Over it and On with it with Christine Hassler

Over it and On With It. Master Coach Christine Hassler provides you with practical tools and spiritual principles to help you overcome whatever obstacles might be holding you back. Each episode, Christine coaches callers live on the air offering them inspiration and guidance to heal their past, change their present and create what they really want. Topics include: relationships, career, health, transitions, finances, life purpose, spirituality and whatever else callers have questions about. Christine coaches "regular people" on problems - and opportunities - we all face. It's a show that reminds you that you are not alone, while also teaching things you can implement in your own life.


EP 98: How Your Fear of Failure is Sabotaging Your Success with Lindsey

This episode is about moving past your fears and getting over it and...This episode is about moving past your fears and getting over it and on with it. I coach todays caller, Lindsey, on how to move from awareness to implementation. She knows the next steps to take but cannot figure out why she isnt taking them. She thinks her problem is about time management, productivity, and balance but, as you will hear in the call, its not about that at all.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode98]

What do you think about failure? Imagine you fail, or you get a no, or your endeavor is a complete flop. What happens inside of you? What do you think and feel? Are you embarrassed?

A healthy relationship to failure is an essential ingredient to success. Failure is defined as lack of success. But defining success is more difficult because if success is learning something, growing, or having experiences that make us stronger and wiser, then we never really fail. In my opinion, the only way you fail is if you go into the hopeless, helpless victim mode.

Stop playing it safe just because you want to avoid failure. Get out of your comfort zone, and jump in the pool instead of taking teeny, tiny baby steps so you can move forward.

You have to drop the guilt and give yourself permission to do what you want.

Sign up for the Summer of Love Challenge. Get a daily email about spreading and sharing love, from me. Plus, when you sign up you become eligible to get 6-months free in my Inner Circle Membership Community.

Consider/Ask Yourself:
How are you at moving from awareness to implementation?
How do you feel about failure? What has been your biggest failure to date?
What steps do you know you should take, but dont seem to be taking?

Lindseys Question:
Lindsey would like to know how to take action and use her time more wisely.

Lindseys Key Insights and Ahas:
She lives in an Expectation Hangover.
Shes never made a step without having a plan in place.
Shes feeling paralysis from analysis.
The fear of change is holding her back.
There is a piece of her that remains unfulfilled.
She knows the status quo will lead to regret and remorse.
She has a fear that no one will want to work with her.
She feels guilty about her lack of focus.

How to Get Over It and On With It:
She should give herself permission to do what she wants to do.
She needs to take steps that dont threaten her sense of security but are still out of her comfort zone.
She needs to write out the expectations she makes of herself and then create agreements with herself.

Take a risk and let yourself fail.
Write down your expectations and then make agreements with yourself, and stick to them.
Give yourself permission to go for your dreams, even if it means failing.

Audible Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial with this link.

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Inner Circle Membership Community
@ChristinHassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler
Primal Blueprint
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05:52 7/26/2017

Past Episodes

Are you ready to untame your soul?? That sounds really good doesnt it? Or maybe it doesnt - maybe it sounds terrifying. Either way, I have one of my best friends and soul sisters here for you on Coaches Corner to talk about it.

Meet Elizabeth Dialto. She is the founder of Wild Soul Movement. Her mission is to build community, curate conversations, and create content, events, and experiences that turn your relationship with yourself into one of the most wild, passionate love affairs of your lifetime.

The Wild Soul Movement program provides a grounded and loving practice in self-discovery designed to get all parts of you in right relationship with each other. Elizabeths aim is to meet you where you are and guide you to where you want to be while always keeping primary focus on cultivating your trust and faith in the idea that everything youve ever needed has always been inside of YOU.
We talk about what the wild soul moment is about and Elizabeth shares how she learned to love herself and her body by stripping away at everything that was preventing her from seeing what already was, and she is committed to help you do the same
I am personally taking this course and am a part of the WSM, you can join me at wildsoulmovement.com/christine
And to join the Summer of Love Challenge go to christinehassler.com/love-challenge
05:52 7/22/2017
This episode is about going back to a relationship even when you know its not what you want. Todays caller, Trinette, is in a volatile relationship, but we uncover that its not about him but what he triggers in her.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode97]

Do these issues always go back to our parents? Not always. However, our formative years were when our mind programmed the belief systems that govern our current choices. Its when most of our core wounds occurred because we didnt have the tools or support to process them in a healthy way.

I dont like to put labels on things, but I used the term codependent with Trinette to help her understand and relate. Codependency, when boiled down, is really a lack of a healthy sense of self. Codependent people get their self-worth from the approval of others or by taking on others as projects. They can also be people pleasers.

It is possible to heal codependency. Recognizing you are codependent means you are ready and willing to commit to having a healthy sense of self. The first step is to get out of the codependent relationship.

A healthy sense of self means we recognize that we are whole, lovable, and complete, and dont need anyone. Relationships can be an expression of love and connection, rather than an attempt to fill the void.

To my Aussie Friends My annual trip to Australia is slated for the first 2 weeks of October 2017. I will make time for private intensives and possibly a personal growth retreat or mastermind for wellness entrepreneurs. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com and let me know what you would like me to create while I am there.

Also, I am launching a relationship course called Get Over Your BreakUp and On With Love. Its about healing your old issues and creating the love you want. The 1st 10 people who email Jill@ChristineHassler.com and tell her you want to be in the course will receive a 10% discount.

Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you in an on again-off again relationship? Do you keep going back for more, even though its really not what you want?
Can you relate to not feeling unconditional love when you were growing up?
Do you experience anxiety or sadness when you are not in a relationship? Do you settle for unhealthy relationships?
When it comes to self-love and self-trust, can you admit you have room to grow?

Trinettes Question:
Trinette would like to know why there is so much back-and-forth in her relationship.

Trinettes Key Insights and Ahas:
Shes judgmental towards her boyfriend.
Sometimes her boyfriend gets physical.
She felt like her parents were immature.
She has a trust issue with love.
The relationship feels addictive to her.
She had to do many things on her own growing up.
She feels like she has been in survival mode her entire life.

How to Get Over It and On With It:
She should acknowledge herself for recognizing the issue.
She needs to stop going back for more.
She needs to give love to herself.
She should research co-dependency.
She needs to make a choice about her relationship.
She needs to let go of the fear that she is like her mother.

If you keep going in and out of a relationship you recognize as codependent, commit to choosing to get out of it.
Try these resources on codependency Melody Beatties Codependent No More, Pia Mellodys Facing Codependence and Expectation Hangover.
Joining my Inner Circle membership community will give you both the tools and the support you need.
Forgive the parents who set up your codependent patterns. Write down everything they taught you. Even the things they taught you through contrast.

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Inner Circle Membership Community
@ChristinHassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler
05:52 7/19/2017
In this Coaches Corner Christine answers three listeners questions. The first one has to do with unhealthy dating patterns. The second question from Joe is about healing old childhood wounds. And the final question is about how to handle a friendship that may have reached its expiration date.

Listen in as Christine dishes some advice you can immediately apply to your own life!

To get your questions answered on air and/or be added to the waitlist to be coached, email assist@christinehassler.com
05:52 7/15/2017
This episode is about shifting your external world while making internal changes. Todays caller, Jenn, has been through transformational changes, and believes she is confused about her work as a relationship coach. Anyone who is on the growth path will relate to this call in some way.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode96]

As we uncover and heal our issues, either in relationships or in the physical, we shift our vibration. Our energetic selves change, which creates a shift in what were attracted to and what we attract. Dis-ease and/or toxic relationships are heavy in energetic weight. As we heal, clear, and forgive, it shifts our vibration and it creates changes in our outside world. Some changes happen naturally and some just give us an unsettling feeling about something not being right.

As we shift consciousness our identity shifts, and as it does it can feel confusing, because our external life is not congruent with our internal life.

Just because you dont have clarity about something, or something doesnt feel as fulfilling as it used to, doesnt mean you are confused. You are in a time of change and transformation. For something to transform, it must go through a period of chaos and uncertainty. Dont rush to figure it out allow it to be revealed.

To my Aussie Friends My annual trip to Australia is slated for the first 2 weeks of October, 2017. I will make time for private intensives and possibly a personal growth retreat or mastermind for wellness entrepreneurs. If you are interested email Jill@ChristineHassler.com ASAP!

And as we are coming up on the 100th episode of this podcast, Over It and On With It has caught the attention of the PodcastOne network. It means exposure to a much larger audience, and access to advertisers who help pay production costs. Yay! Im hoping this allows me to add more coaching episodes.

Consider/Ask Yourself:
Is there some aspect of your life that doesnt feel right, or just feels off?
Have you healed a relationship or physical issue that has catalyzed wanting to make changes in other aspects of your life?
Can you relate to being a chameleon to stay safe? Are you a people pleaser?
Are you scared of being vulnerable or being seen?

Jenns Question:
Jenn feels she has lost her inspiration and passion towards her business. She wants to gain clarity around her coaching business.

Jenns Key Insights and Ahas:
She had a falling out with her mother.
She was physically ill.
She internalizes her mothers issues.
She was a people pleaser and chameleon around her mother.
She has always been there for others.
Her relationship coaching feels shallow to her now.
Shes committed to getting out of her head.

How to Get Over It and On With It:
She should bring more of her own voice into her business.
She shouldnt underestimate the value she brings to her clients.
For guidance, she should look at the way the people she appreciates share their stories.
She should share her emotional depths.

Action Steps:
Get Expectation Hangover if you dont have it already, and in the spiritual section do the lesson quest exercise under the role of the seeker.
Take an inventory of your external life. Does it match your internal life?
How can you be more vulnerable and honest? Think of the ways you are a people pleaser or play small. How can you step into a deeper level of authenticity?
Where are you telling yourself you are confused when you are not? Can you allow yourself to be in uncertainty?

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Inner Circle Membership Community
@ChristinHassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler
05:52 7/12/2017
A surprise gig that happened for me this year is co-hosting and being a relationship expert on a TV show!! This week my co-host from the show, Dr Isaiah, joins me and we talk about our experience as experts on this show - it was quite a ride. Tune in to see us in action on The Spouse House which airs Sunday nights beginning July 9th on TLC. A little more about the Doc: Dr. Isaiah Pickens is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in consulting, counseling, and educational services for families, teens, and young adults. Dr. Pickens is currently Assistant Director of the Service Systems Program at the UCLA-Duke National Center for Child Traumatic Stress (NCCTS). In this role he is responsible for supporting efforts to make child- and family- service systems more trauma informed. He works on initiatives that will promote the identification, referral and appropriate support for culturally diverse children, adolescent, and families who have experienced trauma. He presents all over the world and speaks on the subject of mental health. He is also the founder of iOpening Enterprises, a multi-media company that specializes in health messaging through the creation of books, films, and life skills workshops for youth and the adults who care for them. He is also a regular contributor to Psychology Today, Huffington Learn more here: www.iopeningenterprises.com
05:52 7/8/2017
This episode is about follow-through and commitment. Todays caller, Jill, has a pattern of giving up on everything she begins. She recently quit her job, but she fears she wont follow through with her new endeavor, based on her past patterns. Do you identify with starting things but not sticking to them? When your enthusiasm wears off, do you quit and then judge yourself? Its a vicious cycle. Its important for you to get out of it. If you have someone to blame, you are not going to change. Instead of hanging on to your scapegoats and excuses, shift your patterns by hanging on to your goals. Connect to your why and commit to your action steps, and stop quitting when things get hard. If you feel you were over-parented, you cant blame your parents anymore. You need to set boundaries with them and parent yourself through your challenges. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable. Adversity is one of the ways we grow. Coaches: Before giving clients insight or advice it is important to get into their model of the world. Ask them why they think they have the behavior. When a client is in their pattern when speaking to us, sometimes we miss it. As a coach, we should be more committed to their breakthrough than to solving their complaint. Todays caller Jill is part of my Inner Circle Membership Community. She has access to daily practices and meditations to help her grow in all aspects of her life. She can reach out to a like-minded community when she needs support, and so can you if you join. Learn more about Inner Circle by emailing Jill@ChristineHassler.com. And, the TV show I have been working on, The Spouse House, premiers on Sunday, July 7th on TLC. I am the co-host and relationship coach to seven men and seven women who are ready to find their spouse, get engaged and get married, before they leave the house. My co-host Dr. Isaiah Pickens joins me on this weeks Coaches Corner to discuss our experience. Consider/Ask Yourself: Can you relate to a pattern of starting and stopping? How did your parents react when you experienced adversity? How is it affecting your level of commitment and being able to move through things? Are you putting too much on your plate? Do you have a story about giving up? Are you blaming a person or past situation for why you cant stick with things or be accountable for things in your life? Jills Question: Jill would like to know how to follow through with the projects she starts. Jills Key Insights and Ahas: She resents her mother for saying it was OK to quit. She doesnt remember her parents giving her affection when she was a child. She is giving away her power by resenting her mother. She got love and attention when she gave up on things. Shes not fluent in the experience of moving past resistance. Shes not connected to her power. How to Get Over It and On With It: She should forgive her mother, and take responsibility for her own life. She needs to connect with her inner coach and her own voice of encouragement. She needs to learn to love herself through any resistance she encounters. Action Steps: Stop blaming others. Take full responsibility for your life. Become fluent in the voice of encouragement. Stop looking for reasons to quit or permission to stop. Breakdown overwhelm into small manageable steps. Look at your incomplete cycles of action. Set a date to complete something or let it go. Commit to something you want to do for consecutive 40 days. Join my Inner Circle community to get a healthy support system. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community @ChristinHassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@ChristineHassler.com
05:52 7/5/2017
In this quickie episode Christine discusses her top core value: Freedom. She explores what freedom truly means and how we can experience it no matter what are circumstances are. Are you free? Or are you sentencing yourself with judgment and restraining yourself from expressing the awesome-ness that you are? Are you are trapped in not-enough-ness because you are comparing yourself to others? Or perhaps you are imprisoning yourself by choosing to experience anxiety and suffering. Or maybe you are a prisoner of your own story and locked away from your own truth because you are constrained by the opinions of others. Listen in and step into your freedom.
05:52 7/1/2017
This episode is about moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Todays caller, Jen, is having a hard time getting to forgiveness because she doesn't believe her parents did the best they could. Her grudge may be costing her the very thing she longs for the most.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode94]

One of the ways we get to forgiveness is knowing people did the best they could, even if we believe they could have done better. Knowing they did the best they could with the tools they had is one of the ways we can get to forgiveness. It can be difficult, especially when it was a parent or a loved one.

Holding on to anger, blame, and resentment is toxic. It will eat you up inside and keep you from what you want. Continuing to use the past as a scapegoat for why you dont have want you want gives your past power. Until you move into acceptance and forgiveness, your past will infiltrate every aspect of your present and your future.

Look at the places where you are not letting love into your life. Are you focusing too much on the people that didnt love you in the way you wanted, and missing out on all the love around you?

Would you like to connect more with me and receive a resource to help you transform into owning your purpose? Use this link, ChristineHassler.com/SpiritJunkie to enroll in Gabby Bernsteins Spirit Junkie Masterclass by June 29th and receive access to the class, a one-hour one-on-one coaching session with me, a one-month membership to my Inner Circle Community, a download of my guided meditation CD and more.

Consider/Ask Yourself:
Is there someone you have not been able to forgive because you truly feel what they did is unforgivable?
Is there someone you are blaming for your not having what you want in your life?
Do you tend to imagine worst-case scenarios and feel that things just dont go your way in life?
Did you grow up around addicts or as the child of addicts?

Jens Question:
Jen would like to forgive her mother and accept that her parents did the best they could.

Jens Key Insights and Ahas:
She didnt get the love and attention she wanted as a child.
She wants closure with her mother who recently passed.
She feels broken.
Shes created the healthy family she always wanted.
She is keeping herself from fully appreciating and accepting the love of her current family.
She is using her past as a scapegoat.
As a child, she had low expectations so she wouldnt be disappointed.
It wasnt her job to save her parents.

How to Get Over It and On With It:
She shouldnt identify with the victim role, and understand she received what she needed.
She should stop mimicking her mothers behaviors.
She should do projection work and let the love that exists in her current life in.
She should have appreciation and have life-affirming and positive thoughts.

If there is someone you want to hear something from, some kind of forgiveness, write a letter to you from them. Write down all the things you wanted to hear from them and read it to yourself.
Do projection work. Look at judgments you have towards others and see how you may be doing it in your own life, externally or internally.
Be honest about the cost of holding onto a grudge and write down what it is keeping you from. Write down all the blessings you have in life and how you may be blinded to them because of the grudge.
Have positive expectations and use your imagination to consider the best-case scenario.

ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link.

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Coaches Corner with Gabby Bernstein Turn Your Pain Into Purpose
Inner Circle Membership Community
@ChristinHassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
31:54 6/28/2017
Anxiety has been up for a LOT of people lately. So if you're feeling it, you're not alone. Listen in for my top tips on handling your anxiety.
10:40 6/24/2017

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