and got it. It's like, why didn't y'all communicate? I agree. Well, I think on the list too that those it'll show who like, it'll show someone bought it. Agreed. Agreed. That's actually really, really helpful. I'm a big advocate for the the Amazon wish lists. I think I got hate for this before. I'm I would rather spend my money on something knowing that the person is going to like it, use it, and not collect dust. I do I am not one of those people that is like, you get what you get and you don't get upset. I'm not one of those people. Do not buy me something that is going to collect dust that's gonna be thrown out. I don't want in my house. You don't need to spend your money on it. So I want to buy something that is going to be liked, loved, used, etcetera. I'm big on that as well. I'm big on, like, purchasing experience. Please stop buying junk for people. If you're gonna buy thoughtless gifts and and take it with what you want, like, take it with a grain of salt if you want, but But some people think that buying someone, like, I don't know, like, the s**t that you get from, like, Bath and Body Works, Like, they think that's, like, a thoughtful gift. Okay. But some people like Bath and Body Works, but I'm more so mean, like, I don't know. Like, don't buy my kids a stuffed like, for my kids specifically, they don't prefer stuffed animals. Where other people's kids might I loved stuffed animals as a kid. I used to line them up and play teacher. Right? Like, my kids aren't using stuffed animals. So I would rather you save your money. Come see my kids when you see them kind of thing. And and let's move on. Like, I don't I save your money, like, truly, like, I that's the gift. It's like not giving me junk and you saving your money. One thing that I really respect about Will's parents is they are very thoughtful gift givers, which created a thoughtful gift giver and their son. Like, Will's always been like that. I just hate giving gifts and receiving gifts. So I'm not I'm not good at it. I'm just like, everybody make me a list and let me pick off of the list and, like, make sure that your list is prioritized by what you want most on that list to, like, what you just, like, kind of want. I agree. Also, speaking of lists, and maybe I'll have Isaac do the same, but Isaac got his report card back the other day. And I just wanna say that my son is in debate club, drama club, and the president of ASL club, and he his report card was 95, 98, 99, and 89. So I will be because we talked about paying kids for chores or kids for grades or whatever. I am gonna definitely celebrate by getting him something because he worked so hard and it's gonna be practical, but I, I'm I'm definitely and that's my choice if it's not something we talked about. So I just wanted to say that. So he doesn't know what's happening? No. But I'm gonna ask him to make a birthday list, and I'll probably get something off the birthday list for that. And he doesn't listen to this podcast, so I'm not worried about him hearing it. Oh my god. Okay. So this one was a really great one. Are we inviting people that don't respect us to holidays this year? Yes. Including in laws. I don't know how to cope. If I don't like you, say the f**k away. This is tricky because there is you don't have to like somebody to be civil and cordial. And it does get tricky because then the lines are blurred with, like, respect. And I think there's a difference between not liking someone and not respecting someone. They're 2 different things, and I don't necessarily know how you are supposed to be in every scenario civil with someone that you don't respect as a person. So that's really difficult. I guess for me, I'm just not inviting someone to my home that, one, I can't get along with or who does not have respect for me, and in turn, I don't have respect for them. Like, we're not cutting pie over that. Here's the thing. Maybe this would be a good rule of thumb is, like, you're not controlling or having a say, and you'll remain civil if it's at someone else's home. But, like, making the promise to yourself that you're not welcoming people that you don't like or you don't respect into your own home. Let's be let's be respectful and civil in other people's homes and leave it at that. Because then you're not sort of crossing the boundary that you have for yourself, and you're just you're more so respecting the owner of the home or the host of the event if you're, Sybil at their event. And there's definitely been times that I've gone to Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever, and there's been contention between me and someone else or someone else and someone else, that definitely happens. Like, I just think that that's a normal family dynamic, unfortunately. Mhmm. However, I just don't want that in my home. A 100%. I agree. I've, I've definitely minimized the number of people that I'm willing to allow in my house, not even just for respect reasons, but just across the board to protect my peace in all aspects. So I agree. Outside of that, I saw this article on parents.com, and I thought it was interesting. What are living room families versus bedroom families? And I wanna know what, like, your family is. It says that according to a general consensus on TikTok, living room families are described as those who most often congregate in one common area of the home, like a designated family room or basement, usually where the main TV is. Bedroom families are described as spending most of their time in separate rooms, like bedrooms or offices, usually with their own TVs or devices. This activity can also shape how things like family meal time looks like at home in the home as well. My house is a living room home. Whether it be the playroom or our living room, we're always generally downstairs. If Isaac gets on the phone or he wants his like, he Isaac's a very private person, so he does spend some time in his own room. But he also has he's the oldest of 7 or 8. So he he he has a good balance, though. Like, Isaac does a really good balance. Lincoln, Luxe, Creed, Rio, the twins, we are all living room babies. Like, we are always downstairs. I think that it's good to have a balance. I think that because I also saw that I didn't see it on parents.com, but I saw it on TikTok somewhere. Mhmm. And I was seeing, like, the extremes of both, but I think it's good to have a balance. Like, I wanna feel safe to go be myself and hang out in the main living spaces, and I also wanna be able to, like, retreat and go back to my room if I feel like I want some time to myself. There's not enough spoken about the balance or, like, the happy medium. I think that we're a happy medium in this house. Like, we'll watch movies together and stuff in the living room. My kitchen's, like, right off of my living room. So Jackson sometimes might be watching TV while I'm in the kitchen cooking something or whatever. Mhmm. But also we very much individually value time away and, like, space. But it is a said, like, I'm having my personal time and you're having your personal time. My kids also can't watch TV in their rooms. Isaac doesn't have a TV in his room. Lincoln only they Lincoln has a TV, but I think it's only hooked up when he plugs this the gaming system in there. So there's nothing. And then Luxe and Creed don't have a TV. So they don't have TVs to watch up there. I mean and they don't really keep none of them really keep toys in their room. Like, they don't have they they're all in the playroom. So that's like and if they wanted to take them to their room, they can, but they just don't. Jackson's kind of at the age where we are phasing out of toys, and that's what I've been working on for the last couple of weeks, like, trying to get that stuff out of his bedroom. There are certain things that he's like, I'm holding on to that forever, and I'm like, dear god. Alright, y'all. Let's face it. Life can be stressful and it can be overwhelming. I am definitely experiencing that, and it's not just your mind that suffers when you're feeling tense and anxious. Introducing Just Calm, the breakthrough new stress busting formula from Just Thrive. You guys can say goodbye to frazzled nerves and hello to a steady, chill, more relaxed you. 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And a portion of every purchase goes to Vitamin Angels, which is a nonprofit organization that saves the lives of millions of children and moms to be around the world by ensuring they get the vitamins and minerals they need to stay healthy and strong. To learn more about this groundbreaking company, don't miss the episode with Tina Anderson. Take control today with Just Thrive. Well, if you have any toys that you wanna donate to me, I have kids that will play with them. Well, then I'll send you what I've got. Like, I'll send you photos of what I've got, and I'll ship it to you. Because toys are f**king expensive. They're so expensive. They're so expensive. It's like why why why are we paying for, like, a little plastic thing that looks like this, and it's, oh, $69? So you'll give me Jackson's hand me downs, and then I'll the money that I would have spent on new toys, I will do the clear the list for Christmas on Barely Famous. Oh, that would be awesome. Perfect. That would be so I love I love this theory. Like, the amount of squishmallows, ma'am, that I have in this house. Oh, Luxe is a squishmallows. I don't really consider those stuffed animals. Those are, like, their own entity, their own genre. Oh, yeah. My luxe plus sleep with Bush model. Yeah. But they're not they're not stuffed animal. They are, but they're not. They're not. It it's like a a pillow stuffed animal. Yeah. Like, because you could truly sleep with it. I mean, they're more comfortable than some of my own actual pillows, to be honest. But can you believe that when I made the move I was a big like no TVs in bedrooms for kids and then Jackson kept begging kept begging kept begging and then he's like well dad put a TV in my room at his house and I'm like oh f**k. So now he has a TV there. Wait. So let's talk about that for a second because how do you feel about electronics in one house over the other? Because I obviously, we cannot control what goes on in other houses. Mhmm. But, like, Lincoln, for example, I think that he's of an age where he should be able to use his phone if he wants to, like, call or text me. I definitely think it needs to be heavily monitored and there needs to be limits and parameters. Mhmm. But someone like Luxe, Creed, they don't need unlimited access to iPads or TVs or gaming systems. Like, I just don't think that. So what happens when you find out you just said that you're that we'll put a TV in in Jackson's room? Like, I know that not everything can be a discussion with the co parent, but don't you feel like that's sort of something that should be talked about? Oh, yeah. Because I was blindsided by it because we both had the mentality when we were married that there was gonna be no TV in kid's bedroom. Like, if you wanna watch TV, you can come down to the family room. You're not gonna be in your room alone watching TV. Same for phones, especially, like, the kids came home last night and they were telling me how they got they got their dad's old phone. And it's like, they're 7 and 4. Mhmm. And Yeah. No. I do think you're just creating unhealthy habits? I do think that those should be conversations, but I would I would go out on a limb and say that most people do not have conversations about that stuff. Will I have a ton of conversations about technology? And when I found out about the TV in the bedroom, I internally was losing my s**t because I was like, okay. Well, now he has it over there. So half of the time he has it. I'm gonna do it at my house now because he has an expectation. Is that gonna make him want to be there more? I mean, ultimately, that did not make him wanna be there more. But I felt I just feel like it should be consistent wherever you are. So, like, whatever you have at one place should be at the other place. What you don't have should not be at the other place. I would say 2 of my co parents have the argument that rules that my house are my house, and it rules that your house are your house. And I think to some degree, that is true, and some degree, that is okay. But when it comes to screens and just accessibility, like, I think link Lincoln's fine to have his phone, but, like, I had tried to match what Javi does over there. But it's really difficult because I don't want to also limit his access to Javi. And so that's part of it too. It's like when you're restricting access to his phone, you're restricting access to me, and I believe he's at the age where he should be able to call me or text me whenever. And I should be able to call him and text him whatever. Because Lincoln's never been the kid to, like, abuse it and, like, go overboard with that. But then if he doesn't have the phone over there and that restricts access to me, and then he does have the phone over here and I don't restrict access to him, it's it's I don't know. It's a lot. It's a lot of stuff that they don't talk about, and we couldn't have been prepared for when we got divorced. Well, I will just tell you, I have more recently experienced the cell phone issue. I never limit access. That was the whole point of getting the phone so that there could be free communication between people. Mhmm. Whether it be Will's other family members or him specifically, he does not have to dial my phone to get in touch with his child. When you are now using that as your main communication to the child, and you're able to rely on that whenever I have him, you then in turn don't get to say my house, my rules, I'm taking the phone and you have to call me. Like, I'm paying for the phone. You're allowed to use that as your main access point to him. Mhmm. You never have to call me or never have to deal with me. But now when you have him, you take the phone Mhmm. Put it on top of your refrigerator, turn it off Mhmm. Till it's time for him to come back, then he gets it back, and I don't have restrictions. That's not fair to me or to him because one, it's 2 different standards in 2 different homes. But then also, you have access to something that I'm paying for for you to have access, but I don't have the same access. That's exactly what's happening over here. Exactly to a t is what's happening. It's getting taken at that house and given back over here, but then you are communicating with him. That's exactly what is I thought I was the only one, so I never brought it up, and I didn't really wanna put it on blast. But it is frustrating because what is the line? Like, do we need to set up a call that, like, every week, you know, because I want to make sure that that relationship, you know, as as they get older, I want to make sure that they have equal access to both parents. And I want to make sure that they, you know, all my kids, I would never restrict access between him and his dad. So I wouldn't want the same done to me. And I think by default, protecting from screens or not allowing him to be, you know, have the phone for for extend like, pretty much the entire time, you are restricting by default access to me because I also don't have communications with you on a regular basis in a normal co parenting way. I have to either email or via group chat if Lincoln is of age to know what the conversation is. And so Well, and then I'll FaceTime, for example, and Will answers his FaceTime. Obviously, it's his phone. Mhmm. And I'm like, hey. Where's Jackson? Can I talk to him? And he's like, oh, well, he's in the basement or he's, like, in his room or obviously somewhere that I can't talk to him. And he's like, you can't talk to him right now. Okay. Well, this could be easily solved because he could just have his phone, and I could call him, and I wouldn't be talking to you, and you wouldn't be talking to me. The only time that I've ever like, with that, when you call the parents' phone because I think Luxe and Creed are younger, so that's the only time I would say you can't talk to them right now is, like, right before school and right before bed. Any other time, I feel like it's more, I might not wanna get up or stop what I'm doing to go get them, but I would be more like, I'm fine to do that during the day or, you know, if there's a set period. But, like, right in the mornings before school, absolutely not. You're not about to because I've had an experience. I'm not gonna name who for privacy purposes where the other parent is essentially bribing the child. Oh, guess what I bought for you? Guess what toy I have at my house for you? Guess what I guess what we're gonna do when you get back? And those were the types of conversations that were happening right before bed and in the morning. I'm so I deaded the morning ones right away. I was like, we're not even gonna start this. But the phone calls that were before bed were like, oh, I got this toy. Oh, I ordered this. Oh, we're gonna do this. You are not so that what? They can then talk to me about going over there for the next 3 days? That is manipulation. Mhmm. See, I don't manipulation. I don't like that kind of stuff. I would be interested to know what people who are listening that deal with this, how they remedy the situation because I haven't found one yet and it's a constant like that communication issue for me with Jackson is a constant fight that we it's just like on a reoccurring every week. Yeah. And now the phone's gone again. Yeah. That's what exactly what was happening with, for Lincoln, and it was it's it is frustrating. It's frustrate I mean, I don't even think Javier and I know what's going on. We don't think we know what's going on. We don't. And on that note, we have foul play. Foul play. Okay. I thought after all this time, it was finally time to submit a foul play. I was at your Dallas show, and it inspired me to tell my very own dick down dick down Dallas story. 3 years ago, my husband and I took a random road trip to Dallas together. It's about a 5 and a half hour drive from where we live. I never ever let my husband plan anything because I'm a control freak, and he begged me to let him plan this one. I regretfully let him, and the hotel he picked wasn't in my kind of neighborhood, but I tried very hard to put on a smile and let it be. Well, you're better than me because old Kiel would have flipped the f**k out. Oh, okay. We hadn't had sex in several months due to me healing after a pregnancy, and so he was ready for us to get it on. At this hotel we're at, we started having some floor planning, asked me to give him head. After a few minutes of this, we are both really getting into things and clothes are coming off. Still giving him head, all of a sudden, we are loudly interrupted by the fire alarm at the hotel as the whole place is being evacuated. We are frantically trying to put on our clothes as we rush outside from the room to a crowd in the hallway trying to leave. I was so out of it. I tried to take the elevator as my husband is yelling at me. You never take the elevator when there is a fire. I'm pretty sure the whole crowd of people could tell I had sex hair and dick mouth as we stood outside the hotel with fire trucks with the fire trucks coming to this hotel in not the best of areas. The mood was definitely killed for the night, but we did have a good laugh about it now. Your Dallas show is the first time we had returned since that happened, and I definitely picked our hotel myself this time. Needless to say, I'm even more of a control freak now, and my husband is not allowed to plan things anymore. Love you, ladies, and The Dallas Show was a whole vibe. Okay. That's really funny. I But she's really funny. I have always said people who sleep naked what the f**k are you doing? Like, if there ever is a fire or an emergency and you're woken up with said emergency, you're disoriented. Like, I am not thinking about where my f**king clothes are. Right? Yeah. Could you imagine being in a hotel with a fire alarm going off? I don't know what would be worse. What I'm about to say What? I feel like I would've just, like, kept having sex and not gone out. Oh. Because I feel like I would've been convinced that it was, like, a false alarm. I are they usually? Because I'd I've I've been in a hotel, I think, once definitely once, maybe twice with a fire alarm, and I'm pretty sure the one that was, like, teen mom era, Sam Smith concert, Sterling, peach, Javi, that whole scenario, that that night when we went to that hotel, there was a fire alarm, and I think it might have been like, it was like a fraud. Oh, yeah. Like, why are you testing us? Like, we've all learned the stop, drop, and roll. Mhmm. We know what we're supposed to be doing. Yep. We're all adults here. Please don't f**king do that. 100%. Also, that's absolutely terrifying to know that you could be, like, in a sexual situation and then all of a sudden a fire alarm goes off. No. A 100%. It's I I wouldn't even I would be all sort of out of school. Going outside with a heart on? Blue balls. Like, can you imagine? Absolutely not. And I also love that she came to the Dallas show. I I need to know if she brought her man. Yes. She did. She said she did. Honestly, with the live shows, there were a lot more men than, like, I expected there to be. 100%. I and I loved that because we need men to step outside their comfort zone for sure. 100%. Okay. Next person says, when I was 18, many moons ago, my boyfriend and I were on a long road trip. I was raised to pack your road trip food. There was no stopping to eat. Oh, dear god. This sounds like my grandparents. I chose to pack tuna fish sandwiches for us, and I wrapped them in tinfoil and threw them in the dash of my car. Why are we that's the first problem is putting tuna fish in the car for a road trip. That is problem numb number 1. Remember how I said that, like, I hate the smell of, like, a banana in the car? Yeah. Could you imagine tuna being circulated for the events? Absolutely the f**k not. It was late August, and we were traveling in the afternoon, not a place not the place for tuna fish sandwiches to be baked in tinfoil. Partway through, I decided I was hungry, so I chose to eat eat the sandwich and he did not want one. Thank god he didn't want one, not long, and I mean, not long after eating this baked spoil this big spoiled sandwich. I felt my gut gurgling out of control. I told him on the freeway, you need to stop right now because I have to s**t. He goes, I am not stopping. I will take the next exit. I said, stop the effing car right now. He did and I had to hang my naked beer a*s over a guard wheel over a guard rail in broad daylight. I was farting and squirting all over the guard rail and a cop pulled up and asked if he could help. At that time, I let out the biggest shark and he said, well, I can see you have things taken care of. I will let you be. Needless to say, we had to take every exit exit after that for about 4 hours. I finally fell asleep and he floored it since our 8 hour road trip was now 12 hours. So never ever make a sandwich with mayo and wrap it in foil and put it in the dash. Number 1, I don't think it's the mayo, honey. I think it's honestly the tuna fish. Here's the thing. I always wonder because of my bubble guts, my spontaneous bubble guts, my IBS. If I was caught s**tting on the side of the road, would I get a ticket for that? Because truly it's an accident and, like, what would you have rather me done, s**t myself in the vehicle? Like, I don't know. What is that what are the protocols surrounding s**tting out on the side of the highway? I mean, I certainly hope a cop would not ticket somebody that's diarrheaing on a guardrail. Like, could you imagine? Like, oh, I'm getting a ticket for this for indecent exposure. Well, indecent decent exposure, but also it's like a public health hazard, I feel. But, like, is it if it's on the side of the highway? Because what are the chances of somebody coming in contact with that? You know what I mean? So, like, what is the protocol? Like, do you get taught that when you're becoming a state trooper and you're sitting on the highway? What does that look like? I feel like it's not against the wall. Because you're still getting a ticket if you if you get pulled over for speeding because you do have to s**t, you're getting a ticket. So if you are actively s**tting on the side of the road and you've committed no other crimes, like, what are I would love to know. 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