Transcript
Thank you for listening to this podcast , one production now available on Apple podcast , podcast , one Spotify and anywhere else you get your podcasts . So this week's Off the Vine is sponsored by China . Visit my China . Com . To find out more Geico , go to Geico dot com , get a quote and see how much you could save its GEICO easy visit Geico dot com today . That's Geico dot com . Jordan Harbinger search for the Jordan Harbinger show on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts or go to Jordan Harbinger dot com slash subscribe upcycling visit articling coupons dot com right now where a coupon is waiting for you . Peloton with the peloton bike there's nothing like working out from home . Learn more at one peloton dot com . New members can try peloton classes free for 30 days at one peloton dot com slash app terms apply . Talk space . 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China Brand has so many amazing products like their China classic China Crystal and China Comfort . Their China classic is perfect for pretty much any event you have going on or just a sun barbecue at home . The products are durable , microwave safe and made with at least 80 percent recycled materials . So basically all their products can handle whatever you have going on from the messiest of the ribs to giant slices of cake . They're tiny comfort products are made in the USA and come with Built-In drink sleeves that keep your drinks hot and your hands happy , excited for warm fulled drinks coming up . Gosh , this is just too perfect for the holidays . You'll love all the things that they have to offer . Trust me and visit my China dot com to find out more . Hey , everybody . You're listening to Kaitlin Bristow's podcast . Off the Vine . Take it away , Bri . Wine . Lots of wine may be on the mike tonight . Let's go . Hey , Ramon Pino ready for the show . Everyone's welcome . So come on , man . Because ocV , the battle began . Hey . Welcome to Off the Vine . I'm your host , Caitlin Bristow . My face hurts after talking to my guest today . It's stuck in a giant laughing , smiling face . And if you don't already follow her on Instagram , you need to do that . And if you don't follow her on Tic-Tac , you need to do that , too . Average fashion blogger , that's her handle . But she's so much more than that . She is an up and coming comedian . We are all going to see in all of the movies before we know it . I'm putting my money on it and manifesting a role with her and Jennifer Coolidge . But there's actually a lot more to her and her story than just her hilarious , funny videos that we see online . There is writing and work and practice and thought and planning . People forget that a lot of comedy is scripted and written and has to be performed and executed well for it to be as hilarious as it is . So I actually really loved getting to chat to her in this more like realistic , real side of her and what goes on behind the scenes of her videos . Also hearing about her decision to have part of her stomach removed to help change a very toxic relationship she had with food and how that's changed her life . I ask her a bunch of listener questions , so find out what her bachelor limo entrance would be and her confession , which requires finding the other person in the world who had happened to so that she can even back . And you know , what a good five second rule game that she failed miserably at , but almost made me pee my pants . So overall , Awin pop up in some Bino Vinos . And I hope this episode makes your day . All hail the corn . I am obsessed with you like everyone . Yeah . What's out there ? Good . Oh , my God . I just like you . I'm so glad I discovered you . OK , so I must start off with the cameo that you sent me , because my girlfriend Cat is the reason why I found who you were . She was like , you need to follow average fashion blogger . She's like the funniest girl on the Internet . And so I started following you on Tic-Tac and then Instagram , and we just would send each other videos of you all the time back and forth . And like any time we were having a bad day or anything , just send a video of you . And so she was trying to figure out what to get me for my birthday . And she got me a cameo from you . And she was like , look , I knew she wasn't going to disappoint , but she literally just did a three minute skit for you . And she's like , this is like the best gift I could ever give you . I've watched it . I've showed all the people in the bachelor crew like everyone because was so nice . That is so kind . Oh , now she's going to listen to this podcast . She's like she literally texted me and said , are you podcasting with her ? And she put like corn emojis and she's all excited , so . Oh , my gosh . Well , I'm glad she asked me to do that then . That's right . Yeah , it was it was just incredible . Like she just you did not disappoint . I have questions about that cameo later . But first I wanted to know I always ask comedians this . If they come out of the womb funny , like , were you funny as a kid or because I know you've discovered your love for comedy later on in college , right ? Kind of . Yeah . Well , like I always my dad and I like growing up , but he was always , always get mad like I was funny or like make him laugh . And I know I always was like appreciated by adults for my humor and like was known for being funny . But it wasn't like funny , funny or I feel like when I moved to L.A. , I learned more like what my comedic voice is . Yes . Like I know like hit it off with people and like make them laugh casually . But I didn't know how to like create and write until I moved and like really like committed to it . How did that happen ? You just were like , oh , I'm like , did you have a different career path ? And then you're like , wait , I'm actually way too funny to be doing what I'm doing . Oh , yeah . Like like a day at an office . Know a lot of trial and error happened . So like organically and in college , I kind of was like , OK , I really do think I want to move to L.A. to pursue acting and comedy . And I knew comedy would be like my way of getting in the door , but like acting was always like the big thing I wanted to do . Yeah . So then average fashion blogger started because I was just like making fun of one of my friends . And it started really just to like make my friends laugh . And then it games like a following on my campus . And so it really was like , oh , God , I hate those video . Like so nativism again . And like , that wasn't funny . Like , I can't live with that . But it was so much of like just like continued . It was like a drug . Like I couldn't stop creating this . And then like getting feedback , I would ask everyone I would like and my sorority house I would like . Here's someone making one of my very like listening to one of my videos . And I would like stand by the door and like wait for them to laugh . And if they didn't laugh , I would like take note and be like , okay , they didn't think that was funny . But like maybe if I tried this , it was so like it's been so much of just like engaging with my audience and like learning from them . That says a lot about your confidence , because if I if somebody is watching a video that I thought was funny that I did and they didn't laugh , I'd go like cry in a corner . I wouldn't like use it as motivation . I wouldn't be like that to do it . I'd be like I could quit . I can't do it . No , it's more like an anxiety . It's like it's like I I'm like , OK , I have to figure this out . Like I'll I'll figure it out . I'll get him to like me . So I can't I cannot imagine I did . I went pretty far back into your videos and I thought they were all hilarious and like it's just funny because I'm obviously in the world of like so many bloggers and influencers are guilty of this stuff myself . And I just laughed so hard because it's so easy to poke fun at like same kind of thing as in the Bachelor franchise . It's I watch as a viewer and I'm like , this shit is so funny guy crying already . But then when I'm in it , I'm like , oh my God , it's so sorry . Yeah , yeah . It's like that . But it's the what was I just watching ? You were like , hey , guys , this is my purse . It's from Walmart . I love the vintage like rip in it and only I know that one's so old . Yeah . I went I went way back because . Ah , that's so sweet . Yeah , that's because I was fighting on Tick-Tock first and then I was like got on a rabbit hole of your Instagram videos because I felt like even like you're saying you're like , that wasn't funny . Yes , it was . All of it is funny . All of it . It's so good . It's so good and so funny , because I also I've never had a designer person my whole life . All of my purses are from like Target or Payless Shoes . I found some really cute ones there . And so watching that , I'm like relatable , like , okay . Yeah , we've got we have a lot of similar objects . Yeah . Yeah , that's so funny . As my aunt's also weird , like living in L.A. now too , because . Before I was like in Oklahoma , so like I wasn't like around anything , I didn't know anything . And now like I've been in L.A. for three or so and I've just like grown up and like lives change . So I feel like I know like more like what I was making fun of when in the time I didn't even know I was making fun of some of the things . It was just like my actual life . But I had no idea that I was like poking fun at things . It's it's just incredible . Your online comedy basically started just in that way , right ? Like from the average fashion blogger from it getting traction . And because now I love the world we live in , we're like comedians can have a platform on social media . Right . Like because I'm sure you've obviously done stand up and stuff . But do you prefer stand up or do you prefer being online ? So I hate standup . Oh , you do ? I'm working on a one woman show , which I'm actually really excited about . But no , I don't hate standup . The few times I've done it , I actually love it . And it's gone well . Yeah , but I'm so used because since I like learned my comedy online , I'm so used to like perfecting a bit until it's like up to like I'm like , this is perfect . I know . I like done everything I can where standup is such an immediate feedback . And like I can watch a video of mine and like I'll pretty much know the response I'm going to get from anything . But whenever you're online , like if I say something that I think is funny and I don't get the laugh , like I'm sure I'll like panic hard enough to where it would be funny . But like I the I the thought of it , I'm like , what if they like ? It's so scary to me . That's true . But it's scarier . Well , I would think it would be scarier if you're standing in front of an audience and they didn't laugh . Yeah . Has that ever happened ? Because again , I'm right in the corner . No , I have only done standup two times . And both times I think I was just having like a panic attack the whole time . So people were laughing because it was like I don't think they knew what was happening , but something was happening . And so I both times I haven't had to deal with it . But like the idea of them not laughing , like I don't I don't know . I won't put myself in that position to like either . Like I'm just really funny because some people would never not laugh like that . How could they never know ? I just won't let myself just because I'm like , I can't handle them . Not laughing . Later , one woman show , though , are you going to travel ? Can you come to Nashville ? Can I come and watch ? Yeah , I'm going to everything . I've had tickets to all the show . I'll just say I'm working on it . But who's to say if it will actually be born ? But I should no matter what , even if who ever is getting you to do this ? If it's not with them , do it with someone else or do it on your own . You have to do a one woman show and you have to travel the world and make everybody single pop sensation . Yeah , you have to be international average blogger sensation . Yeah , you have to do it . I'm like , I think it'd be really fun . I will rent you a tour bus . Anything I can do to help make this happen , I'm doing it mostly because I just want to go with you . You can find it . Oh , my God . I need someone to come with me . I'll be there . I'll be there . I'll bring my wine and dogs and then we can just travel the world together . You might hyperreal and then we just get to travel and go to fun hotels . Kind of what you're doing now . Kind of what I'm doing now , except I'm kind of in lockdown right now because of the pandemic . Well , do you get to have fun there or is it pretty like strict ? Last season that we did was so strict we couldn't even leave the property like so , so strict . But this time , like we get to go out for dinner . If it's outdoor dining , we can go , OK , it's my podcast producer making fun of me right now . She's always seems to be hung over these days . Yeah , I really I don't . So you are having fun . It's weird . But I pride myself on like not really getting hung over . And you don't know , like very rarely . It's it's like rare when I get a hangover . Do you drink harder ? You like just a little tipsy . Just depends on the day . But usually just like a couple of glasses of wine . But last night . I , I don't know . Oh , I had wine and then I switched to tequila and then I went back to wine . And I think that really did it for me . And I had to leave . I did a workout this morning , and the trainer that I have just puts me on FaceTime . And he was like . He was like , Are you OK ? And I'm like . Because I never like to admit to him , like to go to the doctor when they're like , how much do you drink a week like I do ? I'm like , I don't know , like once a month . Yeah . Yeah , like so maybe once , maybe once a month , but like every night . Yeah . And so I was doing a lunge and I literally just like put the weight down and walked outside and like took out my like little headphones and I just started going . No , I didn't throw up , but I was this close . And I I'm telling you , I've never once in my whole life thrown up from drinking , not once , you know , back in my like party days . No , I never did . So I was like , don't do it , Kaitlynn . I'm like I have like a shirt that says vomit free since 93 . And I'm like like I swear by it . I'm like , I'm not sure if I feel I can't wear this anymore . Like , so it's going to take the year to 2021 . I was like , I thought I didn't throw up . So . Thanks for calling me out on my own bike . That's okay . I would've told you . Anyways , it's that time of the pot . If I ask you if you own a right . Your own home . And I , I actually know you do . And I bet it can be hard work . And , you know , it's easy bundling policies with Guiteau . Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance along with your auto policy . It's a good thing , too , because you have so much to do around your home . Go to Geico dot com , get a quote and see how much you could save . It's Geico easy visit Geico dot com today . That's Geico dot com . OK , Vinessa , we have a very different kind of sponsor for this episode , which is another podcast . And I think it's fair to assume you guys love your podcast . So I want to tell you about the Jordan Harbinger show , which is a podcast you really should be listening to if you're not already . I know that every day somebody tells you like , oh , you just have to listen to this podcast and you nod and say , sure , and you forget , but don't let that happen here . I've told you about the show before , Jordan Show , which Apple named one of its best . Twenty eighteen is aimed at making you a better informed , more critical thinker so you can get a sense of how the world actually works and come to your own conclusions about what's happening even inside your own brain . So every episode is a conversation with a different , fascinating guest . And when I say there's something for everyone , I really , truly mean that in one episode , Jordan talks to a hostage negotiator from the FBI who offers techniques on how to get people that I can trust you , which sounds useful to me and disturbing also at the same time . Another episode is all about birth control and how it can alter the partners we pick and how going on or off the pill can change elements of our personalities . There's also a recent episode with T. Payne , Love Him and an older episode of Just Love with Matthew McConaughey about his green lights . So good . I really enjoy the show . I do think you will use a search for the Jordan Harbinger show . That's h h r b as in boy I and as in Nancy GLR on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , or wherever you listen to podcasts . Keith , I want to talk about the cameo that you made . Are you OK if I post a little clip of it to my podcast page ? Of course , the only issue I never do my cameos never do my . And so I guess just if you're listening to this and God forbid you have been someone that has been let down , just know it's not you , it's me . I overthink every time I do a cameo . And I'm really hoping you overthink that . I'm I going to overthink everything . Oh , it's so funny when people shock me with that kind of thing . Like I would have never expected you to overthink anything . Yeah . And that is something else that I overthink is like , does this does it look like I care too much ? No . Cameos are so crazy because I'm like , I can't leave . Someone's paying me to do this . And then I'm like , this isn't worth it . And I'll make someone's cameo like eight times . And then I'm like , no , I can't . Like , I just can't . Which is way worse than doing it , literally . I think they would just laugh if you just said like hello and said like something small . I don't know . I feel like it must be a lot of pressure to be known as a comedian , though , because then people just expect you to always be hilarious . And that's kind of draining . It's so weird . Yeah , I used to like with my head really hard , but now I'm like , I can only do what I can do . And I also like used to prioritize funny over everything . And now I prioritize just like being kind over everything . So I'm like , if they don't think I'm funny , like at least they'll think I'm kind , which is like more important . So that's what I'm trying to do now . But then when it comes to Kumuls , I'm like , I know they want me to be funny , but I'm not in the mood . Like it's just so it's weird . I get that because you have to have boundaries to of like how much you , you know , are giving to other people while you're trying to like , you know , sometimes cameo . Well , this is what effect does Jason have it ? And I find that like . That's what you start doing on your downtime when really on your downtime , it should be your downtime not to be on any more than you have to be ready to do cameos . I don't . But I it's genius like because I look so smart . Yeah . Like I'm so that was the perfect birthday present for Kat to give me . And now we quote it like we'll be like , stop being a little bitch when we my that girl . Whenever I heard your podcast , when you were talking about how much it meant , and I was like , I have to start doing these cameos , more like that was so sweet . It really made my whole week . Like you really should again have the boundaries of when it feels right for you to do it , because that can be extremely overwhelming . And that is kind of a reason I don't do it , because I feel like I would get overwhelmed and want to please everybody and make sure I respond everything that I would want it to be top quality content . That's what they're paying for it . But yeah , I mean , that is it's your dog , your your career is to be a comedian . So you have to you make money to be funny . Yeah . Yeah , I guess so . You know , I know a little bit just . Yeah , OK . I start crying and we don't twist my words that we know . I will say you were very funny and then you were very kind at the end . I was like , I thought , do you know who a man and Matthews's . OK , you guys would get along great . She's I hate when people do that . That's like me telling me I should be friends with bachelor people just because she's a comedian . I told you to be friends with her , but she's actually the kindest human being and super funny . And she lives in L.A. so immediately just being friends . But yeah . Oh , great . She does . She does . Impressions of people . It's good . Do you do impressions of her ? Because I , I can't ever do an impression of anyone . Really ? Not really . I like . Really ? That's great . You know , I do like it even I like sometimes I just naturally sound like Lindsay Lohan or like Britney Spears or Jennifer like I can if I like tweak my voice a little bit . It sounds like it . So people might think I do impressions , but I really can't . I just it's like a little it's the ones that I'm already like kind of going for . Yeah . Yeah , I hear you do your videos that you did going back to twenty seventeen for your New Year's Eve , like when you ran into oh my God . That is so physically I like can't I refuse to watch . You're blowing my mind right now . I just because I was going to ask another part of me was going to ask how you have all the confidence in the world to like put out these skits or be this funny . But you I can't believe you overthink them . And sometimes you don't think they're funny , like , yeah , OK . So I think . I put myself back in 2017 , me , I think , at the time . I don't think I realized what I was doing , like had I known what I was doing , was going to create this career for me , have all these followers all always things . I don't think I would have post , I think a little bit . Yeah , I don't think it was just for like for my friends . So it was like a fenster is how I thought of it . Hilarious . Yeah . And now . I mean , I guess I don't overthink . I'm kind of pushing it to how much I overthink , I , I don't overthink as much as I care a lot like all the spending , and then I care like a lot about the feedback . You get a lot of good feedback because my audience is so kind . People on my off the Vine page were so stoked that you were coming on this podcast , like . Really ? Really ? Yes . We put out guys like me so far . What do you guys think ? I look so happy every year . Yes . Everyone is so happy you're here , including me . You're just it's it's like . I don't know . People just want to get to know you more because they see this one side of you and everyone like . So we went to ask people questions or have them ask you questions . And so many of them were like , no questions . I'm just obsessed with her . She's like the funniest person on the Internet . She's like a light in our lives . And everybody was just like going nuts about how much they loved you . So it's so bizarre . It's insane that she that blows my mind , too . I thought that's what like you'd want that career to have all these followers . Oh , I do . I do it just like it's funny that you wouldn't have wanted that five years ago or however long that was , because I think I would have wanted it just it would have been a lot more scared to post . And then I feel that . I don't know . It's such a weird thing . Like it's my friend I joke about is this whole thing of like everyone look at me and stop looking at me right now . Like it's like there's a constant like I need all eyes on me . And that like does everyone like me ? Yeah . OK , everyone never look at me again . Like it's just like this . But then , yeah , like I delete social media from my phone every day and I'm like , I actually have outgrown this and I no longer need that affirmation . And then like two seconds later , I'm like , know , I need everyone to tell me that this work is funny . Like it's just a constant . Like , I don't know what it is . It's just a little internal battle with yourself . You're having just a little fun thing that I like to do every day with myself . Fun game you do to torture yourself . Do you get nervous when you post on social media ? No . I mean , I get nervous that I'm going to like get canceled or say something like that . I don't know is wrong . Right . I get scared about that . But Jason says to me all the time , he's like he's like , you don't even think before you hit send . I'm just like , I'll always have a funny idea or a thought or a post and I'll just go like send . And I don't think twice about it or I don't really overthink it either . I overthink when I don't post . I'm like , why am I so boring ? Like , yeah , people are stop caring because I'm just so boring , not posting enough and then I overthink it . But then once I do post , I'm like , I'm on a roll . Yeah . Oh shit . Here I go . Yeah . Somebody it's so funny those days though when it's comedy , just posting . Oh , they're so fun . I agree . I feel like that's the best stuff is when you I mean , that's what it comes across as when you post like . It's just it makes me giggle because you just it feels like you don't give any . And I just love that . So do I . OK , I want to I know myself . I totally I think I'm making it worse for you because I'm like , oh , I thought this you . No , that still is me . I'm making it worse for you right now . I totally get the battle . It's just it's like it takes me from the moment I have a funny idea to posting it . It's probably a total of two seconds . But then I'm obsessing after . Does everyone think it's funny ? Did it hit the way I wanted it to ? Things like that . Like when you ran into pilot , did he ever comment on that ? OK , so I was actually with Pelote that whole night and I had it . Oh , he was this is actually the sweetest thing we had already like earlier that night . And then later I was like , hey , I have a funny bit I want to do with you . And then he was so kind . He was like , I have like laughed at so many times watching your videos and now I get to be a part of it . Is it the coolest thing ? Like it was like a very sweet moment . And then we like made the video and it went well . So I thought you're going to say . And then we made out . No , no , no , no , no . And anyone trying to get to you on that , nothing happened . I was trying . I was like . And then like , oh , she cutting out like it's like he's he actually is a very kind person . Yeah , that was funny because he so he played along with that . I was like , oh , my gosh . Does he not know who that is ? No . We were like I think we ended up we even did the bit like two or three times . So like , wait , I think I like messed it up , like let's just do it again . He was like really into it . Yeah , that's so funny . The other bit that you do that I die is you're like like plastic surgery hats , but like in natural ways . So when you like did the Gatorade lit flip and like or the like the bands around your mouth and just like really natural ways to plump your lips . I was like that . The Gatorade one killed me . Yeah . Yeah , the Gatorade one was . That was like quarantine , I think , right ? Yes , it did . You kick ? I feel like I did that as a kid . Oh yeah . I would like suck the bottle and like get a ring around my mouth and think it was so funny and clean . Kylie Jenner did it like people started , like trying to sue her because they were like , my life's exploded . Yeah , that's not the best hack if you actually injure yourself . But yeah , that was so funny when that went around . Everyone was like coming to class the next day with like bruised lips . Like , I don't want to do it just like so just to like all my social media and be like , oh , I learned this trick from Kourtney and then just do it and you do it and then I'll do it . Yeah . Well , I believe also , like for a few days your lips will be like a little bit tinted because it does like bruise . Perfect . Yeah . So naturally you do the red one . I've told you this before , and I'm going to tell you again , I did throw away that white shirt a couple of months ago because I got food all over it . I was eating dinner scroll on Instagram , boom . I was a mess . So is my white shirt . And I just threw it away , threw it out , because I really didn't think it could be saved . 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Was it so fun to , like , get to be a part of that whole process ? Yes , it's really cool being on this side of it , because I've obviously I was on The Bachelor than I was The Bachelorette . And now I get to be on like the side where I see the production side . And it's so fun . And like I actually feel like I'm bringing some value to Michelle and to Katie because nobody in the world can really say that they've done what they're doing except for like 15 other girls in the world . And so being one of them , I love the real talk . I love when she's like really upset . And I can go in and be like validate their feelings and their insecurities and be like , this is normal . And like , how can I help ? Like , I have had so much time to like write like think back and like de-brief that you probably are like you have so much more knowledge to like give her and be like hindsight . This is what it is . Yes , it's it feels like we're actually like mentors and support systems rather than just like a host role . Oh , my gosh . Which is great . She has you all . Yeah , I just I honestly get jealous for six years ago , Kaitlyn , because I'm like , right . If I would have had that , that would have changed everything . Like , yeah . Just to have a couple people who feel like friends around because you really are just so lonely in a bubble . Can't talk to your friends , can't talk to your family . You don't have your phone just surrounded by producers trying to make television while navigating real feelings . And so it's so cool to be able to feel like a real friend . Like when I go in to have chats with her , I really don't know what she's going to talk to me about so that it's real conversation and me just being like , oh , my gosh , I remember that and I remember that . And this is normal . And like , you're allowed to feel like that . I know this feels wrong , but it's right to like it's so interesting . Wow . Did you like being the bachelor or did you watch ? Did you like better ? I loved being a contestant on the show . I had so much fun . I made so many girlfriends . Yeah , I feel like I was just like I was in the perfect time of my life of like zero Fs given . I truly was just being myself . I didn't worry about the cameras . And like I mean , I got nervous sometimes when I was around him and the cameras . But like in general , I was just like , I'm just going to be myself . And I had so much fun . Venis The Bachelorette , huh ? It was a complete nightmare . Like I just I hated constantly dumping people and like I always felt like the bad guy because guys , when you dumped them , they hate you . Yeah . Like that . They're like , oh , yeah , as if I but you know , you guys . Well , I mean , it's very . What is I look at this picture of my fiance , by the way . Oh , no , that's that's you . You're always perfect . You're like , oh , the childhood picture is just it's everything . But yeah , on The Bachelorette , I was just like constantly hurting people's feelings . They were always mad at me . I just felt like I was always disappointing people , even producers' . I was disappointing them because I like sneak out and try and find the guys when you know , and like , oh , I spent the night . I went in and found it to my guys hotel rooms and just spent the whole night in there , like telling them like certain things and then telling me certain things . And I got in so much trouble , like I got in so much trouble all the time on my season . And I just felt like I was constantly like in a room crying , doing something wrong . Oh , my gosh , that's bizarre . How old were you when he was 29 ? Oh , my gosh . When I was thirty . I was thirty . Yeah , I was twenty nine on The Bachelor and then thirty as The Bachelorette . Yeah , OK . Yeah , it was wild . That is so much to go through . Yeah . Oh my gosh . But I grew so much as a person like I came out of that just knowing exactly like well I chose a little lost for a while , but like you just you process so many emotions and talk through so many feelings and it really feels like you're going into therapy every single day . The producers are very good at their job . Yeah . And you just have to be so like it . Really ? I feel like it's fight or flight . Yes . Like your body . Just like we're doing this for by ourselves . Like we have no one . Like we don't know anyone's intentions here . Like , yeah . It's not even a . Contestant mode . It's just like it's you fighting to like , oh , my gosh . Well , it's also the whole franchise has changed so much as far as like social media and stuff . But I do feel like six years ago was a little bit more hard . It was like right when I was on The Bachelor . That's right . When Instagram started , like going nuts . And people like starting to promote things and getting paid for certain things . Like I don't feel like anyone came on my season to like be Instagram famous , which is nice . I didn't ever think about that like . Obviously , that's something people have to worry about now . But yeah , 2015 is like I don't think people had understood that it was a career thing . I didn't either . I came out and I was like someone was like , I'll pay you this to talk about flat comedy . And I was like , hell , yeah , yeah , yeah . OK , how much ? That's awesome . Yeah . Oh , yeah . OK , because I know you make fun of like , you know , the fashion blogger thing . I want you to do a review of my sweatsuits . So I'm going to send you one of my sweatsuits because I'm launching an apparel line tomorrow . That's part of tomorrow . Yeah . Congrats . It's so cute and comfy . And because I have so I have a scrunchie line . I like we're scrunches every single day and I'm obsessed with them . And so I started a scrunchy company and then we kind of expanded and did like like different clips and like hair things . And then we did bucket hats and now we're doing sweatsuits and they're so cute . So I'm going to send you and you have to like make fun of it and send it to me . OK , well , I'll post it . They'll be so excited . I haven't really done fashion content in a while , and I feel like they'll be really excited to see a little bit of . Yeah , I'm I'm craving some fashion content from the average fashion blogger . Okay . Well , OK . I got to give the people what they want . Yes . Yeah . Go over , think it and go . Go do it now . Right now . I want to watch you do it in real time . OK , also the question I don't know if this is a bit or if this is serious . Did you really have surgery ? Yeah , I did get my stomach cut out . You did ? Yeah , that's real life . But I do talk about it . Or are you like private about it ? I'm totally comfortable talking about I talk about it like a lot in my personal life . It's not it's not like an easy thing for people to understand just in like public . And it's like easy to talk about a situation like this because like it's real conversation by chromed . It's really hard . I don't know how I want to go about it yet as far as like just publicly being like me . Right . You know . Yeah , I feel like this is like totally fine . I'm comfortable with this . Don't think you're pushing any weird . OK , OK , sweating . Oh , yeah , I do get myself cut out . Do you feel do you feel better ? Are you good now like this ? Anyone is confused . In January , I got it's called the gastric sleeve and I got 80 percent of my stomach removed . Wow . Yeah . And it's like a pretty intense surgery . A lot goes into it . I did speak about it like a little while ago . I made like a little podcast . And it's crazy hearing that because I was in like such a different place than I am now . But I talk more about how I decided to do it . And it's not an actual podcast . It's really like a sound Covid link , because I don't know how to do Spotify or anything , but I think my biggest regret with that was just like talking . I like failed . I didn't mention how like serious and intense the surgery is . And I feel like a lot people were listening to it and they're seeing me like lose weight and stuff and they're like , shit , I'm getting my stomach cut out . And I'm like , I guess I should like really emphasize like this is a very big , like , lifelong decision . And you have to like prep for like a year going into it . Don't you like the way you like ? Yeah , it depends . I did it . I did my like out of pocket . So it wasn't through it through insurance , because with my weight I was like such on the cusp of qualifying for the surgery or not . But if I wanted to qualify , I would have had to like gain four pounds and like prove that I was like trying to lose weight for another like six months . And I was like , I've been doing this for ten years . I really don't want to wait six more months . Like prove to you that like whatever it is and my brain can't do it . I ended up like from the time I decided to do it to getting surgery . I want to say it was like three weeks , but it also was like someone said , like it's not a quick decision when like you've dealt with something like that for so long . So . Right . That's kind of how . But as long as you feel better now and you're happy you did it . That's great . So much better . I did it mostly at a really bad relationship with food , like a really bad relationship . And so it really just like the way I think about it . I don't know if this is like a wrong way to think about it , but it's like if you could fix your brain to not have anxiety and or like have an addiction anymore , you would . And I needed to have surgical help in order to break my addiction to like my food . Toxic relationship . And so this surgery did exactly what I wanted it to do . And I really I've never been happier . That's amazing . Kelly Osborne did that same thing . And she I had her on my podcast and she talked about how that helped her with her relationship with food , too . And that . Yeah , that's a good point , though , because I suffer from bad anxiety and depression . I take medication for it . So it's like that's something that has healed you or helped you in a way . And I think that's incredible . Everyone should do what's best for their body . Yeah , it's great . And I was nervous about being so young , getting it done . But I like I'm so glad I didn't wait even two more months to get it like . Yeah . I mean , like I was I was scared . I was jumping the gun and like just being . But I like looking back , I'm like , I know I needed it and I just needed it . Like the idea that you're really happy about it . And thank you for talking about it . Yeah . We're going to take a quick break . I know from personal experience that when you're at a low point , you might feel like you're completely alone , but over 50 percent of Americans actually struggle with their mental health . I want to ask for help when I need it . And I'm so glad that's the case , because therapy has made a huge impact on my life over the past few years . We all need help sometimes in asking for support when you need it is actually a sign of strength , not weakness . Talk space makes it easy to get the help you need , no matter where you are or what your schedule looks like . I've been actually using it while I'm here filming . 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And you can get free personalized samples of your invites so you can try it before you buy . And the free envelopes and guest addressing . There's a lot to plan for when it comes to your big day . So let Zola help you out and you can enjoy all those moments . If you're planning your wedding , here's my tip . Start with Zola . Go to Silicom . Slash today to use promo code , save 50 four , 50 percent off your save the dates . Zola is the one place to start for your wedding day . That's dot com slash vine code save 50 . I'm going to ask you a few questions that some of the listeners had . Stephanie Amanda said , who are your creative inspirations ? And a lot of people actually wanted to know where you get your comedic inspiration . That's sweet . OK , Magas Stalter Do you follow her on Instagram ? I don't . OK , you have to . She is truly the funniest girl in the world . Like , tell me your name one more time . Meg Stalter . She was just on that . Did you watch Hack's by any chance ? No . OK , it's an HBO show that also is really funny . But she just got she was cast in that past season and like Judd Apatow tweeted about her , like she's so good and like she's just I don't like I'm obsessed with her . I know her personally as well . And I like do not know where the line is from being a friend or a fan . She's she's just like she's so funny . And I don't know know just once you see your stuff , you're going to be like , I guess I just think I'm going to go down the rabbit hole on her now , too . Yeah , I think her work ethic , I really and just her goofiness and like how much fun she has is really like aspirational . I mean , she's really good . Meg de Dubbs says ask questions about Pawnees bachelorette experience . Okay . Did you ever see the video ? I did a fake Bachelorette video . Yes . OK . Does she want like a dancer ? Does she want me to ask ? I don't know . It's actually I ever really think of you like because you did you did like a thing on Bachelor Bachelorette where you were The Bachelorette and you're like , totally thought everything was going well with a guy who clearly was not into it . But yeah , tell me . I don't I didn't know if there's something other another experience she was talking about . I thought that's what it was . But yeah , exactly . We didn't . OK . Well , I worked with Comedy Central for like nine months . I was a part of a program and we were supposed to move to New York , but then Covid had . So then instead we got to go to a house in Palm Springs for a week and work on like a bunch of material that we didn't get to make when we were there . And then they gave us like a day where we got to make our own stuff . And so I got like two hours and I got to like direct and make this little fake bachelorette thing . And it was so fun . And the boys were so good , like they were totally in on it . And I don't know , it was just so it was funny back or Instagram or both . I put clips of it on tech talk , but it's I think , a six minute video . So it's on my AGB . Oh , OK . That's verra I want to send people to watch it because it was so funny . It's I've been listening . I've gotten to me . Really ? Yeah . Just because I had so much access and it was the first time I was like , Karaman , stand there , sound like I just got to like direct everyone . And then big boys , you say this , I'm going to say this and they're going to do this , and then we're going to cut to this . And it was just so fun to be like everyone listens to me . Yeah , totally . Everyone listens to me . And I'm the star . So everyone has . That's a win win right there . Yeah , I have a question for you . I asked some of my guests this . If they are fans of the show , what would be your limo entrance ? Oh , God . Yeah , I think about this every time . I love watching the first episode . It's so it's so honest . And they try so hard to be not like they try to have this thing planned , but then they're so nervous that like it's so genuine . It is so genuine . I literally get to watch . I got to watch live as it's happening while eating popcorn and drinking tequila and . Incredible . Yeah . Dying , laughing . Yeah . No , I think I would just OK , like actually picturing myself . I would probably go out and I'd be like like so diving into it like I wear a little tweed skirt and like tiptoe over it and be like Pat , like it's so annoying . I think it's what I do . You would just be yourself . It's not a noise . I would be like I would be like running my fingers . Like I'm being like , what do you think about like just being I be so annoying . I know it . Oh , I would like to see that . Okay . Classic coroner said , how do you feel if celebrities acknowledge one of your videos ? It's just like a little encouragement of being like , oh , cool . Someone else thinks believes in me . But I don't even know if that's the message or trying to say by showing my video . But I take it as they believe in me . That means I'm going to be OK . Absolutely . Who's the biggest celebrity , if they like commented on it , that you would like poop your pantaloons ? Brie Larson calls me and . Yeah , that feels really good . That's a nice one . Yeah , there's a bunch Jati first when he's like a little comedian , he's so he writes for big mouth . He's like really good and smart . So whenever he thinks that I did something funny , I'm like , oh really ? Yeah . But I was at Lena Headly one time that a very big shout out and it was really kind . Really ? Yeah . Shared your video . She was like posting my videos on her actual page . Wow . Yeah , it's really cool . That is cool . That's totally a confidence booster . Gosh , I would . Yeah , I mean , I still I just posted my when Jennifer Aniston responded to me about friends , I literally died inside and I'll never get over it . And she I said to her , are you . Yeah , but are you and Ross still together ? And she said , well , we're on a break . And I was like , look , look like complete . Yeah . Oh , my God . She's a big one . I just think about her this morning . I think about her every day . Well , I guess what I've been thinking about her the past three years . You're just one of me . And get it , OK . Jessi , the role , the overall , Therrell . Well , that was a tough one . How has your surgery impacted your mental health ? That was the question . I don't really know completely yet because I feel like I'm still adjusting . So much has changed in the past six months . Like I feel like I woke up in like a new girl's life . Kind of like dating is different . Everything feels different . So I don't really know . I know I'm still like kind of adjusting and comedy . Everything is changing right now . And but luckily , like I , I feel really good . So it's and no , nothing bad . The only thing bad is like it's not even bad yet , but like a lot of people have been like really encouraging on my weight loss , which is really sweet . But then I know I'll probably have a hard time if I ever gain one pound because I'm like , I was so encouraged when I was losing weight that I know if I ever go the opposite direction , it won't be when someone's ever so nice in one direction . It's like they're being so nice . But then at the same time , it's like making like little things in my head to be like , OK , we love when this happens . So God forbid the other thing happens . Right . You know , that's probably the only weird thing . But yeah , that makes a lot of sense , though . I feel really happy , though . Good . Love that . Yeah . And the Little Miss Hands said , what is your best audition story ? Oh , probably my first audition . This was like three years ago when I first moved to L.A. and I pretty quickly got with like a very great agency , and they knew I was new , but I think they didn't know how new I was . I truly like knew nothing . And so they were like , OK , you have an audition , blah , blah , blah . And then luckily I had a meeting at the agency that day . And so when I was there , I was like , OK , like , where do I go for the audition ? Like , is it here ? And they're like , what ? No , it's like at the place . And I was like , what the heck ? And so I went and it was like , on that I want to say like Universal Studios a lot . So I was like , so scared . Never been in . When I'm nervous , I get really bad , dry mouth . And so I walked in and it was like for like an actual like show , like a big one . And I like walked in and they told me I'm doing a bad job explaining story . But the only thing my agency , I was like , I don't know anything like walk me through it . They're like , all you have to do is like in the beginning , like , hi , my name's Courtney , would you like me to slate ? And slating is saying like your name height and where you are based . Yeah . And so I like walked in and I was like , the only thing I need to do is say that I knew my lines , but I was like , how would you like me to play ? And they just stared at me like there's no cameras . What ? And I was like , so what does that mean ? Do you want me to slate ? And they were like , there's no cameras . I was like , so do you want me to sleep ? And they were like , no , there's no cameras . And I was like , OK , got it . And then like , OK , go . And at this point , my mouth , like I couldn't say anything . And so I literally just looked at them and I was like , I'm so sorry , Angela . I know . I couldn't it wasn't even , like I said , the first line . And it came out so weird , like let's say the lines like , hi , how's it going ? I was like , hi . And like , I couldn't . It was just so bad . I knew they knew . I knew I was shaking like so obnoxiously , like , yeah , I left . I did call my agent and I was like , I don't think that I probably could . That's so , so funny . I used to audition for commercials in Vancouver when I lived there because my girlfriend was an agent and she would be like , I'm just going to send you to this . And I started trying to like get commercial gigs because a lot of commercials are filmed in Vancouver . And so many times I would just not go and be like , oh , that was great . And just because I was I was nervous and I wouldn't go into them because I or I'd walk in and everybody would look like me and it would freak me out and I'd just leave . I'd be like like because they're clearly going for a certain look and it worked out . And I would just leave and then she'd be like , how to go ? I'd be like , I was great , nailed it . I didn't get a callback and just never want to be like , oh , shoot , I wonder what happened with that one . That's so crazy . I was just I just got too nervous . It's so intimidating auditioning . I like it's people are just you're just I actually do . You know , Beth naked is by any chance . I don't . OK . She's Canadian and she was like a singer that kind of had like a big hit back in the day . And I auditioned for one of her music videos and I walked into a room and it was just this bright lit office with like her manager and a bunch of people sitting there behind one desk . And another girl walked in and I was on the same cheerleading team as her . And she walked in and we had to do the audition together . And they told me I had to push her up against the wall and kiss down her neck . And I was mortified . And I did it . I did it , and I committed to it . But I was like , I did a great honey . It was the best audition in my life . It was all gold . I only did two , but it was like so terrifying . And you're just sitting in this bright lit room , like with people staring at you and they're like , Kitco , like , so weird . No , that's crazy . That would throw me for a loop . I don't know . I think I would do really bad at that . I'd be like , no , marsudi . I wanted to just do what you did and walk out . But I was like felt so much pressure because the other girl was like , oh , these were friends . And I'm yeah . Yeah . And I just look at her the same after like , oh , sorry , you violated you . There's so and there's so like when the minute you like walk in , it really feels like an alternate world . It's just like so out of your control and you're just like you just want to please them . Yeah . You kind of just have to surrender to the process and just anything they want , you're like , I'll do anything weird except for that . And then you walk out and because you have dry mouth . Yeah , OK . I was wondering that because , you know , every podcast I get my guest to confess something to me . And I was like , I wonder if you have a funny audition one . But really that just . I guess so . Well , it kind of sucks , though , because for they held off on auditions for a little bit for me , because I was like so nervous and I had a really hard time , like just being myself . And so now I'm like at a point where they can put me in and . But now it's all self tapes . So it's not even they I'm sure once we go back to in person , I'll have like a million stories . But right now they're pretty boring . Well , do you have any confession ? Anything you want to confess ? Have a confession . They told me this was coming . And I actually I'm really happy because this is something bad that I did that I'm really excited to get off my chest . Yes , that's exactly what I'm looking for . Okay . I was in college and I was at the laundromat getting my laundry done and I was in my car and I was backing out and these two girls were next to my car . And I'm actually so scared of actually getting in trouble for this . I'm sure I'm like felt like I hit something , but I was like , no , I think if I hit like I ran those two girls over and I was like , no , I'm getting I was like , oh , my God . No , I didn't hit the girls , but I felt like I hit something . And then I like my windows rolled down and I was like , I didn't hear anything . And the girls are still talking . Like I feel like if I hit something , they would have like looked or something . And I think I know deep down I knew the real situation . But and I kept driving home and then I like walked out of my car and I just like looked at it and there was so much paint on my car . And I knew I hit the car behind me . And then I felt I felt so bad . And so I went back to the laundromat and I was going to tell them , tell the person , but the car was gone . So then I went home . And then there happened to be like a bunch of police cars by my house at this point or something else . But I like I like was on the couch . I couldn't move for hours . So , yeah , I did a hit and run and and I was about four years ago . I do think about it still . So I'm really glad you felt safe enough to tell us all that , because we're here to say it's OK and nobody got hurt . Nobody got hurt . And if you happen to be the person at the laundromat and out of nowhere , the back left corner of your car was hit . I'm happy to fix it now . Oh , my God . Could you imagine if if somebody really if they like listened to this podcast and they were like , that was that was me . I , too , have been thinking about it for the last four years . And what really struck me times that people randomly with bikes just trying to get their cars or like actual issues with their car , but they're like also fix that , if I'd say that . Well , no , don't take it with me . Don't say what color pain it is , and then we'll let them if they get it wrong , then , you know , you can't fix their car for them . OK , cool . OK , so I have a quick game before I let you go . It's the five second rule . I'm going to test your wittiness quickness . I start throwing it up . Oh , OK . So let's get it . OK , so in five seconds . Oh , this is my timer . Name three famous Michaels . Michael Jackson . Michael Michael J . Fox . Michael , Michael , Michael , Michael , Mike Golam . I wouldn't say I'm a real quake . That was really close . Did I say Michael Jackson ? You did . He's like Michael Jackson , Michael J . Fox , Michael . Even Foxes . Oh , I'm looking it up now , and now I do know who he is . OK , ready . Name three famous Jennifer's Jennifer Aniston , Jennifer Lawrence , Jennifer and Jennifer and and Jen . Shit , Jennifer . Jennifer , you're given million . Oh , my God , Jennifer Coolidge . Oh , God . Did you watch the White Lotus ? Oh , yeah . Did you ? Yeah , I just finished it today . Holy shit . That's such a good series . And I was just like , I'm so sad . It's over . I keep hearing the dmae the music really elevated that show so much . And Jennifer Coolidge is a G like every move , like she even went in for that make out . I was just like that is exactly how that heritor would make out . Like she embodied that so well . I like I feel like that's her in real life because she just played it so well . Like I was like , you didn't even feel like she was acting . It was incredible . I'm obsessed with her . Oh , Jennifer . Cool and like the constant confusion . Oh , she's so good . And her just her vulnerability . And it makes me so happy when she's crying and she's like , I'm a dead end . I was like , we all feel that way . You're like , me , too . Named three ways to hide a fart . OK , no , I'm actually so good at this . Walking can turn into a group does . That's always a good one . You know , spread your butt cheeks because it doesn't make any noise . And if you like , twist in your chair that , OK , I'm actually so good at this . That was really good . I love a good fart , Wolf , when you're just like , I got to go over here for something . Well , I can't hold it . This is too much . But I just can't hold my first words , my stomach real bad . So now I really am good at getting those things out . Yeah , that's it . That's why you nailed that question . You're like I know from personal experience . Yeah , that's hilarious . OK , last one . Name three smells that make you gag gag . Yeah . No , I'm like , I don't get it . It's actually a weird thing I can't do , I can't wear a bad smells . Maybe the five seconds is up . I'm giving you one more . Well , actually , I can't stand when I can tell someone's eating beef in their breath like hungry breath . That's actually so disgusting . Yeah , OK , that's fair . Yeah , that's I can't be breath for the win . That's like it's kind of like I won't be able to really talk to them for like a little while after that . Like a few weeks . It really three , three to five business days . Oh , that actually makes me uncomfy now . And now I'm going to look out for beef breath . Yeah . And it's like , hi . Oh , I'm sorry . Oh , it's hot . Sit . OK , that would definitely make me go . OK . Last one , I promise . Name three excuses to give when you don't want to do something . Oh my God . At work sick . I was just came cause I was going from Covid all day . That's a good one . Oh , that's good . Yeah , I have to get tested . I think are people because you people can't be can't like go over that , you know , they can't be mad at that either . They'd be like , oh , yeah , do that , do they ? OK , well , that was my game . Did you enjoy it ? And you enjoyed the podcast today ? Oh , my God . I had so much fun . This was such a nice conversation . OK , good . Because I really had a good time with you . And I'm I'm just already sad that it's over . If you had the option not to ask me to be on it like you go back in time , would you still ask ? Yeah , I would . I would still ask you to be on it . Oh , God . Thank God . Yeah . Yeah . But that but I would go back and ask for two hours of your time and said one day I'm like , yeah , no , actually we have to head out here . Yeah . Like I got a heart out . No , I got to go get tested . Amazing . Oh , my gosh . Thank you so much . I mean , I think everybody knows , but tell everybody where they can find you . OK . My handle and everything is average fashion blogger . I will be honest . I don't post too much fashion stuff anymore , but I'm just having a good time . It was so fun . I absolutely love following you . You're one of my favorite people to follow on the Internet , so thank you for always making us laugh . Well , thank you . And thank you for letting this friendship happen . Yeah . You know what ? She is to be thanked for that . So I'm going to send her flowers from us . Oh , OK . Can I ? I want to pitch in , OK ? Well , you can just tell me what to write on the way . How much money are you making ? Forevers . OK , I'll give this one . You'll get the next one . But you just have to tell me what to write on the card . Hi , sweetie pie . The girls , the girls are hanging and the girls are loving you . Thanks for leaving us . Yeah , that's perfect . OK , I'll write that down . Yeah , OK . Thanks for asking me to do this any time . You're always welcome on the podcast . And if we're ever in the same city , we're definitely hanging out or hanging out . And if I ever come to Nashville for my show , you're front and center . Yes , front and center . Oh , my gosh . I would be I have a really loud , obnoxious laugh , but I feel like it makes people laugh , too . So perfect . OK , I always love sit in front comedy shows . And you can pick on me . OK , everybody , I'll have like a whole roast . I said perfect . But I'm like , wait . No , I didn't mean it like this . No , I did . Okay , perfect . Perfect . I love it . Thank you so much . And I will probably DM you after this . Yeah . Okay . Thank you . Okay . Talk to you later . Bye bye . I'm feeling better , so I'll see you next Tuesday . Thanks for listening to Off the Line with Caitlin Bristo . Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast one dot com , the podcast , one app and subscribe on Apple podcast . Oh , Vinos , it's me asking again , if you rent your own home . I'm sure you do , and I bet it can be hard work , but you know , it's easy bandolim policies with Geico . Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance along with your auto policy , which thank God , because you have so much to do around your home . Go to Geico dot com , get a quote and see how much you could save its GEICO easy visit GEICO dot com today . That's Geico dot com .
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