Transcript
Here is on a mission to help people drink more water by making it taste great. Hint taste so good that people start thinking of water as a treat rather than an obligation, and that's exactly what it's become in my household. Jackson's going on a beach vacation this weekend, and he was like, Mom, will you please get me so I can take it in dad's truck? You can find him water at retail stores like Walmart, Target and Kroger, or have it delivered directly to your door from Sweetwater. JD.com new customers can get him for just $1 a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's thirty six bottles for thirty six dollars and free shipping. Just use the code Southern Tea at checkout. Maybe I'm just like weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the southern tea with Lindsie Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and in all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning non-functioning human being right now. I'm joined Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea is the tea. Here's Lindsey. Good morning, and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. It is for sure. Morning and I am feeling it. Good morning, Kristen. Good morning, linsey. We are back in the swing of school and today was like my first day of waking up with him because we'll has him on Mondays and Tuesdays and I have him on Wednesdays and Thursdays. But I went with them on the first day of school and then took him to school this morning. And man, did the morning come early. I'm sure I feel like the first week of school from everything I hear from all of my mom friends is like, Hell, actually. Well, here's the thing. It's the same crap that I was talking about when school ended, how I was like, so sick of carpool and so sick of doing the same hoopla up at that school and people acting like they just got their driver's license going through carpool on those last couple of weeks, like people acted like it was brand new, like they had never done it before. And it's like, come on, like, we've been doing this for the whole year. Some of you have been doing this for multiple years at this same exact school, so I'm confused what the holdup is this morning. Carpool was absolutely atrocious, but what I will say is I'm really glad that they got an actual police officer directing traffic instead of just like a crossing guard because that lady scared the s**t out of me. When I tell you, like not only scared the s**t out of me, but also scared the s**t out of my ex-husband and every other person that I'm friends with at the school. Like, have you ever encountered like a crossing guard or something that is giving you all of these hand motions and you feel like it's probably in your best interest not to watch what they're doing because they're going to cause you to crash? Um, I've actually physically had a crossing guard jump out and slam on my car before, so they do terrify me and I avoid school zones at all costs. OK, well, this lady, she acts like you're supposed to be like creeping when she starts her hand gestures and you don't know who she's going to start gesturing to because like, I'm on a crossing guard, so I don't know what the protocol is. So I don't know if she's going to like, come for me or if she's going to go for somebody else. So I'm in full blown break and she gets really aggravated when you're not going like fast when she starts motioning, but you're supposed to go. You can't go more than twenty five miles an hour at school, and I'm almost pretty much Am Park like, I don't want to make any mess ups are like, tick her off. So I'm really glad to see that like, we have a new guy there this year, and I just feel like it will make mornings go smoother. Sure, as s**t as I say this, I'll go there tomorrow and she'll be back and I'll have to retract every bit of these statements. It sounds like a blast that I'm very glad I'm not a part of. OK. On top of that, though, I have had a wild, let's say like 12 hours because this started right before I went to sleep and then I woke up, got Jackson to school and then had a phone call about this same thing. And no one I wanted to know when you were growing up, did you have trailers at the school trailers for like what? Specifically, you know, like classrooms. Like only when I had schools that were under construction did I have that like we would have like the modelers or whatever they would call them. And then when I went to high school, they had trailers that was for what they called twilight, which was for troubled teens that got too much out of school suspension and they got sent to Twilight Way. So the kids that were like the troubled teens were. And like general population at the school. Eventually they pulled them like if they were fighting way too much and causing like crazy things, or if they were just doing wild a*s s**t at school, they would literally put them in their own cla*s. And it was called Twilight, and it had entirely different hours than our regular school did. Very much a stigma attached to Twilight. I would say, OK, so we had a school, we had a school like that in our county. And I think a lot of counties like around here have schools like that, but they are separate from the other schools. So like it's its own school and kids that have trouble and like a general classroom setting or have caused any fights or like gotten asked too many times, whatever they go to this other school. And you never see those kids. So I think that's interesting that it was like on the same campus as all. And not completely separate, but you still never saw them because I think their hours were so polar opposite of ours. It's like, what were they doing, Ben Knight Riders like I saw. I can't remember what the hell their schedule was, but I do believe they came in like in the afternoon and went to like the evening kind of situation. Um yeah, I just I that's what I remember. But as far as like trailers for classrooms like regular classrooms, no, we did not have that. OK, so I don't know if it's because of growth or not, but there are multiple trailers or what would look kind of like modular homes like split in two. So it's basically like a classroom on one side and a classroom on another, and it shares a porch thing like where the kids walk up in and it splits. Yeah. So this is the first year that Jackson's going to start switching classes, and I want to know from other parents who are listening, what age should your kids start changing classes? Because I know a lot of surrounding counties don't start doing it until fifth grade to transition them for middle school. But this year, Jackson has two teachers and he's and one classroom for part of the day. And then I think it's like after a lunch or something, he goes to this other classroom and there has been this big stink with all of these parents about having these trailers and the safety of them for multiple reasons. Allegedly, they were like mold infested, and they did pass like an air quality test, but they use the the same Vasey system as something else. So now they're like worried that if there's mold there or there was like pre-existing mold that it could like penetrate somewhere else. So they're complaining about how these trailers need to be checked again in three to six months and then the lack of security with these trailers. Also, the fact that the kids have to buzz in to be able to get back into the school if they want to use the bathroom. Allegedly, parents have addressed this, and these fourth graders are on a two bathroom break policy a day, and the only time they can go to the bathroom from these trailers is in true emergent situations, and they operate off of the buddy system and they're given like a key fob to be able to get into the main building. But they go unsupervised from the trailer to the main building. There are multiple like driveways, areas of access to be able to get to these, and parents are literally absolutely losing their s**t and. Following this, like on Facebook. So you run Facebook groups or is popping off and you're out here just like eating your popcorn, scrolling the comments like, Oh, this is the best reality TV. Oh yeah. I'm like, I wish that this was actual like video format so that I could watch this like all go down and I'm not commenting, right? So like, I'm just scrolling and reading and whatever, and I just can't believe the amount of volume and comments. I can understand the concern and I also am concerned. But I just could never imagine going to Facebook and like typing all of this stuff out. I would just go to administration and like, ask them what's going on? Well, so what? It's like wild that you're saying this and that parents are having a s**t said about it because I fully understand why they would. There's so many pieces to this that I have s**t to say about. So the bathroom break policy, like I think that's like absolute B.S. Why are you dictating to kids when they can go to the bathroom? I don't know. I have two polar opposite opinions about this, and both remain true. One, I feel like I remember what it was like being in school and definitely using the bathroom as a reason to get out of cla*s. Yes. So while I understand and sympathize with the teachers trying to eliminate some of that, I also sympathize with the student that, you know, there's been plenty of times I don't go to the bathroom on the same schedule every single day. So what if I just happen to need to take a dump or like take a piss like after lunch? And I can't go because I've exercised my two bathroom breaks like also to me, I can hold it for just only two bathroom breaks and a full day. That, to me, just seems like a little extreme, but I understand what they're trying to do to eliminate the traffic from the trailers to the school. I don't know if that's the same policy for the kids inside the school or not, but then I also was told, and again, allegedly because I haven't done any research on any of this stuff, and I also haven't called to ask. But supposedly there are classrooms on the fourth grade hall that have all the proper security that are being used for resource rooms. Instead of the teachers who need the classrooms to be able to use those, they've been outsourced to the trailers, which makes their sense. That should be reversed. That's number one. Number two, when? OK, so you said that in your school district, you don't start switching to like fifth grade, although in other surrounding school districts, it's fifth grade, but in ours it's fourth. I don't know about the whole county, but I know our school like Jackson goes to his homeroom and he has her for like language arts and reading, and then like he goes to specials with that teacher. And I think lunch with that teacher and recess. And then after that, he goes to a second block and then he has math, social studies and science and then like day over. The southern tea is brought to you by better health. All right, Lindsay, it's been a while since we caught up on our mental health journey and therapy journey, so I just don't know how it's going for you. It's going really well. Actually, I wanted to have an additional therapy session on Friday, but my schedule truly just did not allow. But when I tell you there is nothing better than the convenience of better help. It truly is the best way to do therapy. We've had so many listeners of the podcast write in and say that they are starting their therapy journey thanks to conversations we've all had on the show about our own journeys. And they're all saying that they're having great experiences with better help. And that makes me so happy to see because I think therapy was truly a life changing moment for me when I started and better what makes it so easy and so convenient to get the help that you're looking for? I also just love the fact that you can do virtual and you can be camera off if you don't want to leave when you see your face. And like, sometimes it's just not a great day for me and I want to be camera off and it's phenomenal. Absolutely. I mean, therapy for me is amazing. Whether you're trying to deal with decisions around your career or dealing with relationship staff, anything therapy can help you stay connected to what you really want while you're navigating life, so you can be able to feel like you can move forward with confidence and excitement. And it's easy. You saw a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. You can let therapy be your map with better help. You guys can visit better help.com/ southern tea today to get 10 percent off your first month. That's better help h e l p.com/ southern. Lindsey I have some family coming into town, so I'm getting my guest bedroom and guest bathroom ready for them, and I'm taking a page out of your book and stocking my guest bathroom with five products because I just love them so much. And you know that I love Ralph IV products. Literally, it is my travel products. I keep them in my little travel kit because it's five products, so I have everything that I need. It's my guest bathroom. We know that my nanny has what she would say. Borrow these products from me with no intention to ever return them. I also love that they're plant based, vegan and cruelty free. And, like I said, the five products. It's like everything that you need. They have a gel cleanser, acne treatment pads, spot on treatment, nighttime moisturizer and SPF hydrating lotion. And I wear SPF hydrating lotion all throughout the year, not just the summer months, and I'm a big advocate for that. Absolutely. I have been on my SPF game, so I've been loving the SPF hydrating lotion myself. We all know I always talk about the spot on treatment because it just gets rid of those pesky little like pop up pimples and blemishes so fast. And it's just like you just dab it on and you're good. I can never have enough of the clear away pads if you guys saw my stock of what I have in the clear away pads because I'm terrified to run out. It's just a great way, a quick way to cleanse and clear your skin when you're on the go. Lindsay and I absolutely love the RA five products you can get your own. You can use discount code Sothern seventy five roske five.com/ discount slash southern. Seventy five that's RA five.com/ discount slash southern. Seventy five RAAF f ivy.com/ discount slash southern seventy five. So I was watching in third grade. Really? Yeah, I was switching in third grade and I was only seven because I had started early. Like I, they wanted to hold me back a year because I moved from New Jersey to Pennsylvania and the cutoffs were different, but I tested. They wanted me to basically repeat first grade, but I was there was no reason for me to other than my age. So I started second grade when I was six and I tried. Yeah, it's not wild to think about. Yeah. Like, I don't think I started kindergarten until then. Yeah, that's kind of how it is now. So I started second grade when I was six and then turned seven, and then I was seven when I started third grade and then turned eight and we used to switch classes. But the way it was set up was that, like the entirety of second grade was all in one hallway. So like, that was easy. And like, so were our specials all in the same hallway. So like, you're going class to class to class, but like not having like a long distance to travel. So that's so funny that you say, like now it's not like 'til fourth or fifth. And I'm like, Wait, I was doing this in third grade, but I don't hate the switching class thing. I actually like that because I think it breaks up. You know, the teachers getting new kids, the kids are being exposed to someone else in a different possible teaching style. Maybe that teachers more versed to teach those subjects and the other teacher can forget, you know, they can specifically focus on the things that they need to focus on instead of spreading themselves so thin, trying to cover every subject. So I am very for the switching classes and giving them fourth fifth grade doing that before they go into middle school and they're switching for everything. So like I do like that, it's a progression. What I'm concerned about is truly a safety concern, right? So that's that was the next part of what I was going to say. So when I got to try to think of my elementary school, when I got to fifth grade, I was out in the modular buildings and they were called the modular. But it was literally so that was like trying to think were there when there were windows on it, but it was literally just like a long hallway. It was like a building that had a long hallway with the classrooms on either side. And then there was trying to think, was there a bathroom? There was about there were bathrooms in there, but only like the one in one end to get to the main building. You had to go outside the double doors to the front of the school was the way they made you go. So it was out the front, out the doors to the front of the school, walk this covered pathway to then get back into the main building. And I remember thinking when I was in fifth grade, like, somebody could just be out there like waiting to kidnap somebody. Well, and I responded back to one of these moms. I was like, First of all, I don't know what's going on, and we know that I am like anxiety, Allen. So if I really start thinking about something, yeah, then I can't stop and it will drive me nuts. So I've tried to just trust in God and be like, You know what? I have to trust these teachers. I have to trust the system. But at the same time, I'm like, OK, well, like, there could be a petto like sitting outside waiting for these kids to come, you know, because they have to kind of pass where the carpool lane would be. Yeah. So I'm like, Who's to say there's not somebody just like camped outside the school waiting for some of these kids that are using the buddy system to go to the bathroom? They also have a key fob with them. So who's to say that that person wouldn't be trying to get into the main building, which puts everybody else at risk as well? And how does the policy make sense that you have to if you drop off your kids lunch because somebody forgot lunch or something, you have to drop it off on a cart outside buzz in to the office and they come and pick it up from the cart. But we have kids out there without proper safety protocols going to and from the main building to these trailers. I don't know, like I just I don't feel comfortable with it. The mold issue kind of has me worried. I want to see an inspection report. At this point. I'm like, OK, well, my kid spending half the day on one of these things, like I would at least like to feel safe, or it at least be addressed. I'm trying to think I vaguely remember there was some type of crazy a*s like air quality slash mold situation and mile and truthful modular also. But I think back then they just really didn't care. I mean, I feel like these are things that we honestly should be caring about and completely. Other news, though, I need to ask on school days when you were growing up. What did breakfast look like for you? Cereal like maybe some waffles like I go and trying to think I think it was like mostly cereal, some fruit. I. I was never a breakfast person, so I did everything I could to get out of breakfast, OK? No one come for me when I say this breakfast is way better for dinner than it is for breakfast. I agree we used to do that all the time. What's for dinner? Breakfast? Awesome. That was like one of my favorite dinners growing up. Breakfast for dinner slaps so hard. OK, so at Will's, he cooks Jackson eggs and maybe some type of meat or something like that. And then milk or orange juice here, Jackson, I don't know why it's like this, but he's like breakfast. It dad sucks hot. What pastries, doughnuts, waffles, whatever. So this morning I fix him. I'm like, OK, well, I'm going to try to like, kind of meet in the middle because I don't want it to be like, so off balance that you go there and give him absolute hell whenever he's making you this gourmet in the morning, which totally respect will for like getting up scrambling eggs, making a piece of meat like love that for him. I don't know if you remember me telling you that will got really pissed off, because back when Jackson used to eat breakfast in the car on the way to school, Will would like boil him hard boiled eggs and he would go to, like, clean his car out and he would find the eggs like in the side compartment of the car. Oh my God. And I like, first of all, he's done on a protein diet. So like, why are we getting hard boiled eggs? But like, whatever? So this morning I fixed him. Chocolate chip egg goes to some blueberries and a yogurt and a glass of milk, and he's like, Breakfast is so good here. So he's like a cool food mom. And I forgot how good NGOs were, like also no income for me. For that, I had a little pull off of what was left as any other moms like, get the leftovers from your kids and you just like, eat it off the plate before you throw all of the s**t in the trash can. Because I do, I've watched all of my mom friends do that because typically what ends up happening is that the kids eat off the mom's plate if they eat whatever is left of the kids. I always do that and I'm like, OK, I could clearly like, make myself my own breakfast, but I really just like, don't care, too. So I had to pools off of an egg. So this morning that was left off of his plate and on a. So I'm doing pretty good what you feel like. That's insane that you think that that's like a quality breakfast. I mean, yeah, normally at this point of the day, I have been on my way to the gym and I'm having like my Ahwahnee and an IQ bar. But today that just like was not in the cards for me. Yeah, I get it. You're you're you're readjusting back to the school element. I know that you texted me about some follow ups that you wanted to do with me on here. So what are they? OK. So just wanted to get a little follow up about your requirements before marriage that you talked about before? What all did I say? Do we know there was a lot? There was definitely a lot of you didn't want to live together. You wanted, like I think you said, a month of celibacy before the wedding. Yeah, there was a lot of things. OK, so number one, the Living Together thing talked about this before this house very much feels like my safe place and everything upstairs we Jackson calls his upstairs the apartment. And it's funny because I'll hear him talking on his games with his friends and they're like, Where are you, bro? And he's like, Oh, I'm just in the apartment. He probably like, first of all, first of all, you don't have an apartment. Secondly, you're in a loft, sir. Third, if I hear the word bro one more time. I don't know at what point that started, but it just came out of the blue. And it's every other word, bro. Bro, I'm surprised. It's not bruh. I can't. And like, you will hear these kids talking on this phone like they have nine to five jobs, but really, they're playing Fortnite and hiding from their parents. Or you're like, you're hiding from me because I can clearly hear the entire conversation. L and I will be eavesdropping on that conversation hard. Like, Don't get me started. But anyway, the entire upstairs is basically like dedicated to Jackson's stuff, and everything down here is like either communal or mine. And I don't feel like my house would be big enough for our situation to like, do that. So I would have to move regardless. And I just I feel like I lived with Will before marriage. When we were in college and we lived together pretty much all through college, post-college, through engagement and then marriage to like nothing really changed. And while I think there's some benefits of that, I also feel like everything was just the same. So there was no separation between, like what marriage actually should be and what we were already doing. And I would just not do that again. Do you feel like that? And I'm genuinely curious because Corey and I lived together before we got married, too, and I don't. I feel like we would have been divorced immediately after marriage if we hadn't lived together before, they would have been getting what the hell was it called an annulment? That's how quick it would have happened because I just like, I'm the type of person who needs to know what the hell I'm getting into as far as like living situations, because I know like that can be so stressful. Kristen, guess what, I was requested to fill Jackson's water bottle with This Morning for school, and he absolutely asked you for the hint water, especially after the picture that you sent of him walking around carrying U.S. water. He's obsessed. He truly is obsessed, and he loves a great bamboozle. He learned from the best and he's like, Look, it's clear it looks just like regular water. It just tastes better and no one will ever know. The only thing is is that it does, like, have a beautiful fruit smell whenever you open it up, but it's clear, so we're in the clear. Honestly, it's literally one of the best things that has come into my life because I can't stand plain water. It's a drag. A lot of people in my friend group say the same thing. We're none of us are getting the adequate hydration that we need, so water is made that so much easier for us. I also love that there's no sugar, no diet sweeteners, zero calories because my friends and I are trying to be on, you know, better health journeys and it's fitting right in with our lifestyle. And there's more than 25 flavors. So I swear that there's a flavor for everybody. I actually love some of the mash ups like the blueberry lemon, the peach raspberry. The cherry is also great. It's one of my favorites. They have crisp apple, coconut and many more and is great for everyone in the family. So if you're a kid, a teen, a man or a woman, if you're healthy, someone trying to get healthy. If you're a new mom, a pregnant woman, woman trying to get pregnant, basically just ensure humans can't. Water is an obsession that is actually good for you. You can find him water at retail stores like Walmart, Target and Kroger, or have it delivered direct to your door from hot water JD.com. New customers can get hemp for just $1 a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles or thirty six dollars and free shipping. Just use the code Sothern at checkout. OK, Lindsay, I don't know if you saw in the Facebook group, but there was a whole thread going on of so many people looking for jobs that they could do remotely. Remote work obviously has become so popular and I immediately told them to go look on indeed, because you're able to search jobs and like categorize them for remote and it is just like the literally the best place to find jobs. I did see that on Facebook, and I was wondering if you were going to say something about it. Indeed, we talk about it a lot, but it is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview and hire all in one place. So indeed, a powerful hiring platform that can help you do it all. They have streamlined hiring with powerful tools that will find you matched candidates. And with instant match, over 80 percent of employers get quality candidates whose resume on indeed matches their job description the moment they sponsor a job, and that is according to indeed data. I am still interviewing a few more candidates that I pulled from and did for my assistant job, and so far the interviews are going really, really well. So I'm going to have a hard time picking. But my previous assistant that I hired off of indeed was fabulous, and I expect nothing less, especially using the Instant Match feature. You know how much I love that, and I just also love that it's not me doing the hard work indeed is doing it for me. They show you the candidates whose resumes on indeed fit your description immediately after you post so you can hire faster. And they just like know how to match you with quality candidates easily. And I also love. This is the only job site where you only pay for applications that meet your requirements, so you're not wasting money on candidates who are not going to fit what you're looking for. Start hiring now with a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com Slash other A. Offer good for a limited time. Claim your $75 credit now at Indeed.com Slash 70 Indeed.com slash other A.. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need indeed. Do you feel like you guys living together before you were married contributed to your divorce or and that's why you want to do it opposite or like, what is the driving factor? My parents weren't an advocate for us living together. They regularly use the term shacking up, and Will's mom was not on board with that either. I don't know if his dad was necessarily on board or just tolerated or didn't give a s**t. But we never got any lip from him. But definitely it came from Will's mom and then my parents, for sure. They were like, We don't condone the shacking up. Like, that's not the way God intended. You shouldn't be doing this. And you know, people can also listen to this and say, OK, well, your parents didn't have a great track record with their own personal situation. So why would they be advising you? I think that's just what we do as parents like. When we've done something, then we know what comes along with doing that because that was a decision that we made. So we want to try to advise our kids against something that we would maybe change our mind about if we had to do it over again. I just think that it takes away a lot of the excitement and the newness and the settling in and the becoming one. I just wouldn't do it again. I would focus my time on premarital counseling because that's something that I did not do, which I should have done when I got married to Will, and I would want it to be biblically based. That's very important to me, and I think figuring out all of those things through a counseling or a therapeutic setting vs. a knock down drag out because someone does laundry different than you. I just feel like you can reach a deeper level of understanding of someone going through the process. And that way, and I'm not saying it's wrong to live with someone before marriage or it's right. I just wouldn't personally do it again. And I think you also have to consider in my situation if I got remarried and their children that are involved, I don't have a second chance to mess up again and not to say that, you know, I got a free pass the first time because I went through one divorce. If you go through two divorces, the problem's likely you now. There could be other factors that are playing into this, where things would be outside of your control. But two divorces, it's just like not something that I really want on my rap sheet. And so that's why I would do some of these things just completely different. And I feel like moving into a new place in a new marriage with kids and it being new for everyone and everyone having their own personal space within that space would be the way to do it. I mean, I feel like that's that's fair to like, and I think that's pretty normal to be like, I'm going to do everything opposite to see if I can get a different result. Because I mean, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different one. So I think for you, you're like, OK, obviously I'm not going to do the same s**t to make sure or try to make sure it doesn't end up in a divorce situation again. And would it make it easier, you know, time wise and, you know, trying to create fluid schedule and stuff like that for there to be a living together situation certainly like that would make things easier. But I'm not looking for an easy road. I'm looking for a right road. And I think that that is what I have to keep at the forefront. I don't want to do anything too fast or make any decisions that are too quick that I would have to regret by not fully thinking that situation through. And I just don't think that there's a reason their reasons for living together aren't big enough to live together. If that makes sense, like I can get to know what I need to know about Trent by spending time with him on the weekends and into the week, on the days that we don't have our kids vs. the time that we do have our kids. And I think it's super important when you've gone through divorce and there's kids involved and you're in a new relationship and everybody is trying to figure things out. I think it's super important for you to still have like you time with your kids and me, time with my child and us time together and then us time together with our kids. All of those situations are very important to me as well, and I don't want any of those things to be missed. I. Completely here, you're saying, I think that me looking at it from a perspective of me not having my own children and then thinking about having to, like build a situation with someone else's kids plus like my kids. None of that sounds like a fun time to me. So I think that I would probably be in the boat with Hale and just not date someone that has children. I feel like it has to make it harder. I think there's challenges that come along with any situation that you're going to be in post-divorce, whether it be somebody that has a child or children and can meet you at a level of understanding because you're also walking that same journey or on the opposite foot, somebody who does not have kids and does not understand really what you're going through because it's not a lived experience for them. There's going to be challenges regardless of the situation, because in my opinion, God did not intend for divorce to happen. So I just feel like that would be the right way for us to do it. And I always go back to this. If it's right, it's right. And if it's wrong, it's wrong. And it should be a progression, not a race. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think everyone's timeline is going to be different, and that's OK. And as far as celibacy, before marriage. My whole reasoning behind that is, you know, premarital sex. I mean, maybe I'm looking at this wrong and people might come for me for this. But we already know, like I've already been married before and I've dated other people and had sex before. So you know me not being sexually active in a relationship at thirty three years old when I've already been sexually active just does not really make sense to me. But at the same time, I do think that I would want a time period of celibacy leading into a marriage because I think that you just reach a deeper level of respect. And there there is something to truly look forward to. And I also think with celibacy comes OK. Are we more sexually compatible than we are emotionally or mentally compatible? Does that make sense? It does. Like I get, I get what you're saying, but I my question to you is, would it be, do you feel like it would be more beneficial to reverse that and like, make sure of that before there's even an engagement, an engagement sexually? Like no, before there's even like before you even get proposed. So like, wouldn't you want to know that up to that point not figuring that out a month before your actual wedding? You know what I mean? I mean, for sure, I think that that for sure is a conversation that would need to be had. Absolutely. I also am kind of like, you know, this is maybe like a more new age philosophy, but you know, you need to test drive it because if agree, you are not sexually compatible. Wouldn't that be horrible to like, get married and be and this government contract with somebody and then be like, OK, so we're compatible in all other areas, but not there. I mean, I'm going to say something that's going to be an unpopular opinion and people are going to come for me, and that's fine because it's again to each their own, in my opinion. The whole premise of like, save yourself for marriage is it's about the male's pleasure and nothing about the females. I think that's the mindset that that comes from. It's a very old school, in my opinion, because if you think about it, your first time is not great. Like, I mean, yeah, it's not a good time. It might be emotionally fulfilling, but physically most I would say. I'm sure there's like outliers here, but I would say nine out of 10 people didn't have a great time during physically during that experience. It's like awkward. You have to like, learn things, whatever. Totally understand that you want to do that with like a special person, obviously is like the goal. But like, if the sex is bad, only one of you are going to get off of the rest of your life. And I promise you, it's not the female side. That's very true. So my parents preach that old school mentality of saving yourself for marriage, and my dad has actually said he probably would have loosened the reins a little bit on that approach with his daughters. And maybe I wouldn't have been. In a situation that I was in any way, because Will was the first person that I was ever with. And I think because my parents preached that to me my entire life. Yeah, we did have sex before marriage, but because they preach that to me my entire life, I felt like there was no option at that point. I needed to make that an honest situation, and I needed to be married because we had already physically engaged with each other. Yeah. And like you and I have had conversations, the upbringing in my house was the same. I think yours was probably had more of a religious connotation. Mine did not. It was just like, You don't do this, and it was always, I found it interesting. It was always stress to me. Never did I overhear that conversation occurring with my brother. It was always to me. And I had sex for the first time when I was 17, almost 18 years old. And, you know, thought that I had to marry this kid and it was my parent's worst nightmare. So and it was a very I was torn because I'm like, you guys literally told me my whole life not to have sex before marriage will. Now I did. So like, now I have to marry this guy and you tell me you hate him. So like, what do you want me to do? I mean, I'm going to tell you that my parents had that same approach with my brothers. And then this different approach with myself and my sister, it was just you sustain from any sexual activity like you all get chlamydia and die. Yeah, yeah. And with my brothers, it was like, Use a rubber. I'm going to show you all of these horrific s news on Google, and I hope that this scares you enough to not need to use a rubber because you're terrified. But if you do do it, use a rubber. Right? And it was like forgiven. If they did. It's it's it's the double standard, and I hate that I hated it growing up. I hate it today where and I've actually literally won't care if I say this. I've asked for it if we have, if we have a girl. What's your stance on like female premarital sex? And this again, neither one of us practice like a religion, anything like that. And he's like, she's never having sex until she's like, eighty five. And I'm like, OK. And then I'm like, Well, what if we have a boy? He's like, I'm too high. Five him. No, you're not. No, you're not. And I'll have to hurt you because literally we are going to continue to do what our parents did. That we know didn't work impacted us in the ways that it impacted us. So like, no, in fact, we're not going to do that. So that's kind of like my whole spiel on their requirements before marriage. I see what you're saying in regards to maybe do that through an engagement process. Maybe it's also a conversation that would need to be had of why I was feeling that way. It wouldn't matter who I was with and who I was signing up to get married with. It's not even relevant to my current relationship, like this is just a big bird's eye view thought of, you know, I do want a period of celibacy ahead of marriage. Yeah. Support for today's episode comes from Jenny Kane. I am so excited I just passed my little cashmere hoodie sweater and I'm starting to prepare my outfits for fall and it's truly something that I cannot wait to wear. It's going to look so cute with leggings. It's going to look so cute with jeans. I love finding pieces that I can put in my closet and mix and match them. I've also regularly talked about the pajama sets that I have from them and their slippers. They have so many things on their website that I have a wish list for. If anybody wants to get me something. I have a wish list. I love that you guys actually have talked to me about Jenny Kane for quite some time now, so you guys convinced me to buy the slippers. They are the most comfortable things I've ever put on my feet, and I never want to take them off. You guys need to think about being a minimalist and that kind of effortless, minimalist look, but they have totally redefined that whole look and everything on their site. There's nothing on their site, truly that I would not like to have in my house, in my closet. I absolutely love that. I also love that Jenny Kane believes in the art of simplicity. They focus on comfort, quality and timeless design so you can carry a wardrobe that never goes out of style, and you can do that with minimal amounts of pieces. So when was you talking about being a minimalist? She has revamped her entire methodology of how her closet looks, and she's definitely going towards like more pieces she can combine with other things for a curated style without having a compact closet. Find your forever pieces at Jenny ComCom. Our listeners get 15 percent off your first order. When you use code 70, that's 15 percent off your first order. If you go to J E and I k a y any dot com promo code, Sothern T let getting dressed be one less thing to worry about. The other follow up is we need to know what trends opinion is on asking for your hand in marriage or a hand in marriage, we should say. I mean, I don't, I don't know. I have never asked him about that. I do know that it's a tricky situation with my parents being incarcerated. What would that even look like? How do you even approach that? How many visits would be appropriate to do that? Yeah. I mean, you don't just like, sign up and go to a weekend visit and be like, Hey, by the way, like, nice to meet you. I want to marry your daughter. Like, to me, that's not appropriate. So like, how would you handle that situation? I don't know. Like, I would love to hear from anybody who has ever walked that journey to know how that situation in itself would be handled. I would tend to believe that Trent's probably going to fall more on the traditional side. Yeah. Of asking for a hand in marriage. And I still don't have any answers on where that idea came from. Why it's commonplace to be like, you know, you have to ask the dad for the hand in marriage. Why is it not the parents? Why is it like just the dad? I don't really understand the whole concept, really. Yeah, we'll just have to look into it. One more marriage related question. You are about to be a bridesmaid in Heather's wedding over the weekend. So by the time this airs, you'll have already done it. What's that like after you getting married such a long time ago and not even having your own like wedding party? So like, are you feeling any type of way? What are your thoughts? I'm genuinely curious. OK, so number one, I'm not a girly girl. Contrary to what some people may believe, do I like to have my hair done? Yes. Do I have my nails done? Yes. Do I like to have cute clothes? Yes. Like makeup, whatever. But I am not like a girls girl where I want to like, do these girls trips. I want to hang out with a big group of girls all the time. I have like my select group of girlfriends and all of us collectively are. I don't want to say dude like because I don't think that that's the right way to say it. But how would you describe it? Y'all have the bro mentality. Yeah, it's it's a very bro mentality, but all pretty girly. So I don't like love girly things. I really don't like dresses that much. It's just it's a lot. But I would only sign up to be in someone's wedding that I was in full support of that relationship, if that makes sense because like weddings are big undertakings and like, you got to be committed to this process. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I made it super easy on my bridesmaids. Contrary to some people's opinions, I didn't. I didn't really want a bridal shower. I just don't like being the center of attention at all. It makes me very uncomfortable. So like, I didn't want a bridal shower didn't really care if I had a bachelorette party. I think it actually pissed off like a lot of my bridesmaids that I didn't care because I was like the first one to get married or one of the first ones to get married since I was twenty three. I just wasn't about it like I just was. I don't know. That's not me. So I was in a wedding. The last wedding that I was in was my college best friend, and I don't know if I ever told you this or not, but this was like the first re-engagement that Will and I had after I filed for divorce in Twenty Seventeen. And then for whatever reason, we felt like going to a wedding together for a wedding that I was in was like the right thing to do. And not that I regret having him there with me, but maybe like not the best thing to do when we were just in conversations of a reconciliation, if that makes sense, like putting yourself in a situation that's so happy. I feel like sometimes when you do that, you kind of like lose sight of what's actually going on in your real life because you're so invested in this happiness of these other people. Yet that wasn't wise. Like when I tell you, I literally filmed Chrisley Knows Best. The car picked me up from the last scene that I shot for the show drove me to the airport. Will drove from Atlanta, drove his truck from Atlanta to meet me at my college best friend's house and. Was like the first time we have seen each other and forever, and like that was the last wedding that I was in, so I don't know, like now I'm going to Heather's wedding and I'm bringing a date. So I don't know. I think it's going to be a good weekend. I just I feel like a bridesmaid, like, I'm just like there for Heather. Right, right. You're like, whatever you need. Just let me know. Yeah, I love that. OK, I need to ask you something. OK. This is the college football follow up because there was a ton of response from the college football conversation. Yes. And y'all, like it's almost here, like college football is almost here. And I was laughing with Trent, maybe two nights ago and we were talking about college football season and like when the weather gets colder and things to do with your kids and how you want to get them out of the house or whatever, I was like, Oh yeah, all that stuff has to take place before noon now because kick off is at noon and that's really the start of the day. So whatever activities like need to happen ahead of that need to happen between the times of 9:00 a.m. and 11:30. I so I told Corey when we were driving down to our vacation, I said, Oh, by the way, Lindsay was talking to me about college football and I'm Clemson and everyone told like she told me the line Clemson. So I'm Clemson and I'm getting the crock pot recipes pinned on my Pinterest and everyone to be showered by 12:00. And I'm telling them the whole thing, right? And I'm like, This is happening. And he looked at me and he was like, You're not Clemson, you can't be Clemson. And I was like, Sorry, Lindsey told me, Um, Clemson, so I'm Clemson, and you're a f**king front runner if you pick Clemson, blah blah blah blah blah. So we in fact talk to you when you were in Mexico and we were driving. And he told you, you guys were bickering back and forth. I can't be Clemson. And I was like, Well, I am Clemson, but I guess I have to pick a second to, like, appease him too, because marriage. And I'm like some Clemson and who else? And then I'm reading through people submitting stuff up to the Southern Tea Group and they're like, Christian, go Penn State, like you're an idiot. And then I remembered I went to Penn State. I did their road campus thing, completely forgot that they even had a football team in my adulthood. Like I used to have Penn State s**t my whole childhood and teenage years. How do you just forget that totally rock? They have to be like, Wow, you're like, no one gives a s**t up here about football, and everyone's like, Go Penn State. So I'm going to have to be Penn State and Clemson, which I think is OK because I think they're in different conferences, right? Yeah. But here's the thing we are a Clemson crew and like, even if we have to ride this on the DL, it's OK. Like you might be wearing a Clemson t shirt. And when Corey comes in the room, you're sketchily throwing on a hoodie. But like, you are really riding hard for Clemson. And I will tell you the first time that I have ever and I said this a couple of episodes ago when we talked about this, I bought a Georgia Bulldogs t shirt. I need to update you guys that I've worn the Georgia Bulldogs t shirt twice. Probably makes Trent very proud. I wouldn't ride for anybody like that, but him. Mm. And so that's how I know it's serious. I like that. Well, OK. So did you wear it out or did you wear in the house? OK, so it was supposed to be an inside t shirt. How we talked about that, and I was like, I bought a medium because that'll keep it inside and I'll just like weird around the house. No one needs to know. And I brought that shirt to his house and didn't have any other t shirts and we were going somewhere. So unfortunately, I had to wear that shirt to where we were going. But now I'm kind of like, OK, like, it's it's OK. You know what? If he loves it, I can love it, too. I'll say Go dogs. It's like mega morones song Tennessee and Tennessee Orange. Like, I'll wear Georgia Bulldogs red for him. There you go. But I told I told Corey, It's not gonna be on the deal. I said, I am Clemson because Lindsey said, I'm Clemson, so I'm Clemson, and then I'll drop Penn State because I'm just an idiot and it's fine. And he was just calling me a frontrunner and I was like, You're just mad because you don't have a team. Yeah. You just listen. By the end of the season, he'll be wearing Clemson shirt, too. I cannot wait when I tell you I may be posting so many crock pot recipes through the fall, y'all just wait like they're going to be some good ones, too. I've already started getting my line up together, what I'm going to cook, what I'm going to try, and y'all are going to try it too. Because like, you're obviously going to make these recipes and they're going to be frickin slapping. So are we going to make the same stuff? Are we going to make different stuff? Well, I don't know. I don't know yet. Like, I guess we'll find out when Saturdays start rolling around if we're on the same vibe or if we're on a different vibe. Another thing that I'm going to say on this is I'm very proud that my son is so loyal to me that he rides for Clemson and he says we're a Clemson home. And on his little back to school, you know, like how they do this like little posters or whatever. Yeah, OK. So for his favorite color, he put orange and that's my favorite color. And like, nobody's favorite color is orange. No, no. That's not like nobody likes the orange skittles. No one likes. That is a very unique situation, right? I love that he's a little writer. I also think it's funny that you told Corey you were going to call Mount about the not letting me be Clemson and like, we're going to be Clemson anyway. And then I did, because I'm a woman of my word. Amen. But I'm excited. I'm very excited to be a new found college football fan. I can't wait. Let's, you know, someone needs to tell me, like when this s**t starts, oh, it's coming like it's on the horizon. I will give you guys an update on how many days and we'll start doing a countdown, but it is on the horizon. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Now get 20 percent off every IQ bar product, plus free shipping when you text T to sixty four thousand. Kristen, I'm about to leave this house and go to my nail appointment, and you better bet that not only do I have a brand new large box of IQ bar so I can make sure that I don't run out. I will be eating one on the way. I love that for you. I actually just had one for breakfast before we sat down to podcast today because it's just the easiest thing to grab. And it it's got all of the things that I need. So it's packed with brain nutrients, plant protein, fiber and always next to no sugar or net carbs. So super clean label and delicious, so fits right in with the healthy lifestyle I'm trying to achieve, and it tastes good. I also love that I Cuba does not discriminate no matter who your diet. So if you're keto, vegan, paleo, gluten, soy GMO free IQ bar is perfect and a delicious fit, and it's holistic and natural. So it's made with real food, not chemicals, and they have a lot of different flavors. So seven different mouthwatering flavors I know. Didn't you say that you like the toasted coconut chip? I do. I also love the chocolate sea salt. I love the peanut butter chip and the banana nuts. Great as well, and it's great for like a grab and go breakfast. For me, it's going to be my grab and go lunch, pre or post-workout snack. That's truly why IQ Bar is the number one brain and body protein bar in the U.S.. With over ten thousand five star reviews and hundreds of thousands of happy customers, you can create the feeling of finally discovering a truly nutritious bar that actually tastes good. You can now get 20 percent off all IQ bar products, plus get free shipping to get your 20 percent off. Just text to sixty four thousand. Get your discount text to sixty four thousand. That's tea to sixty four thousand. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Can you tell me about the video that you saw about respecting your partner's fighting style? Yes, I believe it was Jay Shetty who was talking about his, his and his white wives relationship. And let me back up, hold on. I said, wives, but it's wife's or whatever. It's not. I'm not saying has multiple wives. I'm saying he. It's his wife and his person on the fighting. Let's just clarify that right now. I'm not starting rumors. He was talking about how you have to respect your partner's fighting style because he used to feel like she didn't care as much as he cared because her fighting style would be that she needed space and she would close off and she would like go into a different room where he wanted to like, Nope, let's talk about this. Let's fix it right now. And like, he felt like that meant that he cared more than she did. But in reality, it was just that they had two different fighting styles and that you have to respect that in your partner. And I could not agree more because this is Corey and I. I went like it through therapy. I've learned that like when people are confronted or they're having a fight or they're stressed, like there's actually like three things that can happen either fight or flight or freeze. Mm-Hmm. I am always flight, and it comes from stuff in my childhood and blah blah blah, whatever. So I'm always flight, so I used to literally get in my car and leave. It didn't matter where we were, we could be at a family function. We could be at home. It didn't matter. I was getting in my car and I was driving. Fun fact. I got pissed off at Cory on our wedding night and left, not the wedding night. Yeah, I got pissed off because Corey had a little too much to drink and he invited a bunch of our friends back to our hotel room after the after party. And it was like, Ladies, hell, like, I'm tired. I've been up for forever. Whatever he had too much to drink. He was passed out. I had all these people wasted an hour in our suite and it was just way too much for me. So I got pissed off and I took my dog and I jumped in the car and I tried to leave and all of his friends stopped me from leaving. They were like, You literally can't leave him on your wedding night. And I was like, No, I literally can't. So again, that was a perfect example of my flight response. Um, through therapy, my therapist was like, Listen, like, not great to just like, get in your car and leave. It can seem super dismissive and blah blah blah. She's like, Go into a different room, speak and say, like, I need time and go into a different room. And then like that needs to be respected where Corey is very much like the chaser, where he's like, No, we have to figure this out right now and add it. And I'm like, I can't even process. I'm like, I'm going to say things that I don't want to say or even really mean. If you force me, it's kind of like a caged animal, right? Like you backed them into a corner and they're going to lash out. Well, I feel like learning someone's fighting style is as important as knowing their love language, because if you don't know how to fairly fight. First of all, we should not even be normalizing fighting in the first place. But if you're going to fight because we all do, you should definitely know how to fairly fight with your partner. I think. OK, so not even necessarily just for fighting like it could happen to me just in a disagreement. Like, I'm not talking like a knockdown drag out fight. I'm talking like if I need time to process. My immediate reaction is to go somewhere by myself. I think I don't know because I think it's situational for me. Same thing with like the love languages. I think that that can be very situational depending upon the situation that's at hand. So if I've had enough and I've gotten my belly full, then I'm probably just going to say stuff that I probably should not be saying. And then it's going to turn into a fight if I've been given time to process because it does take me a bit of time to process stuff. I will straight up go ghost. Yeah, like I need. I just need the time. And Corey felt like exactly how Jay was describing that. I didn't care. And it's like, No, I care. And that's why I'm choosing to walk away and process before I lash out and say some dumb s**t. Yeah, because I think that really goes nowhere. A big thing for me, too, is once I have arrived, whatever I have concluded, I have to like, talk about it a lot to feel like I've been hurt. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like you overcommunicate at that point to feel like you've been hurt? Yeah, because I've sat for such a long period of time either. And like a ghost. Staying stay or in a pause stay or in a processing state that once I get to the point that I want to converse about it, then I'm going to overly communicate so that I'm going to drive that point home and so many different ways that there's no way that you did not understand it. OK, I see. OK, I get what you're saying. See, for me, I'm like a very good. I want to make sure that I get all my points out and Corey's a big interrupter. That's just like how it is. And I it's, you know, he has ADHD. So I think that's pretty common because he just needs to get what he needs to get out before he forgets what he's going to say. For me, I've learned to type everything out that I want to say in a note, and I will physically read it to him. Mm-Hmm. And I'm like, Please don't say anything until I'm finished speaking and I'll just like, read it. So like my whatever I'm saying has every point that I ever wanted to make in it. And then I'm done like once I say it, once I say my point. I'm basically over like whatever the situation is, OK, but I've also been told when I've done that before that I'm trying to control the situation by having a predetermined response or arriving to the situation with a predetermined statement. So I completely disagree with that. I think it's it is mindful. I think it is using your brain. Can I ask, who said that to you? You know who said that to me? OK, so not your therapist got it. I was like, No, I don't know. I I think that's bulls**t, and I think that it comes from a place of they can't put that much forethought. People who say that can't put that much forethought into something. And again, people's communication styles are different. There are people who are much better communicators we are writing than they are verbally. So if you need to write it out and it's it's not like you're scripting out the conversation, you're saying what you need to say in one big chunk and then you're letting them speak and then you're having a dialogue. I also think it depends on your partner and how you communicate with that specific person because your fighting style where it might be specific to you and to some people, it might be consistent with every relationship that you had. For me, I very much prefer having phone communication with Trent or in person communication than text. But that's also something that I've worked on through therapy to not bring things that I did in past relationships and something that I want to be healthy because I would very much resort to. I don't want to communicate, so I'm going to just communicate over text because I can choose to respond or I can choose to not to see. I hate texts, but because of Corey. Nice shift, you know, schedule issue. Sometimes there's things like if something needs to be immediately discussed. Unfortunately, that's kind of where it has to like start. And I'll just put my feelings out there and I'll be like, Let me know when you have time to actually talk in person about this. Is that not the worst, though, when you send such? Emotional text. Or attacks that bothers you so emotionally and then you have to wait for the response of the other person. I feel like that is torture, but I've become very comfortable with it because I have had to learn. I sent that message on my time. And that person has to respond on theirs that and for me, it became as I got older, it became more about me feeling good about the way I was communicating something and less about what the response was going to be. Mm-Hmm. So I think just also kind of comes with like age. I agree. I mean, I think that the older I get, the more that I love being older. Yeah. You're like, Why did I think this was a bad thing? Yeah. Like, I love it. Wait, I want to talk about this video that I sent you about doing things for yourself when you're constantly doing things or other. Yeah, it made me cry. Wait, you cried. I cried. Tell me why you cried. Well, because I'm one. That video spoke to my soul. I'm 1000 percent guilty of pouring every single thing that I have beyond empty into everybody else's cup around me and not having mine filled. I mean, I would tend to agree specifically for you. But this video was talking about state of depression because you're not doing anything for yourself and not you have to be able to do things to make yourself happy. And I think this is very relatable to parents. I'm constantly trying to think of things outside of like my working schedule and knowing the time that I have Jackson. I'm constantly trying to think of things that are going to make him happy, no matter how much chaos that it like causes for other things that I have going on. And I'll be like completely frazzled, trying to pull off like all of these things. And then it's almost like when he goes to Will's. I finally like, breathe for a second and I'm like, Wow, I didn't do anything like, not one thing for myself and the past five days. Yeah, I feel like that's super super common with parents is that you're just pouring everything you have into your kids. And I think that at first it's a slippery slope because I can speak from my experience that at first it seems fine and you're like, No, like, I'll take time it. It'll be for myself. It'll be fine. Let me just get this person through this and let me let me handle this and whatever. And then all of a sudden, if I have no time, will that and you find yourself in a deep, dark, deep dark hole could be weeks months years later, and you're like, I hate everything. And why do you have to sit there and think about like why? And everyone around you seems so happy and you're like, Well, that's because I'm pouring everything I have into everyone else. Like, I'm assisting in the happiness that they're experiencing. And I'm not doing the same for me. I think that we all have to be super mindful of this and to give ourself time. And I know that, you know, a lot of people say, Well, you know, I don't have time or finances for help or this or that. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying. Like, even if you're giving yourself 10 minutes of time dedicated to yourself and your bathroom, like plucking your brows, like, I don't know, that to me is very important. I give my time and my energy to places that I want to. But sometimes I give so much of myself that I have nothing of myself left to give myself. Yep, heard that. Support for today's episode comes from Honey Love. Lindsay, I know that you're going to that wedding this weekend and you're in and you were telling me that a bunch of the bridesmaids actually ordered things from honey love to wear under their dresses. And I promise you, they're going to be comfortable and they're not going to complain. So that's a win for everybody. Absolutely love it. Our dresses are kind of like a silky raw material, so I feel like you can kind of see everything. So there is nothing better than having the proper shapewear. So you look sleek and stunning. I actually was reading that honey love came out on top for Best Wedding Day shapewear, so anybody right now? I think everyone is in the midst of wedding season. If you're like us and getting the invites or you're in weddings or you're the one getting married? Definitely check honey love out. I promise you they are the most comfortable shapewear I have ever worn. They smooth you everywhere they sent you in. In the right places don't make you feel like you're suffocating and you just look great. And what I don't know about you, but when I feel like I look good, I feel better. Oh, I think that's everybody. When you look good, you do feel better. And with honey love, they have their revolutionized compression technology, so you don't feel like you're suffocating while wearing effective shapewear. And I think that's super important. You're going to immediately feel and see the difference. Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20 percent off at Honey Love.com/ southern teeth. Use our exclusive link to get 20 percent off Honey Love.com/ southern tea. So what's it like to be the mom of four little girls and the wife of an NFL quarterback? Well, it's absolute insanity in the best possible way, but you can hear that for yourself when you listen to my podcast The Morning After With Me, Kelly Stafford. And yes, Matthew joins. Sometimes, too it's parenting. It's marriage, it's friendships and it's football. It's our life. So check out the morning after with me, Kelly Stafford at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to your podcast. Outside of that, we had a lot of questions come up about the back into podcasting, and I had no idea that like this was even something that people were interested in, and I don't even know how to start going down that road to even talk about it. Yes. So I don't want to get into it too much here because I actually want people to say like whether or not where they want it to be talked about, whether it's on coffee combos with kale or with me or with all of us or whatever. There was just a lot of questions because, you know, someone posted in the Facebook group saying, like, they here, basically everybody collectively across the board of all of our shows talk about, you know, people don't really understand the difficulty of podcasting. And it's not just like sitting down and talking for an hour. So they said, like, I think a lot of us listeners would benefit from some insight on what does go on behind the scenes and what kind of work goes into making a podcast. I think it would be good content for you guys to explain all of that sometime on an episode. I mean, I would like for people to writing questions to make sure that we're touching on the things that people want to know about. But also I want people to understand when I see posts sometimes and people are like, Oh, well, you know, they're just going to get their nails done or they're just going to the gym or they're just podcasting for an hour or whatever. People don't realize the amount of time that we dedicate to these shows. Number one, number two, podcasting is an industry in itself. And I think that people don't understand really that. I also think that people minimize sometimes, and I don't want to say like collectively to everybody who's listening. But there are a select group of people who minimize what we're actually doing on a daily or weekly basis that people don't even understand. Like I work typically nine to five Monday through Friday. It's definitely I think part of it, too, is that it's never us. Don't discuss it because you feel like it takes away from like, I don't want to, like, be cheesy, but like essentially what people are showing up here for is the, you know, the things that you guys are talking about and the dynamic and stuff like that. But I think that all of you collectively probably think that discussing the back end is probably boring for most people because it's not relatable unless you're working in this industry, which is like such a massive growing industry in itself. But most of our listeners aren't involved in it. So sometimes there's things that don't get discussed because you guys don't want to look for them about stuff that's not relatable. Correct. And I would just want to know like and have a list of questions that people want answered because I want to make sure we're answering the right stuff. Yeah. So ask questions and say where you want to hear about it and who you want to be talking about it. And we'll make happen. Two things for a weekly devotional this week I saw this and a lot of times when I'm reading these things, it's because it's resonated with me in some way throughout the week and hopefully whenever I'm reading it, hopefully it resonates with you as well. The kind people are not born that way. They are made. They are the souls that have experience so much at the hands of life. They are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson. The kindness people do not just exist. They choose just often where circumstance has tried to harden them. They choose to believe in goodness because they have seen firsthand why compassion is so necessary. They have seen firsthand why tenderness is so important to this world. Yeah. And the other thing that I saw is I used to think God's love for me was in removing my pain. Now I know that God's love for me as in his promise that he'll be with me and my pain. And that is relevant to the last season of my life. Truly, like the last three years, that kind of reminds me of the footprints like thing, how it's like it was then that I carried you. Yes. Mm hmm. Yeah. Actually, my mom made me like, I'll I'll take a picture of it. She made me this thing because it was something that resonated with me really hard when my dad passed away. And I just felt completely alone. And that was my dad was not religious, but that was one that he absolutely loved. So I put that on the back of his memorial card. Mm-Hmm. So then she made me something, and that really reminds me of that because it's like it's kind of about like the walking with you, not the taking away of the hard times. I think that oftentimes we question God as believers or have. Have gone through a season of questioning of why like, why me, why is this happening to me and his promises that he's going to be with you during your pain and life's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it, and there's going to be lessons that are going to be hard along the way. And there's going to be experiences that you go through that are not ideal and they're going to be hard seasons of your life. But God's with you. And that's something that I have read so many times over the last couple of days. And I feel like a lot of times it's just like a positive affirmation of it's OK to be in a season of pain because God's with you and you're not alone. Yeah. And then I've got a weekly fee for you. Oh God. Speaking of God, this one says DNA tests destroyed my life. Oh no. Yup. You read that title, right? A DNA test result screwed up my life. You're probably wondering how a DNA test turned my life upside down. We'll get comfy, everyone, because this is going to be a bats**t crazy post I need to share to start. This all started when my older brother and his longtime girlfriend ended their relationship. It's important to the story because of how everything lined up her parents and I took the news like champs, but not my parents. My parents didn't comfort my brother and his broken heart. All they did was complain how this had ruined them and their chances of having grandchildren. They did tell them in person, and some fighting happened between my mother and I. This resulted in me leaving home and living with my brother in his apartment. That same night, I decided for me and my brother to take the DNA test that we received as gifts from my boyfriend's family. For context, before my brother and his girlfriend ended their relationship, I was busy taking care of our stroke disabled father for more than one year. I let my social and academic life suffer as a result of this. Also, when my brother and I were gifted the DNA test, my mother made a comment that only my brother should take it. She didn't want both of us to take it, which resulted in a crazy conspiracy that my biological father was a long time friend of my parents. Well, this past weekend we got the results of the test. Now, I know this whole thing seems chaotic by dropping in random info, but I have no idea how to structure this. The results shared that my brother and I are only half siblings. I was in shock. So was my brother. Deep down, I hope that my crazy conspiracy theory wasn't true, but sadly, that's life. My dad that I've been taking care of is not my biological father. My brother is my half sibling. The person who could be my biological father is dead, and my mother had all of this. OK? First of all, so sorry for this family and this chaos that transpired from the DNA test, but I cannot tell you the amount of stories that I have heard of people finding out crazy stuff through these new. I don't want to say their new DNA test because they've been around for years at this point, but like finding out that they're biologically not, they don't belong to who raised them or whatever. And they're finding like all of these relatives. Because you know how if you do these little kids, it'll give you the option to be able to connect with like relatives or whatever. Yeah, they're biologically finding out who their family is through these testing kits. Like, if I were someone who was like hiding something that was like DNA related, the minute that these tests started becoming publicly available, I would have had it out myself because like, chances are, you're going to get found out, oh, immediately actually knew somebody with a situation like this pretty personally. And I was like, Are you going to come clean about this or are you just going to ride your lie till you die? Like, which one is it going to be? Because in my opinion, I don't believe in? I don't know. I think it's the circumstance, right? But raising a child without them knowing the truth of like where they came from, I don't think that's the wisest decision because they're eventually going to have questions. You see all the time in adoption situations when kids turn 18 years old and they go to look for their biological parents because they want to know genetically like what they come from. It's like a natural curiosity, I feel like. And so I just think if I was in that situation, I would be honest from the forefront so that I wouldn't have to deal with some of the aftermath that eventually is going to come. Yeah, it's crazy. And I know that's gonna be so hard, especially when you find that out. And then the person you think could be the correct one is passed away. So that's going to be another added layer. Well, then, because if you know that the person is passed away and you don't have access to them at that point, I feel like that's just a total letdown like double let down, right, like you didn't know. Then you found out, then you still can't have answers. Right? So on that note, I am going to go and get my nails done so that I can start preparing for the wedding and then go get in the dreaded carpool line. So if you guys have not followed us on at this other A. podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us there. You can subscribe to the show from any podcast app wherever you get your podcasts and always first at podcast wine. I hope you guys have a great week, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye.
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