Transcript
This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three, oh, fantastic. I'm worried about the mike being that close to your boobs. I think I'm OK. OK, I can. Oh, you want me to pull it out? OK? Yeah, I mean, you're loud enough that I think that can be a couple of inches away from the drag. I think I didn't even need a microphone. I'm so loud. Perhaps what if he had it with, OK, I read this story in the New York Post. In what I have had it with is women writing love letters to murderers and not just any murderer, the murder of his wife. So in the New York Post, it said that Alex Murdoch is getting. Oodles and gobs of love letters from women, one even said, I'm obsessed with you. And here's the deal number one, he killed his f**king wife. So you're signing up to be murdered. He killed his f**king kid, which is the most horrific thing any person could ever do. And he's not cute. I mean, not even to mention, I forgot he's going to be in jail until he's dead. Scott Peterson now he was cute or is cute, whatever killed his pregnant wife. So we've got the murder of wives and children. And I've heard Scott Peterson cannot keep up with the bushels of love letters. What's the psychology of that like that you want to marry somebody that's in prison? I don't get it. Maybe that you like men that are unavailable. I guess, I mean, you know. We have bad pictures. A hundred percent like I'm so guilty of so many terrible choices. Involving a man. But I just want to go on record the permanent record that I will never send a love letter to a jail inmate. You in particular have a bad picture. And so this is, you know, just when you think you're the worst at something, when you've got these people that trot out, right? I've seen on like datelines in 2020's these women that actually marry men that are convicted murderers, right? And devote all of their time to, you know, helping try to exonerate these men that they've fallen in love with once they're in prison. It's f**king weird as s**t. I just don't get it. I mean, I know that you can live in denial and think, Oh my gosh, she's innocent. But it's like everybody on the planet either watched a documentary about Alec Smart all. Or they watch part of the trial or they read some kind of news coverage of it. Do you remember in the staircase where like one of the people that was working falls? Yes. Oh my gosh. And then he gets out and dumps her well. And then not only is there like pretty strong circumstantial evidence that he pushed the wife down the staircase. And if he didn't, then his other wife previously also right, died for the same nefarious type activities. So you've got two dead ex-wives? Right? But the curveball to end all curveballs is he beats off to gay porn all the time. OK, so she knows this right? She knows about the gay porn. And then there was the gay misuse. I believe so. She's abundantly aware of all of this. This is this French woman, and she falls in love with him and they're supposed to move to Paris. Yak yak, blah blah. Of course he dumps her. I mean, it was just like awful. And it's just it's I am fascinated by. Why that would be healing, because I have picked, I mean, a ham zinger of a husband that has required a lot, right rehab stints. Right? I mean, really rough diamond that I have had to shine the s**t out of. And you've succeeded. And I can't imagine how you shine the s**t out of a murderer. No, I don't get it. And I can't believe that any woman would be interested in somebody that they killed their ex-wife but killed their child like they killed their own children. Sometimes people's dysfunction is so breathtaking. Right? We can either sit and be horrified by it, or we can say, thank god, we are f**king crushing life. That's what I'm going to say. I went up. I went up on the scale of bad pictures, like I'm no longer the infinity bottom scale. I'm up a few notches because of these women marrying and in love with guys in prison. Speaking of love letters. OK. In lieu of telling you in the listener what I've had it with? OK. Kylie brought a dam to my attention, which I interpret as a love letter. And after I read it will we'll debate amongst ourselves whether we think it's OK to love letter. All right. So A. Christopher six, six six. Get it ! Yeah. A. It took me a minute, but yeah. A. Christopher, six, says, I've had it with Jenny's psychotic negativity. My girlfriend and I are truck drivers. She listens to your podcast obsessively. And this lady is absolutely ruining my life. Jenny needs to stop brainwashing my girlfriend. Listen, I'm 36 years old and can find it highly entertaining sometimes, but my girlfriend is like 25 years old, and Gabby is highly entertained by this evil negative influence of Jenny. Everything she says. Gabby starts defending like the pay it forward thing at Starbucks. We don't even go to Starbucks. We drive a semi truck. But I find myself arguing with Gabby for an hour over. Pay it forward at Starbucks. And it's because Jenny says it's so, so she sides with her and argues with me. I've had it with Jimmy. I hate and love your show. It's funny sometimes and insightful on how women think, but I have to share the radio with Gabby, and when she drives, she gets to listen to anything she want. So I ask you to include a positive perspective as well. So, Christopher, I just want to say, first of all, thank you so much for the love letter. Love it because I am psychotic. I mean guilty as charged, right? And this podcast is called I've had it. So it has a negative premise to it. Spoiler alert A. Christopher 666 But I love that y'all are getting entertained and fighting over things that you don't even do because Christopher Gabby could be on drugs. You could have much bigger problems, right? So fighting over imaginary problems like stealth, Starbucks trips that never take place is a gift. Christopher, right? It is a gift, and it's a time passer. If you're at long haul truck driver, you got many hours in there with your spouse and the makeup sex after the fight. That's right, Christopher. I mean, Christopher, let's look at the positive word. We're looking at the positive. Let's look at the positives here. You're fighting with your wife about stuff that doesn't happen right away. You're probably getting great makeup. Sex in the semi. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. You are learning a lot about middle aged women, right? Yes. And you're learning how to identify psychotic negative behavior. And I'm really proud of you for calling me out, Christopher. I love it. I love it. I think it is a love letter. I think it is a total love letter to Christopher and Gabby. This episode is dedicated to the two of you, and I can't thank you enough. I'm flattered beyond anything that you took this much time. Look at how long this letter is. Single spaced YouTube. See how long this letter is. This is love, right? This is love from A. Christopher six, six six. And I'd also point out that as much as he's negative about the show, he kind of likes it a little bit. He says, I hate and love your show, right? That is. That's passion, right? OK. That is total passion because hate is really powerful and love is really powerful. But A. Christopher 666 has both, right? So that. Is like double the passion, right? Double the fun, he could jump off a building and fly with all that. f**k yes. A. Christopher, we love you. Thank you for the love letter. I'll I'll try to be more positive, but maybe that's a different podcast because this one is I've had it. There's no mystery going in. Speaking of, I've had it. I would like to welcome everybody to this wonderful podcast of ours called I've Had It. It is a podcast where you can come twice a week and dump all of your frustrations so that you can go back out into the world and feign serenity, contentment and be nice to people. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. We call her pops. I think she's still the star of the show, but we're getting some team Kylie stuff, which I'm totally into. Totally love team Kylie. And I saw to that where Team Jennifer, I'm just sayin. I mean, so I might be. Where's your love letter? I don't have one. So it may be that I am the supporting person. Do you know what wasn't mentioned in this manifesto from A. Christopher Me? You and the opposite of love is not hate. It's ambivalent. It is ambivalence. And he is ambivalent about me. I don't know if it was an oversight or he just went directly to, you know, they had big guns, big guns every year. Kylie, can you tell us what's going on? So listener, as you know that Kylie runs all the social media because pumps in are way too incompetent to do that, right? And so she's blown a bunch of this s**t up, right? So she goes over to Tik Tok, drops a grenade, goes over to Instagram, drops a grenade and everybody gets all riled up. Mm hmm. So, Kylie, give us a report from the trenches of social media, what's going on in the comment sections and on our accounts, on social media? I've actually got a really fun one today. OK, Alec Baldwin's oldest daughter, Ireland, Baldwin Kay, took the time to stitch our tick talk about home births on her own Tik Tok. And it's not positive. OK. Is she pregnant? Did I read that right? Yes. OK, so she's probably a home birth are for sure. To summarize your podcast, our podcast has pretty much driven her to think there should be no more podcasts. Oh, like cancel every podcast on the planet? Yeah. But I will say we have a couple people defending us. OK, that's nice, one user. It's a s**tty lunch, wrote a little. I love I've had it podcasts and just binged all their episodes. I think they'll get a kick out of your. She gets us. She totally gets us. But one person named Mare wrote, I like the clips from I've had it, but I couldn't get through a single episode. A for effort that couldn't get through it. Well, I would say Ireland Baldwin because I saw a little bit of this and it was like, Does everybody have to have a podcast? Is everybody have to have a podcast now? And I would just say Ireland is everybody have to have a tech talk, right? I mean, we can go all f**king day with this, you know, and here's the deal. We're just two women that have an opinion, right? And this is our opinion about it, right? If you want to have a home birth swing for the fences, yes. Knock yourself out. I'm not losing sleep on it. For me personally, it was a hospital for me personally. I don't want to hear about anybody's labor and delivery story, period, but also Ireland Baldwin. We got to come up with s**t to talk about, right? All right. We're pulling s**t out of our asses here and we get irritated by a lot of s**t, but we're not losing sleep on it, right? Support for today's episode comes from Jenny Cane Pants. I am freezing when I go over to your house because you keep it at like Arctic temperatures mark. It's a total morgue, but I am so grateful to have found Jenny Kane and their darling lightweight cashmere cardigans. You can wear them year round. So when I drive out to the suburbs, I look adorable in my Jenny Kane. But listener, that's not all Jenny Kane has. You can get onto their website and their fashion really embodies the California dream. Every single piece they have is classic, minimalist, timeless. I absolutely love Jenny Kane, and I've been able to integrate all of their pieces into my entire wardrobe and I can wear them all year round. Find your forever pieces at Jenny Kane icon. Our listeners get 15 percent off your first order. 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There's no safe, like SimpliSafe. All right, so today we have a big guest. She has one third of the lady gang. She is. She has a new show on CBS coming out called Superfan. That'll be fun. This is Keltie Knight. Keltie, how are you? Hi, hot ladies. Hello, how are you? I'm I'm so good. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm like stress eating Cheerios at 11:30 p.m. And you know, that's it. That's all I can say. That sounds like self-disciplined to me. If you're only stress eating Cheerios at 11. I like you ice cream at 11. If I had it in my house, I probably would've gone for that last night. But unfortunately, that's all gone. So I was like left with some granola and like, you know, a sour patch kid. And so, Keltie, you know, we we like to drag out dead horses and beat them over here. I've had it podcast great. There's a lot of f**kery going on out in the general public, and we're here to call it out. Analyze it and then leave it here so that when we go back out, we're somewhat decent people. So in that vein, can you tell us what you've had it with? Oh my gosh, there's so many things right now, but I would say, like my number one is I'm feeling like I have had it with the algorithm, the algorithm, whatever you are, whoever created you. It's just like, especially when you're a creator and like, you've spent your whole life garnering this little tiny fan base of people who have said, I'm going to follow you because I like what you're saying and I want to hear from you. And then you put your video or your podcast or your TV show up and people that the algorithm, whoever the f**k that is like, sorry, is like, No, no, no. Just because they said they want to follow you and see your content, we're going to decide if a whole bunch other strangers on the internet left a comment or liked it in the first 30 seconds before we show it to people who decided they liked you in the first place. I'm so sick of it because I'm also sick of internet people taking no offense to us and we're on the internet right now. But like, I used to be like, I'm a television host, and it used to be like when you need your car fixed, you go to the mechanic. When you need to learn algebra, you go to a math professor. When you need a television show hosted, you get a host right now. It's like now, no, no, no, you don't get a host anymore. You get someone who can't host. It's got a host 9000 million followers on Instagram. So your brand partners are happy and I'm sick of it. Yes. Yes. The algorithm, I mean, it's really it's really a window into your soul. A little bit like as far as your for you page, right? But then how like you get favored to get like so we when we started the podcast, Kylie was making all these reels and we were kind of blown up on Instagram. And then it just like went to a stop. Right? And I cast a lot. And so there was this woman that was kind of stalking us all over like, please quit cursing. Tell Jennifer to quit saying, God, damn, did all of this just makes me want to say it more? Right? So I'm pretty sure that she, like, reported us. So we think Kylie and I have a working theory that we got like shadow band because we got to 50000 followers and then it like stunted. And Kylie knows how to look at the data, and she was like, No, they're not sharing us anymore. Well, now it's recovered and we're like over 100000 followers or whatnot. But it it really is like they kind of cherry pick. And then you could have some skunk at the garden party who's pissed off because you say, f**k on the internet and then they have to go tattletale to Mark Zuckerberg. And then you get put in time out and it's like, Are you f**king kidding me? What about freedom and capitalism like? Why are y'all doing this to us? No, and I feel like they brought you in, like to talk, did that to me. Talk was like, You want to join Tic TAC? No, b***h, I don't want to join Tic TAC. I have four jobs, OK and a mortgage, and I'm trying to have sex with my husband at some point. Yeah, I don't have time to master another social media platform so that I can be important to the world of Hollywood. Like, No, I don't want to join Tok, but I join. And then all of a sudden the endorphins came because Tik Tok was like, We love you growing at a crazy rate 10000 new followers every week. Oh, keep putting out this content. You're amazing. And then it was like, Nope, we're done. We hooked you. We hooked you in right. Made you feel like Tik Tok. You could be a tech talker, right? And then we're putting a kibosh on it and we're stopping. And now you have no people seeing your videos, no new followers, and now you're stuck here trying to matter in another space. You don't matter and not having sex with your husband. But that's what they do. It's like they give us, you know, a little bit of cocaine and we're like, Yes, this is great. This is awesome. And then they take it away. But yeah, in this vein of algorithms, I think it would be fun to talk about celebrities for you pages. And so I did a little homework here and so we can all pontificate on these and I'll elaborate on these. But I just love you so much. I just love you. I feel like you are sorry. I just I just don't tell you how much I love you. Thank you. Go on. Steps away from the Saturday Night Live skit buckyballs. Do you remember sweaty balls when they sit around and they're like, Oh, we're selling sweaters. The balls are said when you just use the word pontificate. It really brought me joy in a special region. How could you cry? So let's imagine Melania Trump's four year page. OK, I'm going to tell you guys what I think pops up on her four year page and then you can in. OK. OK, first, I think that there are probably ads for discreet vibrators, for sure. A hundred percent. I bet there is some hate watching of the Michelle Obama podcast highlights. Yeah. You remember when she plagiarized? Yeah. So OK, maybe there is a Google search for the best out of state boarding schools? Right? Then she wouldn't even have the kid as a buffer. And here's my favorite how to kill your husband slowly without a trace. See, that's what I was going to guess was top of her for you page. How do I get rid of this motherf**ker? I mean, like the quickest possible way on the planet, but I don't want to get caught. Right. And I want to get the money right. So I got to be a little bit discreet about it. She's really walking a tightrope there. Yes, she is. I feel like she loves s**tty reality TV and like Monica, is laying awake at night just like immersed in scandal of all. Yeah, it's a it's a release for me. So I'm like, She's watching Selling Sunset and second of all and the New York Housewives being like. I need to escape from my life. No, no s**t about that. The bachelor's, where she needs to be, that woman needs to have an affair. She needs to put it on her Instagram page. So everybody knows that she had an affair because I think I'd like her more than Melania having an affair. I could. I could visit that for like a year on end. Just I mean, just when when Trump screwed Stormy Daniels right and she revealed the details of his penis, I mean, pumps, and I talk about it still to this date, right? Like, what about him having a mushroom c**k? What does it say about me that I'm more interested in Melania's like blow out like blow? And how does it stay so puffy all day long, right? Yeah. Is it extensions? Is it back combing? It's using a hair powder like, I need a Melania. Get ready with me. Tick tock. Tick tock. I'm like, Get ready with me to go to Mar a Lago and then the whole blow. Love it ! OK, great one. OK. Gwyneth Paltrow's for you, Paige. I love Gwyneth so much. I love her so much. OK, go ahead. Bone broth recipes. 100 percent. Love it ! Brad Pitt videos hot. Yeah. Yeah, I ha-. You know, he's probably pretty good in the sack too. I would. He looks like he's got big dick. But what's her face? Gwyneth was just on call her daddy, and she said that Brad was like, Love of your life. Amazing. But Ben Affleck was technically excellent. Oh, I didn't even know she dated Ben Affleck. Yes, she dated Ben Affleck after Brad, I guess, or before. I don't even remember that era. I remember because I always thought of her. Yeah. Anyway, so just let you know technically you'd want Ben. Wow. OK, technically, perhaps a search on her for you page how to become a successful cult leader. Love it with the Goop stuff ! And then finally, is Ozempic gluten free? It's so good. It's so good. I mean, I don't want to be that person. It's like bone broth changed my life, but bone broth did change my life. Please don't hate me and don't be like I'm over bone broth, but it really did change my life. But here's what I think is she's looking on it. She's looking on her for you, Paige, and it's like the RO. It's like all of the brands because she at that court case looked so fabulous and crushed it. Just all right. She launched this whole thing of like the quiet luxury. Like, it is not cool that actually rich people are not wearing like Gucci sneakers and Louis Vuitton tracksuits and stuff like whoever is wearing. The really rich people are wearing a bag from the row that has no label, no no hardware, no anything looks like. Could you have gotten a target or is it the row like? We don't know. And actually, I think Gwyneth is doing us a huge favor because she's saying like this like understated, quiet luxury of like, you don't see my label's, well, good. Now I can go to the gap, I can get the rip off of that sweatshirt and I can pretend that it's whatever fancy brand Gwyneth is wearing that's made out of baby angel wing hair. I don't like s**tty plastic bottles, but whatever, and I can pretend that I'm rich. Like, you don't have to have the flashiness which I love. I just want to tell you, Keltie and the listener, that as we're discussing this, I myself am wearing Gucci. That's the first thing I thought I'm going to shoot. Initiated that because I would say that I'm a nouveau riche, you know, kind of a shoe riche kind of person. I do love a label. I love that when you're Gwyneth, you know, she can rock whatever she wants to. But I'm really shallow and pretentious when it comes to labels, and I really, really like them like me too. I'm like, I need to walk in with my Dior handbag. So, you know, I mean business because my face and this hair, like it's not giving generational wealth like the vibe, you know, they mean you have to have the right, but you have to have the vibe like, you don't care. Like, you mostly only fly private. Like, I don't have that vibe. I'm still filled and oozing desperation, saying, so I need you to know that I'm desperate. But I also was good with my money and can buy myself that head back right right where we're only partially thirst trap. Got our s**t together. Ambitious little whippersnappers with a side of thirst trap. Just a little side, not the entourage. So my kids, my husband's worse than I am about labels is the worst. My kids, when we do Christmas or birthday star, I was like, Please do not buy us any hype baby stuff. And I'm like, Well, first of all, what's hype beast? And I figure out that's like label stuff. And then I'll tell Josh, my husband, our kids are much better people than we are. Like they they do not want. Anything to do with this overpriced, vapid designer s**t that defines you and I and we go shopping together and have this crazy, orgasmic bonding experience at the Gucci store and our kids want nothing from there. So if I've done one good thing in life, it is taking my horrible, shallow pretentiousness and not projecting that onto my children. I can't believe I did that. Well, it was funny because she called me around Christmas time and guess I just got Dylan's Christmas list. He once used clothing. You know it's crazy. Yeah, there's a there's a young woman who who works for me and she's one of the no trash people like we went on tour with my podcast, my podcast, Lady Gang. We went on tour this fall and we're on a tour bus and like, it's just McDonald's and like garbage and s**t everywhere. And she's one of those people that does her whole year in one mason jar, like doesn't use plastic like a no trash thing. She's never bought anything new in her life. Everything in her house comes from Facebook Marketplace. Everything, all of her clothes are used and from goodwill like everything she she's one of those people, and I look at her and I was like, What is it like to not like, go on the real real at 3:00 in the morning and buy a shoe? You don't need like, what are you? I mean, I know I'm paying you garbage fees right now, but like, what are you doing with this terrible salary that I'm paying you? Where does it go? What do you? You don't buy anything like? It's crazy, but the youths, they really have it. They have that figured it out, and I think it's really cool. I think it's so cool. I'm not it. No, I'm not. I'm way too shallow and pretentious. But my children, they totally thrift. They love all of that. And I just think it's super cool. And that generation is just so much more socially aware. Like Kylie, our producer, her girlfriend on it owns a store in Oklahoma City called the Library. And you buy a clothing membership so you go in and you can like check out your clothes that you need for the week and then you return them and they launder them. So each week you go and you rent a different piece of clothing and then you return it. It's the smartest thing on the planet, right? That's so smart that like the rag, the normies, as I would call them, are library is great. And honestly, Kylie producer, you need to get out. You need to make that into a franchise with your girl and get, you know, get going because that's a that's a business. Yeah, now they're sharp and they're just as pretty as they can be. I mean, the prettiest Les's you've ever seen. I mean, these can also like be darling. She didn't f**k with her up there. Didn't f**k with her face. Right, exactly. Pumps, I feel like we're just beacons not only of mental health, but of physical health. Yes, these probiotics from Just Thrive have got my gut in check. But most importantly, your gut in check. I know it's been a game changer. Spoon free up the dairy air. Am I right? You are correct. And the dogs are on the probiotics and the French cheese gas is getting so much better. But I also love these psycho biotics from just thrive because I can tend to be a little crazy. Have you noticed me being nicer around the podcast set? Yes. Do I need to double my dosage? Take listener if you're ready to take control of constipation, as Pump's has tackled bloat, stress and live your healthiest life. Yet you can get 20 percent off your first 90 day bottle of just calm and just thrive. Probiotic today, visit Just Thrive Health dot com and use promo code had it. Let's get back to our algorithm analysis. Another billionaire, Jeff Bezos. Hmm. OK, I envision Rogaine commercials. I envision searches. How does a short bald man keep a hot, sexy Latina woman satisfied in the bed? Have you guys seen his girlfriend? She is. She's gorgeous. I'm sure he's taller and cuter and better in bed when he stands on his wallet. I think there's probably hundreds of billions of reasons to believe one million percent that he's pretty good in the bed. Yeah. Next, we envision him probably searching what is Bill Gates net worth competition? And then finally, how to destroy shopping malls? Yeah. Dan Childs, we're real. Close. OK, let's go down. So I'm going to tell you what this is what Kylie wrote that she thinks mine would be. So my first one would be a compilation of Rafa Nadal's greatest moments. Yeah, you know who Rafa is, don't you? Yes. Yes, yes, OK. The next would be French bulldog Ticktalk, for sure. And then Google searches. Does Gucci make pickleball outfit, you know? And then finally, just the New York Times daily word, which I'm completely addicted to. I mean, multiple group tags, right? I mean. Before 6:00 a.m., I'm already kicking a*s on Myrtle every morning, so perhaps we envision her going to BuzzFeed and taking a quiz. Am I gay? Next is Gabrielle Union divorce rumors. To give you a view of Dwayne Wade, I love Gabrielle Union. I mean, I love Dwayne Wade, but I think Gabrielle Union is like, so perfect in every way. She's so gorgeous. It's ridiculous, and she's super smart. So let me let her in on the hook here. Keltie, I believe, pumps as a closet lesbian, right? And this is something we're exploring. So that's why Gabrielle Union is like her number one crush, you write. So, so third, on your list would be women's softball highlights that might be first. Yeah, she loves. She loves women's softball. And then lastly, an online lifeguard certification course. f**k all. She's making so much fun of me because I was a lifeguard and swimming lessons teacher when I was in high school. No, I guess it was college, and she's like, You would be the worst because you're a terrible swimmer, blah blah blah blah. And I'm like, f**k off. I had no idea because we have traveled together extensively and we've been in the floaty, many swimming pools together, and she is like, not a good swimmer at all. If I was in the middle of a pool, the last person I would think would dive in and pull me up and perform CPR. Is this woman next to me? That's because I'd be trying to hold you down, hoping that you would die because you're so mean. OK, I like it. I like wow friendship, you know? That's right. Kelly, tell us what's on your for you page. OK? First of all, baby monkeys love love. I have a lot of inspirational quotes because I'm boogie like that and I'm a basic b***h. Oh, I have a lot of like stars, old face versus stars, new face. So I guess that's good on that content. Obviously, I would like that. All right, Kielty, it's time to play our game. Had it or hit it, I'm going to list some things off. You tell us if you've had it with it or if you would hit it. Oh my god. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it at it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right, Harry Styles hit it. Totally. Yeah, I think he's darling. I think he's so cute. Kissed me twice. Real. Shut up with Typekit. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. OK, just a peck. OK, little peck on the cheek. Is he Taylor? Short, tall? Oh, really? Oh gosh. I was hoping he was tall. He's not tall, tall, like my husband. Six six, which is like huge fine clothes that fit you. He's probably like six foot five, 11. Like he's he's tall in heels. He's taller than me, but I mean, I read I read that you were an NBA cheerleader, and so with your husband being 66, was he an NBA player? Now he's a lanky music manager. Gotcha. OK. OK. Lanky Hollywood guy. OK, had it or hit it. You know, the standing walkways and airports that escalators people that stand on them had it. Yeah, I've had it. It's terrible. If you're choosing the fast lane, choose the f**king fast. A great, you know how fast you choose the fast line and then stand in the middle when I can't even it clear. This is actually one of my one of my things. I was going to tell you that I've like I've had it with is like the ability of Americans to not understand how airports work and how lines work. Yeah, like in Canada, it's we're part of the Commonwealth. It's like the Queen's rest in peace world and we know how to like it's your boarding group. Go to the front of the line. It's you're on the moving walkway, please. It's the ladies literally like, please, if you're standing, go to the right side. And before it's like that, I'm like, Oh my God, you had one job moving walkways. So annoying. Agree. I completely agree. It drives me. f**king crazy airports send me into orbit. So my orbit. My husband and I love to go to London and we like to take the tube everywhere. And you get on these escalators and the British are so awed. Everybody knows what everybody stands on the right side. If you want to stand, I'm a walker. I like to walk. If I'm on an escalator, I'm like, I might as well just move it. There's no reason to just stand there and be lazy. Might as well just keep your heart rate up. But in America, you can't. You can't. Somebody has blocking the entire escalator with their suitcase, with their f**king Stanley Cup on their phone, playing f**k and some, you know, casino game and digging away and it drives me bananas. In London, you can just troll right past him. So when I get on those moving walkways, I've gotten very assertive and very aggressive, which is hard for you to believe Celtic, please. I do. I say passing. I'm passing you to your right to right. I'm on your left, I'm on your left. I'm just like, I'm not tolerating this. If you want to stand on this machine, that is like peak laziness. I mean, it's absolutely peak laziness. There's no reason because you're going to get on a plane more than likely fly for two to three to four hours, go ahead. And just like burn those calories. Why everybody is so adverse to walking now, it just really is bizarre to me, because from an evolutionary standpoint, we had to walk a lot. And now all of a sudden, everything is like, How can we walk less? And I'm like, Where did this come from? That we're as a society trying to walk less drives me crazy. And I don't mind if you're walking less. If you stand to the right, you can crawl. That's right, that is your deal. If you want to be a lazy slob, that's fine. You know, you had a lot going on this day. You're wearing an uncomfortable shoe. Perhaps you have a shin splints. I mean, stay out of my way because I'm powering through because I've arrived late and I need to get to my gate. Yeah, and I need this small amount of cardio. I'm trying to make my steps and I'm going to get in line of coffee bean and I need a full copy before I get on this plane and I did not. There's no order ahead at Coffee Bean. I agree. OK, had it or hid it. Twitter I hit it. I love it. Everyone, please go. Follow me on Twitter. I have a new show coming out. You're going to Twitter vote. It's going to trend on Twitter. And that's going to say Twitter is the only social media platform that actually reports to the Nielsen television ratings. So if you love your show, if you love jury duty or Bridgerton or whatever you're watching and you want it to not get cancelled, then you should definitely be tweeting about it. I like it. I know all that while you're at it. Tweet about I've had it podcast. OK, these next. Had it or hit it. Get ready with me. I hit it because it's the easiest content to make and it does the best. And people really seem to love it. But you got to be telling good stories. You can't just be like doing the eyeliner. Like, I like it as a thing of like. It's like, Get ready with me is what the blog was 10 years ago where you would like, write a blog like my favorite, you know, household items or our our trip to Arizona. You know, like, I like to get ready with me. I mean, I would like to go live in a hut and throw my phone in the ocean and never come back to Hollywood at this moment. Right, right. But I like to get ready with me, and I want to say I would get ready with both of you. That's so that's so nice. I've had it with get ready with me. I know. I just I know. No, but I appreciate I like your position on it. I think it's good. OK. Gender reveal parties. Well, I hate babies, so nobody invites me to their gender reveal party. I don't hate babies. We do a childless wonder. And I. I feel strongly that I. Reserve the right to decide if I enjoy your child and I will decide, I will decide if I like them when they're five. And because that is when you have trained them and they have their personality is what it's going to be. And I like for me. Listen, there's a couple exceptions, but the blobs, like, I'm not into the blobs. I don't understand them. I'm not like, excited when you like kind of smile. Like, I kind of smile when I pooping to like, I don't know that this is like a sign of us having a moment. I like little children that have the soul of an 84 year old, right? If you don't have that kind of child, I'm not interested in being a part of that. I I feel you on that and I'm going to get canceled. So now we're the. We buy babies all the time. I mean, episode one of our podcast is called Toddlers are a*****es. So I mean, you're welcome here. This is safe territory. But I think kids should be liked on a case to case basis. Anybody who says, Oh, I love kids, it's kind of a red flag for me. I mean, because there's a lot of a*****e kids running around acting like a*****es whose parents think that behavior is adorable and that we're all supposed to think it's cute. Nobody really is doing anything about these kids. I mean, they're just getting all this power. They're little tyrants. And I've had it. Kelsey had, let me tell you, so I have a great story about kids. Oh yeah, that that kid that gets do whatever they want. I had an intern once when I this was back when I was working at Entertainment Tonight. I bet it now, but I had an intern and they were like, Here's your intern. And I was like, great, and I had to do an interview with Slut Flo Rider. The singer know barely a singer, but a singer. And I was like, Hey, whatever your name is, intern, I'm going to New York. I'm an interview flow rider. I need you to like, put together a package of, like all of his records, how many hits he has, the career awards, like everything about him. So I can just figure out like where I'm going to go in this interview, like research, you know? So I send them on their way. And six hours later, this girl comes back to my office and she goes. And I said, OK, what do we got? What do we got? Show me, show me where she goes. It was just really hard because when you put Flo Rida into Google, it just comes up with a lot of stuff about Florida. No, no. Shut up. And I was like, Earth is not for you. Someone gave you trophies when they shouldn't have. You are an 18 year old person about to graduate from high school or college or whatever. And like, someone has done you dirty. They told you you were great when you were not great. This is the most subpar brain s**t I've ever seen in my life. And so that's what happens when you make people think that your child is cute and smart when it's just not, you're tapping into something. Yeah, I think is not getting enough coverage, and I think you just f**king hit the nail on the coffin. And that is, people are doing their children dirty by telling them how great they are, because then they go out into the real world and it comes crashing down on them and they find out they're mediocre at best. More than likely below average. So then they go back home and their parents are like, Oh my God, you're so great little Billy. You're amazing, you're awesome. And they go, Get a job and their boss is like, Billy, you f**kin suck everything about you. Suck your hair sucks. Your outfit sucks the way you speak sucks. You sent s**tty emails. You're fired. And then you find out all these people are in their 20s are still living at home. And I probably would, too, if my parents thought I was so spectacular all the time. But my parents always gave me a pretty strong dose of reality. Yeah, my everything. I mean, my parents did not love me. Oh, no time for me and I've never won anything, and no one told me I was great. And that's why I'm highly successful. I'm not successful on the internet. Like, get ready with me. Still successful, right? But I'm like, you know, like a girl that has like a 401k. I call it sexy, mature, like I've got a four one k. I got my s**t together. I got a good skincare routine. I got four jobs right. I got a couple of awards like, I'm in a nice shoe closet. I'm good. I think you're a winner. Kelty. I mean, I would take your hustle and your depth over the Get Ready With Me star any day because there's depth and I'm not interested in having friends that haven't been through some s**t, right? Because I like friends that have depth. And I think in order to have depth, in order to be a better person, you've kind of been through some s**t and you're able to talk about it. Some people have gone through s**t and they just sweep it under the rug and haven't grown at all. And those are usually s**tty friends. Last but not least. At home, tick tock dancers, so I know you were a professional dancer, so you see, like the husband and wife that are that have learned to dance and they're doing it together and they put it on Tik Tok had it or hit it because I feel like you hate me so much, OK? I also am going to I know you're going to had it with it. I am going to hit it. I don't like. Well, here's the thing. Yes, I love dance. So I was really excited when Tik Tok was really a dancing platform, and I'm very cringy about that now because during the pandemic, I did every dance. There was like a cyclone in my living room on TikTok, and I'm like, Wow, that's really embarrassing now, and I look at it. But here's the thing. TikTok dances are very powerful. They are the get ready with me of television and elders. And so I just actually, I know I'm going to ask you guys to do this. I'm putting you on the spot. There's a TikTok Instagram dance for my show superfan where you just put on a t shirt of something you love. Like it could be Diet Coke, it could be Gucci. It could be like Garth Brooks, whatever. And it's very easy and you do it and then you post it. And then hopefully the song the theme song to the show will go up the TikTok charts, and then hopefully that'll help the television show get another season. I'm an evil genius. I'm doing like I'm in the 90s. Do you remember when he had a song called Men in Black? Of course the man in Black. What the f**k is that song about? But it was first movie. It was like a whole 360. And so I'm trying to do the same thing I'm promoting on all channels, so I'm really into the TikTok dances until this show either gets cancelled or picked up for season two, in which that point I will decide if I'm still going to do TikTok dances. OK, spoiler alert for everyone love. I love them. I do, too. It's called black heart of mind when I see a husband and wife or, like, you know, a couple of millennials or a couple of Gen Z, or it's just in their normal clothes, in their house doing a little dance. I love it. I think it's darling. It warms my heart. I absolutely love it. Even even a*****es, even a*****es like me, have moments of kindness, Keltie. Wow. I know Kelsey. I cannot thank you enough. You are so fun. So much fun. Bye, guys. Thank you. Thank you so much. I mean, I think it's kind of fun to envision what Melanie is for you, pages. Yeah, I mean, I when you. You took mine. Know when you said how to kill your husband and not get caught, I mean that I would have to think would be the top. Over and over and over. You know, apparently when they lived in the White House, they didn't even share a bedroom. I've heard they don't at Mar a Lago, either. Yeah, but look at him. I mean, would you want to know? I don't care how cute he is on his wallet. He's a dog. No. And his mouth. I could even take the looks problem before I could take the mouse. I mean, if you duct taped his lips together, it's just terrible. I feel sorry for listener. Please send us a voice memo to Instagram that I've had it podcast. Tell us what you've had it with until we see you next Thursday. Thanks pops so much for always being so much fun and a bright ray of sunshine. We will see you next Tuesday, and right now I'm going to deal with this content. I was going to just say the same thing about you. What I've about. I've had it with that. I'm Delta work. Legendary Emmy award winning drag queen from RuPaul's Drag Race and the host of Very Delta, the world's premiere luxury public access podcast and YouTube talk show where I look gorgeous, speak extemporaneously and invite fascinating guests to sit on the couch and get very delta. New episodes of Very Delta come out every Monday, and you can find them by searching Very Delta wherever you get your podcasts or watch it on the Mom podcast YouTube channel.
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