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The Southern Tea

Lindsie had an impromptu road trip with Nannie this weekend and shares the craziness that occured. We also revisit the question from last episode where Lindsie was asked about the best things she learned in 2022... one answer might surprise you! Kristen brings in some listener topics for today... how do you get over a friend breakup? And what are some green flags in relationships? Lindsie admits she is a major red flag on one of those points. Question for fellow waxers/shavers - do we grow out of waxing/shaving our coochies? Asking for a friend... specifically Lindsie.

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The Southern Tea
00:00:00 9/13/2023

Transcript

Maybe I'm just like weird, maybe I'm crunchy, this is the southern tea with Lindsie Chrisley, I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments all the back. I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea is the tea. Here's Lindsey. Good morning, and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. Good morning, Christine. Good morning, Lindsie Chrisley. Oh, is that explaining your morning? So far? So far? Yes, OK. I'm going to tell you what happened to me at the gym yesterday, and I need to know if this has ever happened to anyone else because this is not the first time that it has ever happened. OK, so on the days that I do not go to parties, I try to go to the gym during their regular week, Monday through Friday. That was one of these days. One of my parties instructors at my bloody studio also privately teaches at the gym that I go to. So I see her there. Like all the time, she's one of my favorite instructors and I guess we parked our cars side by side, which is the same car. So I walk out to my car, never see her there, right, like just walk out of my car, I'm sitting there and trying to do something on my phone before I put my car in reverse, and all of a sudden my driver door slings open. No, no. I don't know who was more scared if it was me or if it was her, because I think she thought someone was sitting in her car and I was wondering why somebody was breaking into mine while you were sitting there. Oh my god, no. And so I just wonder how often that actually happens. I will say that I have definitely gone up to cars and like been yanking on. It's usually the passenger door and I'm not paying attention. I'll just walk up to a car and I think it's mine and I'm yanking on the passenger door. And obviously, it's not mine. And the Coryell does crack up laughing at me. However, I do a funny story where my sister in law was leaving a store went into like, literally went up to a car and yanked the door open. And it was there was a driver in the car. So like me, literally, she did that to somebody else. And like, first of all, she was mortified, but she was so scared. And then she said the guy was like, very angry. And I'm like, It happened. Yes, that it's scary, but like, if it can happen, like I'm legit, not trying to break into your car like I have enough should have my all. I'm like, I'm not trying to steal anything that you have. Also, the last time I was at the gym, the gym parking lots, just rogue, like first of all. But the last time was there. Evidently, I forgot to lock my car and I came back and my, you know how like the sensor on the front of the car when you go to put it in reverse or like, tell you if there's like any doors open? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, someone is such a stupid stealer that they opened my passenger door to steal something out and I keep. We've talked about this before. I keep my car like very clean. So the only thing that they could potentially steal all are like possible microfiber towels. And there's quite literally nothing else in there other than like my thing to like, blow up my tires in the event that I get a flat or something like that. That's the only thing in there for them to steal. So I like looked around because I was like, OK, obviously there's been a f**ker in this car, so I'm like looking around. I watch too much true crime. So then I go to my trunk and I open it up because I'm like, OK, what if there's like somebody back here? So like, I open it up. Nobody's there. I go to get back in my car and I look at the truck that is backed in beside me, and he's just staring at everything I'm doing. So I'm like, OK, either you're a nosey f**ker and you're just curious as to what I'm doing, or you actually broke into my car. That's really scary or made it look like they did, because like, human trafficking is real and it is really a huge problem all over the country at this point. I don't know about you, but I don't know. It's just like a married thing. Corey doesn't even want me to leave my house without him, not even. And people are like, Oh, it's a control thing. No, he literally doesn't care where I go. He's just like, so sick and tired of seeing all these human trafficking TikToks and stories and things that pop up in our local like community Facebook group about people following them. And he's like, It's like, I don't want you going out. I don't want your mom going out, like he'll run to the grocery store and do all that kind of stuff like errands and whatever because he's like, I, it's too. It's too scary. Well, whenever I moved out on my own from my parents house, my nanny always told me she was like, You're so little, somebody else snatch you up. And so I've always kind of been like afraid or like leery to go out at night. But at some point in my marriage, I must have reached a level of I don't give a f**k and thought that I was invincible and nobody's going to steal a mom. So I just would go to like Kroger or Publix, like once I got Jackson to bed because it was like a more peaceful existence. Like I can go and he's not throwing a million things into the cart. And then I realized, OK, this could quite possibly be dangerous. And will his never been scared about anything like that at all? Like, that man has absolutely zero fear. Never was fearful about me doing anything, never fearful about me driving somewhere, going somewhere and nothing. I told Trent. When we first started talking, I was like, I sometimes go on like these walking trails by myself. Like, It's a nice way to like escape reality and just like not be on your phone and get some exercise. And it's in the elements and it's like nice and just peaceful. And he's like, Yeah, you don't need to be doing that by yourself. Like, that's not a thing. Like, you don't need to be doing that by yourself, and I would be scared knowing that you were doing this. It's so in. Saying how as you get older, I don't want to see you get more scared, I think you just again you become way more aware of it because I'm thinking about the dumb s**t that I used to do as a teenager. And I and I'm just like, If I, why was I not scared that I would get in a random, you know, guys cars with my friends and go, God, we had no idea we were going like or who was in the car like we had. We had no idea. That's not a thing like in this day and time, if you have children, they just know better. I feel like they are just raised and instinctually know better than to just get in anybody's car any time that Jackson has ever had someone like pick him up from school. That's not us. I always forewarn him when I drop him off like, Hey, you're not going to be looking for mommy's car, like, you're not going to be looking for daddy's truck. This is the person it's going to be picking you up. So sometimes it might be maybe like on a handful of occasions, it's been like the babysitter because I've been wrapped up in work obligations or maybe like Will's parents or something like that. He would freak out even if, like his own grandparents were sitting in carpool and it was not the car that he was expecting. See, that's so smart like stuff like that I was as a kid, I always we did the whole password thing and whatever. So like that? Very much same, but I don't know why I had. I had this period from probably like it was very short lived. It was probably from the age of like 16 17 to about, I don't know, twenty one early, twenty two, maybe. And I just was doing the dumbest dumb s**t. OK, well, I have an update outside of that craziness. I also had a nosebleed this morning, which I have not had in, probably since I was like 12. Oh, so we're both leading. Yeah, this just started pouring out of my nose, and I don't know if it's maybe like the weather changing or like allergy or stress. I have no idea what causes a nosebleed, but I just randomly had one. I'm not a person like gets nosebleeds just started pouring out of nowhere, and I just wonder like where it's coming from, like, I know that sounds so stupid. But so my mom had this happen. Not that long ago. She kept getting like crazy nosebleeds, and she's on blood thinners. So they were like would not stop to the point where I had to call an ambulance the one time because like she was like I was shoving tampons up both sides of her nose and they were soaking through in like less than two minutes. OK, mine wasn't that bad. Mine was like a Kleenex. So like, I obviously over. I know what you mean, but like, she's on blood thinners. So we went to the hospital and they actually said, like, it's very common for the inside of your nasal passages, like up higher and your sinuses themselves to actually get dried out. So they recommended her doing like a cool mist humidifier to add humidity. But they said, like allergies, if you're taking any medications for cold or allergy that, like, suck the stuff out of you, it could dry them out to the point where, like any little thing can make them crack or just like start bleeding hers. In her case, she had a tiny little blood vessel that was exposed, so they had to go in and like, cauterize it, and she hasn't had a problem since then. That's so and saying, OK, well, mine was just like a tissue amount. So obviously, like, wasn't that much. But just seeing the blood come from there is just like not a place that I normally see. Yeah, I just don't do good with blood altogether. And I was like, Oh, this is good. And this was right before I had to get on this Zoom meeting for Jackson's parent teacher conference. How Becca? And so I'm like, Oh, this is good. Like I, they're going to really realize what type of s**t show our households are because one Will's camera and Mike is completely off, and I don't believe that he's actually showing up. And number two, I'm just like holding this tissue to my nose and look like an absolute trainwreck. OK, Lindsay, you're going to be happy to know that I took a little hint from you. I religiously been taking my AG one every morning with breakfast and forcing myself to eat breakfast, and I'm just trying to form a habit because just like tired doing supplements and you were having such a good experience with AG one and made me want to try because you're feeling better. And I just want to feel healthy for one, so I'm just copying you again. Listen, this is such a hack, in my opinion, because every scoop of one is packed with 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics and whole food source ingredients that are high quality. It gives major benefits like gut and mood support, boost energy and even healthier looking skin, ear and nails. So you can't really go wrong. And it's so easy to incorporate in your daily routine, and it's delivered every month, so it's been really easy to make it a daily habit. And they also have. I don't know if you've tried this yet, but they also have this single serving add one travel packs. So we know if you've listened to me for a long time, you know that I am a big fan of travel packs, whether I'm traveling or not. And it truly makes it so easy that if you are traveling, you never miss a day. You just mix the powder into ice cold water and drink it first thing every morning, and that's really it. So if you guys want to take ownership of your health, you can try a one and get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five add one travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drink, add one dot com, slash other A. That's drink. Add one.com/ southern tea. Check it out. Listed below decks, Captain Lee, listen to my new podcast, Salty with Captain Lee. Don't you mean our podcast? Yeah, I guess I do anyhow. Listen to Soldi with Captain Lee, co-hosted by my assistant Sam, and we will be talking about the latest pop culture news and all the gossip every week. So does this mean we have to stop fire ourselves about ourselves, or at least have some guests on? No, I find myself pretty interesting, but yeah, we can have some guests on some of our reality TV friends and some stars. Works for me. Listen to Salty now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Update on that, didn't we talk about drugs and school stuff last week? Yes. OK. So I think at this point in time, kids have so many options in school that we did not have, like computer time. Like when you get finished early, you can like go do a center or you can go on the computer or free drawing or like whatever it may be. So for whatever reason, Jackson decides that he does not care for accuracy its completion. So he just wants to complete whatever it is, and he might be putting math on a language arts paper and turning that in because he's just written something on the paper. And that's it. It's kind of like, if you don't know the answer, we all circle C. Yeah, so like, that's what's been going on. So little does he know that when he gets home, he has multiple quizzes that he has to retake. And my theory on this is I don't want to be an enabling parent, right? Like, you have to walk a fine line of you don't want to give your kids too many options to make them feel like they have an out from something that they did wrong and they knowingly did wrong and put zero effort in. But at the same time, I think you have to handle your kids very differently if you have multiple children. You probably don't parent all of your kids the exact same way. And if Jackson has to be inconvenienced to do this same assignment, not once but twice, and he realizes that he's taking more time by actually having to redo it, then we won't have this problem in a couple of weeks. And I think that kids nowadays, they also think that parents know nothing like where we thought when we were growing up that we just naturally thought that our parents knew everything because they instilled the fear of God in us. And even if they didn't know anything, they hinted around in a direction that you thought that they knew everything. So you just did everything that you were supposed to do to try to prevent the wrath that you were going to get later. Yeah. So I'm not obviously not a parent, and this is where it gets interesting for me because the main method of discipline in my household was spanking completely controversial. I understand that the spanking instilled the fear of God into me. So out of that fear, I very rarely act it up until I was like late teens. So conditioning, right? Like, it's like I was conditioned to not do bad s**t. Did that, you know, leave me with some trauma and some some ways and whatever. Sure. Did I go to therapy, pay for it and deal with it? Yeah, I when I when I see parents today talking about and I heard you and he'll talk about like gentle parenting and all that, that sounds like the part of me that got my a*s beat as a child is like very much rooting for the gentle parenting aspect. But then when I'm looking and I'm hearing everyone talk about it and it's like, I see these kids out here acting Ferrell, I hear the things that get talked about amongst moms. They're like, Oh, like, this is the correction for this. And I'm just like, Wow, I never even thought about doing whatever that behavior is that that kid's doing because I knew that the consequence was getting my a*s beat, so I didn't do those things. Do you know what I mean? Yes, my parents were also a spanking household. My grandparents were a spanking household. I very rarely ever got spanked, maybe like two handfuls of times in my entire life. Yeah. And that's all it took. And that's all it took, because I just knew at that point that was going to be the consequence, and I didn't want to have to deal with that. That probably create some level of anxiety. Yes, because if I did something wrong, I was fearful all day long knowing that I was going home and it was going to be belt spanking. Oh yeah, that that that feeling in your stomach where you're just waiting, it's like your blood is running cold. You can't f**king breathe. Yeah, or like that idea of you. Just wait until your dad gets home. Like, that is the worst torture in the world. And I remember distinctly after I had Jackson, that was conversations that Will and I had before he was ever even born that I'm not going to pull the you wait until your dad gets home because I'm going to handle it now because I don't want my child to have that level of anxiety. And it's not necessarily fair for one parent to have to do all of that and the other parent do none of that. So we were very even in that regard. But I don't spank. Yeah. So, you know, it's like this new age parenting that I've tried to. It wasn't how I. Was parents, but I've adapted to have that type of mindset of I don't want my child to be fearful of me. But then the question becomes what is a healthy level of fear and what is an unhealthy level of fear like? Jackson has absolutely zero fear whatsoever, like he will walk in this house knowing that he's got some type of behavior on that behavior chart, and he will open up that behavior chart and show you his behavior himself, and you can ask him questions. He'll answer the questions, he'll do all of the things, and the conversation goes a little bit like this while this person did this. So I did this and I felt like that was the right thing to do, but I got in trouble for it at school. But if I was at home, I wouldn't have got in trouble for the same day. So then that is another thing. There are certain things that he gets in trouble for in the school setting that he necessarily would get in trouble for at home. And I've tried to explain to him when you are amongst a ton of others, consequences look very different in that setting vs. consequences being at home when you're by yourself. One on one with us. And that's such a hard see. I've been on the other, the other end of that type of situation, and it's my mom and I were just talking about this the other day. She was telling Corey about this. One time when I was in preschool, she got a call from the school that I was at and told her she had to go to the office when she came to pick me up because I was in trouble and I was like a pretty well-behaved child, so I didn't really go to the office very often. So she gets to the office and they're explaining her how we had a substitute teacher. Christa was taking too long in the bathroom because she was like changing the roll of toilet paper or something after the substitute told her three times to come out of the bathroom. And she told her that she's only there some of the time, so she doesn't get to change the rules. And my mom's like, Well, she's literally correct because one I teach her at home to replace the toilet paper to her actual teacher teaches her to replace the toilet paper before they leave the bathroom to be courteous to the people coming in after you. And yeah, the substitute is the substitute. So why is she coming in and changing the rules? And like my mom said, like, it's so hard, like she was talking about how basically you end up co-parenting with the school. Yeah, that's exactly what ends up happening, because this conversation that I was having with the teachers and administration was on this call to was essentially just a similar conversation that I would have with Will in a separate household, just with his teachers based off of the school setting. Yeah. And when you think about it, it's crazy, but it kind of makes sense. They have your kids for what, like seven, eight hours a day. And you know, what I tell Jackson is all the time because it's something that my parents told me this. They've told me this pretty much my whole life. It's not about what you say, it's how you deliver that message. So you have to be mindful that even though you might be right and you might feel like you're right about something, it's how you're addressing that issue with whatever you're trying to address and how you're saying it versus the actual issue, right? Right. So like, you probably got sent to the office because they probably thought what you were saying was disrespect in that situation. Basically, what ended up happening was the the substitute teacher said that I have to listen to whoever is in authority, so it doesn't matter what the actual class rules are. If the person in authority is saying get out of the bathroom, you need to immediately get out of the bathroom. So she was. It wasn't necessarily my delivery. I definitely remember that incident very clearly, and I said, like, you're not the boss. So delivery was poor, but she was just being a jackass, in my opinion. However, you know, I my dad's famous words, words like, you know, say, like, say what you're going to say and say it with a smile. Mm-Hmm. Because you know, the delivery delivery is key. You can really get lost in the sauce if your delivery is turned off. Yeah, for sure. And like, I think that kids today have so much access to be unmonitored and like some ways, that their sneakier and maybe we were sneaky as kids, I don't remember being a sort of a kid is what I see. Kids are today. It's like with the video games. There's like ways they can chat with cell phones, with tablets. There are so many different outlets for them to be able to get into s**t today then whenever we were kids. That the level of monitoring that has to go on is so extreme. And so. Jackson at some point drew a conclusion that no one knew anything about anything that he was doing, including his schoolteachers, that he's sitting in the classroom. I it's funny because I almost feel like I hear all of my mom friends talk about stuff like this, right? And they're like, Oh my God, these kids today. And I think about, OK, I'm not a parent yet, but I think about the stuff that I did. And I'm like, I don't necessarily think, I think it's literally we all go through the same cycle because I remember I only didn't do dumb s**t for the most part because I was scared of my parents reaction and the punishment. Otherwise, I would have tested it and I would have done dumb s**t. And I also still tried to do sneaky things, so I didn't. I'm not. I like the kids today are acting any different than I was acting. It's just like now we're all in that like parent phase. OK, Lindsay, I've been getting a ton of DMs since the last time we talked about finances and my little finance hacks and stuff, so obviously I am still making sure everybody, especially the ones in my dreams asking for help are on their credit building journey. 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But maybe like our level of awareness is higher because our kids do have more access to things, so we're more pasta, we're more aware than what our parents were aware. But like this goes all the way back to Jackson in kindergarten. I would ask him, Jackson, are you eating your school lunch? Yes, ma'am, I am. I'm like, OK, really? Because I have like a little eye that is in the lunchroom that tells me, you throw all of your lunch away. Do you know who the little I was? It was Caroline Manus. And once he realized. No, no, no, no. Once he realized that he was being watched, their behaviour completely changed. And that's the same thing. Like when you have behavior charts that come home in a communication folder with your kids every single day. Kids are less likely to do stuff when they know they're going to be told off for something because they don't want to have to deal with the consequences of being told on. And this has been very interesting in a co-parenting aspect with Will and I, because the way he disciplined and the way that I discipline, which I actually hate, the word discipline, the way we parent is very different in both of our households. And so that has been a journey in itself because at one point when before Jackson graduated his little therapy program that we put him in through the divorce process, once he graduated that we had a little adjustment period of parenting because I could go to his therapist and will could go to his therapist and share things, and she would kind of remedy problems for us. And then once he graduated that we had to learn how to remedy problems by ourselves together. And so that was a whole other thing, and Will had a great point. But I didn't want to see it at the time that he was making the point because I wanted my point to be louder, he said. In no time will I ever be fearful of parenting my child in the way that I feel that my child should be parented because I am fearful of what might happen to me. I'm not out here beating my child. I'm not out here doing, you know, extreme things, but I'm not going to allow my child to think that I fear my child. At no point am I going to have a child in my home that they think they're going to tell me what to do. Yeah, that's I see a lot of that. Like, I see so much of that and a lot of like my friend's kids. And I'm like, Obviously, I never comment on parenting because I don't ever comment. Sometimes people come to me and ask me advice, and I'm like, Well, I'm not a parent. I like to preface with that. But, you know, I would imagine that I would do things like this or maybe try this if you haven't already. It's like an outside perspective. But what's crazy is, you see, like all I see all over TikTok and in real life is these kids who are running the households. And I'm like, I couldn't even fathom because I wouldn't be existing right now if I tried that. No. And I was having a conversation with Trent not too long ago about how many options we give kids, not just like us, but just in general, how many options kids have today. And you see parents all the time, and I am guilty as sin for what I'm about to say. What do you want to do? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, that was not a thing when we were growing up. We did what our parents told us we were going to do. If that meant that we were going out to look at real estate because my dad was buying a flip. Then guess what? We were sitting in the backseat of that car and we were out looking at real estate all day and going to where they wanted to go to brunch or where they wanted to go to watch whatever movie that they wanted to go, see if they were going shopping for clothes. We were hitting them all. That was just not an option. We did not have those conversations. Now it's like, do you guys want to go to the jump park? Do you want to go to the regular park? Do you want to go to the lake? Do you want to do this? We were never. That was never a question. No, maybe on my birthday. But we we were never given options. And so I think because of the level of options that we give our kids now, it allows them to feel like they have more choices. And where I agree with kids feeling like they're making decisions because it creates some level of responsible decision-making and a learning lesson through, OK, well, if you choose this and then it goes bad, then you know there's going to be a natural consequence to that. But if you choose this and it goes good, there's also a good consequence to that. So where I think that it can be helpful in some ways if it's. We're done. It's chaos. Yeah, I've definitely seen that with stuff like that or like, Are you hungry at dinnertime? No, my a*s was sitting at that table. I was. There was no. Are you hungry? We're all sitting down together. We're all eating together. Oh, well, I'll tell you what I do, and I don't know if other parents do this. And it's probably easier because I have one, right? So when you're trying to manage collective zoo with multiple kids, I don't think that this would be realistic. But let's say Jackson's like watching something or he's playing basketball upstairs in his room. Again, this goes back to options that I am guilty of. I will say, do you want to quesadilla or do you want a taco? And whatever he chooses is what I am making goes back to being like the short order cook. However, I'm normally eating whatever one he is choosing, right? And I do think that it makes it harder for parents who are co-parenting and you're splitting your week because I'm cooking for him two days a week, right? So I want to make sure that these are things that he wants to eat and he doesn't feel like he's being forced to eat. But if he is in the middle of a basketball game upstairs and I call for dinner like I will give him a ten minute grace period to come downstairs to eat his food. And if he pulls that I'm not hungry, I pull that. I don't care if you're not hungry, I'm making you dinner and you're eating dinner. You have 10 minutes to get down here because your food is going to be on the table. I, I definitely would get the dinners in 10 wash up morning and we all had our butts at those seats in 10. I definitely never got asked like what I wanted for dinner. Whatever was for dinner was for dinner, and we had the rule in my house where you cannot tell me you don't like something unless you've tried it. We had the three bite rule and I applied to three bite rule to Jackson as well. So there will be times that I will fix him, something that's like an easier version of like a simple meal, for example, maybe like a cheesecake idea and some fruit and vegetable. And I might cook myself a piece of salmon and a salad, and I make him take three bites of whatever I have for him to tell me that he doesn't like it. Because guess what, buddy? If you like it next time, I make this for myself. This is also what you're having. I like that. So here's my question, though is it three bites every time or three bites one time? What do you mean for your four? For him to say he doesn't like something? Is it three bites one? Yeah. So like if I've made salmon and some type of like kale salad or something, if he tries the salmon and I cook it the same way again, I'm not going to make him eat that again because I do feel like as you become adult, you don't have to eat things that you don't like, or typically you don't have to eat things that you don't like. So I'm not going to enforce something that's not going to be carried out through his adult life. But I do think it's important for kids to try things and if they truly just don't like them, I'm not going to force that on you, but you're going to try it to let me know that you don't like it. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I agree, because there's things that I want to eat in based off a smell or appearance that once I tasted them, I was like, Oh, this is good, like salmon. And like, why are we traumatizing our kids over peace when they become 18 years old and could choose not to eat them? They can choose not to eat the peas anymore. Why are we traumatizing ourselves? Also, by going through the emotional distress of having a conversation about the peas that don't really matter? Literally, the way parenting has evolved is so interesting to me, and I'm so interested to see how it goes. When Corey and I have one on weight, I have to ask this completely unrelated, but I have hooted and hollered about this woman on Tik Tok about which number you would pick. Did you watch that? Oh my god, yes. Yup. And I immediately before she even started talking, I was like, I know the difference. OK, wait, so tell me. OK, so unknown is typically like a bill collector or, you know, a notification about a bill or your payment is due or about to be due or has been accepted or whatever when it's no caller ID. That's somebody that you blocked immediately. I knew it immediately. I just dying laughing. So this this woman had two phone screens up on this video and it was two iPhone screens and on one of them, it says no caller ID like obviously a blocked call. And she was like, This is either your X or the other girl he's messing with here, this other screen. Is unknown, and that's probably a bill that you owe or a debt collector like something that is important, they don't want you to know what it is, so you're not warned when you answer, but it's probably something important. The other is just like, toxic. Yep. Which one are you choosing to answer me? Mm hmm. It depends what mood I'm in. No, I am answering the unknown because first of all, it's unknown, so I don't even know what I'm getting myself into. I am signing up for chaos and toxic at the point that I answer that no caller ID call because I know who it be. That's what I'm saying. It depends on movement. If I'm in the mood to fight with someone like I've had a bad day, I will pick up that new call already. So quick. Hmm. Me, if you're if you're no reveal yourself, if you are calling me and you are going to call for a toxic exchange and you know that what you're doing is not in the best interest, then just I don't care who you are, just reveal yourself if it is unknown. I am going to answer because it's probably either my credit card is expired on something, which would be the only reason that I haven't paid something because all of my stuff is set up on like an automatic whatever. And I'm solving two problems. I'm answering the call. My credit's not going to get dinged from a bill that I haven't paid. I'm going to pay the bill and I'm going to move on. You answer the no caller ID call. You have signed up for chaos for the foreseeable future. Your point's valid points valid, but I need to know what everybody else is choosing and like, are you that toxic that you're answering? No caller I.D. calls me specifically, yes. I also would love to know from the cla*s. Of Lindsay, over the weekend, I was talking to some of my friends because we had a little bonfire and one of my friends owns a business, and they were talking about how they are desperately trying to secure help ahead of time for their company to get them through the holiday season. And obviously they would love to keep somebody on, and I recommend it. Indeed. I'm sure you did, because you have found two people on indeed what within like the last year that you have absolutely love. Yes, I've had such a great experience. You know, I talk about it honestly all the time, but hiring can be such a challenge and you just don't need that. So if you have a hiring partner like indeed, that can help you just rise to that challenge. It's fantastic, and it's a hiring platform where you can attract, interview and hire all in one place, which I think is so smart. You don't have to spend hours on multiple job site searching for candidates with the right skills because in deeds, a powerful hiring platform that can help you do it all. So they streamline hiring with powerful tools that find you matched candidates. And with instant match, over 80 percent of employers get quality candidates whose resume on indeed matches their job description the moment that they sponsor a job that is according to indeed data. Yeah, I've had such a great experience, especially using Instant Match. Indeed, we'll show you the candidates whose resumes on indeed fit your description immediately after you post so you can hire faster, which I really appreciated because I was in desperate need to replace my assistant. Indeed, is also the only job site where you only pay for applications that meet your must have requirements, which I like to have a bang for my buck. You can join more than three million businesses worldwide that use them to hire great talent. Fast start hiring now with a $75 sponsor job credit to upgrade your job post.com/ southern tea offer good for a limited time plan. Your $75 credit now at Indeed.com slash southern tea indeed.com slash southern tea. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire. You need indeed. And completely other news, did you get any info on what was actually going on with Kourtney Kardashian Barker? OK. I did. And it took a while because nothing was coming out. There was obviously, as always, speculation. You were saying it was her and the baby. Some people were like, Oh, she lied about her duty and she just had the baby, which seemed off to me and like, I don't buy that one. And then other people were saying that Travis's dad is actually like, not well. So they were thinking it was him. OK, I read that the reason that they had their wedding where they had their wedding was because of Kourtney's grandmother and Travis's dad, them not being in good enough health to feasibly be able to travel to a location like Italy. Yeah. So which makes total sense. I was like, you know, super nice to make sure that they could be there. The real reason finally came out. Kourtney shared on Instagram a health update. She said that she's blessed to be walking in out of the hospital, walking out of the hospital with my baby boy in my tummy and safe. She expressed gratitude for her incredible doctors for saving our baby's life and husband who rushed to my side from tour to be with me in the hospital and to take care of me afterwards. So obviously did not go into details as far as what the cause of the situation was, but she did have to have emergency fetal surgery. I don't know what fetal surgery is, so it's when they operate on your baby while the baby is still inside of you. But like what could have potentially been wrong or what could have potentially been the complications that I really don't know? Part of me is just wondering, is it? Is it something that has anything to do with her age, like her maternal age, just because I know that things get riskier? What is it after thirty five, I believe? And she's in her forties, but I'm not sure I know I've I've seen different things on like Grey's Anatomy and stuff like that about different situations that have come up where they had to operate while the baby was still in utero. But she did not give any details as to why so happened from the Mayo Clinic says that's why it's done is early intervention. Using fetal surgery can treat life threatening birth defects to improve outcomes in some cases. An example would be if a baby has been diagnosed before birth with spinal bifida. Surgeons might perform open fetal surgery or less invasive procedure. It also says that other conditions that require fetal surgery are amniotic band syndrome, cystic ab domino malformation of the lung congenital high airway obstruction. There's a long list of things like hernias and stuff like that, so I just truly wonder what's actually going on with her baby. I know same. Obviously, if she was photographed or leaving the hospital, she was able to go home. So I'm assuming the best. I'm hoping for the best for them. I can't imagine how terrifying that is. Just for mom and baby, obviously for sure. That is so insane. I had concocted some like crazy stuff in my mind that could have potentially been the cause of why he was coming home. And I'm just glad that none of the ideas that I had were correct. Yeah, I mean, I definitely I was so scared that somebody actually passed away or something, actually, you know, something happen with the baby. I was like, Oh God, I hope. As soon as I saw that flash like flash across on our last recording, I was like, Oh no, this is not good, not good. In other news, We have covered Alec murder and the murder murders on coffee combos, but I'm going to give the update here on anything moving forward for the next couple of months on this case. And it was big news in the past week, and the article that I saw said Alec Myrtle seeks new trial and murders of wife and son, claiming Clarke tampered with the jury. This is quite honestly huge. The article says convicted murderer, murderer and disgraced former lawyer Alec Myrtle is seeking a new trial in South Carolina, alleging the clerk tampered with the jury as his lawyers claim there is newly discovered evidence in the case. Attorneys for the 55 year old allege in a new court filing that Rebecca Hill, the county's clerk of court, engage in. Internal misconduct deliberately violating a defendant's constitutional rights to a fair trial before an impartial jury to secure financial gain for herself. She published a book on the case called Behind the Doors of Justice There at All Murders in July, and his attorneys are requesting an evidentiary hearing that they said in a news conference will give them subpoena power so that they can request phone records emails in addition to speaking to witnesses. Ultimately, they are hoping for a new trial. Here's the thing, and this is completely my opinion. I understand constitutional rights if those have been violated. We know what my parents have gone through and do. I believe that constitutional rights have been violated. I do. And that is very serious allegations. However, in my opinion, regardless of his constitutional rights being violated, this could be a technicality to grant him a new trial. The evidence doesn't change, though, if that's that's where I get stuck right, because that's right there. The evidence does not change. Yeah. Like, you cannot convince me that this man was not completely just a corrupt fellow human being. And I have watched some of the videos that have come out of just like his questioning and his whereabouts on the night of his son and his wife's murder and his story kind of change. And he didn't really acknowledge the fact that he was at the kennels and this interview with law enforcement until they let him know that they were able to get on his son's phone and his voice was in the video at the kennels at the time, around the time of the murders. And so I just think the way that he moves and you see this very often when you have people who are wealthy in a state of power and control geographical area or have pool and a geographical area that they start with little things and doing little things and the more they get away with, the further they push the envelope. And I think that was what this situation was. I believe that he started doing small things and used his background in law and his connections even politically, his connections to basically do whatever he wanted to do with zero consequences. And I think that he truly just got caught up, got messy. And I believe that he absolutely did this. Also, it's not helping the fact that he just a couple of weeks ago got caught in jail. They give them like little tablets, and he got caught in jail by misusing his tablet and his rights to that were restricted. Do we know what he was doing? Well, I believe he was also on somebody else's tablet, and I don't think that that is allowed either. Yeah, I like your tablet is your tablet not to be. So according to the New York Post, it says that he loses present phone tablet privileges after lawyer records phone call for documentary. So there's a documentary that's coming out, which there's already been like other documentaries, but this one's a little bit different. And basically, from my understanding, what happened was there was recorded conversation that was intended to be used for this upcoming documentary about the murders, and they accused him of willingly and knowingly abusing his telephone privileges to communicate with news media for his own personal gain. And having these conversations with his lawyer. OK, so here's the thing that kind of disgusts me with the media. Why are they talking to this man when he got convicted and he's in prison? I mean anything for the next story, right? But I I think that there's just further proves, although this is just like a small jail crime of what he was doing, it just proves what I said earlier that for someone like this who has gotten away with doing whatever he wants to do, when he wants to do it for as long as he's done it, consequences don't apply to him. Correct. That's what that's what he clearly thinks. So I believe there was some statement that came out from maybe like the spokesperson or whatever of it was like director of operations or something with the jail. And he basically said whether the actions were intended or not. The lawyer essentially assisted him in violating the policy that jeopardized his communications and that they were revoking that. And I know the phone communications, I think, were revoked for like 30 days or something. And then the tablet stuff was on indefinite situation. They didn't give him any timeframe on when he was going to be able to get that back. And he also lost canteen privileges. So that's basically like commissary. So that's revoked for 30 days as well. So how much money you're given a limited amount of money that you can have on your books for the month and you're allowed to use that for purchases like food and soaps, razors, clothing items like that kind of stuff, and that was also revoked for 30 days. Oh, wow. OK. So for people who have not been educated by you because you've done a lot of self-education plus been educated by various people with experience, can you explain a little bit about the difference in facilities and maybe privileges, not like things like that between where your parents are versus where he is? So I haven't really talked about this before, but I do very much have an interest in going to visit some state facilities to just see what the differences are with my own eyes. But federal prisons are operated and funded by the U.S. Department of Justice, and state is operated by state. And so there are a decent amount of differences in state prisons because even though you might be there for like a very long time in a state prison, depending on the the crime that you have committed, you are there for breaking state laws, not federal laws. Federal prisons, generally speaking, are said to be state safer than state prisons, and they generally keep inmates that are less violent and dangerous nature. Got it. OK. And then phone privileges go. I know you were just talking about the tablet and stuff like that. Is that like universal across both state and federal or is it really dependent? That, to me, I believe, is a state thing, the tablet thing. That's the first I have ever heard of that. I've never heard of my dad having any access to like any type of tablet or anything like that. I believe they have computer labs and. And they go in there to do like their emails and research and whatever. As far as like the security and a federal prison, they are higher security than state prisons and there are fewer federal prisons compared to state prisons. It said that again, federal prisons are said to be safer than state prisons, and the prison population in a federal prison is significantly lower than state. And I would be very interested to go like I would love to go to the prison where Alec Myrtle is Jesse. Yeah. Field trip, should we go on a field trip? I mean, I'm down. But yeah, the to answer your question in a more just general sense, the state prisons are state correctional facilities and those are operated by the state governments. And those are for people who have violated state laws. And the state's Department of Corrections is who typically helps oversee the incarceration or incarceration of all the prisoners that are in that system. Got it. OK. I always like your knowledge on this topic, so I figured everybody else would appreciate it also. Christine, guess who is coming to my house very soon? And guess what I did whenever I cleaned Friday to my guest bathroom? Oh, I know this minute you said that it's nanny and she's coming for the raft. Five. She will be a klepto and steal all of my raft five products that are in my guest bathroom. But here's the funny thing I replace them and put new ones in there every single time so that she can steal them. So it's actually really a gift. She just is choosing to take them. I absolutely love these products. I talk about them all the time. I love their product lineup. It's only five products. They have a gel cleanser, acne treatment pads, spot on treatment, a nighttime moisturizer and SPF hydrating lotion. If you guys are not on the skin care game, definitely check out RA five. This is a great place for you to be able to start. I use the clear the way pads all the time, multiple times a day. If I go to the gym or the body studio, I have them in my car. 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Lindsay, we've been talking so much about me because we both ordered it and are loving it. My mom actually heard me talking about it with you on the phone the other day and she now wants to try it and I'm like, Listen, I share a lot of things with you. I'm not sharing that. So Let Me was created by an OB-GYN who developed a uniquely formulated balanced deodorant, aluminum free skin safe and clinically proven to control odor for up to 72 hours. And it's actually clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. So 12 hours after her shower, the average person has an odor level of six out of 10, which is crazy when you think about it. But with Lumi, the average odor level is a zero out of 10. So I was telling my mom how much we're loving it. Of course, using it on his feet and he's having, you know, phenomenal results because that was a huge problem for him was his feet and the odor there. I'm loving that it's helping him. They have such great scents, which my favorite right now definitely is the lavender sage. What I was going to say lavender sage, too. But they also have clean tangerine, which I have not tried that one. I've tried the lavender sage and the toasted coconut. You cannot truly go wrong. It's just personal preference. But the lavender sage is just like a very clean and refreshing scent, in my opinion. And if you guys have not tried, they have a starter pack, and that's perfect for new customers because it comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like the mini body wash and the deodorant wipes, and you're going to get free shipping. And they also gave us a special offer as well. So as a special offer for our listeners. New customers will get $5 off a Lumi starter pack with Code Southern Tea at Lumi Deodorant dot com. That equates to over 40 percent off your starter pack when you visit Lumi Deodorant dot com and use code Southern Tea that is L U M e deodorant dot com and use code Southern Tea. In other completely unrelated news, I saw this thing about relationships, and I wanted to get your thoughts on this. And it was talking about relationships and the greatest fight. And this video said one of the traps found in relationships is spiritual warfare is real. And you can do everything right. Like you can go to counseling, you can fight for each other, you can implement healthy communication. But if you're not careful to be aware of how the enemy attack style and how he keeps trying to creep into your stuff when there's any offense in the relationship, what this person said they were saying is when two people see it as me versus you versus us versus the problem we forget we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, we don't wrestle against physical components. We only have one enemy. And you should know all of these things so that everyone is properly equipped and this goes into what Paul says and the Bible. Don't be ignorant to the enemy's devices or how he schemes against you. This has nothing to do with not taking accountability for our actions. It is the spirit behind the voices, the thoughts that we hear whenever we're offended. If you're not careful trying to do it, God's way the enemy will literally show up within your relationships and try to sabotage them. And then it went into talking about how no one's family is perfect. No relationship is perfect. We all have natural things that interfere with harmony and relationships. But please let us not be fooled and be people that forget that we have spiritual realm and that when we let the enemy have his field day, he gets to stay uncovered and we should uncover it now and address the enemy. And it made me think about what you said in a non-religious basis. But what you had said about what your mom advised you and Corey of letting the problem be y'all against the problem verses you against each other? Absolutely. Yeah, exactly. And basically coming, it's the same message, just in a non-religious sense where it's like, it's so easy to want to be right, and now you're fighting with each other over who's right and whatever. And it really just like putting it into perspective, being like, let's identify the actual problem here. The problem is not me. The problem is not you. The problem is this. Whatever the problem is, it's like naming it, identifying it and then figuring out how to work that problem together instead of spending your time fighting with each other. And then you still have that problem there. That problem doesn't go away just because you're fighting with each other. Normally, the problem in my lived experience, the problem is easily resolved when you work together against the problem versus when you're trying to be right and your partner is trying to be right and you're trying to be heard over your partner versus just tackling whatever that problem or conflict may be. I agree. And OK, so I have a question for you. Do you think that temptation would fall into this as like a problem in religious based marriages? And what regard temptation and what regard temptation for like other like other people like not cheating, but just like having I guess it would be what's considered, I guess, like impure thoughts. Maybe. I feel like how can you truly identify somebody as impure thoughts if they're thoughts and they're not said things? So I only ask this because I was reading something about Ginger Duggar because she just came out with her new book and stuff, and she was talking about how Jeremy does not have like he doesn't. He has Instagram, but he does. He's not able to go on any Instagrams because of, they said, temptation. And I was confused because I'm like, Are you trying to say that he would cheat because he had Instagram? Well, then you get into the debate. Are you going to allow someone to essentially hang themselves by doing what they would do if they've been given access to something because that's their character? Or do you completely gatekeeper and don't allow them to do it because you fear their temptation? That's what threw me off. Yeah, that's exactly that for me. I would never. OK, I'm not going to say no because one will and I left college. We both got off of Facebook because there was really just like, no need to have it. It was unnecessary time. We weren't. Like, we were making money off of Facebook. Really any real reason to be on it, and I do think that a lot of that had to do with insecurities in our relationship of possible wandering eye. And I think that that was just like a very young and naive way to think of things at that time of our life. I believe a cheater is always going to cheat. So if that is in their nature to do that and they are strayer and they are going to look for fulfillment somewhere else outside of you, then being on Facebook isn't going to stop them from doing whatever they're doing. They're being on. Facebook just might make it easier, but it's not going to stop it. And that's my opinion on that today at thirty three. I would never be like, Oh, you can't have Instagram or you can't have social media or you can't have this or you can't have that. Because, no, that's going to show me a lot about you. Yeah. And I just I was very thrown off and confused, right? Because I'm from the book of like, they're going to do what they're going to do regardless. So what the hell are? Like, I'd rather them do it sooner than later if they're going to do it at all, do it sooner. That's my thought. Please do it now before I get further invested. So when they when I saw that situation, I was like, What the hell do you mean? I knew it was a religious thing, but I didn't. I didn't know what that meant because I lived by the book of like, we're married, not dead. I can find a man attractive and not want to cheat on you. Yeah, I mean, I don't know at this point in time in my relationship, I'm not going to say that. I wouldn't be like, Oh, that's a cute looking guy, like an actor or something like that. Right? However, that person means absolutely nothing to me. I'm not looking at someone with that mindset. Don't want to invite that into my life and would not entertain something like that, you know? Good and well, I don't entertain DMs. I don't entertain any of that because I am happy and invested wherever I'm at. But where I think that that gets a little tricky. I'm weird with what you just told me is that it's basically a control situation of I'm going to control you to not allow you to do this as if you were a child so that you don't have the temptations that I potentially think that you may have. Yeah, exactly. It just, I don't know. It didn't. It didn't sit right with me. And I kind of was. When you just read me what? You read me, I'm like, I feel like that kind of is along the same lines, like in religious merit, like, you know, religious based relationships. You always hear about temptation and stuff like that. Is from the devil and it's evil. And I mean, I think in today's society, there are probably a lot of temptations out there and I view it more. There's and maybe this was just an opinion because I'm a woman, but I feel like there's so many temptations out there for men, with social media, with people posting thirst traps and OnlyFans and all of these ways that men can have that outlet, I guess, to be able to stray. And then you get into the whole conversation of cheating. And what that looks like is porn. Cheating is looking at another woman and lusting after her is that cheating is, you know, liking someone's photo that you honestly shouldn't probably be looking at. Is that cheating that opens up that whole can of worms? Right. And I guess the last the last thing that I want to say about it is when I hear about temptation, it drives me crazy, especially in regards to men, because it very much feels like it's used as an excuse. Oh, well, you know, temptation got the best of them, and these girls are out here doing this. And women are tempting men, and I f**king hate that narrative. I very much sleep on their toes. Well, no, because you can't blame someone else for how you responded. Exact-, exact. That's how I feel like that's a character flaw. Yeah. Like you going out here doing whatever you're doing that says everything about your character, where theirs might be flawed as well and based off of what I just saw probably is. But I'm not worried about her character. I'm worried about your character and how you responded to her lack of character. Well, it just it just it perpetuates the whole thing, and I don't know if you had uniforms in school when you were in school or not. I did less code. I do not have uniforms in white one as soon as I moved to public school in Pennsylvania. You wore whatever you wore. You had to, like, fit the requirements and stuff for like your speed. Your straps had to be three fingers in your skirts, had to be past your fingertips and all that kind of stuff. And it was like if your bra strap was hanging out, you're getting told that you're distracting the boys in cla*s. And it's like, what? What like, teach them to not be weird. That's also a whole nother conversation, like uniforms and school vs. having no dress code. There's a local high school in my area that has actual no dress code. So like girls are going in there with crop tops, biker shorts, spaghetti strap does not matter what they're wearing as long as they are present for school and where I think that having the freedom to be able to dress the way that you want to is it is appropriate in certain settings in a school setting. I don't necessarily know that that is appropriate. But again, I'm coming from a background of I wear a uniform from the time I was in ninth grade until I graduated, and so everybody looked the exact same and we were all in the struggle bus together, doing the exact same s**t. So nobody looked different and nobody cared. See for me, I I don't think there should be a rule. Do I think tube tops should be allowed at school? No, because do you know how easy it is or a tube top down off somebody that's just like asking for an issue? Spaghetti straps? I don't care. You're wearing straps. I don't give a s**t like thong sandals like flip flops. Backless shoes. Safety concern, I guess. But like again, natural consequence. Free fall Musharraf's like maybe make him sign a waiver. I'm not really like, I don't know. But as far as, like, you know, skirts, should they be an appropriate length? Sure. I remember when I was going to school, hard tales were the thing and they got banged from, Oh yeah, because they were reacting. And I mean, at at the end of the day, you know, you have to decide, pick and choose your battles, right? Like, is this something that I'm going to really harp on or is this something like I really don't give a s**t about? We actually got on message to this other anti Instagram page, and I meant to bring this up earlier in the episode about this PE teacher literally coming for us, saying that it wasn't the school's problem, that parents couldn't figure it out at home. And it was not the teacher's responsibility to remedy a co-parenting solution for children to have the proper shoes for P.E. that it was a safety concern. So they make them sit out because it's not safe for them to have Crocs in motorsport or what is it called sports world or whatever the hell, whatever the hell it's called that it's not safe for them to have those crocs on. And so that's why they're sitting out. But my question would be, OK, they're sitting out because it's not safe. While I understand that logic, I don't understand why it's not being looked into more. Is there being a conversation had with these children on why they're wearing the improper shoes? And are they just being docked on their grade because they had a parent who didn't send them to school in the proper shoes? Yeah, I thought we were trying to comment on that. I know exactly what conversation you're talking about. I think we were just spitballing ideas of how to like, make it so that the kid, it's not being taken out on the kid. As far as I don't care if the kid sat out, I care if the grade was docked. And then she proceeded to tell me that if it was such an issue for basically the parents to get their s**t together, then they need to send a pair of tennis shoes that stayed at the school that the child could use. While that could be a solution. If you're talking about elementary age students, they don't have locker room. So where are they storing these shoes? Well, and so like, my elementary school did have locker rooms, but I don't know. I think we did say, like maybe there was a situation of like being able to have shoes at the school or something. We definitely weren't coming for this. Like we weren't coming for anybody really. Besides the parents, we were just trying to come up with ideas as far as the kid not getting dropped like a grade because that child cannot help it. Yeah. And guess what? I'm just going to tell myself today, Jackson has a calendar that is Ömer. Later, I asked him when he put on his crops this morning what special he had, he said music. I allowed him to continue to put on his crocs. I go and look at the chart because I question what he sang. And I said, Actually, it's pee. And he said, Well, as long as our crocs are in sport mode, we're allowed to wear them and I let him. This goes back to the natural consequence parenting. I let him proceed with his crocs into the car with his backpack, and I said, Sir, if you come home and you have had to sit out of pee because you thought you were wearing those Crocs in sport mode and you're not getting credit for it, you are grounded. Do you hear me? Yes, ma'am. There you go. So as we got out in those crocs, so that has nothing to do with the co-parenting issue has to do with the fact that that is a natural consequence. So he might be allowed to wear them in sport mode. I don't know because I haven't talked to PE teacher, but if he is not, I will find out because I will log on and see what his participation looked like and on this specific date. I also saw this chart come up. I saw it on Instagram, actually, and it was talking about scarcity, mindset versus abundance mindset. And these are the little categories I don't have enough time is the scarcity mindset and the abundance mindset is I always have all the time I need. I am always behind the pace I am going right now is exactly the pace that it needs to be. I am not doing enough. I am worthy no matter what my output results need to come faster. I will arrive in my own perfect time and I think that as a society we all generally live a scarcity mindset. I would, I would agree. Not until therapy did I start living the other way, even through therapy. I've definitely learned these things, but I don't. I have a very hard time. Applying. Things like this to my life, because the negative self-talk is real. We know that I have gotten to such a happy place in my personal life that if it's not done, it'll either be there when I arrive there or it passed me and I missed out. Yeah, and that's just it, because you are never going to be able to do all of the things that you need or want to do in the time that you want or need to do them. So if and on that note, I have two things four weekly devotional ran across these on a page on Instagram that I regularly check every day. And the first one is I'm not a theologian or a scholar, but I'm very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us in my own life. I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and a love of God. And through the last couple of years of my life, nothing could be more true than this. That's a good one. The next one is I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless he sees that it is good for them to wait. When you do enter your room, you will find that long way has done you some kind of good, which you would not have had otherwise. But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping. You must keep on praying for light. And of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules, which are common to the whole house. And above all, you must be asking which door is the true one, which door pleases you best and by its paint and paneling. And that is so frickin true. We all feel like sometimes we just want answers to something or we just want something else to happen or live to speed up or life to slow down whatever it may be. And I have gotten so comfortable in the waiting game because I finally reached a point of realization that nothing is about my time. And whether you believe in God or the universe or whatever it is, there is a plan that is bigger than yours and bigger than you. Yeah. And on that note, I have a very short but sweet weekly. Oh God, you always get so scared. I'm always so scared of the weekly tea, because listen, there's been some shady stuff that I have seen, and I also don't know what you're about to read to me. And so I don't know how I'm going to respond because this is all just like a natural response. Hey, my grandmother never paid her divorce lawyer, so he never filed for divorce. Her ex quote unquote remarried, dropped dead and my grandmother, as his legal widow collected his pension, wait back up so she never paid her divorce lawyer. So she never legally got divorced, correct? Her attorney never filed the divorce papers, but her ex clearly did not know that. So he thought he was divorced this whole time. Correct. And he literally got remarried. Oh oh oh. Not because it's not legal that he dropped dead. And then the original wife, like the still still wife, collected his pension because she was his legal widow. Listen, there are some shady stuff that happened after death and these people that have died. Better be glad that they're dead, that they're not living to see it because it is an actual hell that I'm sure no one wants to go through. But could you imagine being that new wife thinking not only were you married, but also your man done drop dead and his actual wife is collecting what you thought you were going to collect? If I'm torn between like, Oh my god, I feel sorry for the current like the the fresh wife and but also get your bag sis for the old wife, because that's like f**kery at its finest. I would love to know more about the details of the divorce, but that's actually hilarious. First of all, tell me that men will believe anything. Um, also, I just want to say, make sure that if you ever do go through a divorce that you check records and you make sure that your attorney like I sent multiple emails confirming the fact that I was divorced. What? Date, I was divorced on the paperwork that was stamped by the judge, the settlement that was stamped, the parenting plan that was stamped like I made sure that I had absolutely everything because I didn't want any funny business that was going to be coming out after the fact. And also, I don't think that it's uncommon. A lot of times, even if this divorce happen, depending on how long they would have been married, she might have been entitled some of his pension even in that second marriage. Yeah, I don't know. But that's wild. Like, for example, OK, I'm just going to steal like a little bit of tea in the event that will ever got remarried. This is not like a PSA, but like a PSA in the event that that ever happened. He would have to get a second life insurance policy because the first one belongs to my son. Oh yeah, you've you've definitely said that. I, too. I totally. I get that in perpetuity. So like, it does not matter. Even if he is 18 years old at the time of his dad's death or at the time of mine. He is entitled to that life insurance. And let me just say before anybody because I know people have come free on that. Yeah, what about it's very smart that you did it that way? And I only say this because when my dad passed away, I was 18, but I was in college and because I was 18, I was not entitled to any Social Security benefits whatsoever because they only applied for under 18. So I got zero assistance that way. And I lot like my dad, was the breadwinner of the family. My mom had just recently gone back to work in the workforce when my dad had passed away. So like that, entire income was wiped out. Now it's like, OK, I am I. How the hell am I doing college? And if Jackson is 18, he could be faced with the same situation. But he will have money for, like future things with the life insurance where oh, for sure. You know, obviously my mom needed my mom was the beneficiary. My mom needed my dad's life insurance. She was gracious enough to give me money to continue going to school because we knew I would never qualify for an independent loan based off of income. And I still I still didn't meet the requirements to get like fast food assistance and things like that. So before people come for you, they have to look at the whole picture because I think that people think Social Security is forever and it does not help the child like any children once they're 18. To my knowledge, maybe there's something if you have like a disabled child, I don't really know. But I remember going into the Social Security office with my mom and my mom very much thought that I was going to get some type of assistance. And in fact, that was not the case. And then for her to start collecting my dad's benefits, she had to take a 40 percent cut from his lifetime benefit. That is so insane. Now, in the event that I got, I got remarried or Will got remarried, we could take out secondary life insurance policies that are new spouses could be beneficiaries of those first ones cannot be touched, and it is in perpetuity for Jackson could be thirty six years old. Yeah, no. It's definitely smart. It's for sure smart. And on that note, I got some s**t to do and some people to see, including my son, that's about to come home. So if you guys have not followed us on Instagram, make sure you do that at the Southern Tip podcast. If you have not subscribe to the show, you can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your podcasts. Always first at PodcastOne. I hope you guys have a great week, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Past Episodes

CC399: On this month's bonus episode.. Lindsie is saying very suspicious things and one of Kail's kids unexpectedly drops a swear word during the Superbowl watch party. Kail addresses the speculations as to why we stopped hearing from Kristen all of a sudden. Because we recorded before Valentine's Day, Lindsie and Kail share their plans for Valentine's. Lastly, someone asks AITA in the Facebook group and today's Foul Play has the marriage relationship we all strive for.

Thank you to our sponsor!

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Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code Coffee at BranchBasics.com/Coffee #branchbasicspod 

Happy Mammoth: Get 15% off on your entire first order at happymammoth.com just use the code COFFEECONVOS at checkout.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

01:16:39 2/17/2025

CC398: Kail and Lindsie give their experiences with giving and receiving the silent treatment but are flabbergasted at the idea of anyone doing it to their children. Are you a LawnMower parent? Today we learn a new parenting term that Lindsie might be a part of and Kail explains how she wants self sufficient kids. And speaking of kids, another parenting article mentions the importance of teens balancing their family time which resonates with Kail. News of a lady sending fart videos to her boyfriend's ex is so unhinged and we are NOT here for it.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Lume Deodorant and get 15% off with promo code Coffeeconvos at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod

Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS.

01:15:42 2/13/2025

CC397: Kail and Lindsie are ready for this week to be over. Kail gives an update on her boob job and how she's been navigating co-parenting scheduling conflicts. Lindsie has ALSO been having co-parenting problems, and speaks on the Disney Dad theory that one parent always gets to be the fun parent while the other does not. A listener's daughter doesn't like swearing, and today's Foul Play makes us glad we're not school bus drivers.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.
Calm: Visit Calm.com/CONVOS for 40% off a Calm Premium subscription.
Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/COFFEE! #honeylovepod
IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help
RoBody: Find out if you?re covered at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Go to Ro.Co/Safety for boxed warning and full safety information.
Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app.

01:06:55 2/6/2025

CC396: Lindsie is having co-parenting issues that is on the verge of escalating, which Kail can relate to. Kail talks about the faux coochie emergency, their thoughts on the Blake Baldoni scandal, and is unconditional love a good thing? A listener asks a super sus question that has Kail and Lindsie concerned about the listener's relationship.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Happy Mammoth: Get 15% off on your entire first order at happymammoth.com just use the code COFFEECONVOS at checkout.

Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/Coffee! #honeylovepod

Hungryroot: Get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at Hungryroot.com/convos and use code CONVOS

Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS.

Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app

01:20:34 1/30/2025

CC395: On this month's bonus episode... Lindsie and Kail ask their children to do as they say, and not as they do. Kail talks about new tax breaks and her stance on them as someone who came from poverty. Lindsie goes through her recent Instagram stories that had Kail and Elijah laughing in their beds the night before. Kail explains to Lindsie a new term, but not a new concept, called future faking. Listeners ask, how long should an engagement should last? And today's Foul Play teaches us about Colposcopy..

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Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code coffee at branchbasics.com/coffee #branchbasicspod

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Thrive Causemetics: Get an exclusive 20% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEE

01:25:12 1/27/2025

CC394: Lindsie gives an update on a beloved family pet and Kail plans to stay on RedNote forever. I'm sure many parents can relate to this article on Parental mental load, just as Kail and Lindsie have. They give their experiences and thoughts on how to deal with different issues. Lastly, we have listener questions and a Foul Play that has our coochies cringing. 

Thank you to our sponsor!

Calm: Visit Calm.com/CONVOS for 40% off a Calm Premium subscription.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

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RoBody: Find out if you?re covered at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Go to Ro.Co/Safety for boxed warning and full safety information.

Rocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

01:12:16 1/23/2025

CC393: Lindsie and Kail are all in for a potential return of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag - aka Speidi. Both of them double down on their opinions on last week's topic about spending separate time with OG family members. News of insurance companies dropping fire coverage in California months before the devasting fires has Kail and Lindsie feeling some type of way... And this Tiktok ban isn't helping. A listener asks if they should tell their BFF that they don't like their husband... Oof, we've all been there! 

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help.

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Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS.

Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more!

01:15:08 1/16/2025

CC392: Kail and Lindsie had a ROUGH holiday break that included therapy, surgery and tears. We start the episode with high emotions! Kail tries to figure out Lindsie's sibling dynamic on BOTH sides. Does anyone else struggle with parenting during their coparent's time? A listener asks if it's weird that their spouse's family is planning a family outing without the spouses and children?

Thank you to our sponsor!

Calm: Visit Calm.com/CONVOS for 40% off a Calm Premium subscription.

Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/COFFEE! #honeylovepod

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more!

RoBody: Find out if you?re covered at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Go to Ro.Co/Safety for boxed warning and full safety information.

Rocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app.

01:12:32 1/9/2025

CC391: Lindsie and Kail struggle with the trend of butterfly skirts being too short for certain ages. We are big supporters of four day work weeks and Kail explains how it would make a real difference in some familial situations. Lindsie watched the Lisa Frank docu-series on Amazon Prime and shares all the crazy details with Kail. One of today's Foul Plays is a reminder to Kail that she refuses to live with dementia.  

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.

CookUnity: Go to cookunity.com/coffeeconvos or enter code COFFEECONVOS before checkout for 50% off your first week.

Thrive Causemetics: Get an exclusive 20% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEE

01:09:43 1/2/2025

CC390: For the LAST episode of 2024 let us revisit the FIRST episode of 2024...

Lindsie recaps her hectic last days of 2023 and Kail shares her word of the year. Kail shares the unexpected message she received from her mom, and how in the same day she got in touch with her sister. Lindsie has some thoughts about Cher asking for conservatorship over her son and talks about the time her brother Kyle was under Todd's legal guardianship as an adult. A listener asks for advice on their 18 year-old daughter wanting to move out under objectionable circumstances, and for Foul Play someone gets a vasectomy scare.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

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Rocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

01:28:02 12/26/2024

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Premium Episodes

CC400: To the surprise of no one, Lindsie reads that oatmeal is the healthiest breakfast food for you.. But Kail will not be participating in that. What Kail IS interested in participating in is babysitting swaps with BFFs or family members after reading about another mom's experience with this hack. A listener shares a situation that many may relate to when it comes to friendship dynamics changing during pregnancies and after birth. Kail explains how she also experienced a sense of loneliness throughout her pregnancies and how they differed. Lindsie talks about her struggle when she first let Jackson see her cry and lose her cool. Today's Foul Play is giving foul but in a good way!

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RoBody: Find out if you?re covered at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Go to Ro.Co/Safety for boxed warning and full safety information.

01:17:35 2/20/2025

CC399: On this month's bonus episode.. Lindsie is saying very suspicious things and one of Kail's kids unexpectedly drops a swear word during the Superbowl watch party. Kail addresses the speculations as to why we stopped hearing from Kristen all of a sudden. Because we recorded before Valentine's Day, Lindsie and Kail share their plans for Valentine's. Lastly, someone asks AITA in the Facebook group and today's Foul Play has the marriage relationship we all strive for.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.

Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code Coffee at BranchBasics.com/Coffee #branchbasicspod 

Happy Mammoth: Get 15% off on your entire first order at happymammoth.com just use the code COFFEECONVOS at checkout.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

01:16:39 2/17/2025

CC398: Kail and Lindsie give their experiences with giving and receiving the silent treatment but are flabbergasted at the idea of anyone doing it to their children. Are you a LawnMower parent? Today we learn a new parenting term that Lindsie might be a part of and Kail explains how she wants self sufficient kids. And speaking of kids, another parenting article mentions the importance of teens balancing their family time which resonates with Kail. News of a lady sending fart videos to her boyfriend's ex is so unhinged and we are NOT here for it.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.

IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help

Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Lume Deodorant and get 15% off with promo code Coffeeconvos at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod

Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS.

01:15:42 2/13/2025

CC397: Kail and Lindsie are ready for this week to be over. Kail gives an update on her boob job and how she's been navigating co-parenting scheduling conflicts. Lindsie has ALSO been having co-parenting problems, and speaks on the Disney Dad theory that one parent always gets to be the fun parent while the other does not. A listener's daughter doesn't like swearing, and today's Foul Play makes us glad we're not school bus drivers.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.
Calm: Visit Calm.com/CONVOS for 40% off a Calm Premium subscription.
Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/COFFEE! #honeylovepod
IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help
RoBody: Find out if you?re covered at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Go to Ro.Co/Safety for boxed warning and full safety information.
Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app.

01:06:55 2/6/2025

CC396: Lindsie is having co-parenting issues that is on the verge of escalating, which Kail can relate to. Kail talks about the faux coochie emergency, their thoughts on the Blake Baldoni scandal, and is unconditional love a good thing? A listener asks a super sus question that has Kail and Lindsie concerned about the listener's relationship.

Thank you to our sponsor!

Happy Mammoth: Get 15% off on your entire first order at happymammoth.com just use the code COFFEECONVOS at checkout.

Honey Love: Start the new year off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/Coffee! #honeylovepod

Hungryroot: Get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at Hungryroot.com/convos and use code CONVOS

Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS.

Wayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app

01:20:34 1/30/2025

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