Dryspells?!

Transcript

Hello, everyone. Jack's here with another episode of When Reality Hits. I've got an exciting guest with me in the studio today. He started in the pods behind a wall, fell in love without ever seeing the person, got married to the woman, became the fan favorite couple the entire season, and now he's sitting here with me today. Let's welcome a Garrett Josmans. Did I say that right? That's it. It's perfect. From Netflix's Love is Blind. Wow, man. Okay. We got a lot to get into here. First of all, congratulations. Thanks. Yeah. It's kinda sounds yeah. I mean, it sounds crazy when you read it back. I'm, like, listening. I'm like, that was me. I did that. Like, it's kinda crazy. And, clearly, this this experience worked for you. Yeah. Yeah. That was probably the biggest surprise. I I think at the end of the season, they do, like, a whole, like, a 3 hour interview wrap up and are sitting you down and you just kinda go through everything. And at the end of it, they're like, what do you have on your mind? Like, what do you wanna say at the end just to close this out? And I I think I just, like, broke down. I just was just overwhelmed with, like, gratitude that this all worked out the way it did. Just looking back, I'm like, how the hell? So many things had to go right. I mean, I almost didn't make it on the show. Like, I I turned it down twice. They came back a third time Oh, really? To yeah. They they they reached out to me in April. They started filming October 1st. Okay. I turned it down in April. Well, it was certainly back up a second. So how did how did they find you to begin with? They recruit you on on all across social platforms. So LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook Messenger, they reached out, but a lot of stuff goes to junk. So I wasn't seeing it, plus I get crap all the time. Right. So then someone commented on my photo and was like, hey. Like, I messaged you. Like, reach out. I'm like, what the hell? I thought I and I don't watch reality TV. So I don't when he said love is I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. So I checked into it, talked to some friends who do watch reality TV. They're like, oh my god. You gotta do it. So, I they I told them no. And then later that night, I went out with some friends, and they and they brought the and once they told their wives, what happened? They came out, and they were, like, pressuring me. They were, like, circling, like, you gotta do this, like, dada. And, whatever. I decide to apply at least for fun. Right. And then they once they took it seriously, they're like, alright. Cool. We want you. I was like, I don't wanna do this. You thought if something resonated in your head, you're, uh-oh. It's sitting here, staring in your head, and then you got, like, probably the gist of it all. Yeah. And you're like, okay. Here's what's gonna happen. You're like, oh my god. What did I sign myself up for? Is one thing, and, like, it's just an experience on its own and going through a 3 hour interview and stuff. But then once you get to actually, like, this is real, you gotta say yes or no. Is it all what they what you expected when they broke it down to you and they told you verbatim what is gonna happen? Because I know how producers work. They tell you almost what you wanna hear and not exactly the whole thing, and then you get into it. You're like, oh, s**t. I didn't know that. No. I I don't so I'm very, like, type a. Like, I wanna know what we're taught like, they they they can't just tell me the premise and I'd show up happy day 1 and, like, let's rock and roll. I had too many questions. They were, like, pushing back. So I I did get a lot out of them going into it. I knew kind of what the structure would look like, so I wasn't really surprised by anything. What what did kind of, what I was impressed by was their they took a lot of care. Like, the, the the creator of the show, Chris Goulan, would come out every morning and, like, have, like, an hour long, you know, prep talk if you want. And, it was they seemed extremely genuine, everything, and it really got us bought into it. Like, this seems legit. And and the fact that they truly because I said, I was like, I don't ever wanna be told what to say, whatever. Like, I don't wanna be manipulated anyway. I will not do that. Right. And they promised me they wouldn't. And so I was really side eyeing it the whole way. And, yeah, they didn't really they they, like, give you suggestions and maybe you wanna talk about this or that, but they don't tell you what to say, what to do, how to respond. So I enjoyed that. When and, like, when they were talking you talking to you, I guess, about your dating life and your past dating life, were you, like, you know, I I guess, quote unquote, was my dating life sucks. I'm single. This is where I'm at. Like, what like, I'm I'm kind of open to anything at this point. Yeah. Or is that kinda, like, when they ask you? So so I'm, I'm very busy person. Right. I I work a full time job, and I own 2 business on the side. Like, I'm I'm I'm swamped all the time, and I'm very satisfied with that. Outside of that, I I spearfish a friend I spend time with friends and family. That's it. That was my life. I was fulfilled. But there was something past couple years, like, you know, you're gonna be 40 here. So, you know, I mean, I'm a 30 That's what I'm a right now. You still okay. You're 33 years old now. Single for six and a half years. Like, I put no effort into finding a person. Right. And I was living in a small town, Fredericksburg, like, bumping into, like, someone like Taylor in the supermarket in Fredericksburg, like, wasn't happening for me. Right. So I was just starting to get a little, like, concerned. I'm like, you're you're not you're missing, like, prime opportunity, like, me somebody here. And so if you wanna have kids. Yeah. I'm too far from DC anyway. So I mean, dating god. I I I didn't wanna I'm going back into that world again to you. I've been married. Oh, no. I've been with somebody for 10 years and and, you know, dating is it's it's s**tty because there's all these, like, situationships now. This is a new thing that I'm just learning. There's ghosting. Oh, dude. You know, it it also seems very superficial too. Like, the at least the initial part. Once you get into it and you start to meet somebody, you dive into a bit more and you get past a lot of that superficial wall. But upfront on the dating apps and stuff, I mean, it's it's what do you do? How much money do you make? How cool are you gonna make me look? Like, it's just dumb s**t. And were you at the point where you're like, you know, I've I've really nothing left to lose, you know, I mean, at this point. So why why not try something like this? Yeah. What I was what my main, like, objective in going into this wasn't I'm gonna get married. I had no hopes, like, of getting married. You thought something fun. Maybe something a little different. Yeah. I have really high standards on the personality side of things. So I'm like, this who's gonna go on a reality TV star probably isn't gonna match me on the personality level. Like, I don't think we're gonna be super compatible, but, I knew at the very least this could be, like, a catalyst for me in the dating world. It would awaken, like, my my interest again and, like, going out and doing this. And I think, like, I knew that this needed to happen for me regardless. You're stepping outside of the box. That's it. Yeah. And I'm and I'm actually starting to ask myself, what am I interested in? What do I like and not like when in a woman like? These are all questions that I ignored for so many years Right. That at least this would be the impetus for me going out afterwards even if nothing came out of it. And it's kinda it's it's a little scary because you're like, what do I like? Especially if you're a guy like you who's been busy and working so long. You gotta figure out quick. And and you're gonna be like, okay. What do I even like? Like, I don't even know. Are they gonna like me? Are they gonna be, are they gonna be able to adjust to my lifestyle? Because you you're not gonna stop what you're doing. Yeah. I mean right? Well, you have to. You have you have to adjust. That's the thing. And, like, anyone that went in saying, like, I'm not gonna change. You're gonna mold to my lifestyle. Like, you're not gonna make it. But unless unless you let them know ahead of time when you're on your date saying, hey. This is what I do. They're certainly things. Yeah. Businesses. I'm trying to grow my businesses. I had, like, one nonnegotiable. I was like, I'm gonna I'm I love to spearfish. I'm gonna continue to spearfish. Right. Like, I was willing to give up businesses or cut back on work here and there whatever I was willing to make adjustments and even move but when it came down to it like there wasn't a whole lot that this your partner ultimately shouldn't be asking to change your entire life for them vice versa like it shouldn't go that way but you will have to make adjustments but you have to be ready for that. You know? Like, you have to check yourself going in and all of a sudden they bring you this thing and you I didn't decide till 2 weeks. You know, they came back to me 2 weeks before it's time to film, and I'd already written this whole thing off. Right. And I'm like, I guess, you know, actually, this feels like fate knocking on my door. I'm gonna go. Well, now I gotta figure out a lot of things. You know? What what yeah. So, I mean, the entire plane ride, car ride, like, I'm just, like, extremely you could see the first 6 episodes. I'm, like, extremely serious because I'm trying to figure it out. Right. And I still don't really know what I want. Particularly, that's, like, people are going like, you didn't know what he wants when he went on, not at me, but I got a lot of other people. It's like, who the hell does? I don't wanna say you're you're in a on a TV show. This is you don't have the luxury of, first of all, seeing the damn person. Okay? You don't have the luxury of sitting down, having dinner. What do you like to do? What's your favorite color? It's fast. It's fast. It's a mission here. I mean, what what what We call it it, like, dating boot camp. Yeah. You know, it's it's it's it's quick. It's and and almost now that I think about it, now that it, like, I've gone on dates before and listen, like, I almost like this scenario, the setup because you have to figure out what you like and what you don't. And you don't have to go through the bulls**t of, do I gonna meet you this? And what do you like, your favorite color? And who what are your friends like? Like, you you can just bypass all that. Dating is way more performative than this was. Yeah. This was much more Interview. In the weeds. Well, let's figure it out. Yeah. But that's the thing too is, like, you also wanna try to have fun, see if you can have fun with this person. I remember with Taylor, like, one of our last dates, I said, I I I was like, hey. I we've been so serious about this whole thing. I don't even know if I can have fun with you. You know what I mean? Like, I am worried about this. Like, I sat down when I was like, what am I worried about with this person? And I was like, we haven't had, like, fun. Right. And and I'm That's what they saw. On the spot, but you you the intimacy too. How do you know if that's Well, right. Exactly. And we didn't wanna this thing is too everyone's different. Like, she definitely didn't wanna talk about that on camera, and I felt a little bit that way as well. So we agreed, like, we have to come up with something here because other girls are, like, wide open. Like, I like this, this, and this. And so you're also at risk of, like, if you're not being open or vulnerable with your partner in all the ways, someone else could come and grab them up. So we just wanted to still talk about that. So we agreed to do that in notes. So we, like, wrote notes to one other and passed. Oh, that's that's that's awesome. I like that way. That's probably the way I would have done it too just because there's some things you just wanna keep to yourself. At some point, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, Nick Dee said something about, like, keeping a brand and all that. Like, I I don't know about that, but I just I know that here here's the thing. I eventually will get married or wanted to get married at some point. I have a partner. Let's say it didn't work out with any of these people. I didn't want them to, like, watch that back over and see me, like, you know, being a slut or whatever, like, acting all freaking goofy on TV. You know what I mean? Like like, because the kind of person that I'd be into I don't know your background, but maybe Yeah. But, you know, I it's a little different. I think it's it's a permanent tattoo, this show. And so I want to take that into consideration and be, like, you know, I still like, this may just be a fling for me, and I don't want to look like an idiot on TV. I get you. I get you. Yeah. You probably already heard about how effective Ozempic and Weeb Gharvie are. You've also probably heard that they're also in shortage, but Ro makes it possible to access GLP ones and start your journey as soon as possible. Go to ro.co/realityhits. That's ro.c0/realityhits. 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And you can't, like there's just no bypassing it. Right? I mean, they have keys to our houses and stuff. They just come in. They actually become part of our families. And, dude, that's crazy because, like, every everybody this is the thing I've seen about reality TV is these people that watch it, it's almost as if they think that they live a perfect life, and and they they're coming at this from, like, this idealistic view. And everything you do is, like, they're super scrutinous about, like, oh, what an idiot. This and that. It's like Exactly. It it reminds me of that meme of, like, the the overweight dude sitting on the couch eating a bag of Cheetos watching the Olympics saying what an idiot. You know? That's what it's like. That's that's the best way to put it because I get I get critiqued all the time. And it's just kinda, like, well, then what do you like about them? Why watch the freaking show? You're gonna sit there and nitpick every little thing. I'm a human being. They don't want heroes. They don't want villains. Sit there with my fingers crossed and just be read the bible and be, like, this is not right. And then this and then what they say? You're boring. So you can't win in reality TV. Whether you're crazy, people are gonna say you're crazy. Whether you're boring, people are gonna say you're boring. You can't win. You gotta do it for you and you gotta enjoy yourself. And then, yeah, of course, make the right decisions. But I also do things that a lot of people say to me. They're like, you know, we love you because you have no filter and you're saying what other people are thinking and you're doing what other people are thinking. And I'm also a grown man. I'm a human. You know, I've gotten married. You know, things didn't work out. I'm going through divorce. I'm going through some mental health issues. Yeah. I'm being really open about it because me, personally, I can chose. I could've chose not to do that. I could've said, you know what? I'm not putting any of this on camera, but I didn't sign up for that. I signed up to be on a television show to show you my whole life, whether it was good or whether it's bad. I'm gonna put it all there. A lot of people don't do that. They'll sugarcoat a lot of things and they'll hide a lot of things. But in reality TV, especially the way world, the truth always comes out. No matter how hard you try to hide it, the truth will always come out. And that's one of the things I remember when I first started reality TV, they're like, you can lie all you want, but it's gonna come out. So I felt like, yeah, I don't, you know, I don't portray men very, very well on my show a a lot of the times. But Betray or represent? I guess I guess represent. I don't represent, you know, but it's just the way I am. And like I said, we're all different in this world. If we were all the same, this would be a boring f**king world. Okay? So there's gonna be all types of guys. And I'm hoping that, you know, people can see me and say, you know what? Okay. He made this decision or and I'm I'm glad he talked about that because I'm struggling with that. Yeah. You know? So But that's what I think. No. But you're gonna go through, like, a whole gamut of, like Yeah. Experiences, and some people are gonna relate to it. Some people are not. The one thing that I think I struggle with the most is I am very critical of myself, and I also I'm very open to criticism and critique. You have to be fair. To me. You have to be from, like, a fair audience, though. This is the problem. There's no such thing as a fair audience. It's like there's there's no depth. Everything is taken at surface level Yes. And or someone is really taking, like, something you said. And if it triggers some past experience of theirs, like, they were with a guy who who lied to them constantly or something. And if they see something that smells a little off, they're like, he's a lying piece of s**t. And it's like, hold on a second. It's a lot more deep. My situation is a lot different than yours. I promise you. Right. I have no other examples of there being any sort of, like, malplay. You know, it's like this it just it feels it's like I I'm really open to having conversation and understanding people's perspectives and opinions. But I'm like, I'm I'm struggling because there's too many people out there. I want to address everybody. Like, I get lots of comments and DMs. Majority overwhelming majority. I got very lucky. The overwhelming majority are very positive. Right. However, there are quite a few negative ones. I didn't like I said this or didn't like this. And I'm such an idiot that I am like, I wanna let's engage. Right. I I think you're misunderstanding and miss but, like, the problem is the majority of them don't wanna understand. They just wanna be entertained. Wanna be entertained. They just wanna be heard. They they their keyboard warriors are in their parents' basement. They got 5 followers. I love that. Let me I I my life didn't turn out the way I wanted. Yeah. So I'm gonna watch reality shows, and I'm gonna dig at other people. That's that's what they do. They're keyboard warriors. But there are some people that do wanna understand, and I think that, like, the Internet and social media is not a great conduit for that. This is a better conduit to be able to explain, like, this scenario happened. Understand why some people were rubbed the wrong way. Right. Here's where I came from. Yes. I could've handled this better, that better. And that's the dialogue, and I love that. I'd love to do that. Like, let's talk about this. But, unfortunately, it's a little different story. One of the main reasons I started this podcast, sorry for many reasons, but one of the main reasons so I can bring people like you, yourself in there, and also like myself and explain situations on reality TV. Because people don't understand a reality show is filmed months months months. Right? And they have to cut it down Yeah. Because, well, there's commercials. There's just not enough time. And for my situation, we have cast members. We have, you know, between, you know, 5 and 8 cast members. Think and there's only so much time. You can only put so many clips of everybody else. Right? So I could have a huge argument, a huge blow up. Right? And it can go on for, you know, an hour. And but people will be like, oh my god. Jax, you're an a*****e because they only show the part where I go I'm at my top, where I'm at my breaking point, where I'm screaming and yelling. They're like, well, Jax, you're an a*****e. You did this well. Wait a minute. You blew up over this little thing. It's like, no. Started, though. You didn't see how the fight started because there's not that much time, and it's not that entertaining when I'm being reasonable for me. And, you know, because I built this up. It's gotta be entertaining. Nobody wants to hear me being calm. They wanna see me going crazy. Right? So they only cut to the part where I'm nuts, and they don't see how it started Yeah. And how it ended. They just assume that I'm crazy. Yeah. That that part is always been, like, a little, for me. Context and nuance are boring, and they gotta it's gotta be fun. Be entertained. They work all day. Yeah. Right? They hate their jobs or they're miserable with Don't make me understand a difficult situation. Just give me the flavor. Just just come home from work, grab a bottle of wine, sit at the top tomatoes. And just watch messy TV. You know what? I wouldn't even be like, I wouldn't have any issue with that if they didn't then go and lash out these people and treat them like they weren't just caricatures on a TV. Right. This is entertainment. This is not always truly representative of the people behind the screen. So don't then log online and start to bash them and call them, like, racist or whatever sort of things you wanna project onto them. Know what's gonna happen? People are gonna be so scared so scared to go on reality TV. They're gonna sit there and twiddle their thumbs, and then Oh, then you're gonna be a more fake voice. Gonna be like, okay. We did this we need some more here. And then you give them a little more. Yeah. It's like you almost get in trouble for giving them what they want. You're afraid to say anything. You know? Yeah. It is. And I I've kind of, you know, the old me that existed 10 years ago really doesn't exist much anymore. I have to be very careful how I navigate this. Who is who they were 10 years ago? I mean, you're right. You're right. Yeah. But I'm the type of person that doesn't have much of a filter, and I need as I get older, now that I'm a father, I gotta filter this out. Well, that's the thing too that I've learned more about. And that, this is what I'm dealing with right now is, like, okay. Now we're in the public light. We've been in the public light for a month. So now my words, actions, and and anything that I portray publicly is a reflection of independent like, affects my wife and my marriage. And so this is a new thing we're navigating. It's it's it's something, you know, like, a completely benign conversation on the street would have never carried weight before. Now it could. Now it could really, like, you know, be detrimental if it was, like like, someone goes. So you have to be very careful. And The Internet never goes away. No. Alright. Well, that's true too. Everything is permanent. Everything lives. Yeah. So And I'm fine, but that's what we open ourselves up to. But, you know, I just wish people were more understanding. Yeah. Me too. Alright. So tell me, in the exact moment meeting Taylor for the first time, what did you feel? I can't I really to be honest, I can't even You won't can't even imagine this. Be able to. No. It's impossible. I'm personally a way too super superficial for, you know, a show like this because if a girl walked in and there was absolutely no physical attraction, no chemistry right off the bat, I'd be gone. But that's just me. Yeah. Well, I think that, like, the whole Love is Blind premise is is is not what it sounds like on face value. What it sounds like is, like, it doesn't matter what they look like. I I always said in interviews and maybe they just chose not to show this, but I always said it does matter. Like, I know it matters. I don't care what everybody says. You have to have an interview. Sort of like, body chemistry is is not something you control. Right. You liking someone attractive physically Right. Is a chemical reaction. You don't control this. Right. However, what I think the Love is Blind concept does is it takes 2 people that probably wouldn't have gotten past that initial barrier. Right. And it brings them together and gets past all superficial bulls**t. And you get to form a relationship before you start to make judgments about their appearance and whatnot. Like, I I wasn't Taylor's type. She made it very clear on the show. And shortly after that, in the same breath, she said, but I find him to be, like, the sexiest man alive now. So almost you almost by the time you meet them, you can almost put that even though a a physical attraction is usually number 1, can almost put that as number 2 or 3 because you know what? You had a good meeting with them. Everything was going well. Okay. Maybe I can look past the the superficial looks for a second because we could probably work on that or whatever. But, yeah, that's I guess that's kind of the point of all this to see if people can really get past the superficialness. Yeah. And and if they may not be perfectly your type, you know, can you is that relationship strong enough? Is that bond that mental emotional bond strong enough to get past some of these other things that would have been challenges in a real world physically? And that's ultimately, I think, what it is. It gets you over that curve a little bit. But, ultimately, if you if you're just not attracted to them dead flat and whether they're not your type is different than not being attracted to them Yeah. That's that's probably not gonna work out. Right. When Reality Hits is sponsored by Quince. Now all you guys know I love Quince. I've been talking about Quince for months. They have the most amazing t shirts, and now they have these cashmere sweaters that are so warm. And let's be honest, guys, the holidays are around the corner. And if you wanna get your man something special, check out the Quince t shirts and the cashmere sweaters. They are absolutely amazing. It's all I wear. 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Let me talk for a second. I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you. So let's talk about it for a second because I know your recent, quote, unquote, glow up has gone absolutely viral. Yeah. Okay. There's been a ton of speculation out there for fans wondering, is this your wife's doing? Hold on. And I think, you know, I think the fans are calling it the the Taylor effect. Is that what you're saying now? It's like it's a it's a Taylor Swift reference, I think. I don't know. You know, let me let me hear from you. You know, what inspired the long hair? Yeah. You know, you know, the sharper fashion. You know, give it give it to the girls. They wanna know. Can they change their man or whatever? Like, what happened here? Yeah. Taylor Taylor, if she was sitting next to me, she'd be like, no. No. This is all him, which, you know so I'm really lucky to have her because she does not say a word to me about my fashion. She hardly even gives me advice if I ask her. Everything I bring to her, she's like, that looks great, sweetheart. Yeah. Like, she doesn't care. I'm sure she appreciates that I'd, like, take more appreciation for my appearance now, but she she wouldn't have told me otherwise. I mean, it's it's been it's been awesome to have Taylor in my corner while I, like, start to experiment more with my aesthetic. I didn't before because I was a very I'm a physicist, spearfisherman, family guy. Like, I just I lived in that circle. I never went out. And so it didn't really matter what I looked like. I always had appreciation for textiles. I went through, like, a denim head phase and, like, I'm I'm very technical and so I appreciate technical textiles. Or I could talk to your ear about corduroy, shashiko fabric, denim, whatever you'd like for an hour here. Right. But that was it. That was I never put together into an aesthetic sound. It doesn't matter. And you're living for change time. And you're you're Exactly. I'm living in a small town. I don't You know? I'm not out in love. People Yeah. But now I'm with this extremely fashionable person who's got a a wonderful aesthetic that, like, women aspire to. And I'm like, alright. I gotta level up here. You know? Because I do know what it feels like to dress up, and your partner's, like, dressed down. And you're like, man, you know, you have to to match there. So she's definitely not explicitly, but she's inspired me indirectly to match her energy when it comes to, like, fashion and and aesthetics. Especially now that you're doing these touring and you're on television show. Fun. It is fun. It's fun to dress up. It's like it's just this extra thing. It's a whole other thing. Like, you you take care of yourself. You learn a little bit more about a skin routine. Like, just just sell all kinds of things. You know? We did so many skin routine dates. Yeah. Going on these interviews, looking good. You know, you gotta be careful how many beers you drink the night before. I mean, things like that. No. I've always been into to health and all that stuff. So it's just a natural transition. Like, alright. Let's care about the aesthetic a little bit more. But I get you. So another viral moment happened while you and Taylor were in the pods together talking. Yeah. Something that became quite sensitive amongst the fan base. You got a lot of hate for this when you had asked Taylor what her ethnicity was and she refused to tell you. You got very upset and said she was calculated. Yeah. Yeah. Again, you got a ton you got a ton of heat. And I I don't wanna bring this up, but you were you were even called the the r word. We'll leave it at that. Oh, yeah. And, just tell me your thoughts on that and and, you know, I want you to have the chance to, you know, let people hear again, this is why I do podcast. No. I agree. Hear directly from you on what what that meant and why you did that. Now just talking to you alone, I could tell that's not where you were. You were just you're doing your due diligence and you're finding out, okay, what's the steps here? You're asking all the right questions. And Yeah. You know, ethnicity, it it does play a huge role, you know, like, because there's religion and, like, it's something that you get into. Yeah. I I and I I may am frustrated, like, with with kind of how that came out of how that one I mean, I still get it to this day. Like, I get hate from this. So it's extremely stressful. I wanted to talk about the reunion, but it was, like, kind of just, like, okay, let's leave it positive, whatever. But I was really dying to talk about, to be honest. My the whole thing first of all, like, I completely understand where people are coming from, and that's that's what hurt me the most was I watched it back, and I see how people perceived it that way. I totally get it. And some people are like, you you're not like that. And, like, Taylor's like immediately, like, you didn't even say that in response to that, which, I mean, yeah, it was like a it was a little, like, choppy, but we'll just leave it at that. Taylor and I talked about ethnicity days before. This this ethnicity date was, I think, day 7 Uh-huh. Way down the line. We had already, like, committed to each other. We talked about ethnicity before and said we're not gonna talk about how we look at all. It was all done. The problem is you start to get into this the situation where and and I use the word Taylor, if you watch her now, she's very careful and thoughtful that she chooses her words very carefully. And she is, like, very, like, she considers the the word she that comes out of her mouth. And it's slow. And it's and she also wasn't really opening up early on. And other women are, like, throwing themselves at you and telling opening up telling you Deep is Target Secrets day 1. Right. And Taylor was not. Right. She's very different than all the other girls and I loved that about her. Also, at the same time, you're getting more and more it like, you're actually falling in love with this person. You're becoming extremely vulnerable. Everything feels scripted because we got these magic tattoos. Like, we picked the same song in the pod. You pick, like, 5 songs. You pick the same one. Like, it's there was a lot of other little things. I wrote down, like, so many different, like, weird serendipitous things that you start to just become extremely vulnerable with this person, and you're like, is this scripted? Like, what's who is that over there? What's going on? You know? And so I told I said before to that I need her to open up more. She feels guarded, and she even asked me not to use that word. And she mentioned this in an interview. And so by day 7, when she had this, she like, I she said the, we're talking about her parents, and she mentioned, oh, I'm not gonna tell you my mom's name. And later on, I now understand why she didn't wanna reveal her ethnicity beyond just the looks thing Because even your ethnicity it narrows it down, but it doesn't tell you how you look. But I understood where she's coming from afterwards, but at first, I'm very, like, what what what why why are you so careful here? Like, I was just it was frustration that came out, and I think, like, an hour later I said the calculated comment because we we we moved off of it and then we returned to it because she was like, I feel something in you and I, like, we talked about it. I was like, I just I'm worried. Like, I don't know what to expect. Like, who is this person? And it's a very strange feeling and it's really hard to replicate, like, what everyone's going through individually in those pods. I can't even imagine. Like, I I I watched It's crazy. I can't even imagine, like, the the emotions and and it's I'm kinda going off into a little thing because I'm really big into mental health. And I've taken a big big toll this year on my mental health and I've gotten some help and everything like that. So I mean, what did you do during the season? Like I said, I don't know your your mental health background, but what did you do during this season to protect your mental health? Because I'm sure that it was taking a little bit of a toll. Yeah. I think it it would take a toll for anybody, not just you personally, but how did you protect your mental health? Yeah. Because I'm sure, you know, going through that, it wasn't easy for you. Because you go to these pods and then you come back and you talk to these other guys and you're getting different, you know, different scenarios from them. And did you have to, like, check yourself at night and be like, okay. Because I'm sure your brain was just going like this. You're you're you're locked into this person. You you and me. So Taylor and I were the only ones that are not, like so Taylor and I stayed locked in throughout the whole thing as in, like, we'd get up in the morning. Yeah. And, typically, I got up before I would start work. When she got up, I'd make her coffee, and we would just, like, sink for, like, 20 minutes. And how are you feeling today? Like, what's going on through your throughout your day? And then we'd we'd move into the rest of our day. I'd go to the gym every day at, like, 1 o'clock, and then I'd get off work at, like, 5:30 or so, and we would immediately start filming. We'd film till 10 o'clock at night or whatever, and then Tal and I would sync for, like, another hour to 2 hours every night before bed. And that was my routine Uh-huh. Every single day throughout this entire experiment. Except for the weekends, obviously, like, working less. But see it's structure structure structure. Time bending structure and the gym and staying in in sync with my person. I feel for the people that didn't have someone like Taylor where their partner and them are not in sync. I couldn't imagine how much more frustrating this whole experiment would have been if Taylor and I weren't so connected throughout the entire day. And there was guys like that going through that. Yeah. 100%. You could see it and feel it, and they would go they went out with their friends and stuff to, like, get a reprieve. And, like, I didn't need that. I felt connected to Taylor, and that's all I cared about. I gotta I gotta figure out if I'm gonna say yes or no in 3 weeks here. Like, I have 2 weeks, 1 week. I needed to stay locked in. I need to feel good about Right. About this person on a really deep level, and so that's all that I cared about. Work, workout, structure. That's for me. I have to have it. So I don't have structure in my life. I'm off the rails. Yeah. Like, I go as far as, like, getting up in the morning, making my bed, having my cup of coffee. Yeah. It's gotta be. Emails. If I if I derail even just missing making my bed feels weird. You're off. You're like I'm off for the whole day. Yeah. Like, there's there's certain guys that need that structure. And it well, like I said, once we're off that, I think it's maybe just because of just how we grew up and how our structure was and, you know, just just, you know, my way of life. I just thrive on structure. When Reality Hits is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep. While you're listening to us talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you could save money by doing it right from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 247, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at progressive.com to join the over 28,000,000 drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National averaged 12 month savings of $7.44 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. When you saw these other guys, did you see them did some of these guys break down? Did they ever get, like, emotional? Did they ever get to them? Like because a lot of these guys I've watched, and you seem like these are manly guys, like, guys that you can't be broken. But then when they go through something like this, they let their guard down. And sometimes they forget that the camera's there. And do you see, like do you have to sit them aside and be like, you know, this is just a this is just a game. This is just a a I freaking broke down, like, day 3, I think, because I hadn't talked about my emotions and feelings and what I love and what I love. This is a huge deal. Going on, man. Don't talk about their emotions because we weren't brought up that way. No. We are not. We're supposed to carry everything on our back and deal with the world. And I think between the last, like I said, 5 to 8 years, it's been accepted now that men need to talk about this stuff. So that's great that you did that. Yeah. It's it it was we get caught talking about, like, they're putting something in the water here, man. Like, estrogen or something. Like, we're freaking out. Like, Tyler, you saw he cried a lot, but he wasn't the only one. They just grabbed him on camera doing a lot. Like, a lot of the guys were like, what's happening? You know? And I know myself. Like, I hadn't been on I went on more dates in that first day than I did in the past 6 and a half days. That's probably a lot to do with it because you guys are getting just hammered by girls. Yeah. You know, mentally, physically not physically. Mentally and emotionally. You know? I mean, you're getting drilled here with questions that usually take months to get find out. Yeah. Right. You're getting all these questions right at once, and then you're like, wait a minute. Am I a good person? Am I a bad person? You start questioning things. That's where my head was. It's questions about fam like, my family and stuff. Like, it's very important to me, and there's deep stuff in my family that, like, I don't talk about with people. And I didn't wanna talk about on camera. And if you did, it would be Everybody's asking you. Months down the line. But it's like working out. You know? When you're there, it sucks. But when you leave the gym, you're like, man, I feel great. Okay. I feel good. Yeah. And then do you, like, you went back and did you go back in your head and be like, okay. Did I answer that right? Did you go did you kind of recalculate? Like, did I do that right? Did I say that right? This because sometimes you go to bed. Forget that you're on TV sometimes? Did you ever have that? Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. By by the 3rd day, you don't even notice the cameras in your face. Yeah. Like, you know what that feeling is like. Oh, I don't even know. After 12 years, I don't know. We've been out of the the camera space for a long time. And now coming back to it, like, now I'm, like, a little still nervous, but, you know, you start to snap back into it. And once you start talking, it's fine. And you forget about it. But sometimes Dude. Like, after the day's done wrapping, I'll go back in my head. I'm like You can't sleep. Did I say this? Did I mean to say that? How is that gonna be? I'm sitting on TV. Well, yeah. And and the thing is, like, when you're in the pods, you're working towards an end. Like, you you have to get to the end of this. Mhmm. And you're trying to make a decision. Like, something important is happening. It's not just, like, life goes on and, like, you know, whatever. They're not just filming my life and, like like, things happen. We're trying to get to an end goal somewhere. So for you, you know, it's at the end of the day, when you go home, you just filmed for 14, 16 hours, whatever it was. You stayed for night dating. You lay down the hotel room. It's the first moment you've had to yourself, and you're laying in bed. You're just, like, just mind racing for hours. I slept 2, 3, 4 hours some nights. Like, it was it was like then you go in the next day and people like, why did you say this? Why did you say calculated? Yeah. Why did you why did you look stressed out when she wouldn't tell your last name? It's like, you're not sleeping. I know. I said I I've only dated white girls. My first girlfriend was let Latina. Like, it's like you don't you don't remember what's going you're like, you're just you're you're getting through it. Taylor kept saying too. She's like, once I get some sleep, like, it's over for these. I was like, she was sleep deprived as well, and we made a conscious decision one night. We're not staying for night dating. And it's a risk because you don't know if, you know, you you go home, and the girl you're you're really hoping to to fall in love with, she stays for night dating and she dates this other guy, they get more time. And it's later, and you're a little bit more vulnerable and you maybe you've been drinking. And so, like, you're and so you decide to stay. And everyone's really, like, just, like, pushing themselves. Yeah. The producers don't force you doing this stuff, but you push yourself because you're worried about, I wanna connect with this person. Ultimately, yeah, you just don't sleep. And you you know what it's like when you don't sleep. No. And I've had multiple version of yourself. I've had multiple episodes multi more time more times than not where, like, I'm stressing about what I said. Because not only did I do these things, I'm gonna have to live it again when it airs. Yeah. So Oh, yeah. Like, because now I've been watching some some episodes. I probably had the worst season of my entire life of filming reality TV this year. Oh, okay. Everything's going on with my mental health. Gotta be tough. Yeah. And it's tough. And I'm I'm like, you know, we're a month we're we're 4 months away. We're 3 months away. We're 2 and it's just like, oh, I'm just getting through. Of it, but, like, I can tell I can tell from energy, like, this s**t's waiting on you a whole lot. You know? And like I said, I'm an open book, and I kind of don't really have a filter. And I don't really and I think that's kind of why I've been doing this for so long because you kinda just, you know, you get what you see. You see what you get with me. Yeah. It's just yeah. It it can get you in trouble, but at the same time, I feel like I'm hoping that I I can help somebody out there. So so okay. This is a bit kind of a 2 part question here. So even though you and Taylor were definitely amongst one of the more solid couples through the season, you still have some difficult moments. Yeah. So while you're both walking up to the Gatsby party, it has discovered that you received a DM from your ex. Yeah. Okay. This is gonna be tough. Sorry. And Taylor is rightfully so, not happy. Yeah. I think any girl would probably lose it and found out an x message, especially so close to the wedding and under the crazy circumstances. Do you want me to stop or do you wanna keep going? No. Yeah. But so, Taylor first of all, it was a text message, and we went through every day of this experience, like, sharing everything. Right. And this was a moment, like, the first moment where I didn't, like, I wasn't extremely upfront with her, and and I didn't bring this to her right away. So I got this text message early in the morning. This ex didn't know I was I I was in this relationship. Like, nobody knew I went on the show, obviously. Right. Right. She doesn't know the context. Okay. So that's that's that's okay. People need to know that. Well, yeah. Knew you were there and she got this message. And and it was it was completely benign. It was, like, a video of her niece. Right? But her niece, like, wanna be a national since she was a kid, so it's kinda something related to. So she just sent me a video of the niece. It was Halloween and was like, you're welcome. And so, like, I didn't think it was a big deal at all because I'm an I'm a dummy, and it's been 6 to 5 years in a better relationship. And I don't I don't tell and I haven't talked about this scenario where netx reaches out. So I my first mistake and the biggest mistake was not bringing to her right away and being like, look, my tech my ex tested me like it's benign. Like, I'm not and and work through that. How long did you wait until you told her that? That night? So, you know, as I just told you, my days were like message on on the morning? Morning. And I wake up before her. And it's the same day. Well, in this experiment, a day feels like a week, a month. So I'm with you. But I it's I still should have I I definitely shouldn't have brought it to her. Like, it feels that night we didn't film. Right. Maybe we let's talk about it at night. But we had a whole party, a cast reunion party. And we're flying to San Diego the next day to see her parents, like, to ask her father if I can marry her. Like, this is huge. And to any little like, you have to trust your partner and lean into them so much in this experiment that any perceived, like, dishonesty or omission will feel like you're the whole world is collapsing. You know, you're walking as tight rope to to to the aisle, and you have to stay on there solid. I think this is a like, I don't have a leg to stand on on any of this, but I'm just looking from the outsider. I think the critical mistake that you made is you downplayed the text. I think, like, most guys would probably Well, it was an accident. So, like, people are like, he lied. He lied to her. And it's like Yeah. Because you only told Taylor Taylor would have never, quote, liked it. She would have never married me if she thought I lied to her. I didn't lie to her. I acted so, like, people, like, people don't believe me. That's fine. Whatever. I don't give a s**t. Taylor does. It's all good. But, like, I I when I brought up to her later, it was way too casual. And I was like, oh, by the because actually we were sitting there waiting to go into the party, and I took a picture of her hands holding onto a drink. And I was like, oh, look. Soft launched Instagram. Put it on my story. And I was like and that's when it clicked. I was like, oh, that's right, babe. I forgot to tell you about this thing that happened this morning. Because I was like, yeah. We'll put, you know, kind of finally soft launching. People will now know that I'm with another woman, and that's what clicked for me. And so I told her my ex reached out and texted me. And I thought I'd really, I didn't think anything of it because I'm a total idiot, and she was like, all of a sudden I saw how I reacted. What you do would do. And I think you were also I I'm kinda playing devil's advocate here a little bit. But I Beat me up. I don't care. This is You know, no. I think it's it's the only issue that I have. And, again, I've done this before. And I think because you had so much going on, I think, again, your head is going all over the place. Why lie when you know you're being filmed? That's Well, that's I've and I've never lied. And, like, I've you can ask Taylor sitting right next to me now. Have I ever lied to her even since that day? No. Right. But I didn't lie to her that day either. I truly did not remember whether I responded or not. Can I ask what you're saying about it? Stupid. Yeah. I just said, it was like it was like, this is funny or something like that. Right? Right. And that was it. And then we move on. And then that night when I like, we talked about it, she was like, why didn't you shut it down? And I was like, shut it down. Oh, so we talked about it. Like, yes. Oh, let's let's close the door. Yes. This makes total sense. It's easy. Right. So I did in that moment, and that's where they called on cameras. Like, I said that I responded and said I'm in a relationship blah blah. I texted that after I brought it up to her while we're waiting to go in. And so we're going in, and Taylor, at this point, had only thought that I just liked the message and didn't, like, say something back. Right. And so and I and I didn't know that I didn't tell her this. And so when I'm rehashing this argument to Tyler and Ashley, it comes out, and that's when she's like, wait. I thought you said you you just liked it. I was like, did I? Is that what I said? Like, I don't I couldn't remember what I even told her. Did, I mean, how did you get past it? Like, how did, it was easy. Like, we we went back. I mean, I showed her my phone. Like, here's what happened. I don't I have nothing to hide. That's what it showed in the preview. I was like, I'm not hiding anything. Here's my phone. Here's what I said. Here's the relationship. Like, this is nothing. And we move past it the next day. There's clearly wasn't anything. But in that moment, when there's so much going on, again, you feel like your world is crashing that. Any sort of scratch on the surface can can spiral into, you know, something that's this I mean, if if I was lying, if I was admitting, I could would've totally understood her saying, let's let's not go forward. Okay. I I just I just gotta we're we're wrapping up here, but I just gotta I gotta discuss for a second. I think, you know, I mean, you're a freaking physicist. You may be probably one of the smartest people I've ever sat next to because I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie to you right now. We do have any physicists on Vanderpump Rules. You wanna know where you wanna know what a quantum computer is. No. I'm just kidding. Honestly, I I no. I'm not gonna try to a different language. Yeah. My buddy Jason's a lawyer, but that's as much as, we got. So, I mean, that's that's pretty impressive. So I got some questions to ask you really quick, and then we'll wrap this up. Yeah. School. So this is, like, fun a ton of fan questions that were coming through. Cool. Cool. We don't have that much time left, so I'll give you a few. So Let's see here. You just use the short answers real quick. Are you still planning to move to San Diego? So we we're taking our first step to DC, and we're gonna see where it takes us from there. We we talked about it. We may very much end up in San Diego, but we never gave a timeline for that. And spending a ton of time in San Diego, we're like, it's probably too big of a jump right now. Let's go to DC. Okay. How are you navigating being in such a public relationship? I'm still learning. So if they have tips, send them my way. We're still figuring it out. I think everybody is. Do you honestly not know the how do you really feel about Nick? Was he just in it for the fame? I don't know what inspired Nick to go on the show. Okay. I don't know. And and maybe that looks like it's been called into question, and I can't speak for that. However, every time I spoke with him, once he was in experiment, he off camera, which would be he's not afraid of saying whatever he wants to say off camera. He was very genuine and told me he loved her and told me he was into it and wanted to marry her. And I got I have I have nothing else to go off of but to believe him. And then watching back the episodes, I kinda feel the same way. So Okay. How would you sum up your experience on Love is Blind in 3 words? That's a tough one. Yeah. It's like this is the only 2. Can I ask you, would you do this again? Just this is my question. No. Hell no. No. I mean and I wouldn't want to. Like, I found my person. I found what I went there for. So If you didn't find your person, would you do it again? No. No. No. There's no way. There there was a 1 in a 1,000,000,000 chance that that someone like Taylor was on the other side of that wall. Yeah. And I got I lucked out. Well, man. Hey. Listen. So I appreciate you so much for being here, man. This is a really, really, you know, cool experience. Thanks for having me on, man. I appreciate it. I I like I said, I I I could I could never do this, man. And I give you props for doing it just emotionally and mentally. I just don't think I can do it, you know. So if you wanna check out Garrett and give his glow up and, of course, keep up to date with him and his lovely wife, Taylor, be sure to follow him on Instagram atgarrettdot josemans, and all the episodes are out on Netflix if you want to binge them. Thanks for having me on, man. I appreciate it. Appreciate you opening up your audience and, give me a chance to talk. No problem, man. Well, thanks so much for being here. Good luck on the rest of your tour. And that's it for when reality hits you guys next week.