The Green River Killer

Transcript

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You can even get custom leather stamping or branding that will make your boots truly one of a kind. Look up at your closest store onto cobas dot com if you can't make it into a store to delivers the most premium quality and most comfortable Western goods right to your door. Visit to cobas dot com that's t e c o v ask.com and point your toes west. Maybe I'm just like weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the 70s with Lindsie Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards, and in all of these people write their children's accomplishments all the back. I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. I'm joined Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea is the tea. Here's Lindsey. Good morning, and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea this week, I have IRAs with me and we are going to do a little bit of a different episode by a little bit the same. I think that she posted and the official Facebook group about questions and stuff that you guys have as listeners. So I want to make sure that we get through those. And also just wanted to address the elephant in the room that Kristen has not been on the podcast or has not been working because she has been in the hospital. So please make sure that you guys send well-wishers and say a prayer for her if you believe in prayer. Good morning, Iris. Hey, good morning. How are you? I am good. Actually, my voice started going a couple of days ago and I feel like I am raspy. McGee and I don't know what it's from. The weather's been changing here a little bit, and I always get a little bit of seasonal allergies, so I don't know if something's blooming or whatever it is. But if you guys feel like I sound different, that is probably why I took this weekend to do a ton of self-care things and it feels so good. Yesterday, I went to church and then went to the this wellness spa and did a bed that's supposed to be really good for people with anxiety, PTSD. I think it's good for fibromyalgia like so many different benefits, and I did this bed and put the headphones on and I was a little bit scared because I'm not much into doing like new stuff or stuff that seems like. I don't know, just like not mainstream. So I put these headphones on, and the lady that owns the place was telling me she was like, Hey, you're going to fall into like a deep sleep and it's going to be like a very deep sleep. So don't be surprised. I'm setting the bed for one hour. And when I tell you, I woke myself up snoring two different times and I'm like, Wow, I am really either really tired or really not OK, or possibly really both. And I also did a facial right before I went into this little bed, and later this week, I'm going to go and do the Salt Cave. I don't know if you've ever done one before, so I'm going to do that and then I'm going to do a salt stone massage. And I don't know if anybody's listening has ever done that either, but I'm just like on some new stuff, trying out some new things, trying to focus on self-care. And I'm going to cook at home pretty much all this week, except for tonight, because I am going to find something new to bend and I'm going to order Chinese and sushi. So that's what I've been up to. Oh, Chinese and sushi? Got it. Yes, because here's the thing I love the places that have both options there because I love a Chinese noodle. And if anyone does not know this, I'm here to tell you because I did not know this for thirty four years that you can order Chinese without me, she added. And so I started ordering the Chinese noodles. They're like the browned ones or whatever, and I get the vegetable ones and then I get a sushi roll to go with it, and it's like the best meal ever. Oh, it's so good. Years, wellness experience sounds. I was really getting. I'm starting to feel relaxed, just listening, and I think I'm in a few weeks. I'm going to also turn thirty four and I'm going to give myself just like a full spa day. Oh my gosh, it's so nice leaving from church and feeling like I got like my spiritual self in check and then going to the Wellness Spa on a Sunday and spending the rest of the afternoon. There was so nice and I just feel like it was so good for my mental health and my emotional health, just doing those types of things and taking time truly to do activities alone. I feel like I grew up with a huge family and we always were doing stuff together. And then when I went to college, I had will. So he and I were always doing stuff together and then we had Jackson. So then it was like all three of us. And then I got in a relationship post divorce, and then we were always together. And then with Trent, we were always together. So just like trying to find that time for me to sit with myself alone has been really, really good for me. I also had what I like to call a lonely dinner, and there should be no negative like connotation made when I'm saying that because I really enjoy sometimes just like grubbing alone. Yeah, I do, too, actually. I think especially because, well, I don't know about you. I don't know about Jackson, but like my kids pick a lot of my food. I don't mind it usually. And they're picky eaters, so they don't always want what I'm eating. But sometimes it's just sometimes I'm so overstimulated when I'm eating. I think that actually causes me to overeat, sometimes because it takes me so long to get through a meal. I don't even know when I got food or not. But yeah, have you ever gone out to a restaurant, though, by yourself? And I did last night, I just went to a local place. It's not busy, hardly ever and or sat at the bar by myself, got a pasta dish, had a mojito for my nightcap and came home, took a hot girl shower, got on the couch, watched the next part of the Myrtle documentary on Fox Nation and just was by myself like folded laundry. Put clean sheets on the bed. Try to go to bed last night at a decent hour, like when I tell you my teeth were brushed, my skin care was done, my retainer was in by 7:45 and I was in the bed. That is no lie. Pitch black in my room. All fans on sound machine on. If you are a type of person like me that you have to have multiple different devices in your room for sound. I love you because I very much relate to you. All of my things were going and I was like, You know what? I am going to go to sleep so early and I'm going to be ready for pool parties in the morning. Ma'am, I tossed and turned until 1:00 o'clock this morning, had a dream that all of my spreadsheets from my Google Drive were deleted. Oh my gosh, I woke up in a sheer panic. Looked for my laptop because I was like, Oh my God, like is. Have you ever had a dream where you're like, OK, is this actually real? Or did I just make this up? Yeah, all my dreams are like that. I'm a super lucid dreamers, though sometimes I'm like, This isn't real. Oh my god. So I went and fetched my laptop looks on my Google Drive, and I was like, Oh s**t, all my spreadsheets are still there. Like, I'm good. My alarm went off at 7:30 this morning. I looked over at it and I was like, I quite literally went to sleep 20 minutes ago. So if you think that I'm getting up and being a pilates queen this morning, not happening. So I got to brush my teeth, wash my face and started a load of laundry to try to feel somewhat productive and started going through my emails. But plot to use was not happening today, and I feel like I have truly had to lean into not everything that I have planned a day before has to happen the next day just because I had it planned. And it's been so good for me, like I had no plans today to go and get my nails done. That is going to happen at some point today. I am also going to have another lonely dinner and another lonely lunch, and I cannot wait for it. OK, that sounds amazing. All that sounds amazing. And going back to what you said about your incredible Sunday, my birthday lands on a Sunday, so I'm going to do just that. I'm going to go to church on my birthday. I'm going to have my spa day and I can't wait for that. And I hope I'm craving sushi or Chinese that day, too. So I could just recreate that lovely day you had last night when we were texting, you were like, I'm in bed. My kids weren't even granted. I'm an hour, you're an hour ahead of me. But I was like, This girl is in her crib or what? Like, it's literally 6:30 p.m. What are you doing? So I think I was setting myself up for straight success. However, success did not come, and I just accepted that failure. And then I have tried so hard to not get and like lost in the scroll. And I know that we've talked about that before, but I had nothing to do like there was no where I needed to be, no one I needed to talk to. Nothing that I needed to be doing. So I was like, Oh, let me scroll and I keep coming across all of these mediums that I'm like, Oh, wow, my trauma is really speaking because I think this is funny. Like, this is in fact not really funny, but it's frickin hilarious. You're like, Oh, that sense of humor has returned. Wonderful, wonderful. Like, sometimes it's good. Listen, I feel like all of my siblings have a little bit of a sick and twisted sense of humor, and I don't know if it's from the trauma or if that's just how we were built, but things that we think are funny. Most people probably are like, Wow, you're really demented, like you're really sick and twisted, and there's nothing about that that is funny. But then I'll stay post on it because I just think it's hilarious. Yeah, so funny. Hey, and also when we were talking about your like when you have a list of things to do when I've done that has helped me tremendously is I create my to do list for the week, for the day or whatever. And then I just at the top put like, must do. And I only promised myself at least one thing that takes priority. And then the rest are like, Try to get to this, you know, like if you just are realistic, because if you look at all of it, you just get overwhelmed and you don't do any of it or you're kind of just feeling like crap at the end of the day when you're like, Oh, cool, I only accomplished one thing, but really, one thing is all you really need to say. Well, I got that done. So I always try to be like, What's the one thing for certain that I have to do today or this week? And it kind of makes me feel a little less guilty? Oh, one hundred percent, actually. My older sister, who is still one of my best friends, Heather, her dad, sent me a meme and it was so funny, he said. When you are full of enthusiasm, say you pulled everything out to start decluttering and you say to yourself, Oh s**t, I have made a huge oh my mistake. Ma'am, that was me with my shoes last week. Like the amount of shoes, I have more shoes, I think, than I have outfits. So I was like, Oh, this will be good. I'm going to pull everything out of my garage that I have, like, piled up the shoes, you know, like how you worn shoes and you don't want to bring them man to you. Just take them off in the garage whenever you enter. And then they remain there for like months and seasons and you're like, Wow, I really should do something with those. So brought all of that stuff in, took everything out of my. Was it on my shoe racks or shoe shelves, whatever you want to call them? And I started looking at everything and I'm like, Wow, like, this is not really what I was expecting. I thought I was going to be a little bit more enthusiastic when I got all of this stuff off of the shelves, and I could go through everything and like, OK, the treads on these shoes aren't that great, so I'm going to go ahead and get rid of them, ma'am. I couldn't purge any shoe. I was like, Nope, I wear this with this, and I wear this with that, and I'll probably wear this with this. Like, what is wrong with me? My obsession with shoes. So just let me say that I had at least like, I'm not exaggerating 40 pairs of shoes before Hurricane Harvey hit, I lost all my shoes. I was. So I was like the hardest thing for me to lose because it took me years to build that collection. Shoes are just for me, like the main piece of my outfit most of the time. And so all the time. What size are you? A seven and a half? What size are you? Seven and a half. I feel like we are just like the standard shoe size for the American woman now. That is standard, right? I do get a little jealous because I feel like there are like, I want dunks, but I feel like my foot is too. You're also super tiny, like I'm a little more. I'm a little more meaty. OK, so I'm just I feel like if I wore those shoes, it wouldn't look right. I feel like girls were like six and a half size six feet. I can wear any shoe they want and look cute, and I'm jealous of that. Listen, if I had a six and a half shoe, I would have so many issues because I feel you on that when you're so small and seven and a half is not a big shoe, but I feel like when you are so tiny yet to be real careful about what you put on your feet, why? What do you mean? Because when your body so tiny, sometimes you lose like you lose a certain type of way, even though you don't have big feet because everything else is so tiny, it makes you feel like you have big feet. All right. Yeah, I'm not trying to be walking around like goofy around here. So but I do. Yeah, it's like, imagine having that dainty little tiny six size six size six and a half. And then I feel like they always get good like marked down shoes because it's not like a super common size. But seven a half is pretty. I think it's like, I wonder what everyone we should do like a poll like what size and shoe do you wear? And my sisters of Rank and Serial, I'm pretty sure my sister is like a nine or a nine and a half. And so we never we never shared shoes, which thank God, because that would have just been a disaster. But I was so worried that I was going to have big feet because I have not grown since I was in eighth grade. Like, I have been the same size since then. Yeah, and you want to know what's crazy? Same for my sister, though, but she's taller. Savannah's taller, too, right? How tall is she like? Five, seven five eight. Yeah. So I mean, it's proportionate. Makes sense. But I guess since I real weird and like personal bit, I started my menstrual cycle at nine years old. So like, I grew up, like I grew so fast. Like so in fifth sixth grade, I was like the tallest, biggest one, and then I just never grew after that. So, yeah, so eventually everyone like surpassed me and I always thought I was going to. I mean, born ten pounds like grew really felt like I always thought I was going to be this like super tall I wanted to. I kind of wanted to be like five, eight, five nine. But now I'm like five, two and a half five, three. Maybe you're five four, right? Yeah, I'm five, four and a quarter, and that quarter matters. It does. It does. Yeah, like on a good day. I'm five three, for sure. Oh my God. No. But I have not grown since then. And so when I had like a size seven and a half shoe in eighth grade, I told my parents I was like, I think I'm going to go to China and like, have my feet bound. And they were like, Are you out of your f**king? Like, Are you out of your mind? Yeah, it's like nobody just wants to like, walk around and feel like there's like, like they're on skis, you know? Yeah. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, and we regularly say, so are we super focused on my eating and my physical health, as well as getting so much water? And the IQ mix has been phenomenal for my water intake. I've been drinking that stopped two times a day. Honey, I love the IQ mix because I don't drink enough water unless it tastes good, so the IQ makes men living for it. If you're twenty, twenty four resolutions involve leveling up your diet. You can start right with IQ bars, brain and body boosting bars, hydration mixes and mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler Pack includes all three. 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Just text T to sixty four thousand. Get your discount text to sixty four thousand. That's T to sixty four thousand. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Celebrate Pancake Tuesday with Dunnes Stores whip up a batch with fresh eggs, six for one, you're a 40 or choose an eight pack of our ready made pancakes for just one Euro 15. Then add your favorite toppings like a sprinkle of sugar with forty nine cent lemons or chocolate and hazelnut spread. 400 gram jar only one euro twenty 25. And for that finishing touch, you can say with a five of 25 grocery voucher, Dunnes Stores always better value terms. Conditions apply. Voucher could be used on in-store grocery shop of ?25 more. Before we get carried away. Go ahead and ask me whatever questions were on there, I have not had an opportunity even through my scrolling to go and look so far away. All right. This will be fun since we're on the topic of siblings and all that people have asked. Have you spoken with any of your a lot of people actually asked what its contact with your siblings? Do you talk to any of them? If so, who do you talk to? Who to talk to? The most things like that. So share what you like. Yes, the short answer is just yes. I do have contact with a few of my siblings, a few of my siblings. I do not. And just for privacy, for all parties that are involved, it's not really anybody's business who I'm communicating with, who I'm not communicating with, but there is communication that goes on. I talk to my nanny every single day. You know, I feel like we have all been through so much. And even though it's been the same journey with some of the stuff, some of the staff is also very different. And I feel like life hit all of us so hard, so fast. And so I think we're all going through individual trauma is that some we share and some are very different. And so I think that we just have to give grace to each other. And for some of us, that means to respect each other from a distance. And for some of us, it's OK to have some communication and some communication with boundaries. Yeah, I 100 percent agree with that. I think you guys have all been handling everything as fast as you possibly could can. And then you did mention nanny. Everyone wants an update on Nanny Fay. I think she has been gambling, going to visit my dad hanging out in Nashville. She actually called me the other day and she said, I'm going to come and see you. And I was like, OK, well, when is that going to be? And she was like, I don't know. I'll just like, you know, what is the deal with people getting old? And they revert back to the point that they think that they're a teenager and their schedules are so flippant? 1Z that's so funny. My grandpa just turned ninety four, and he's the other day. Well, he turned 94 on the 28th of January, and I'm like, Oh, you know, happy birthday. He's like, Yeah, your brother didn't call me, but f**k all that noise. Oh my god, I I just don't understand. Like, they lose all sense of f**ks to be given. They have actually no schedule left, and I don't know if it's because they still view you as a little child for me, like as a little girl, that it means that like I'm still coloring and leaves different coloring books all day. But like, that's in fact not what is happening. So for me, I'm like, OK, can you give me some forewarning of like when you're planning on coming because I need to rearrange my day or just clear my calendar for the day so that I can spend time with you because time is very limited and I want to be very intentional about my time, right? So I'm like, Can you just give me a little bit of a heads up like, I also would like to have enough time to go to the grocery store, put something in the crock pot, like find something that we can watch on TV because normally that's what we do. Like just eat at my house, talk of all the s**t and sit and watch some type of documentary. I think the last time she was here, she wanted to watch the myrtles. So I invested in watching that with her all over again because she had not seen it and doesn't really know how to use the TV that well to find this stuff. So I'm like, just a little bit of a heads up would be nice. We can I ask something? Yeah. Does she drive? Does she drive? Oh, honey, does she drive? I'm like, When is she not driving the last situation? She called me in a panic on a I think it was like a Monday morning, and she was on her way back from seeing my dad and she was like I was driving down the freeway and some rock flew off of this truck and cracked my windshield all to hell and back. She was like, So now I've got something else to deal with whenever I get back home and I'm like, Oh my God, like. First of all, why are you on the road? Second of all, I also have a crack to hell and back on my way to feel that I'm not happy. OK, so you suing the state of Georgia? If you got a crack on your windshield, it was covered and your insurance that you could get a windshield replacement without having to pay a deductible. Now that is not the case, and I get so frustrated about this because I'm like, I do not choose for that raw to like, fly up or I did not choose for that rock to come off of a construction zone that was not properly cleaned up that has now cracked my windshield. I pay taxes. I'm confused as to why I am now paying a deductible to get a windshield replacement for something that I personally did not cause. We are victims and then rocks are just they're just a part of nature. Like, it's not like it's a, you know, a brick that someone threw like it just was. You just got picked up and flung like, how is that our fault? Like, mine is so jacked right now that I look at it and I'm like, Dang it like, I don't. I'm not obviously paying a deductible for it. And then like, I got my car wash sticker, my toll road stickers on there. I just I can't. And then I don't want a random glass on there like I want it to be the original like, OK, why do you know this? You can request through whoever's replacing your windshield. You can request for it to be certified. Ford, OK, like you don't have to have like a second hand or like off market windshield. You can request for it to be like the certified windshield for that vehicle. I've done that before, but I am not kidding you. This might have been a sign from the universe. I have no idea. But right before I got divorced, I had like three cracked windshields. Oh sure, the three different situations were nose to crack windshields and a flat tire ran over a nail in my neighborhood near a construction zone. Flat tire was leaving Chick-Fil-A large chicken. Just trying to get a frickin spicy chicken sandwich, just trying to get right with God by chicken. Listen, one hundred percent, I go into the turn lane leaving out of that place, construction going on by there. There was a hole in the road. This person in front of me, this truck in front of me pulls into the hole in the road. Their tires are spinning. I'm behind them and flue rocks up on my windshield. Crack my windshield to hell and back. Get the windshield replaced. Then I know lie driving to target on my way back home, sitting in a construction zone. They flag me through a hawk. No comes down from the power line. Words flies into my windshield. I don't know if it was his beaks, its claws like what it was. Flying into my windshield cracks the damn thing. A week from when I had it replaced before and I was like, I don't know if this is a sign that like this divorce is supposed to happen and my life's going to hell in a handbasket. If this is a sign that I need a new vehicle like this is not safe. I don't know what this is a sign of, but I swear when like something happens to your car, it's not long until something else happens. You know what's insane? My mom used to tell me that that hawk story, though, like, I didn't know any of this. I also have a scary windshield story. And honestly, I hate not having a dad like, I've always hated not having a dog because I've always had to, like, take my car in for maintenance and handle all that myself. And like, I went to go get my all changed. Once, when I was 17, I was pregnant with my now teenage daughter. I was clueless on life and so I want to get my oil changed. Some weird little like mom and pop type oil change place off the side of the road, so I get my oil changed. I'm late for my shift, so I take off. They're like, Yeah, you're good. Pay like an arm and a leg. I'm sure I got overcharged for some s**t. Get in the car. I'm going like 50. I bump up to 60. Sixty five. My windshield just flings open like they didn't latch it. They didn't make sure it was. Yes, I swear to God this really happened to me and it shatters my entire windshield. I must have been like six months pregnant. I thought I was going into labor because I've never been so scared in my entire life. Like, so terrifying. I know and and you know what? I don't know why I didn't go back and like, complain, and that was the first windshield drama I ever had. And then I've just had nonstop windshield drama ever since, too, but I didn't have a hawk flying to my windshield. So that's that's kind of weird. Well, I'm just glad that it didn't make me wreck into somebody on the other side of the road because it scared me absolutely to death. And it kind of goes back to the conversation that I had on coffee convos like many. Moons ago, if you sneeze and hit someone like our you were responsible for that because I didn't choose to sneeze. Someone just said the other day, like no one talks. Speaking of driving and sneezing, how scary it is when you sneeze, when you're driving. Yeah, it's absolutely terrifying. OK, next question OK. You talked about nanny going to visit your parents. Have you gone up to visit your parents recently? Is it something you plan to do soon? I have not, and I don't have any plans in the near future to do so. I think their appeal is being heard on March the 25th. I believe don't quote me on that day. I know a lot of people were asking if I was going to be in court for that unless I get contacted to appear there. For that, I will not be appearing and don't have any any current plans to go to Pensacola or Kentucky. OK. And have you spoken to them on the phone? I have not. The support for today's episode comes from Honey Love, Honey Love has revolutionized compression technology, so you no longer have to feel like you're suffocating while wearing effective shapewear. Let's not even begin to talk about my throwing up in the dressing room story in regards to awful shapewear. I don't have this problem when it comes to honey love. You know we love honey love. You will immediately feel and see the difference for a limited time only. You can get honey love on sales. You get 20 percent off your entire order with our exclusive link. Honey Love.com/ Southern T Support our show and check them out at Honey Love dot com forward slash southern T. I love the super power source. It's honestly helping ladies everywhere sculpt and smooth from the stomach all the way to the thigh by offering just the perfect amount of compression. And it's easy to get on, easy to get off. I love that you don't have to worry about it rolling down, which is absolutely unheard of in shapewear. It has this flexible boning that's actually hidden in the side seams, and it does not roll and I absolutely love it. Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save 20 percent off honey love. Slash other A. You can use our exclusive link to get 20 percent off Honey Love.com/ southern tea. After your purchase. They'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you start the new year with confidence thanks to Honey Love. I'm Brett and I'm Alice. And together we host a weekly true crime podcast called The Prosecutors. In every episode, we bring our unique perspective as full time prosecutors to the most famous and debated true crime mysteries, whether it's Moore and Murray, Scott Peterson or the Delphi murders. Brett and I dig deep to bring you details you won't hear anywhere else. Our podcast is about more than just a story. We will walk you through the legal problems lurking behind every case. Breaking down the complexities of the criminal justice system with humor and a personal touch. And it's not just true crime. We bring the same training and approach we've learned as prosecutors to classic mysteries like the Dyatlov Pass incident and the ghost ship Mary Celeste. So if you're looking for a true crime podcast with a different point of view, the prosecutors is the one for you. Find us wherever you get your podcasts. Make your Valentine's Day simply better, would a restaurant quality meal for two for just 15 euros from Dunnes Stores? Choose from a range of delicious means like award winning Irish Angus steaks are organic Irish salmon paired with a side dish of your choosing like potato gratin and finish with a decadent dessert like creme brulee. Then toast to savings with a five off 25 grocery voucher. Make Valentine's Day simply better with Dunnes Stores. Terms and conditions apply. Vouchers can be used on the next in-store grocery shop of ?25 or more. Next question Who is your celebrity crush? Who is my celebrity crush? I don't really have any celebrity crushes like, I mean, I guess I have a crush on Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. You have a couple, a couple crash like you have a crush on them as a couple. Yes, I do. Like, I used to have a crush on Travis Kelsey individually, but because I love their relationship so much and I think they're such a great match for each other and they're so supportive of each other. I could say the same for Kelsea Ballerini and Chase Stokes, like my crushes are for the couple, not for the individual, but I don't know. Like, maybe I grew out of celebrity crushes and I just have a crush on somebody in like real life. Oh yeah, those are. Those are a little better, right? They have some potential there. But I mean, I don't know. I'm sure you can land. Have you ever had a crush on somebody like so hard in real life that it like disturbs you? Yeah, you have. Yeah, I think that's called like being in love or being a little more than a crush. Actually, I hate the word obsessed, though, because I don't think I think if you have a crush on somebody and it's like a two way street and that person equally like shares that crush, they have the same crush for you as what you have for them. I don't think obsession is like the right word to use because I think obsession has such a negative connotation, right? Like, yeah, it's not an obsession. It is a longing for a partial lusting for. And for me, I guess just as I've gotten older, it's like all of the things that I feel like you should have a crush on somebody for. So I have a crush on them emotionally. I have a crush on them, physically a crush on them, spiritually, like all of those things very much matter to me at this phase of my life. So like, just to have a blanket crush on somebody because they're attractive, like, that's not a thing for me. OK, I get that. But OK, a couple of things. One, you're right, because I feel like obsessive gives possessive, you know, like it just sounds so like I just want you. And that's all you think about. And that doesn't sound healthy, so we won't use the obsession. I think crushes are the funnest phase of a relationship will be for like before it becomes a relationship. And not every crush evolves into something right? Like, you could have a gym crush that like you see them talking to other people and you kind of like the way they are and like, you kind of just like the way they dress and you see them from a distance and you, like, admire each other or like people have work crushes all the time, you know, like they work in a different department and you see them and you're like, Oh, that that person's really attractive. But you know, I'm like, there's like an innocence to it because like you may or may not ever like, act on it. But do you remember like being younger and having like crushes in school too and just being all? Getty And like the butterflies, you know, I just feel it is a fun feeling, but I feel like at some point of your life that you kind of grow out of it, and not everybody is going to reach the same stage at the same time, at the same age. For me, I don't have crushes like that. I do have a crush on someone that I've had a crush on for a while, but I also know that this cross was like a mutual crush, if that makes sense. Yeah, and it's because of the connection of all of the things that are there, OK, that people are less intense about that. But OK. And I feel like you can be in a relationship and still have a crush on someone like while you're in the relationship. OK, I'm like, It's like that longing and desire to want to be with them. OK. That's funny, because I was about to say like, Oh God, like, I hope people don't think anything because it's like, What's the main reason? Like, you haven't had crushes, you've been in relationships. So you're never actively like looking and you like you go out and you live your life, but you're not. Like in a regular work environment where you are on a routine and you see the same people like maybe you go to the gym, you go to parties, you go here and there, so you probably do. But I feel like most crushes develop in like places where you consistently. That's why we had them in high school, because we would see someone all the time be like, Oh my gosh, they're so cute, OK, let me go to cla*s. But yeah, I think that that's also a lot of people who are in relationships or even married develop little crushes here and there. And again, that's why I feel like there's an innocence to it, because it's not like that doesn't ever mean it's going to evolve into anything. But my mom was so bad. Like one time we had this place where we'd have like a routine, where we'd go get milkshakes, and there was a young little guy there at a milkshake place. And my mom, he's probably like 20 stop. And she'd be like, Oh, he has a crush on you. He's so nice to you. He always gives you free milkshakes. I'm like, I know, mom, stop, you're embarrassing me. And she'd be like, Oh gosh, you're married. You're not dead. Oh my god. Now, see, for me, there are so many boundaries that I have for myself. And being with someone, I hope that they share some of those same ones. If I am in a full, committed relationship to somebody, my eye is not going anywhere. Like, do not care. The hottest person could walk into the room. And physically, that's not going to do it for me because the person I am with, I'm mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I know them well. Yes, I agree with that. But you know what kind of relationship I aspire to have. I want a relationship. That's mind you guys. Yes, I'm married, OK, but I don't feel like I have this in my marriage, and I'm not saying I want to be with anyone. I'm just saying, like my own marriage. I hope we reach this level at some point in our maturing marriage. Like, I feel like the most secure relationships are people who can be around other attractive people and like and be OK with it and acknowledge it like there's a certain level of confidence. You have to have to like, see a gorgeous woman and know that you think she's gorgeous. Your husband probably thinks she's gorgeous and and that's all OK. And I'm a very like. I give out compliments the way I give out like smiles, you know, like, I'm just always like, Oh God, you look so beautiful. Like, I'm. My kids are turning on to me that way, too, which I love, like the waitress came the other day and I even noticed my daughter was like, I love your hair. You look really beautiful in the way, like it made her day. And so like, that's something that I get from my mom. And so it just it makes me feel good to see other people. And I mean it. I'm not like, I don't lie about it, like, I only give it up. It's genuine, but I'm like that. And so I just think that like, it's I don't know. Like, I talked to my girlfriend the other day and he's like, Everyone flirts even if they're married. Like, if you have a love, it's like modified flirting. But like, I mean, and I'm just like, I don't know, like if I'd be OK with that. So I just want to reach a level of security in my relationship where because again, we've talked about this before, it's about like, would you feel comfortable if they're being kind or like admiring someone's beauty if you weren't there? And that's what it's all about. But like, if I, I'm very picky, don't like you and I are the same in that way, Lindsay, like we don't think every guy walking down the block is hot. Like, that's just, I don't have a type. I'm very it's very like individual thing. Like, You know what? That guy's good looking. I have to genuinely think that, but I'm able to tell my husband, like, that's a really good looking guy. You know what I mean? Like, I'm confident enough to do that. He's not going to do that to me, like he wouldn't. He's not like that. But I think those kind of relationships are good where you can, like, acknowledge it and be like, Wow, she's a really good looking girl or whatever. I don't know. I wonder if people have relationships like that because I know friends that are like that, and they seem to be some of the happiest couples that I know. I think just having that honesty and transparency and commitment to one another and that commitment be so deep that it does away with all of your insecurities. Yeah, like that is so, so incredibly important because I think when you can reach that level of their relationship, you can thrive there because you don't sit on the insecurities. Yes, that's exactly what it is. I love that. So are you ready for the next question? Yes. So this one girl, I like her. She asked a lot of like a lot of random stuff. No pressure questions. This one's kind of funny. It's like rapid fire. Yes. OK, would you would you rather puke on someone during your first date or peer parents giving a speech? Pee my pants, giving a speech, because that would be actually something that I would do. I do. And then I would just like, walk away. I mean, have you? Hey, when's the last time you laughed so hard you peed? That's a question for me. Oh, two days ago. I'm like with this mom bladder. Two days ago. That's hilarious. What is the last thing you googled? Oh no, hold on. I got to pull up my search. But on Waka Flocka Flame, did you want to see what he looked like? No, there was just this real that I shared of this mom and it was her dancing in the car to walk a flock of flame. And she was like sixteen year old me pulling up at school and then to the same song, 30 year old me pulling up to carpool for my kids. And she and the first part of the video she's wearing like a Victoria's Secret pink sweatshirt, the bronzers like all bronze in. And she's just like getting it. And then in the next part of the real, it's her also in a sweatshirt. But more with the times for today and drinking in L.A. And I'm like, If that ain't me, oh gosh, what is? And so it was to walk off like a flame. So I googled walk a flock of flame to see. I don't know. I was just like being nostalgic. I needed to see all the songs. That's a mouthful, I dare you to say. Waka Flocka Flame five times. I do not know how you're starting off the year, but when you use the secured time credit builder visa credit card, you can build your credit scores with on-time payments for everyday purchases. I have definitely been going through what purchases I'm putting on credit cards. I have different subscriptions and things like that because I want to maximize building my credit as much as possible. We know that I'm obsessed with having a good credit score. So if there ever were an overachieving credit card that helps you build credit, this would be it. 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Make Valentine's Day simply better with Dunnes Stores. Terms and conditions apply. Vouchers can be used on the next in-store grocery shop of ?25 or more. OK, excellent. All right, what is your last Amazon purchase? A hair dryer brush that went viral on TikTok? Did it live up to its standard? Well, the one that I got had a defect, so I sent it back and I'm waiting on the new one, and I don't want to post the link until I actually get the new one to see how much I like it. But based off of how viral it went on, Tik Tok and I've seen a couple of other influencer share it. I'm like, I need that in my life. Looks like a professional blow outs and send it to me. Send me help. Yes. Oh OK. Hope you get a anon broke one. This is a question for like asking. They're asking advice on how to deal with unsolicited advice and judgmental comments about your kids from family. That's really hard. I don't really feel like I've had to navigate that too much. Contrary to some of the clips that people see all over TikTok now of Old Chrisley Knows Best footage, my parents have always been super gentle and approach about that, and Will's parents always have as well and just respected the fact that Jackson was our child and not their child. And even though they have opinions that we don't share, it's OK because there is respect there on both sides, and I think that you have to learn how to take unsolicited advice in stride. And if it's unsolicited and you don't want to hear it and it doesn't resonate with you, then leave it where it is and move on from it. I have done things very, very differently with Jackson as far as like eating sleep routines, lack of sleep overs. Like all of those things, I have done very different than my parents did with my grandparents. And it's been it's been OK. And so I think that you just have to learn to communicate effectively, to say, Hey, this is what I feel is best for my child. And while I understand and respect your opinion, this is what works for us. Yeah, it's just one of those things that I feel like the sooner you set those boundaries, the less likely there is going to be confrontation later, because then you let that build up and eventually one day you just snap and you're like, They're my f**king kids, you know, and you don't want to get let it get to that. So I would rather address it early on. But I'm glad you haven't had to deal with too much of that. It sucks. I know a lot of people who are like that, like really heavy into like, what is it like backseat parenting their grandkids, you know? Yeah, it's not fun. OK, so are you still considering moving? I have actually put a pause on that, mainly because I feel like I have gone through so many life changes in the last couple of years that I sat on it and sat on it and sat on it and prayed on it and thought to myself, I just had like this epiphany one day and I was like, You know what, Wendy, you have made so many big life decisions in the past couple of years that you have become uncomfortable with not making a decision or feeling like there's not a decision to be made. And sometimes it's OK to sit in what you feel like is complacency. And I think I just need to work on my healing and just being comfortable and happy where I am and whatever is truly meant to be will be and I will not have to feel like the decision is forced. I will not have to feel like I am impulsively making a decision. So I've just decided to stay in my house and enjoy my house, do other things that would make me happy in this house. And it's OK. Yeah, man, I feel that. And that's so true. And the fact that you're able to like, stop and recognize, hey, like no big moves right now, you know, literally or figuratively like, let's just chill for a bit. I'm I'm happy that you've decided on that, and I think I'm applying that to not just like the move, but just all aspects of my life, right? Like, I'm in a place that I don't feel like I have to make a decision on anything. And it's been a very long time since I've been in that place and I need to be comfortable. And that's. That sometimes no decisions are a good decision, and I need to focus on myself and I need to focus on Jackson and need to focus on my co-parenting and my friendships, and all of that does not require a move. I think that maybe the idea of a move was that I was actually running from something that I wasn't aware that I was running from and then when I was faced with it. It brought great perspective, and so to just get comfortable with making that decision of it's OK for me to just be here and be still. Nothing is pressing me to have to do anything right now at this moment has been such a relief. Yeah, OK, cool. I love that and I love your home. So cozy. It is so cozy. It is. I love it. OK, next. Everyone wants to know where little miss birdies at. So after Trent and I officially broke up, my mom was coming into town and she had gone to what I was under. The impression of was going to be a couple of weeks training program. And you guys know that I have had a much different experience with her than I had with Georgia. Georgia was super easy to train, non-aggressive, just very happy go lucky dog. And so dogs are like people, and I need to understand that they're just like children with every child doesn't matter. Same genetic makeup. They are going to have very different personalities. And so I think I was not prepared for that was not preparing for the breakup. The intention of the dog was Trent didn't have a dog, his kids didn't have a dog. I no longer had Georgia here because she is now up close by at wills. Mm-Hmm. That was kind of like a joint joint thing. And so I sent her to this training program, which again, I thought was going to be several weeks. I paid for a transportation where I met the person and they charge me X amount of dollars to meet me like a certain amount of miles from my house. Take her back to the training facility. The next thing I know she is back in my garage. Less than six days later, I sent boxes of Farmer's Dog to the trainer. Never got any of the food back, which was like a month supply of her food. And so it was just very chaotic. And then the breakup happened. But long story short, where my mom lives, there is a full training facility by her, and so she is putting her at that training facility to actually do all of the training that needs to be done with her. And when she comes back, I feel like I will be in a much better place. To be honest, I have been absolutely heartbroken and I just feel like the stress of the lack of training and her personality and just the fears of the guarding of the food and the territorial ness. I did not want to deal with that with Jackson, so she is training with my mom. Good. OK, good. I'm happy to hear that. I'm sure everyone else will be too. Yeah, I agree with you. I feel like you'll be ready to receive her once she's all trained up over there. OK, next, when you start back dating, would you date someone with children again? Yes or no? And if yes, what will you do differently? I guess, if anything, you know, I think it's OK for me to say, I don't know because I'm not in the place to even consider that right now. I am not healed from my past relationship, so it would not be in my best interest to date. Anyone else would not be in my best interest to be communicating with anyone about dating someone else. I think I just need to truly focus on the healing part of that relationship. And when you love someone, that love does not end when our relationship ends. That's not how it works. And so I think even the thought of dating scare me to death because I can't even imagine putting myself back in that state right now. And maybe it's because I am going through heartbreak and, you know, doors not being fully closed. And, you know, I just need to be very cautious of that. But I am in no place to even make a decision on that. And I think that's OK. I agree it's OK. And I think I really fair point on that is when you're dating or when you're actively meeting someone like especially like you, you weren't looking for, you know, when you found it like your last relationship. And so I think like you, you're not looking for someone with kids or without kids, right? When you meet someone, it's like you meet them and you have to like them. You have to fall in love with them. And then whatever is attached to them is, that's when you decide, like, is this something worth my while? Or is it something I want to invest in? It's a very individual decision, so I think it's for anyone listening and even for you and for me, like, it's safe to just say, like, never say never, you know, because it's what. Those things, it's like, I don't know, it's really a case by case basis, like you may say, like, yeah, I'm not going to explore that or you really don't know until you meet the person and and find out if they have kids or not. So. And I think it would just be a little harsh for me to say that I wouldn't be open to dating someone with children, considering the fact I'm bringing a child to the table and my parents have always, like, struggled a little bit with my situation post-divorce of, you know, my mom sat on one side of the spectrum and my dad on the other. And you know, one of them was like, you know, do not get involved with someone with kids because their situation is not going to be your situation and you have a very I don't want to say mine, and Will's was like a clean break because that just sounds insensitive. But at the same time, outside of a small amount of arguments, which I think are just very normal in a lot of those arguments came from unresolved feelings that I think he and I were navigating through the co-parenting. If that makes sense, not that we haven't had our fair share of arguments or disagreements. There is just so much love there that we truly want the best for each other. So whatever that looks like with each other, and I think that it's hard sometimes because we know each other so well that there are certain things that I've been able to identify from the outside, looking in for people that he's been with and certain things that he can identify for me on the outside, looking in for the people that I have been with. And so because our relationship is very much like that, it was not a toxic divorce. It is not a toxic co-parenting situation. We truly are friends and care so much about each other and for each other's happiness and success and parenting that sometimes I think when you're with someone that does not have that same dynamic, it's very hard because you can't see it from somebody else's perspective, right? Because you're like, OK, well, that's not what I'm going through. That's not what I'm doing. So I think that that was one of my parents, you know, concerns about me being with somebody else who has been divorced and does have kids because my situation is not the typical situation, but I don't think it's totally abnormal either. And then my other parent was like, You know, you can't have expectations of, you know, eliminating everyone that has children because those children were not with you because you're also bringing a past to the present. And so I would never eliminate somebody because they have children. I think the elimination only happens when there is no middle ground and there is no meeting point. Yeah, that's exactly it. It's all about compromise. In a situation like that and giving the children their best interest at heart. So I agree with that. This next one size asks of you. Pretty much. Are you ever going to return to reality TV? I mean, I always say never say never on any of these situations because I have gotten in the habit of doing that before and then made an a*s out of myself multiple different times, like when I separated from Will the first time in Twenty Seventeen, and it was all over the news. Good Morning America news, you know, like all the things, and in that moment of time, I was committed to that decision and had committed to also that being a storyline on the show. And I kind of learned my lesson relationally from that because by the time I filmed the interviews for that episode, I was already in completely a different headspace and this was seven days. So I think impulsively and emotionally acting on anything, I am just not going to do that at this point in my life because again, I have made an a*s out of myself multiple times. I reconciled with Will was with him for several years after that and then ultimately led to divorce anyway. I think that I should never say never on any relationship that I have been in. There are certain ones that I would say never, but there is one situation that I would say never say never. Reality TV never say never because I don't know what's to come in the future. So we'll see. Then only that only time will tell the same. This same listener said going through tough times is unfortunately something we all face at one time or another. What's your best advice for coping in the midst of a severe thunderstorm? I don't know if anyone should be listening to me as an advice column because I clearly do not have everything figured out. But to circle the. Out to the first part of this episode, when you're going through hard times and you're in a storm, the storm cannot last forever. Like there will be sunshine at some point. And I think that you just have to trust in the process of there is a storm for a reason and there is a clearing of the path for a reason, and there are sunshine for a reason and truly just trusting that process and relinquishing all control. For me, it was for me to relinquish all of my desires for myself and relinquishing that control to God and to pray to him and say, God, whatever your will is, have your way. Like, I know that these are my desires. But if these desires you don't have for my life, please don't let them come to fruition. Please don't let them be. And I think until you fully do trust and until you fully do surrender, whether that's to God, whether it's a universe, whatever it is that you believe in, you just have to fully surrender that now not so hard to do. We've talked about it. It's so hard, but seemingly weigh in on that same one. Like the last thing she asked was who you're rooting for at the Taylor Swift party? I mean, the Super Bowl. Sorry, guys, sorry, I'm just like at the Taylor Swift party. It is a Taylor Swift party, and he's so cute that day. The Chiefs one hundred percent, 100 percent came on the bandwagon, guys, and it's getting heavy. Let me just say, listen, I was not a Chiefs fan until I, you know, gained if you guys want to call it a celebrity crush. Travis Kelsey, when he came on the scene, I was like, Oh, go chiefs. Like, just like a little bit like a silent like go chiefs. And then when he decided to flex his whole existence and pull up with Taylor Swift, I was like, Go chiefs really loud? Yeah. They're just so freaking cute. They're meet cute. Like everything he imagine, like the bracelet story and just all that. And then every successful relationship says she rejected me at first and then like, came around and gave me a chance. So like it, just I'm not surprised by it. He's also such a good podcaster. Have you had a chance to listen in on his and his brother's podcast? I have not, but I see clips of their podcast on Tik Tok. I've said before, I don't listen to any podcast, and mainly because I just don't want the style of anybody else's podcast or anything anybody else is doing to rub off on me. A lot of times I some guy a lot of times if you like, see something or you are subjected to something and invested in something, you naturally will kind of like, adopt those ways. Yeah. And so I have just always wanted to remain very mindful of that and just protect this space that this is mine and that is yours. And it's not that I don't support other people that are in the business as nothing to do with that. I'm just like in my lane over here doing my thing, and I respect whatever it is they're doing. But I don't want anything that I ever do on this show or coffee convos to ever be a reflection of something else that I've listened to. You know, you and I talk about this all the time. Like when we're not recording and for the listeners out there, like, it's crazy. I told Lindsey the last time, like, I feel so happy when I record with you and I listen to like all the topics you select and everything that we chat about because it truly is speaking to, like your personal, like what you're going through. And it's a lot of work like finding the videos and like the quotes and like the things that resonate with you and then like making sure that it's things that other people can like relate to. And so I respect you not wanting to be influenced by outside factors to keep it authentically yours. I think that's really beautiful. Going back to Travis Kelsey, like I love him and his brothers dynamic, and I think it's so sweet because since you don't listen, they take questions. And it's kind of like there are no dumb questions. And I love that because I personally like didn't have brothers growing up, didn't have a father figure growing up. So like, I don't know a lot about football and sports and like when I ask my husband, he's like, too invested in the game to like, really sit and teach me the sport and I want to. I love sports and I want to be a part of it, but I don't really. So I've learned a lot from their podcast because, like, they'll ask questions like, What does this mean? What does that play? And the brothers take time to sit there and like, answer the questions. And I think it's really sweet for like the, you know, that population of like men who just don't know about sports, but they're too embarrassed to ask or like young boys who don't have a role model. I just think that they come off as such genuine like good guys. And I like their podcast and I love him and Taylor, and I'm also going for the Chiefs. Who's Jackson going? Oh, chief, if you call him on any night that the chiefs are playing and he's wills, they are using that air fryer, honey. And he has on the Travis Kelsey Eighty Seven jersey, and he is strolling around flexing what muscles he does not have that he thinks he has big, huge chiefs fan. And I think it's super cute that he got on to the Travis Kelsey bandwagon because he was like my celebrity crush. And he knows how much I am such a swifty. And so he's very much leaned in to just like all in Teves. And I love that. But to just change the topic for a minute, there was a couple of things that I saw that I wanted to share with you guys and wanted to get through this week. And this first one came from motivational women, and it's a quote. It says you are the toxic person. If I am explaining to you that I need to create these boundaries for my own mental health, for my own well-being, and to make me feel comfortable. And if you're uncomfortable with that, you are the toxic person that needs to get out of my life. That is exactly the reason why I had to create these boundaries because you do not respect them. What do you think about that? I mean, yeah, 100 percent. But to each their own right. So like, sometimes it's like you're toxic for not respecting my boundaries, but it just every relationship is going to be different, right? And we talk a lot about like trust issues and stuff like that. So if you if your husband doesn't trust you or you don't trust your husband or your partner or whatever, and they're like, I need the password to your phone, this is like a common thing that couples go through and it's like, you know, that's like my personal property, and I don't feel comfortable with that. So I'm not going to give you that password. And they're like, Well, that's toxic. You're hiding something. And it's like, No, you just need to trust me. You're toxic because I want privacy. There are situations like that where it's the wine is a little fuzzy, you know, because it's like, that's going to be a very individual. Also like. But that's usually the case where it's something there's something underneath that's like there is a level of toxicity on either side. And it's hard to point fingers when both hands are not clean, if that makes sense. But like if you're talking about just personal boundaries or like, you know, saying, I need alone time and the other person saying, like, Well, you don't want to be around me, and it's like, No, I need alone time like you. And I just literally talked about, like, I like being by myself. It's necessary for me. You know, it's necessary for my mental health. So it's not that I don't want to be around you. It's just that I need to be with myself right now so that I think a person as an adult when you are engaging in an adult relationship. Number one, the health of that relationship should be of utmost importance and you should feel comfortable to go to someone and state boundaries that you feel comfortable with and for them to have the opportunity to respect those boundaries. But you're also giving them the opportunity to disrespect those boundaries. And at that point, I think it's super important for you to identify, OK. This is a boundary for me. I went to them with a clear state of mind, respectfully approach the conversation, and they chose to disrespect or just disregard whatever it is that I'm saying is important for my mental health. That person is in fact toxic to your mental health, and that person should not be in your life because as adults, we should be able to make decisions for ourselves that feel comfortable for us. Yeah. You know what? And when you put it like that, because I guess everything that we talk about, we take it to a relationship like a romantic relationship or even friends, family and I. This is something that pertains to this, that I saw or read the other day that said anything that overwhelms you means that you don't have boundaries that either that or you're not respecting those boundaries because nothing should overwhelm you to the level of stress you. Everything can have boundaries. So like, if you tell your boss, please don't call me on my day off. That's time for me and my children. And then they're still there saying, Hey, I'm sorry. Like, I know, I know you said not to text you, but you know and granted you have the control, whether you want to respond or not. But it's still bothering you, like it's still disrupting your date, your time with your family. The message still came through. You still overstep that boundary. You're the problem. You really mean, like, I'm not toxic for not responding to you, and you can't be mad at me Monday morning because you have control over your, like, control yourself. And this goes back to like having self control when you don't get your way. Because someone has set boundaries against you for whatever you do, how you act, things you say, you are the toxic one, you know, because it's like you don't control yourself and as a result, this person is distancing themselves. I'm gonna quit that job. You really mean you lose people like that. And so that's yeah, to shift the perspective on it. It's absolutely true. The last thing that I want to read that I saw this came across my feed last night in my late night scroll and it says hard truth. There will be people who don't get or like that you are changing. It's not your job to unpack that. Stay present and stay focused on your growth. And I think that is so important for every person listening. For us talking that you are allowed to change and you are allowed to evolve. And I think that while changing and evolving, as long as you are healthily changing and evolving, it's not your job to unpack how that affects someone else and your change and your growth. And you have to keep your focus on yourself. Stay present there. And as long as you were doing what is best for you and you have taken time with yourself to sit with yourself and say, this is what is best for me, this is what is most healthy for me, and I'm not talking about going and doing toxic things and then saying this is best for me. Like, not like, have some self-awareness, right? But if it truly is best and is positive, I think it's so important to not get lost in this office of unpacking your changing and how it affects someone else, but staying present and whole for yourself and focusing on your growth. Yes, I have weekly devotional and I have a long weekly tea that this girl actually sent exhibits so you better quit your best. I can't. I can't. Even so, we're going to pray right now. Our weekly devotional is about praising God at all times. And it says over the past seasons and years, I've learned to praise God in all circumstances, whether they are good or bad. Choosing to see God in his goodness and all things makes us humble and hopeful. It changes your heart. It brings you into a place of gratitude, and it reminds us that God has a purpose for everything. This very much resonated with me because I think it's very easy to seek God and the hard moments because you feel like you have nothing else to turn to, and so you stay steadfast in prayer during that time. But you are celebrating with him and all the good things that he has done for you during the good times. And that very much put things into perspective for me that I just need to stay steadfast all the time. Yeah, I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that. And it's important for us to also remember that I don't know the Bible verse. I'm sorry, guys. Like, I don't read the Bible thoroughly, but you know how where you have like a hundred sheep and one goes wandering off like he's going to, he's going to risk losing control of those like those ninety nine sheep to come and chase you. So like, we have to constantly be chasing him too. And the good, the bad, you know, every time your feet hit the ground in the morning, like I have feet, I have breath in my lungs like, I'm alive, I'm walking, I'm talking like those little things, you know, nothing gives you like that acknowledgment. Like when you I don't know about you, but when I get better after I was sick, you know you have like a stuffy nose and you can breathe for days and you're like, God, I just want to breathe again. And then you take that first. You wake up with like clear lungs again and you're like, Oh gosh, my health is back. You're praying to God the whole time you were suffering and sick, and then you're better and you forget all about it. You're out the door enjoying your life. So be sure to praise just like our the listener said. Like, you know, through the storm, you got a prism through every storm. Absolutely. And here is our weekly tea. Gosh, this woman says my boyfriend claims that he loves me, but he keeps tabs on his first love. For context, my boyfriend had loved this girl for four years before we started dating. They never dated because the girl didn't like him back. The problem is, he keeps saying that he doesn't care about her anymore, but his actions say otherwise. And now we're going to get into the exhibits. Exhibit A, she message him on Instagram. She was asking for updates about his life and especially his love life. It had to take two people to convince them that he had to tell her about me. This was February 20. Twenty three and October twenty three. Twenty three was when I learned the full context of the convo. They were talking about feeling guilty whenever they're with their partners because of fear. Apparently, it feels wrong to them. Exhibit B, I found a combo of them. During April, she asked him to download Snapchat. When I asked him to see the convo, he said he already deleted the account. He swore there was nothing fishy. Only this time he did think of cutting her off. Exhibit C, he still keeps tabs of her through her mother's Instagram account. A friend sent me a screenshot that he liked to picture with his first love on it, and then he removed the leg. After learning that someone sent the screenshot to me, he has also unfollowed the relatives. Now I'm f**king fed up. I know my reaction is light, but really, really, really going insane. I need insight from strangers. Well, number one, we are not strangers. We are a podcast, family and community, and all of these exhibits to me very much say he is settling for the relationship that he is currently in, but still has unresolved feelings for this other person. And this other person very much seems as if she wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. When a woman is messaging a man who is in a relationship, I'm not sure if he had pictures on his Instagram with you if he didn't. But to me, that is inappropriate if there has been any type of romantic connection with them in the past, like updates about his life and updates on his love life or frankly, not her business. And I very much feel like she has toxic energy. If she then was aware of the relationship that he was in, but then asked him to download Snapchat. We're all adults and we're all responsible for our own actions. So while she could have asked him to do that, he's still on the hook for it because he did do that. So that's my take on that. And keeping tabs through a mother's Instagram account, I think for me and this is not for everyone. When you have been in love with someone and you broke things off and someone is now in a new relationship, it's not always best to stay connected to those that were a part of that part of your life. And I don't say that to be mean. It's just sometimes maybe putting that out of sight, out of mind and moving on with your life is the best thing you can do. Because when you are constantly engaging and seeing this stuff, I think the natural mind just wanders. I think so, too. Here's my problem with this story, or this situation is that I agree with you. Have you made a lot of excellent points? But Lindsay, like, she's the one that got away for him, but she hasn't actually gone away. She's still there. Like, it's one thing we can respect young love guys like we can we at this day and age, it's like it's dry out there, right? So when you meet someone, everyone's got baggage. You were in love with. Someone didn't work out. You have a soft place in your heart for them. All good and gravy. But if she's still in the picture and I don't mean an old picture in a box in your closet, I mean on his phone. And then here and now, like on the Instagram that he's following, like stalking her mom. Like, that's a bit much for me. So that's definitely like you said, like feelings that are still there, you know, and when the opportunity is still there is when it's a problem. Because if there's any communication, recent communication, Snapchat is the double of every relationship. I don't care what anybody says, like, I don't like Snapchat. I don't like the whole. It's going to be racist. Like why that is. It is like, I mean, I think it reinforces bad behavior that you are self-aware of to even be on the app to know that you shouldn't be doing like if you are communicating with someone solely through Snapchat. To me, that says a lot about a person and that you have things to hide. If you don't have anything to hide, then just say it with your whole chest and send it over. Text, text it, text that s**t. And the thing is like, I'm on Instagram, you know, I'm on Facebook, I'm on social media. But like my teenager is on Snapchat, you know, that's the difference. Like, and I don't know, I've never really. Maybe I had one of my earlier 20s, but I look at it and I'm like, Is this for me right now at this stage of my life? Probably not. I don't need this anything that I want to share. I can share on Instagram. I'm not huge on Facebook, like, but there are other ways and texting is the quickest and most efficient way to contact someone if you've got something to say. So there's that on that and you sound pissed and you have every right to be. And I just feel like at this point it's time to. I think that's at the point that you pack. Up your stuff and you respectfully exit the room, sometimes connections like this with people will never change and they make efforts to move on and unless they're willing to do the work to completely get this person out of your life, which does not seem like this is the case here. It's just time for you to pack your s**t and go. Mm hmm. I concur. And on that note, I am going to try to go and grab lunch and head to the car wash and work a little bit more of my garage. So if you guys have not followed us on at the Southern Tea podcast on Instagram, you can follow us there. You can also join the Facebook group. It is the Southern Tea Podcast, Facebook, a Facebook official page, I think, and it's a great little community there. If you have not subscribed to us, you can do that from any podcast app wherever you visit your podcast. If you are subscribed to us on Apple, make sure you follow us on Spotify and Always First PodcastOne. I hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. You better dive into crime on Pluto TV, unravel the mysteries on shows like CSI and Criminal Minds, or follow the Clues and Blue Bloods and NCIS with thousands of free crime movies and TV shows. Pluto TV is the true home of crime. Download the Pluto TV app and start streaming now on live channels and on demand. You better run feel. Pluto TV stream now, never.