Superfan Giovanni (The Adam & Dr. Drew Show Classic)

Transcript

Oh, it's smooth. Smooth like this or this or even this. But what could possibly be as smooth as that? Virgin Media's ninety nine point nine percent broadband reliability, of course. Seriously smooth. Suddenly Virgin Media hits playtime. Subject to location availability, broadband reliability, see virginmedia.IE/proof. Welcome to the s**t show. Things are going to get weird. Get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale Lower. Kale Lower. And you're listening to Barely Famous. Alright. Kate and Ty, welcome to the Barely Famous Podcast. Hi. Thank you. I should say Kate and Ty break break it down. Welcome to the bonus podcast. Okay. Drop it. Throw it out there. For those of you guys who don't know, Kate and Ty just dropped their own podcast. Super excited. Yeah. Super excited. How did it go yesterday? Tell me in your own words. I thought it was great. I mean, it was like It was fine. Yeah. It was a fun time, but we felt good about it. I was at the airport getting, like, live updates, and I was like, how did it go? Like, I just wanted to hear because I couldn't be here. Yeah. And everyone was like, it was so good. They were all super excited. And I told them, I said, don't blow smoke on my a*s. Better tell me when I'm messing up. Better tell me when you don't know. We will definitely tell you. But, honestly, like, podcasting is so fun because I feel like we just get, like listeners get a longer glimpse into who you guys are as people because %. Obviously, it's a longer episode than what we get on. And we have a little more freedom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was nice to just, like, jump in and go full force Yeah. Instead of just dipping our toes wet into little things. It was we came here and it was, like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And this is better because the people we're talking to, it's like, we don't really know we we purposely don't wanna know too much about them. I just wanna, like, I wanna really, like, make it authentic. I wanna feel real. I want it to feel just like you're chilling with us. Yeah. Me and I talking, like, normally. I don't want to be, like, really, like, you know, news reporter or anything like that. I'll show them in pajamas. I don't give a s**t. I'm gonna eat snacks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. You know, but what's cool about podcasting too is that, like, people know who Kate and Ty are. Right? Yeah. People don't necessarily know who your guests are or maybe they have a smaller platform. And what's cool is that brings out new things about you guys that you're able to say because it opens a conversation more. And so maybe things that didn't get to air on T Bomb, you'll be able to say or maybe something that someone else says will trigger something that happened with you guys. Right? Oh, yeah. I think that's, like, trigger a memory, I mean, not trigger you. Yeah. No. I don't hate you. No one triggers you, but it doesn't We're easily triggered. No. I mean, I am, but No. No. You didn't hear anything. When this but I mean, I honestly feel like, people have been writing us for, like, years, and we're just like, yeah. You know? Alright. But but I feel like after a while, I was like, alright. Clearly, this is something that people wanna hear about. And I also feel like to kinda go off what you said about you get to see, no, through our perspective, not necessarily through MTV's perspective where I see mom's little clip of it's like now you get to really dive deep into, like, what our whole journey's been like, which I feel like people have a good idea, but not, like, the nitty gritty details and what happens behind, you know, the scenes and stuff. And, like, this just gives us an opportunity to kinda just get right in there. And also too, like, when stuff is aired about us, we can go into the facts and Yeah. This is what happened behind the scenes that the cameras didn't air or they didn't catch. And, yeah, we can just kind of explain it more in more detail. More freedom because, honestly, with with with team Mau always changing, it's, like, less and less, you know, screen time, more stuff you're sharing with other you know, you don't you only now you only get, what, five minutes maybe? Right. What is the structure of teen mom next chapter? Because I haven't I left two years ago. Mean the structure? What do you mean? So what so what is the so is it the same sort of structure as teen mom and teen mom, like teen mom OG and teen mom two, but now it's blended together and you guys all have a couple minutes each? Well, no. It depends on if you make it in episodes or not. Yeah. Uh-huh. Got it. So you're not in every you guys might not be in every episode. Right. Right. Got it. Okay. Because now there's, what, eight eight cast members. Under nine? Yeah. So now So we have you guys. Uh-huh. Macy. Yep. Leah. Yeah. Mhmm. Amber. Yep. Amber. Oh, now you're gonna f**k her all up. Oh, sorry. Who else? Oh, Mackenzie? Mhmm. Ashley? Oh. Yeah. And then Oh. That's it. Right? Feel like, Jay and Jay. Oh, Jay and Jay and s**t. There's nine people on the show. Yeah. Wow. So we were like, okay. This is the time. Fans have been asking for it for years. Right. Star podcast. We wanna hear about adoption and trauma and addiction, all this other stuff. Well, so I always, always, always related to you guys specifically on the addiction stuff because I felt like when your season of sixteen and pregnant aired, like, the very first one episode shows Yeah. You guys were the only ones that really sort of shared the same background, I guess, as me with I don't whose parent your dad was an addict. Right? My mom was. And your mom. Mhmm. My mom too. So I felt like you were the only ones that I really resonated with in that way. I don't think that there are a lot of, cast members on the show as as a whole, like, in the franchise. I really struggled with that, and so I I feel like I always resonated with your story because of that. But I wish we talked more about it. Yeah. That's what I mean because didn't it shape everything who you were? I don't think people understand that. Entire life to this day is affected by addiction. Yeah. And And how you're raised. Yeah. So And so it's really interesting that, you know, we have that in common. I feel like I always resonated with your No. It's funny. I actually just someone just saw a clip. I just saw a clip of when you first met your dad with Chase House. Oh my god. Me and Kate, I was like, dude, that was, like, my dad. Like, that's I hate our I was like, that's kinda like hard to hear me. I'm like, yo. You're like, what'd you say? You're like, is this how your house always looks? I was just floored. Yeah. Because I was like, what is happening? Because I have this fantasy in my head my entire life that my dad was like this knight in shining armor that was gonna come save me when I was, like, whatever age, he's gonna come. He's gonna find me, and he's gonna take me away from all the problems only to find out that, like Damn. He has a lot of problems too. Right? Yeah. And also a lot of missing teeth. So I was just like, what's going on? No. But I saw the clip, and I was like, dude, that is literally, like, our lives. That's what we were raising. Like, so it's funny that you went there, like, woah. What the hell? What is your relationship with, like, with what is your relationship like with your parents now? I mean, my dad is in Texas still. He's That's where my dad is. Okay. Holy s**t. Okay. But yeah. So he's in Texas. He's, after I got him to go to rehab in Texas, he just stayed down there. But is he sober? As I know of. I don't I can't con I don't think he's I don't think he's completely sober. I think he may dip and dabble here and there. But also we don't talk to him enough. Why? You know? Why don't you guys talk? I just felt like for my own mental health. I was like, listen. Like, I need to kinda create some parameters in Some boundaries? A little bit of boundaries, like so I'll I always reach out to him at least once about and say, hey. Because I I think it's important for me to say, hey. I love you. I'm thinking about you today or whatever it is. It doesn't mean I need to see you or you need to come in my life or or anything like that, but I wanna make sure that I don't have any regrets, you know, from from from from me, you know, my, reaching out or whatever. Just like peace of mind for yourself. For myself. And so I felt like one once I realized that he was probably not sober, I was like, that's when I was like, alright. You're dipping and dabbling again. I got my own kids now, and I just feel like it's safe. A personal choice on your end. Yeah. Not necessarily because he wasn't reaching out. Or does he not reach out? He doesn't. He doesn't. He's starting to last, like, year. Yeah. I have to say he started reaching out more. He has a girlfriend that is down there that you know, it's a whole another story, but she don't really like me. Really? Yeah. She's, yeah. She don't like me. But it's fine. Hey. It's it's alright. I she actually, thinks that I use my dad as, like, a, you know, story or, like, oh, you use your dad as, like, a Yeah. I'm here to say absolutely the f**k not, but here's the thing. We didn't ask to f**king be here. And if you traumatized me for my whole f**king life, I am gonna talk about you. And then and then I have and then I have a camera for all my story. I'm like, dude. I'm gonna talk about it. You traumatized me. I deserve to talk about it. Yeah. Am I so am I ask for permission? Like, I'm sorry, but, you know, you can dictate what you did to me and how I feel about it. Yeah. Not at all. Feel like for me, it was like, I just kinda keep a nice safe distance that feels good for me. For sure. And I plan on going to see him pretty soon. You know? Him coming to you know, I was like, yeah. I wanna fly you out. You haven't met my last two kids. Like Oh, he hasn't? No. No. So I'm like, you know, it's time. And you seem to be in a good space right now. So I think now is the time. And and I'll determine if that, you know, changes, obviously. But, yeah. So I think we're I'm at a place where I'm just kinda, like, creating a safe distance with And what about your mom? My mom's just She's at her house right now? Yeah. She's at her watching my kids. Oh, I love her. I love her. Yeah. Yeah. And what about your parents? Where what is the relationship with your mom now? With my mom now, it's Is she sober? I don't know, but I don't police it enough. All I know is that I gave her strict boundaries on the fact of I I don't want you drinking around me and I don't want you drinking around the kids and, you know, you're an adult. If that's something you wanna do, just let me know and I know not to come over or I know that you wanna have some drinks then I will come pick my kids up or whatever, you know? But it's very, we've been through a lot, we went through a lot, like, on this past season and I cut her off for, like, a good year. I just couldn't take it anymore. And, now it's kind of slowly progressed into having conversations and she comes over to my house and sees the kids and honestly, who opened that door was Nova. Mhmm. And her and I had this conversation, and she just said I really miss her. I really miss my grandma. And I was like, well, f**k. Like, is there any way that I can do this in a in a way that makes me feel safe and I know my children are safe? Right. And so my mom has come over to our house a few times for, like, barbecues and to see the kids, and there's been, like, two or three times where I'll drop the older two off of my mom's house just for the day. I'm not comfortable the overnights yet, and she knows that. I I let them hang out for a few hours. I go there, pick them up, bring them home, like, whatever makes me feel safe and comfortable, I'm okay with. Right. And I think that's maybe what needed to happen for my mom to realize, like, I'm not doing this anymore, this back and forth, the me not speaking when I'm uncomfortable, or I'm showing up and you're drinking and I don't see anything and I stay, but I'm anxious. Like, I'm not doing it anymore for myself. And so it's been slowly progressing into a relationship, but I'm just literally taking it super slow. Yeah. I think when it comes to your mom, we're just kinda following her intuition, like whatever feels like good. And I feel like your mom's been really good. She's not like She has and I've noticed like she reached out to me and said, hey, I would love to start doing like a weekly thing. I come over once a week. We do dinner, or we make pies, or we do something with the kids. And I said, absolutely. And I told her, I said, that means a lot to me that you That she's making the effort. Yeah. Yes. Because I felt like it was I was always having to be the one to make the effort when in a mother parent relationship, it should not be like that. Yeah. Because honestly, the whole reason why all the fall happened was there's a lot that happened as far as, like, you didn't, like, you didn't just attack, you know, or put you know, do something for a nova that we didn't agree with, but you also totally, like, attacked our relationship. You attacked our lifestyle. Like, it was all your mom did that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They put on, like, Instagram, and they yeah. It was just a it was toxic. It was just bad. It was not good. I don't think I knew about any of this. Was this, like, a public situation? Yeah. It was I mean, she she did she made a couple of quotes and some of that her little brother went on on Instagram live and did a whole, like, so much rumor stuff that just kinda got it was, like, unnecessary It was. Out of nowhere, like, what is going on? It was just really weird, thing. And so I think at that point, it was like, alright. Well, how how could we consciously let you be a part of our lives when you actually are really just creating mess, like, for no reason? Like, I can't consciously do that. So until you get your s**t together, what I mean, it's not safe for us to really be around you. And that was on and she was like, listen. Honestly, the the year that you didn't talk to your mom was the that's the only time that I really think about, like, wow. You really stuck to your boundaries. Like, it was Yeah. Because I made a promise to myself. Because I made a promise to myself. There's been many times and I feel like, you know, when you do grow up in addiction and you're so used to policing the environment so you feel safe, like, you know, she would start drinking around me or whatever, and I would just I would just shut down. And I knew what my boundaries were to myself. Like, get up and say, hey. I'm leaving. I'll see you in a few days or whatever. You're having you're drinking. I'm leaving. You know? But I wouldn't. I would sit there and I would just Tyler would be upset. And he's like, I could physically see your body turn inwards. She would. She would she would, like I could see her, like, she would her she would literally make herself smaller on the couch. And I so I would go up to her and just kinda like, hey. Are you you you wanna leave? Like, you know what I mean? And it was it was it made me really uncomfortable because now I'm like, alright. I know my wife is like not liking this and I you're not my mom, so I can't like it's your house. I don't know. I just felt really it was like uncomfortable. Alright. You've heard me talk about children's vitamins so many times and typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise, but that's not what we're looking for. We wanna do better choices right now and we don't need the vitamins filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy junk growing kids should never eat, and that's why Hiya was created. This is a pediatrician approved super powered chewable vitamin. While most children's vitamins are filled with five grams of sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Hiya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy junk, but it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Haya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment that kids need with a good taste that they love. This is formulated with the help of nutritional experts, and Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitamin d, b twelve, c, zinc, folate, and many others to support immunity, energy, brain function, mood concentration, and more. The great thing about this is that they're non GMO, vegan, dairy free, allergy free, gelatin free, net free, and everything else you can imagine. Hiatt is designed for kids two and up and sent straight to your door, so parents have one less thing to worry about. I absolutely love that because five of my kids take these vitamins, and I love that they can decorate the bottle as soon as they come for your first order and then they're refillable jars, which is amazing. We've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. And to claim this, you have to go to hyahealth.com/famous. This deal is not available on their regular website. So if you go to hiyahealth.com/famous and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. When you guys think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like aloe or allbirds or even SKIMS, I'm sure you think about the great product, right? But do you guys ever think about the brilliant marketing behind that and maybe the often overlooked secret that is actually the businesses behind the business making selling happen. So for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50% off, meaning that way less carts go abandoned and way more sales are going. I think this is a great way for small businesses to keep the orders coming in less abandoned shopping cart. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, or in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as SKIMS uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/barelyfamous, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com/barelyfamous to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/barelyfamous. Do you think it was better to have each other during those these times than than to or did it was it harder on your relationship because you would see her kind of struggling with it and then it would take a toll on your relationship? It never took a toll on our relationship. I think more less There's a point when you were like, I'm gonna go to my mom's. I mean, I'm just not I don't wanna go. Yeah. Like, I don't I I that was my and that was my boundary for for my own because I I had to sit there and be like, oh my god. Now now I gotta emotionally monitor her and make sure you know, I was just So eventually yeah. So for me, it just got to a point where it was like, I'm not I'm doing myself a disservice Yeah. Like, by not sticking to my boundaries. And so I made a promise to myself that I was I'm never doing that again. I will call it out every time I see it. And so my mom and I had a conversation about that. We met up for lunch one time and had a conversation, and I laid out my boundaries again. And that was after we didn't talk for, like, six months. We met up, had a conversation, and I was and I just was basically, like, we can move forward, but these are my boundaries again, and it's this is what I will not deal with. Fast forward, like, a month or two after we had that conversation, it was the Carly visit was happening. And my mom and I, you know, we're kind of still going through it a little bit, but we were talking the stuff again in the mending process. Yeah. And so we had the Carly visit, and two times during that visit, she was drinking at the visit. Oh, she went to the visit. Yeah. Yeah. And she was drinking at the visit, and I didn't wanna call it out exactly right there in that moment, which I've learned through therapy wasn't the right thing. Wasn't? Wasn't. That my therapist said you should have stood up right in that moment and said, hey, listen, if you're gonna drink, you need to leave. Yeah. Was Carly present? Yes. So your therapist would have suggested for you to say that in front of Carly? Not right now. Not in front of her, maybe I'm on the side. But speak on it. Right. But my thinking in that moment was, I'm gonna wait. We only have one more day. And after this visit, I'm bringing it up to her, you know. Okay. And so after the visit happened, and, we said our goodbyes. The next morning, I woke up to a text message from my mom's mom, and she was basically going off on me saying, like, the way you treat your mom is disgusting. This is before I even said anything to my mom or anything. This always comes from the people who are enabling the addict or the alcoholic. Yes. Because I always have people always have words for me, the ones that are enabling my mom. Yes. And it's like, dude. She just said all this nasty stuff to me and everything, and then so I was I literally just woke up, got that. So then I reached out to my mom. I sent her, I said, your mom's f**king crazy, and for two, I don't appreciate you, Drew. I called her out on it, and I said, I do not appreciate. Like, I let you into one of the most intimate things in my life, and you know my boundaries, and you did it anyways. And she said, well, I didn't think it was that big of a deal because other people were having drinks too. And I said, they're not the alcoholic. They're not the one that traumatized me, and one of the reasons why my child is where she is because I didn't have any support. And so it just it really blew up and I think I need that. I needed to feel what it was like to be strong and to not rely on her for anything, you know? Yeah. And that's when we didn't talk for, like, a year. And so now it's just very slow moving, and it's for the kids and same thing, like, Tysa not wanting to have any regrets with with his dad. I don't wanna have any with my mom either, but she needs to understand what I will tolerate and what I will not anymore. Absolutely. You know? And I stand firm in that. But if again, if there's a safe way where the kids can be evolved and she can be involved, then I'm cool with that. Yeah. No. I respect that. And I think just knowing your boundaries is, you know, the best thing you can do for yourself and for your kids. But I kind of hated myself in a sense. Self in a sense. I felt like a part of it was my fault at the Carly dinner because there were so many times before that where she knew my boundaries and she'd do it in front of me and I would never call it out. And so I think she was so used to that pattern. Of course, she's gonna think, oh, I can do this, and she's not gonna call it out because she never has. Right. And then when I did, she blew up. Well, because the boundary is for you. Yes. Yeah. And it's up to you to, like, stand firm in it, and she has to learn to respect it or not. Right. You know And, especially, it's one of those things where it's, like, you know, you guys we we we actually invited you into this really intimate thing, the most intimate thing and personal thing that we ever could do. Do with her. We're giving you the honor of, like, let's let's come to the visit. Because I don't have to invite anybody. It could be just me tying the girls. You know? So it just kinda it just kinda blew up on our face. And and and, obviously, after that happened, that's when, like, they went online and kinda, like, just threw our whole relationship all over the place. And That Tyler's gay. Told her he has a boyfriend that lives in Arizona, not just you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But, like, started all this s**t and then, honestly, like, you know and and and the way I took it was and I was like, listen, I don't take anything personal that your mom says about me. I don't take anything personal about what your little brother says about me. I know who I am, comfortable, whatever. My problem is is that when they say certain things like Kate always listen to Tyler or does whatever he says, you're diminishing her strength. You're you're literally dehumanizing her, robbing her of all the strength that she had on her own. I was not involved in any of this strength. She did it on her own. So you're you're you're taking it away from her and how dare you rob her of that by bashing me Mhmm. Instead of he controls Yeah. That's actually a really good point. Like, what are you doing? Like, I I I've watched your daughter go through therapy. I've watched her struggle and fight and and and just scroun to get to where she is. And for you to say, oh, well, she does everything you say or whatever. I'm con this big controlling person or whatever the case is. Like, how dare you? Well, because acknowledging that would require them them to have some level of self awareness that they clearly didn't or don't have. I mean, I don't know them, so I don't wanna speak to them right now. But maybe at that time, they didn't have that level of self awareness, and that would cause they would have to look at themselves through. But it was way easier for them to place a blame on you. That's what I told her. I said, I think it's I mean, it's easier for your mom to place a blame on me than to say, wow. I I maybe I traumatized her as a child, and that's why she's, you know, making these decisions. You know? It's not me. She knows. She's been to multiple family weeks when I've been in treatment. She knows what she has done. You know? Does she ever acknowledge any other She has. Yes. She definitely has. She's acknowledged. She's apologized. She's, you know, all of the things. But, you know, I think one of her problems is too that she doesn't do all the therapy for all the s**t she went through as a kid. Well, I also think that, I mean, you can apologize until you're blue in the face. Until you make those changes and your actions are the apology, it doesn't it's sort of a moot point. Yeah. Sorry is just a word. Right. Yeah. And it means nothing. And if a month later, you're cussing me out and saying bad s**t about my my husband again You were never really sorry. Exactly. Yeah. Because at that point, it's a choice. Like, you're choosing to do that. And my claws came out with that too. It's like, how dare you? This man has supported me through my whole life, basically. We've been together for seventeen years. I have four beautiful daughters with this man, and if you think that I would stay in a relationship with a man that controlled me and I just listened to everything that he said, you're out of your f**king mind. So don't know me as a person. No. If you don't. And I have four daughters. If you think I want them to think that that's a normal way to live and that's really how you think I am, then I don't want nothing to do with you. A %. You know? Like, I'm not that type of person. So when you guys are going through everything that you're going through now with, you know, Carly's adoptive parents, what does that do with your relation to your relationship with your parents? Like, does Butch have anything to do with like, do you ever talk to him about it? Oh, no. No. And do you ever talk to your mom about it? My mom and I did have a conversation, yeah, and she was pissed. She was pissed. And, you know, my mom is very abrasive. She says hurtful things. She you know? But then once she got all that out, she kind of got to the point of, like, I'm so sorry. You know? So I let her have her moment of she's pissed, and I'll f**k them. She's just very blunt about all that. And then she turned it around and was like, I'm so sorry. You know? Like and I mean, it's yeah. It's just a lot. It's always something. I know. I feel like especially with especially with just the history of our parents. They were together, and then now they're not. And Oh my god. I've heard that. Yeah. I do. Hey. Remember, we're stepsiblings. You know what I'm saying? They say, hey. Hey. White trash over yes. Living in tramp art? Yeah. Like so, like, the fact that they were married before, it's just, like, our our parents, we would be lying if we said they weren't a part of our story. But let just like They are. But I think it's weird how the parents are kinda like who you know, they're like, oh, well, you're you're doing it. It's like, no, dude. I'm just telling the truth. Everything I can't promise. I'm I'm sorry that, like, you know, MTV can't make you look like s**t or put words in your mouth. You know what I mean? Like, you call daughter a b***h. You're the one that. So it's like I Especially for our type of show. Yeah. You did it all to yourself. I wasn't, you know, telling you what to say or call me a w***e on TV. Like, that was you, not me. Yeah. So I think it's just one of those things where it's like we have to create a safe distance with our parents. And I feel like we're it it took a minute. It took it takes a while. Like, I feel like to kinda create what is my safety net? Where am I comfortable? Went too far that time. I would come back in. Like, it's just it's kind of a constant evolving thing. Well, I think humans are, like, creatures of habit. Right? And so sometimes chasing the chaos or or that fear of the unknown becomes the pattern, and that's sort of what we're used to. Yeah. And so anything normal or calm or constant sort of feels foreign, and you're like, wait a minute. Yeah. Where's the to the chaos where I'm comfortable. Yeah. Where's the grenade? It's gone. You know what's so funny is, like, I grew up in so much chaos my whole entire life. One of my biggest dreams was, like, to have my own place and it be safe and calm and nurturing. And so it's when I have chaos around, I tend to now just wanna go home. We retreat. You know? I wanna go home to my safe zone because I never felt safe as a kid ever. So your childhood like? I know your mom was an alcoholic, but what is the relationship with your dad? My dad Is he also an addict or no? No. No. My dad has always, you know, worked really hard, all the things. Of course, when I was growing up and I was younger, like, a lot of my child memories are with my dad. I don't have a lot at my mom's house. All the ones being little, my moms are very traumatic, but we're But they're they're separated. They were always they were divorced? Yeah. They they were never married. My mom was 19. My dad was, like, 20 or 21 when they had me. So you grew up living with your dad most of the time? Not my mom. I lived with my mom. So why didn't you live with your dad? Because they separated when I was before I was even one, I think. But if she wasn't stable and she was an alcoholic, why was there ever an option for you to go live with your dad? I know my mom and dad went to court when I was 10? Maybe a little younger than that. Yeah. Eight eight, nine, or 10, and my dad fought for a few years. Was that after he moved to Florida or before? No. Before he moved to Florida. Yeah. But my dad, he didn't do everything right. You know, he very much so got into a relationship with a woman who was very toxic, gave me a lot of my self confidence issues. She was obviously mean she was very mean to me, emotionally abusive. Not, I mean, there were some physical things, but not like hitting, but other Cutting her hair, I think That's what I mean. I guess that's physical. Physical abuse. Would say tell me that I was fat and overweight and I couldn't eat certain things. This was your stepmom? Yeah. Are they still together? No. No. No. But they were married for, like, eleven years. Oh, that's a long time. And so I was a kid and And throughout the eleven years, she was at I was going but I was going yeah. And I would go to my dad's every other weekend, and my dad would pick me up from school every Wednesday. And it would be just me and him, and we would go, like, on a lunch date or whatever. My dad is very regretful in the choices that he has made, and he has apologized numerous times. And, you know, I forgive him for that because he has shown me actions, you know. Yeah. He makes it a point to be in my life. He calls me once or twice every every single week and we have, you know, we talk on the phone and, I just wanna action after his sorry. Yeah. So you know what I mean? Like, there was, like, actions. And so I really have, you know, I've forgiven him for that. Are you his only child? No. So you have other siblings? So you have a brother from your mom? You have five. You have five siblings? I have a brother and Why am I just now learning this? We don't have and none of us have a relationship. It's actually really sad. Yeah. Even your little brother? No. And he was the one I was closest with. So what it is is on my mom's side, it's me, I have a sister, and my youngest brother, Nick. The sister is older or younger than you? Younger. Younger than you. She's middle. We're four years old. Oldest of all your siblings? Okay. No. No. Oh, yeah. Andrew. Oh my gosh. I have yeah. So on my mom's side, it's us three. It's me, my sister, and my brother. I'm the oldest. My sister is the middle, and my little brother is the youngest. On my dad's side, he had a son when he was, like, 16 years old. He's four or five years older than me, and I didn't meet him until I was, like, nine eight or nine. Why'd you how'd you meet him? I remember waking up one day and this kid was there, and I remember him looking over a bunk bed and I was like, oh, this is your brother. Yeah. So, like Like, the trauma. What? So I guess ever said this story out loud? Yeah. Have you? I mean, I feel like I have to. I know you told me. Like, I don't know. I was my bump at it. My brother Probably only Tyler. Probably only Tyler. I was like, dude. And the sad thing about my brother is he you know, he lived with a very not mentally well mother. My dad she was a teen mom, obviously. My dad was 17. My dad didn't know that he had a son for many years, found out he had a son. This just keeps getting worse. Yeah. My brother now is very it's sad. He's just, my dad has nothing to do with him, wants nothing to do with him because he is mentally ill as an addict and all of the things, and you wonder why. And I feel bad for my brother. I was I built a relationship with him when I was, like, 12, 13 years old, and I fell in love with him. We were so close. We, you know, talked all the time. He lived with my dad actually for a while for a few years when he was growing up, and then he got to the age of 18. And my dad said his wife basically said he needs to get a job or he needs to leave, and my brother ended up leaving. And it's just been very toxic for him. But and then on my dad's side, there's a little brother and my stepsister Amber, which was my dad. Also have an Amber? Yep. Uh-huh. Okay. So you both have an Amber? Yep. Okay. Yeah. But my steps my stepsister is my dad's toxic ex wife's daughter. Got it. But her and I, it's funny because I don't have a relationship with any of my siblings. Except for her. Yeah. And they're divorced now, but I still ever since I was, you know, I think I was, like, three and she was four when they got married. So my whole life, she was my sister. Was she also traumatized by her mom? Very much so. So that okay. You know how people say, oh, like, you you talk about trauma and they call it trauma bonding, but that's, like, not actually trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is when you go through the trauma together. Right. That whole thing, do you think that that's sort of why, like, why you guys bonded the way that you did? I think I think, being older is when we've gotten way closer. When we were younger, we used to fight and, you know, like sisters would and stuff. But But I think it was more or less, like, you know, you had to keep watching her have a life that you really wanted with your dad. Yeah. So that's what we thought. Yeah. Sibling Sibling. Rivalry, you know. Kind of thing. Like a resentment almost. Yeah. Like, Like, you didn't get to live with your dad full time and she did. Yeah. I will stop. And my dad adopted her, so she has, like, my, you know Full yeah. My last yeah. My last you know, our last name and everything. Do they still have a relationship now? Oh, yeah. They do. That's my dad's daughter. She has a daughter. That's his granddaughter. You know? She she doesn't have a relationship with her bio dad or anything, and so that's all she has known as my dad since the age of four. You know? But her and I have a very close relationship. But her mom was so, like, disgusting to her that she said one time her mom, looked at her because her boyfriend broke up with her, and she said to her, something to the fact of you're just jealous because all your boyfriends want me. Like, nasty. She is the loopy like, she's she when you meet this lady, it's almost like she's f**ked up on pills twenty four seven. Yeah. She's airy out there, says weird s**t. Like, it's just been lots of trauma on that side, but my sister has nothing to do with her mom. She can't stand her. Like, she, you know, has cut her out of her life completely. And Actually, she's doing great making her boundaries with her mom. She's like She's just nothing to do with her. But and her her and I are the closest. We're not even blood related. I have been trying desperately to regrow my hair and also just make it thicker. You should love your hair and that can be hard to do especially if you're dealing with shedding or thinning. Neutrifol is here to help. Their whole body approach to hair health works from the inside out so you can start loving your hair again. This year, there's nothing holding you back from loving your hair again. Hair is really so much more than what's on the surface. It's a reflection of what is happening inside. So you guys should let Nutrafol target the key root causes of your hair thinning and help you grow stronger healthier strands from within. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. Trusted by over one and a half million people see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol. And Nutrafol has multiple formulas that are tailored to give your hair exactly what they need to grow at the different stages, like postpartum, menopause, maybe different lifestyles or plant based diets. All of these things are going to factor into your root cause. A clinical study, eighty six percent of women reported improved hair growth after taking Nutrafol women hair growth supplement for six months. You can purchase online, no prescription required, automated deliveries, and free shipping track. Plus with a Nutrafol subscription, you can save up to 20%, and you'll have access to free naturopathic doctor consults, and a Headspace meditation membership is included. Start your hair growth journey with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrafol.com and enter code famous. Find out why over 4,500 health care professionals and stylists recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com, it's spelled nutraf0l,.com, promo code famous. That's Nutrafol.com, promo code famous. Through weight loss by Hers, you can give yourself something to be excited about in 2025. You can spend the new year in control of your weight by losing up to an average of nine pounds in your first month. This is based on data that real HEERS customers have reported based on their personalized compounded GLP one treatment plans. Let's face it. Weight loss can feel overwhelming, and that's why HEERS is changing the game. They provide access to GLP one medications plus expert care, and they make your goals more achievable. If you're looking for a weight loss solution that actually works, Weight Loss by Hers provides the access to the GLP one medications. And hers is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed. Hers offers a holistic weight loss program with personalized solutions, including compounded GLP one weekly injections featuring the same active ingredient as Ozempic and Wegovy and oral medication kits. After submitting an online intake form, a licensed medical provider will determine what plan is best for you. And if prescribed, your program will include the medication, ongoing care, and online support all at one low cost. Weight loss plans are more affordable through Hers with compounded GLP one injections starting at just a hundred and $65 a month with a twelve month plan paid upfront for new subscribers. No hidden fees and no membership fees. So if you guys have been struggling with your weight loss journey, it's time to find the best option that works for you through hers. Start your initial free online visit today at for hers.com/ barely famous. That's f0rhers.com/barelyfamous for your personalized weight loss treatment options. Forhers.com/barelyfamous. I'm still just so fascinated that I didn't like, I I feel like you have you have one sister and that's it. Yep. One sister. That's I knew that. Mhmm. I had no I knew you had a little brother from your mom. Yep. I'm just sort of Floored? Sorry. I threw all that on you. No problem. I'm just thinking about how addiction has impacted all three of us, and none of us have went down that road. Thank God. Isn't that so interesting, though? Like, I don't know. I know addicts who who came from really, really wealthy, well treated families, and they're struggling on the streets right now. And then we came from very, tumultuous Yes. Families and childhoods, and we did not go down that path. And I wonder what that was, what what the difference is. And I think it's and I think it's sad because you're, like you know, I didn't go down that path. My stepsister didn't go down that path. And some of my siblings did. Like, my sister on my mom's side, she was an addict for a long period of time. Dicted to pills, addicted to cocaine. Okay. So you've experienced addiction, your parent, your sibling, and your husband's family. A few of your siblings. Yeah. My oldest brother, he Andrew. He has an addiction problem. He's actually been sober just going on two years now most recently, and I, like, applaud him for that. My brother on my dad's side, the littlest one, he's definitely addicted to weed. You know? So it's like there's yeah. Addiction runs rampant on both sides of our family. That's why we have to be very careful when we talk, you know, we talk to our kids openly about all the things. Which is why I think we've done such we we've focused so much on, like, okay. Let's explore the trauma trauma so we understand it better so that way we can know exactly what not to do with our own kids. And I think that's what people get kinda confused. Like, well, we've heard it all the time. Like, oh, you guys are just always talking about your trauma. It's like, well, listen. It's important though because that's what that's what we need to do. Get that all up. No. But but what else are you gonna you are undoing Years. Generations. Yeah. I mean, we're talking, like, over a decade worth of trauma from addiction and everything else. So it's gonna take just as long or longer to undo that and unpack that and digest that. I think people don't really get intergenerational trauma. They don't get that. Like, your mom, then your it's a ripple effect, and it it has to stop somewhere. So we had to. We had to make that do is talk about your trauma. What like, how else That's what people tell me. It's like or that we're trauma bonded. And it's like, okay. I'll be honest with you. I'm not denying the fact that we're trauma bonded, but I feel like there's a negative viewpoint of that. And then it's also just a truth and a fact matter of that, yes, adoption is trauma. Yeah. Our parents are addicts. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I mean And honestly, I'm like, if this is trauma bonded, then I'm glad I'm in it. Yeah. For real. For real. But we've, you know, but, I think and I don't think people understand, but before cameras came around, you know, and ever caught caught us where we were at in our lives, Ty and I, we did bond on a form of just like, damn. Like, your life's crazy. My life's crazy. And we But that's really overt that's like bonding over the traumas. The similarity almost. That's right. About it. Right. There's a difference. Yeah. Right. And so it was like we very much could talk to each other and relate to each other. Then y'all were trauma bonded by the adoption process and going through the whole acknowledge that. And we're like, but I think people kinda have this negative connotation with, oh, you're trauma bond. It's like, well, listen, when you go through life, like, talk to any, you know, married couple who's been married for fifty plus years. I guarantee they've bonded through trauma together as a couple. It's inevitable. Right? I mean, it's it's part of life. So %. And also, you can ask doctor Mike Dow. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. Who's that? He's our our therapist. He's the one that did psychedelic therapy with. Yeah. Wait. We need to talk time out. We have to talk about this. It's ketamine. Right? Ketamine. Yes. Tell me about this because I thought ketamine was, like, the zombie drug. The horse tranquilizer. Remember when we were kissing? No. He freaked me the first time when he said he was gonna go, I was like, horse tranquilizer? I'm like, you're gonna do horse tranquilizer. I was like, do people get high off that? People can. Yeah. On the street. Oh, yes. It's like yeah. Oh, yeah. But there is is it like fentanyl where there's, like, a medical use for it and then a street use for it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'm thinking that you were, like, using the street drug to Yeah, man. Medicate yourself. And I was like, I don't know if we should go down that path. No. Honestly, I think it's important to talk about because there's been so much research done with, psychedelic therapy in general and all the data that's coming out. Did you talk to Becky about this? Because she used to microdose. No. But no. That's really That has to talk about it. Okay. Psilocybin? Excuse me? Psilocybin. She microdoses psilocybin. Mushrooms. Okay. Yeah. So okay. So you guys should talk about that another Yeah. Another time? But so is it like that? It's exactly like that. You're you're you're kinda hooked up. They they they they give you the ketamine, and it's it's guided It's like medical professional. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Doctor. Chair of, blindfold music and Do you ever do you feel different, or is it just Oh, he's high. Like, high conscious changes. He's high look. He's high? Oh, for sure. Wait. What does it look like? I've never done it. I'm just scared. What does he look like? When he came home, he was totally fine. Wait. You weren't there? No. No. No. You just got f**ked up medically, professionally. Yeah. But if you look at the scenario In a in a therapeutic environment with a with a doctor Doctors, therapists. Of who's a therapist, whatever. And and what happens is is you kinda create this this, portal, whatever you wanna call it, to tap into all the subconscious in your head. And so you go in there with a really big intention. Like, I spent two weeks doing prepsychedule, like, going into, like, what we're gonna tackle. And I think for me, like, the only thing that I really got out of it was that, I was able to visualize myself healing and comforting my younger self Yeah. Visually. So now when I meditate because I have to meditate every day or else I'm gonna lose my mind. Can you explain what that was though? Like, you literally saw your older self? I literally saw my older self and my and I was a little boy, and I was crying about my dad or whatever, at two different ages. One, I was eight and one, when I was 11. And I literally was like me as I am now. Say and I just gathered both of them. It was and it was this is all visual. Obviously, I'm, you know, tripping. But you knew you were tripping? Like Oh, yeah. Like, you know when you get high, like, when you smoke have you ever smoked weed? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I just wasn't sure. Like, so when I would get high, I would be like, can this go away? Like, I'm tired now. Like, I'm over. Oh, no. You don't want this to go away. You wanna stay in here. But does that scare you? Did it ever scare you and, like, make you want to keep using that stuff, that type of thing? No. Because it's not ketamine is not like it you don't get addicted. You can't get addicted. It's like it's like it's almost like you can't get addicted to psilocybin. You can't get addicted to LSD because it's it's just too you can't. It's like I mean, if you are, you're f**king permanently damaged to your brain. Like, you can't do that. Wait. You can't get addicted to those things? I I I I think people can get addicted, but I think what he means is, like, it takes so much mentally, emotionally, and physically. You don't wanna do it every single day. So it's not sort of, like Microphone's different. I'm talking taking a dosage where you are, like, oh, yeah. Like, you're in LSD? No. Because he was Have you? Absolutely. Have you? Yes. And I hated every moment I was. She hated it. She absolutely Y'all did it together? Yes. Oh, yeah. She hated it. No. Wait. No. Listen. Listen. What's going on? What? What the f**k is this? Okay. Listen. Is that the thing you put on your tongue? It's acid. LSC. Acid. Psychedelic. Right? And for the mushrooms. Psilocybin's natural. LSC is not. So listen. So so Hold on. That's what actually inspired me to go do ketamine and actually take it as a in a therapeutic, not recreational use. No. No. No. Because there's so many we have a lot to unpack here. Let's un let's unpack. Okay. Start one by one. Go back to the ketamine. K. Uh-huh. But first, I need to know where you were and why you tried LSD. Like, what opportunity presented? 17. Yeah. We have a friend named Tom. Yeah. My best friend. Definitely in just psychedelics. And he was like, here I have LSD. And you were like, okay. Yeah. And so it was us and a big group of friends, and we lived in our trailer, which we saw on TV. Yeah. We lived in our trailer, and we were all like, alright. We're gonna take it, you know, not knowing that it takes, like, an hour or so to kick in. Or that it lasts for, like, seven hours. But so then all of a sudden, we're like, well, let's go it hasn't kicked in yet. What does it look like? It's just like a little piece of paper, a little square piece of paper, and you put on your tongue. And it didn't kick in for a while, and we're all like, well, we should all probably, like, eat before this kicks in. You know? So me and my friend, Casey, me and Casey That's right. Me and Casey go to McDonald's, get McDonald's for everybody. And it kicked in. But And I'm sitting in there. No. And I remember looking out the window and saying, Casey? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, the clouds are moving. He's like, they always move. I go, no, dude. Like, supersonic speed clouds. You know? And then we get back to the trailer park. It has hit everybody. We had McDonald's. Everybody ate s**t. No one ate McDonald's. You can't eat nothing. It's on the couch over there. Seven hours. I was so paranoid. I was hiding in the bedroom in the dark. I thought I was gonna sleep. You hated it. Hated it. I'm like, I'm gonna go I need to go to sleep. I need to go to sleep. Sleep. But that's how I am with weed. Like, I cannot get f**ked up because it just let me get it just stop. Just make it stop. But the problem is is that you cannot sleep. You can't get off the roller coaster once you're trapped in. People were laughing in the living room, and I felt the laughter. I felt the sounds were vibrating through my body, dude. Like, vibrating greatest time in my life. I'm I'm freaking out. Discovery. So I'm like, where is she at? I go in the backroom and she's like In the dark. With a blanket above her head, up to here. She's like, uh-huh. I'm like, hey. What's wrong with you? I hate it. And she said, I hate it. I said, can you hate it? Can you act normal on it? No. You just you just succumb. Surrender. Throw your hands up. You're really in control. Got it. And so and I walked the room and she said, I hate it. And I was like, I can't be in here. Okay. And I, like and that was it. And then she would eventually came and came around. When Casey dragged me outside and I was, this is beautiful. You gotta go outside. It can't be a little tin box. But And I have a vivid memory of sitting on the couch, so paranoid, and Tom's looking at me like, it's just a drug, man. Oh, yeah. I was like, Tom, leave it alone. Stop. So you hated it, you loved it, and you were like, I'm definitely microdosing on ketamine. Imagine an app designed to make you use it less. Seems counterproductive. No? Well, Apartments.com's instant alert feature works exactly that way. Instead of scanning rental listings a million times a day, simply set and forget your search to whatever you're looking for in a place and let Apartments.com do the rest. From pet friendly apartments to balconies to in unit ACs, Apartments.com's powerful search tools let you know when the perfect combination of features you're seeking is listed. So you don't have to power through rental descriptions one by one. With more rental listings than anywhere else, Apartments.com's instant alerts mean you can spend less time online looking for the perfect place and more time doing you. Apartments.com, the place to find a place. Years, years later. Yeah. I was 17. I didn't do ketamine until, like, a year ago, two years ago. That was recent. Oh, yeah. They covered it on this show, TV show. Everyone told me to ask you about it because I talked about ketamine on my podcast, because I had no idea what the f**k it was. Yeah. And I didn't know what it does. So now we can talk about ketamine. Okay. So you go into this environment where it's controlled. There's professional. You are strapped in. There's music. Yeah. You have, like, what is the purpose? You have therapy sessions before you even do the ketamine therapy. So you have intentions, and then you what the purpose of it is to go into tap into your subconscious of where your neural pathways have been built in a way that are not serving you. Okay. And so you go back and you rewire your neural pathways in a different way, which it worked like a charm. The fact that I can go immediately I can meditate right now if I wanted to, and I can go into this visual, and it's, like, the most warming, peaceful hug you've ever had. It's, like, it's hard to explain. Did you have to do that to get to where you are now? The ketamine? Yeah. Only once. But you know, you've done it twice. You did one in Michigan and then Yeah. Well, so I did one in Michigan to kinda test it out to see what it, like and then once I realized, like, oh, wow. Like, they had to actually wake me up. They're like, Tyler, you're done now. And I'm like, well, I don't wanna go back. Like, what the hell? But and then that's when it got that's when it kinda sparked in me. Alright. I need to look into this, like, more. And that's when I found doctor Mike who's a professional, years of research, wrote a book about it, like, whatever. And that's why I was like, okay. I'm gonna do it with you. This little message, like, was different. Yeah. So that's why go with him? No. But you came to that? I came to visit at the end, and we had a session, me, him, and doctor Mike about, like, what he found out about himself and us even came up. And Do you know if you said things in therapy while you were on the ketamine? No. He well, he starts talking to you as you're going under. But then eventually, I'm like, I don't even hear him. And that's when he knows kinda just, alright, experience whatever is going on. I don't know that I want to discover the things that I don't remember. It's no. It's really scary. I will be honest with you. Like, there not want to know. No. It's scary to me too. It brought up it brought up stuff that, like, I had to re not relive it, but I relived it from a outside, almost like a ghost in the corner. Like, watching out of body experience. Yes. Very out of body watching me get abused, watching me, sometimes suicide, watching me, like, do all these things that I didn't know these things. Yeah. Well well, I mean, now you do. But but, like, it takes you really, like, stuff that because honestly, we're we're our brain just does things to try to protect ourselves. Right? So we will, like, you know, we'll fortify it in a way where it's like, don't we don't remember that memory. We don't don't go in there. Lock it out. Yeah. So this really which actually manifests physically anxiety, depression, mood swings. PTSD. I have a belief, and this is just me thinking, but, like, I really believe that those, hidden stuff in subconscious actually presents itself as, like, bipolar. Like, it it it messes with your neural pathway that affects everything in your life. So when you when I would do was doing it, it was like an out of body experience where I was like, watching myself be abused and all these traumatic things. And then at the very end of it, I was able to kinda comfort those ages. When you say abused, you mean, like, fit, like, child abused. You were sexually abused. Yeah. And you have you talked about that before? Yeah. Yeah. He does openly. Yeah. And I actually wrote a letter and stuff, and the part of my part of my so you do the ketamine treatment. Then afterwards, there's post treatment, like, homework you have to do. In therapy sessions too. In therapy sessions afterwards to kinda, you know, yeah, break everything down. But one of the one of the things that my psychiatrist was like, this is what you need to do was write a letter to your your younger self. And so I I did that hugely impactful. Like, it was like, woah. I was able to, like, let it go, burn the letter, and it just felt freeing. And so, yeah. It was just, like, it was the best thing I ever did. And I and I did years of therapy, but I swear to God this one ketamine session equaled, like, five years worth of therapy for me as far as just healing. So do they say to continue doing it, or do they say it's, like, sort of at your own discretion? At your own discretion. Yeah. But and some people say like, hey, I have to go and do a session like every six months. Or sometimes you get to the point where it's like, oh, I only do it once a year or once every three years. Depends on how much I have to unpack. Yeah. But there, I mean, just the statistics alone of it. It's literally curing people's PTSD. Curing it. Curing anxiety and depressive orders. Couldn't say it. Yeah. Like, it's literally curing it, and they have proof, like, statistic proof of it. And mushrooms are right up there. Psilocybin will be prescribed in the next ten years to people. Instead of it, it did a recipe. Swears by mushrooms. Mhmm. Like, swears by them. I had we weren't friends for five years, so I missed that chapter of her life, but she was telling me about how, just like microdosing really, really helped. So I was wondering if you were known to have been talking to a doctor. Next time you guys are called, or we could do, like, a swap where it's, like, both of us and both of you in Louisiana. That would've been fun. Even in Louisiana. Yeah. You guys could talk about it because I've never experienced anything with psychedelics before. I smoked weed, and I hate the feeling of it. Like, I just I don't love it. It it I took much to stop, and I hate it. No. There and there are there are some people who, like, I feel like who have more of, anxiety issues that they don't like not being in control of their body. They hate it. I hate it. And so me, I love it. Free me. So I wanna surrender. Mine is more of, like, I don't know how I'm being perceived. Right. Mhmm. That's not in control. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know what I'm like, if I look stupid, if I sound stupid, I don't want other people to see me that way. Yeah. So I can't I I can't, relax, I guess. Yeah. No. Same. Anxiety. Oh, I was diagnosed with anxiety, OCD tendencies, and coping. Yeah. So when I feel like my life is out of control, I clear surfaces. I have to, like, clear countertops clean. Yeah. And then I was did I say I was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD? Oh, no. No. Yeah. Mhmm. I was just a kid. Were you? Yeah. Oh, that's so interesting. For me, though. I'm I was like I'm not I'm not medicated. Yeah. I'm mainly because I get pregnant so much. But But, yeah. I yeah. ADHD and bipolar, which I questioned, but, well You you think you were diagnosed with bipolar? Gave me, like, a really intense medication. And I looked it up, and I was like, uh-uh. So I'm too scared to do that. I'd rather do natural ways that I can, like ketamine. I wanted to do I just didn't wanna do the this antipsychotic medication that really has a lot of side effects. Like I would have never I don't know enough about bipolar disorder to know, but I would have never I didn't that's why I asked her when I got diagnosed. I said, you will you know me better than anyone. You live with me. And I told him I can totally see. Yeah. She can see it. Yeah. I can I can sometimes and some and sometimes I brought up to him, like, do you think you're having a manic episode? Do you think you know, because there's times where out of nowhere, he can't sleep for months Yeah. And he struggles with it. There's times where he's just angry and doesn't know why. But look at everything that you said in the past fifty minutes. Of course, you're angry sometimes. Mhmm. Because I just feel like life has not been fair to you guys, to either one of you. Yeah. I mean, okay. Life's not been fair, but at the same time, look at the blessings that are around. I mean, we literally now. But Now? Yeah. Well, yeah. Now, but I feel like But just because you have blessings now should not discredit all of the trauma and all of the really s**tty experiences you've had as a child. Yeah. I mean, that's right. Yeah. But And so and I don't blame him as a wife, and he's you know, when he said, I would personally love to try all of the natural resources there are to me. I said, I support you in that. Like, I do not blame you at all. Now I'm different. Medication saved my life. Absolutely not. You know? And I still take it to this day that absolutely saved my life. Mhmm. If I wasn't such a b***h and scared and have anxiety, maybe I'd try some ketamine. No. That s**t scares me because I like I like going back things. I like to be in control of my body. When I'm not in control, I freak the f**k out. So Yeah. I don't know what you're saying. So I support. I said, that's your own stuff. Mhmm. You do what makes you feel comfortable. I mean, listen, me and her, we both have, you know, mental things are, but and look at how we both differently. We kinda tackle them differently. I think that's what's really important is that there's not a one all No. For everybody. Like, everyone's got a different path for how they're gonna heal their trauma and stuff. And so and it's okay to to just do things differently, whatever works for you. So, I mean Mhmm. What was your mom like growing up? Did was she sort of always a support system for you? And did she She wasn't there. She had to work two jobs. No. No. No. She had to work two jobs. I mean, I was, like, I was I I was, like, making grilled cheese at five by that. Like, I was doing my own thing. Like, I was She's, like, trying to provide. Yeah. She She yeah. She just worked, mortgage, and then she did bar on the in the weekend. So literally seven days a week, she was working. You know? So She was just trying to survive. Yeah. She was just trying to survive. So I think for me, it was just I got I was by myself constantly. So that's what kinda what I mean, she was absent. She was, like, abusive. She wasn't, like, you know, she was absent. But not because not by choice No. But purely out of being able to provide for you guys. Yeah. I watched this, clip of someone recently on TikTok, and it was this older woman. I'll have to find it. Don't even remember her name. I have to give credit where credit is due. But she basically said that she wasn't a good mom. She wasn't a nurturing mom because she had to be a the sole provider of her of her household. And as a single mom and, you know, dad wasn't in the picture, she became you know, she was absent not not necessarily by choice, but by default. Yep. Yeah. And she couldn't be the nurturing parent. She had to be the sole provider. And I just think that for sort of all of our situations in some way or another, whether they're in a an addict or not, all of our one of our parents has all like, your mom your mom to some degree was a provider for you. Right? Percent. And my mom, you know, she she struggled a lot with her her own addictions and her alcoholism, but she also had to be the sole provider because they didn't have a dad. So the times that I lived with her, she couldn't have been present if she wanted to be. Right. That's kinda where Emma couldn't have been present if she wanted to be, but I think it's one of those things where it's like, don't you find a little bit not more or less, like but you you have a I have a little a lot of more sympathy for my parents at my age now. Even your dad? Oh, yeah. And through the healing, just like where I'm like, wow. Like, you were literally just a young kid figuring out too. See, I don't have that I don't share that same experience. I hold so much resentment for my mom. But when other people, like you guys, tell me about your resentment for my mom. But when other people like you guys tell me about your experience with addiction, I have more empathy for people that have addiction that are not directly impacting you. To protect yourself, though? Because being angry is a lot easier than being vulnerable. Yeah. It's like when I talked to Macy about Ryan. And I I had so much empathy for him, and I have so much empathy for Butch and for your mom because it doesn't directly impact me. But my mom, she was supposed to be the provider for me. She was supposed to be the nurturer. She was supposed to be my safety. So, like, I don't have that same empathy for her. And I think too because I become a mom and I'm so involved with my kids, it makes me very hard and very resentful. Yeah. But I agree. And I went and I went through that. It's easier. It's power. Macy was telling me to go to Al Anon. Mhmm. Yeah. I know. I've been told that to my whole I've never gone. I've never gone either. I wish we just go together. Should we just, like, do it? Let's just do it. Yeah. To you guys, Macy, we'll all Let's just dive right in. Seriously. No I asked Lux the other day. I was talking to him about my mom, and he goes, where's your mom in hell? Because he, like I was like, she's dead to me. And she he was like, yeah. In hell. And I was like, wow. Interesting. It's like my anger is seeping down into my kids without even realizing and recognizing. So maybe just try to, like, look at that for a minute. Yeah. No. It's definitely your your anger is It was funny. But it was strommer. A %. And it's not just about my mom. Right? Like, I think just as parents in general, like, our anger, our happiness, our, you know, every feeling that we feel and we put on display, our kids are soaking that up. Oh, yes. They are. So you have to check carefully. A %. Yeah. Yeah. So when Macy was, like, go to Al Anon and she was, like, telling me about it, I was like, okay. Well, luck saying what he said, and now this, I guess I'll go. Okay. Fine. I mean, they do a spin off my arm. I've got it. They do online ones too. That's what she said. She's like, you don't have to put your mic on. You don't have to put your camera on. You can literally just show up and listen, and she said it's more for us than it is for them. And I thought that was really interesting. I also think it's interesting that, like, not only are we tied together by the show and, like, growing up on TV together, but also our ties to addiction. Like, it has affected all three of us and Macy to some degree, and I just think I don't know. There's just so much power in the ties that we have, if that makes sense. No. Yeah. It does. Because now we're all raising kids. Yeah. And now we have to stop it with us. We have to stop what we have. Ever freak out about that? I don't know how you are on time, but freak out about oh, I don't care. Okay. Do you ever freak out about one of your children becoming an addict? I think about it two to three. Yeah. We yeah. No. And how you went on my small children, I'm like, I'm actually, like, nervous. Yeah. Yeah. Like, terrified. Even when I when I got my wisdom teeth out, when I've had cosmetic surgery, when I anything, I don't take medication, and I'm because I'm terrified. Right. So, like, even taking eight hundred milligrams of ibuprofen freaks me the f**k out. Yeah. And I just think about my kids, you know, we all try drugs at some point. Yeah. Like, I tried tried LSD and weed. I smoked weed. You know? It scares me to think that my kids I don't have an addictive personality, so I've never really been sort of addicted to anything, but it scares me to know that, genetically speaking, it could be passed down to my kids. Right. And, you know It freaks me out. Yeah. Something that I thought of when I started having kids. No. We didn't neither. We didn't neither. You know, in the last, I would say, five years where I'm really starting to think about what that looks like. Especially Isaac. He's I mean, he's I'm not you know what? I'm not worried about him. I'm not even necessarily worried about Lincoln. It's more the younger ones. Why is that? Because of mental illnesses. Okay. So Meaning, like Like, I have struggled with depression and anxiety, things like that. My mom is diagnosed bipolar. She has addiction. So I'm and then also on their dad's side. Okay. Have a history of on their dad's side as well. And so I think about the the double effect. Right? Like, it's coming from both sides instead of just one. And so I worry about odds are okay. I see what you're saying. More against them. Right. Same with our kids. And I know it sounds crazy, but that's why I literally put them in every single sport they ask to play. Oh, yeah. Because I'm like, if you guys are so busy getting, like, your your dopamine hits, your what is it? Serotonin. Yeah. And then adrenal adrenaline. Yep. If you get that from other things, you won't seek it out somewhere else. Also, I'm so right of them being bored and sort of that taking them down the wrong path. And I also think well, I think I think I think though it's interesting to to point out that, like, a lot of addiction doesn't happen because you experiment. It happens because you have unresolved trauma yourself. Mhmm. So as long as you're vigilant in watching your children and how they act and what they react to and what could possibly be traumatic for them, and you just, you know, you know, whatever. Beam when you're asking and get them help. There's so many questions I have surrounding addiction because my mom came from a really good family, and nobody else struggled with addiction. So, like, how did that happen to her? Something happened to her. Yeah. But but really? What's really because you don't know addict. You're you can't find an addict who is not trying to heal trauma or escape from some something happening. I don't know what it is. I would want I would need to pick Ryan's brain because I I think I'm I don't even know if I've ever met him, but, like, what would lead him down to the road? Because I what I've seen is what I know I of what I've seen of what I've I only know what I've seen on TV or on social media, and I thought that he came from a really great family. So, like, what could have happened to him? All addicts are trying to numb themselves from something. That's what separates you. You don't have an addictive personality because you don't go that route with it. I think in a in a way, I feel like it's easier for us as traumatized kids. It's easier for us to go, let's just be like, it's easier to escape through drugs or whatever. Never had a thought to be like, let me just try heroin. Yeah. Right. No. Exactly. I'm traumatized. Let me go shoot up. Like, that just has never computed for me. Yeah. Me either. Even drinking, not like, I've never been a drinker. But I think it's interesting. You point out, like like, for Ryan, for instance, the outside looks really good. Mhmm. Big house, beautiful family. Mhmm. You know? But there are so many things. Like, most of the addicts that she was went in rehab with, wealthy, came from amazing families, trust fund kids. Like You don't think it's just, like, them partying too hard? It's like, oh, I wanna get, like, do a lot of things. That can happen. Yes. But I'm telling you But then what happened to rehab? They What? Unpack it. Mhmm. My best friend from high school is, you'll have to look it up. It's called Ken Kensington. Mhmm. It's a f**ked up place by us, and, that's where she's at. And I saw an interview on YouTube of someone, like, interviewing her on Ken in Kensington. And I just think about the family that she came from, and it was a really great family. And, like, I've been to her house, and, like, we had sleepovers. And, like, I just can't under like, I she never talked about trauma. She never talked about anything ever. I never saw anything happen to her. So, like, I can't, I think, understand it from that. And then I think about my mom and I'm, like, I just don't understand it. But you know what also too is sometimes people can have trauma and they speak about it and people look at them and say, how that's not even that bad. How's that trauma? But to them, it's the most intense thing they've ever experienced in their lives. Yeah. And trauma Even if it seems small to us or we're like, what? Really? To them, it's the biggest issue of their lives. Or one of them big misconception about trauma, Trauma is not what happened. It's how you reacted to what happened. It's not the event that happened. It's how you perceived that. How you perceived that and how you behaved and result of that thing happening. So, like, a dog dying, like, oh my gosh. Like, people be, oh my god. It's a dog. Right. You're only sick for four four years, but a person would be like, no. That's, like, really It depends on the person. So it's not trauma is not what happened. It's how they got hurt. They always say don't judge people for their trauma because trauma at the end of the day is trauma. Even if it's it seems small to you, it's big to them. And I think comparing trauma is stupid. I think it's a good thing. To compare. I just need I don't understand it so it's really like, I I have a hard time Yeah. With it. Okay. So are you curious to know? Yeah. No. I wanna know. Like, I I wanna know how you got a did you get surgery and then you were on, Percocet and then it just, like, spiraled in the camera? A body, like, dependency thing? Yeah. Because I think I think opiates a little different Different. Ballgame. Right? Because that's, like, literally physically your your brain say, hey, you're we're gonna die if you don't get this opiate in you. But if you're talking like alcohol, heroin, cocaine, like hardcore drugs, I mean, nine out of ten I'm like a a major intervention lover. Every single episode you watch, it's either divorce, it's a sexual abuse, it is Like, a major not having their parents. It's always linked to trauma. Yeah. That's so interesting. And even the ones that come with great families, something happened. Something happened. That may seem small. So maybe one day So what's not trauma to me was Right. Could have been trauma to them. So who knows? Maybe one day you might find out what happened to your mom. Yeah. But even then, you're like, I'm gonna go drink or it's like a gradual like, I I don't it could be gradual for somebody. Yeah. It's so interesting. But I think it's okay to admit that, hey, you're stronger than your mom. But to be curious enough to know why your mom went that route But does she even know? I mean Maybe not. Because why would she still be using it? You know what I mean? It's obviously she has unresolved healed things as well. And because through my through my therapy, there was stuff that came out that I was like, wow, I never would have looked at that as trauma. Right. And it's like my whole life was that way. And so I started to realize that this happened to help. Yes. And, yeah, and there were some things where I was like, holy s**t. Like, that is traumatic as hell, and I needed therapies to really realize those things. You know? And sometimes our parents, like, my mom hasn't, maybe your mom hasn't, but they don't go to therapy to figure it out. What was it for them either? So then sometimes they never been to therapy that I know of. Yeah. I mean, what separates us is that we actively are trying to figure this out, and I think staying curious about your own journey and why you do the things you do will lead to healing. Mhmm. It's it's inevitable. You just gotta stay curious and not get harder and not just, you know, label it and let it go. Right. You gotta keep evolving. For sure. And also, I think from a young age, I always had, a drive of my kids will never have this. I'm going to like, I always had that thought process. I always wanted to be a mom, and I wanted to do things differently. So I just lived by that. I feel like you're given two paths when you grow up in households like us. It's either I go down the same path or worse as them or I do completely opposite. Yeah. I don't I think, luckily, I just didn't get the addictive gene because otherwise, I think I would've I had access to all this stuff. Yeah. Right. And I just I was so traumatized by how my mom was as a person when she was under the influence that I was just repulsed me more than Yep. I don't even know how to and I I think also just, like, being around people who took me in when my mom was not in her best state of mind Yeah. Was helpful, but I'm glad that we got to talk about it. Yeah. Me too. Feels like therapy. It does. It does. I think of you like therapy. Right? So where can people find your podcast and where can people find you on social media? Kate and Ty, break it down. It's all of our social medias. Yeah. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, anywhere. And, anywhere. And, Spotify, Apple, anywhere you listen to podcasts. Well, thanks for coming on Verily Famous. Thanks for having me. Evan us. Alright. I may not be as funny as Nikki Glaser. I wanna pit the series of, like, calendars where men are just crying in a therapist's office or punching a pillow and working out their anger towards their dad. But I do have my moments. I actually have full conversations. With the moon. Yes. I try to keep it pretty balanced on this podcast. A little fun dance between comedy, therapy, self medicating. Oh, and sorry. If you haven't guessed, hi. I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine podcast where we like to just keep things loose and keep them raw and keep them real, like when we have listeners call in and give confessions. And then that glass of wine progressed into me becoming a unicorn for them. So But we do, and I promise you this, try to keep it honest and vulnerable. So jump on the wagon, not off, grab your favorite bottle of wine, preferably Spade and Sparrows, and join the Vinos. Have yourself a time. The off the vine podcast is available wherever you get your podcasts. Are you looking for your next case? Pluto TV has all your favorite crime dramas streaming for free We're gonna need some backup. Which means suspense is free. Very cool. Watch See You Sign New York, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI, and SWAT, all for free. You can't outrun this. Someone is gonna pay for all this crime, but it's not gonna be you. Take care of business, fellas. Watch all the cases, all for free from all your favorite devices. We got you. Feel the free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.