Transcript
You remember when you were younger and used to go to sleepaway camp or day camp or have, like, sleepovers with your girlfriends? Even in your early twenties when you were single and there was no kids and there was no real life and there was no worry about what your paid time off was, that's kind of what we're getting back to at Lady World. Lady World is a 3 day podcast and music festival, but it's really just a lady camp. We're gonna be doing Pilates and yoga and walks on the beach. We're gonna lay in the sun. We're gonna do crafts and beading and painting and drink wine, and we're gonna have gifting, and then we're gonna hang out with our friends, and we're or we're gonna make new friends. And then at night, we're gonna listen to, like, some nineties music or maybe the main and watch our favorite podcasters like Stassie or Caitlyn or LadyGang. And then we're gonna go to bed at 10 o'clock, and we're gonna wake up and do it the next day, and maybe we'll have a pickleball tournament with Becca. It's literally all the lady camp of your dream is at Lady World. It's gonna be an incredible time. We're so excited. We are deep in planning. There's gonna be more announcements coming early this spring. Please head over to ladyworld.coladywor ld.c0. You can find all the information about how to score your weekend pa*s. We can help you with accommodations. The flights are not bad if you book early, and so we're so excited. And if you're in that area of the world, Atlanta, it's like a 3 hour drive for you. Atlanta LadyGang, come to the beach with us. We're so excited to see you at Lady World, and we can't wait for you to see what we have planned. Ladyworld.c0 for tickets, passes, accommodations, and more. It's time for a quickie. Podcast 1 presents The LadyGang, the Hollywood Girl Posse with LadyGang Quickie. Here's Keltie Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jac Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to LadyGang Quickie. I'm Becca here with Jac and Keltie, and I just watched something so disturbing. Keltie has the soundboard at her feet. And instead of leaning over to push record with her finger, she took her barefoot out of her slipper and used her big toe to press the record button. Yep. That I'm multidextrous. I actually am too. I can do a lot with my feet. I can pick up a lot of items. Yeah. I'm, like, incredible. Like, every one of my toes can move at different, like times. Like, I feel like it'd be a good monkey. My acupuncturist told me it's very important that we splay our toes every day Oh. For your for your body and for everything. And I tried to have Chris splay his toes, and he couldn't. Yeah. Like, I can do a lot of men can. I can do a jazz hand with my toe. Yeah. Me too. I can use my my pinky toe. You're razzle dazzle that. That's what I do about toe separators. Yeah. They feel I used to use those. I use them too. I don't know what they're doing. What? They feel weird? Yeah. Well, I have a bunion. Oh, odd. Slight bunion. Not, like, surgery. Gonna get worse. You know? But I know. But I think My sister looked at my foot the other day and said I had a bunion, and I thought it was really rude. Yeah. It's not great. It's not good. It hurts, but such is life. Anyway, we're recording. We did it. We recorded. Yeah. Thank you, Foote. Today is a very serious episode of LadyGang. Just kidding. Well, there's a little bit. But here's the thing. We are a multifaceted woman here at LadyGang. We can laugh and talk about celebrities. We can make fun of each other for using their big toes for things that are current need normally used a hand for. We can, you know, we get the riz. We have the riz. We have the dazzle. We have it all. You know? Mhmm. The zazz. The zazz. But we also have a lot of feelings. And a lot of times, when we actually share our real feelings, that's when we get the most love from our community. My point being is that, like, every once in a while, we'll open up the vault of our souls. Mhmm. And this and it will do it. People love it. They feel inspired by it. So LadyGang, open your soul. Bring it out. Is your soul open, Jac? Here she comes. Okay. Here it comes. Okay. When Here's the first question. No. What do you wanna explain what I don't even know what shadow work is. Okay. So shadow work is this thing that you do in therapy where you you're like your own shadow, and you're asking yourself questions about like, if there was a little Jac Yeah. On your shoulder that followed you around, and we asked that Jac these questions, and she answer answered them very honestly what she would see. So it's So you're trying to, like, answer questions without ego? Without ego and without without lying to yourself. I thought shadow was, like, the ugly part, like, the hard to face parts that you don't Yeah. Well, that's what they what it is too. Okay. I mean, I was just making that up, but I'm happy to. It's like it's like your shadow. I don't think it's actually No. It's the dark little Jac on your shoulder. Where the sunshine does not hit. It's like how it's really when Jac's podcasting, but also texting in her group chat the whole time. That wasn't a group chat. I just got offered to go to a Botox party. Oh. Oh. Will you go? No. It's from my dad. That's shady. I know. That's shady. I don't think you should go to group Botox ever. No. Not a Groupon. I am excited Beccause I think I'm gonna get, like, a moxie peel. What's that? Where they, like, laser off your face? Oh, I'm glad. I know. I'm gonna see. I haven't had, like, one of those things. Just age spots. Sorry. Anyway, back to us, back to the shadow work. Dun dun dun. When am I the hardest on myself and why? Where does it stem from? When am I hardest on myself and why? Where does it Feeling like an unsuccessful loser, and that stems from being a loser and being rejected all the time. Are you really harming yourself? I mean, Beccause Beccause, devil's advocate, on the podcast, you play it off. Like, you play it from what I see on the outside Uh-huh. I see you as someone who has decided on this life that is going to be 99.99% rejection and is like, it. It's rejection. And I know I'm gonna get rejected, so I just get rejected, and then I let it roll off. But isn't that a defense mechanism? Well, I but there's a difference between, like, having a moment of, oh, I'm a loser again and then let and then moving on. Yes. Yeah. I don't, like, dwell in the feeling of being a loser. No. But I would say that's where I'm the hardest on myself is, like, the first, you know, 7 hours post. That's You do have the sads. You have the sads. No. It's not the sads. It's the one I'm hardest on myself when I'm, like, you're a loser, and it's been proven again. So, like, okay. Great. Let's do it again tomorrow. I love this feeling. It's awesome. I feel alive. So, yeah, I don't dwell in it. Yeah. And I don't necessarily get sad. I just get, like, oh, right. The it's like the self fulfilling prophecy or, like, I don't know the term terminology for it. But it's like, you know, when you believe something, and then you you just basically make it come true all the time. Yeah. Self fulfilling prophecy for sure. Yeah. So yeah. No. I just I recently had something like that happen with me where I wasn't hosting the Thanksgiving Day parade. And I went to NBC, who still has a parade, and I was like, hey. Like, I would love to be involved. Millions of people have watched me host this for a decade. Like, it would be cool to bring all those people over to this. And they were like, we're good. Who's hosting it? Yeah. Are they coming to host? I mean, not that I didn't even ask for a host position. I was just like, if there's, like, a man on the street or maybe there's, like, a TikTok live or, like, something to be in the mix Yeah. And be there. But, I mean, it's like Hoda. Like, I'm not gonna take Hoda's spa. Like, I get on it. Yeah. But, like, for a minute there, I was, like, oh, you're right. I'm a loser. And that's and then I got over to a certain The job doesn't exist anymore. Thank you, Jac. You're right. True. You're right. If it existed, you'd still have that job. It's not like they replaced you. But you still but it's like when your TV show gets canceled, you're like, I'm a loser. Yeah. It must be me. It's gotta be me. Everybody complained about me. Yeah. It was us. I'll it was my fault. Okay. Jac? I've just always been my own worst critic, like, always about everything. So it's not anything specific. It's just how I'm 24 Kevin. He is a human. I think it stems from probably undiagnosed OCD in a sense and my perfectionism that I know is, like, a genetic thing. My dad has the same kind of thing, but I've always been like that. I think I've talked about it, but, like, on the on the podcast. But when I was, like, a kid and I'd, like, make all these drawings and I was such a good artist when I was a kid, and I'd, like, crumple them up not thinking that they're good enough. So it's just, like, in my DNA, I think. Yeah. But I'm the hardest on myself when people question like, I can take rejection, and I can take all of those things. But when people, like, question my integrity as a human being, that's when I am like, oh my god. I'm a terrible person. Beccause I might have 20% terrible person in me. Like, a little bit of that evil genius has to be evil. And I know the reason I've been successful in Hollywood is Beccause I have that 20% ruthlessness. And that's like, I'm fine with that. Like, I'm okay. I think the ratio is okay, but, like, I know I'm ruthless. I know that I will, like, cut a b***h if I need to. I mean, I don't often do it, and I do it very silently. So You all only do it if somebody talks to me. Yes. But when people see that part of me and they call me out on it Mhmm. That's when I'm like, oh my god. They know you're a terrible person. You need to run and crawl in a hole. You need to stop doing this. Like, that's when I'm so hard on myself. Like, people can tell me I'm ugly all day on the Internet. It doesn't really I mean, I it's funny. It kind of affects me, but, like, I would say it's, like, pretty water off a duck's back. But, like, when someone is, like, you're a bad person, I'm like, you're questioning your character. Does that happen often? No. But when it happens, it really messes with me. Yeah. Like, it just happened something we're doing for Lady World, someone, like, was like, oh, I don't know, like, if this is and I I was, like, so sad for a few days, Beccause I was like, oh my god. They know. Like, everyone knows I'm a bad person. Did you have my secrets? No. I know. It's very strange. And the reason it's where it stems from is I think that I have always until, really, this podcast and you guys got it out of me, I've always hidden my evil genius. Like, now it's a joke with us that it's, like, the evil genius. But, like, I I sort of as a kid and I was much like you, Jac, like, trying to be perfect, trying not to, like, rattle any feathers, trying to make my family is just, like, very peaceful. And then I got to be an adult, and, like, I really hated it when people are like, oh, you just married that guy for a green card. And I was like, no. I didn't. Like, he was my boyfriend. We never talked about getting married. He proposed to me. I felt like gaslit, but, like, he was my boyfriend, and I really loved him. You know? And, like, I tried. I went into it, and I was like, okay. I'm gonna move to New York. I'm gonna be this Italian wife. Like, I tried to learn how to cook. Like, I really, really, really tried. But was there 20% of me that was like, well, this is great. I get to live in New York City where my dream comes dry. That's totally fine. There is not a single person on the face of this earth that is, like, 100% good natured all of the time. Also, you're allowed to acknowledge perks of certain people, certain relationships, certain things. It doesn't mean that that's why you are friends with those people or with those people in relationships. There are people there's a very big difference about between people who their priority is to get things for them selfishly. So it's like no interaction is genuine. No relationship is genuine. You're not one of those people No. At all. Beccause you don't use people. You don't use people. I know. I could use them more. I really could. This episode of Lady Ink is brought to you by OneSkin. This is a very unique brand that uses these peptides to scientifically reverse skin aging at the molecular level. I'm not a scientist, but that sounds good to me. But I think what's really cool is they actually have a body product. And if you're a lady like me who has been spending a lot of time caring for your face and antiaging and wrinkles, and then you, like, catch the side of your elbow in the mirror or your chest or your under boob or your butt or your knees, and you're like, man, I maybe should have paid attention to these parts of my body. I love this Beccause OneSkin has this amazing head to toe skin health duo, which has a body product that you can just rub all over your body when it's clean, and it's the peptides are gonna go to work. It's more than surface level. You're helping your skin at a cellular level and give it 12 weeks. 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In 2025, maybe you're ready for a plot twist, or maybe there's a part of your story you've been wanting to revise. Life isn't about resolutions that fade by February. It's about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. Think of therapy as your editorial partner, helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful story you deserve to live. I have been going to therapy for over 10 years. It has taught me so many things. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and figuring out how to tell your own story. So BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, and it's easy to switch therapists at any time at no extra cost. So write your story with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/ladygang to get 10% off your 1st month. That's betterhelphelp.com/ladygang. The LadyGang. What's the biggest lie I tell myself consistently? Oh, what's yours? I'll save money tomorrow. That's so true. I am the world's worst person with money. Not that I go around. I just have no discipline. So I'll justify I'll have, like, a, oh my god. I walked out the door, and I had a $300 a day. Yeah. And then I'll justify it, and I'll be like, it's fine. The rest of the week, I won't spend money. And then the rest of the week, I won't comes around. It's this is so funny, Becca, Beccause you don't buy anything big. No. Dude, those little the little things add up. The little circles too. What I do. And I think that this is the way that I spend money like, I I'll admit. I don't look at prices in a grocery store. I feel very fortunate that I don't need to do that. Yeah. I don't check prices of things on Amazon. I mean, I do on Amazon. But there are some things that I don't pay attention to. And the reason is is Beccause I spent my twenties in New York on a tight budget. A 100%. I'll never forget going into a CVS and thinking to myself or Duane Reade. I can't buy enough tampons this month Beccause I don't have 6 dollars. Or thinking, like, one day I'm gonna come in here and I'm gonna buy 4 lip glosses just Beccause I want to. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that, like, feeling of just the frivolous spending, it was never, like, I can't wait to make money and buy a house. It was, like, I can't wait to make money and go on a shopping spree at Duane Reade. Yeah. Beccause that's more important. Yes. And and like restaurants. Like, if I'm out at a restaurant to eat, which is not often anymore, I'm not checking to see the prices on the thing that I'm ordering. Well, this is so crazy. This is what my I don't know if your parents do this, but, like, my dad and I will go out for dinner, and he's like I'm like, well, do we wanna get an appetizer? He's like, $16 for an artichoke dip? No. Like that. And I was just like, oh my god. Like, I'm having dinner with my dad. Like, I'm so happy. I see you three times a year. Like We're getting the artichoke dip. Having the artichoke dip. But I understand that that's a privilege, but, like, I agree. There's certain times where I'm just like but I think it stems from the fact that I used to be like I just recently found a journal entry from New York, and I was listing all the things that I was really thankful for. And this was, like, in 2006. And it said I have $381 in my bank account. And I was like, oh my god. I am rich. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And, like so I never yeah. I hear you. So those are the things that's still the way that I live my life. Like, if I'm at a grocery store or if I'm at a Mhmm. And I actually have gotten I did follow through on one thing, which was my Amazon. I I only buy things that I absolutely need Yeah. On Amazon now Beccause I had to reign that in. Beccause it's so easy. It's so easy. It's so easy. But I'm I have to say that I've mastered Amazon. Mine's funny Beccause it's money related too, but, like, sort of in the opposite, but not really. Like, the lie that I tell myself is I'm gonna go broke every single day. Oh, well yeah. Like, I and I I think it stems from I mean, I didn't grow up rich. Like, my parents aren't rich. They're, like, middle cla*s. But when I was, like, getting really big with, like, the Jac Vanac brand, when I was 21 years old, I was so young, and I was making the most money I've ever made in, like, 2 years than I've ever made since then. Mhmm. But the way my parents were like, you're saving this money. You're not spending a dime of it. And at the time, I was Oh, my god. Sharing, like, a 1 bedroom apartment or a studio apartment with one of my friends. Like, we were sleeping in the same room. Like, I could have rented a super expensive apartment, but my parents are like, no. You're gonna do that. Yeah. And you're gonna not touch your money. And I think it's obviously the best thing that they've ever done, but there's a part of me that still has that, like, scarcity Google, but it's scarcity. It's like, I think about it, like, all the time. I'm like, next year, I could be making no money. Like, I don't know, but I've saved my money that that's never gonna happen the way that I've, like, been good with money, but I always am telling that myself that. Yeah. And I'm so grateful that I have Jared that's, like, so great with, like, money stuff, and he's, like, helping me with my savings and my taxes and all that kind of stuff. Then I'm, like, I can trust him. And I my dad helps me with it before, but, like, I I don't know. There's something about me that, like, money scares me. Yeah. I think a lot of women we've talked about on the podcast. Yeah. Like, it's, like, it was just a terrible terrifying thing. Yeah. I'm I'm sort of the opposite Beccause I'm, like, that's my power. Yeah. Like, I Well, you're very, like I'm so able to love. Yeah. I, like, love. Like, yesterday, I was, like, excited about tax season. So yesterday, I literally looked at my credit card, and I was just I was looking at all, like, how I bought almost nothing big this whole year other than, like, the car. Yeah. And I was, like, what did I spend my money on? And then it's, like, Uber, Amazon, the Uber Eats. Like, I was just, like, oh my god. I spent, like, so much money on nothing. Like, I'm so mad at myself that I'm, like, I need to, like, be better anyway about, like, buying something big that's, like, gonna be worth it. I'm always mad at myself when I go and I do those stupid things, like tinker toys. The stupid DoorDashes, and they're and they're, like, run to whatever weird place. I'm, like, I at the end of this week, I, like, probably could have saved $1,000. Yes. And I much would have much rather, like, had an intentional spend of $1,000 or an intentional save of $1,000. Yes. But, I mean, that's kinda like the world we live in. It's a really hard thing to break. And then, also, things are expensive. Life is expensive. Expensive. Beccause even when you just do the bare minimum of what you need, it's like toilet paper No. Paper towels For, like, $20. And shampoo and all the things you need to just be like an adult is hard. It's a it's a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. The biggest lie I tell myself consistently is that I am, like okay. I don't know how to say this, but I need you guys to really understand. K. So I get up in the morning. I'll go to Pilates. I'll, like, you know, work in the yard or, like not the yard work, but, like, I'll sit out there or I'll sit in the office and email. And, like, I'm in my sweatsuit, like, no makeup, no hair, whatever. And then I'll go to eat, and then they put me together. So that's, like, my normal day. Right? Unless we have something in the morning. The lie that I tell myself is that, like, I am pretty. But, like, I know that I'm pretty, so it's not about being pretty. But it's like, we've like, in your twenties I mean, I was hideous in my twenties. But, like Same. You could run around in your sweatpants, and it was, like, kind of cute. Like, I'm a slob kebab. Like, I know I'm a slob kebab. I go to work in, like, a slipper. Like, the other day, one of the makeup artists was like, woah. I've never seen you wear a pant before. I've worked here for 2 years. You're telling me I have never arrived to work in not a legging or sweat pant or a onesie. Like, I'm kind of a disgusting slob, but I'm presenting myself like I'm pulled together. And that's one thing that really bothers me about myself is that I want to, like, I want to be but here's my question. I know exactly what you mean, and I think a lot of women go through this. I think there's a lot of women, especially since 2020, where you can do so much of your work at home. Yeah. Or if you don't have a job, it's now become so so acceptable to go out in clothing. We would never would have been caught dead in Carryout done. Yeah. Like, I'll catch myself in the mirror or, like, walking by, and I was like, I can't believe I'm out in public. I do this same exact literally how I live 99% of my life. But, yeah, I was gross. Feel when you do put the pants on, do you feel better do you feel better about yourself? Beccause Yes. I actually used to be the type of person that just felt like it was wasted energy to do the thing to put myself together. Yes. But then Emily Loftus, on a a mutual friend of ours, she was talking about how she had a client. She does personal styling. She has a client who just feels really bad about herself right now. Like, she's postpartum. She doesn't feel comfortable in her body. She's tired, blah blah blah. And Emily was like, just do one thing every day. Put on mascara. Just put on a little something that makes you whatever the your mascara is Right. Whether it's washing your hair, whether it's the manicure. We all have the thing that once you've done that one thing, you're like Spray tan. I can take on the world. Right? You in a spray tan. And I thought about that, and I thought I have been fooling myself a little bit into thinking it doesn't affect how I carry myself through the day Yes. If I don't put myself together. It's so true. It's so weird. It's so true. And it's like, you know and people will be, like, oh, well, you shouldn't dress for anybody else or the guys or whatever. But it's, like, it really is something for yourself. It's self care. Yeah. It's, like Beccause there's been times, like, I'll go down to Pilates. You know, they have a 1000000 mirrors. And I'm, like, just nasty. And I, like, look in the mirror, and I'm, like, ugh. And then the times that I go and I have, like, my matching set on, and, like, a nice bun in my hair, and, like, have washed my face, like, I actually do feel better. Yeah. And I'm, like, it's just such a weird thing. And the reality of it is is, like, whether or not you like it or not, people treat people who are put together differently. Like A 100%. Out in the world to put to put together and I'm not saying decked out. I'm saying just, like, clean hair Yeah. Little bit of makeup, an outfit. Yeah. Like, I get treated differently. People are nicer to me. Yeah. Mhmm. Well and, also, it kind of, like, trickles down to my marriage. It's like, yes. You're with this person that you know loves you unconditionally. Like, yes, we're married. But it's, like, the amount of I've gotten into this thing where I know Chris is, like, I love you without makeup. Like, I don't like all that stuff on your face. And, like, I I come home from Ian. I have, like, all the makeup on. We eat dinner together. And he's like, ugh. But, like, now I've taken a step too far where I'm like, oh, you like me without makeup, so you like me as slob kebab. Yeah. Those are not the same things. No. Do you know what I mean? Mhmm. Beccause I came out of the closet the other day, and I had, like, a great mini t shirt kinda cropped and a gray sweat pant, but I had, like, had my hair washed and, like, skin on and, like, obviously, I have skin on. But you know what I mean? Like Yeah. Like, the skincare that makes skin care look glowy and pretty. And he was like, oh, cute. So it's not about, like, necessarily the outfit. No. But, like, I tried to, like, not just be, like, real. This is this is also what my girlfriends and I were talking about last night. We were having dinner, and they were, like, I hate feeling like an old grumpy millennial. But when I see girls with the zit stickers on their faces, to me, that signals that you haven't washed your face since you went to bed last night. Granted, I think some people do wash them in the day now. But know. But some of them are just doing overnight and then just kinda rolling it into the day. Yeah. And they're like, I know that we do that too, but we at least, like, put on the hair the dry shampoo and, like, all the things to try try to conceal. And to me, the sticker is, like, I officially Don't give a Yeah. And that's tough. Oh, see. I like it. I mean, it's like embracing your breakouts as a teen, and I think that's cute. Like, I like the new attitude, but I get it where it's like, I don't actually when I'm sitting next to you on a Southwest flight, I I don't I wanna know that you showered the day before. Mhmm. I don't wanna smell your scalp. Okay. On that note, we have so much more shadow work. We'll have to come back and do this again. Great episode. Great episode. We weren't here for a long time. You're here for a long time. LadyGang is produced by podcast 1 with podcasting production assistance from Steve Dellimeter, Derek Haley, editing by Jared Monaco, and social support from Kalle Carrera, and mastermind evil genius from Keltie Knight.
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