Transcript
What is up, everybody? You are here with Wholeheartedly with Kendall and? Gayle, and we are coming to you my goodness. My I'm fresh from a red eye. And by fresh, we're putting that in quotations because I took a nap the second that I got back to DC, because of very chatty flight attendants, and I know about their sex lives. So bless your hearts, babies. It's rough out there. How was your week, Aileen? My week has been crazy. I had another trip to the vet ER, with the new baby, which was terrifying. And, of course, like so basically, they were out running in the yard. They came in. They had dinner. And then Bear just, like, couldn't stand up. She, like, was collapsing. Her head was wobbling. Her back legs kept sliding out behind her, and she'd fall down. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, this is what happened to Charlie when she had heart issues. So I rushed her to the ER and, at, like it was, like, I don't know, 10 o'clock. They had the late dinner that night. It was 10 o'clock. And I get there, and of the 30 plus visits I'd been to this emergency vet in the last year with Charlie, only one time did I get this one doctor. I've never seen him before, never seen him since. The same doctor comes out and he puts me in the same room that I was in when he told me Charlie passed away. So I was in the same room, closed off, in the same chair, with the same doctor, and he was, like, coming in to tell me how Bear was doing. And I was like, oh my and I had the worst PTSD, but we got through it. They have no idea what the issue is. They think maybe she got stung by a bee or something, and she was going into anaphylactic shock. So I'm hoping that's what it was. But, yeah, it was wild. And then and then even even scarier than that, yesterday morning, I woke up, and I got on the dating apps. I'm proud of you. Good. You can't listen. This is this is you are at the hero's turn. Okay. 1st quick note on everything with Bear. I'm really proud of you. And the reason why is that when we are in I think it's very interesting. You know, for me, I'm I'm like, oh, it's totally like a god wink moment. When you are placed in a situation that could pull up a lot of trauma and a lot of difficulties and has in the past, and you can walk through that with a different result. Like, that's truly how you know that you've that's the only way to really check that benchmark of growth. And sometimes you don't want it to be that way, but, like, you went through an ER hospital visit in the same room with the same doctor to the absolute worst night of your life as witness. I I can attest that was the worst night of your life. You were naked in the shower helping me on the phone. I was. Guys, but not if I was not naked in her shower. I was she called me. I was showering. Thank god that I iPad kid and I watch TV shows in the shower like Great British Bake Off to try to turn my brain off. It's probably really f**ked. My dopamine levels are terrible. But No. I do that too. I do that too. It's just so, like it's such a safe it it's such a safe place, and I'm like, I just need a little happy. You know that song like, happy, happy, happy. Like, yeah. I just need that. That's me in the shower with my GBVO. But I'm very proud of you, and that's a huge thing. But I'm also very proud of you because baby girl's baby girl's out there. She is in she's in the wild. Baby girl was out there, and she is turtling hard. Like, I'm barely sticking my head out of the shower, and I'm like, whoop, right back in. Just like think like think clownfish. Think Finding Nemo. Think like anemone. We go out of the anemone, and then we go back in the anemone. And then we go out of the anemone, and then we go back in. That sounds very sexual for some reason coming from you. But yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Speaking of quick quick little caveat. I have anybody in book talk world and, like, anybody who loves books. Everybody knows about this series. It's like the ACOTAR series. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so not this type of, like, a reader. I love my true crime, but I wanted something fun. So, in fact, I heard about this from my former teammate, coworker, but she's, like, a good friend of mine, Selena from Peloton. And she got into she's like, Kendall, I don't know what's coming over me. I love these books. Like, I'm not even a fantasy person. I'm not even a book person, and, like, I love these books. You have to read them. So I finally, like, bit the bullet probably 3 months ago. I am on book 5. Each book is 800 pages. It's girl. It's called the Court of Thorn and Roses. I'm full send, and I will tell you I'm on the plane with these really loud, chatty flight attendants yet last night, right, middle of the night, who will not stop talking. I'm hearing about their sex lives, and then I'm reading this book, which the 5th book gets very like, there's some encounters between these two characters that have been really liking each other for a very long time, and I'm like, this is a lot. Oh, that's the best when you have the buildup The buildup of, like, they like each other for so long, then that like, that is the best. Do you have a Kindle? I have a Kindle, but not a Kindle. You have a Kindle, but you don't have a Kindle. Well, Kendall loves her Kindle. Alex got me a Kindle because he essentially, it was for him because my light was too bright on my phone when I was reading. And he goes, babe, just get a Kindle. I have one. It's great. And so I have been reading off that Kindle. It is my new routine. It calms me down before I go to bed. I am obsessed. I am obsessed. I need to get you a Kindle. That's gonna be one of your Christmas gifts. I feel like Alex is benefiting in more ways than one by getting you this Kindle. I'm just gonna say that. But when I ever watch a movie or a show or I watch something and I'm, like, getting turned on, like, you know, like, I think Alex knew what he was doing when he got you that Kendall. Well, the weird part is, like, I've never been a fantasy, like, book girl ever. Like, I loved reading as a kid. My favorite thing would be, like, to go we'd go to church as a family, and then my mom would be like, I need a break from all you guys. So we'd drop her off. She'd get her nails done. And then my dad would take all of us to Barnes and Noble, and we'd go and pick up a book. Oh, yep. I think it was like, it was the sweetest routine. So that was, like, kind of our routine. So I I love, with a passion, Barnes and Noble. And it just is, like, my favorite thing, but I hate reading books because it's too difficult because it's bright and then the light and then it's, like, a weird droopy light, and I never, like, ugh, it's a pain in the a*s. But I love reading. So we started dating, and I happened to be on a different series. Again, Celaena, it is your fault, but I love you for it. A different series, and there's, like, dragons and stuff. And Alex is like, wait. Are the wait. The dragons have sex? I'm like, kind of, but, like, that sounds weird, and I'm not weird like that. So our entire relationship, Alex now thinks I read these, like, smutty non like, fiction novels, which is, like, so not me. You're reading about dragon sex. That's that's a little nerdy, Kendall. I'm I'm not gonna lie. Like, that is that is hey. I'm not gonna, like, yuck your yum here, but that is, like it's a little nerdy. Hold on. Hold. Hold. Hold. Hi. Can you hear me? Yes. I got so embarrassed that my foot pulled out the cord to the to the mic. Are you guys so turned out on about dragon pumping that you, like, took your legs out? Not that You a*****e. No. That's not all that happened. It's no. That's okay. K. No. Guys, Guys, I don't know what's happening. Long story short, I'm in a plane. It it got to that point in the book. Like, the the point that we've been waiting for for 3 books. It got to that point. And I'm just like, well, we're here. We're doing it. So now you are back into the fold and into the world, and it just takes a little bit of courage, and you can do this. I don't know how I got here. My ADHD, I'm I'm send me a send me a life preserver. Send one for me too, please. I am in the bumble and hinge abyss, and I cannot find my way out. Like, I have carpal tunnel from scrolling left so much that, like, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be able to use my right hand ever again. We're 28 hours in here. Now I will say, I I've set a couple boundaries for myself. Right? For one, is that if somebody doesn't respond in a decent amount of time, you're out. Like, I don't you're out. I just, like, I don't I don't play games. I don't do the, like, cat and mouse thing, the hard to get thing. They're, like, send a message in response to a question once every 3 day thing. So if you don't respond in, like, a day, you're out. You're like, I'm out. Gone. And then number 2, I haven't put my Instagram handle on there because I know almost none of these guys are gonna know that, like I don't know. I'm somewhat in the public eye, and I I don't want that to be something that motivates them. And I also don't want it to be something that deters them until they get to know me. So I'm not putting the Instagram handle in there, and I just have my name, Gayle, and nothing, like, that's hinting at anything. I just say, like, information. I just say, like, founder, like, entrepreneur, whatever. I'm not saying anything else, so they can't Google it, hopefully. It really hurts me that my name is so unique, though, my first name. And well, this is good though because if they if they do scope you out, you'll be able to catch them in the lie. Because men are not no no offense if there's any gentleman listening. But, especially, excited men are not that savvy. So they will show their hand if they've been weirdly googling you if they're a creeper. So I like this. You have to have, like, a little, like, a couple easy traps set to catch the weirdo. Wait. So does that make me a creeper? Because as soon as I find one I'm interested, I'm right to Instagram, Google. I am trying to CIA Susie and ask, and I'm trying to find them and, like, see what else I can learn about them before I commit. Like, due diligence is, like, happening. It's happening. There's difference between due diligence and making a judgment off of what you find. I will say, though, as a woman, it's different. We're just trying to make sure they're not a serial killer. Like, that's it's like it that's, like, protection. That's, like, I need to know. Okay. And I'm like, I'm cool if you kill serial, but not serial killer. Like, that is not okay. So I just I deep dive into it, and I also have set a boundary for myself that I am going to be completely and painfully honest from the get go. There's no, like, hey. Do you like do you love going out and traveling? Like, no, actually. I like staying home with my dogs and decorating and working in my garden. So, like, if that's not gonna work for you, it's not you're not for me. Like, I'm very so so this just happened. So last night, there's one guy who, so far, I have been like, okay. You're interesting. And he's got 2 kids, which I stalked him on Instagram and the kids are adorable and he seems to have a very healthy relationship with his ex wife. And I just feel like, okay. Like, he's really he just seems like a really good dad and that's very attractive to me because it speaks to his priorities and his heart. And I like that I'm not gonna be his complete focus. Like, I like when people have their own things going on because guess what? I've got a lot of my own things going on and I cannot be the center of your world because that kind of happened in my last relationship and I'm not gonna repeat the same mistake. So I love that he has 2 kids and I, like, I love the idea of maybe one day getting to be a mom and if they're not it's not my own kids, that's okay. I just I just wanna love on things. And, and so, anyway, so we're, like, talking. So we take it off Bumble, and we go to text, and he's got blue text. So, like, that's good. Okay. He's got an iPhone. And we're going yeah. He's got an iPhone, so that's good. He's definitely a bit older than me and what I'm used to dating, so that but the kids are young, so, like, that's that's good. I wanna say they're, like, 2, like, 2 and 5, maybe. Oh, they're little, little. Oh, little. That's okay. It's nice to think about, you know, depending on the age of the kids, how if somebody if another woman were to come into the picture, how that dynamic would be and just preparing yourself. Like, okay. If it's a teenager, there might be some animosity at first because they have this past experience. They're this new person, teenage girl. It's kind of threatening. You're taking my dad's attention. But I think what's really cool is, like, at that younger age, they're still being so shaped and formed that it's really about play and love and support and presence. So that's really nice. That's actually a really good age. Yeah. I like I like that they're that they're so young, and I like that that the ex wife seems amazing. Like, she's a boss, professional, and they have a very had a very amicable divorce and they split them evenly. They live 10 minutes apart. Like, it just seems like a very healthy, good relationship with the so that also, I love that for all of them, especially for the kids. And so, yeah, I mean, I'm literally we've talked for one day and I'm, like, look how deep I'm getting in this. But anyways, so he's where I was, like, do you wanna play the 5 question game? And that's where you ask each other 5 questions and they can be anything. There's no guardrails. And if you don't answer a question, you lose. So I, like, I want somebody who doesn't wanna lose because I like a competitive man. So anyways, we're going through the questions, and his one of his questions to me was, you know, like, what is something in your home you cannot live without? And I said, without pause, I said, my leaf blower. And he was like, that actually he goes, that actually made me laugh out loud. No. But seriously. And I was like, oh, s**t. He thinks I'm trying to be funny. And I was like, and he goes he goes he goes, wait. Wait. Are you you're kidding. Right? And I was like, no. Dead serious. And he writes back and he's like, oh, I mean, yeah, I I guess it's good to not have leaves in your yard. He's like, sir, do you have mild OCD? And I was like, oh, boys. Like, he's already onto me. What did you answer? I was like, no, sir. I do not, in fact, have, any form of mild OCD. And he goes, oh, okay. Good. And I wrote, I have CDO. And then in all caps I wrote, which is OCD in alphabetical order the way it should be. And I was like, you know what? I'm just owning it. Like, I am not lying. I am not hiding back. And then he, like, started LOL ing, like, actually laughing out loud. And I was like, I hope that's not a nervous laugh, but it kinda should be because I'm a little crazy. But, anyway, so that's that's where we're at. Wholeheartedly is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's the holidays, and I think my favorite part about the holidays is I can just go home. I can be with my family, be with my one normal dog and my one crazy dog and just cuddle up on the sofa, watch cheesy holiday movies, and just feel really calm and content. And the reason I'm sharing that is because that's the same way you feel after a really good therapy session. It just brings you that comfort, that kind of warm hug except it's for your mind instead of your body and I highly implore it because I personally have greatly benefited from therapy. It's gotten me through some really dark periods in my life. So if you haven't tried it, I implore you to. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It is entirely online. It's designed to be convenient and flexible and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire, and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist. And if you don't love them, that's okay because you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/wholetodaytoget10% off your 1st month. That's betterhelp.com/whole. I love podcasts that make you feel and then make you want to act, And that's why I wanna share this amazing podcast, The Silver Linings Handbook. It's a weekly podcast just like ours where host Jason Blair interviews interesting people from all walks of life. The best way to think of it is maybe not so much as a podcast, but more like conversations that will inspire you or interesting conversations with interesting people. I feel like it could easily be named that as well. Something I also love about this is the credibility that Jason brings to the table because he is a former journalist who worked at the New York Times, the Boston Globe, the Washington Post, and other newspapers. This podcast is about mental health, and he's bringing empathetic with amazing interviews with incredible people and really brings to light suffering, recovery, and just finding opportunities to help other people and learn and grow from their experience and how it applies to yours. To subscribe to the Silver Linings Handbook, just go to anywhere that you listen to podcasts and look up the Silver Linings Handbook. You won't regret it. I okay. I just wanna, like, I just wanna hug you. I'm so f**king these are the these are the things that you need to be doing. This is how this is so much growth. Like, you are talking to somebody. You're like, I have nothing to hide. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. It is what it is. None of us are perfect. We all have our weird little quirks and quirks and all the different things that make us us. Pecadillos. Finding somebody. You're peccadillos. Amen. Amen. And it's it's finding somebody or not even finding somebody, but allowing somebody in to see those things. Because that's where, like, real trust and real really healthy relationships are built is in being able to fully see each other. And I think that's the scariest part is, like, we wanna be fully seen by somebody, but that means we have to allow ourselves to be kind of fully exposed. And you're not gonna be able to build that foundation unless, you know, the parts that make you you are able to be seen, and you're at peace with those parts or at general peace. Right? And you're like, alright. Well, this is what it is. So I love that. And I love that you said CDO, and that is so Yeah. And if that throws him off, then he's not your dude, and and god bless him. Yeah. Honestly, like, I'm I'm old enough to know better that I want somebody to really see me exactly as me, not as this perfect thing that I'm a facade that I'm trying to put up to be more attractive, to be, more likable, to be more desirable, to fit into the picture of what you want for a long term relationship better. I'm just gonna be exactly me. And if you like me and all of those things, like, you don't just you aren't just attracted to me but you like me, then then, like, this could work. And the the other thing that I'm really I'm really appreciating about this process is that it's very empowering to get to just be yourself. And I think it also made it very easy for him to also be, like, really honest in himself. And the other thing that I'm noticing is is, like, my icks. So here's here's here's what I've realized about icks. Right? Yep. Is that I I get icks often, and I I really can't shut them off once they happen. But when I get the ich, instead of just holding it in and, like, not saying anything, I realized I need to just call it out and tell him, no. Hear me out. Hear me out. Oh, god. What'd you do? This is probably why he called me alpha in a text thread. Right? I just call out the ick. So for so for example, in like a past relationship, he would do something and I'd be like, oh, god. That is so bad. Like, that that is just so unattractive and I just it's spinning in my OCD loop. I'm icked, I'm icked, it's just now super icky, and I'm stuck in the ich and I can't get out. Yeah. And it just compounds. Right? And then the other eggs get folded into the mix and it's just a big icky stoop. So so in this situation, we're texting, no eggs have happened, and then I I said something and he sent a GIF. And when I tell you it was the lamest, worst GIF, it was so stupid, It was not funny. It was not relevant. It was so predictable. And I was like, oof. And I was like, I just got the ick. And then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna call it out. And so I was like, you know, I'm not that judgmental, but something I am hyper judgmental on is your gift game. And I was like, so if it's not good, it's like, I'm gonna call it out. And I was like I was like, on a scale of 1 to 10, just so you know, that was a one. And he was like, oof, that got me. And then he sent another one that was a little bit better, and I was like, 1.5? And he's like, oh, you're not kidding. And I was like, no. I'm actually dead serious about this. So then we made a game out of it, and then every now and then he would send a GIF and I would rate it, and I'd be like, alright, we're at a 5. Okay. We're at a 7.2. And so then it became like and I'd be like, dude, you just sent me a one again. Like, stop with the icky GIFs. And so it became a game where we're like now joking about it, and so by me calling out my ick and just owning that I don't like it and that I'm gonna judge you for it, it allowed him it it made it not so icky because then when he gets a one, now I think it's funny and cute as opposed to icky. You know what I mean? And also okay. Let me, all my ladies listening to this are laughing their a*s off right now just like I am because what you just established in that process with it hot You you just established the the most one of the most important things is that now he's just trying to please you. So all he's trying to do is get your your approval and and to make sure that Gayle it it is to Gayle's standard. So guess what? Which it listen. As women, it's the whole the whole, like have you heard, like, the black cat golden retriever concept? No. Oh my god. Okay. Okay. So there's this concept on the Internet that was talking about why in traditional, like, cisgender, like, man and woman relationships, It's really helpful when a woman is a black cat and she has that kind of energy, and the man is the golden retriever. And these are kind of archetypes. And having been a black cat in relationships, not too many, and then having been a golden retriever in all the other ones, I can attest that I do think this is true. And I just think it's part of, like, feminine energy and being able to sit in your feminine power is that when you're doing that, you kind of carry more energy of, like, a black cat. Like, you're not the one coming to them and doting on them and like, oh my god. What can I do for you? And he's like, you're mysterious. Well, you're a you're the one that's accepting the help and determining if it suits you, which is, I think, when we're really in our strong feminine energy, we have that kind of discerning power. We know that our greatest power is in saying yes or no, is in what we accept versus what we reject. And that is kind of like queen energy. Like, you pick what you allow in. I mean, that's Honestly, cats are very judgmental. Like, cats are Yes. Super judgmental, whereas dogs are just like, play with me. Play with me. Let's play. You wanna play? Let's play. Like, yeah. I mean, I love dogs. I love dogs for that reason. Like, they are just love incarnate, and they're fantastic. Hold on. Just so just so everybody listening is aware, when Kendall just demonstrated let's play, she just threw her leg straight up in the air over her head. I don't know what you're playing. That's not in the way. I just cracked my leg, which then also now that's not now that's not helping. I'm not helping my classmates. All I saw was your leg got thrown up over the camera. Okay. I will say can we a quick side note too. Because I haven't been riding a cycling bike copious amount of hours a week, the fact I can do that again is amazing. Okay? This hip mobility is coming back. Because you're right, Mallory, for copious amounts. Yep. Daily, what is your middle name? I wanna yell I I need your full My middle name is Alex. You know that. Oh my god. You're right. Daily Alex from the scene. How dare you? I'm like, I'm sorry. I like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My mother listens these episodes. Honestly, she's gonna text me and be like, that was hilarious. I support the joke. Like, my mom will literally laugh. You know that. And thank you for that, Susie, and I will still decorate your home when you move to Florida. Oh my god. I know. Guys. Guys. It's happening. Oh my god. We gotta talk about your house. So Oh, we do have to talk. Kendall and I Kendall and I are, like, wiped on rice on these on what's happening with this house. You you poor designers at this house. Like, they because there's, like, the the builder, and then there's, like, the designer for the builder, and then I and then it's Gailey and I, and then it's our discerning eyes. And so we get photo updates, like, every 2 weeks or so of the house, and it's, like, really coming on. I can't like, I'm kinda freaking out. It's like it's actually happening. It's very real. And we found this last week. I opened it up, and I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. It is the most beautiful stone. It's Taj Mahal quartzite in most places, which ironically is exactly what Gailey already has in her place with the leather finish. Finish. Leather. Has to be lettered. So we made all these great decisions about how we're gonna put the stone in all, like, countertops, kitchen, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Here's the issue. I did not know that when the stone was gonna get installed, they were gonna put, like, a what's it called? A splash guard or, like, a border? Yeah. It would be it's basically where you don't want the water to splash out of a sink or, like, go across the counter and hit the drywall. So you do this stone border or, like, that's why in a kitchen you have the backsplash running all the way up. But because they're just doing the countertop with no tile on the back, they do, like, a bookend version of the countertop on top of it up, like, 3 inches, and they run it all the way around the countertop and on the sides, which And on the sides. So my whole thing is I looked, and I'm going through these photos. I'm with my mom, and I'm like, mom, I hate it. And she's like, what? And I I was like, there's a border. The it's ugly. Like, there's gonna be dust that's gonna collect on the top of that. I want it to look really chic and, like, modern. I don't mind it on the backside behind where the sink is because I know myself, and Gayle knows me when I use her bathroom, that I do get water there. And, you know, we've talked about this. I on the counters here in DC, I do wipe it down with a little towel. We so Kendall. When last time you used my powder bath, you somehow managed to, like, take the towel off of the hook and reverse it. You, like, Missy Elliott flipped flipped it and reversed it and then barely hung it back on the hook. Meanwhile, I don't know why you did that because you left water droplets all over the top of the handle, the faucet. And I was, like, I don't know, like, hurricane Kendall just came through here. I don't know. Like, it was like it was like impossibly messy. I don't I don't even know. And I was like, I love her. I love her, but I couldn't live with her. I will say, like, I don't know why washing my hands. I don't care how careful I am. I think it's the shape of my long fingers. I'm gonna blame my finger. Water splashes everywhere. I don't know. The bulls**t the bulls**t you have coming out of your mouth right now needs to go back in that toilet and close before you flush it. Because I don't know how and your fingernails? Come on. Hang on. I know. They're not even long anymore. Like, I cut them and I got like, I don't know. I'm letting my nails breathe. Anyway bulls**t. Yeah. You're right. That was total bulls**t. I tried. I tried. I and I you guys. Like, I seriously am not. I love it. Like, when people even on the Internet are, like, she, like she's fake. She's this. I'm, like, guys, I couldn't if I tried. I wish. No. No. I wish. I know Kendall does not know how to be anything but Kendall because you are so intensely Kendall. Intensely Kendall. That is actually exactly it. Yeah. Precisely it. Like, even like, you heard I was talking to Gayle on the phone, and my mom and I oh, god bless. We were trying to, like, get into this mall to do a little bit of Christmas shopping, and then my mom scrapes the side of her Tesla on I'm like, oh, f**k. I'll f**k. I'll f**k. I'm like, mom, your tires. And, like, it's just and then we're stressed, and my mom and I are, like, bickering. And I'm like, I'm sorry, Gailey. I'm sorry. Hold on. Like, it was it was chaos because everything is intense in my family household and it is But also, like, all of the pieces of the puzzle came together in that moment. And I was like, after hearing CIA Susie in the car and hearing her rims scrape the side of some sort of cement platform while Kendall is in the car and they're both screaming. I was like, everything makes sense. Like, this is why Kendall is who Kendall is. Like, the chaos is genetic and I love it. Yeah. My my my poor my poor dad. Like, it was so interesting. When my great grandmother was about to pass, which sounds really dark and macabre, but the reason I say this, she was, like, 96. This woman was making stripper jokes about the pole in her bedroom when she was 93. Like, she lived a great life. Grandma d is a real one. But grand d, we told my my mom and I she's like, by the way, you 2 be easy on Rick, which is my dad. That's AquaDab, guys. Then she's like, be easy on Rick because he's got 2 of you running around, and that's just a lot. That's literally what she said. She she called my mom and I a lot because we are. We're we're, like, we're fire and fire. So it's just like, hi. Here's a blaze. Today. The fact that that is what she is thinking about on her deathbed does not hurt me. Because I would also be scared for Aquadad, and I'd be like He's in the water. That's why okay. That's why he's cool. Like, he is the water. My mom and I are fire. And what's good is when we're together, it's steam. Alex is very much water. Alex is very calm and flowy. Oh, I love that. It's steam. I love that. Everyone loves a good steam shower. I know. Steam is lovely. It's great for the pores. It's great for the skin. It's warm. It's cozy. It's calming. Fire is too much. Water can drown you. So, you know, we're steam. Steam is the goal. But And I am wind because and that makes sense why I'm blowing leaves all morning for the rest of my life with my leaf blower because I like, wind is my sign. So, like, I just love I just love blowing wind. Not in no. No. I did not say that. He gots a b***h. Oh my gosh. Okay. So We're removing the side pieces. That's what it came down to, guys. The side pieces on the border, we're getting rid of. And we convinced them to do it because, well, anything Gayle says goes. So, like, you will make it happen, and we will make it happen. So yeah. So the side pieces are getting we're getting rid of them, and then we realized how ironic that is because we also just don't believe in ever being side pieces or allowing them into our lives. So the rule of thumb is if you're doing a border on a countertop, get rid of the side pieces. Yeah. You can have it, you know, right behind the sink across the back wall, but don't have it, like, turn the corner and come on and, like, flank the side of the sink and that side wall just because it looks very eighties. And, unless you're living with a Kendall tool, you probably won't get water over there so you're good. The irony is I probably need the side pieces. It's like bumpers. I know. You you do. But I, like, I'm I'm kind of putting my faith and trust in Alex that he'll just kind of, like, keep you in the center so that you can't migrate over with the water. And then the other thing is as as they're sending pictures to look at the back slash, I'm like, and I start circling all these things. Like, this handle is like 2 degrees off. We need to straighten it. Do you mind having them install it with a vertical level to make sure to ensure that it is straight? And if the hole when they have to redrill it is off, we need to redo the cabinet front. And I am just, like, all over it and I can just feel Kendall's like, no. I don't have to send emails. Gayle will send them for me with her OCD, ADHD. It's great. I love it. I love it. Listen, guys. Like, that's you have to that's where it is, a superpower. You just have to learn how to wield it. We all have our our our little things that they can destroy or they can build. It's a tool. Oh my god. I hate myself for this for this analogy. But every it like, mental health stuff is a tool, and it's all how you use it. And sometimes you just don't need to you need to put the tool away. Sometimes you need to tell the tool not to slash water all over your sink candle, which I I'm the tool. Yes. It me it's me. Hi. Oh. Oh. Oh, quick side note. Quick other little gossip thing of pop culture. Did you see I feel like an a*****e. Blake Lively had just that, don't you? Yes. I'm so glad you brought this up. I wanted to talk about this. Oh my god. I feel like I I feel like I was on the right side of history. But I thought I feel bad. I really thought that because because of the way that she when she said grab your florals, do this, come to the movie, and then it came down from Sony, Sony, of course, didn't fall on the sword, that that was their push to do to make the marketing really uplifting to try to counteract what they knew the drama was behind the scenes. That is literally what I said on the pad. I said, I feel like Blake Lively's PR team is doing a horrible job because what if she was doing this? Now, I didn't anticipate it was because somebody else told her but I was like, what if she's talking about it like like a rom com girly get all your girls together and go? What if she's doing that so that more people will go and watch it? Because if she puts it out as, like, like a domestic abuse violence against women movie, then chances are not as many women are gonna get excited to go see it in groups and then you don't educate as many people about how easily relationships can hide this and that your friends can be suffering and you not even realize it and all all the things that all the messaging that they're trying to get. So I was like, her PR team's doing a horrible job if that's why she did this because that's actually a great reason. You know? Yeah. And not being able to I think there's a lot of lessons in it too because I think her PR team needed to be much more reactive when things started to slip. I think they tried to play the high road, but in that position, there was so much damage being done. And you guys, like, I feel I I mean, I full on owning it. I totally saw it based off of the narrative that was coming off and how Justin Baldoni's team really seemed spot on. And he was addressing the issue, and he was talking about the problems. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I have more trust in that type of direct communication. But to watch the direct communication, quote, unquote, about that be weaponized, essentially, against Blake to create this whole campaign. Guys, you have to read the lawsuit. You have or the complaint Yeah. Through 80 pages. My good friend, Annie Elise, who has a podcast, seriously, she does a deep dive because she's so used to reading cases. It's on her Patreon for free, so you can listen to it. Plug for my friend, but, honestly, that's where I was, like, able to listen and understand, and she broke it all down. They have screenshots of the crisis PR manager or the crisis PR person with the head of the production company, and, like, oh my god. It's working in our favor. We could bury her if we want to. Like, all this terrible s**t. And I think it's such a lesson for everybody how social media and how jumping on a bandwagon and not having discernment or at least giving both parties saying, I don't understand all the facts. I I we I don't know the full story. Let me not make a snap judgment. We have to start doing that. We cannot just go with the flow of, like, whatever is trending and, like, vilifying people in that way because Blake Lively, even though I do think her PR team should've done a better job, 2 things are true at the same time. Her PR team should've done a better job. And, also, she was trying to save face in a situation that she was up against a wall. Like, the stuff that they were doing on that set is so not okay. And the fact they had to hire, for the record y'all, a full time intimacy coordinator, that's literally if that happens on a set, it's bad. It is bad because you're essentially having someone there watching to see if sexual harassment is gonna occur. That should never happen on a set where you have to have a full time intimacy coordinator, and shame on Sony for not reading the tea leaves when that came down the pipeline. They just wanted it buried and not have to deal with it. That was effed. That was super effed. I think I think a lot of things happened at once. Like, on on one hand, I will say, you know, I I definitely I actually felt bad for Blake Lively, and I felt like her team wasn't doing anything and his team was doing the most to bury her. And so, like, I I never I never spoke negatively about her, gave opinion on it other than that her her PR team's bad. But what I did say, and I I do still stand behind, is the way she treated that reporter in that one interview was was not okay. Right? Like, even even if the reporter said something so offensive and horrible to her and then acted super nice and interested in her pregnancy and all of that on camera, you still have to, like, you know, I don't know, be self aware enough to know that there's a camera on you and 2 women are ganging up on another woman acting very dismissive. And and, like, that, I didn't like. Right? And I I will stand behind that. I think this is a a big note is that you're spot on. When you can have anything be cut down into a clip or to a 30 second moment where everybody is judging and making a a decision on your entirety of your character Yeah. We're never gonna get it right. All of us. Like, right, if we think about like, for example, I was obviously frustrated on that flight. I wasn't sleeping, whatnot. I'm sure if I was loud and raised my voice or was a total you know what, and let's say somebody had a phone out, and they're like, oh my god. Kendall is such a b***h. She's such a diva. She's such a this. Even though what was happening on the flight shouldn't have been happening. Granted, I didn't I didn't say or do anything like this, but it's having that self awareness to know, like, anyone can make a snap judgment, a snap decision. I agree. I think the way that Blake treated that interviewer was really messed up. I also do believe that people can learn from their mistakes, and I also believe we we can't, like, hold people to all of their past misgivings, but there is also unimportance to have accountability as well. And it just celebrities are human beings, period. Like, they're not they're not gods. They're not perfect. They're and we have to stop expecting that out of people. But heinous behavior, sexual harassment behavior, greed, theft, fraud, all of that, that is uncalled for. People can have good days and bad days. And in this particular instance, nobody, I don't care who you are, nobody deserves to have that kind of a treatment on a set to feel unsafe and to feel as if you have to fight and advocate for yourself, and that's really screwed up. And now I kind of understand if Ryan Reynolds came in and, quote, unquote, wrote the rooftop scene, and he was on set so much because I can imagine someone's husband would be really pissed off to hear that this is what's happening to his wife on set, and he wants to make sure that he has eyes on the situation. Like, it's it's yikes. It is yikes. Yeah. And and just we don't know what we don't know. I always try to think of that. Right? Like, I don't know what I don't know, and I'm sure there's certain moments in my life where, like, I've said something. And if that had been taken out of context, it would be complete the complete antithesis of my character and my value system. But if it was taken out of context, I could look awful. I can't really think of any example because I really try never I'm a faunter. Right? Like, I'm not a fighter. So, like Well, like, I'm very English. I never do this. The most fight you're gonna get out of me is I'm gonna say you look pretty good instead of really good. Like, that's the most aggressive I will get if I'm angry with somebody. But Or if it's about an inanimate object, you can be very direct, which is great because that's design. Because it doesn't have things. But I but I but did you notice my delivery? Did you notice my delivery in the email? I was like, everybody, this is looking great. I'm so excited. You're doing a great job. Also, just wanna make sure, like, in this and this and this, do you mind just checking and make sure it's all vertical? We're gonna have a lot of eyes on this, and we're so excited, so we just wanna get it great. Thanks for all of your time and energy. I could've just been like, yo, that is off. Fix it. But instead, I just use all these fluff words because I just wanna make sure nobody's feelings are hurt. But I do need to get those damn handles straight. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. I'm I'm much more I'm the most more, hey, guys. Love it. Here's I like this. I like this. I do like the positive thing first always, but then I'm like, hey. This, this, this. Because, for me, I'm just like, I don't wanna waste someone's time. Like, this is what it is. This is what I'm gonna tell you. And I'm not mad about it. I'm not upset at anybody. And this is what this happens in building, but let's get it fixed. I'll waste I'll waste everybody's time, including my own, just to make sure that no one's feelings are hurt. Like, no one's panties are in a twist. Everyone's going to sleep not angry. That's all I care about. This is where we're different. I'm But I know. This is also why we work. Like, if I was a fighter like you, we would we would like, my one of our ears would be bitten off. You know, like, we would never be able to work through stuff, but because, like, I come in one way and you come and I can see when you're hot, and I know how to deflect it and you can see when I'm really hurting, but I'm not stinking up, so you know how to pull it out of me and fight for me to give me that strength to stand up more for myself. You know, like, it's a very healthy balance, I think, in our friendship that we're we're not both that same, like, response when we're hurt or angry. You know, we're very different now. And having but I think that's what's good is having that awareness about how you are. And, again, accepting yourself, like, accepting the fact that doesn't matter how you respond. There's no perfect way to respond ever. It's all emotional intelligence. And, god, the more, g*****n, the more I go through life, emotional intelligence is just understanding how what your strengths and not weaknesses, but more where where your strengths can kind of not always be a strength in every room. And knowing how to be empathic with the person across from you or the peoples across from you and be like, alright. How do I need to communicate to ensure that we can get where we need to go and we can do this together? And watching and navigating that is through life experience. It's also through self discovery, though, and, like, knowing, okay. I can be a certain way, so I need to counter this. I I completely when people say that they're they're really deep empaths and they have really high EQ, their emotional intelligence is off the charts, I I just I don't know, I feel like we throw those words around so much and I think I'm I up until recently, I always thought emotional intelligence was about your ability to read other people and how they're feeling and how you absorb it and how you react to it. But I actually think, like, 90% of emotional intelligence is just how well you know yourself. Yeah. Because if you really know yourself, then you know how you can react to somebody else's reaction, you know, or anticipate what somebody else's reaction is gonna be, but then anticipate how it's gonna impact you, but then how you need to convert what how what you're really feeling into what is most helpful for them. It actually comes back to you. So people with the highest EQ, I think, are the people that are really self reflective and introspective, and they've spent some time really understanding what are their hot points, what are their weak points, what are their pressure points, what are their anxious points, and and how how do they express that in a healthy way instead of just internalizing or completely combusting. Exact that's absolutely spot on, and it is. It's that give and take of the relationship that's so important. Like, you don't know how best to help another person until you first know how you can help. It's like showing up on a site or showing up like, for example, you're not going to send a brain surgeon in if someone needs a leg amputated. Could you? Yeah. They can probably get some is it gonna be as good of work as if the person who specializes in it is there? No. So you have to know what you specialize in, what you're what you don't specialize in, and then being able to understand whatever you're communicating with somebody, literally anybody, there's always a goal. There's always an objective, which I think is really interesting. And so if you're really good and have high EQ and spent time with yourself, you understand that you're trying to remove the obstacles to getting to that goal, and you're trying to do that together. And so the obstacle could be, for me, oftentimes, my obstacle can be my passion or my, like, fieriness to go after it and do it now, and I have to tone down that kind of passion with certain people because it's not the message I'm trying to deliver is not gonna be received that right way because they have a dispute communicating. So I have to be smart enough to pull that back and then be like, oh, actually, a better way to do this is to speak to them in this manner because I know that their strength is in feeling safety first, and then that's who is gonna get there. So that's I I learned this actually years ago. I did this play, teeny tiny little play, tiny little it was in a tiny little, theater, like 99 seat theater in LA. Very heavy subject matter. Really cool play. Great cast, whatever. All the actors are, like, been in LA for, like, 40 years, but on every TV show. And the guy who is the director, has done a ton of TV and and, again, really, really smart guy. And I remember we were doing a table read of the play and going through the script. It was early days. We were just in in rehearsals. And he I noticed how he would give notes to each actor differently. And what I mean by that is, like, he would talk to them differently about the exact same thing, and he was so intelligent. I mean, the guy I think he went to Yale. He was super smart. Not that going to Yale makes you smart, but, I mean, he I mean, it kinda does, but go ahead. Smart. Like and and he's, like was a lovely guy. Grew up as a kid actor and then just started directing and writing. Really have a lot of respect for him. And I I learned so much that day. I think I was, like, 15, and I saw how he told each of us the same note but in a different way. And then when we went and marked it and then rehearsed, we all it all clicked. And I was like, oh, that's how you do it. You have to understand how to speak to people so that you can get the outcome that everybody's looking for. And I think that makes it, like, a great leader, a great CEO, a great business owner is knowing all it is is knowing how to speak to people and how Exactly. You can extrapolate that philosophy onto so many other spaces where people are delivering messages. So that could be the coach of a team, right, and how they're coaching the different players, like like a female soccer players or male basketball players. Like, the coach is gonna handle them differently each individually based it's same thing with a parent. Right? Like, my parents have 4 kids and I guarantee you, if they were calling all of us to give us the same serious news about something, it would be delivered a little differently to all 4 of us. Even the mode of communication, one might be a text, one might be a phone call, one might be a FaceTime, one might be a, hey, can you come home this afternoon at 2 o'clock? You know, like, we gotta tell you something in person. Like, it's just it's it's so That would send me. Like, tell me now. What's going on? Oh my god. It's like Oh, yeah. They can never get away with that with me. I'd be like, tell me now. Like, I'm driving. I'm going 80 miles an hour to get there. It's like, no. That's not it. But that's and that's so spot on. And I think that you know, it's funny how you go through life and you learn those things. And then you also learn you learn a lot about what capacity is. Like, you have to know what your capacity is to be able to navigate those situations. And knowing your capacity about what your you know where I'm going with this. I'm smiling so big right now, Kendall. I know you so well. It is the second you said that, I was like, she's going. She's going in. Wholeheartedly is brought to you by my favorite, Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. I don't know about you, but I know every time I'm listening to a podcast, I'm doing dishes, I'm cleaning, I'm recaulking a floorboard, I'm dancing with my dogs, I'm doing something. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now too. That is getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you could save money by doing it right from your phone. 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Kendall Kendall and I have something to tell you and I'll I'll let Kendall share it. Oh, yes. Then we're gonna do it. Okay. I'm gonna hold on. I if you're if you're driving, just keep both hands on the wheel. I mean, this might not be a big shock, but but, like, we we are gonna drop a little truth bomb on you right here. So I am the direct rip off the band aid type of girlie, so I was gonna get right into it y'all. This is gonna be our last episode of Wholeheartedly. We love you. That's the first thing I wanna say is we absolutely love you, and we've loved this journey. And we love all of you that have been consistently listening week over week, and I know this probably feels like a sucker punch to the gut. But at the same time, Gayle and I had a great conversation, a great sit down about exactly that, about capacity and about how precious our time is and how precious y'all's time is and if this is the best mode for us to provide you guys what we wanna give you and if this is the best way for us to do that for you and for ourselves. We're both building very big things. I gotta keep my eyes on this very big thing I'm building and pour into that, and I think same goes for Gayle. So we wanted to make sure that we could provide you guys with community and wonderful conversations, but we have to pivot how we do that. And something that we collectively have worked so, so hard on on our platforms, on the things that Kendall and I are gonna be going on to build that I I think are are far bigger than what we're capable of doing with the podcast. Those things have been consistently authentic and real and honest, and that's what we wanted to bring to wholeheartedly is we wanted to have conversations about difficult things, about funny things, about about, mental health things that are just really, really honest and real in hopes that it could add value to somebody listening. And so how we're going to exit, this this little endeavor of ours is in the exact same way, which is super honest and super real. And we could sit here and say, oh, like, we, we just we we were only gonna do this through the end of the year, so this was always the plan. Or we could sit here and and say that, you know, we just, like, we just don't have enough time, But Sekendal and I had a really long talk about the how honest we wanted to be with you all about this, and we just wanna say, like, as an entrepreneur, you probably fail 20 times before you get a win. And in a sense, because we're closing this down early, I don't think we would consider this, you know, in our perfectionist, high achieving books. We wouldn't consider this a huge win. And let's be honest, if we were getting a 1000000 downloads every week, then we would probably be stopping everything else and doing this because it was a huge stream of revenue, and it was it was a it was great for our brands, and it was building, and it was getting bigger, and we're just all in. But that's not the case. We're in a crowded space and we gave it our best and this is one of those things that we tried and it didn't work, but what I'm really grateful to Kendall for is that, you know, I'm I'm really bad about cutting things off even when it's time, which is probably why I stay in relationships a lot longer than I should. And Kendall is very smart about, alright, like, this is this is, like, the time to value ratio is not worth the value of our time. And so we just need to, like, fold them and move to the next thing and keep it going. And that is such a boss move and it it's allowing me to take on that same energy, which I'm so grateful for. And so, yeah, guys, like, not everything you're gonna you're you not everything you try is gonna work out and it's gonna be a success, but you do need to know when you've given it enough to say, okay. Let's move to the next thing. And just look at it as a learning experience. And I look at it as just it was a great way to connect with you all in a totally different way. So I'm so grateful for the listens and the shares because we do have a lot of listeners, and we are so grateful for you. Yes. It Daly said it nail on the head, and that's exactly it. I saw this really cool interview. In fact, Alex sent it to me. It was after we had a phone call, and we went through everything. And I was like, look. I think what we have to do I always believe in moving early and often in with anything in life. And, like, when you know that something isn't hitting in the way that maybe you would have hoped. It's much better to look it dead in the face and say, you know what? We went full in, and we we sent it, and we tried. And I think that's what's really important. I saw Matthew McConaughey was being interviewed, and he said, the biggest thing is, like, just I'm gonna try to do his voice. He's like, do it with your whole no. That was like I started doing Jennifer Coolidge whole time. I was like, that's Jennifer Coolidge. I'm here. Oh my god. Makes me want a hotdog real bad. Real bad. Real bad. Alright. What the So good. You know what? I actually your Jennifer Coolidge is so good. I think you should do it in her voice. So what did what did Matthew Coolidge say? So if you remember Matthew McConaughey, he was in an interview and he said, if I wanna do something, I wanna do it with my whole a*s. That was so good. What have you done with your whole ass? You don't have regrets. You know? Okay. It's okay. And you don't fully do it. You don't know if it's fully worth it. Well, you gotta do it with your whole a*s and then realize, yeah, that didn't work, and that's okay. But if you do it only half assed, you picked me up in the middle of the night. And you don't like that. No. I I honestly Kendall, I thought I might cry on this episode. I did not anticipate I would be crying from laughing because I literally have tears in my eyes right now. Seeing your face while you're doing that is so so perfect. For the record, you guys, I f**king love Jennifer Coolidge so much. Yeah. To a woman who is, like, core character in my childhood development. But, anyway, long story short and through the voice of Jennifer Coolidge and not Matthew McConaughey, we you wanna go into life, and I'm proud of us for this. It's like, we full went in. We're like, alright. We're gonna commit to this. We're gonna do this every single week. We're gonna do everything that we can. It's difficult. We're in 2 separate places are with 2 different video qualities. My Scheduling this was so I'm sorry. I'm get mom, like, love me through this. I'm gonna say it. Scheduling this podcast every week was so f**king hard. God. I said the f word. I could like, there's no better word. Say whatever the f**k you wanna say. I will stand on that and and bless our producer, Casey, and Alastair, and everybody at podcast 1 because it was a b***h to nail us down. Like, we are I am I'm like colors on the wind. I'm literally, like, every where am I this week? I don't know. Carmen f**king San Diego. Carmen San Diego. But, like, can I just be her? Yeah. Just be her. It's okay. Yes. So what what it's coming down to, it's totally bittersweet. It's not that we don't love doing this. It's not that we don't love talking to you guys, but we also have to be really respectful. Like, we're gonna tell you of our time and of our energy and of what we're pouring into. And there's such beautiful things ahead. And with the best part is that, also, like, we're all friends now. We're not going anywhere. There's gonna be a 1000000 other ways to connect to us, and I'm just grateful, Gayle, that, like, this whole process has been such a beautiful thing for us as women in our friendship and growing even faster together. And that is my greatest takeaway is, like, damn. We've grown. We've grown in 6 months. Like, that's that's it. Like, that's really impressive. I have I've always loved our conversations, and I've always treasured our friendship, but I have learned so much from you that I don't think if we had taken our friendship into this platform, I don't think it would have forced us to have as frequent, as long, and consistent conversations about the things that we did. And I'm changed because of it. And I I can only imagine somebody who's listened to any of these hopefully feels the same way, and it's just because I I I learn things about myself. I learn things through you that I'm aspiring to have more of in my life and be more like. And it's, I also have so much respect for everybody in the podcast space. Like, podcast 1, they work so hard and there's so much that all these people do. We have amazing editor, Casey. Like, there's so much that everybody does behind the scenes that, like, you'll they'll never get recognition for. And and I just I hope when you listen to podcasts, you know that there's there's so many people behind these working so hard to bring it to you. And, and to Kendall's point, there's so many other ways that you guys can connect with us. Like, I'm gonna be putting on my Bumble stories. I'm literally screenshotting my conversations and putting them up on my Instagram stories. So you can always find me on social media at gaylyalex. Kendall is forever at kendletool on Instagram, on TikTok. She posts a lot more than I do, so you see a lot of reels all the time. I do more stories, because I don't wanna take up too much space because I'm scared of everything. But I really I really think that, you know, between NKO Club and, things and the products I'm putting out, there's just so many other ways. You guys are gonna get just as much information, behind the scenes stories, products, coaching from Kendall, all these all these amazing things. And so we're technically not yeah. It's coming. So we're we're technically not going anywhere. We just won't be on your podcast. Alright, friends. Oh, wait. Wait. Wait. Kendra, you came up with the the final song. You gotta share it. So I do it like Jennifer Coolidge. Yes. You gotta know when to hold them. Know when to fold them. Know when to wait. f**k. What What was the song? It know when to hold them, know when to fold them. And so like, they're smart. Right? I think that's it. I don't know. I'm not No. That's that that's it. So we're so we're folding them only on the podcast, but we're totally still holding them with all of you with our whole hearts, and we will never forget this experience. And, yeah, you'll be able to watch us design and decorate and install Kendall's beautiful home together, and that's coming up. So we're really excited to be sharing that. So there's just gonna be so many more fun things just not on this platform, but we love you guys. We love you so much. We love you with our whole hearts. You guys will forever be the special crew that was a part of Gali and Kendall's wholeheartedly experiment, and, truly, you guys are the real one. So we love you. We will miss you, but we're also just gonna see you everywhere else we see you and in a 1000000 more places. So sign our and see you over there. Love you guys so much. Bye. It's not our shortest episode ever.
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