Strictly Stalking

Transcript

The world needs more Santas. This Christmas, Coca Cola will help people discover their inner Santa through little acts of kindness. Give up your seat. Hold a door for someone. Share your Coca Cola 0 Sugar. Discover your inner Santa this Christmas. Coca Cola, real magic. I could be Santa Claus. Hey. Our good friend Clay Aiken is back in the studio. Always great to catch up with my friend. And playmate of the year and Baywatch alumni. Brandy Roderick is gonna join us as well. Mayhem's got the news and we'll do all that right after this. I love reality TV on Pluto TV. Same. And I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives Vault channel. I'm totally free to watch Bad Girls Club. I'm free for Jersey Shore. Love and hip hop? I'm free all day. Survivor? I'm free all night. With hundreds of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto TV. Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. Hey, fans of freedom and open discussion. I'm heading over to substack, and there's an ad free audio and video version of the Adam Carolla show that's gonna be waiting there. In the near future, you'll even be able to watch ACS live unedited as we record it, participate in the show via live chat. That'll be coming up very soon. You'll also get an ad free version of the Adam Carolla and doctor Drew show. You'll also get an exclusive to my new podcast, Beat It Out, where I share unpolished ideas with my comedian buddies. The first series of episodes is gonna be J Moore. You'll get all this and more for the low, low price of $9 a month, a pittance for all we're going to bring you. Subscribe now at adamcarolla.com/ substack, and I'll see all of you in our new Speakeasy called substack. From Carolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Klay Aiken, and model actress, Brandi Roderick. Plus the news and trending topics with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now he likes masturbation, like Memphis likes barbecue, dry rub, Adam Carolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got to get on the trip. We're gonna meditate. Get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling my friend. Love that about you. Mayhem Miller sitting in. Clay Aiken back in the studio. Always good to see Clay. Good to be here. Especially whenever there's a masturbation joke, I always pitch right at home. Oh, you're here. You're in it. Don't think of it from your mouth to god's ears. Christmas Bells are Ringin' is the name of the album. It's available right now wherever you find finer music and even mediocre music. It's all there. Clay's got a beautiful voice. That's the category it's in, actually. I think. No way. Jesus. Not a Clay Aiken. Lots of standards, lots of good stuff, lots of how you know, here's the thing about the holidays for me. Whether it's the songs or the food, I like the old school. I don't want raisins in everything. I don't want poached salmon. Fine. Just not now. I don't want the new take on everything. I for for this one couple of days out of the year, let's just kick it old school. What would you do if I told you that everything was brand new and remade? It would be it'd be sort of uncomfortable in here right now, wouldn't it? Maybe. Well, it's all it's the standard. It's the stuff you grew up with, the stuff you know. And it's all done that way. That's what we did on purpose. I mean, I I think Christmas is about familiarity. You know? Being with people who you know, who you love, and and nostalgia. And so everything on this album is something somebody knows, and we produced it sort of like a sixties fifties sixties seventies old Perry Como, Andy Williams, carpenters sort of Christmas album. That was the goal. Are you doing lots of dates these days? I have not done any, actually. And well, I went out on the road with Ruben Studdard last year for our 20th anniversary from Idol. Oh my god. Yeah. But, I have not done anything by myself since actually, I haven't toured by myself since you and I did that lovely show together. I stopped doing it and went into that whole political nonsense, and so I'm gonna tour with this. Yeah. I'm gonna tour with this next year. Yeah. So we did Celebrity Apprentice. I don't know enough about American Idol to know if you got jobbed or not on American Idol, but you did get jobbed in Celebrity Apprentice in that you were the most effective person that was there. But Which which was which was a low bar, Adam. Well, it was it was look. Okay. Here here's the thing. I got many thoughts. But one is is it's hard to quantify singing. It's really hard. Some people are really good at it, but it's still hard to say what you prefer over what someone else prefers. But when we did the final task for for Celebrity Apprentice, you amassed more points than Arsenio Hall did. So that's quantifiable, and that's kinda the part that's confusing to me. It's like, alright. Comes down to you 2, Arsenio and you, and now it's the final task, and you end up with 839, and he has 424. And I'm like, alright. Well, you scored higher on the final task, so now you win, but you didn't. But I also didn't have my own talk show coming out in a few weeks for for our for our boss to be able to take credit for. Right? Not an Arsenio issue. Good for him. He's got a show, but, you know, I think I think the our boss on that show wanted to be able to take credit for the successes of anyone in the future, and I didn't have anything to take credit for. So Trump wanted credit for Arsenio who was coming back to late night back then? I think Takes a lot of mental yoga to get there, but, yeah, you know, it worked for him. Yeah. Yeah. I I mean, look. You're I was on Arsenio's team, but, you were clearly a standout in that show. And, other you can't really fake that show because it's hard work. Like, I didn't see it. What was the excuse that they used to give him the don't need Knicks. Don't you realize excuse. Reality TV is not real? No. Oh. Yeah. I don't know how they how much politics or how much whatever, you know, what what do they think? I don't know. Whatever it is, you were better than Arsenio even though I was on Arsenio's team. Well, I appreciate that. But you know what? I've gotten so used to losing things now. I don't even Oh. Yeah. Good for you. I'm a professional I'm a professional loser. I remember my dad pulled me aside when I was young. He said, son, just get used to losing. It works for me. America's number 1, number 2. That's what I said. That's right. Treated like number 2 all over the country. But Clay had his claymates. I remember us going out, doing tasks, being in the bus, and the claymates out there jumping up and down, shouting your name. And they worked for us too. They got the they got those folks into those, into that party we had to throw. Yes. Yeah. They were very and they're still around. They're still around. We're we're hoping there are more of them. This is the first album I've done in 15 years. So, I need them to learn how to stream because last time I did an album, there was no streaming. People are out buying CDs. Right? They were buying CDs, or you would you would buy the 99¢ thing from from iTunes. You could download a song at a time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There were no there was no streaming. None of that. For you, singing, was that it it seems like a gift you realize pretty early, but I'm I mean, it's if you talk to any comedian who does impressions, they will tell you when they were 7. They were doing their homeroom teacher and whoever they saw on TV or whatever it is. Singing feels early I think it's I think it's probably just that I would sing. I liked it. So when I was young, I wanted to. Whether I was in I don't think at 6, you're any good at it necessarily. You just like it. Nobody knows they're gonna make a living doing anything, impressions or singing. They just find themselves doing it. Right. Right. So that that what was like for you growing up? Pretty much. And I I wanted to do it. I think my mom thought I was good, so she pushed me to do it more. And I had teachers who wanted me to, but I didn't have any plans to do it for a career. I mean, I guess I did a little bit because when I was early in high school, I thought, oh, I'm gonna be a singer so I can flunk everything. It doesn't matter. And I did. I flunked it all, but I then realized I'm not it's not in me to wanna push hard to knock on doors and become a please make my album for me or please listen to me sing it. I didn't have that, so I never would have done this had it not been for Idol and the fact that I was able to walk in, make do my audition, and then everything happened for me. I didn't have to I didn't have to work very hard for it, which is nice, but, it's kind of a testament to your talent. Like, you have a lot of natural self help. Let's go with that. Let's go with that. It seems like it. Right? Because you're like a standout on that show super early on where everybody kinda got behind you. You know, song selection and as I remember, you know Sure. I also think I just looked weird. So they were and they did that whole makeover on me. And so it's shocking that I came in looking this weird and left only looking slightly less weird. And so they I think that brought some of the, boy next door type of thing to it. I mean, I always thought that everybody who was on the show with me was just as good. I was scared every single week. So I don't I still like like you were saying, Adam. You tar you can't quantify it. It's subjective. You like what you like. I thought I did fine, but I might have voted for somebody besides myself. I don't know. What's your favorite Christmas song to sing? Oh, gosh. Well, I'm gonna say Merry Christmas, Darling because it's on this album, and it is my favorite song from this album. I love the Carpenters growing up. I'm sure that you love the Carpenters, don't you, Adam? Probably not. Well, the car no. The Carpenters okay. Let's let's, let's see if we can let's bring the wheat from the chaff here for a second. There's certain things in our society because I was a carpenter, ironically, you know, construction site, played football, boxed and stuff. People think I'm like mister blue collar, you know, macho man, you know, but the reality is is You're wearing a skirt underneath the table right now. That's right. The the you know, there was a book. There's a famous book and from the seventies called Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. It was a national bestseller. It was a huge book back when books could kinda become phenomenons like TV shows. There we weren't swamped and inundated, and we didn't have thousands of titles to choose from. It was a big book. You can look it up, Joe. It was called Real Men Don't Eat Quiche, and it, like, kinda caught on. Like, yeah. Real men don't eat quiche. Well, I'm like, eggs and bacon and cheese and a and a pie crust. I f**king love pie. I love eggs. I love bacon and ham and cheese. Who who says this? You know? And and they'd go, come on. And I'd like and maybe I would order quiche, and people go, hey, mister rough and double. I'd go, I like quiche. But still, it's the name. It's the name. Somebody decided something like real dudes didn't like the carpenters. You know, Karen Carpenter had the voice of an angel, an angel. Amazing. This stuff her brother arranged this stuff amazingly. This stuff was melodic and beautiful and so well put together. She did not eat quiche. And Abba. She didn't eat anything. That's right. And Abba was like Abba's Abba and the carpenters are people those are the groups we had to pretend we didn't like to get a little street cred for a while, but the reality is is everyone's come around, and they like them both. How many million what year was only men need keys and, like, how many units did it sell? But the point is is I boxed. I did swung a hammer. I rode a motorcycle, but I was not down with all the here's what you gotta like, and here's what you don't. And you did it all while listening to Karen Carpenter sing apparently? I loved her I loved her pop stuff. And again, yeah, when you're 23, you're probably not bragging about how much you love the Carpenters, but that scene in Tommy Boy. Right? Remember the movie Tommy Boy where they're going down this going down the road and they're trying to pick what they would listen to on the radio, and all of a sudden it comes on long ago. Mhmm. And, oh, well, you can change it if you want to. And then in the next scene, they smash cut to both of them. Don't you remember you told me? Remember you told me? Everybody loved that. Everybody loved that. The book was on the New York Times bestseller list for 55 weeks Damn. Oh, crap. In 1982. It is a popular that's a popular book to be over a year. Wait a minute. Yeah. No. Sorry. 55 is 50 yeah. There's 52 weeks in here. You got it. Sorry. Took a sec. Real men don't do math. Now but speaking of that, it's been brought before because you said you ran into Lou Ferrigno, who was on our season of Celebrity Apprentice. Alright. So if you would have said to me, and this'll circle back to our sort of appearances versus reality, Said, alright. You're going in celebrity apprentice. Who do you want on your team? You want the Incredible Hulk, or you want the gay guy from American Idol? I would go, I'm taking the Hulk, man. I grew up watching that dude. You know how much that guy can squat? Lou turned out to be soft. Yeah. Soft. Big fella, but soft. And Clay turned out to be tough. And so who can tell by the cover that has quiche on it? Right? You know what I mean? I I had a quiche cover. I just Calais has a quiche cover, but Lou has a quiche inner filling, and he's gotta crack the crust. He was soft. He was like a soft guy. He complained a lot. He was kind of a whiner. He wasn't really a team guy, and Clay was just balls to the wall, get it done, crack the whip, expect more from yourself than others. And I just said, this guy's a winner. Well and you were wrong. But second I was wrong. But second place. So if now let's get back to the creative ability, the gift, which is that thing, your voice. Okay. You know, for me, it was a sense of humor, but sort of like you lacking the intention to sort of push it out. Like, hey, everyone listen to me. Give me that mic. You know? Like, sort of hanging back on, don't bother the people with your words or with your song or whatever it is. You had that? You grew up that way? Well, either that or I grew up lazy, and I just didn't wanna have to do the work for it. I think a little of both. I don't I don't feel like singing is something I worked for. You know what I mean? I I appreciate that I can do it. I'm I'm grateful that it's provided a living for me, but, you know, I folks who are athletic and have a great talent at any sort of sport, all the Olympians, they've really practiced that. They've worked for that. They've they've put in the time. And for me, I maybe I have survivor's guilt a little bit of the fact that, yeah, I I I got lucky. I was able to sing when I started trying to sing. Came from maybe genetics. I don't know how it got there, but I think probably a little bit of that. I know I remember when I was in high school, I would I've and probably still today, I won't sing around people. In New York, in the apartment, I don't sing because I'm afraid the neighbors might hear it, and they didn't pay for a ticket. No. And they and I feel like I'm do I do I sound like I'm showing off? I don't even when when I sing happy birthday to people, happy birthday to you. I sing it kind of bad. Generic. Well, maybe with everyone else. Alright. This is an interesting story, but maybe it's good old fashioned low self esteem. Could be. Well, now you tell me if this is a low self esteem move or you can identify with this. I hadn't thought about this in a 1000000 years. But 1000000 years ago, I had to have wrist surgery on my my left hand, which which well, you can see my fingers bent, but you can see my wrist sort of caved in here. Lots of issues from boxing and carpentry. And and I had I had wrist surgery right right around 24, 25 years ago. Okay. So when I had this wrist surgery, they gave me a splint. At first, it was like in a cast or something, and then and then they they gave me this splint with the thing, neoprene, and the 2 pieces of Velcro, and it was this brace. It had a, like, sort of flat metal in it to protect my wrist. And I wore it. You know? I was always kinda fast and loose with the wear the splint or wear the brace or whatever. I'd do it for the 1st day or 2, and then I was like, I feel fine. I don't f**king wear the brace, but I I had the brace on. I had surgery in my left hand. And then I had committed to the Kobe Bryant celebrity charity bowl off at at the Studio City Kirkwood Bowling or wherever it was. God, somebody can look it up, but I'm gonna say mid 90 no. No. No. I'm I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna go, like like like, I don't know, November 99 or somewhere October 99 or something. It's a celebrity bowl Kobe Bryant had something had a celebrity bowl off in the nineties? 99, I would Shows how much I know sports. I didn't think he was around to the o's. I don't know. He got more famous than those. Okay. He probably hit the league in the well, it's a good what year was it? Anyway, so I show up, and I'm left handed. Mhmm. I'm gonna bowl left hand. And that's the hurt hand. And that's a hand with the brace. But the brace looked like a bowling brace. Exactly. It looked like I showed up with my bowling brace on. Where did it go? Yes. And I thought I was like, pro bowler dude is what I was yeah. Rookie year 96. Oh. So his celebrity bowling tournament, 99. I'm not that good at bowling, number 1. But number 2, it was a celebrity thing charity thing. I don't think people showed up with their own equipment looking real serious. Right? So even though my wrist was f**ked up and I probably shouldn't have been bowling, I took the brace off to bowl with because I didn't want people I wouldn't have be explained to everyone. I'm not taking bowling that seriously that I brought my own bowl Especially this race. Suck. Right? Because if you look like you showed up Yes. Yes. Really prepared and you're bad, that's pretty Right. When you bowl at 89 and you show up with a wrist brace, you look like a colossal douchebag. Right? So even though I was at risk of damaging my own surgery, I took the brace off. I would have done the same thing. Good low self esteem. I don't think it's low I don't think that's low self well, is it? Maybe it is a little bit. I've always had the same thought that I would look stupid if I looked like I showed up prepared and and I sucked at it. Not well, I I didn't necessarily suck at bowling. I was just not I wouldn't I wouldn't have an 89. An 89, I would say so. I was I was using loperbole. Okay. Should. That should be a thing. Yeah. Low perbole. It is now. When you go low to exaggerate. No. I didn't bowl an 89. I pulled, like, a 140. You know what I mean? Or something. But nothing nothing that would accommodate or or rationalize a wrist brace. Or having your own Having the same ball or Yes. Any yeah. Dude, I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I I'm going to celebrity bowling. I'm wearing the outfit. I'm getting a bowling ball. Are you any good? Inside. Hell no. I'll be throwing that. I'll be Oh, no. We don't everyone would be laughing at you. No. Who can't I I don't care if you have the laugh. Look at my wrist. This is the interesting thing. When you talk to people who have high or normal self esteem, they go at a risk a wrist injury. I was told to wear this brace. I don't care what you think. Fair. Yeah. I have a I have a wrist issue, and that'll be that'll be your issue. I don't care. You know, Dawson, that's what you would say. Right? Yeah. I'm sorry. I was messing with Mayhem's mic. I checked out one second. Would you wear the, would you wear the wrist brace? No. I'd feel like I I feel exactly like like you would. Oh, man. Okay. Yeah. You're missing an opportunity to cosplay as a pro bowler. Yeah. You're talking to a guy who plays golf barefoot. Nice. I don't I don't wanna look like I have the right equipment. Oh, so intentionally, you want to look like you don't know what you're doing, and then you're just hustling them. I don't know. It'd be an interesting thing to to get a survey going. Like, now listen. I got wrist surgery. I'm not supposed to be bowling, but I'm certainly not supposed to be bowling without a brace. I'm sorry. I'm gonna take this back. I would be really more concerned about my hand than about other people's feelings. Right. That's what I'm saying. Something like that. I guess that is the definition. Definitely wear it. That that's what I'm saying. Possibly put on long sleeves. Nice. I know, but you still see it poking through. But folks who have low self esteem just don't care what other people think. Right? They feel comfortable enough with themselves. So maybe No. Wait. That's the high self High self esteem. Sorry. Sorry. Mhmm. If they have if you have high self esteem, you don't care what other people are thinking and you not the fact that you even considered what will people think about this brace would be a low I go to the other side. I would have done it. So I just thought them to laugh. Yeah. Laugh. Go ahead and laugh. I'm gonna I'm gonna try my best, though. Yeah. But I but I don't have low self esteem when it comes to singing. No. Just everything else. Low low well, it's also it doesn't mean that you don't own the things you're good at. I I think people think like, oh, shucks. Oh, shucks. Like, I I go, no. I'm a really good carpenter. You should ask me if you're building something. I'll tell you how to build it. You know? Like, I I know how to do that. I own it. Like, I'm realistic. I just knew there was no way for me to explain to everybody in that bowling alley what I was doing with this wrist brace. In that scenario, I I would probably do the same thing. I think my issue with wanting to sing too much, I I have I see, especially in the last 20 years since I've been in this entertainment business or politics, both are about the same, So many people who talk themselves up and then just cannot live up to the, you know, the hype that they they build. Mhmm. You know, I just was just at a thing the other day in Hollywood full of a bunch of folks who are minglers and they're all talking big about what their next project is or what I'm working on to this, that whole kind of it. I hate that. And so doing anything, I never tell I never involve myself in those conversations because I don't want to say, well, this is what my next project is. And this is what I I just I find that disgusting all the it feels very braggadocious to me to hear people do that type of thing. And so I don't do it. And I feel like unless you've asked me to sing, then I don't need to sing around you, unless you I also don't go up to to people, like, I've gone to I've been plenty of award shows, and I'll see someone who I admire and really love. I won't go up and introduce myself to them because I feel like, well, if they wanted to meet me, then they would like, I don't wanna assume that you wanna meet me. Well, same as the blue bars from the new album. Uh-huh. See, you're asking on purpose. Right. But I don't I but you understand what I'm saying. I don't like to I don't like to share all my business like I'm bragging. Well yeah. But in this town You have to, don't you? Bud. Yeah. I suck at it. That's how I live here. You you have to Go schmooze. You have to have a little hype man as well as the talent. You know? That's why you hire them. Yeah. I guess. I'm I'm like you. I don't I don't have that. But it's an it's a it's an important component because there's lots of people who can sing and lots of people who can tell jokes and lots people who can bowl. In a certain point, you're gonna need somebody with a bullhorn in your corner. You're absolutely right. And that's maybe why I stepped away for so long. I will say. No. I like I listen. I like I like the low the mid to low self esteem. That's why I love doctor Gru so much. I think mid mid to low is a good place. Low is bad. It's good for society. And high is just nauseating. But I also part of what you're saying is there anything on the Internet to Kobe's 1999? We need to see a picture of him. 1999, the Kobe Bowl. There is a there's no pictures of you attending there, but there is a couple of him and Tyrese, him and Kirk Rambis. Tyrese. It was a thing. Kobe Bowl 1999. Does it say the month in it? Or, like, at the end of the whatever. But Kobe Bowl is what I what I want to. Yeah. Also sounds like some you might order if you're on the, low carb diet. Yeah. Yeah. Steakhouse. Yeah. You're trying to stay keto at the Japanese steakhouse. I have the Kobe bowl with the side of Tyrese sauce. You got Tyrese dipping? Kobe ball with the side to side. Put the Tyrese on the side. I don't like when they slop it all over the top. It gets gooey. Tyrese sounds like a good dipping sauce, doesn't it? Does. At the Kobe ball at the at the Japanese place? Yeah. So there's but there's also this part of it as well, which is you have to know that when people are talking up their bulls**t projects, how it sounds to people that have been around a little bit. You know? Like and I never get it. Like, you know, we all have that friend who's like a personal trainer at for but once every 3 years for the last 13 years, he's been explaining he's coming out of the country. And you're like, you you have to know what that sounds like to me. I know. You you know what I mean? Like, you've said that to me for 15. You have to know what that sounds like to me. You know? Not sitting next to a stranger at a Starbucks. And and I think for me But people are fine with it in this city. I know. But they're thinking oh, god. Give me a break. And I don't ever want do it themselves. I know. But do you want people you know what? Okay. It's a weird example, but, I mean, it's like anyone who's been dropped or or left by a lover or a girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever the case, and then they start talking they start that some point, someone goes, they've met somebody else. They're dating someone else, and then you go, god. That guy. Such a oh, I hate that guy's dick is so small. And it's like it just sounds sounds like sour. It sounds like sour grapes. A lot of it sounds weak. You know what I mean? If you say, good. I'm glad they've moved on. I wish them well. Then you sound like you've risen above it. You know? And when you start digging into the other person, then it just sounds like you're still hurt, and it's sour grapes. And whoever wants to come across that way. People who are comfortable with themselves don't tend to do that. Right? Yeah. I mean, I think going back to that this gathering I was in, Meryl Streep wouldn't walk in and tell everybody what her you know what I mean? Yeah. She happy and comfortable with where they are don't feel the need to do that. Yeah. So so I don't. Even though I might feel the need to, I don't do it specifically because I don't want people to think that I do. Tell me you don't bust in the door and go, don't you know who I am? No. No. Because I think to my I think to myself, what would Meryl Streep do? Nice. Now I think if I was really good at the piano and there was a Christmas party and there was a Steinway sitting there Oh. And I had a couple of drinks. I might sit down at it, but I would prefer to be asked to do it. Right. I would absolutely wanna be asked. And some but some people so my brother-in-law, he's my son's mom's brother, David Foster. He is one of those he's one of those sons? My son's mother is David Foster's sister. Oh, I still can't spell it. It's not that. We'll whose cousin will will draw you a map. Matthew Simone. Wait. Let's you're married. Right? No. No. You were married? I wasn't. Oh, but you adopted? Nope. You sure again. Oh my gosh. We're gonna have to do a whole sign in. It's an IVF. IVF. No. IVF, with a she was she was a she's one of my best friends. She was the executive producer for my 3rd and 4th albums, and she had no children, and I had no children. She wasn't married. I wasn't married, but we both wanted kids, and so we agreed. We decided to do it together. Oh, okay. And, and but her brother is David Foster. And he's and he's one of those folks who, when he sees a piano, he just jumps right to it. Now if you're David Foster, you can assume everybody does probably wanna hear you play piano because you're David Foster. You wrote all the songs that we all love. I guess maybe if I had won 15 Grammys, I would be perfectly happy to stand up and assume people wanted to hear me sing, but I haven't. Her older brother, I'm assuming. We're stuck on that. Yes. Her older brother. Uh-huh. Yeah. Because he's I mean, I know I'm doing the how old is your son? He's 16 now. Oh, it's been a minute. I'm still trying to do the math. But, yeah, David Foster's written all the stuff. Although David has a son younger than my son. Because he married from American. Cathy Chi. Another another runner-up. Yes. Another runner-up. My my son has an aunt that was a runner-up on American Idol and a dad. Silver Runner Club. Yeah. I get it. Silver yeah. That's fine. Yeah. David Foster's 75. Okay. Sorry. So we would want him to do it. I will I mean, he's yes. But my point is he he's like he what you were saying, the alternative. He expects so if I'm at a dinner party that he jumps up to the piano and he starts playing, You sing? I'm singing. Yeah. Whether I want to or not. I gotta tell you. I'm pretty mad that you have the same thing thus far. We I sang a little bit of superstar a minute ago. Remember when we were doing the voice? I did happy birthday too. Happy birthday. That was garbage. We, he he expected and his his argument is, you know, if you have it, you should share it. And I get that, but some people don't wanna be shared on. You know? Well, it's all about the quality of what you're sharing. And reading the rooms. But I'll figure it out. How about this? I know this might be stepping into some weird area. But you're from the South. Yep. Gay guy. Mhmm. Okay? Would your self esteem be through the freaking roof if you were raised in San Francisco? Could you ever think that in another planet, you were raised in San Francisco, and then you just be like, totally confident. You're in your own area. I see what you're saying. You get what I'm saying? What you're saying. I know this. I grew up in the south too, and anybody who was different was kinda pushed to the to the margins. And I I and something I think about a lot, and it's kinda it pushed me because I was a weird kid, so it pushed me into different areas myself. But, like, you know, I'm just saying Oh, I mean, I I totally understand what you're saying. I don't know that the gay in the south thing versus San Francisco would have made that much of a difference, only because that whole homophobia thing is more naturalized. Yeah. Yeah. So where you're from, and I know I know people who I know people who are are on Broadway right now dancing in a show on Broadway who are not out. And you think if there's a place you can be out, it's as a dancer on Broadway. So it's always a personal thing, and you don't know what's going on through I mean, certainly, are there things that are in my childhood that might have made my sure. Because everyone's broken somehow. Well, some I there are things that are sort of regional, though, in terms of, like I got a guy I work with all the time in my caucus. He he spent a lot of time in Louisiana. And I grew up in Southern California in the San Fernando Valley. And anytime race comes up, I'm like, come on. Who cares? You know? And he's like, oh, no. My high school is blah blah blah blah blah. And I'm like, I'm from North Hollywood. It wasn't any there wasn't a thing there wasn't a thing to it because it's a SoCal different vibe. But I would, I mean, I would argue and I'm from Raleigh, so it's not like I'm from, you know, the bayou. I'm from Fayetteville. Okay. Well, that's a Fayetteville's a little rougher than Raleigh. I know. Fairly. Yeah. But but I grew up in a relatively progressive area. I don't I think I just didn't know about it. In the country, listen, I think the I think the South gets a bad rap. Obviously, historically, we did some s**t we shouldn't have been doing, and we behaved in ways we shouldn't have been. But I find that even if you're not talking institutionally, people in the South feel about the same way as you just mentioned. No. I do. I'm talking about growing up. Oh, well, growing up. That's what that's what kind of we were talking about, not modern day. Last time last time I was here, we talked about me not even knowing what gay was. That was the only difference. When I was growing up in the nineties, I had heard the word gay. I'd probably been called the word gay, but I wasn't a 100% sure what it meant. Maybe it means sissy ish, maybe it means that, but I didn't understand what being gay was until probably after after high school because I just wasn't around it. And that would be a difference in San Francisco. I probably would have known what it meant before I did. But And then then you could inhabit who you were and be more at ease, you know, and then have more self confidence. I I don't know. This is just my theory. I'm thinking out loud here. Maybe. But, you know Well, I I let's sorry for jumping in, but, like, I got I got on the show. I got twins. I got boy, girl twins. My son is low key, detuned, you know, aw, shucks, and my daughters kick in the front door, start what about me, what's going on, but negotiating, battling, totally different. It's not he got raised like that. She got she's got a inner Yeah. Metronome that's just boom, boom, boom. He's like laid back, chillax. It's just who he is. It's fascinating to me. And a lot of that is who just It is absolutely it absolutely is. And I'll say the fascinating thing for me is raising so my son is 16, and I'd never talk about him, but I know you, so I'll do it. I'll trust Adam. I it you know, he's straight. Mhmm. While he was younger, who knew, you know, whatever. But when he was younger, the similarities between him and and myself just all day. Everything he did was, like, yep. I did it that way. I handled it that way. All of it was the same. Once he hit puberty, I could start seeing a little bit of divergence. You know? He will handle still does plenty of things the way I would, but he handles conflict differently than I do. He behaves when he's angry differently than I do. And I can honestly see the oh, that's where the gay and the straight separate. So the way he was raised obviously has nothing to do with his sexual orientation, but it's just been interesting to me to see, what is nature versus what is nurture because so much of him is nature. He's he we have similar expressions. He tries to get out of doing homework the same way I did, that kind of thing. But, clearly, the way he handles certain situations are things that are honestly foreign to me. You know, if there's if we're in an argument, I wanna fight it out. He will kind of get quiet and walk away. And that's that's definitely the straight guy in him. Not me you know, that's not something I would do. So there it's interest it's been fascinating for me to see what you were just talking about in my own life. And don't discount his mother's genetics too. It's a very interesting thing. Yeah. True. Well, I you know, nurture nurture, as far as our society goes, you can sell a lot of books with nurture because you can tell people how to be a parent and do that and discuss that. You know? Nature there's no commerce to nature. Fair. You know? And and even you know, there look. I'm not, you know, I don't know, r k junior or doctor Spock, but I just mean between therapy and pharmaceuticals and self help books and and and and seminars and stuff, there's a lot of money in terms of nurture. Nature is just like, sorry. That's who you are. You know, it's like your height or your eye color just is what it is. Well, for now, there's no telling what what you make eventually. Yeah. Right. So but in in nurture also, there's no nature experts. There's lots of nurture experts. You know? Oprah has massed a fortune sort of telling you, here's how to do it, and here's how well, how to treat it and here's what works and here's what doesn't work. We have an author on who wrote a book about something something. Nature is much more powerful and seldom discussed. And it doesn't even it's not as an attractive as nurture, but as soon as you have twins, you just step back and you see it's all that. Because we as humans, we wanna be able to control everything. Right? And you can't control nature, so let's not talk about it. So we pursue we assume. I mean, just like the the homophobia thing, people thinking you can change that, you can't. Right. But we don't we don't understand things that we can't control. So, it it is fascinating. I I can only imagine it's even more so with twins, but it's fascinating to be able as a parent to look and see, wow. That has nothing to do with anything I did. Where the hell did that come from? It obviously was nature. Well, twins and especially if you have boy, girl, twins, you really could see the difference between women and men and and and how they react. And Wait. You're saying they're different? Yeah. I don't I know we've been spending a lot of time, and it was and it's not it's been longer than people think because I'm older than you guys, and I had a mom who was progressive. And she used to float that, you know, if you give a young girl a pop gun, she'll play with it. If you give a young boy a dolly no. That's there's my son hear how much my son protested once, and he's not even a loud guy. But, there are 2 I think there are 2 events. 1 was we took him and her to the feast of San Gennaro, a feast that Jimmy and I started years ago in LA, Italian feast. And with the way the car was parked and the whatever was going on, he was asked or forced to sit in her pink car seat Oh. For the ride home because the other blue seat was not in the car and there was just him or whatever it was. He had to ride in her seat. And it's a pink car seat with ponies on it, and he was 2a half, and he threw a f**king fit. Really? He f**king hated it. He couldn't stand it. And then and he's not duty at all. Like, he didn't play football in high school. He doesn't fight. Like, he's laid back. But he's like and he was 2, and it, like, kicked in hard. And then later on, we were out of his, like, you know, Captain America pull up diapers or whatever, and he had to use his his sister's princess pony Oh. Pink pull up diapers. It was like it was a total it was like trying to land a marlin onto a gaff of marlin onto a fishing boat. Like, it was like struggle flailing, like, punches being thrown. Like and I was like, what? Who cares? What do you even you know? I was like, oh, it's strong. And too young and too young to have been taught that either. Like, just naturally. He he didn't get it from you know, he used to hang out at this dive bar, and there was a lot of merchant marines, and they talked a pretty good story. And and by the way, he was raised by his mom and his nanny and sort of me half that I was traveling around. You know? I didn't poison his brain. No one cared. No one said anything about, here's what boys do and here's what girls do. My kid immediately wanted trucks and, you know, handyman stuff, and I we made an effort to not have a preference for anything. You do what you wanted. I mean, that's not to say The gravity of the story. I know I know little boys who like pink. That's their favorite color. That doesn't mean they're gonna be gay, obviously. Yeah. But but it is it there is something that we I mean, we all have passions, things that we are interested in that have no one taught us to be interested in. Most of the things that we fall in love with or want to do by the time we're, you know, adolescents and we're lit figuring out what we want to do with our lives, we're not taught you must want to be this for a living or you must wanna be that. We just stumble onto it and realize, wow. I love that. I enjoy it. So you you said you didn't really know what gay was till you get out of high school, but what we're looking back, the signs that you're like, oh Oh god. There's signs nonstop. When I was in when I was in 2nd grade, I wanted every time the class would go to the bathroom, I wanted I won't say this person's name because I'm still afraid. This person knows this, but I don't wanna put him on blast. But we're in 2nd grade, and I wanted Bob to pick me up, to lift me. I would be like I would be I would challenge, you can't pick me up. You can't pick me up. And he would be like, yes, I can. He pick me up. We're in 2nd grade. Nothing about it nothing about it sexual whatsoever. I wouldn't even know what that meant. But there was oh, there's plenty of facts. In a strong man's hands. I rigged now this is a horrible thing. I was when I was in high school, I was in charge of the homecoming dance type thing, like homecoming court, and I was in charge of counting the votes. And I oh god, I could crush somebody's dreams. The election run off. I did I rigged the election. I counted it because I wanted the person who won. I had a I I didn't have a crush on him because I didn't know what that meant, but I wanted to be around him more. And I knew that if he was the king of the holy coming dance, I would be the person who was working with it. And so I rigged it so that he would be able to get it in the the auditorium. So he's listening today going, wait a second. He got less I didn't win. Boy. He got less votes. I don't know. I didn't even count that s**t. You didn't count it. You rigged the Clay h oh my god. Clay h can rig the elections. If I could rig elections, I wouldn't be losing so damn much. Believe me. Clay, ever think that the fickle finger fate has repaid you for bringing that money all those years back? I can't even I can't even remember who else was was nominated or up for a vote. So I I may have got the sliding doors that may have happened there. Maybe karma came back. Probably you know what? I deserve it. b***h. I deserve it. Get a Facebook message about this. So you asked what was the reasoning behind me losing Apprentice. Now we know. Now we know. So we got the standards here with, Christmas bells are ringing with Claesham and which is fine. That's all I want. I want the old school. I want the old school fair. I want the old school songs. I want those I I I don't I don't like modern decorations. I don't want anything. I don't like when people say holiday, you know, party. I I like Christmas. I'm just old school that way. But I started thinking songs I didn't need to hear, and, John Lennon's So This is Christmas drives me nuts because it's a it's an intentionally it's an intentional bummer song. It's, like, it's there to go, you guys enjoying your figgy pudding while others go to bed hungry. And it's like, okay. I know everyone worships and adores John Lennon. I hate that guy. He's a blowhard. He's a f**king bummer, and he drives me nuts. And this is a perfect example because there were a 150 fantastic Christmas songs before John Lennon decided he needed to bum everyone out with his s**tty brand of it's not even a good Christmas song anyway, and it should be rejected. I I'm tired of hearing it pop up in between the standards on the SiriusXM station. Reject it. It's a bad song in general. He's a s**t singer in general, and the message is counter Christmas. So let's just pull it out of the jukebox and throw it in the dustbin of history. I do not wanna hear this f**king where is this song, Joe? You gonna play it now? We're gonna we're gonna play it. Fist the sky off some more. It's made it's made me angry. But, Dawson, if I'm yelling about something long enough, you can, reach for the computer is what I'm saying. I know you're mesmerized by my words, but there's a good chance we may hear it at some point as well with your good rest, by the way. So this is It's also kind of a sea shanty. And you Well, I don't I'm not a fan of depressing, sad Christmas songs here. Good. It's it's like I hope you have fun. It's the it's like there's a little window for us just to raise a little eggnog and put our feet up and not beat ourselves up, but just kinda enjoy our family. And, With this one? No. Oh, that's what I'm saying. No. That's Christmas. This s**t. Okay. This. This s**t, dirge. This will be awesome if Yoko would just start screaming in the back of it. Maybe not Wait. Next next line. Alright. Pull it out. Done. Know that was John Lennon until now. Maybe I did. Oh, you have to know. His plan is to bum everyone out about everything else. Sad thing that it must be him. It's his fault. Well He's a he's the ultimate blowhard because he imagines a world where there's no borders and no possessions and no governments and no anything. And I'm like, alright. Now I've imagined a hoverboard. So alright. Go invent 1, Jen, because I came up with the idea first. It's like, alright. Blowhard. Right. But nothing. You can't Well, you're still here, and he's not. So you have that Yes. You have that Good. You can hang out with. No. I'm only mad at him because everyone I hate loves him. That's that's why I I realized I have that A little jealousy there. Alright. Every blowhard on the planet worships John Lennon. If you are blowhard, you love John Lennon. That's how it works. I feel like some of that stuff is, like, not just that, but there's so much that's artistically supposed you're supposed to love. Yes. Yeah. And people love it simply because they were told to. Yes. Like, I Every music I love I love Hamilton. I thought it was great. Mhmm. But I don't know that I'm one of those people who thinks it was the greatest thing ever created, and people are you know, the reviewers and I know people who go into the show and come out crying and that they're jizzing on the seats and everything because they and I thought I don't even think you understood it probably. That's a great Christmas song, jizzing on the seats. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack off chiseling on the seeds. You don't need me to sing when you got Adam to. You got me. I think I think I think John Lennon without The Beatles on his own was one of those is one of those things where people like it because they think they've they're John Lennon is a Che Guevara T shirt. Yes. Everyone thinks it's cool. Interesting. That's a very interesting metaphor. Yeah. Very interesting. Cage fighters are a metaphor. Good. Yes. Yeah. No. I I completely agree. Minus the Beatles, just a a bunch of sort of s**tty songs and with hiding behind side of some sort of cloak of activism or something, which anyway, only idiots who write for Rolling Stone love John Lennon. I I will tell every r****d that writes for Rolling Stone Magazine, I will tell you the bands you love, and then you will all agree. And this is when you have to question credibility. So I know that you love the Beastie Boys. I know that you love Prince. I know that you love Lou Reed, and I know that you love John Lennon. Now what do any of those things have in common sonically? Nothing. Mhmm. But I know who you know and who you love because you have to. And we I just went through it with COVID. I know who's an expert on Ivermectin and who thinks it's horse paste versus who versus nobody knows what Ivermectin is. Before they even say it. Yeah. Because you just Like, anyone knows what Ivermectin is or whether it worked or not. I know how you come down on it, which I shouldn't know about you. That's what I'm saying. You're a music critic. I shouldn't That's an interesting question. What you like in advance. I know, but I don't wanna know. I would like you to use your critique of music and and enlighten me instead of knowing how you're gonna come down. Living in the wrong decade. Well, I know. Because that ain't happening. How I roll. Now now this brings me to Wicked. I haven't seen it. What? I haven't seen it. Give me your gay card. I know. Well, that that's partially why I'm not car? Because I I it's digital now. I just show my phone. I just scan my phone. Oh, you just want to get your gay card. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen it because I I don't I did love the show Mhmm. On Broadway, and I I were I always worry that something will be messed up. So I'll watch it when it comes to Here's my problem now. It's it's, like, 90 6% on Rotten Tomatoes. Everyone's loving it. There's 2 people I talked to that saw it, and they're like, meh. Like like, I I I've talked to a couple of people who I trust in terms of film, and neither one was, like, that into it, but yet it's in the nineties on the critics and on the the people on Rotten Tomatoes. Because you because you might have to. I mean, if you if you, listen, if you say the wrong you also you don't just have to like the same things that everybody you also have to hate the same things that everybody else likes now. Right? Hates now. And so I imagine I can only imagine what it's like to be a critic and dislike something that too many people like and you get attacked and, oh my gosh, you lose your job. 100% agreed. I agree. And that's why I go to the audience score now to see if I can get the real skinny on it. And, usually, when it's something of a nature that you have to like, it'll be high with the critics, but the audience will have it a little more down to earth. Like, you'll you'll know a little more. The odd The audience likes this one, you're saying? I'm saying it is equally as high with the audience. Well, that's good. I mean, I don't but I also hate the fact that they're doing it in 2. Like, it's very, very c**ky to believe that Yes. Because it ends at the intermission, and then there's a new movie next year that's gonna have the other second half. And I feel like that's pretty c**ky to believe that this one's gonna be so good that you're already planning the sequel. Yeah. I'm still waiting for Cats 2. Yep. No. You're not. No. You're not. Nobody wants to see that. So I might wait until the second one comes out so I can see the whole thing in one sitting, and just get it all done with. But it ends it ends a little early for me. It's funny. I talk about music. I just popped in my head. My, 18 year old daughter had breakfast with, on Sunday. And she she was telling me, I do like the kind of mouth of babes people. Now well, kids will give it to you straight. Yeah. And, also, the community is kinda interesting because I was talking to my assistant, and I said, he'd done a lot of baking, for the holidays. Okay. And I said, how were the how were the pies received at your home? And he said, very well. And I said, very well? Our people were being nice because, you know, I like to poke around. And he said, remember, my family has, some mental issues. Family with some syndromes. And one thing you get syndromes. One thing you get with the syndromes is the truth. Okay. Because they don't know how to sugarcoat things that are sugarcoated. You know? They go right to the truth. And I was like, oh, yeah. That's the way kids are too. They don't fake it. At 18, though, your daughter who's 18 who doesn't sugarcoat things? She can, but she said this. So we're we're talking, and she goes, oh, I went to a couple of concerts. Who is the blonde chick who's doing the show Sabrina something or Carpenter Carpenter? She went to Sabrina Carpenter concert. Right? And, you know, Chick's taking over doing all her sexy lingerie and stuff, and and she was like, it it was a real good show, and she was real good. She put on a big show. She didn't do a thing where she said she sung real well or played all the instruments. She did she didn't put on a real entertaining show, which is like, alright. That that's what people do. And So kudos to the crew. She's a pop star. Kudos to the crew. She's a pop star. Then she mentioned I don't know if we can think of the guy's name, but she mentioned that she also saw a DJ, you know, later on or before at the same venue, I think, you know, weeks later or whatever. She's DJ. Guy was big DJ, and I don't like DJs. And and so because I don't know what they do. You know what I mean? And then she play other people's stuff. Right. And I Makes it well. So she goes, Sabrina Carpenter is real good. Like, she put on a big show. It was real entertaining, blah blah blah. And then we went to Mike Mendez or something. I can't think of the guy's name. And I go, who's that? And he goes, he's a DJ. And I go, oh. But I'm always kinda looking for what what what am I missing? You know what I mean? Like, why is stuff so huge, but I don't get it? You know what I mean? And I wanna get it. I would love to get it too. I would love to get it. Replicate it. No. They, yeah, they do that thing where I go, this guy's got 200,000,000,000 views online. You know? And you go, what's he do? His kid unwraps toys, you know, and then reacts. And you go, 200,000,000,000 view? Let me see this. And then you watch it, and you're like, I don't know what the f**k this is. And then you're like, oh, there's nothing to get. There's just this. I get it. You do? Yeah. I totally get it. Because everything is context. So then we all have our own individual algorithm. Back in the day, we all had ABC, NBC, Fox. Right. That was it. And so you had a channel to run all your headspace through. Now we've all grown it the Internet's old enough where you've all grown the kids, I'm saying, have grown up with their own algorithmic channel fed into them. So just like you But why are they all but why are they all getting Sabrina Carpenter? What? Yeah. That is interesting. I don't know. Because all their channels, all their TikTok dances are coming from that. I I don't know what I can say. I just see kids. They like some I I'm right there with you. Why is this popular? I don't well, listen. I asked my kid now. Have you heard of such and such if I'm gonna do because I don't know what's popular at for s**t. Because our algorithm is different. Well, because my algorithm's broken. I don't even know I don't. I'm too old to to get it at all. Just got boobs in it. Joe, what popular DJ played out in Los Angeles too? I don't know if it's big. You know? I don't know if it was He gets so big. So stuck. John Summit. Yeah. When did she played the Kia Forum just before Sabrina Carpenter. John Summit. So I say to my I I never heard of that. Probably sold the like He's playing the 4. Right? He's playing the f**king 4. Yes. And and so that's where Bruce Springsteen plays. You know what I mean? And so I go so we're at 3 nights at the forum. Oh, 3 nights. 3 nights. Oh my god. I think we're old. I think we're old. Yeah. We're 3 nights. Have you ever heard of them? Is there a song that he does? Yeah. Yeah. Bump is number one hit. Alright. Which is a sample. Okay. So here's the point. She she goes, I saw Sabrina Carpenter. I saw John Summit. I go, who's John Summit? He's a DJ. I go, okay. Now this is me trying to learn. You know? Did you enjoy the show? She goes, oh, yeah. It was it was fine. It was like, you know, music it was more of a scene. You know? It was like a little less of the show. And I go, but what did he what did he do? Like, what what is this 3 nights sold out Right. Worth? Like, what is he doing? And she goes, well, he she goes, he didn't really need to be there. And I was like, oh, Mike. The kind of job I'm asking. Yeah. Yeah. And this is where we're at now? You didn't need to be there? He's like, well, he coulda just had someone push the button and then went home or not showed up at all. Right. Because they because the DJs don't talk or anything. They just He didn't need to be there. No. No. I imagined me talking about Gordon Lightfoot back in the day. Yeah. Gordon didn't need to be at the Gordon Lightfoot concert. Like, are you f**king nuts? That's insane. Now she said it mouth of babes. Like, she was like, we had a good time. You know, not really. I you know, it wasn't my idea to go, but, you know, people had fun. He didn't need to be there, but it was fun. She wasn't like, I want my money back. She was just like, he didn't need to be there. And I do wonder if you could tell the different I mean, I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this. Could you tell the difference between something DJ'd by that person versus another person? Oh, versus pair look. You know, if I got that guy alone in a room, I'd go, listen. You you got all the money in the world. You've got all the accolades in the world. You stole money from my daughter. That's fine. You sold out a key up for him 3 nights in a row. But you do understand Paris Hilton can do what you do. Well, no. I I would believe that I would I would argue. I would argue. I would argue. Would you have to have a little bit of respect for the fact that he pulled it off? No. Yeah. He did. I did. Here's the thing. The DJ now is a producer. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Some guy who makes some tracks, then he takes all the buttons of his, like Mhmm. Individual clips of his song and then mixes those up for you that night depending on how things go. And to be fair for for the decade prior to this Yeah. When DJs weren't big, they really should have gotten a lot more credit. Because you can think of dozens of artists who aren't great singers Yeah. But their tracks and their songs were so good. And I'd listen to them and think that's not anything to do with that singer. That's a 100% of the producer. I totally grew up in the rave culture. Like, totally grew up in it there. Producer. I understand exactly what she's into because it's like this thing where My daughter's not into it. Yeah. I get it. Right. At all. Her friends are, though. Yeah. But she spent money on that ticket. Yeah. Yeah. She went to the Kia 4. She just went Yeah. She went to go, like, because their friends were going. Well, please, by all means, next time I do a concert, I'm gonna make sure that her friends drag all the people they can along just to go. What'd you think of what'd you think of my friend Clay? He didn't need to be there. There you go. That that makes it even better. We have him playing an orchestral version Oh, wow. Of his biggest hit. Well, what is his biggest hit though, I guess, is the question. Where you are. Do you have where we recognize it when we hear it? Do we have where you are, though? The the the album version you'd like to hear. Is that what you're saying? I would. Yeah. Sure. Because this guy's playing the piano. Right? He clearly needed to be there. I know. That's why I was, you know it's from the show at the forum. So I was like So he needed to be there to play the piano. That was hold on. We'll find out right here. Wasn't paying attention for that moment when he was at first. Molly in the bathroom. I didn't wanna tell you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm into this. I don't I don't recognize it. No. That's as big as hit, though. Give me my glow stick. It's selling 3 Just out of curiosity, how many views are on that video? His Spotify stream of that song is a 168,000,000 listeners. f**k me. You gotta start DJ. Clay Akins wears the eggnog. Yeah. See how he is. How many views does he got on YouTube for more nutmeg on the eggnog, please? Not not quite made it to that 100,000,000 mark. But you're in the high 90s. Apparently, you need to not be there in order to get that. I'm gonna I'll start not showing up. Alright. So that well, as long as we're talking about music, I'm still angry at the Fugees because Why? Oh, nah nah nah. Well, because I was traveling, and I heard no woman, no cry. Mhmm. The Marley Bob Marley? Bob Marley. Yeah. And, Fuji covered it, and then my young girlfriend went, oh, I like this song. And I'm like, it's the same. It's the exact same song with the drum machine behind it, and I don't appreciate that. And that's not a remake. If you wanna do a version of that song, do a version of songs. Do not do the exact same f**king song and put a drumbeat behind it. That's bulls**t. It's a rip off. So I ruin every road trip with that kind of discussion. Play the original for? Her? No. But driving home recently, killing me softly by Roberta Flack came on from the seventies channel, and then my young girlfriend went, what is this? And I went person covered the Fuji idea. And I went, that is the song that the Fugees ripped off and put a drumbeat behind. It's just a song that existed that someone else wrote that is as good or better than what you're doing, but you added a drum machine. And she thought and she thought that the this person that Roberta Flack was covering the Fugees, I imagine. Most people, when they hear the original version of the song they knew from the nineties or whatever, react with confusion? Like, it's weird. The concept of somebody else wrote this song, nobody told you, and I don't know why they don't. But, anyway wait. We have the Fujis or the That's Roberta. Oh, is that Roberta? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a live version. I don't know why the the Internet always pulls the live one up first, but Well, listen. If she's if that's live, she's flawless. Yeah. Flawless. Drumming my bed with bingo. Right. Now if you wanna remake it, remake it. But don't do a replication of it and add a drum machine. Or just stand there and go, another one. Another one. Right. Right. Now you wanna talk about a black R and B singer from the sixties and Sam Cooke that had a remake of another Saturday night, and I ain't got nobody. Wait. He that was his song. That was his song. Oh, you're about to tell me who remade it. Got it. Cat Stevens. Really? This guy knows all these history stories. Cat Stevens version of that song was a remake, but it was a total departure and, like, a Calypso remake, and that's fine. Because it was Re reimagine what that song could be. Oh, That Come on, Clay. I thought you knew music. I don't know this. I don't know cat I didn't even know cat Stevens redid this. Oh, yeah. I did. Than I hate. I know you know. Yeah. I did. Okay. I thought this was Jimmy Buffett. I'm a Sam Cook person, though. So if I was choosing a song choosing to listen to another Saturday night, I'd choose Saturday night. Look. I like the Sam Cook version better, but I'm saying if you're gonna do it, then don't give us the exact same song we already know and somebody else did. Need 3 names. That's all. Fuji suck because they have 2 hits. They're both remakes, and they're both word for word and note for note with this stupid drum machine. He says all of this as I'm promoting an album of Christmas songs. I was actually gonna say. Yeah. You didn't put a drum machine. I think we definitely did not put a drum machine on any of that. Since we listened to all this crappy music, Clay on the on the new album, Christmas bells are ringing, opens up the album with one of my favorite Christmas song of all time. Let's do it. And he mentioned specifically that he kinda tried to model it after Andy Williams. This is the first time listening, but let's see. Oh god. Do I have to listen also? Yeah. Come on, Deal. Oh, I do. Deal. Deal with it. What? Leave that wrist phrase on. There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow. Damn, there'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long It's the most Yeah. Of the God. Clang of the bad, bro. Oh, well, so there's kids jingle bellies. I love it. Everyone Where's that drum machine there, bro? Yeah. Yeah. Drop that funky bass line. That's the most That's why I don't have a 100,000,000. Don't listen yet. I need a drum machine. Yes. Yeah. Already in a better mood. I was angry about the Fujis. Whatever you do, don't play my cover of John Lennon's, movie. So this is Christmas. Oh my god. Don't be Alright. Now we're in a good mood. We can take a break. We'll do some news with Clay Mayhem right after this. Hey. I'm Adam Kroll. That's Brad Williams and Jade Leno. Hey, buddy. Over there, we're doing our 3rd annual comedy, Fantasy Camp. That's gonna be January 23rd through 26th, right in Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are gonna be there. So remember, 2 out of every 3 comics make it big. Or 1a half. Do I get paid for this? Please tell me I get paid for this. Go to comedy fantasy camp dot com and get in on the fun. Yeah. SimpliSafe right now. That's the best time of the year to get some home security. SimpliSafe. Well, they're extending their Black Friday deal only for my listeners. Last chance to protect your home at SimpliSafe's lowest prices of the year. We all use SimpliSafe here. We've used them for years. Over a decade, they've been a sponsor. It's great because everything is modular. So if you move, you can pick up your system and leave and take it with you. That's SimpliSafe. They have active guard outdoor protection. Changes the game by preventing crime before it happens. That's right. Let's not find the person in your house. Let's find them outside your house. 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Get your free quote at ethos.com/adam. That's ethos.com/adam. Hey. It's Adam Kroll from The Adam Kroll Show. BetOnline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting from the earliest odds to in game live betting. BetOnline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen with the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA, and championship boxing, all your betting needs in one place. Head to BetOnline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun. Make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with BetOnline. BetOnline, the game starts here. The Adam Carolla Show presents Clay Aiken's birthday c**ktail party for November 30th. Let's see who's invited. Let's welcome the Irish author and satirist who wrote Gulliver's Travels, Jonathan Swift. Here's the German physicist who first estimated the speed of sound, Ernst Schlodny. See how fast that was? Here's American politician and rifle maker, Oliver Winchester. The British prime minister during World War 2 is here. Let's welcome Winston Churchill. Let's welcome the first African American congresswoman, Shirley Chisholm. From First Blood, it's Richard Crenna. Dick Clark is here. NFL hall of fame coach, Bill Walsh, just walked in. Here's filmmaker, Woody Allen. Alien director Ridley Scott. It's the base player for Deep Purple, Roger Glover. American playwright David Mamet. Billy Idol just walked in. Here's NFL Hall of Famer and MLB All Star, Bo Jackson. The governor of South Dakota, Kristi Noem is here. Alicia Cuthbert is here. Here's Chrissy Teigen and Kaley Cuoco. And the American author of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain. Clay Aiken is on the Adam Carolla show. Wow. Pretty good list. Hot Bridges from Different Strokes is the best celebrity on my list. Really? And I have Winston Churchill and Mark Twain. Oh my god. Todd Bridges is on this He's the highest. Well, I would say you're the highest. Okay. Maybe me, but that's still very sad testimonial. Jesus Christ. Lucky. Now when's your birthday? May 27th. I'm thinking about changing it, though. You might want to. What's yours? November 30th. So you have to move over. Yeah. Think about when when these people were conceived. So around what time? For me, that would be, like, tax day. Oh, interesting. So, I would so what would that make yours? 9 months prior to I can't do math, so we've already established that. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe October? Nobody has any real reason to be f**king in around that period of time, I guess. Yeah. You're right. For me, it was a Halloween screw Yeah. Maybe. I guess. Alright. You got some news there, man. Got some news. Hey, women engage in a mass primal scream in wake of Trump victory. Oh, yeah. Release our pain, they say. Yeah. There's some remarkable footage from Wisconsin of women screaming in unison towards Lake Michigan. Oh, this is Wisconsin. It's weird. Yeah. I thought it was in Michigan because they're yelling at Lake Michigan, but I guess you could do that. Yeah. Let let's check this out. I haven't seen this. They're just going round and round and round. There's probably some poor guy just out of frame trying to serve fish going, hey, b***hes. Jesus Christ. You're scaring the carp away. It's not as big group as I expected it to be. It's not be a larger group. Maybe that's why And it's only By the way, there's 3 dudes there, and they're all trying to get laid. They're not really down with the cost. So that's how guys work. Do you really think that they want it from that particular group of women, though? It's It's a good point. It's not occupy Wall Street. Now the dudes who showed up at occupy Wall Street were looking for chicks. This holds a special place in my heart because my mom met my stepdad at primal scream therapy. Yeah. I forgot. I told you the Whatever you think is new, like, 2,024, it's all regurgitated from 1973. It's basically the Fugees and Roberta Flack. You know what I mean? It's just a rip off The remix. Of of what that my mom was doing all this s**t before any of these people were born. Primal scream with the drum machine. Yeah. It it's all it it was called ecology. Now it's called global warming or whatever whatever we're calling it now, we'll call it something else in in in 10 years from now. But it was it was called ecology. It was called the ecology movement. Not to bring it back to climate change. What I'm saying is is climate change seems new ish except for not to my mom if because if you described climate change to her in 1972, she'd go, oh, ecology, because they just called it something else. But were but were they looking to solve the say I mean, I remember in the eighties, there was the don't litter. I mean, there was this big thing about not littering. And Yeah. So it was always about helping the earth, but in Yes. Ways. This time, it just happens to be don't drive cars or eat meat. Yeah. Back so back then, it was like, well, we do like cows and cars. They're not going there. And we don't really have, like, windmill technology and soul solar was something thought about the cows and cars yet, and then they just recently have had to determine what can we be upset about today. Of you know, it's a good metaphor or whatever because the cars really did pollute a lot, and then somebody said they came up with a catalytic converter and unleaded fuel. And now, like, look. When I was young, if somebody fired up a Pontiac in a parking garage, your eyes would start watering. Right? You fire up a Honda now in a park, there's nothing. You can walk through a park a busy parking structure. You you don't smell it. You don't whatever. Because technology, we we worked it out. Like, they got on it. They fixed it. And but primal scream, What is that? Existed for a long time. It certainly did not fix my mom. That I can I can tell you? I was, conceived, early ish September. That's according to our current Early ish September, that's a little sort of a boring time of year. There's no reason to be. No doubt. No so that's why not many people were conceiving children then. And and, they're already family had an idea. Well, they had a young star in mind. I did. Back to school. Bang a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So they're screaming at the lake. They're screaming at the lake. They say we are screaming in rage, and we are screaming in pain, but we are screaming in unity and solidarity because we have a plan and a way forward. Alright. Yeah. They're, they're The plan includes screaming. Yeah. They're they're refused fashions of members, that yeah. They did a, they said they're screaming like a pack of wolves. We don't wanna scream helplessly at the sky, Samantha Goldman explained. We wanna scream like a pack of wolves to bring down the administration. Yes. That'll that'll that'll do it. That's s**t. Oh my god. They didn't wanna do much, they're gonna need a few more than they had at that group. Oh, that that's pretty sad. 14 lesbians is not gonna bring down the administration. No. Just to be fair. Next up, Belgian sex workers win maternity pay and pension rights in a world's first. This this story is super interesting, because they they decriminalize, I guess, legalized, sex work in belg in, Belgium. And so, because of that, they it has to be this treated the same as any other employees, and they have to get maternity pay and pension rights. Well, I don't know that you'd want them to be working at 8 months' residence, but I know some guys. That's a thing. That's a thing. Certain German tourists would pay a premium. Twice. Twice a plane. Nature. The straight man. But would but would they pay the same rate in the week after they had it? Woah. So maybe that's why you got that's why you need him to go home. Well, that's Stay home for a little bit. That's the Black Friday. Those are called doorbusters. Yes. That's exactly right. That's right. Everything's priced to move. No reasonable offer turned out. So so it went a couple years. In 2022, sex work was decriminalized, but they had no protections or labor rights such as unemployment, benefits, or health insurance. And now under the law, sex workers have the right to refuse sexual partners or perform specific acts and can stop at any time. And, nor can they be fired for any of those refusals. So they're not working for themselves? They're working for a a company? Yeah. Employee employers must be of good character, quote unquote. I I don't know how a pimp is a good character, but, and with the business residence in Belgium, and they also ensure their premises are equipped with panic buttons, clean linen, showers, and condoms. So it's like workers' rights here. It's interesting. I know. That's acceptable. You you expect that there should be panic buttons and clean linens. I think I would abuse the panic button. Like, I would hit that panic button and be like, can I get a turkey sandwich up in here? Sir, you're you're not really the spirit of it well, my blood sugar's low. We're going for round 3, so I don't know what you call that. But I'm in a little bit of a panic. So, look, as long once you legalize something and you go, alright. Here we are. Like, we've agreed as a society to legalize something, then all of the benefits and all of the whatevers and and fallbacks. Like, okay. Now you have to pay taxes. Now we have to have paid vacations. Now we need clean conditions or whatever. Like, whatever goes along with it just goes along with it once you agree as a society, you know, whether it's legalizing pot or prostitution. Once you go, we've agreed, then all the rest has to come in. Yeah. I think it's a good thing overall. In my opinion, it seems like it because it's keeping the women's face. Want your your prostitutes to be well rested. I mean, I I don't know. I just think that people are gonna do this anyway. Like, I don't know. I guess I'm libertarian or whatever you call it where I just think, okay. Well, the market speaks. It's free market. And people wanna pay for sex, then, okay, fine. Make it as safe as possible. No. I agree with that. I just did not I think I was if if you're if you're running a business where you are employing a harem of prostitutes Yeah. Yeah. I might not necessarily trust your Well, what I mean is If you're an individual if you're a self employed prostitute, of course, you can take whatever time off you want. Yeah. But if you're employing prostitutes, I don't want them to be abused. So, you know, you can't do that. Yeah. So, like, they're putting in protections for them, including health insurance. It's I don't I the the notion of the prostitute has always bumped me a little bit, like paying somebody to be attracted to you essentially. Strange. It's like a dubious area. I've just never liked the notion of it. I like the idea of the person I'm with wanting to be with me versus paying for it. On the other hand such a sentimental person. Yes. But you get a massage from somebody who doesn't wanna give you a massage except for you pay them to get a massage. Well, some people say that you don't pay the prostitute for sex. You pay them to leave. I can't the thing that I find vexing we just did that story with Liam what's his name from New Kids or One Direction or Liam Peng. Yeah. Yeah. Not paying the prostitute. And then there was a big issue. There was a Charlie Sheen dust up with not paying the prostitute. There was a you must know the name, Ike Babuchi. No? Yeah? No. No? I could be a Bucci. I could be a Bucci. Klay doesn't know I could be a Bucci. I don't. The boxer? Yeah. Yeah. I know that name, but I don't I didn't know that's how you say it. One of the most feared heavyweights, really of all time. But What prostitute did he not pay? He locked her in the closet or something and didn't find out what happened to Ike of Bayabucci who is feared more than Tyson but ended up going to prison, instead of fighting the people who were trying to duck him because he was pretty devastating. But Ika Bayabucci locked yeah. All I'm saying is this. That's Charlie Sheen, Ika Bayabucci, and Liam what's it from who's it band? Liam Payne. What I'm saying is is when you order a prostitute, figure you're gonna pay them and then bid them a due at some point. Do not there's always a story where it's like, then the prostitute asked for money and and the John got incensed and destroyed the room. And it's like I wonder. What did they think was gonna happen? There's a lot of drugs and booze floating around, but do not be surprised. I've heard the money. The story the other direction where the prostitute, as soon as she gets the money, runs out the door. I heard the money could I could understand a little bit. So I think that's why this happens. It's a strange, like same time. Same time. In July 1999, Aika Babuchi was staying at the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas when he phoned a local escort service and had a woman center's room. The 21 year old woman said later that she was there to strip and do nothing else. She claimed, a Babuchi attacked her in the, walk oh, in the walk in closet after she demanded to be paid up front. People people get real, moody with their process. It's about he barricaded himself in the bathroom, and police discharged pepper spray. So he locked her in the closet and himself in the bathroom? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm just saying invite the ladies into the hotel room and then expect to pay them at some point and see if we can keep it cordial. You know what I mean? I I don't know why why we locking people in different closets and bathrooms? Why has Charlie Sheen got into trouble with this? I I get it. Drugs and alcohol. But Yeah. Well, that can't happen in Belgium anymore. Nope. Not anymore. That's right. They're protected. Legalized. Next up in the news, a brat trashes Walmart as adults make excuses for her in a wild video. You don't know what she's going through. Check this out. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen this. This is going around. She's stamping stomping on produce or on meat or what? What is she doing? Looks like she's in the Walmart grocery section. She's about 9. Bam. Yeah. About 9. Yeah. People are people are afraid of the pair? That's a good question. Hey, baby. I like that everyone's yelling at it. Oh oh, now she's breaking the bubbly. Alright. Now you go after the booze. That's when that's when I intervene. You're wasting wine. My medicine. Yeah. Well, I don't see the parent anywhere. Somebody may be the parent. I think part of the issue is she's black and people are freaked out. I thought she she she seemed to be Asian. Racially ambiguous. I mean, I can understand why people who are working there wouldn't do anything because you you're afraid you're gonna get sued. You touch somebody else's kid. Right? There's a I I think she's black, but I can't she looks like it. But the point is is there's a racial component to it where you just you don't wanna get filmed tackling a young black Right. But the parent should either be tackling her or the parent should tackle them as well. The parent's not there. Listen. I've been past society was the parent. Dude, my dad smacks me up by the wrist Yes. Like, so quickly. How nice, Aidan. Mine would have been by the neck. Yeah. Bust my shoulder out. Somebody showed up at the end. A black man. So I I don't know if that was the parent or or not the parent. But, either way, can't tell. Half black, we'll say. Something. Anyway, her it was her hair that made me think that. Like, who knows this anymore? Yeah. People are scared to intervene. I mean and, also, I don't know what his name is. Daniel Penney or whatever. You got this guy in New York who choked out a guy who was threatening everyone on the subway, and he's Alright. He's on trial right now for his life, basically. So who the f**k wants to get involved anymore with anything? Because You you will get yeah. You'll get well, you'll get sued. You'll get I mean, frankly, I would say the parent would beat your a*s if you touch their kid, but, frankly, I'd have been happy to see the parent show up at all. So because I Yeah. It seems like, yeah, at the end, the the article doesn't go into it that it's not known if that's her father at all. So, yeah, still kind of a I guess we'll have to follow that up later. I hate wasted food. Yeah. Me too. I do. I got that. Yeah. And if I would've worked there and they were gonna be like, we gotta throw out those pork chops. And I'd be like, why? Because she threw them on the floor. I'm like, they're still in the package. And they'd go at some point, I'd go, we gotta throw out the Triscuits and the pork chops. And I go, yeah. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll volunteer to do that. And then I just walk it over to my car, and I throw everything in my car. See, but that's the interesting thing also. It's like, well, there's a big issue of food waste in America. You know, where they if it goes, like, one day past expiration day, they put it in the dumpster but pour bleach on it so that people can't. Yeah. Man. Starbucks too. Starbucks throws boatloads of stuff away. And what is because they're afraid someone will eat it and sue them? No. It's because then the price goes down because if I can get those biscuits tomorrow for free or free. Yeah. The whole black market gets set up instead of doing something smart, like sell like, giving it to a homeless shelter or something like this, but they don't do that. Yeah. This is the you never heard of them. I have, but I thought it's because they had a liability. That would make that sense. Their excuse. Yeah. I feel like once it's in the dumpster, though, they shouldn't have a liability. They should have knew it away. Except the guy. Sued. Listen. I when I worked at McDonald's, I was told to throw away, like, 13 Filet of fish. Oh, I took that chance. I was mad. I walked that s**t to the dumpster. First off, I ate 3 of them all the way to the dumpsters. And then the second thing I did is shove them all in the arm of the dumpster because the dumpster has that hollowed out arm for the hooks. Shoved them all in there and hit them. Well played. I came back to you well played. Day old filet o fish and ate it. Later that day. Later that day. Later that day. Few hours I did. Cooking in the dumpster. I'm no worse for wear. I'm fine. I wasn't gonna waste any of that food. I was gonna be part of the problem. And the the And and nothing really keeps like fish. You know? Oh, you love I'll tell you. Tartar sauce and fish. Those are the things you want the you want in the sun. You want tartar, cheese, and fish to be in the sun before you eat it. That's what something my pappy told me. And and it's better if you sit it as close to sewage as possible. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. You wanna keep it yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That goes without saying. I'm very mindful of you. Alright. One more. Dictionary.com has named its word of the year, and it is not brat. Can anyone guess? Oh. Afraid. Wait a minute. You said mindful of the dictionary. Going I'm going loperbole. Loperbally. I just invented a word. 20 5. Needs to be it needs my family would use loperbally. That'll be 2025. I can see it. I'm going copaganda. What's your what's your guess? I'm afraid. You said mindful, and I was afraid to God that you were gonna say that the word is demure. Demure. Is it Larry? Oh, no. I hate it. You are correct, sir. I didn't want that to be the word. It is. So word went viral over the summer. I don't know. Can you guys bring up the lady who popularizes, please? Because this, this lady is something else. She she has that charisma. She has something about her that just really brought it home. Has a penis. Well, yeah. I think she still does. Probably. I I think she's a lady. I'm having a hard time telling these days. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, buster. You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure. Very mindful. I don't come to work with a green cut crease. I don't look like a black is. Green cut crease. Too much. I'm very mindful while I'm at work. See how I look very presentable? The way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job. A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma, not demure. I'm very modest. I'm very mindful. You see my shirt? Only a little chi chi out, not my chocho. Be mindful of why they hired you. Here's your reality check, diva. What's the name you'd like me to make it out to? See, this is how I got this job. I listened to this. I figured it out. High self esteem, though. I'm so good to know. Some self esteem. I'm so mindful. She didn't throw away a lot of filet of fish. I I'll tell you right now. 13? She did not chuck a lot of fillet of fish. She put that s**t down. She backed them down. I don't know if this is a man or woman. No. She is trans. Yeah. As far as I've read. And yeah. And where might she be working that this Yeah. That's something I don't know. They didn't go into that either. I didn't dig too deep on her. I just, realized that the demure thing just went Let's I always thought the word of the year was supposed to be a new word. Demure's not a new word. That's what that's what I buy for my I'm sorry. Guys, it's wrong. That's why I got Rob I got Rob with behaiman all those years ago. What? Yeah. With Iman? With the behaiman. You know, the lady has a hyman and the man has a Behyman? A behyman. I should say. You know? Mine's still in decent shape. You know? I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm not in tact. But I'm saying that should have been word of the year in 99, behyman. Yeah. I I was surprised. I think I read that another dictionary also named demuret as a word, and I was surprised because I always thought they were supposed to be newly coined words or No. The other the in Oxford, I think they went with brain rot. See, now that's an that's that should be an Oxford dictionary. But, yeah, they're they're just you know, it didn't have to be a new word. It just has to be a viral word. Certainly viral. I am in I have many entries in the urban dictionary. Yeah. Me too. You do? I do. Yeah. That you coin to have? 2. I know a squirrel neck is in there. Freaking squirrel neck. Oh, squirrel neck's in there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But I don't know what Let's look it up. I wanna know what, Mayhem has in there. I have many entries. That you created Yes. And a new one today, so we'll add to it. That's right. Loperbally. Loperbally The standard. Is perfect because my family would have if if I sold out a theater that had 2,000 seats and someone would ask my mom how big was the venue, she'd say about 1500 seats. She would use low perbola. And what would be her motivation for that? I don't that is that is a vexing question. But what I'm saying, other moms may have said 3,000 counter. 3,000 seats and used hyperbole to go up. The correct answer would be 2. Many moms would say 25100 or over 2 or something. My mom would say about a1000. That was very She was a Carolla. Not generous. Not my family did not roll that way. You wanna use low perbole for how many empty seats were there? Oh, just 2 or 3. Right. Right. That's where you it's good use of low perbole. Thank you. My mom would've went, that's about half full, maybe, for 4 empty seats. Right. Right? So does Mayhem have LeBron worked as a cashier at Marina's in Illinois. Cashier. Yeah. Now she's oh, her name is LeBron because we did the whole Her last name is LeBron. Okay. Squirrel neck. Is Brandy ready or not? Credit for that? Well, put Do you get credited for that? I have a sign that says Brandy's here, but she's finished doing her hair. Oh, makeup now. Okay. Sorry. Squirrel neck. So you get credit for squirrel neck. It says her name there. Alright. Is there another entry or is it just squirrel neck? Well, hold on. I need to know what that means. I can use it as more often for little importance. Oh, so it's just an insult for someone. Yeah. It's somebody who's, like, insignificant. Okay. Squirrel neck. I can start using that. I know a lot of those. Great. I'm so glad I brought you some light in there. Do they list them by who created it? I haven't checked in a 1000000 years. I can't remember how if you put in Adam Carolla I've tried to search Whatever you do, don't put in my name. Jason Mayham Miller, and it comes up nonexistent. So you can't search like that. Oh, okay. They'll have it in the description, whatever the word is. I just knew that that somebody told me that. There's a day. You you know you're on urban dictionary? If you search Adam Carolla, then it doesn't it won't come up. I will check that now. Dude, you got plenty of bangers, bro. Like, you definitely have something in there. Do So Adam Carolla as a term means Renaissance man. No. You hang a Carolla is when you take a left on one of those red lights that have the arrow. I just I always hang a Carolla. Adam Carolla has a definition in the urban dictionary. It's renaissance man, patriot Oh, god. Among men. Wow. Did you put that in yourself? I had my publicist in it, but, yeah, she was told to do it. Hell, yeah. But it won't give you any other searches. Your your publicist is the prophet Mohammed. It won't give us your other words. Well, it has behaiman in there. It does. And black simile. Well, that's 2 black guys that seem alike. And dime per scale. And that's I didn't even know why that one's in there. But, that's the ones you've been able to find. Yeah. There's a bunch that that you if you search, it'll say coined by person. So emotional chiropractor coined by Adam Carolla. Mhmm. So for 2025, we need one of these to be the word of the day. I forgot about that one. Yeah. Alright. Well, not for this show, but we'll let's see if we can consolidate these things. And then somebody, you know, put a call to one of the higher ups over there in urban dictionary, and let's get my low perbola. Right. Yeah. Who's stamping in the Alright. Just ask ask Mayhem also has interest. Some plush. s**t my pants laughing so hard. Yeah. Some glitch. Wait. Hold on. That's the old one. I don't know. What is that one? Some Some plush. Splush. Yeah. It's like it's a, you know, s Acronym. Yeah. Acronym. Sub blush. s**t my pants on lapazord. Oh. It's an acronym. You. Okay. Klay's out. Instead of my texts. Christmas bells are ringing, everyone. Let's get back to the basics over here. Oh, it's already up. Low Purperly's already up. I think we're submitting. Oh, good. Good. Yeah. Submitting. Oh. My children need a legacy, and, behind them is not enough. We need more. Spoolish. In Black Simile. Available, by the way. Christmas bells are ringing anywhere you find Feiner albums and website, clay akin. That is aiken.com is where you go for all the good stuff. Always great to catch up with you, my friend. Thank you. Thank you too. God bless you, man. Good deal. Roderick is gonna be in here, and we'll talk to her right after this. BetterHelp. The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Well, the holidays are coming. I look. I like the winter. It's too hot during the summer, so I enjoy it. But it gets a little gloomy, and some people get seasonal depression. And that's where BetterHelp comes in. And by the way, they'll take care of all your seasons over there. Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away. It's not like that yule log. That thing burns out eventually. Even when the season changes, you still feel good because you've gotten your head right. I love therapy. I've always talked about it. Drew's loved it. He's always talked about it, and that's where BetterHelp comes in. You give it a try. It's entirely online. It's convenient. It's flexible. You just fill out a brief questionnaire. You'll get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists anytime at no additional charge so you get the right fit. It is BetterHelp. Right, Dawson? Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/Carolla today to get 10% off your 1st month. That's betterhelphelp.com/Carolla. Did you know you can watch all your favorite crime shows for free on Pluto TV? Totally free? Totally free. They've got CSI New York, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI, SWAT, all for free. There's something suspicious going on here. Nothing suspicious. Just hunches of free crime shows. On Pluto TV, crime never pays and neither do I. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Oh. Oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts is in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and parts, and knowledge that you're gonna need to maintain and do the repairs yourself. I've always used O'Reilly. I've, used to hit the one up on Foothill when I was in La Crescenta renting a house, keeping that, Isuzu Trooper on the road. And they got thousands of parts and accessories in stock either in their store or online. 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It's time to check Adam's voice mail. Aceman. Just had annual harassment training. You're no longer allowed to say the following things because it might impact native Americans negatively. Pow wow, bury the hatchet, or long time no see. But my favorite by far that applies to all people, you're no longer allowed to say all hands in, because not all people have 2 hands. Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. But all hands on deck kind of means the same thing, but hands just means all sailors on deck. Anyway, we're f**king r****ded. Randy Roderick is here. We'll talk about her film, Baywatch, Playboy, of course, you know, Celebrity Apprentice season 2, was it? Or 3? Yes. 2. Season 2 and whatever the all star one was. And the all star one. I was not invited to return for that one. Basterds. Yeah. And, the movie, the film, Wineville, it's, directed by Brandy as well as stars in it, and, it's available right now for rent on Amazon and more. This is a big undertaking to to direct and star in a film, which I've done a kind of couple of times. It's it's a lot of work. How many days was the shoot? The shoot was only 2 weeks. That's a real fast. But it took almost 3 years to finally get it on air to get it released. Yeah. It is a very huge undertaking, and I don't think I'll play all hats ever again. I was also the producer. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. And especially if you're in most the scenes Mhmm. Which I'm assuming you were. Yeah. It's Two thirds, probably. Yeah. And then directing yourself. Why the choice? It just worked out that way with everything. We originally had someone to do it, and he went to jail. It's kinda weird, story, but that happened. So we were getting into it, and I have a good friend, Richard Schenkman, who's an amazing director who also wrote the script. And he's my mentor and was with me on set with me every step of the way. So, he was there through the whole process. So I really had someone there with me. So for you, what was you grew up in California. Right? Mhmm. And what was the plan when you were younger? I always wanted to be an actor. You did? Yeah. So I was always putting on, you know, little performances in my living room, and I would go around all the neighbors and sell tickets. And they would come and, you know, watch the performances, and I would have all the little kids in the plays. And so it's something I always wanted to do. I think they call that not not in a derogatory way, but like a ham. You like the tension. I was told I was a ham pretty much my whole childhood life by my family. And was this based on anything? Were your parents in in the arts or any of that, or you just stood out? Well, my mom is an artist. She's very creative. Her grandfather is an artist. He made, amazing furniture and you know, so it's kind of in the blood just being that type of creative person, but, there's no one, you know, that's in the acting or singing or anything like that. So did Baywatch come before Playboy or Playboy before Baywatch? Came simultaneously, actually. So when I, left for Baywatch was April, and then my issue came out in April. So they both kind of happened at the same time. So first, how how does Playboy come about? And how does Baywatch come about? Well, Baywatch came about because I actually went in to audition for another role for some volleyball TV show, and the same casting directors were casting Baywatch. And they said, you'd be great great for Baywatch. You have to come in and meet the producer. And so brought me in there to meet one of the producers. They're like, we're having a a test, in, like, 2 days. Can you come and, you know, and go and do a test with some of the other actors? And yeah. So I hurried up and went and, met with my acting coach, Ivana Chubbuck, and, you know, got it all together and went and did the test. But first, they pulled me in that day and did just a quick cold reading, and then went and did the test and and got the job. I actually was auditioning for a smaller role, and they ended up giving me the the lead role of the headlight lifeguard. So it was Have you watched the Baywatch doc? Yes. What'd you think? It was great. Yeah. Yeah. It it was great. I thought it was really interesting. But oftentimes, when there's a telling of a story that you were involved in Mhmm. You don't enjoy as much because you see how much they got wrong versus me who has no idea. I just believe whatever it is they say and go, that's interesting. Well, I mean, of course, you hear mostly the interesting stories. Right? The kind of, unconventional stories, let's say, or the ones that have heartache or situations like that. Whereas my story really was it was the best job I ever had. I got to live in Hawaii. It was so amazing. So my story is not as interesting, let's say, as, you know, Jeremy Jackson who overcame, you know, horrific drug addiction or Jason Simmons who, you know, had to hide the fact that he was gay, you know, had they, you know, had to, you know, showcase all of those stories that are more interesting that you didn't know, that the public didn't know, as opposed to someone like myself who just had an amazing wonderful time. Kind of like the did you ever see any of the playboy the playboy documentary? Mhmm. I think I was in some of them. Just like in the background dancing, doing your disco moves? I I remember being interviewed a time or 2 for Playboy something something, and it wasn't the Playboy doc. But I've I've always I've always liked Hefner. I've always been interested in the story. It's it's very American. It's very kinda uniquely American. I I I won't say that he doesn't get his due, but somehow got a little bit lost in the history of this. You know? He he's a much bigger part of a big chunk of this country than people really think about. Mhmm. You know, like, first off, Playboy was ubiquitous when I was a kid. There were Playmates whose names I remember, you know, from, you know, the formative years. Yeah. I was literally thinking the other day that my I had a couple of neighbors that had Playboy. My dad didn't have Playboy. But when I would babysit, I'd first thing I'd go for is run and go get those Playboys, which I knew where they hid them Yeah. You know, in the bathroom under the sink. And I could remember the women in them and it like, super, like, formative. And and then then the whole sort of civil rights aspect and the arts and the jazz and the Miles Davis and, you know, driving a Mercedes you know, 54 Mercedes 300 SL convertible, like, back when everyone was driving Pontiacs and Oldsmobiles and stuff. Like, I mean, the Chicago mansion and Yeah. Just being on the crazy kind of vanguard of of everything, you know, with lots of real articles and real culture as well as naked women. Absolutely. And I I wish that people could remember and kind of see that side of it as opposed to possibly now with the whole new me too movement. Everyone is so negative, you know, against Heff and what he did, but he really did. Like you just mentioned, he was civil rights and so many different things. He did so many amazing things, for our country. I remember reading an interview with Andrew Dice Clay in, like, 1989 and going, oh, this is really interesting, and this is kind of an act, and he's putting on this character and stuff. And it was like, reading the interviews in Playboy was really innovative and interesting and eye opening, and there's a lot there. Mhmm. And, I I think the guy's pretty much Mount Rushmore sort of cultural icon stuff. But, you know, you dated him, so you tell you tell me. Yeah. I that that's kind of the point I was getting at in the beginning is that, you know, for me, my experience with Hef is, is one of you know, he was with a lot of stuff kind of a teacher. You know? I learned about jazz and, Miles Davis and different music and different old classic films because we watched old films, you know, 2 days a week in the two and a half years I was with them. And he was just very gracious and such a wonderful human being. So to hear people talking horrible things about him, it's it's very it's hard to hear because that's not my experience with him. My experience with him is, you know, one of just amazing fond memories and experiences and, you know Yeah. And also, you know, an entrepreneur. I mean, a guy started off with not much and Yeah. Sort of I believe, we can look this up, Joe, but he I don't know. He's living in Illinois. Probably bad marriage. You know, not much going on. Wanted to start this magazine. Needed a way to start it, and got those Marilyn Monroe pictures for some sort of discount or on the cheap or somehow. I don't know how he procured these Yeah. Pictures of Marilyn Monroe in the nude, but somehow got his hands on it and launched that first copy with that, and that's what really worked. But whatever. He he built things. Yeah. Yeah. And he was a dreamer. You know? And I don't know if you know this or not, but in the very beginning, he wanted to make movies, and he made movies as a kid. Mhmm. So he was very you know, he's also a very creative person, but he was a a dreamer. Now so when you and he, I guess, coulda had his pick of the litter over there in terms of girlfriends. So I guess kinda flattering that he chose you. I don't know how that worked. I mean, yeah. I was I'm flattered. I was just, you know, a girl from, you know, Northern California coming to LA to fulfill a dream. And I don't know if you know this the story or not, but my mom actually named me after a Playboy model. So I had known that since I was, like, a young kid. So I'd you know, since I was, like, in 5th grade, oh, I wanna be in Playboy. You know, I had to live up to this image of this mom you know, a mom. Mom named you Brandy Mhmm. After a Playboy model. So Mhmm. December 1953 is the issue. Marilyn Monroe, it was from a nude calendar pick she did in 49 under a different name for 50¢. Hugh Hefner purchased the rights to the Marilyn Monroe nude photos from a Chicago area calendar company in 1953 for $500 Wow. Which was, you know, decent money back then. Maybe it was $8 or something Yeah. Something like that. Oh, $50. Sorry. It's a point 50 or something. Anyway, it was $50.50 what? No. Maryland got paid 50. Oh. Hugh paid 500. The the calendar company probably thought they made a killing, and then Hugh launched Playboy. Wow. And then all the clubs and all everything, after that. Yeah. And, yeah. I mean, the Playboy Mansion back in the day, I had a chance to go there a couple times, do a few things there. Yeah. It was well, the time that I was there, it was awesome because it was before you know, we had camera phones and everything. It was 98, 99, 2000. And so all the celebrities could come and just have fun and enjoy yourself. You didn't have to worry about, you know, creepers behind the you know, everyone taking pictures and having them be out on social media. We didn't have any of that. Mhmm. And then that all changed, like, in 2001, 2002, and it just changed everything. And people couldn't go up there anymore and feel free and liberated and just, you know, have fun. Yeah. The thing I always remember from going to Playboy Mansion is seeing all the peac**ks up in the trees. Mhmm. And I was like, how'd those peac**ks get to the top of that tree? And then someone would be like, well, they flew. And I'm like, how come I never see them fly then? Like, they're always walking around or they're up in the tree, but I never see them flew fly up to the tree or fly down. But then people show me videos of them flying. Yeah. I just never see a peac**k fly. But if you go to the mansion, you go there are these huge pine trees, and you go looking up, and it's 80 feet up in the air, and there's just a peac**k standing there. But I never saw it get up there or get down. Yeah. They do. I I actually have had many peac**ks, at my house, and they'd that's yeah. At your house? Oh, at the mansion or at your house? No. At my at one of my properties. I sold that house now, though. But, yes, we had peac**ks. Yes. Flying peac**ks. Uh-huh. And they had to have babies, and they would have to, you know, be up in the trees to get rid of I mean, to get away from, like, coyotes and stuff like that. But Where was this? Where I live in Temecula. Oh, really? Yeah. Wine country. Yes. I live in wine country. Well, speaking of wine, this is for my grapes. So I brought you a bottle. Thank you. If, hopefully, you drink wine. I do. I love wine. I don't know what's not to love about wine. Yeah. It has resveratrol in it. So, you know, a glass a day keeps you healthy, keeps the doctor away. Yeah. I know. But no one can stop at just one. Although there's a glass and there's a gla*s. Like, there's the glass that's, you know, 5, 6 ounces, and then there's the oh, here we go. Well, you've been surprised because a normal kind of looking glass, that bottle can fit in a normal looking gla*s. Well, my wine glass, I guess. The whole bottle Yes. Can fill Yes. And the glass looks normal. It's a Robert Renzoni wine glass, so it just looks like a normal glass, but you can fit a whole bottle in there. I know it's crazy. Where your head's at with this. I gotta be honest with you. I had a glass last night. Yes. Just one? Yes. Just one. Yeah. Just one. Moderation. Yeah. Moderation's key. So, when you went so it starts with Baywatch and then Playboy, I guess. And what so what Playmate are you named after, Brandi? So I I know the seventies eighties mostly, but I don't know earlier. So I don't know if she was a playmate. It was in a Playboy magazine, and my mom was ready to give birth. She was looking through my uncle's magazine Uh-huh. And saw this beautiful woman named Brandy, spelled it with an e. Mhmm. And when I first met Heff, I told him the story, and we went into the library to try to find all the millions of magazines trying to find this girl, and we haven't we weren't able to find her. So it was probably like penthouse or hustler, but my mom always told me it was Playboy. Well, they would do college coeds and big girls of the Pac 10 and, you know, all sorts of other there was the Playmate and then there was the size models. Yeah. And then there was, like, civilians who were, like, college girls from the whatever sorority, and they just do little scantily cuts. Or the housewives of whatever, Cincinnati or whatever they would do. Yeah. Yeah. So who knows? But, yeah, that was So your mom was cool with you being a playmate. Yeah. And then what about you? Is it something I don't know. Take your clothes off in front of strangers. Like, how did I feel about that? Well, first, I I think the first time I had a bottle of champagne. Mhmm. And the next time, maybe a shot of tequila. I always would, you know, in the beginning had to kinda loosen up with, you know, a little bit of alcohol. And, and then once I did that, I'd just go and I'd be feeling free and feeling good. Mhmm. Yeah. And they I mean, it was a real thing back then, like a shoot and the that same photographer for a 1000000 years. Steven Waite was my photographer. The lighting, had to get all the lighting perfect because we didn't have, you know, the the filters and all the things that they have now. So they had to really get the lighting perfect. When we did our gatefold, you know, the part that folds out, you had to we had to stand there for, like, 8 hours in the same position. It was just this crazy, and they were using the big film, like, film camera. And, the Is the gatefold the centerfold? Mhmm. Yeah. And that's why it's in the gatefolds, girls kinda look a little stressed out because you're in these heels and you're standing in these weird positions. You have to keep that position the whole time while you're doing that all day. And how did it come about with Hef? Did he would he would he like the results? I know you were playmate of the year. Yeah. Was oh, did you get a car? Yes. Yeah. I got a Porsche Boxster. Oh, you did? Interesting. Mhmm. Because you used to get a car. Yeah. And then the last 15, 20 years, they stopped shortly after my year, actually, of getting a car. Mhmm. I also got a motorcycle. Oh, really? A Buall Blast, which is a Harley Davidson, engine. Sure. Belt driven. Yeah. Alright. Best playmate of all time beside you? I mean, we have to say Pamela Anderson. No. No? No. Okay. Well, most popular, I guess. But who for you? The most beautiful. Oh, gosh. There's so many. Most beautiful? Oh, gosh. I always thought Victoria Silvestette was just very beautiful and gorgeous and statuesque and, you know, larger than life. And, another Brandy playmate was beautiful, Brandy Brandt, Brunette. She was in the maybe mid eighties. But, yeah, I mean, they're they're all great. Who's who's your all time favorite? I gotta say Candi Loving. I don't think I know Candy Loving. Is Candy Loving, number 1. Should know her. But Number 2, great rack. Number 3, spectacular. Like, I I don't know what you do better in the one find me some good pictures of Candy Loving because her name is Candy Loving. Cute. Yeah. She's so cute. One. But Yeah. She's very Girl Next Door. Very cute. Yeah. She's adorable. There's a couple other Or you're just looking at her boobs, though. No. I'm about moving around. I'm going up and down. Okay. Find me a couple other that can little we'll go a little more glamorous because this is a little this is a little girl next story I like it. Kind of candy. This is what I call a, natural beauty. I And that name, I mean, what a great name. Candy loving is her name, everybody. Name. Nah. We're gonna need a little better this. Well, no. It all it's all good. There's a couple of good find me a good candy loving picture. What year is she from? Oh, she's, like, 79, 80 or something. Like, a teen young, when you were first starting to Mhmm. That was your girl. Right? So she might it might seem different now than it did back then for you. Yeah. There is so there's always that element where they go, well, that's because you were in your formative years, which is true, but there's also good architecture and s**t architecture. Like, the cars that came out in the mid sixties, I wasn't driving them, and I wasn't old enough to appreciate them, but they're better than the ones in the mid seventies. So you can go, well, of course, you like candy loving because you're in the 10th grade when candy loving hit, but you still can't beat candy loving. That's fine. Good come on, Joe. Find me a good candy loving. There is. No. There's a 1,000 pictures of candy loving. Believe you, man. Just looked last night. Yeah. Yeah. Over the weekend. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great picture. There's, there's still there's still let's see. What do you think about that, the the hair thing? I don't mind it. I don't I don't like I don't like the the shave clean, but I you know, a little bit of a little more the natural look. I still I don't know what's where I feel like there's a 1,000 better pictures of Candy Loving on the on the Internet, Joe. But I don't know. Oh, Joe. I've never even seen this picture and I feel well, just go to her, Are you looking for something in particular? Just go to her pictorial, I guess, is is is what I don't find a picture where Candy Loving looks, we'll find 1. Let's see. Alright. Why don't you put 5 of them up? And I'll tell I'll tell you which one. Playmate candy loving. Yeah. Maybe that's, maybe that's it. Because candy loving, you're just gonna get fat kids. So did you ever meet her? No. Never I've never alright. So go second. And most popular would be, like, the second one. Alright. That would be Oh, yeah. I recognize that picture. You recognize that. Yeah. And, yeah. And I might have I'll go with that. I'll go the boobs together shot too there. That's a pretty good one. Why are you there? There you go. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. Can't go wrong with alright. Now listen. I may have been 15, but this s**t has not gone out of fashion. Whatever whatever candy loving Scott That looks like more than happy for some of that today. Give me that one, Joe. Looks like a current photo. Yeah. Because hot is hot. That's that's kind of the that's kind of the way that's the way it rolls. Yeah. Yeah. So that's how it works. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. I'm going candy loving. Okay. Well, yeah. Yeah. She's a she's absolutely adorable. Yeah. I know where she is now. Never met her. But, that's I can't believe you never tried to find her and have her come on the show if this is your, like, all time favorite. Well, she is, but I feel I'm not sure what we would talk about. Right. And you might be a little old. With a movie. Yeah. Well, maybe she's mess. I'd be like Chris Farley in that SNL sketch talking to Paul McCartney. Yeah. I mean, but but the miss miss miss can I call you cand candy can miss loving? Right. Kinda loving? Well, you could have talked about her experience with Playboy, especially after all the negative stuff was coming out about, you know, half and, maybe she did do a little research. Ball of nerves. I could never get to that. Drink a little first. Take the edge off. Take the edge off. You know? Yeah. So the movie Yes. How's it doing? Is it is it being reviewed? Is it is it being well reviewed? Well, it's being reviewed, and it's out. And you were talking about how you go to the People's Review. So if you go to Rotten Tomatoes, last I checked, it was, like, 98% on the People's With the People. With the People. Yeah. I don't know. The critics probably not gonna Well turn their nose up at it. The critics, you have to have there you go. See? 98 with the with the with the people. With the people. And no reviews with the or 3, but not That's you have to have. From what I understand, you have to have at least 7 critic reviews. 50 plus from The People. Yeah. You cannot argue with 98 from The People. The People. That's pretty damn good. Spoken. So now you have to watch it. Resounding. I will. Alright. Well, let me give it a plug. Wineville, and it's, available on Amazon and VOD. Right? Like, wherever you Yeah. You can watch it. Can watch it anywhere. Rent it, Apple and Amazon and all the things. Are you gonna do another one? I will continue to do movies, but I'll just do mainly producing and acting because it was too hard to try to direct as well. But I love producing. I love putting movies together. I love all that part of it, and I love acting. So I'll continue to do that. Because, 98 with the people. And that's my son too in real life. In the movie, costarring with you. Mhmm. Named after a playgirl model from the nineties. Not playgirl. Playboy. Yeah. But he's a dude. Oh, him. I'm not a playgirl, though. I'm a I mate. Yeah. But there's a there's a alright. Well, I mean, I did the math on the joke before. I don't have to explain it to you. Brandy, where should we send people? Brandy, and I'll spell it, roderick.com. Right? Yeah. I wanna find out what you're up to. Yeah. Movie stuff, all that kind of stuff. Mhmm. Clay Aiken as well, the Christmas sound. Christmas bells are ringing. Me, I'm gonna be Saturday in Phoenix at the Tapatio Cliffs Resort doing stand up over there, and then Pasadena, and then, atio Cliffs Resort doing stand up over there and then Pasadena and then Brookville, New York and Solana Beach and Covina. Go to amcroil dot com for all the live shows. Until next time. Amcroil for Brandi Roderick and Clay Aiken and Mayhem Miller saying. Pick up your phone and leave us a voice mail at 888-334-1744. Now that you've done that, you'll get some tickets at Adam Carolla dot com. Did you know you can watch all your favorite crime shows for free on Pluto TV? Totally free? Totally free. They've got CSI New York, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI, SWAT, all for free. 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