Transcript
So are we supposed to start the podcast, OK? One, two three Oh. First, right out of the box after a little break, I saw a little troll on YouTube that said they were sick of the clap. Oh, they don't like my clap blasphemy that is so hateful. It's so mean they don't realize how hard I work on that. That's the stuff that hurts. Like calling us bitter old cows and old hags could give to s**t over botoxed. Don't care, bring it. But criticizing the clap pumps clap. I mean, it's really the best part of the show. Sometimes it's totally it's totally the best part of this heaping pile of garbage that we produce twice a week. That's right, it is Fast Furious with that comment. You have time to go, delete and or comment on your comment and take it back. Amend it. Somehow amend it. Take it back. Amend the record. Amend the record. Perhaps what have you had it with this week? OK, what I've had it with is when you go to a doctor's appointment and your doctor's appointment at 2:30, yes, and right when you sign in, they make you put the time that you arrived. Right? And they say it's plain as day. It's like posted. If you're more than 15 minutes late, we're going to have to reschedule you. But you sit your fat a*s in the chair for an hour or an hour and a half, right? And they act like because I'm like, if it's 15 minutes for you, it's 15 minutes for me. So every 16th minute I'm like, Hey, I had a 2:30 appointment. It's, you know, are we close? Oh, well, she's just really backed up. OK, number one, tell me that when I sign in right, right? Or be like, give me an update. Sometime when I'm sitting there for an hour and a half, it just grinds my ears. I know doctors go to school for a hundred years. I get all that. I respect the profession, but they're the only profession on the planet that gets to be an hour and a half late with zero apologies, zero updates and just act like it's fine. And it's not fine because if you're 15 minutes late, you don't get your appointment. So I've had it with doctor's office etiquette. I completely agree with you totally. I think in the technological age, the doctors need to send a text correct. We are running 30 minutes behind. Because when you have careers like you and I do place children, those 30 minutes can be an errand that you can run, right? And instead, you're sitting on your phone. Look at a bunch of bulls**t on Instagram, right? Getting mad because your time is getting wasted and the doctor. I get that. They're busy, but everybody's busy. Everybody's busy. I had a client that was a doctor once, and he wanted me to go to his office and look at decorating. So I go, This is for an interior design appointment, right? And it's like at two p.m. I wait to. 2:30, 2:45 finally, I texted him and I'm like, I have to leave, I can't be here this long like this. I'm not going through this. Finally, he tacks back and I'm not kidding you. Sorry. I was saving someone's life. Oh, f**k off. It's like that God complex, right? If you're you'd be in a hospital. If you're saving somebody's life, you're in your office dicking around that doctors have. And it's like, Look, I respect the profession, but quit acting like, you know, you're saving everybody's life. Yes, some doctors do. But most of these things are routine checkups, and we're getting decked over and the customer service is s**t. I'm just this is going all through me. I'm saving someone's life. Yeah, what a dick. I wish you would have texted it back. Well, the next time you're not saving someone's life won't make another appointment because you're sitting in your office or seeing patients. For one, here's the deal their staff scrub techs nurses around in the hospital that can get a message relayed Tell Jennifer Welch I'm running 45 minutes behind saving someone's life. OK, great. But it's just there. I like doctors, but they're not all doctors, but a lot of them can have this God complex. Yes. And this out of check ego that I think definitely needs to be checked. I mean that that just goes all through me. Yes. Lucky because our doctors are really pretty good. They're right on time. Yes. Are normal doctors. But those specialist doctors? Oh my gosh. It's just like, Come on now. OK, let me tell you what I've had it with. What have you had it with? So I was looking on Instagram and there was this gal that was like, Oh my for you, page. And she's like, full face of makeup, hair completely done. And like a total like Brazilian style bikini with mountains and ocean behind her. And the comment says, I'm obsessed with nature. And I'm like, b***h, you saying you're obsessed with nature is like me saying, I'm obsessed with Bible study, right? It just comes off as being on Instagram because it looks hot that you're obsessed with yourself in with Instagram. Yes. I mean, that's where I want to follow up and comment if I were petty, which I am, but I don't want to waste my energy on this. Like what specific parts of nature are you obsessed with, right? I mean, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with nature. It's such bulls**t. It's kind of like, you're at Africa hashtag. Exactly. I've changed. Exactly, exactly. I can't believe you still can not believe it. Well, I mean, you know what? Number one, it's still on there. I haven't scrubbed it to try to pretend like I'm a different person. You haven't tried to like, I've had so many people manicure and curate their Instagram and go back and delete something that could be embarrassing my s**t. If it's up there, it's up there. It's up, right? Unedited. I'm going to own it. Accountability, I told on myself on the podcast for being a f**king moron, and I have evolved right? And I'm more enlightened. And I used to be a part of the problem. Now I'm a part of the solution. OK, so this made me have another thought. What is the rule, because I am seeing a lot of those Brazilian thong bathing suits right at the lakes, the summer in Oklahoma? OK. And I think if you have a great a*s and you're young and cute and have a great ass, I'm all for it. I want to see your a*s too. Right? But I'm talking. That's your a*s. That's not my a*s. That's not people that have big asses. I saw them on 4th of July weekend. I saw some acid that did not need to be in a thong. Shouldn't there be a rule that like, if you're not, if you don't have the perfect asked, you should just wear regular. Are you talking about thong abuse, thong abuse? That's what it is. I mean, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. If they don't give a f**k and they just have on their thong and they just don't give a s**t and they're confident. Good for them. I just think maybe I'm just that thong thing still is kind of shocking to me. A little bit. I doubt it. It's a little bit shocking to me. I don't. I mean, I think that's a very American Puritan standpoint. In Europe, they have nude beaches. Nobody gives a f**k, do I know? And in South America, they all wear thongs everywhere I go. But I think it's I think it's your Bible thumping background. That's what I think the culprit of this. All roads lead to the Bible thumping background check. Yes, I think you sound like appeared, and I think this is an American prude problem. And I think it. I mean, if you go to Europe, Europeans, all different body styles, they just wear their swimsuits without shame. And there's not this like, we're so in this capitalist society that everything has to look perfect. Some people have good assets. Some people have cellulite asses. But everybody in this country should be able to have the freedom to wear thong tops where their a*s out. OK, where's your f**kin patriotism? I start at the thong situation. Maybe I'll get a thong and hang it on my car like a flag. A thong flag. OK. I just I think I have to say I think good for them. OK. I think I think that you still need some deprogramming from your Puritan upbringing is probably not wrong. Mm hmm. OK, I would like to welcome everybody to I've had it, especially those wearing thongs with a less than perfect derriere. I want you to know I do not judge you and I love you, and I would like to welcome the star of our show, the judgmental pumps. I asked, I didn't say I was just like, Am I wrong? Apparently, I'm wrong. That everybody should wear Thong, Kylie, you don't hate them, do you? I don't hate them. No. I didn't say I hated her. I just said, Wow, I thought you served up some hatred in the press. I just hope I'm surprised that she was wearing a thong. OK, Kylie, what's going on on social media? I know what's going to be going on next week on social media, so I'm all locked and loaded for that one. But what's going on this week in social media? You brought up your Instagram captions. Yes. We've gotten DMs. People have done their due diligence. Oh boy, I'm so excited. Tina deemed us and said she sent a post and it's is it my my? It's a post for my Instagram. Instagram So they went back nine years? Yes. Oh, that's a lot. Who is this person? This is Tina, Tina. That's love, Tina. Thank you. The work, she said. Please surprise Jen with this on the podcast and ask her to explain this out of control. Caption Thank you for your service and it's a post in Italy, OK? Of scenery, can you captioned it? Every day is a winding road. Hashtag copri hashtag Italia. I'll tell you, Italy, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why that one. It's a little more clever than what Tina thought. There is a road in Italy called via croup, and it goes up a mountain in it wines. It goes back and forth. Is showing a zig zag road. It is OK. It's a winding road. Tina, I know, but you're the only person that knows that. So you just look like an a*****e. People that have been to f**king Italy know that, OK, but I'm just saying you look pretty pure. And for the f**king Bible, Thumper? f**king Bible, Thumper. All right. Three hashtags. Now it's bad. Three. Happy to give that. I'm going to give that one a c because I know that there are some f's. I've got an F.. OK. OK. Oh, OK. I'm going to give the winding road a C. I can't defend it. Although the road is winding, this one needs explanation. OK, OK, OK, I'm OK. Drew deemed us OK. Is Welche Post K that says Anguilla for the win. OK. Hashtag spring break. Hashtag blessed. Know what I'm doing that tongue in cheek. I've been using hashtag. You do you believe? I swear to God I do. No, no, no. I was that you guys cannot. I'm an atheist on the record. My entire life as an atheist, I use the hashtag blessed to make fun of the blessed community. I know I don't even I hate the word blessed. I used it as a joke. There are others that I deserved to be made fun of, but I'm doing that one as a joke. Permanent record. I'm an atheist, Herman. I've always been an atheist. My parents are atheists. I f**king hate the blessed community. I cannot stand Bible thumping, but you all people use the word blast. It irritates the f**k out of me. That's what I'm doing there. What else you got? Drew sent one more. OK, OK. Three We left Drew. It's a photo. Looks like it's taken from an airplane. OK, it says hello. Johan Yarns, Burg. Johannesburg, it is OK, it's don't ever thought out. No, you do not edit that out, Kylie listener. I want you to hear how uncultured the staff as they have to work with. I am so sorry to South Africa that she did not know how to say Johannesburg, and you better f**king leave that in for the permanent record and even know that was in South Africa. Oh my god, I'm so sorry to our South African listeners. All right. And now this is where it's going to get bad. This is where I was at my peak worst. This one says Hello, Johannesburg. Next stop Cape Town. Hashtag. Pinch me. Yeah, that's enough. Can't defend that one. I cannot defend that one. I was psychologically gearing up to do a lot of hashtag abuse. Yeah, yeah, that's bad. What do we think the hashtag limit is? I will say these are all like nine, ten years old. People use more hashtags and also I'm a Gen-Xer. When I first got on Instagram, Sam was like, You're supposed to hashtag, I'm like, OK, I'll do that. So I just started hashtagging, you know, like an idiot and the hashtag, Pinch me, I cannot defend hashtag blessed I'm doing to make fun of the hashtag blessed. Whatever you say, Kylie, I mean, whatever she says, right? Right. If you go, look through my Instagram to see more hashtag blessed, I want it for the permanent record. I'm not a Bible. You were trolling. I'm trolling the Bible thumpers. Do not confuse me with a Bible thumper listener Isaac. Pinch me the I can't defend that. Here's what I have to say to everybody. Is this and actually this needs to be directed at me for the pinch. Me, honestly, but I wrote, God, I mean, I deserve that. I'm going to make that a hashtag. I wrote, God. Oh, that's a great show. I was bad. Like when somebody my age gets on Instagram for the first time and like, you're figuring out how to do it, it's like you use hashtags. So I f**king used hashtags. I'm like, OK, I mean, I just I just, well, you tell me that I had to write, say, hashtag before everything on Instagram, and I did that for six months. I was just f**kin with, you know, I know help, but I didn't know if I tell Pops listeners like, you have to spell out hashtag, you can't just use it. And I was like, hashtag, she had it podcast. She would say, Make sure you spell out that you can't use that. She was like, OK. See, that was me. So anyway, now that hashtag pinch me is really bad, but I am flattered that people went back that far. A for effort, a plus plus on that. It's really good. OK. Listeners, I mean, this has been kind of a s**t show, and I think it's been really good, though, and I deserve all the s**t. I get it, but I will. I mean, I will put it on my tombstone. She opposed the blast community. OK, we'll put that on your tombstone. OK, well, I'm going to put on your reformed Bible Thumper. OK, listener, I cannot tell you how much better we feel at. I've had it because the star of our show is now secure and safe because we have installed simply and pumps as home pumps. How do you feel about it? I really do like it. It makes me feel a lot more secure and gives me peace of mind when I'm away. Listener SimpliSafe Professional monitoring agents can now warn intruders that they are being recorded and police are on their way in real time. This stops them in their tracks with eyes on an intruder. Agents can confirm to 9-1-1 dispatchers that the emergency is real and request fast. Police dispatch Right now, I've had it. Listeners get a special 20 percent off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for fast protect monitoring this huge offers for a limited time only, so visit SimpliSafe.com/ had it that SimpliSafe.com/ had it. There's no safe like simply save. Perhaps you have been absolutely dominating in the kitchen lately. Your kids have all been telling me you have been crushing dinner. What's going on? HelloFresh it is the easiest, best food and you feel like you're like the world's best chef. Well, I would argue that not only are you a good podcaster, you are an amazing chef. Listener fall is right around the corner, and HelloFresh is here to help you plan for the busy season ahead with tasty dishes delivered right to your door. Simply choose your recipes and pick your delivery date and then lay back and enjoy the last days of summer knowing that dinner is covered. That's what Pops has been doing, listener. They have all types of variety. Anything that your family would like and all you need is 15 minutes and you'll be enjoying a tasty, satisfying meal made in your very own kitchen. Go to HelloFresh.com/ five zero. I've had it and use code five zero. I've had it for 50 percent off plus free shipping. Go to HelloFresh.com/ five zero. I've had it and use five zero. I've had it for 50 percent off plus free shipping. So now we have a guest with guests, two guests, two guests that are like basically antiques in the podcasting world. What are they? 20. And no, I mean, their podcast has been around for well over a decade. They have a long running podcast called Watch What Happens, which is like a take off on Watch What happens, right? And so they review all things Bravo before you tune out. We're not going to talk about Bravo with them because this is not a Bravo podcast. We're going to talk about what they've had it with, but they are fantastic. So let's welcome to. I've had it been. And Ronnie, OK, Ben and Ronnie, welcome to. I've had it a place of cupcakes, rainbows and positivity for this globe of ours. How are you guys? Good. I love it. So good. So a good, positive gay rainbow. I mean, let's eat it. I know you guys doing great. Love a gay rainbow as well. OK, so let's just I mean, let's just start talking immediately. What have you? What have you had it with Ronnie? You go first because I feel like you have something really good lined up. You know, I don't I mean, I've had it with most everything. I'm old enough to just be sick of everything. One thing I'm sick of is good people. I think like a real world, real world good people are OK who are actually out there doing like good for the world, that internet good people can suck it. Mike, I'm seriously sick of them. I have this new lady in my neighborhood who is constantly going on our tiny little Facebook community thing. You know, that's where you're like, Oh my god, I lost my peac**k. They said that. Really, that's true. There was a lost beat. I was out there looking for a peac**k. You're a good person because you were looking for a peac**k. I did have the word cog in it, which doesn't take much to beat a gay man out the door. Am I right or am I a record p before? But you got to raise an eyebrow. Anyway, we have this new lady in the neighborhood and this is just a tiny little Facebook. But she, I guess, needs attention or she needs us to be like, Oh my God, welcome to the neighborhood. You're such a good person. And she just keeps. OK. One of her thing is guys to help our pollinators fill a bowl with marbles and add water marbles. Give the bees a safe place to land so they can drink without drowning. So she shows a picture of marbles and bowls and happy bees. If the bee can't drink without drowning, the rate deserves to die. Right? It's our winning in this. Yes. Yes. Darwinism, you know what this is, is fo do gooder. It's Barack. This is all. This is all performative. This is all performative do gooder. Because I tell you what, that neighbor probably has some s**t going on behind that door and she's trying to mask. It was saving the pollinators, which I think is a total ruse. If I were you, I'd keep an extra eye on that house because I bet there's a lot of f**kery going on in there. She's probably just sending hate letters to celebrities and things. She's allowed to do it because you saved the bee, saved a bee and that like, literally gets you no awards ever like she's overcompensating. I think she's just saying, like, Love me, you. Don't save the bees. I'm drowning over here, guys. Does anybody like want to make a bowl of marbles? For me, I'm literally and figuratively drowning someone. Another one is saving. One animal won't change the world, but for that one animal, the world will change forever. Now listen, I know for a fact that I want you know what I mean by campaigning for saving animals. Of course, she put the ugliest dog out there. I mean, she put in dog ears. It's got to be an 80 year old, wet, dirty, mangy dogs. He put up there and I was like, This lady's obviously not advertising to save this dog. She's just or she would put up Frenchie. You know, there are franchisees who need homes to. There are Jack Russells, the cute, adorable little dogs that need home, too. But this lady is like, Look at me, I would save an ugly sister like I wouldn't. Yeah, I think I think you've got to keep the neighborhood watch sign. Remember those with it, like the the guy with the Cape on In the Eyes. I think you have to keep an extra eye on the situation. I don't support being a nosy neighbor unless it's super juicy, right? Unless it's really something I want to know. Otherwise, I don't care who's using the pool after nine anything like that. I feel like it's all the old people too like it don't have anything to do and said they're just making sitting there, making comments about what's going on in the neighborhood. And it's like, b***h, we don't care, we don't care it. Everything's fine and nobody's getting, you know, burgled. We're good that we're supporting nosy neighbor neighboring. But what I do support is rear windowing because I tell you, I love creating a narrative about everything going on outside my window like I will. If there's something weird going on, I'm like, I'm the lady with the B. But she has like a pitchfork out in the backyard. I killed someone. Totally killed someone. She's a serial killer. The B is like the first clue and no one picking up on it. Like, I love doing that. I'm all down with that. I'm totally down with that. We had a neighbor at my old house, and he was this older man that lived across the street from us. And one day the police come to my door and they're like, We have to talk to you about something. I'm like, What is it? And they're like, Well, you're your neighbor. Across the street ridge has accused Josh. Josh is my husband. Rich has accused Josh of breaking into his house and rearranging the furniture. We don't. We don't think this has happened, but Rich has mentioned to us that he has a gun. We live in Oklahoma. Everybody's f**king got guns. And so we just wanted to make sure, like, have you all had an altercation with him? And I'm like, No. But he accused one of my friends once of stealing his gnome. He had a no mountainous front yard. Oh, I remember. Yes. Nobody wants your gnome. Yes. And so like. He totally had this whole kind of fantasy world going on. And here's the deal Josh is totally metrosexual. I could even make a strong argument that Josh could possibly be homosexual. He just is not that gay that would break in to rearrange somebody's furniture that would feel like you would do it. I know. I mean, I think I only know you from the TV, but that sounds reasonable family to me. I don't mean my God. Sounds just like you actually also stealing them because it's bringing down the property values in the neighborhood. Someone needs to tell Rick nobody wants his no right. So it sounds like you just crack the case. Maybe I was the culprit all along. You all along. Josh, out of the best poor baby. No. But I mean, it was I mean, it was totally nuts. That street was was kind of crazy. I got the hell are there like almost always terrible. Yeah. Now they're bad. OK, one of you put down in our correspondents prior to having you on this whole concept that I immediately fell in love with and did a lot of research on which is the name of men's deodorant sense. Yes, that was me. OK. I feel like, am I on a game show? I feel like I was right, but I have taken the liberty of Googling some of the best sets. And what we're going to do is I'm going to name these and I want every to go round and we're going to describe what type of man we think uses this. So I'm going to start off and then let's just free mullet and go through. Let's have some fun here. OK. Okay. The first set is Man of Steel. Hmm. Fat is definitely a chubby man. Nobody, nobody muscular. It means to have steel under their right. And I think a little penis because they probably are overcompensating. I'm going teeny weeny as well. Teeny weeny teeny weeny brawler because Superman is fit for me and definitely has that. Like, he's evil Superman too, you know? Right, right? Bipolar, bipolar, small dick, comic con. Obviously, someone going to Comic-Con where you Anacostia. But let's be honest. Costume for sure. Here's our next set, fellas. It's speed stick. I'm going to stay right out of the gates. I think this is a quick shot. I was going to. That's what I was going to say. What we call great minds pops. Great. Great. What we call a quick shot here at I've had it guys is a man that shoots as wide, a little too fast. A quick shot, Todd. I wish I could tell you that. That's like my dream. I'm like, the slowest. Look, can we just wait a minute? Please use space out of it. Make this happen more quickly, guys. Speed stick. I'm going to say Speed Stick doesn't have small dick energy. He doesn't have large dick energy. I'm going to say this is like a sport dick, you know, a Goldilocks sized dick shower. Not a grower. Literal, just energy. Yeah, not big dick or a little big sport dick. You know, and I think it's a sport dick. I think that he does shoot pretty quickly. I think we got a quick shot on our hands, and I think this is a guy that spends a lot of time in the gym doing cardio. Not like it, you know, like muscle like beefy bodybuilder. But I think this is a cardio freak, a runner. Does he do triathlons? Yes. So speedsters, just like that, triathlon energy speed stick is a triathlete. Watch? What's that bicyclist name? Lance Armstrong Yeah. Oh my God. You know, the thing is the triathletes, they're always talking about going off to do a triathlon. Have you ever noticed that you want to have dinner? Sorry, I've got a triathlon on. How many triathlons are there? You don't want to train all the time. I feel like they're the worst in the gay pride parade because, like, it's not good enough being gay. It's not good enough being bi. They have to have like a try. It's like, Wow, you guys are the gayest athletes. I'll tell you this. This idea, you know, my kids are starting to age out of me using them for excuses to get out of going to stuff. I think I'm going to take up triathlons and I can just tell people they can ask me, Do you want to go to dinner? Do you want to go to a movie? And because, oh, I'm sorry, I'm training for a triathlon, right? But then there'd be that one for you in a party that was in the triathlon that would try to like, pigeonhole you and want to talk about it nonstop. You'd either be discovered at. Yeah, because runners and vegans, right? They want to talk about it all the time, right? All that's going to tell you about it. Yeah. OK, the next segment, which is one of my favorites, is smell like a man. Oh, the worst. I must say right out of the gates. Fox News male anchors smell like a man for sure. Like Sean Hannity, like Greg Gutfeld. What about really all of them? There's a Twitter person that's called like man alpha male. Oh, that's a scent. It's alpha male is an alpha male is a scent. Oh, perfect. Are they naming these? This because they're. Marketing to people like Ted Cruz and what's that guy's name from Missouri? Josh Hawley Oh, the word. It was such a to remember when like he's like should give up the Capitol. Yeah, right? Yeah. He gave like the white power fist pump, and then he starts like hiding. And then the committee just humiliated him with all this. He has no shame. Is there a deodorant stand for insurrection? I'm just wondering. Maybe we should start that? Okay, here's one. It's called sweat, lis strength. Scott Atlas strength. There is no such thing. Listen, you can try and botox the sweat out of you. It'll start coming out of different places, right? Yeah, you're just going to be crazily sweating strings. You know what I realized when researching this is what a minefield it is to market to men and particularly like, probably like Middle America men because they have to address like something that is socially feminine, not sweating. But so men are not when you sweat, but they also have to like bow down to their masculine egos. So you get alpha male and you get manly musk and you get manly freshness and then you get that smell like a man. You know, it's really a precarious naming struggle to try to suggest men to buy a product that really isn't that manly. I know, and it's also like embarrassing that they have to be so on the nose with us, right? You know, they have to be so much like you're a strong man, armpits and you're like, I'm a strong man like that. We actually fall for it. But what drives me nuts is, you know, when I'm going this door and I want to get deodorant, this is fine. Everything's name like cool rash or extreme blast or Arctic freeze, but like, what does that smell like? I don't know what this smells like exactly under my arms. OK, right? What does that smell? Okay, here's one Big Mac. Here's one. Here's one that I think this would be very marketable to the gay community. Total freshness, but that's it. We need a simple and explanatory jazz hands. Total freshness. Total freshness. Total fresh. Eleven o'clock. No, I would do that until 11:00 o'clock. No, I mean, I think a gay man would be like, you know, looking and they'd be like, mainly Musk, you know, alpha male and total freshness. That's it. I'm out. It's true. I think that there are some that are named for single guys who are out shopping for themselves of the target that need the like white power fist or whatever you were saying before the Josh Hawley scent. Yes. Yes. And then there are kinds that are marketed to wives whose husbands no longer buy their own deodorant. Right? Like, to me, it seems backwards, but I know that that's still like a thing in the world. I see it at Target, right? So I think that there are those scents, too, and they're all like candle scent. It's like sandalwood and leather. It's like your wife. It's like, Oh my god. Fresh parchment paper. OK, well, I came up with this. 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I've noticed surely even that brought on a lot longer because it is not uncomfortable. No, I love my honey love because they're so comfortable. I hardly know I have them on, and I love the shapewear too. It is so nice and comfortable. Honey Love's bestseller crossover bra is so comfortable it's sure to be your new go to because this is perhaps go to people. And let me tell you she is very particular about her brassieres. Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20 percent off at Honey Love.com/. Had it, use our exclusive link to get 20 percent off Honey Love.com/ had it cinched, snatched and lifted its hot girl season thanks to Honey Love Pumps. You know I'm really concerned about your health, and I have recently come across some alarming information from the World Health Organization that states consuming diet sweeteners can increase blood clot formations, which in turn can increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes. And so you know that iced tea that you drink with all that artificial sweetener is no longer allowed in the recording studio because I've replaced it with hint water. I hate to tell you you're right, because I really do like the hemp water. It's kind of the perfect little solution to my tea addiction. I know, and you're drinking a lot less tea with sweetener now, correct? Correct. Because the water really does the trick. Don't say I never did anything nice for you. Listener, you can find him water at retail stores like Walmart, Target and Kroger, or have it delivered to your front door from Hint Water dot com. New customers can get hemp for just a dollar a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Just use the code had it at checkout. Okay, guys, it's time to play our just fantastic game called had it or hit it. OK, so I'm going to listen things you tell us if you've had it with it or if you like it so much, you'd hit it. Oh my god. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it hard at it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right. Had it or hit it. Brad Pitt. Had it hit it, I know it's Brad Pitt. Yeah. Even though he's got all that controversy about building like affordable housing that was like built with like glue, guns and cardboard and like crashed in on everyone's head, I'd still do it. Yeah, I'm still hitting it. I'm still hitting it. I'm sorry the way he he probably doesn't even wear deodorant, which I'm morally opposed to, but it's Brad Pitt, so hit it right, even if he smells bad. Yeah, and I agree he has aged incredibly well. He's 59 years old, you guys. How do you know why? Yes, he was. He's he's like, gorgeous. It's not like he's someone who is ugly. That's aging. Well, right? He was gorgeous. Gorgeous. He's still gorgeous. He is. He is so hot. And, you know, talking to him, he's probably incredibly insufferable. Like, it's probably going to be one of the most insufferable conversations that you have. And he still can be hot, which is the level of hotness that is kind of remarkable. I mean, like a higher elite level of hot. It's generational hotness. You know where he was born? Feliz, Oklahoma, Oklahoma. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I thought I'd hit it. I hit Oklahoma. OK, had it or hit it birthday months. Oh, had it had it had it? I've had it with birthday weeks. I've had it. I've almost had it with birthdays. Yeah, I've kind of over it. Two Yeah. Yeah, had a big time. Had it on that one. Yes, well over celebrate. And it's like, b***h, everybody has birthday. Like, you're not so special just because today you're so is half the world. Exactly. My my birthday is coming up birthday month and my birthday trip. And let me tell you, the people whose birthday has been the biggest pain in the a*s about their birthdays over the year, we have to go take a trip every single year, right? Every none of them are going to come to my thing. I'll say, Oh, screw you guys, screw your birthday month, right? That's s**tty. They're not reciprocating after they've had you go on all these trips for theirs. Yeah, that's bulls**t. I oppose. I opposed my birthday minus birthdays, all of those things. But next year I will turn the big five zero. And I definitely want to have a very small trip. Even though I totally oppose birthday trips, I'm going to be totally hypocritical, but only very small. Me, my kids, perhaps her kids, if they're all behaving, the kids could get axed off the list with the product immediately prouder for our kids. Now they sure like you better do. Some practice runs for the airport to be like, OK, everyone. My s**t got 30 seconds. My s**t is so tight at the airport. I am a f**king stealth fighter. I go in. I f**king do that s**t effortlessly. My license is out. I get f**king five gold stars. Take it to the bank. I am f**king excellent at traveling girl. People, are you? I say I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have to say I saw something that you posted traveling where you were mad that somebody had their suitcase next to them on the the escalator thing going. Oh yeah, you're mad that they didn't put the suitcase in front of you. I'm not surprised that you want a social right. I saw that she's still see what hate me. This lady is going to hate. It's it's chaos on the escalator. I'm so glad you brought this up because I haven't brought it up in about 20 episodes, and now it's time to f**king drag out that dead horse and beat it. Let me tell you what's going on on the escalators in the United States of America. Everybody's just laid out on the escalators that they're standing there. They have their bag next to them. They've got their Stanley Cup, they're on their phone thumbing through f**kin just horrible Instagram posts of somebody f**king kid that nobody gives a f**k about. And I've got places to go. I've got a heart rate to keep up. And then I hit this g*****n brick wall and I'm like, You have to move over to one side so that people can pa*s. So the United States of America, we do a lot of things right. But the escalator situation is out of control. And do you follow the Ben Mandelker patented method of escalator battery, which is that I when I see this happening, I do the big clump comp with my feet like thump, thump, thump, thump, which is like, you've got five seconds now, take you away because I'm clumping, OK? And then if they still don't move, sometimes I just let out a good old, excuse me, works like a charm. Let me tell you what I've started to do. This is what they do in the UK. They don't f**k around with this passing on your left, and I just start saying it, passing on your left, passing. I'm like, you know, the flat, as you know, the flat escalators, you know, that is completely unacceptable and you have different those flat escalators. OK, the regular escalators, as a bigger person, as someone who struggles with their weight when you're walking through an airport is difficult sometimes. OK, so I see that escalator and I immediately see lean machine. I go onto it and I lean on to it. I sweat onto it, I breathe on to everybody. I'm like, Oh yeah, but the walking escalator is, you don't just stand there on a walking. You know your a*s. You got to go. And if you're a slow walker, walk on the right side, that's psychotic. Fast Walker, such as myself, can pass you on the left. We can all live peacefully in an airport together. If you're on that escalator, you got to move over, put your suitcase in front of you, be ready to be passed on the left. It's out of control and start to paint lanes. They've started to paint lanes on some of them I've noticed. Some say like yes, some say standing, some say walking, which means that the infraction is even worse because now they're literally told where they can stand and not stand. And let me tell you something the club can't method on on a moving walkway is as fabulous because you have all that space, the club, you're not going to adopt that. Yeah, that's all black, you know, it's great. Like you sound like you're just like a bolt, like an Indiana Jones. It's coming. I'm taking you under. If you don't mind, I'm going to start doing. Actually, it's going to fly again. OK, had it or hit it toddlers. Oh, had it had it now, never not going to say it hit a toddler. I feel like that's a trick question. Honestly, I was just in, so I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday and I was in the cookbook section, and for some reason there were like 15 children running around and the cookbook section. And I was like, Why are there children running around and the cookbook section? And my friend who with me says, Oh, because the the children's section is like the next one over, but I was like, But still, why aren't there just all over? And my friend looked at me and said, Ben, you really think children are racc**ns, don't you? Yes, I do. That's so good. OK. Had it or hid it. Word art. Oh God, you know what? They've gotten so creative with it that I'm almost about to hit it. Really. I follow along. You know, we came out with the thing that's in the gather font, but it says isolate because we've been over this for years. You know, it's like the home goods thing. I'm getting more into it now. I'm just starting to see it as. Being hilarious that people are so stupid, they don't know where their kitchen is. You literally have to have a sign that says kitchen or like a bathroom that says you're in there, you're holding your wiener and you're paying into their toilet and it says bathroom, right? Or there's no place like home or home is where the heart is. I had it just like hard Harris. There's a lot that just just declare Paris like Paris, which is terrible. That's Parisian abuse, you know, because you know, the apartment that has that in it is not is neither Parisian nor chic. And so, I mean, I think that's a disgrace to Paris. I want honest word art, though. Agree. I agree. My husband's a lazy f**k, you know, like a like a yeah, a cooking apron that says that or it like, you know, the dead, don't do coke or my bathroom has been a funny way. Oh, that's a great. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. Or like, my children are too ugly to be on the back of this car. People for the little stick figures, that's OK. Had it or hid it. Citizen scientists Oh my god, it's just inside us. Is that that's like an oxymoron right there, right? No, I'm not. I don't want my citizen science, OK? Not, not whatsoever. That's the lady with the marbles in the bowl. In the water. Exactly. Shut up. All right. No one, no one asked you. You know, we're like everybody. Be careful. The movie is six today, and I don't care. I gotcha. Yeah. Congrats on getting polio again. So I had a like back when Facebook was was still kind of cool, but not really. I was on Facebook and like a friend that I I don't even know if I remember the guy from high school, but somebody graduate from high school with makes a Facebook post to an article like some scientist was like, we found, you know, some bones in the Earth that are 300 million years old. So this guy re Facebooks are like, post the article and then he puts. As far as I'm concerned, the Earth is 6000 years old. Science has its theories, and I got my oh well, I was right. Yes, I mean, everyone gets a theory and I was immediately just like, What a false equivalency. Right? For you to think that your f**king theory holds up to these people that are really f**king smart, like nerdy, geeky, total smart people that have gone to school forever and like, read about carbon dating for fun. And you think that your f**king Facebook post is somehow on the same playing field as this Harvard graduate obviously unfriended him, which now I kind of regret because it could be fun to go back and look and have material for the PI you have. You have to. I so I like literally last week just to discover that one of my friends is now a flat earth or and yes, like she put up a post that said, literally like you guys, the earth is flat. Like she was a very blatant flat earther. And she has this whole thing about the firmament that everything we see like the firmament, I guess, is the thing that is on top of the flat earth where a disk or whatever. And I'm fascinated because I never thought I would know a real life planet Earth or, yeah, I didn't think. And I really, yeah. And I think that I should like my instincts that, oh, you should unfriend this person on principle. But I was like, No, the comedy is just, you have to stay. And I made the greatest error like questions like, So what tell me about the disk? I know, I know. But sometimes you can't engage with crazy. You just have to watch it from a distance. That's probably. I mean, few posts that bear. Yeah. OK. And final. How did her hit it? Housewives? Oh, HitTail ones are like Real Housewives or Bravo. Bravo Housewives. Oh yeah, we love them. Yeah, that that that will never get. I'll listen. Crazy people will never cease being hilarious. I don't care. This could be in the biblical times. Or we could be 2000 years in the future. That will always be funny. I don't care. Yes. Timeless. Yes. OK, here's your favorite housewife. Or can you say like if all time of all the seasons, my all time favorite is Countess Luann de Lesseps because I love her. She she has been on a journey from being like a hoity toity countess who would like who literally wrote a book about manners and etiquette to then getting arrested in Florida. And actually, she managed to like, get out of handcuffs. She houdini her handcuffs with her. That alone is kind of like puts you top tier. And then she started a cabaret career and then the middle of this year, she had sex with a pirate. I mean, she's really f**king done it all. I love that. I would say I have a tie between Lisa Vanderpump and any leaks. Nini Leakes has the most like, goofball, most hilarious moments, but she kind of crashed and burned towards the end, but loved her forever. And then Lisa Vanderpump for just normalizing like holding swans in your testimony like a swan. She has these swans that would bite Kyle Richards ankles, you know, things like that that are just like her pet magic. Yeah, that's magic. I love it. I absolutely love it. Well, you guys, it has been so much fun. We absolutely love you guys. We definitely want to have you guys back on in the future. And Kylie will put how to follow these guys and go listen to their podcast. Watch what happens down in the notes of our episode. We love you guys so much for having us. It was so fun. So fun. Sail on a number of things that is going to be so much fun, for sure. OK, bye, guys. Thank you both so much. Bye bye. Podcasting for 20 years, man, I told you their podcast was an antique. That is crazy. And we're like, We're the new shiny little penny. Yeah, and they're just the old guard they're just laughing about would ever have that kind of longevity. This week, probably dive at 20 20 years. I mean, 80s. Are you've heard for sure? Die. Maybe 10 20. Soak it all up now. Well, listener, we cannot thank you enough for joining us, joining our fantastic guests. Kylie will put how to find them down in the show notes. And I mean, I think that's all we got. Everybody, please send us a voice memo to the I've Had It podcast Instagram to be featured on one of our bonus episodes, or it could be played on one of our live shows at the hot s**t, too. Or please go to our Link Tree and any of our social media bios and buy tickets to a city near you. We are going to do a global tour, right pops. That's right. Global Buy Canada, we're coming for you. See you next Tuesday or Thursday by. Without the fans, there is none of this Wednesday August night. I'm so honored to be here. America's biggest superfans meet their superstar idols and compete for a once in a lifetime prize. And would take them to my new records, all my soul. You can pick a song and we can sing it together on stage and the title of Ultimate Superfan, it is up to you, America. Super fan premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS and streaming on Paramount Plus super fan.
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